Tony149 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2008 “Sympathy for the Devil” hits and Theodore Moneymaker is carried in on a THRONE by random musclemen under the supervision of V.I.C.E. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Chief Executive Officer of the Enterprise… THEODORE MMMMMMONEYYYYYYYYYYYYMAKERRRRRR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Seated ringside on his throne, Moneymaker lights up his smoking pipe with a $100 bill and laughs. COLE Last week it was a robe and diamond ring. This week it’s a chair fitting of a king. What’s next, a golden statue of himself? COACH We cannot honor our messiah enough, Mikey. He saved an entire company and therefore our jobs by his efforts and those of his legions of supporters. COLE If you weren’t already brown I’d say you had a spot on your nose! “Superstar” by Lupe Fiasco replaces Theodore’s music and the Beverly Hills Blonds walk the red carpet filmed by their #1 fan Molly Nerdly. The trio is taken by surprise when they’re not allowed up the ring steps by V.I.C.E. COACH What’s going on here? A glance at Moneymaker reveals the reason. Pipe in mouth and head turned, the Billion Dollar Heir casually points to his $ shaped diamond ring. SIMON/NED/MOLLY :huh: Caught off-guard and somewhat embarrassed, the BHB and Molly kiss the ring. MONEYMAKER :lol: COLE (disgusted) Oh, how degrading. COACH We all must kiss the ring, Cole. Nobody’s superior to Theodore Moneymaker. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing… Buffer has the microphone ripped out of his hands by Simon. SIMON We’ll handle things from here, sport. Go have a seat and enjoy the show Ned Blanchard’s about to put on for your entertainment. NED You damn right, son. In just a few moments we’re gonna learn whether a generic brand like Baron Windels matches up to a brand [I]name[/I] like Ned Blanchard. After last week I got a receipt with your name on it, Windels. Tonight I’m gonna return the ass kicking! “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy cues and Baron Windels emerges to an ENORMOUS pop. Well, not really (not everybody can get the 1980s Hogan pop), but it’s a respectable one nonetheless! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds... “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Baron flings his shirt at the BHB and they hightail out of the squared circle. It’s not until the crowd’s died down a little that Ned returns inside. COACH How smart is Ned, Cole? Very subtle thing he did there, letting the crowd wear itself out. COLE Ned Blanchard a seasoned pro. He knows what he’s doing, no question. * DINGDINGDING * Both men lockup as the bell sounds and Baron Windels gets snapped over in an arm drag. So proud of himself is Ned, he takes a bow to a chorus of boos. Ned doesn’t let the haters bother him and locks back up with Baron, throwing a kick to the gut…but Windels blocks the cheap shot and scores with an ATOMIC DROP. Blanchard’s momentum springs him off the ropes and into a BIG BOOT, knocking the Handsome Hustler out through the ropes! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Simon rushes to his partner’s aid and helps him up. Ned in no mood to be filmed after what transpired, shielding his face from the camera. Then it’s back to business with a SLAP to Baron’s face. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Blanchard’s the only person in the house who doesn’t realize what a bad move that was. He learns the hard way though, dropped to the seat of his pants with a single punch! COACH That ought to be a disqualification. Baron just punched Ned with a closed fist right in front of the damn referee. Whatever argument Coach has is lost when Ned responds in kind. A slugfest ensues and Ned Blanchard receives the worst of it. He grabs a headlock out of desperation and is shoved off into the ropes, the victim of a dropkick on the rebound. Blanchard begs off in the corner, luring Baron into a false sense of security that allows him to land a back elbow to the temple! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Planted mid-ring courtesy of a back suplex, Baron manages to avoid a knee drop and hook Ned for the FIGURE-4. Luckily for Ned, Simon hops on the apron…and eats a roundhouse! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Awaiting Baron when he turns back around is Ned Blanchard and a back elbow that sends the Lone Star Gunslinger tumbling over the top! COLE The referee needs to keep a close eye on Simon here. COACH Like he’d do anything to break the rules. Simon does as Ned distracts the ref, whipping Baron into the guardrail and seeking Theodore Moneymaker’s approval after. A simple nod from the OAOAST Messiah bringing a smile to his face. Meanwhile, Baron pulls himself on the apron and Ned suplexes him inside. POINTY~! ELBOW off the ropes…but nobody’s home! Baron shakes the cobwebs and wrings Ned’s arm. The Handsome Hustler goes to the eyes to break free, then fires BW across. Windels ducks a clotheslines and levels Blanchard on the rebound with his patent RUNNING BUTT BUMP! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blanchard is set on the top for the SUPERPLEX, but Simon grabs Baron’s leg as he lifts Ned in the air and the Handsome Hustler falls on top! COLE Simon’s got the leg! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! BARON :huh: * DINGDINGDINGDING * "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Another incredible win for the Beverly Hills Blonds! Err, I mean Ned! COLE No, you had it right the first time. Simon and Ned have stolen another one. Theodore Moneymaker leaves his throne and is welcomed inside by Simon and Ned. But that’s as much communication they have with the man who signs their checks as Theodore heads straight for the referee. COACH What do we have here? After some words the ref WAVES OFF THE PIN and RESTARTS the match. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SIMON/NED :o COLE You’ve got to be kidding me!? The BHB look to Teddy for answers but he’s none to eager to provide them. Backs turned, BW BULLDOGS the BHB and covers Ned! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! MOLLY :bubbles: * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Hands on hips, Moneymaker shakes his head in disappointment while the BHB are still seeing stars following the bulldog. Baron Windels, meanwhile, celebrates his win by going around ringside slapping hands until he bumps into V.I.C.E. COACH Uh-oh. There’s no love lost here, Mikey Cole. Fist clinched, BW stands tall. Noticeably impressed with how Baron handled the situation, Theodore orders CPA and Detective Bosley to let him pass. The Gunslinger cautious as he goes by. COLE I don’t know what to make of this, fans. 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