HD: Love Shack + aftermath

[King Cucaracha 0]

[color=blue]OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents...[/color]
[color=purple][size=6]#~~THE LOVE SHACK~~#[/size][/color]

[IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/loveshack.jpg]

Overlooking the picturesque San Juan Hotel, we find ourselves on the set of the Love Shack for the first time in some time. If you can call a desk decorated with various items [s]stolen[/s] borrowed from the hotel and a leather sofa which may also have come from the hotel's lobby a set, that is. Taking in the unique, for a wrestling show anyway, scenery is Leon Rodez, still wearing a big smile on his face. Leon flips the microphone around in his hands a couple of times before thanking everyone for their non-existant applause (if WrestleMania taught us anything in the late 80s, it's that rich people don't make a lot of noise at wrestling shows).

LEON
Ladies and gentlemen, yes, The Shack is back and it's back in style from the looks of it. Got to love the OAOAST, branching out to new places like this, don't you? Well, I mean, not if you're a middle class person from San Juan hoping to watch a wrestling show live, hear that the OAOAST is coming back with the pride of the country as the World Champion, only to find there's 130 seats and they're all taken by people who can afford the astronomical costs. But, screw the little people. Am i rite?

The rich people applaud because they're rich and non-rich people suck.

LEON
And I thought having a free show in New York was a bad idea. But, anyway, we roll on with The Love Shack regardless and really I don't mean to jest, because in actual fact we've got a great show tonight.

Leon does the Conan O'Brien bow.

LEON
Yes indeed, I've got a very special guest coming out in just a second, we'll get to that in a minute. First of all though, I'd like to take a few moments to do something comedic, since I'm a talk show host and all and that's what we're supposed to do. Earlier this week, I took it upon myself to mail out some questionnaires through the OAOAST company post-line. And the members of the OAOAST roster who are literate were kind enough to reply. So, with that in mind, it's time for a little thing Conan O'Brien likes to call Celebrity Survey... and I, for legal reasons, prefer to call 'Pro Wrestler Survey'.

Leon retrieves some papers from his desk.

LEON
Okay, the OAOAST wrestlers were asks to complete this sentence. "When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is...."
Krista Isadora Duncan wrote, "Pour myself a martini."
Biff Atlas wrote, "Thank the heavens I didn't choke to death in my sleep."
And James Blonde wrote, "Lean over and say good morning to Landon."

COACH
Oh n... oh no... OH [i]NO[/i] HE DI'NT!!

LEON
Very disturbing, so we move on. "If I could do any other job in the world, it would be...."
Tyler Bryant wrote, "singer."
Colin Maguire Jr. wrote, "professional footballer."
And Christian Wright wrote, "professional wrestler."

Leon makes a funny face.

LEON
Either he didn't quite understand the question, or was being very honest. Now, the last question, a very pressing one for us all at this time. "The current state of the US economy is a major worry to me, because..."
Felix Strutter wrote, "I spend more on gas travelling between shows."
Theodore Moneymaker wrote, "is mine and my people's fault."
Melissa Nerdly wrote, "it means I have to charge extra for kissing."

LEON
:O

LEON
Well, that was fun. But now let's get to business. I promised a big guest and I think it's no hyperbole. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce my guest tonight. He is the leader... of the most dominant group in the OAOAST today! He needs no further introduction, let's bring him on out!

With a flourish Leon turns to the entrance way.

COLE
That's... a little vague.

COACH
Just wait.

For a while there's a delay, before finally...



"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night
So baby take my hand, you'll be all right
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

COACH
Alright!

COLE
It's Landon Maddix.

COACH
Of course it is! Who else could it be?

Emerging through the curtains comes Landon Maddix, flanked by the rest of Cucaracha Internacional. Landon warmly waves to the crowd, arm in arm with Megan, seeming pretty happy with his introduction tonight. Not quite so happy is James Blonde still sulking over Leon's earlier comedic bit, stopping to inform the camera "I didn't fill out any questionnaire, honest". Also there are Faqu, Nathaniel Black and Todd Cortez. You know by now what they're like if you watch HeldDOWN~! Landon enters the ring with his troops, picking up a microphone from a pile of them left on the sofa.

LEON
Landon, nice of you to come on out, welcome to the Love Shack.

MADDIX
Nice of you to have me on.

LEON
Well, you know, it's as much about you as it is about me. But nevermind that. I'll be honest, I don't have any pre-prepared questions for you tonight, I'm a little disorganised. Luckily improv is a passion of mine, so let's go with the flow and see where it takes us. Now, Halloween Specta...


"Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long long years
Stole a many man's soul and his faith"

COLE
Wait a second!

Having just sat down, Landon stands bolt upright at the sound of "Sympathy For The Devil" by Guns and Roses playing over the PA system and interrupting his interview. And he looks distinctly unhappy to see Theodore Moneymaker heading through the curtains, followed by the rest of The Enterprise! CPA, Christian Wright, Officer Bosley, The Beverly Hills Blonds, Mackenzie DeCenzo and Molly Nerdly all make their way behind Moneymaker who marches to the ring. In which, Leon Rodez feigns a look of surprise.

COACH
What is this all about?

COLE
I don't know but I've got half an idea. And I don't like it.

Moneymaker grabs a microphone as the ring fills with bodies, Leon looking a little cramped behind his desk. The two groups square up, with Maddix and Moneymaker at the front.

LEON
Uhm, ladies and gentlemen, Theodore Moneymaker and co.

MONEYMAKER
I suggest you keep your mouth shut Rodez. You're already on very thin ice. What you and your merry friends pulled last week was nothing short of character assassination, for which my lawyers are currently preparing a case. And as far as you go, Landon Maddix, you daring to come to the ring when this time was clearly reserved for the leader of the number one force in the OAOAST, that being ME, is nothing short of character assassination either!

COLE
Boy that's rich, coming from the man who last week accused a thirteen year old girl of being a Satan worshipper.

COACH
He was misquoted.

COLE
He was on film!

MADDIX
Hang on a second here, there's so much hot air blowing out of that big mouth of yours I'm tempted to strip down to a towel and find some rocks to pour some water over.

BLONDE
Like a sauna!

MADDIX
Yeah that... that was my point. Thank you James. Yes, Moneymaker, I realise this time is for the leader of the top group in the OAOAST. That's why I'm out here.

MONEYMAKER
Tell me Landon, why on earth would he have been talking about you?

MADDIX
Maybe because I'm the future OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? Maybe my proven leadership skills as the Commissioner of the SWF? Who knows really.

MONEYMAKER
Who knows, indeed. Face it Maddix, your group of misfits is many things, but dominant is not one of them.

As Landon and Moneymaker bicker, Leon stands from his desk with a mischevious smile on his face. As he stands, he catches eyes with Molly Nerdly, who's shy reaction seems to confuse Mackenzie DeCenzo a little and thankfulyl goes unnoticed by other Enterprise members.

LEON
Well it seems like there's a little tension here...

MONEYMAKER
The fact is, I'M the most powerful man in the OAOAST, The Enterprise is the most powerful force in the OAOAST and I suggest you leave before you embarrass yourself even further.

MADDIX
Most powerful force? Teddy, Teddy, I watch Fox News. The economy is in the toilet. You don't have any real power. And you never will. Nobody in the right mind would turn around now and say "you know what we need to lead us into the future? A rich aristocrat from a powerful family who's entire base of power relies on the power of the dollar. There is absolutely no evidence in the modern world to tell us that that could in any way backfire on us whatsoever!" You're dead in the water. Face it.

MONEYMAKER
My power is about more than just money my young friend. I have influence you and your measly commissionership of a run of the mill, straight to DVD wrestling promotion who's better days died the moment you won their heavyweight championship could never compare to! Everything in the OAOAST revolves around The Enterprise. It is as simple as that. And that is wh...




.:CUE: "Magnum Opus":.

COLE
Now what?

COACH
Oh boy, we got ourselves a bit of a situation here.

All eyes turn to the entrance again as here comes The Deadly Alliance now! Alfdogg leads out Reject, Thunderkid and Sandman9000, Reject with Melissa Nerdly on his arm. Shaking his head, Alfdogg has his own microphone and calls for some quiet.


Ahead of them, Leon Rodez exits the ring with a big smile on his face.

COACH
Look at him! Look at that sneaky little bastard, he set this up!

COLE
I think you might be onto something for once Coach.

Leon kicks back against the barricade and watches on, as The Deadly Alliance approach the ring.

ALFDOGG
You have GOT to be kidding me! You really have got to be kidding me. Are you seriously expecting people to believe that either of you two are really the leader of the OAOAST's number one stable? Face facts, you're all just pretenders to the thrown. The Deadly Alliance is the original... and the best.

The DA enter the already crowded ring.

ALFDOGG
Now I know it's been a while for the majority of you, so allow me to refresh your memories. These things around our waists are called [i]championship belts[/i]. You'll notice that we all have one. Coincidence? Not really. Proof of my point? Absolutely. It begins and ends with the Deadly Alliance. Now there's no denying The Enterprise is the biggest group in the OAOAST, considering you can pretty much recruit new back-up as and when you need it. Which is scarily often from where I'm sitting. Doesn't say a lot for your recruitment policy. And Cucaracha Internacional are no doubt the most multi-cultural group going. Of course, you could say similar for the United Nations and I think the ability to achieve results is equally piss-poor on both counts.

MONEYMAKER
Wow, what a cultured reference from a non-cultured man. And here I was expecting some amusing quip comparing us to a National Football League team of some description.

ALFDOGG
Well now that you mention it, you do remind me of the Dallas Cowboys, rich and yet on the verge of breakdown, due to...

MADDIX
Save it, save it, save it! Incase you hadn't noticed, the OAOAST is an Internacional company and everybody knows nobody outside of the US cares about your silly little game.

ALFDOGG
That's kinda ironic, since nobody in the US cares about Cucaracha Internacional, so I'd call us even. If it makes you feel better, I could use a reference you understand and call you the David Beckham of the OAOAST. Success in the face of utter cluelessness.

In an attempt to restore some order, Leon clears his throat into the microphone. Everybody turns to him for a second, causing him to hold his hands up.

LEON
I'm sorry, you were saying?

COLE
Haha! Looks like Leon's just gonna let these guys talk it out amongst themselves.

COACH
Of course he is! He's the one that set this thing up!

MONEYMAKER
Gentlemen... I suggest we settle this ammicably. By you leaving me to my interview. You wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of me now, would you?

ALFDOGG
Oh, I don't know.

MADDIX
Yeah, Moneymaker. I see six of you... and nine of us.

Alfdogg turns from Moneymaker to Maddix with a smile.

ALFDOGG
I hope you're not grouping this four with your group Maddix. Because we're fixing to run through [i]everybody[/i] in this ring in about five seconds if you all don't get the hell out.

MONEYMAKER
I assume that includes the females as well as the males?

Reject grabs the microphone from Alf, realising that shot was directed at him.

REJECT
Look, Moneymaker, put it this way...


*SLAP!*

COLE
OH BOY!

The Messiah reels back from the slap, nobody quite able to believe it just happened.

REJECT
I will run through who I want, whe...

Reject has no time to finish that thought though, as The Enterprise suddenly pile forward AND START SLUGGING IT OUT WITH THE MEMBERS OF THE DEADLY ALLIANCE!! The punches fly back and forth sending Melissa, Mackenzie and Molly all heading for the safety of the outside. And Megan soon joins them, as after watching for a few seconds, Landon gives the signal AND CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL SUDDENLY DIVE INTO THE FRAY AS WELL!!!!

COLE
HERE WE GO!!!!

COACH
No, no, this is what he wants! Damn it!

It's chaos as the fifteen or so OAOAST superstars do battle inside the ring. On the outside, even the females are about to get in on the act, as Mackenzie and Molly get into a heated arguement with Megan and with Melissa. Watching all this unfold, Leon puts his microphone down carefully and dusts his hands on a job well done. Getting to the top of the aisle he decides not to leave after all though, instead reaching into the ring AND PULLING OUT REJECT, GOING WILD WITH RIGHT HANDS ON THE FLOOR!!!

COLE
LEON HAS REJECT!! OH MAN WHAT A CHAOTIC SCENE!!

COACH
AND NOW WHAT!?

Now would be ZACK MALIBU, dodging past Reject and Rodez to dive into the ring in pursuit of Theodore Moneymaker! The Messiah is tied up with Thunderkid though and Zack gets lost in the melee, instead throwing right hands at whatever Enterprise or Cucaracha Internacional member steps his way. Moments later and BOHEMOTH sprints out through the curtains to get in on the war as well, sliding in and going to work on Alfdogg!!

COLE
IT'S ALL GONE TO HECK IN SAN JUAN!!

Not a moment too soon referees rush out from the back to try and break the mass brawl up. But the wrestlers outnumber the officials and they're powerless to help, as the wild punches continue to fly around in the ring. They do manage to break up Leon and Reject though, for what it's worth. With Leon restrained, Melissa starts to rush towards him... but Molly Nerdly grabs her sister by the arm and wheels her around, into a big SLAP! Down goes Melissa, but Megan attacks Molly from behind, leading to Mackenzie tackling her to the ground giving the officials even more order to try and restore. Eventually, they give up and signal to the back, leading to more OAOAST staff and road agents to run to the ring to help out!

COACH
Michael, hold my headset.

COLE
What? Are you mad, you can't go up there!

COACH
What!? Screw that, room service just brought me my meal and I don't wanna be chewing on air, fool.

COLE
Oh for the love of...

The fight begins to become a little less frenetic, if only because the shots everyone is taking are having their effect. Some roll to the floor to get out of the firing line, like The Beverly Hills Blonds and James Blonde, who go back at it on the floor instead. In the ring, Todd Cortez finds the room to set Sandman9000 up for the Riot Act Plus... but Christian Wright bundles him over. Finally the mass of OAOAST officials is joined by some of the locker room, the likes of The Love Doctors, Vinny Valentine and The Can-Jam Connection being drafted in to get the warring factions seperated!

COLE
It is utter chaos on HeldDOWN~! and it seems like there's no end in sight, even with all these bodies out here to stop it... LOOK OUT!!!!!

Suddenly, Zack Malibu leaves the ring, with a PLANCHA OUT ONTO JAMES BLONDE AND THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS!!!!!

COLE
THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL!! We're going to need the US army to break this up at this rate!

COACH
I think they're busy elsewhere.

COLE
I thought you were supposed to be eating? ...I'm being told we're going to take a break and hope this has been sorted by the time we get back, stay tuned to HeldDOWN~!, hopefully we'll be back in one piece!


[b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK*[/b]

[King Cucaracha 0]

We return to HeldDOWN~! to the interior of the San Juan Hotel, where a brave Josh Matthews has ventured into the General Manager's office.

MATTHEWS
Uhm, Miss Baker, if I could.

Josh approaches with some caution, as Josie steps out from behind her desk.

MATTHEWS
I just wanted to get your thoughts on what just happened in the ring.

JOSIE
My thoughts? Well, it doesn't take a genius to guess I'm none too happy about what just happened. The fact is for months now all of these wannabee leaders have been throwing insults each other's way and it just took someone to light the touchpaper. Someone like Leon Rodez. Well, he brought all this about and I'll deal with him later.

Josie takes a drag of a cigarette.

JOSIE
For now? See, I can cope with all of these groups making testosterone feuled boasts of being the best towards each other. But when it becomes as chaotic and out of control as it did tonight, I have to do something about it.

Another drag later and Josie decides the cigarette needs stubbing out. Hard.

JOSIE
So, next week, I'm going to let all of these warring factions have a chance to settle their differences. Every man involved in the mess tonight, with the exception of the three men in the Halloween Spectacular's main-event, will be involved in a special Battle Royal. The difference is, instead of one winner, the match will continue until there are two men left. And those two will then go on to the Halloween Spectacular, facing each other one on one, to decide who will challenge the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at November Reign next month. That's all.

MATTHEWS
Miss Baker, thank you.


Back to ringside we go, to a still flustered looking Michael Cole and The Coach, busy wiping his mouth with a napkin.

COACH
Man, they weren't kidding about the food at this place. Props to the chef.

COLE
As you can see we've finally managed to get some order restored. Sadly before the fight could come this way and take care of my partner here, but you can't have it all. And what a huge announcement for next week! We saw utter bedlam here tonight and we're going to see it all over again next week in a HUGE battle royal!