OAOAST Syndicated 9/14/08

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Brought to you by American Express

Taped: September 11th, 2008

First air date: September 14th, 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area)

Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan

 

Hey, Syndicated is back! Many doubted this day would come. But those that believed have finally been rewarded for their patience! Their never-ending hope that someday, somehow, someone would put some damn effort together and finally put a Syndicated together did not falter, even in the face of prolonged apathy. And we dedicate tonight's show to that person. Shine on my brother!

 

Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura welcomed us back to syndicated wrestling at it's finest and promised us action from the likes of Malaysia Nerdly, Tim Cash, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, Denzel Spencer and Felix Strutter. Plus in the Syndicated main-event, in fall-out from last week's HeldDOWN~!, two thirds of the World 6-Man Tag Team Champions Faqu and James Blonde would take on two thirds of their last challengers, The Christ Air Express.

 

***The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew -VS- The Can-Jam Connection (Denzel Spencer and Felix Strutter)***

Syndicated also started with tag team action though. Former bitter rivals Spencer and Strutter teamed up for the first time. That seemed to give Rico and Lucius some confidence coming in, Lucius grinning from ear to ear as he started out with Denzel. In the early exchanges Lucius was able to get the upperhand on each occassion and on each occassion broke away after putting Denzel on his back, to tend to his 'fro. But Denzel came back with a quick succession of armdrags to dent the confidence and send Lucius out to the floor. Lucius brought Rico in at that point to take over. The Brazilian brawler squared up with After Hours and showed his power advantage by winning a test of strength. However, Felix was helped out by Denzel, taking Rico down with double top wristlocks. Embarassingly Rico tried in vain to kip-up three times and three times landed on his Brazilian BUTT, forcing Lucius to come in and help out, rolling him to his feet where he then armdragged the Can-Jammers to the floor! As Felix and Denzel regrouped, The MGHWC faked them out on a double dive, bouncing casually off the ropes and coming to a stop combing 'fro and stroking 'tache instead. Which they would regret, as the unharmed Felix and Denzel flew back inside with stereo Springboard Dropkicks to wipe them out! From there, the former rivals showed some more surprising teamwork as they combined on first Rico, then Lucius, bowling them around until the referee stepped in. That allowed Rico to hit a sneaky knee from the apron on Denzel while the ref tried to get Felix out, setting Denzel up for THE POUNCE~! Lucius and Rico isolated Denzel from that point, working him over for a few minutes with Felix only able to look on. A Hairraising Experience (Back Suplex/Neckbreaker Combo) wasn't enough to put Denzel away though. And a Double Backdrop attempt would go array, Denzel able to fight his opponents off and get the tag. The fresh Felix cleaned house until Denzel was capable of lending him a hand, irish whipping The MGHWC into each other. Stereo dropkicks sandwiched them together again before an attempt at stereo back suplex. Denzel hit his on Lucius, but Felix was unable to get Rico up and he countered with a Gutwrench Suplex. Rico then aimed a lariat at Denzel, who ducked and delivered a Superkick! A clothesline would send Denzel and Lucius out to the floor which left Felix and Rico in the ring to struggle to their feet. A boot set Rico up, but he backdropped out of the double underhook and then prepared to deliver a Moustache Ride. Moustache Rides for no-one however, as Felix escaped the move. Felix set up the Thunder Bay Throttle again, but Rico shoved him off, only for a blind tag to be made. Caught ducking his head, Rico took a kick to the shoulder blade, setting him upright for a crossbody from the Carribean, Denzel able to hook Rico up tight in order to keep him down for the 3 count!

 

Winner: The Can-Jam Connection, via pinfall

 

Showing their differences were well to the side, Denzel and Felix celebrated their victory together in the ring while Rico and Lucius were left to lick their wounds. Again.

 

 

Watching that match with great interest was Vinny Valentine in his locker room. I say 'his' locker room and hear you scoff at the fact he would have his own locker room, especially when he's not even wrestling tonight. And, yeah, I admit it's just your regular communal locker room. But Vinny has customised a corner of it with some funky purple curtains, some flashing disco lights and a shiny disco ball hung from the ceiling. And in that corner, Vinny watched the match. His personal space was invaded however by Biff Atlas. Still feeling the effects of the Eulogy on the chair from last week's HeldDOWN~!, Biff sported a neckbrace, a protective facemask, a protective mouthshield and a hospital panic button, leading to who knows where should he come into immediate peril. Biff seemed happy enough at first. But as soon as he went to speak, the sight of a metal folding chair sent him into a panic attack. Biff went into meltdown furiously tapping at his panic button, much to Vinny's confusion, ending an utterly pointless segment.

 

 

OAOAST ZERO HOUR 2008

September 28th; Cleveland, Ohio

LIVE on Pay-Per-View!

 

 

***Tim Cash -VS- Spencer Reiger***

In a rematch from last week's episode of HeldDOWN~!, the last real good guy in professional wrestling Tim Cash was nice enough to grant Spencer Reiger's request for payback. Cash tried to start the rematch as he did the original, with a handshake, to which Spencer just laughed and tried to remind Cash what happened last time he tried it. When Cash (politely) refused to take no for an answer, he ended up with a physical reminder, a slap to the face. Reiger paid for it though, as Cash took him down with an inside leg-sweep and started to work over the right knee. After a few simple set-up moves from Cash, Reiger bailed to the floor and wagged his finger. With Cash too much of a good guy to follow him to the floor Spencer was able to stall for almost a full 10 count to sort out his knee. Back inside, Reiger took over after a cheapshot right hand during a clean break in the corner. Reiger went to work on Cash, clubbing him with forearms and peppering him with chops. Not to mention a few cheapshots, Reiger showing what he learnt in OAOVW by distracting the referee with a "look over there" tactic allowing him an extra couple of blatant choking seconds. But Reiger's constant pauses to play to the crowd eventually cost him. A snapmare set Cash up for a dropped knee, but as he sprung off the bottom rope Reiger hit nothing but canvas! Cash took advantage with a trio of quick clotheslines, before going to the top rope and connecting on a big flying clothesline! Back to the knee, Cash delivered a kneebreaker. A double leg then set Reiger up for the Midwest Sling (Texas Cloverleaf)... and just as he did on HeldDOWN~!, Reiger quickly tapped to the hold.

 

Winner: Tim Cash, via submission

 

Post match, Cash seemed concerned for Reiger and checked on his condition before trying to get the crowd to give him a round of applause for his efforts. Not even the ultimate nice guy could get the crowd to warm to Spencer though. Cash would then offer Reiger the handshake again, his faith in fair play apparantly not damaged by the fact Reiger had already turned him down twice. The third time was not the charm, as Reiger pulled away at the last second to wipe his hand through his hair and leave poor Timmy hanging. But far from being insulted, Cash is a nice enough guy to see the humour in the embarrassment and laughed it off as Reiger left.

 

The HeldDOWN~! recap took us back to the historic HeldDOWN~! PoseDOWN~.... edit by Patty : lol! I was to sick to write it, so I just had Malaysia go down on Jock in a hot tub in front of her sister. some people did some other stuff as well! Josh played pokemon like a bitch ass ho I kno that!

 

***Malaysia Nerdly -VS- Sugar Belle***

It was a case of wrong place, wrong time for Sugar Belle. And not just because her name didn't begin with an 'M' unlike the rest of the Women's Division. The young brunette rookie from Illinois (She's not even from Canada either! What the hell is she even doing here!?) came up against Malaysia Nerdly, a formidable task even when it's not her first match since losing the Women's Title. Malaysia came out in a foul mood and didn't even wait for the bell, storming forward as soon as she got into the ring. Poor Sugar was simply overwhelmed and pounded in the corner with referee Charles Robinson barely able to pull Malaysia off of her. Malaysia didn't let up and continued to pound on her inexperienced opponent before turning to her array of torturous moves. But even the sounds of Sugar squealing in pain as Malaysia pulled on her hair, pulled at her facial features, pulled at her shoulder sockets didn't seem to excite Malaysia like it usually would. The only pleasure Malaysia got from Sugar's suffering was letting out some frustration. Her frustrations were let out in a BIG way with a Fallaway Slam sending the youngster clean across the ring. Once Sugar gamely fought to her feet, she was run over with a brutal Yakuza Kick to the chest, not once but twice. That pretty much knocked the fight out of her and after being thrown unceremoniously onto her face by Malaysia, Sugar was trapped in the torturous Inverted Atomic Drop and forced into submission.

 

Winner: Malaysia Nerdly, via submission

 

 

Backstage we found The Christ Air Express in not-so strenuous preparations for their main-event match, busy playing HACKEY-SACK~! With a watching brief was Melody Nerdly in a distressed looking Space Invaders t-shirt, with Jamie O'Hara. Melody used her womanly charms to try and make sure O'Hara would have her guys' back should the numbers go from 2 on 2 to something less fair, since Baron wasn't around tonight. Unfortunately, Melody's nerd lingo didn't really register with the guy from the streets of Birmingham England, who listened to her three and a half minute plea and able to respond with just one word: "Wot?" If that's really a word. So Melody dumbed it down a few dozen notches. And despite her attempts to sound 'street' being an embarrassing, cringeworthy failure, O'Hara seemed to get the message and promised to have their back, "'specially if that prick Black wanna start somm'it." It was Melody's turn to be confused at what the hell was said and she inexplicably gave Jamie the black power salute before getting MARV and MEL together to head to the ring.

 

 

NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~!

New Women's Champion Jade Rodez-Duncan in action for the first time.

 

We hear from Christian Wright! Dictionaries at the ready!

 

HeldDOWN PoseDOWN! Babyoil at the ready!

 

Plus, United States Championship on the line!

Colombian Heat vs. Alfdogg

 

 

***The Christ Air Express w/Melody Nerdly -VS- James Blonde and Faqu***

After their victory last week, Blonde and Faqu were crowing... well, mostly Blonde, Faqu doesn't do much in the way of crowing. But Blonde certainly did, openly mocking The CAE on the way to the ring and even to their face. Which would be a slightly risky move, if after a slap to the face on MEL he wasn't able to run and tag Faqu in. The big Samoan came in and despite MEL's best efforts with some clotheslines, some dropkicks and even a flying shoulder, he simply wasn't able to put Faqu down. A tag brought MARV in to try. With similar results. So Melody hopped up on the apron to engage in a 'flame war' with Blonde, distracting the referee and allowing both MARV and MEL to come in and lay into Faqu. And eventually, after a couple of attempts to drop him, Faqu was dropped with a Double Facecrusher. It didn't have too much effect however, forcing The CAE to follow up with a Double Kickflip, sending Faqu back where he got tied up in the ropes right by Blonde! Still in the middle of his arguement Blonde tagged in, completely unaware of what was going on around him. The moment he found himself face to face with both Nerdlys he froze and ran to his corner... to find Faqu tied up and unable to help! MARV and MEL tore right into the suddenly apologetic Blonde, subjecting him to a series of crisp double team attacks and getting the crowd fired up behind them. But as MEL picked MARV up in the electric chair for Sent From Above, Faqu was untied from the ropes and DESTROYED THEM BOTH WITH A HIGH BACK SUPLEX ON MEL!! MARV came down at a ridiculously ugly angle and rolled from the ring in pain. That left MEL all alone, knocked down off the ropes with a clothesline. Faqu was sent to the apron but Blonde was left with easy-pickings, delivering a couple of Marty Jannetty Fistdrops. A worried Melody tried in vain to get MARV back up and into the match but it was clear the youngest twin was in a bad way and wouldn't be able to continue. So poor Melody could only watch MEL be victimised by the 2/3s of the 6-Man Champions. Faqu dominated him in the teams corner with open handed attacks, getting backed up when he wouldn't break on the five count, at which point Blonde went to work with a choke with the tag rope. After this happened not twice, but three times, the crowd had had enough, as had Melody, who protested to the referee about the situation. Faqu dropped MEL with a Samoan Drop and went for the pin, but was told to pull him up at 2 by Blonde who wanted to come back in. With no end in sight to the punishment, help was at hand as JAMIE O'HARA suddenly ran to the ring! As he tried to convince the referee to let him replace MARV, Blonde got distracted from the match and pie-faced O'Hara off the apron. That fired the Brit up and he leapt to the apron, pulled off his tanktop and springboarded to the top... but got sent crashing back to the arena floor from a Faqu barge in mid-air!! Meanwhile, Blonde was caught napping with a small package from MEL... for a CLOSE 2 count! With a sudden second wind MEL hit the ropes, but again Faqu was there to snuff out the attack in his formative stages, striking MEL with a kick to the back. He then staggered into Illegally Blonde and the 3 count.

 

Winner: James Blonde and Faqu, via pinfall

 

Smug at his victory, Blonde raised Faqu's hand in victory. But their victory party was crashed, literally, as Jamie O'Hara returned to the air and caught Faqu with a Springboard Dropkick, knocking him right into Blonde! O'Hara went to work on Faqu with forearms, then baited him into missing a charge and pulling the top rope down on him. With Faqu out of the way, O'Hara knocked Blonde down with a spinning back kick to the jaw. O'Hara would then drag JB into position and deliver the 630 Splash!! Despite defeat, somewhat of a happy ending for The CAE, O'Hara mouthing away at Blonde as he left with a sore MEL and MARV who needed to be helped out by Melody.

 

 

FIN.

Edited September 15, 2008 by Patty O'Green