HD: Bo vs. Lucius/CI promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

So, this should go right at the top of the show after Coach and Cole insult each other and/or admit to embarrassing facts and events that have happened in their personal lives.

 

 

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

The never tedious Double C pre-ample is finally cut into, "Liberate" by Disturbed powering through the arena bringing the crowd to their feet.

COLE
And what a way to kick off HeldDOWN~!, with The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth!!

Amped up, Bohemoth marches to the ring as many hands reach out to pat him on the back.


*DINGDING!*

BUFFER
The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER" BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOTTTHHHHHHH!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Bo jogs up the ring steps and into the ring, flexing his freakishly huge muscles on the second rope. The crowd continue to go wild as he hits the big pose for the other side of the arena as well, clearly feeling it tonight.

COLE
Bohemoth coming off a real war at Zero Hour in the Boiler Room Brawl. But, it's safe to say that both Christian and CPA crashed harder than the US economy at the hands of the bigman!

COACH
Why you gotta joke about that, huh? I lost $8.25 mill just last week and you out here playing the funny man?

COLE
I... I didn't know.

COACH
Yeah, well, you do now.

As Bohemoth paces in the middle of the ring, the mood changes as the drums begin to roll. And to the surely infringing on copyrights by being played on an OAOAST show sounds of "Jive Soul Bro" struts Sweetness himself, Lucius Soul. Combing at his beloved afro Soul wears a big smile on his face as he stops halfway down the aisle, breaking out into some jive soul dancing before re-tending to his 'fro. Behind him, a more serious Rico de Janeiro backs him up, stroking his 70's 'stache to two young ladies in the aisle.

BUFFER
And his opponent. Representing The Mardi Gras HomeWrecking Crew... he hails from New Orleans, Lousiana. Weighing one hundred, eighty eight pounds... "SWEET" LLLUUUUUUUCCIIIIIIUUUUSSSSS... SSSSSOOOOOOUUUUUUULLLLL!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Lucius pimp-walks his way around ringside and seems pretty confident, all things considered. He climbs to the apron and combs away at his 'fro a little more, before leaping in over the top rope, even daring to wave Bohemoth out of his way as he busts a few more jiving moves.

COACH
Oh yeah, break it down my brother!

COLE
Lucius in high spirits tonight... and I can't possibly think why he would be.

COACH
You can't? You said it yourself, Bo went through a war with CDub on Sunday night. He must still be feeling the effects and in that case, it's the best possible time for Lucius to be facing him, no?

Putting his comb safely in the back pocket of his beige pants, Lucius is ready to go. Bohemoth just smirks at his opponent.


*DINGDINGDING!*

As soon as the bell sounds Lucius starts to step confidently forward. His confidence disappears the moment Bohemoth scoops him off his feet and runs him back aggressively into the turnbuckles! Bohemoth drives his shoulder repeatedly into the gut, three, four, five times before the referee forces him to break. Looking shocked by the attack, Lucius is dragged out of the corner and knocked off his feet with a short arm clothesline!

COLE
So much for that theory.

Stumbling on his feet, Lucius gets grabbed around the head and thrown face-first into a turnbuckle. Right hands then beat him down into a seated position against the bottom turnbuckle.

COLE
Oh, hey, Lucius, you've got a little something on your face there...

Coming off the ropes, Bohemoth charges... AND DELIVERS THE FACEWASH IN THE CORNER!!

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
...nevermind, you got it.

COACH
Har har. Have you noticed how all your jokes are at other people's expense there, mister comedian? Or should I say mister jerk?

Rico stops stroking his porn 'stache confidently and starts to stroke his porn 'stache worriedly. It's pretty much the same thing, except his eyes are full of fear you see. Anyway, as Rico worries over his partner, Bohemoth pulls him up by the seat of the pants. A shove in the back sends Lucius into the ropes, scooped up on the rebound and DRIVEN into the canvas with the Front Spinebuster!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Uh-oh. The beginning of the end!

Sensing the same, Rico stops stroking and leaps to the apron to try and provide a distraction. Bohemoth knocks him flying with one right hand though, sending the Brazilian splattering into the ringside mats.

COLE
Down goes Rico, that's what he gets for stiking his moustache where it doesn't belong!

COACH
A moustache like that belongs wherever Rico wants it to.

Bohemoth turns back and looks around the arena. Lucius is still struggling to stir and looks to be easy pickings, as the people of Columbus stand and start giving the signal. The fired up bigman does a couple of circles of the ring before Bohemoth comes to a stop on one side of the ring.

Thumbs Up. 


THUMBS DOWN~!

COLE
Bohemoth is not getting paid by the hour.

Getting to his feet, Lucius is shaken up by the spinebuster and so is his 'fro. His first concern is to reach into his back pocket and grab his comb. Despite shaking like a leaf he does his best to comb the 'fro as he turns around, right into The Meterosexual Monster's arms! Bohemoth carries Lucius into position, before swinging him around...

...out...


...and DOWN~!

COLE
An Erotic Awakening For B, an empthatic lights out for Lucius!!


1...






2...






3!!


*DINGDINGDING!*

"Liberate" powers out again as Bohemoth hits the turnbuckles and flexes the muscles one more time.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOTTHHHHHH!!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
The bigman showing no signs of fatigue or hangover from Zero Hour and he is rolling!

Climbing off the turnbuckles, Bohemoth stands over Lucius with the referee jumping in to make sure Bohemoth doesn't do any more damage. He's done plenty enough as it is though and just wants to take a last look at the carnage, before he leaves the ring.

COLE
And in this kind of mood and this kind of form, who in the hell is going to be able to stop Bohemoth!?

COACH
How about the US police on charges of ra...

COLE
Are we still hung up on that? You'd think if anything was going to happen by now, a- it would have and b- there'd be some concrete proof come to light, besides an unmarked brown plastic bag and a whole bunch of accusations.

Bo walks back up the aisle to the applause of the crowd, turning back to treat the crowd to one more flex of the muscles. What's left of Lucius and Rico are helped out as Bohemoth watches on, barely able to hold back a smile. Bohemoth then turns back to the entrance way and starts to leave.



"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night
So baby take my hand, you'll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Wait a second!

Coming to a sudden stop halfway up the ramp, Bohemoth stands with hands on hips as out head the collectives forces of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL, cutting him off! Landon leads the way with a sour look on his face, with Megan and James Blonde close behind him. Somewhere off behind come the more individual forces of Faqu (wearing the scars of the Heartland Chamber Of Hell), Nathaniel Black and Todd Cortez. There's an awkward moment in the aisle as Landon and Bohemoth come face to face, before Landon and co. breeze by him. A couple of seconds later it's Faqu coming face to face with The Meterosexual Monster and he's much more unpredictable. So it's lucky that James Blonde is paying attention and is able to drag Faqu away before the two can come to blows. Once all members of CI are past him, Bohemoth continues to stand with hands on hips watching them briefly, before he shakes his head and is finally able to leave.

COLE
An... awkward moment there, as a clearly impatient Landon Maddix makes his way out to the ring with his followers, for the lack of a better word. And Todd Cortez.

COACH
Oh no, he's a follower too. Whether he likes it or not.

The members of Cucaracha Internacional enter the ring and assemble with Landon at the front of the crowd, holding a microphone in his hand. Landon scowls as the boos and shouts of abuse rain down on him, waiting for some sense of quiet before he begins.

MADDIX
For those of you with your heads firmly under the rocks of ignorance, you might be wondering why I wasn't at Zero Hour this past Sunday night. Well, let's just say, I had more important things to take care of.

COLE
Referring to Genesis IX, the SWF's pay per view.

COACH
I thought they were straight to DVD.

COLE
Well they... I'll tell you later.

MADDIX
And when I came back, I expected to be back with renewed energy. A renewed vigour. Renewed happiness and I can guarantee you that last one is a crock for a start! See, I watched Zero Hour on Pay Per View. And what did I see? I saw Theodore Moneymaker marching around this ring like he owned it, as usual. I saw my Samoan savage Faqu step into the Chamber Of Hell and walk out of it [i]without[/i] the Heartland Title. I saw my spiritual muse, my darling Megan Skye, step into the ring with the Women's Champion... and [i]LOSE[/i]. And worst of all, I had to sit there and watch Krista Isadora Duncan putting out her own special brand of farce, just days after having to watch her do it in person on my SWF Pay Per View!

Landon paces the ring, until James Blonde halts him.

BLONDE
Did you see the pre-show Landon? I won my match!

MADDIX
I did see that. And let's just say it was a small high on a night of many lows.

Despite less than impressive praise, Blonde is happy enough and goes back to the group with a smug self-satisified smile.

MADDIX
Lately it's one step forward and two steps back for us. Genesis gave me a chance to take a timeout, to recharge my batteries. To sit down and to assess things. And maybe that's why I'm not in such a good mood. Because right now, Cucaracha Internacional isn't up to my standards.

Landon turns to his group expecting sorry looks. He gets one from Megan at least, but Black and Cortez are both straight-faced, Blonde is still grinning away and Faqu is Faqu.

MADDIX
The past few months there's been claims and counter-claims about who the top group in the OAOAST is. Is it The Enterprise? The Deadly Alliance? The In Crowd? Or is it us. And I know deep down, it should be us. So, why isn't it? Why aren't we getting the credit we deserve? Maybe it's because we're not out there making huge statements. Well, that's not what this is about. I see other groups morally bankrupting themselves, as they do whatever it takes to ruin people's careers and livelihoods. I see other groups in four on one attacks, five on one attacks. I see other groups pouring candlewax on people's backs and shoving them into jets of red-hot steam. That's not what we're about. We're the #1 group in the OAOAST, because we're the BEST. We are the best collection of talent in the OAOAST. And that should count for everything. See to us, it's not about who can make the biggest noise or cause the most controversy. It's about gold! It's about kudos. It's about bragging rights.

Landon turns back to his group.

MADDIX
We're International superstars... and it's about time we started ACTING like it!

As the looks get a little more apologetic than before from all but Cortez, Landon then turns back to the hard camera.

MADDIX
And then, you'll all realise just why we are the elite force in the OAOAST.

Dropping the microphone, a still agitated Landon waves for his troops to follow him as he leaves the ring. A slightly more agreeable Megan signals that they should probably listen and that works, except for Blonde who virtually dives out of the ring at the first sign from Landon. Blonde tracks his mentor up the aisle with the rest following behind.

COLE
Landon Maddix making it very clear to his associates, he's sick of playing second-fiddle to anyone or any group and with the mood he's in right now, they might be well served to pay attention.

COACH
Well I gotta be honest and say these guys have been under-achieving recently, it's true. But you can't say that Landon was wrong about anything he just said, they've got the talent.

COLE
So you're saying he was right about them having more talent than The Enterprise? Or The Deadly Alliance?

COACH
....I think they're all very reputable organisations.

COLE
That's what I thought.