King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2008 MATTHEWS Josh Matthews standing by, with the Halloween Spectacular just over a week away. And my guests at this time are in for an historic test in Miami, set to take on the OAOAST's first ever mother/daughter tag team combination of Krista and Jade, they being Malaysia Nerdly and Jo... As Malaysia and Mr. Dick walk in, Josh hurriedly stops himself. MR. DICK Now I know you weren't fixing to call me what I think you were bitchboy. It's Mister Dick. Not Jock, not Dick, not Dickie, not nothing but [i]Mister[/i] Dick. You disrespect the Dick and it'll do the same right back atcha. MATTHEWS Duly noted. Now, after your actions last week, I have to ask, are you worried about what Krista's fixing to do to you in eight nights? Mr. Dick gives Josh an incredulous look, before snatching the microphone away from him. MR. DICK Do I look like a man who oughta be worried by anyone? Take a good look at me Josh. Go on, go ahead. I know you wanna lay them eyes on me faggot, this one's a freebie. Take a lookie-loo at these washboard abdominals. Take a look at the bulging biceps. Feast your eyes on the tight, toned BUTT of a champion! I'm in the best shape of my life. Hell, I'm in the best shape of ANYBODY's life! 6'4, 238 of Texas's finest thoroughbred. Only difference is, the horses are the ones with penis envy when it Mr. Dick's out on the ranch! I'm lean and I'm mean, in all the right places. Now take them eyes off'a me pervert. Save it for the privacy of your hotel room, freak. And while you're at it, quit looking at my woman too. Whether you got a dick or not and from where I'm sitting it's mighty inconclusive, you sure as all hell ain't got one like mine so you wouldn't have a clue what to do with a certified sexual predator like her! Malaysia growls under her breath at Josh. MR. DICK You've just been lusting them homo eyes up and down this chiseled human masterpiece, you tell me why I oughta be worried by anybody. Let alone a couple bitch women. Ya'll think just cause the Duncans are teaming up for the first time in history that me an' Malaysia an' the rest of the world better be worried? Face it, they ain't got no hope! An entire family of bitches, not one of them knows how to handle a dick and I'm the biggest Dick of them all! What hope they got!? No hope! No hopers! Krista found out long ago she weren't woman enough to satisfy a man, that's why she devoted her life to cleaning more carpets than an asian housemaid! And as for lil' Jade... MATTHEWS Maybe you'd better stop right there. Krista's already threatened some serious injury on you after your attempted attack on Jade last week. And I hope for your sake you're not thinking of trying that again at the Halloween Spectacular! MR. DICK Don't you worry about a thing. See, I had a little talk with President Baker. An' staring at her horseface for 20 minutes straight helped me come to the sudden realisation that there ain't but one person in the OAOAST worthy enough of close encounters of the penile kind with Mr. Dick. Actually, scratch that. Only this beast next to me is worthy enough of [i]this[/i] beast hanging outta me. Not a person else. So Krista, you rest easy. You can go back, safe in the knowledge that ain't no man gonna wanna touch your illegitimate spawn. Mr. Dick's juices are a commodity more precious than holy water, I ain't gonna waste a drop on your worthless daughter. She's already a walking waste of sperm so she don't need no more of a taste! MATTHEWS I tell ya, you are walking a tight line right now... MR. DICK I ain't walkin' nothing but the road to immortality, faggot! I told ya'll I was gonna get my revenge and I am. I told ya'll I was gonna make history and I will. I told ya'll Krista's kids were her one weakness and by god ya'll gonna find out I was right about that too. See, I'm so confident about what's gonna go down in Miami, I'm gonna go ahead and walk you through it a week early. What's gonna happen is the same that always happens. Krista's gonna come out and she's gonna make a scene outta herself. She'll be dancing and prancing and all that. Only this time, she's gonna turn around while she be rubbing her coochie up and down on somebody and she's gonna see her little daughter standing there with her mouth wide open wondering why no man ain't ever gonna treat her like that, yet when those legs creak open they're queued around the block to clean out those cobwebs out from her momma's MILF cooch! That's when Krista takes her eye off the Dick... and BAM! We take her out. Then, all we gotta deal with is the weak link. Tell 'em what you're gonna do to the fat kid! Tell 'em! MALAYSIA I'm gonna stomp her... I'm gonna slap her... I'm gonna CHOKE her. MR. DICK Then what? THEN WHAT!? MALAYSIA Then, when she's down on the mat, I'm going take my boot... and I'm going to press it down across her throat, compressing her windpipe until her breathing begins to slow. Forgetting all about their interview, Mr. Dick and Malaysia lock eyes, their lips inches away from each other. MR. DICK Oh yeah! Keep going baby, keep going! MALAYSIA Her eyes will bulge... her skin, reddening... panic causing her to squirm and struggle under my foot... her blood, running cold... Just before the two lunge into each other's mouths, Mr. Dick wheels away from the panting Malaysia and snatches the microphone from Josh. MR. DICK And that's when I turn around and kick Krista's teeth right down her stinkin' throat!! She's gonna watch her daughter get TORTURED and then, just when she thinks it can't get any worse, Mr. Dick's gonna do exactly what he said he was gonna do... he's gonna take Krista Isadora Duncan and he's gonna make her SUBMIT!! If I gotta break an ankle, snap a leg, seperate a shoulder, it doesn't matter! She will submit to Mr. Dick! She will submit for the first time in her career! I'm not gonna stop until I make her tap. You know why? You know what's gonna keep me going, even with a human life precarious in my hands!? Every scream comin' outta Krista's mouth. Every bone cracking under her skin. Every tortured slap of that hand against that mat, begging for the pain to stop. Because I know that's gonna get Malaysia off and she's gonna turn into an insatiable animal the moment we get through those curtains!! Miami ain't never gonna be the same, Krista ain't never gonna be the same and even Mr. Dick might not be the same by the time me and Malaysia are finished! Cause this bitch gets extra-freaky on Halloween. And after I make history in the ring, we're gonna go back to the hotel for a LONG game of Trick... or Dick!! The amped up Mr. Dick and Malaysia head off arm in arm, possibly for a pre-Halloween warm-up game, leaving behind a very creeped out Josh Matthews. COACH I tell you one thing Michael, she ain't gonna be bobbing for apples. COLE ...we'll be right back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
