OAOAST Syndicated 10/12/08

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Brought to you by American Express

Taped: October 9th, 2008

First air date: October 12th, 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area)

Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan

 

Syndicated returns after another mysterious absence for more additional wrestling material with our old friends Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. Tonight, one half of the World Tag Team Champions Thunderkid, in singles action. One half of a team which is now only one half, so who knows quite what fraction that makes him now, "Cash Money" Curtis Black also in singles action. Plus two big tag team contests. Nice guys The Love Doctors and Tim Cash take on not-so nice guys Spencer Reiger and The Last Kings Of Scotland. And in our main-event, gay guys Los Diablos De Fuego versus not-so gay guys, but then again who knows, they are a little iffy, not that there's anything wrong with that you understand, no homo, or possibly yes homo, Biff Atlas and Vinny Valentine!

 

***"Cash Money" Curtis Black -VS- Matt Darling***

Syndicated would kick off though with Curtis Black, pumped up and ready to get crunk. Or, something. Curtis took the fight right to Darling from the get-go, eager to make a good impression as a singles wrestler no doubt. Black's speed and sudden offence had Darling bumping off the canvas time and time again, giving Curtis a couple of seconds to shout something suitably Compton to the crowd. I'd elaborate, but honestly I got nothin'. After coming off the top with a high flying clothesline, Black whipped the crowd up. A boot then set Darling up, to get C.R.E.A.Med and put away for the impressive victory.

 

Winner: Curtis Black, via pinfall

 

 

OAOAST HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 2008

October 31st; Miami, FL

LIVE on Pay-Per-View!

Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh boogedyboogedyboogedyboogedy...

 

 

Up next on OAOAST Syndi...

 

 

BOO!

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Up next on OAOAST Syndicated, six-man tag team action, stemming from a bunch of stuff that happened. Including on our last episode of Syndicated about six or seven weeks ago, whenever it was, when The Last Kings Of Scotland were defeated by The Love Doctors. They refused to shake hands after the match, which earned them the respect of just one man- Spencer Reiger, OAOVW prospect and notorious non-handshaking person. His similar problems with Tim Cash lead us to this:

 

 

***The Love Doctors and Tim Cash -VS- Spencer Reiger and The Last Kings Of Scotland***

Syndicated grudge match action, baby! The Love Doctors and the former EMT turned ultimate nice-guy had the crowd support, naturally, over their opponents. Cash and Spencer started off and just like their previous two meetings, Cash tried to start with a friendly handshake. And just like their previous two meetings, Spencer declined rudely. You'd think he'd learn by now. Cash did at least learn him some intensity though, as when Spencer predictably jumped him, he was willing to fight back, albeit with legal forearm strikes. Cash's sudden aggression has Spencer scrambling for cover and the tag to Scottish Scott. He fared little better as an armdrag saw him caught in the OAOAST regulars' corner. Cash and The Docs exchanged working on the arm, until an eyerake allowed Scott to get away from Pigley and bring in Danny Boy. Just a shame that Danny Boy's first action was to walk into an armdrag as well. The Love Docs would go on to deliver the Defibrillator and seemingly pick up the 3, only for Reiger to come in to make a late save. Action would break out as The Love Doctors brawled with their three opponents. As The Docs and the Scots battled to the floor, only then did Cash come in, with some calm. He and Reiger would go counter hold for counter hold, until Cash had the Midwest Sling (Texas Cloverleaf) all but applied. Getting to the ropes reprieved Spencer though as Cash gave a quick clean break. Back up, Reiger reversed an irish whip and leapfrogged Cash on the rebound. On landing though Reiger went down clutching his knee. Most of the eagle eyed fans in the arena spotted the oldest trick in the book a mile away. Unfortunately, Tim Cash's trusting nature meant he believed Reiger must be seriously hurt to go down and switched off. That allowed Reiger to surprise him with a roll-up and use a handful of tights to keep Cash down for the surprise 3 count!

 

Winners: Spencer Reiger and The Last Kings Of Scotland, via pinfall

 

Reiger walked away smugly pointing to his head, as The Love Doctors rolled in to ask their partner what happened. After all, this means the dudes in kilts WON a match! How did THAT happen!?

 

 

The HeldDOWN~! recap... in orange, not those sissy colours like yellow and purple as some would have you view... took us back to a night of talking. And some more talking. Don't get me wrong, it was good talking from good talkers. There was also a four-way match with the referee running away before a winner was announced and a singles match where one guy just upped and left before the match had finished. That's why we're the number one rated wrestling program in the world... ON OPPOSITE DAY!!!

 

 

***Thunderkid -VS- Blake Hamilton***

An easy afternoon/night/when do we air again? for one half of the World Tag Team Champions. Thunderkid had things all his own way with his outmatched opponent. After a couple of lock-ups lead to TK powering Hamilton around the ring, he slipped the intensity up a notch. A combination of bodyshots in the corner weakened Hamilton severely. TK sent Hamilton off the ropes to deliver the Bicycle Kick. Thunderkid then delivered a Gorilla Press Slam, just 'cause he could. Moments later, Thunderkid casually waited for Hamilton to get to his feet, before finishing him off with the Thunderbolt DDT for the victory.

 

Winner: Thunderkid, via pinfall

 

 

NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~!

Outside an exclusive hotel? 130 seats? Unless you're crazy rich and live or vacation in Puerto Rico, chances are the only way to watch is live on TV! So, do that by all means.

 

The United States Championship on the line!

Alfdogg makes his first defence, against Brickston

 

The Women's Championship on the line!

Jade Rodez-Duncan defends against former champion Malaysia Nerdly, in an AngleSlam rematch

 

Plus,

San Juan demands a danceoff!

Deuce Deuce Bigelow vs. Vinny Valentine

 

 

Backstage, and heading to the ring we found Biff Atlas and Vinny Valentine. Vinny was carefully going over moves in his head, obviously disco dance moves for his entrance and not wrestling moves, that should go without saying. The camera would then pan out, to reveal Biff Atlas waddling along in FULL HOCKEY GOALTENDER GEAR!! Even fuller than your standard NHL issue, as Biff had forethought to include on the outside of the rest of the gear a special ASS-PAD!!! Apparantly the irony of wearing the uniform of the most violent sport in the northern hemisphere was lost behind all the protection.

 

***Los Diablos De Fuego -VS- Panic At The Disco***

Luckily a commercial break saved us from having to sit through Biff Atlas' 4 minute shuffle to the ring. He'd only just made it to ringside when we returned and took almost as long to fit himself through the ropes. Out would come Los Diablos to a great reaction. Their usual exuberance was short lived when they saw Biff though. Los Diablos understandably complained to the referee about Biff wearing a helmet during a wrestling match, before complaining even more about the padding around the rear! Biff completely refused to remove any of his unneccessary hockey gear though and the resulting arguement allowed Vinny Valentine to attack Los Diablos from behind!

 

Vinny clubbed away at the mexican luchadors before readying Biff, whipping first Mariachi and then Moracca into his tag team partner. Both simply bounced off of the statuesque human ball of padding and Biff came out completely unscathed. As order became restored by the referee Vinny targetted Mariachi, giving Biff the tag mere seconds after the poor guy had manoeuvered his way through the ropes to the apron. Seven seconds later Biff was back in and on the attack. Biff slugged away at Mariachi with his goaltender gloves in the corner then went for an irish whip... to realise he had virtually no grip in his hands. So he shoved Mariachi by way of a whip, then delivered a BIG GOALTENDER PADDING ASSISTED AVALANCHE in the corner!! Biff brought the more mobile Valentine back in after his big move to carry the workload. Slowly and methodically V Squared worked over Mariachi with a brawling/dancing offence, delivering a middle rope elbowdrop for 2. Moracca got the crowd behind Mariachi as he found himself trapped in a rear chinlock by the disco dancing denizen and sure enough, it gave Mariachi the strength to DRY-HUMP his way back to his feet! Elbows freed Mariachi, allowing him to plant a liplock on Vinny, taking him off his game for a flying forearm attack and a FUEGO TAG~! to Moracca! Leaping in the fresh Diablo cleaned house on Valentine, with Biff unable to get in to help his partner on account of the extra 20/30 pounds of weight he's carrying in padding. Moracca nailed Vinny in the corner with 10 punches, dropping Valentine in a place he didn't want to be. Before Moracca could apply BUTT to face though Biff finally found his way in and charged. Unfortunately, a sidestep meant Biff hit the turnbuckles and smashed his knee padding right into Vinny's face in the process. Moracca then leapt onto his back trying to apply the dreaded Rear Naked Choke with dry humping... but the helmet prevented the choke and the ass-pad blocked the dry humping, leaving Moracca powerless!! Going into reverse Biff sandwiched Moracca in the corner. Mariachi then looked for his springboard seated senton, but Biff simply stuck his helmet out (the one on his head (the one on his shoulders that is) that is) and caught Mariachi right in the chest! "All this gear... it's actually WORKING! Something is actually WORKING for Biff Atlas!" remarked a stunned Jesse Ventura.

 

Of course, if you know Biff Atlas, you know that it couldn't last. Beginning to fatigue under the excess weight Biff lumbered over to Moracca again and looked to deliver a helmet assisted headbutt in the corner. But Moracca moved and as Biff headbutted the top turnbuckle, Moracca leapt up and TWISTED THE HELMET AROUND! That left Biff blinded, long enough for Moracca to feed Vinny Valentine in for the OHSAA Approved Powerbomb on his own partner!! Quickly Los Diablos teamed up to bundle the bulky Biff to the floor, then inflicted The Sodomizer (Spike Tombstone) on Vinny V, bundling on top to pick up the win!

 

Winners: Los Diablos De Fuego, via pinfall

 

In no rush to get up Mariachi and Moracca celebrated their victory on top of an unconscious Valentine. Getting his helmet sorted out, Biff looked up to see the awful sight and waddled to safety. Only, he didn't quite make it. Los Diablos left the ring and caught up to Biff with no problem at all. Panic striken, Biff fell to the floor and Los Diablos began to eagerly writh on his heavily padded torso, Biff's wailing shrieks the last thing we hear before Syndicated goes off the air.