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Mad Scientist

The Losers...

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I'll start the show with my meager offering. I tried to write a technical wizardry versus power and tenacity...unfortunately for me, Va'aiga did it a lot better. Here's my meager offering:




“Here we are, folks! The biggest show of the year and the biggest match of the show! SWF Genesis and the main event!” Mak Francis exults.


“Damn right, Francis!” The Suicide King agrees without his usual begrudging whine. “Right here in Greenville, South Carolina, the hometown of the greatest technical wrestler in the ring today, Michael Alexander!” King's glee is a little unsettling. “And tonight, Michael is going to finally take back the SWF Title and the howling idiot Va'aiga is finally going to get what's coming to him! I've been waiting all night for this!”


“I don't know about that, King,” Mak replies. “But I will say that fate seems to be leaning in Alexander's direction tonight...his return match for the title happening in his hometown at the biggest SWF show of the year, Genesis?”


The crowd at the Bi-Lo Center has begun a low sussurus; they know what's coming as well. Referee Brock Samson steps into the ring and puts out his cigarette, grinding it out on the turnbuckle. He is followed by the SWF's announcer extraordinaire, Funyon. The big man raises the microphone as he relishes his biggest spotlight of the year. “Ladies and Gentlemen...the next match is the main event of SWF Genesis 2008!”




“This match will be one fall for the SWF World Heavyweight Championship!”




“First, the challenger...he weighs in at 221 pounds...he hails from...GREENVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA...!”


The lights dim to flickering blue and white as Metallica echoes through the Bi-Lo Center.


“Fate steals along with silent tread,

Found oftenest in what least we dread,

Frowns in the storm with angry brow,

But in the sunshine strikes the blow....”


A resounding bell heralds the beginning of “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica, and a video montage of Alexander’s previous in-ring exploits interwoven with a new branching double-helix fractal graphic. The montage has been updated to include bits that feature Toxxic, MANSON, and Insane Luchador. Blue and white strobes flicker in the arena, for this special occasion coalescing on the ramp as a projection of the South Carolina state flag, and as the guitar kicks in...


Alexander steps out onto the stage, and the flicker lighting stops dead.






Michael takes some time to bask in the unusual adulation. He raises his hands and the crowd roars again in response. He begins his walk to the ring as the crowd starts their chant.




“I never thought I'd see the day when Michael Alexander would get a face pop!” Mak mutters, amazed.


“Well, you'd have to figure the people from his hometown would know quality, talent, and greatness when they see it.” King adds smugly.


The Mad Scientist climbs into the ring and raises his hands to his hometown crowd in a rare show of salutation. Alexander's hand is raised to each side of the arena, followed as if on cue with a chorus of cheers.




“This is almost surreal, King.” Mak shrugs uncomfortably.


“Well, at least his fellow South Carolinians know genius, talent, and greatness when they see it, Francis,” King instructs. “It's a shame the rest of the world lacks the perception of Alexander's home state.”


Michael Alexander looks like he's calling for the microphone, but before he can...


The arena lights dim sharply, the entranceway fills with smoke, and the spotlights home in on the entrance gate. The loud shouts of Pacifika Hip Hop star Savage ring out across the arena...



It ain't good, it ain't good 'cos you'll get jumped in my hood!


It ain't good, it ain't good 'cos you'll get jumped in my hood!”


“Typical Maori,” grumbles King. “Interrupting his betters.”


“I hope he interrupts Alexander a little more about the head and shoulders myself,” Mak replies.


Va'aiga steps out into the entrance gate and walks through the smoke. He throws the BOO-YAH! Punch combination then throws back the hood of his entrance robe. Va'aiga begins his walk down the ramp, throwing a few phantom jabs. Alexander's face tightens and he waves away the microphone, devoting all his attention to the approaching champion.


Funyon catches up quickly. “And the SWF World Heavyweight Champion, from New Zealand...weighing in at 350 pounds...he is the Maori Badass...VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAI-INNNNNNNNNNG-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”




Savage's thumping tones reverberate through the Bi-Lo Center. He points to Michael and makes a peremptory cutting motion across his throat.


“How many dudes you know roll like this?

How many dudes you know flow like this?

Not many, if any. Not many, if any.

How many dudes you know got the skills to go and rock a show like this?

Uh uh, uh uh, I don't know anybody.”


Va'aiga steps into the ring and throws his robe to a ring attendant before climbing up onto the turnbuckles and throwing the Shaka Signs, but he only gets more jeers as a result.




“This has got to be a new experience for Va'aiga,” Mak remarks. “Usually the Maori is the crowd favorite.”


“Well, maybe this crowd actually wants a champion who can wrestle?” King inquires sarcastically.


Va'aiga and Michael Alexander stare at each other, the Maori fuming and Alexander sporting his characteristic smirk. Referee Samson growls at both men, asking if they're ready. Va'aiga tosses his robe to the ring attendant and grunts. Alexander nods, dropping into a “sugarfoot” catch stance. Samson calls for the bell.




The Maori bulls forward with a snarl, trying to close the distance and start pounding. Michael shoots low, dodging behind. He goes for a quick single leg pick-up, tripping the big man and sending him to the mat. Va'aiga catches himself, though, only falling to his knees. The Mad Scientist takes advantage of the situation with a quick stomp to the back of the Maori's leg, eliciting a growl from the big man and slowing Va'aiga's efforts to rise. Alexander kicks Va'aiga's right arm out from under him, causing the surprised Maori to drop to the mat. The Evil Genius uses the opening to snag his opponent's right arm in a Fujiwara arm bar. The crowd approves.




“Ha! Already the big lug is being outclassed, Francis! Only a minute into the match and he's already on the mat!”

“Like you said, King, it's only a minute into the match. I don't see the Maori Badass being in that position very long.”


Va'aiga is not amused. With a bellow, the Maori Badass pushes himself up to his knees. Alexander tries to use the arm bar to force the big man back down, but Va'aiga will not be stopped. Rising to his feet, Va'aiga glares at Alexander, who still has his right arm barred. The Maori bulls his opponent into the ropes, and whips him off. Alexander rebounds, leaping up to strike the charging Maori with a flying forearm smash...which causes Va'aiga to stagger a little before he shrugs it off.


“Well, it looks like Michael Alexander may have really gotten himself into trouble now, King! It's always a bad idea to go after the Maori's head...”


“Well, Alexander should know to go after a VITAL area, Francis, and we all know Va'aiga's head is the least vital part of his body.”


He reaches for Alexander, grinning viciously. Michael, realizing this could pose a problem, ducks behind the lumbering Maori, grabbing Va'aiga's wrist and using it to twist his opponent's arm into a hammerlock. Va'aiga starts to consider firing an elbow, but realizes that Alexander's positioning is such that he can't reach him without dislocating one or both of his shoulders. Before the big man can reevaluate, however, the Mad Scientist begins snapping off a series of vicious kicks into the back of the Maori's right leg. Va'aiga stumbles slightly, favoring his now-stinging right leg...then suddenly plows backwards, smashing a surprised Michael Alexander into a nearby turnbuckle!




“And the Maori schools Michael Alexander again. Getting into close proximity of Va'aiga is generally a recipe for serious injuries, King.”


“Whatever, Francis. Va'aiga luckily tripped himself and fell onto Michael; we both know that's the only way he can deal with actual wrestling.”


The impact understandably loosens the Evil Genius' grip, allowing the exceedingly grumpy Maori to get free and let loose with a series of crushing back elbows to Alexander's jaw. Va'aiga still seems to be favoring that right arm a little, but the only way you'd notice is that he seems to be using his left elbow for the aforementioned pounding. Va'aiga grabs the arm of his stunned opponent and Irish whips him into the opposite turnbuckle, with sufficient impact to cause the smaller man to bounce out of the corner like a billiard ball, flopping to the mat. The big man gets back into his groove by throwing up his trademark shaka sign and bellowing, “BOO-YAH!” The Greenville crowd doesn't react as the Maori would normally expect.






“HAHAHAHA! Francis, did I tell you I love Greenville? Finally, a crowd that sees this lumbering idiot for the waste of space that he is! AND they appreciate the greatness of Michael Alexander!”


“King, Alexander lives here! Of course the crowd's going to cheer for him!”


The Maori looks as though he is taken aback by the reaction, but it only last for a moment. However, that is enough for Michael to drag himself up to his hands and knees. Seeing this, the Badass responds with his characteristic vigor, booting the Mad Scientist squarely in the gut with a field goal worthy kick...or at least it would be in American football. Alexander grunts in pain and rolls away. The big Islander follows him, dragging the South Carolinian up by his head and executing a stunning headbutt! Alexander's legs buckle, but the Maori hoists him up into a high bodyslam, walking him around the ring for a few seconds before tossing him across the ring with a snarl!




“Va'aiga is dominating Alexander now, King! If he doesn't figure out some way to neutralize the power and striking expertise of the Maori, this match isn't going to last long.”


“This is only temporary, Francis. It's inevitable that the Maori was going to get in some offense; even a broken clock is right twice a day. Enjoy it while it lasts, because Michael will turn things around again in short order.”


The Mad Scientist tries to get back up as Va'aiga stomps after him. He manages to get back to his feet in time for Va'aiga to fire off a nasty cacophony of body blows, driving him back into the corner. The Maori then whips his opponent into the corner. Alexander slumps into the corner after the impact and the Maori celebrates in his usual way – casting his hand aloft for the shaka sign and howling “BOO-YAH!”


“This is not good for Michael Alexander, King. Once Va'aiga gets into a groove like this, you might as well try to ride out a tidal wave.”


“Michael can handle this, Francis! He's got the force of destiny behind him; we're here in his hometown for the biggest show of the year for the biggest prize in the SWF!”


With a frightening grin made even more horrific by his facial tattoos, Va'aiga charges in after Alexander with a brutal Yakuza kick! Michael Alexander, being the uncooperative buzzkiller that he is, drops under the kick, causing the Maori's right foot to go over the top rope as the Islander crashes into the corner!




Not one to let such an exquisite opportunity slip by, the Mad Scientist slides deftly out under the bottom rope and manages to grab the Maori's right foot before the stunned Badass can pull himself out of his predicament. With an obvious glee, Alexander tucks Va'aiga's foot under his right and settles back, using the top rope and turnbuckle as a brutal fulcrum to strain the beleaguered right leg of the Maori! To make matters worse, the Evil Genius slips his legs through the bottom and middle ropes to scissor the poor Maori's other leg and locks it in, putting terrific pressure on not only the legs and knees, but also the hip and groin of his monstrous opponent! For the first time in quite a while, the SWF fans are treated to a howl of pain from the Pacifican powerhouse! The Greenville crowd eats it up like funnel cakes!






“YES! This is perfect, Francis! Va'aiga's finding out why they call Michael Alexander the Mad Scientist of the Mat; there's not even a name for that hold!”


“This is the worst position for Va'aiga to be in for sure, King. Alexander only needs one chance for a hold like this to take most people out. Even though this hold is blatantly illegal, it lets Alexander do some severe damage before the ref forces him to break it.”


It will remain a perpetual testimony to the sheer fortitude of Va'aiga that he was able to remain upright mostly under his own power. Brock Samson snarls out a count after ordering Alexander to break the illegal hold. Alexander holds on for dear life as the count starts.







Alexander breaks just before the five-count is finished, and the Maori staggers away from the corner, his right leg wobbling beneath him. The Evil Genius rolls back into the ring and quickly gets back to his feet.


“And, as usual, Michael Alexander just avoids disqualification in an effort to hurt his opponent. That kind of thing is just uncalled for, King.”


“Please, Francis, this is a World Title match. Nothing is uncalled for. You don't hold back when the big gold is on the line, especially when you're in front of your hometown!”


Va'aiga comes after him with his normal reckless abandon, heedless of any damage done. However, the tender attentions of the Mad Scientist have slowed the Maori down enough to give Michael Alexander a bit of an advantage. Moving with the smooth grace of natural talent and continuous practice, the Evil Genius snags the right arm of his oncoming opponent, twisting it into a standing arm bar. The Maori groans and tries to power his way out of it, but Michael Alexander methodically wrenches the arm to force him into compliance.


“Alexander going back to his basics on the big man. I'm not sure getting this close to Va'aiga is a good idea, King. The big man is still in this match, and he's got a big size and power advantage.”


“Look, Francis, Va'aiga is on his knees and Alexander is in control. I think that makes this a good idea!”


Unfortunately for Alexander, compliance is not exactly one of the Islander's strong suits. The big man reaches for Alexander's grip on his wrist with his left hand, struggling stubbornly through the pain of the classic hold. More than a little disheartened by this, the Mad Scientist takes a different tack, snapping off a couple of crisp kicks to the Maori's right leg, the subject of his recent attention. The leg buckles despite the angry snarl of the Pacifican, dropping him to one knee and giving Alexander some extra leverage on the arm bar. Surprisingly, at least to Michael, this does not stop the monstrous Maori's struggles. As a matter of fact, it seems to have lit a fire under the big man, who tries to surge back up and toss Alexander away like a sack of rotten fruit! Another wrench of the arm slows the Maori just enough for Alexander to initiate a surge of his own, leaping up to deliver his patented heel-kick enzuigiri to the annoyed Maori! Alexander rolls smoothly back to his feet, smiling...only to gaze into the countenance of a furious Va'aiga, who has not been so much staggered by the assault on his cranium as energized by it!


“Uh-oh! Michael Alexander seems to have gotten the Maori's dander up! It's about to get ugly, King!”


“Va'aiga starts out ugly, Francis. I know it's tough for Michael to adjust to Va'aiga; he's used to dealing with people whose heads are more than hatracks or blunt instruments.”


The maddened Maori drives a startingly fast left jab into the Evil Genius' jaw, stagger him! Unfortunately for Michael Alexander, that's merely the tip of the iceberg he just walked into, as the Maori fires off a second left jab, rocking the Mad Scientist like a headline heavy metal concert! A third left jab leaves little doubt as to what's coming, and Va'aiga puts an exclamation point on the scene with a “BOO-YAH!” and a thunderous right hook that flattens Alexander like a cheap pancake.




“Va'aiga is pummeling Alexander now. The Champion is at his best here; that BOO-YAH was not a good sign for the so-called Evil Genius, King.”


“No need to mock your betters, Francis. Sure, the Maori has gotten to turn this into another brawl, but Michael Alexander won't let it last long.”


Va'aiga stumbles a little after the hook, and takes a moment to regain his balance as Alexander tries to regain his senses. The big Islander stalks around behind his opponent, and as Michael reaches his feet he finds himself snagged in a rear waistlock. It's very likely that, even in his befuddled, post- “BOO-YAH” combination state, Michael Alexander's lightning-quick analytical mind recognized the situation he was in, and formulated any number of devastating and effective countermeasures. Unfortunately, his body was not in any shape to perform any of them at that moment, leaving him to suffer the indignity of being German suplexed by the Maori Badass.




“Rolling Suplexes! Va'aiga is definitely on a roll now, King!”


“Punning doesn't make you any less ridiculous, Francis. So the Maori is getting in a few shots. Michael Alexander is still walking out with that belt, and the SWF will still be saved!”


That indignity is compounded further as the Pacifican rolls him over with the rear waistlock and muscles him into a full nelson grip, relishing the situation for a moment before whipping the Evil Genius back to the mat with a dragon suplex!




The calumny starts into geometric progression as Va'aiga hauls Alexander back up using the full nelson, then shifts his grip to a half-nelson cross-arm choke, and flips the smaller man onto his head with the Swiss suplex! Alexander flops limply to the mat. The Maori nods to himself as he rolls Alexander over and goes for the pin!









“One count away, King! Va'aiga is seriously dominating this match now. There's only so many headdrops that Alexander can take.”


“Th-that's just stupid, Francis. Va'aiga is just delaying the inevitable.”


The Maori and the referee both looks surprised as Michael Alexander manages to slip his shoulder off the mat by the merest of margins. Va'aiga grabs Alexander's head and begins pounding his cranium into the mat, only stopping when Alexander flops into the ropes and Brock Samson orders the break. The Maori clambers back to his feet, still favoring his right leg more than a little. Alexander is slow to even roll himself over.




“Is Alexander even in this match now, King? He is barely able to get back up.”


“He's in it, Francis! Va'aiga can't fight history and destiny! Come on, Michael!”


The big Islander begins stalking Alexander as the Mad Scientist pulls himself back to his feet. Just as Alexander gets up and turns toward the Maori, Va'aiga charges him, sending the smaller man up and over with his spear tackle! Alexander lands on his head and shoulders behind the Badass, but to his credit still stubbornly remains conscious. Va'aiga shakes his right arm and flexes his shoulder, still feeling a little of the earlier work Alexander did on his arm, and obviously noting that using that shoulder in his spear tackle did not help matters. This of course does not hamper his ability to once again throw up the shaka sign and shout, “BOO-YAH!” The crowd responds at least partly in kind.




“See, Francis? Va'aiga is still suffering from Alexander's attacks. The blood is in the water.”


“Then why is that desperate edge in your voice, King?”


Michael Alexander is still lying on the mat when Va'aiga approaches him. The monstrous Maori pulls him up and forces the still staggered South Carolinian into a standing headscissors and smiles to the crowd, pointing toward the outside of the ring. The Pacifican powerhouse then hoists Alexander up onto his shoulders and into position for a powerbomb! The big man then heads for the ropes, intending to toss his hapless opponent over the top rope. Alexander desperately fires a series of punches at Va'aiga's head, but that works about as well as you might expect. Va'aiga falters a little, but keeps heading for the ropes with Alexander poised for the powerbomb. Alexander then resorts to a different tactic. He grabs one of the fingers on Va'aiga's left hand, twisting it. The Maori loses his grip on Alexander for the merest of moments as he gets to the ropes...and that is just enough. Alexander rolls to his left, flinging his right leg quickly over Va'aiga's head and using his legs to scissor Va'aiga's right arm, pulling it quickly into a version of the flying armbar! This maneuver coupled with the two wrestler's position leaves Alexander hanging outside the ring clutching Va'aiga's right arm in the jujigatame, with all of Alexander's weight pulling Va'aiga's armpit down across the top rope, putting even more pressure on the shoulder!






“Good God! Again Michael Alexander pulls an incredible save! And he's pulling Va'aiga's arm out of its socket with that flying armbar!”


“That's right, Francis! That's why you never count a guy like Michael Alexander out. No matter what, he's always able to pull out something that nobody could even conceive of, let alone do!”


The Maori roars in pain and anger. Alexander holds on and wrenches the armbar as much as he can. This also has the not-to-be-discounted benefit of keeping him from plummeting to the floor as Va'aiga had obviously intended. Fortunately for the Pacifican powerhouse, the hold in ridiculously illegal and Brock Samson snarls at Alexander to break the hold as he starts the count.










Alexander reluctantly breaks the hold rather than risk a disqualification. Luckily he manages to avoid plummeting to the floor by grabbing the ropes as he releases the Va'aiga's arm. Still more than a little rattled by the Maori's assault, the Evil Genius hangs on the the apron, catching his breath and trying to recover his bearings. As Alexander is technically outside the ring, Brock Samson starts his count.










Va'aiga, for his part, staggers away from the ropes, cradling his right arm with a grimace of pain and fury. Turning back to his opponent, the big Islander stomps back over to try and drag him back into the ring. Alexander slumps against the ropes wearily, and the angry Maori reaches for him...but it seems that Alexander was playing possum, as he grabs Va'aiga's right wrist and drops form the apron, snapping the Maori's shoulder across the top rope!




“Ha! Again, the Maori puts himself right where Michael Alexander wants him, Francis! If this were a chess game, we'd be saying 'checkmate' right now!”


“Not so fast, King. We both know how quick the momentum can shift in the ring. I have to admit that Va'aiga let his enthusiasm get the better of him there.”


Michael Alexander grins wickedly as he rolls back into the ring, but it is clear that he's not moving as quickly or as smoothly as he normally could. Va'aiga staggers back from the ropes, again forced to cradle his right arm as he howls in pain. Michael charges after Va'aiga, this time shifting gears to deliver a nasty chopblock right to the injured Maori's right knee! The big man goes down hard, taking most of the impact on his right shoulder due to the angle of Alexander's perfectly angled chopblock on his knee. Va'aiga has only a moment to gasp at the pain before Alexander begins stomping methodically on the Maori's right arm, working his way from the shoulder down to the hand, ending with a truly vicious stomp onto Va'aiga's fingers for that little extra. The Greenville fans count along:














“That arm is going to be a liability now, King, and he's already worked over that leg. Alexander is trying to put a damper on that lariat, I think.”


“Of course he is! That's how a tactical wrestler works. You take away your opponent's strengths. This would a lot more satisfying if Va'aiga could understand what was happening.”


Va'aiga snarls as he snatches his hand away from the vicious attention of Michael Alexander. The big Maori rolls away and struggles back to his feet. Va'aiga has just made it to his feet when Michael Alexander delivers a spinning back kick to the big man's ample midsection, doubling the injured Islander over. Alexander bounces off the nearby ropes and charges, cracking Va'aiga's conveniently placed jaw with a running knee lift! The Maori staggers away, a little stunned but still standing.


“And Alexander hits with a knee lift, but the Maori is still up, King!”


“Va'aiga never really knows when to give it up, Francis. No surprise there.”


Michael Alexander, looking a little flummoxed at Va'aiga's continual, stubborn uprightness, grabs Va'aiga's right arm, twisting it into a standing arm wringer. The big man growls and starts to power out of the the basic hold. Alexander snaps a quick knee into the Maori's gut, doubling the big man over once again. The Mad Scientist throws his right leg over Va'aiga's right shoulder, then leaps up, putting his body's entire weight on the Maori's shoulder, driving the Pacifican and his injured shoulder into the mat while keeping the arm bar scissored. Before the maddened Maori can surge up to avenge this iniquity, the Evil Genius then traps his opponent's right arm in an inverted shortarm scissors!




“The Mad Scientist of the Mat strikes again, Francis! I don't know what to call that, but I know I like it!”


“Michael is really throwing everything he's got at the Maori, King. I don't know how Va'aiga is going to be able to deal with this kind of thing. The Maori is a bit out of his element.”


The monstrous Maori roars like a crippled lion as the Mad Scientist begins to rock back and forth, exerting terrible pressure on Va'aiga's shoulder and arm. Alexander screams to the ref to ask the Maori. Brock Samson growls the question, and the Maori spits out a decisive negative, followed by an expletive of equal decisiveness. Alexander excoriates the big man as he wrenches the hold. The Badass pushes himself up to his hands and knees. Michael Alexander tries to force the big man back down, but Va'aiga forces the Evil Genius over onto his back, putting Alexander's shoulders on the mat! Brock Samson, who had been watching for the big man's tapout, now begins to count the Evil Genius down!










“The Maori with a surprisingly technical counter to the hold. He was this close to holding Alexander down for a three count!”


“It was surprising, Francis, I'll give you that. I find it surprising when that big lug doesn't trip over his knuckles. I don't think you can call rolling over a 'technical counter,' though.”


Alexander wrenches the hold violently and rolls his shoulder up, forcing the big man back down onto his belly and left elbow from the sheer angular force on his right shoulder. The Pacifican powerhouse howls in frustration and pain, but miraculously he begins to drive himself back up...first to his knees, then to his feet, remaining hunched over. Even the audience gasps as Va'aiga uses his pinioned arm and shoulder to lift his surprised opponent up off the mat, perching Alexander perilously on his shoulder. The Evil Genius has a completely flabbergasted look on his normally arrogant mug as the Maori fights through the agony of the modified shortarm scissor to smash Alexander to the mat with a diving powerbomb! The audience mostly boos and chants for the hometown boy, but a strong undercurent of support for the hyperdetermined Maori, whose mettle has impressed even the biased Greenvillians.








“HOLY CRAP! Va'aiga just powerbombed his way out of that hold! What a counter! I can only imagine the pain he had to deal with to do this!”


“That Maori just doesn't know when to quit! He could have pulled his arm out of its socket doing that! And now where does that leave him? He's still hurt!”


Both men are lie on the mat, gasping for breath either from sheer agony like Va'aiga or from having all the breath After a moment, Brock Samson starts to count both men down.














The two grapplers each struggle to their feet. Va'aiga's right arm seems to be only barely servicable. Michael Alexander shakes his head, stumbling a little from the powerbomb's aggravation of the earlier punches and headdrops by the Maori Badass. Alexander tries to fire off a punch at his opponent's head, but even an injured Va'aiga is still a natural brawler, blocking the blow with ease, then driving a headbutt into Alexander's inflated cranium. The Evil Genius, being struck with the problems of trading punches with even an injured Badass, shifts his attention to Va'aiga's right leg, peppering it with a series of nasty kicks! The Maori stumbles, momentarily dropping to one knee. Alexander then hits the ropes and rebounds, going for a flying forearm to take down the Maori...but Va'aiga surges back to his feet in a flood of angry adrenaline to catch Alexander in a lateral press! The big Islander stumbles with his opponent's weight and his right arm shows signs of weakness. However, he only has to hoist Alexander up and drop him down with a brutal Maori Drop near the corner!








“Wow! I thought Michael was going to take over again, but the Maori Badass reasserted himself with some authority! He squashed Alexander with that Maori Drop, King!”


“Come on, Michael! You can't let this buffoon continue to drag the SWF down the toilet!”


Michael Alexander sprawls lifelessly on the mat. Va'aiga clambers back to his feet and looks at the corner, then throws the shaka sign, only grimacing slightly as he bellows, “BOO-YAH!” Some of the audience follow suit, and the Maori slowly ascends the turnbuckles. Alexander still lies on the mat, exactly where Va'aiga planted him. Howling, Va'aiga leaps down with the P.O.P., pumping his legs to fling himself down onto his hapless opponent!


But Alexander rolls with amazing alacrity toward the turnbuckle and out of Va'aiga's path! The big man can do nothing but crash to the canvas, grunting with the impact. The Maori curls up, cradling his right arm, his shoulder rattled by his unceremonious encounter with the mat.








“YES! Alexander's still in this, Francis! And the Maori just got a face full of canvas!”


“Alexander narrowly avoided that P.O.P., King, but he's still taken a severe beating. I don't know if he can come back at this point!”


In an unspeakable display of raw vitality, the big man gets back to his feet before Alexander. He staggers against the ropes, using them to support his weight. Michael Alexander also uses the ropes, slowly clambering back to his feet. Seeing Va'aiga teetering, Alexander begins to stagger toward the Maori. As Alexander approaches, the Maori Badass springs off the ropes with an burst of speed that he manifests for only one purpose...the head-taking, victory-making, earth-shaking...



But Alexander rolls backward and down as the Pacifican powerhouse charges, dropping beneath the rampaging Maori, scissoring Va'aiga's right leg and catching his ankle...! The Islander has no choice but to fall right into the Gordian Knot! Alexander wrenches at the hold like a man possessed, knowing that this is quite possibly his last chance.










“I love it! The Maori bungled his way into the Gordian Knot by going for that lariat! Alexander had him scouted and now Va'aiga is learning why he lost this match before it started!”


“It does look bad for Va'aiga now, King, but he's been able to fight his way out before! Don't count him out just yet.”


“I don't want to count him out yet, Francis; I want him to suffer a bit more first!”


The Maori howls as his leg is stretched at a sickening angle. He tries to reach for the ropes, but they're too far. His own charge has left him sprawled in the middle of the ring. He struggles to haul himself closer to the ropes, but even as he raises himself up, Michael Alexander puts even more pressure on his right leg, and even the Maori's raw-boned vigor is not enough to allow him to force his beleaguered form to injure itself further. He drops back to the mat. Once again, he struggles toward the ropes, and Michael Alexander desperately responds...with nary an inch gained toward salvation. A ball of rage builds in the Maori Badass, as the realization dawns that he can't escape. Slowly, the ball of rage is drowned in a flood of gall as he comes to the only decision he can reach. However, the inevitability makes it no easier for Va'aiga to do what must be done...




“Va'aiga tapped out! I can't believe it! King, we've got a new champion!”


“We had a new champion as soon as this match was made, Francis, but it is satisfying to finally see things back the way they should be.”


Referee Brock Samson calls for the bell...




Alexander slumps back, releasing the Gordian Knot, and Va'aiga rolls away. Both men struggle to their feet again and stare at each other. Brock Samson brings up the belt and hands it to Michael Alexander, who stares at it. Va'aiga glares at them both as Samson somewhat reluctantly raises Michael Alexander's hand to his hometown crowd.




“The big Maori gave everything he had and then some, but Michael Alexander pushed himself to his limits here. I think it could have gone either way, but Alexander's tactical approach managed to weaken the big man just enough to get the win.”


“Francis, stop sounding so surprised. Michael Alexander was the better wrestler, and he won the match by wrestling. When it came down to it, Va'aiga just wasn't able to turn this into the brawl he needed to win.”


Alexander raises the title over his head turning to every side of the Bi-Lo Center as the crowd roars. Va'aiga favors his leg still, and he leaves the ring as Michael Alexander basks in the adulation of his hometown crowd as we...







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I thought that was the best match I wrote up since getting here. I had my music going, I was all "inspired" and stuff but Taiga pulled off the better match. Here's my work:



The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWF World Cruiserweight Championship! Introducing first to the ring representing the DVS he hails from Brooklyn, New York


“DON’T YOU WISH YOU WERE ME!?” is heard screaming on the loud speakers


Don’t You Wish You Were Me? By Fozzy starts up



Weighing in at two hundred and thirty five pounds he is tonight’s challenger, SPYKE!


Spyke steps out on the stage area with his hands in the air as the crowd boos him. He smiles and blows the fans in the arena but as he extends his hand he flips them off as he makes his way down the ramp with a cocky walk as if to say he is better than everyone in attendance tonight.


Mak Francis

Total un-professionalism by Spyke as usual.


Ignoring the few fans who do reach out to him he makes his way up the ring steps and pauses to look back at all the fans before he enters through the middle ropes he takes to the second rope and slaps his chest twice, pointing to the crowd and letting his finger pan around the arena before pointing up to the sky once and stepping down as his music dies down.



And weighing in at one hundred and none of your DAMN business, She is the SWF World Cruiserweight Champion, TAIGA STAR!


Be a Man by Hole starts up as Ultraviolet laser lights pointing from the entrance through the arena pan the arena. Taiga walks down the ramp with the cruiserweight championship in her hand, slapping hands with the fans, some waving, nothing fancy. She rolls in under the bottom rope after tossing the title over the top rope, and pops up with it in her hand turning so all the fans can see it. Spyke scoffs and looks at her as if he’s unimpressed. Her music dies down and the referee takes her title and raises it above his head before passing it outside to the time keeper. Spyke doesn’t remove his shirt as he normally does as the referee signals for the bell and steps back.


Suicide King

The official first match between Spyke and Taiga, no DVS beat down, no tag team partners. Just a straight up one on one match for the coveted SWF cruiserweight championship.


Spyke dashes forward to Taiga who stays on the offensive and dashes towards him. Spyke stops in mid dash and goes to slap Taiga in the face but she moves her face back and he misses. The two start circling around the ring in a stalking motion as Spyke goes for another disrespectful slap to the face with Taiga slapping his hand away and going in for the grapple but Spyke picks his foot up and kicks her back leaving the crowd to boo at him as an infuriated Taiga pissed off at the fact that he placed his foot on her stomach and kicked her back like she was unworthy gives chase.


Mak Francis

Spyke seems like he’s toying with Taiga but he better than anyone should know you don’t want to make Taiga angry in the ring. It’s best to take your whooping and call it a night!


Suicide King

Are you saying Spyke would possibly lose to a girl!?


Mak Francis

Well she did pin him at Prelude To Grander


Suicide King

Yes but that was all Jenkins fault. AS far as it counts in my book, Spyke is still undefeated!


Spyke hooks Taiga and takes her down with an arm drag, She rolls right back up and as he goes to follow up with a clothesline she retaliates by taking him down with an arm drag.


Suicide King



Mak Francis



She goes to follow up with an elbow drop but misses as Spyke rolls out of the way and does a kip up. Spyke goes to Stomp on Taiga but as he raises up his right foot she hooks his left foot and pulls him off balance, causing him to fall on his back. She mocks him by rolling away popping up and shouting “That’s how you do it!”


Spyke quickly scrambles up to his feet but is tackled right back down to the mat by Taiga who begins beating him down with a series of left and right closed fists as Spyke covers up for protection. The referee dashes in and tells Tagia that this isn’t the UFC and she needs to break the hold but she doesn’t break the offensive mounted position













Taiga gets off of Spyke and yells “Okay! I heard you” to the referee before adjusting her attire and going back on the offensive by tearing off Spyke’s shirt from his body and tossing it outside the ring. She turns back and pulls him off the mat and back up to his feet. While struggling to lift his body, The self proclaimed greatest of DVS places his hand around the back of her neck and drops to his knees.


Mak Francis

Jaw breaker by Spyke!


Taiga just releases him and steps back two feet before shaking it off like it was a weak slap to the face. She pulls back her right fist as if power was gathering into the fist as Spyke gets back up to go for his patented punch combo but to his surprise Taiga is already swinging to pop him in the lip. She connects with a shot that sends him falling back to the mat but just as quickly he pops back up as she goes to follow up with another hard hook from the left hand this time, Spyke shakes if off but is planted with another punch and hits the mat again. He pounds the mat and pops back up as the crowd gets behind Taiga who seriously pulls back for what looks like its going to be a knock out blow. She swings but this time expecting the punch Spyke blocks her right hand with his left hand. Not fazed by his speed in blocking she follows up with a left to take him down at the same speed he blocked with but he slaps her left hand away with his right hand and in that same instant his whole body moves with his right hand as if the momentum was pulling him and he delivers a corkscrew enziguri to the temple of Taiga’s head causing her to drop to her knees and fall face forward to the mat.


Suicide King



Mak Francis

I heard this kid was cocky and we’ve seen that, I heard he was methodical in the ring and we’ve seen that, I’ve heard this kid was fast but Holy hell.....that...that just put The Flash to shame!


Biased and mixed reactions fill the arena mostly consisting of boos with chants for Taiga to get back up. Spyke crawls to the ropes to catch his breath and pull himself up as she makes her way up to all fours and shakes off the cobwebs as she did before with the jaw breaker. Spyke starts to push off from the corner ropes as she makes her way back up to her feet. Their eyes lock up and realizing he has the upper hand they go into a quick grapple for power but Taiga begins over powering him. The crowd cheers as he looks down to the mat to realize he’s sliding back as she powers him to the corner without his feet actually leaving the mat


Mak Francis

HA! Look at that!


Being the counter veteran he is Spykes allows himself to be pushed back to the corner where he leaps into the air and lands on the middle ropes. Gripping Taiga tightly he swings around in what looks to be the hugest twisting monkey flip possibly in SWF history but Taiga doesn’t sell the offensive maneuver. Instead she stands her ground and Spykes lands on her knee caps. In what is the most unique balancing act seen in the ring in years Spykes now finds Taiga holding onto him as tightly as he was to her.


Suicide King

Look at the strength of Taiga here tonight, It’s almost frightening


He remains with not much to do offensively as she slowly carries him over to the ropes and releases her grip on him, letting Spykes eventually lose his strength and fall over the top rope. Hooking the top rope before going completely over he manages to “skin the cat” ala Shawn Michaels. He lets go and dusts off his hands before smiling for the crowd and bowing only to turn back around to be greeted by Taiga’s two feet as she delivers a baseball slide to his chest causing him to fall back as she exits the ring with the momentum from the slide. Picking up Spykes before he can regain his composure she traps his arms in a hold and looks to the fans for approval as the ref runs over and tells her to stop as he begins a quick count that she basically uses to repeatedly headbutt Spykes


Referee and crowd






SIX .......





Taiga leaps into the air while still keeping Spykes arms trapped and places her knees to his chest, using her weight to fall back.


Mak Francis



The ref tells Taiga to get back in now and she rolls in the ring as the referee continues the count up to about fifteen before she rolls back out. The crowd shows slight disapproval that Taiga didn’t just leave him to be counted out but applaud her sportsmanship and need to want to beat on Spyke some more. With the count reset she pulls Spyke up off the floor and drags him back to the ring apron where she slides him into the ring and follows behind him by rolling back in. Quickly taking Spyke by the legs as he lays in the ring coughing and gasping to catch his breath after having the air driven out of his chest. Taiga starts dragging Spyke in a circular motion, slowly lifting him off the mat for a big swing as the crowd watches on amused and amazed that she could get him off the mat. Spyke places his hands behind his head for protection as Taiga lets him go and staggers back into the ropes for protection as Spyke flies several feet across the ring.


Taiga catches her composure before continuing on the offensive by going after Spyke. She grabs him by the right leg and drags him back to the center of the ring before hollering for the fans approval. The get behind her with their chants and she nods as if to tell them good job before. With the Spyke still on his back, Taiga stands beside him and sits with her leg over and between Spyke’s legs she then places his far leg in the knee pit of the near leg.


Mak Francis

Uh Oh....I think I know what’s coming up


Finishing the submission hold she puts Spyke’s ankle on top of her own ankle and rolling herself along with him onto their bellies she pushes back with the Spykes ankle.


Suicide King

Taiga with the very tactical inverted Indian death lock.


The referee slides into position and checks on Spyke to see if he’ll tap. Spyke refuses and lurches upward to pound on Taiga’s leg in order to break the hold but she doesn’t let up as he falls back flat on the mat.






Spyke pops back up realizing his shoulders had hit the mat. The referee signals it was only a two count as Spyke writhes in pain.


Mak Francis

Very smart tactic by Taiga. It’s rare to have a cruiserweight champion who doesn’t take to the top rope but we have one here in Taiga and she’s using that fact to her advantage.


Suicide King

Yeah everyone knows you have to take out the legs of a high flyer but Spyke seems to be more of an all around superstar. He adapts to his opponents styles in the end he uses it to win week after week.


Mak Francis

That may be true but apparently that tactic didn’t work in his tag match with Taiga, be it the fact that these two have history and know each others strategy in the ring or as Spyke says it was just a fluke, only time will tell.


Taiga smirks and breaks the hold leaving Spyke gripping his leg on the mat. She wipes some sweat from her face and catches her breath before stomping on the leg of Spyke who tries to crawl away. You can hear him scream through the roar of the crowd in pain as the punishment seems to fuels Taiga. She picks up and watches him stand on one leg as he keeps the other one slightly off the mat. She kicks him in the shin and he pulls his leg up in pain. She follows up with a punch to the face that makes him put pressure on the leg as he staggers back. Almost falling down she follows up with a double ended chop to the chest that leaves Spyke open. A triple combination of right jabs to the face and a dash to the ropes for what looks to be a huge clothesline in works. Taiga rebounds and comes charging as Spyke who’s eyes are closed as he tries to force himself from yelling in pain. She raises the left arm and taps it as if to activate some unforeseen power but Spyke playing the sacrificial lamb shifts his body sideways and opens his eyes just in time for his glare to meet her stare of ruthless aggression and he super kicks her right in the jaw with such force that he falls back clenching his foot while rolling around as she falls back like she’s just been knocked out.


Suicide King

I’ve said it before but it’s moment like this right now that will make Spyke take over the SWF in no time!


Mak Francis

Oh yeah? Is that why you’ve been kissing his ass since he arrived?


Suicide King

I know you are not pointing fingers. You back any superstar going against Spyke and when they lose you end up looking like a fool. I’m just betting smart. You don’t go to the dog track and put your money on the greyhound that’s lost just about every race for the season


Mak Francis

What does that have to even do with WRESTLING!? Taiga is the current cruiserweight champion. She has a take no prisoners attitude and has proven time and time again she can “play with the big boys”


Before the referee can check on Taiga to see if she is actually out cold she starts grabbing at air before placing her hands over her face. He shifts over to Spyke who is on all fours as his tapping his leg as if trying to shake out the numbing sensation. Stepping back as Spyke tells him he’s able to continue the ref watches as Taiga slowly begins to roll over to her stomach and sits up. Spyke on the other end of the ring starts holding onto the ropes and turnbuckle padding to pull himself up. The two get up at the same time and Tagia shakes her head and pulls her hair back as she slowly walks towards Spyke. DVS’s self proclaimed greatest limps towards Taiga and the two meet face to face in the ring. They have a momentary stare down that leads to Taiga screaming at Spyke.


Mak Francis

Uh Oh, looks like a verbal spat is brewing


Feeling insulted he begins to yell back but Taiga get up into his face and yells even louder. Spyke looks away in shame but remembers actions speaks louder than words and slaps Taiga clear across the face. Taiga stops yelling and without pause slaps Spyke right back across his face. The two look at each other and smack each other at the same time. Spyke smacks Taiga right back in the face. Taiga retaliates with a slap of her own, Spyke with another slap across the face, Taiga with an even harder slap. A series of hard slaps are just being traded with each of Taiga’s blows getting harder and harder, realizing he can’t match her; Spyke slaps Taiga and before she can slap him back he spins and hits her with a spinning wheel kick to the face. Spyke watches Taiga as she falls back like before. The crowd can simply utter a deafening mass of “OOOOOOOOOH” through the arena as Spyke kisses his middle and index fingers while putting his hands into the gun taunt and delivering a grounded shooting star press on Taiga. The referee dashes over both bodies as Spyke hooks the leg.








Taiga gets the shoulder up and Spyke breaks the pin as though he knew he wasnt getting the three count anyway. He gets back up and looks into her eyes before ripping his du rag off his head and twirling it around in the air before tossing it down at her as if to say “Beat That.... Bitch!” Taiga just rolls back on all fours and starts pounding the mat out of frustration. Spyke takes the opportunity as she get back to her knees to bounce of the rope and go for the Royal Deliverance but Taiga catches the right leg. Spyke hops on one leg and goes to deliver an enziguri but Taiga lets go of the right leg and blocks the right shin. Spyke lands on his right leg and kicks again but Taiga blocks, he goes for another quick follow up attempt with the left leg once more but Taiga catches the leg and takes him down with a Dragon screw. She goes to mount him but he swings at her face, she ducks the punch and he follows up with a grounded enziguri to catch her off guard but she dodges that as well by ducking once more and breaking from the mounted attempt. Spyke sits up but Taiga kicks him with a stiff boot to the chest that sends him down to the mat. She goes to follow up with a stomp but he rolls out of the way. A bit dazed by the speed she follows up with a direct punch to the skull as he kicks her in the BUTT from behind. Her fist hits the mat and she staggers forward as Spyke does a weak kip up and turns to face her.


Mak Francis



Suicide King



Taiga turns to face a fist to the face that she smacks out the way, Spyke follows up with a left hook but Taiga smacks that as well. He swings with another right but this time she dodges it. Spyke insistent on hitting the punch swings on what would be his last offensive attack as Taiga has had enough and straight up headbutts him on his chin. Spyke stumbles back, tripping over the weak leg into the corner where Taiga follows up an punches him in the face causing him to pop down into the seated position where she just wails on him with several repeated punches as the referee rushes over to break up the corner assault. Taiga ignores him as the crowd gets behind her ruthlessness and begins to stomp away until the referee starts the count.








Taiga breaks away from the corner pounding on her own chest and yelling as the crowd gets to their feet in support of her offense. She takes off to the opposite ropes and rebounds off the ropes and charges at Spyke to deliver a face wash with the bottom of her boot. As Spyke almost falls back motionless Taiga grabs him up by the head and pulls him out the corner. Dragging him to the center of the ring she keeps his head between her legs and signals for the classic pliedriver. She hooks him by the waist and goes to lift him but Spyke forces his body into sit up position causing Taiga to raise him higher than she expected. She has him in a powerbomb position that drives the crowd crazy as she starts stumbling towards the ropes


Mak Francis

OH MY G....I Think she’s going for an Awesome Bomb!


Suicide King

Almost jumping out of his seat.



Spyke hooks the top rope and hurricanrannas Taiga over the top rope to the outside. She flies into the barricade and lands on her feet. Flipping back into the ring Spyke looks out to Taiga and runs to the opposite ropes as the fans around her all reach out to tap her on the shoulder and on the back. She turns around to see Spyke charging back at her at minimal speed, somewhat slowed down by the leg damage delivered earlier. Spyke leaps over the rope but hooks onto the top rope once again as Taiga steps out of the way and points at her head as if to say she was to smart and fast for him. The crowd screams for her as she turns and notices Spyke isn’t curled up in pain and being beaten by the fans on the barricade. She quickly looks to the apron to see Spyke waiting for her with his middle and index fingers pointed at her, thumb extended in the gun taunt position as he motions to fire off an imaginary shot at her before taking two steps forward and leaping at her to deliver a hurricanranna that sends her skidding across the padded floor.


Mak Francis



Out of hatred for Spyke but respect for the business the fans let out an series “SWF” chants in succession as a quick double feature is shown on screen and a replay of hurricanranna to the outside and the follow up are shown. The screen cuts away as the referee has already begun his count out as Spyke is on all fours favoring his leg and catching his breath.








Taiga is left on the mat laid out looking at the fans screaming at her to get up. Getting distracted by the lights she tries to grab at them for a brief moment before rolling over.






Spyke crawls over to the ring steps and uses it to pull himself up. Looking around he spots the World Cruiserweight championship in the time keepers lap and shakes his head as if to free it from distractions. Before rolling into the ring as the referee continues to count out Taiga.








Realizing he cant win the championship by count out, Spyke rolls back out to Taiga and picks her up. She just stands there groggy as Spyke mocks her dazed stance and goes over to the commentary table where he snatches a bottle of water that Mak was using to soothe his throat during the yelling.


Mak Francis



Spyke motions to slap Mak with the back of his hand and Francis covers up as Spyke laughs at him and unscrews the top of the bottle while walking away from him. He pours some water all over his face, chugs some and tosses the bottle at the back of Taiga’s head. She turns around and he spits water in her face before smashing her face against the barricade and tossing her back into the ring. Taiga rolls all the way to the middle of the ring and pops back up on the offensive as an unaware Spyke rolls in after her. Spyke gets to his feet only to be faced with Taiga who kicks Spyke in the groin after the ref notices Spyke’s du rag was still sitting on the mat and takes his attention off the match to kick it out of the ring. The ref turns back in time to see Taiga shift and take position behind a prone Spyke. She under hooks her arms under Spyke's arms. Twisting her body around so that Spyke is facing the ground with his back resting against her back. She stands up straight and hoists Spyke into an upside down position.


Mak Francis

........serves him right........


Suicide King



Spyke starts flailing around causing strain on Taiga’s arms. He rolls off her back and with his heads once again between her legs he raises her into the Electric Chair position. Taiga flails around on his shoulders but rather than slamming her face first he ducks his head and shoves her off his shoulders. Taiga lands on her feet but with Spyke now behind her he puts one arm between the legs, the other arm on the shoulders he flips the cruiserweight champion upside down and plants her on his head. Taiga pops up and falls back as if she has no more to give, Spyke shows no hesitation as he crawls on top of her, sitting on her chest he hooks both of her legs as the referee slides into position


Mak Francis



Suicide King










The referee signals for the bell as the crowd erupts in a “THIS IS BULLSHIT” chant. Spyke unhooks the legs and falls back. Rolling off Taiga he gets on all fours as the referee runs to the side and gets the Cruiserweight championship.





“Don’t You Wish You Were Me” starts up and the name of the theme couldn’t be anymore appropriate as the referee hands the championship over to Spyke and raises his hand. Spyke looks at the SWF cruiserweight championship in his hands for the first time ever and clings to the referee as he uses him for leverage to stand up. With the match finally over Spyke starts favoring his leg again as he limps around with the championship held high over his head. The crowds boos just continue to get even louder as Spyke clenches the title. As the referee goes to check on Taiga, Spyke stops him and demands that the belt be placed on him. The reluctant referee gets up and hooks the belt around Spykes waist to get him out of the ring but Spyke continues to show his arrogance by placing his foot on the chest of Taiga, posing for several seconds before finally exiting the ring and heading to the back.



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It's interesting to compare my match with Alexander's, because we dealt with TMSOTM's home support totally differently. I had Da Maori heel it up more, Alexander had both wrestlers play their normal roles but with totally opposite crowd resposes to normal. So mine was more Joe/Booker in Houston, Alexander's was more heel Bret wrestling in Canada. All it needed was Mak saying "This is Biazzroland!"


I look forward to facing you again, sir!

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It's interesting to compare my match with Alexander's, because we dealt with TMSOTM's home support totally differently. I had Da Maori heel it up more, Alexander had both wrestlers play their normal roles but with totally opposite crowd resposes to normal. So mine was more Joe/Booker in Houston, Alexander's was more heel Bret wrestling in Canada. All it needed was Mak saying "This is Biazzroland!"


I look forward to facing you again, sir!


That's exactly the effect I was going for. I consider that high praise.

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