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Patty O'Green

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 11/27/08

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PRESENTED IN HD

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

 

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-

-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-

-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

 

FINALLY THE REAL HeldDOWN themesong!

 

whhheheeeeeeeee

 

hd.jpg

 

We go straight to sofa central where our enterprising announce team has ignored my orders to dress as turkeys and instead settle for pilgrim hats. They are to be fired at once!

 

COLE

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We hope you enjoyed your Turkey day, and if you live in a country other than the USA-

 

COACH

We hope you know our black president has a bigger penis than your pasty white prime minister. USA! USA! USA!

 

COLE

Patriotism is alive and well. Folks, lets turn things over to former world champion Tony Brannigan to kick it off here tonight!

 

We SWOOP~! over to OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan atop the world famous interview stage.

 

BRANNIGAN

This Sunday night at November Reign my guests will square off against the Dream Team of Zack Malibu, Krista Isadora Duncan, Bohemoth and two yet unnamed partners in a colossal 10 person elimination tag. Accompanied by Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly, please welcome Theodore Moneymaker’s gang of five compromised of himself, fellow Enterprise associate Christian Wright, Mr. Dick and the only rock n‘ wrestling band that matters the Heavenly Rockers… THE CLEVELAND STEAMERS!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Still the most ridiculous name I’ve ever heard I might add.

 

COACH

Quit hatin’ because Los Diablos de Fuego refused your illicit solicitation, Cole. Cleveland Steamers is the most original and inspired team name in history. If you want a ridiculous name then look no further than the Oklahoma City Thunder. When did the NBA start letting WNBA franchises into the league?

 

To the tune of “Money Talks” by AC/DC, Moneymaker and his NR team head to the stage minus their biggest member.

 

BRANNIGAN

Theodore--

 

MONEYMAKER

Shut up, Brannigan. Last week I gave what I thought would be my final public statement before November Reign. That all changed when Zack Malibu and Krista failed to announce their entire Dream Team by Monday’s end. It was part of the agreement when the contracts were sign to ensure both teams had a fair amount of time to prepare for each other. They’re trying to gain an unfair competitive advantage because they know there isn’t anybody on the market who can be of value to them going up against my team. A prime example with Christmas on the horizon to do your shopping early! I did and look at what it brought. The greatest tag team in OAOAST history, the 2005 Rookie of the Year…

 

BRANNIGAN

Who cares?! That was 3 years ago!

 

WRIGHT

I…I…I…:angry:

 

MONEYMAKER

It doesn’t diminish his accomplishment any less.

 

WRIGHT

:)

 

LOGAN

Uncool BranniGIMP. Your world title reign only lasted a few minutes and some change but we still call you a former world champion. LEAVE CHRISTIAN ALONE!

 

MONEYMAKER

As I was saying, we have the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, the 2005 Rookie of the Year, the fastest rising up in comer in the business and of course myself. I defy anybody to tell me that isn’t the greatest collection of talent ever assembled on one team.

 

BRANNIGAN

It’s most impressive, absolutely. But aren’t you slapping two members of your Enterprise in the face when you call the Heavenly Rockers the greatest tag team in OAOAST history?

 

MONEYMAKER

Are they not former 3-time World tag team champions?

 

BRANNIGAN

Indeed they are. And so to are the Beverly Hills Blonds, who’ve also held the HI-YAH tag titles as well.

 

LOGAN

HI what? I think that’s the Korean joint in Reno that gave Synth the runs a few months back.

 

MONEYMAKER

"HI what" indeed, Mister Mann. Now the Beverly Hills Blonds, did they ever win the Anderson Cup or put the Sooner Bruisers out the OAOAST or outlast sixteen other tag teams in a grueling battle royal to win their third tag team chamoion or become the only rock n’ wrestling band that matters?

 

BRANNIGAN

Well, no. In fairness, however, the latter would be hard to achieve.

 

MONEYMAKER

Excuses, excuses, excuses. You sound like Simon and Ned. BWAHAHA! I will give them credit for attending the Enterprise’s Thanksgiving gathering in honor of the Cleveland Steamers earlier today though, since they don’t always show up for company functions.

 

LOGAN

They had sweet seats too. Over at the kiddie table!

 

MONEYMAKER

:lol:

 

BRANNIGAN

Speaking of not attending functions, I see Mr. Dick is nowhere present.

 

LOGAN

Aww jeez. This is just like you guys in the media, trynna create dissension where there is none. You’ve got no clue what you’re going on about. Rock n roll has its supergroups, and so does wrestling, and we’re the biggest supergroup since Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Toss your speculation and your wonderment out the window, because its pointless. There is no breaking us up.

 

MONEYMAKER

Don’t bother dignifying his questions with response. What are you, some tabloid journalist? His business is no concern of yours, Brannigan. I suspect he and Malaysia are working off the calories from all that turkey and pie served at our team meal.

 

SYNTH

We had to fill up so we can shit all over the Dream Team at November Reign!

 

BRANNIGAN

Theodore Moneymaker, I can’t help but think how different your reaction would be had it been the Beverly Hills Blonds who weren’t around, although now that I take a look around…they’re nowhere in sight either.

 

MONEYMAKER

Oh, they’re in sight alright. They’ve had to be given what another organization has promised will happen tonight.

 

Moneymaker snaps his fingers and VICE escorts Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard onstage like a couple of prisoners, arms restrained behind their backs. Even Molly receives the same treatment. Her guard Mackenzie DeCenzo.

 

MONEYMAKER

I’ve stated numerous times on record how I’d prefer to handle Enterprise business in house. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the men before me, particularly Ned Blanchard. Despite repeated assurances his job, or that of Simon and Molly for that matter, would be in no danger so long that he agreed to skip tonight’s “audition” put together by the Deadly Alliance, Ned chose to rebuff a most generous offer in my humble opinion. That only leads me to believe a traitor walks among us. And a simple-minded son of a bitch like yourself knows what the penalty is for treason, don’t you, Ned?

 

NED

I’d rather die than bend over and take it up the ass from you, Teddy.

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

MONEYMAKER

Your insubordination makes what I’m about to do all the easier, Blanchard. Imagine that, Brannigan, the newest member of the DA…a cripple! BWAHAHA!

 

COACH

Looks like the Deadly Alliance won’t be the only group sending a message tonight, Mikey Cole.

 

“In My Arms” hits and the crowd goes CRAZY~!

 

COLE

You’re damn right. So will the Dream Team!

 

COACH

The Dream Team or do you mean the Attention Whores? Haven’t they had enough screen time already?

 

Whatever fate awaited the BHB is put on hold as Zack Malibu, Krista Isadora Duncan and Bohemoth appear on the main stage to the newest trend in crowd interaction -- rapid-fire chants.

 

“MAL-I-BU!”

“K-I-D!”

“BO-HE-MOTH!”

 

KRISTA

Aw, look at the poor little rich heir. All BUTT hurt we haven’t announced our whole Dream Team and because for the first time since he knocked me up Ned’s shown some balls.

 

MONEYMAKER

Hiding behind a lipstick lesbian now, are we, Malibu?

 

Arms folded Zack smirks.

 

MONEYMAKER

Unfair as it is, I can understand why you guys want a mental edge going into November Reign. Not even Obama could put together a cabinet this star-studded. Sunday’s gonna be election night all over again. A one-sided massacre. Instead the right team’s gonna win this time.

 

KRISTA

BWAHA! Yeah, whatever. And I thought we only had one serial gimmick infringer in the OAOAST. But you’re right Teddy, we didn’t reveal our Dream Team before Monday night’s deadline. Truth is we only have 3 members.

 

MONEYMAKER

I knew it. I knew it! Here I thought you guys were trying to gain a competitive advantage when the real reason was you couldn’t find anybody to join your sinking ship. Bo has a million dollar body and a ten cent brain, so he doesn’t know any better.

 

Bo cracks his knuckles.

 

MONEYMAKER

Ooh, I hit a nerve. But it shows how desperate you are for teammates. If either one of you had half the business sense I do then you’d cut your losses with a man willing to participate in a match put together by the Deadly Alliance.

 

MALIBU

It’s about trust, Moneymaker. Bo’s EARNED my trust. You know, that word we talked about a few weeks ago? You’re just a paranoid insufferable son of a bitch with a god complex!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

MONEYMAKER

:firedevil:

 

Bo removes his shades and coolly walks up to Zack.

 

BOHEMOTH

Praise be!

 

ABDULLAH

GODDAMN YOU SEXUAL MONSTER!!!

 

KRISTA

Desperate for teammates? Honey, we’re not desperate for anything but kicking your ass! And FYI, the reason we haven’t filled our last two openings is because we haven’t offered them…yet. I know the people we have in mind real well and they couldn’t keep a secret if their lives depended on it. A 12 pack and a couple of Hustler magazines and they’d be squealing like pigs.

 

MONEYMAKER

Alix?! Get that weak shit out of here, woman. I would’ve expected you guys to be a bit more creative than that.

 

KRISTA

You’re in the right state but the wrong city.

 

MONEYMAKER

Right state, wrong city?

 

Christian whispers into Teddy’s ear and the two start laughing.

 

MONEYMAKER

Surely you can’t be serious.

 

KRISTA

I am serious…and don’t call Shirley.

 

MONEYMAKER

You mean… Are you referring to the Beverly Hills Blonds?

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

SIMON/NED

:huh:

 

KRISTA

What do you say Ned? How ‘bout we hook up for old times’ sake? And Simon, you wouldn’t have to hide in the backseat to watch us in action this time.

 

The E and the Heavenly Rockers laugh at the notion of Simon and Ned on the Dream Team.

 

“DO IT!”

“DO IT!”

“DO IT!”

 

The BHB play to the crowd and then give their answer.

 

NED

Now, when you say hook up, does this include the perk of us being friends with benefits?

 

KRISTA

Don't press your luck, Ned.

 

NED

I hear ya, I hear ya. Crossing the I's and dotting the T's and all that.

 

KRISTA

So are you in or out?

 

NED

Babe, you know I always prefer to go all in. Yeah, let’s do it!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

MONEYMAKER

:o

 

The BHB are grabbed as they’re about to leave the interview stage.

 

MONEYMAKER

Wait a minute. Where the hell do you think you’re going?

 

SIMON

To meet our new teammates.

 

MONEYMAKER

You work for me, you fools!

 

NED

Not anymore we don’t. We quit!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The BHB pull their arms away and prepare to walk off when Theodore spins Ned around and SLAPS him.

 

MONEYMAKER

Over my dead body you do.

 

Blanchard places Moneymaker in a CHOKE and orders the E to back off.

 

MONEYMAKER

OK, OK, OK. You’re free to go. You’re free to go! But hear me out, please. I apologize for my conduct towards you guys and Molly. You don’t know how stressful it is to run an Enterprise the size of my. I know I should’ve treated you all better so let me make it up to you. Multi-year contract extension, substantial pay raise, personal time off, you name it and it‘s yours. Ned, Ned, listen to me. I’ll even let you audition later tonight not for the Deadly Alliance but the OAOAST Board of Directors. Like Bo and Zack earned each other’s trust, after what you guys have done here you both have earned mine. Just please, please don’t join the Dream Team. If you want me to get on my hands and knees and beg, I’ll beg.

 

Teddy drops to his knees.

 

MONEYMAKER

See, I’m begging. DON’T GO!

 

NED

You’re sorry for how you treated us, huh?

 

MONEYMAKER

Very!

 

NED

Tell us personally.

 

MONEYMAKER

Simon, I’m sorry. Molly, I’m sorry. Ned, I’m especially sorry. I never should’ve gotten upset you wanted to chaperone your daughter’s class presidential rally. Family is important. Nobody should understand that better than me. I’m not the Billion Dollar Man. I’m the Billion Dollar Heir.

 

NED

Look at ya, a power broker and self-proclaimed Messiah on his hands and knees begging. It’s pathetic. But deep down we always knew you loved us.

 

The BHB embrace Moneymaker to boos, then floor him to cheers!

 

COLE

Alright! We know what their answer is!

 

All hell breaks loose as VICE come to Teddy’s aid. They and the BHB go at it while Zack, Krista and Bo go toe to toe with the Heavenly Rockers and Christian Wright.

 

COACH

We got a mini-preview of November Reign right here, Cole.

 

Mr. Dick rushes out wearing nothing but a towel and jumps on Krista. The two bitter foes trade blows until Krista removes the towel and starts flicking it at Mr. Dick’s bare ass! Her fellow Dream Teamers send Moneymaker and company retreating, then pose on the interview stage to the delight of the crowd.

 

COLE

Who’d have thought we’d see the Beverly Hills Blonds quit the Enterprise and join the Dream Team at November Reign?

 

COACH

Big mistake on the part of the BHB, Cole. They had everything and now they have nothing.

 

COLE

They have their dignity and that means more than money. Krista and Ned reunited? Oh, my. Imagine Christmas at Casa de Duncan this year!

 

COACH

Wait a minute, Cole. It just hit me. Bo and Ned are partners at November Reign but tonight they'll be opponents?!

 

COLE

And that match is still to come. Folks, Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! is just getting started! Stay tuned for that and more!

 

LATER TONIGHT

A DEADLY TRIPLE THREAT

TODD CORTEZ VS BOHEMOTH VS NED BLANCHARD

TONIGHT

COMMERCIAL

Edited by Patty O'Green

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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship... "SILKY SMOOTH" LEEEEOOOONN... RRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!

 

.:CUE: "Rock The Casbah", Trust Company:.

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Stepping out onto the stage, Leon Rodez aims a big smile and a wave at the crowd before pointing one finger to the sky. Proudly advertising... uhm, wearing... his new Captain America 'inspired' t-shirt, now available at OAOASTShop and as posted on one of the shows a few weeks ago...

 

 

COLE

(suddenly wearing shirt)

You mean this one?

 

leonshirt2.jpg

 

Yes, that one, thank you.

 

 

...and a pair of jeans which presumably aren't for sale and aren't being worn by either of the commentators, who both prefer the feel of leather couch on silky boxers, no homo, Leon walks to the ring.

 

COLE

Three days away from the biggest match of his career, Leon Rodez getting a great reaction here in Baltimore!

 

COACH

Yeah, well...

 

COLE

If you call them Balitimorons, I will bitchslap you. It's not funny or clever.

 

Leon enters the ring and takes the microphone from Michael Buffer, waving his hand in a motion to quieten the crowd and the music down. A "LE - ON" chant almost starts, but Leon quietens even that down, pointing to an imaginary watch on his wrist.

 

LEON

So how is everybody in Baltimore tonight?

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

THAT'S why he quietened everyone down! He just wanted the cheap pop! Oh, the scoundrel!

 

LEON

I'm gonna take "YEEEUHUEHUHEUHEH!!" to mean "we're good Leon, thanks for asking." And I say in return "BLAHUHHUAHH", which means "you're welcome". Okay, with the pleasentries out of the way, as I'm sure you're all aware November Reign is just three nights away. And I'm sure you're aware that at November Reign, I'm looking at the biggest match of my career. Now, I know wrestlers say that all the time and that statement's really lost all meaning, but I really do mean it when I say this is the most important match of my career. For the first time, I'm in the main event, challenging for the World Heavyweight Championship.

 

The crowd applaud.

 

LEON

You know it's hard to believe I've been waiting five and a half years for this. Five and a half years. For all that I've seen and all that I've done in that time, this is the big one. People assume that the World Heavyweight Championship isn't something I consider a priority in my career. Let's face it, I'm not one of those people who interrupts other people's promos demanding title shots, or hounds authority figures into giving me my chance. But every single person in that locker room harbours dreams of being the World Champion and I'm no different. I've waited patiently... maybe too patiently. And now, finally, I get my cha...

 

Leon is suddenly interrupted, by the sound of "Final Ride" by TRU. The crowd jeer expecting Reject, but to Leon's surprise it's not the Tag Team Champion heading to the ring, but his arm candy, MELISSA NERDLY! Scowling, Melissa is about the last person Leon wants to see as she walks to the ring.

 

COLE

What on earth is SHE doing out here!?

 

COACH

Who cares, why dontcha shut up and just enjoy the view?

 

Melissa climbs into the ring, continuing to scowl at Leon but managing a bit of a smile with it.

 

MELISSA

I'm so sorry to interrupt. But, I've got some busi...

 

"SLUT!"

"SLUT!"

"SLUT!"

"SLUT!"

 

Leon playfully motions for the crowd to quieten down again, then motions for them to get louder once Melissa's attention is turned to the abusive fans.

 

MELISSA

SHUT UUUUUUPP!!

 

COACH

Ow.

 

COLE

Boy, she's got a set of lungs on her, hasn't she?

 

COACH

That's what I keep saying! Finally you're opening your damn eyes!

 

MELISSA

I have some business to take care of. Besides, nobody cares what you've got to say Leon. The only people in this arena who give so much as a half a damn about you are the fangirls just out of their training bras who think they've got a shot at you!

 

LEON

So?

 

MELISSA

Wha... you... look, you might as well save your breath because everybody knows you're not going to win the World Heavyweight Championship at November Reign. Everybody. Face it, you're a mess. Your life is PATHETIC. Tell me, what hurt worse, when I kicked you in the balls or when Maggie finally saw sense and kicked you to the curb!? Or maybe it was when my man, The R-Man, kicked your ass and beat you inside a Steel Cage? You're pathetic Leon and that's why you're going to lose to Tha Puerto Rican at November Reign! You'll never win 'The Big One'. That's why I'm offering my complete support to Tha Puerto Rican in the World Title match this Sunday. And when he kicks your ass, The Deadly Alliance are going to extend our support even further... and offer Tha Puerto Rican a spot in the group.

 

COLE

WHAT!?

 

Leon stifles a laugh, as Melissa glares at the crowd again.

 

MELISSA

We're officially inviting Tha Puerto Rican to join The Deadly Alliance, because I like his new attitude as of late. Anybody who treats you with the contempt he does is fine by me. I just know he'd fit in with The Deadly Alliance. We all do. And the reason Alfdogg isn't out here extending the offer himself is... well, because he still hates PRL...

 

COLE

Yeah, no kidding.

 

MELISSA

...BUT, I hope Alf and PRL will learn to work together in harmony. Infact, I'll make sure of it.

 

Finally, Leon has had enough and holds up a hand to stop Melissa, still chuckling a little under his breath.

 

LEON

Whoo... wow, you're a real piece of work, aren't you? First of all, my ears are still ringing a little bit so I'm not sure I caught all of that. But, I've got to ask, when did you become the orracal of professional wrestling all of a sudden? That's orracal, by the way. You're something similar, don't get me wrong, but I don't understand what your business is commenting on the World Title scene. You don't know me. You don't know PRL. And if you're sleeping with Reject, unless you've got access to Malaysia's 'toybox', I'm betting you know very little about having 'The Big One'.

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

LEON

Exactly. As far as The Deadly Alliance goes, I thi...

 

 

 

LANDON MADDIX

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!!

 

COLE

Oh, great.

 

All eyes turn to the entrance way and boos slowly filter through as Landon Maddix of all people marches to the ring, microphone in hand, wagging a finger.

 

MADDIX

Hold on just a darn minute here! I don't like where this is going!

 

Landon slides into the ring and puts himself in the middle of Melissa and Leon.

 

MADDIX

Listen, I don't know which one you are and quite frankly I don't have the time or patience to memorise it, so I'm just gonna go ahead and call you 'sweetie'. And sweetie, Leon's right, you don't know a thing about what it takes to be the World Heavyweight Champion. You don't know a thing about Tha Puerto Rican or Leon Rodez. But I DO!

 

Landon turns to Leon.

 

MADDIX

And what'shername here is dead on when she says you don't stand a chance this Sunday night!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

MADDIX

You want to know why? I've been in the ring with Tha Puerto Rican on more than one occassion. And on more than one occassion, he's somehow fluked a win over me. And you don't fluke a win over me unless you're World Title material, trust me when I say that. Face it Leon, the reason you've spent five and a half years chasing Tag Team Titles and various bits of tail instead of the top prize, it's not bad luck. You're just not in the same league as me and Tha Puerto Rican. Don't get me wrong, you're a pretty good athlete. And you've been known to be entertaining sometimes. But that's not enough to reach the pinnacles that me and PR have. It's barely even good enough to get on Dancing With The Stars. We've seen and done things you can only dream of.

 

Landon turns back to Melissa.

 

MADDIX

And that's why I'm issuing an invitation to PR to join Cucaracha Internacional!

 

COLE

...has everybody lost their mind all of a sudden?

 

COACH

Not really, why would you not want the World Champion in your camp?

 

COLE

When the World Champion hates your guts and would want absolutely nothing to do with you, even if you and he were the last two people on the face of the planet perhaps? Just a guess!

 

Leon looks on a little confused, as Melissa starts to laugh.

 

MELISSA

Ha! Like he'd dream of joining 'Cucaracha Internacional'! The OAOAST's equivilent of a bronze medal.

 

MADDIX

I'll have you know we're an Internacional force. It only stands to reason the World Champion would want to join us. Especially since he's from some rundown island who could do with more international recognition.

 

MELISSA

Yeah, well, I offered him a spot first, so BUTT out.

 

MADDIX

How about you BUTT out, butterface.

 

MELISSA

EXCUSE ME!?

 

MADDIX

It means a woman who's got a nice body but her face isn't anything to write home about...

 

MELISSA

I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!

 

MADDIX

WELL THEN GOOD WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING!?

 

 

 

"THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..."

 

*DUN DUN*

 

"...IS..."

 

*DUN*

 

"...HERE!"

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Suddenly "Know Your Role 2000" hits and out heads the World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican lowers his sunglasses and just shakes his head at what's going on in the ring. Especially as Landon and Melissa suddenly stop arguing and both try to out-applaud one another for PRL.

 

COLE

Look at these two, trying to suck up to Tha Puerto Rican. This is becoming more and more ridiculous every second, don't you agree Coach... Coach? Where'd he go!?

 

As Coach runs for the exits, PRL enters the ring and demands a microphone from ringside. He and Leon exchange a brief stare, before the Champ begins to notice the applause.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Would anyone mind telling me what in the holiest of hells is going on out here!?

 

MADDIX

Woah, calm down friend, calm down. Me and the girl were just filling this jabroni in on what's going to happen on Sunday night, when you lay the smackdown on his ass and retain your title, smell it?

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

First of all, don't ever do that again.

 

Landon mouths the words "do what?", either oblivious or terrible at acting oblivious.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Second of all...

 

MELISSA

Honey, hold on just a second. Don't worry about these two idiots. I don't know if you heard, but what I came out here for was to make a little proposition. And seeing as you're here, I can make it face to face. See, everybody knows you're going to win at November Reign and what I'm suggesting is that afterwards, you protect your assets by joining up with the most dominant force in the OAOAST, The Deadly Alliance. It's very much in your interests to do so.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Is that so?

 

MELISSA

Oh, absolutely. Look at it, we've got the US Title, the Tag Team Titles, the Heartland Title...

 

MADDIX

You haven't got the Six Man Titles! We have!

 

MELISSA

...as I was saying, we've got all the important titles in the OAOAST. You join up with us and we'll all but control the entire OAOAST.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Well, that does sound kinda tempting, I will admit that. Answer me one question though. Do you have a healthplan?

 

Cue confused looks all around.

 

MELISSA

Well... no, we don't, besides the company one.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

So, basically, what you're telling me is, you don't have a Deadly healthplan?

 

MELISSA

Not as such.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

So, you can't be sure just how many sexually transmitted diseases you're carrying?

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Melissa's eyes widen in shock, shock and outrage, with both Landon and Leon enjoying a laugh at her expense.

 

MELISSA

I... I can't believe you...

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Seriously, how Leon could have slept with you is beyond me.

 

LEON

Actually, I didn't. I mean, I dated Maggie and enjoyed an enjoyable night with Molly, of course there was Alix a long time ago and Crystal always had a thing for me, then there's Melody although we've always been just friends, plus I was a pornstar for a few years before I got into pro wrestling. But, come on, even I have standards.

 

MELISSA

I HATE YOU... I HATE YOU BOTH... I HAAAATTEEEE YYOUUUU!!!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Look, I'm just gonna cut right to the chase. I was with Lindsay Gonzalez for years and every single day of my life I lived in fear of waking up one morning and feeling a burning sensation when I peed. Tha Puerto Rican will not live in fear like that again.

 

COLE

Oh, my!

 

Heard enough, Melissa leaves the ring and covers her face as she runs to the back, cheered on her way by the unsympathetic Baltimore fans. As Melissa leaves, PRL just kinda shrugs as if he doesn't know what's wrong with her.

 

LEON

You know, he's got a point. You can never be too careful when taking women like you up on their 'propositions' nowadays, it's just not worth the medical fees.

 

MADDIX

Yeah, I know! I mean, this one chick I met once, stunning on the outside, great rack, but once we made it to the bedroom, talk about a horror show! It was like chemical warfare had broken out south of the border! So I was like, "listen, I don't think we should rush into anything" and I got the hell outta there.

 

Both PRL and Leon turn to Landon.

 

MADDIX

I thought we were sharing.

 

LEON

We weren't.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Nor will we EVER!

 

LEON

Just wrong.

 

MADDIX

Anyway, forget about that... that, uh, that should go for everybody... the point is, you made the right choice PR, Cucaracha Internacional and the World Heavyweight Champion. It just works, you know? Finally, Spain and Puerto Rico come together to rule the world. It's about time.

 

PRL raises an eyebrow.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

What makes you think Tha Puerto Rican would even CONSIDER associating himself with you?

 

MADDIX

Well, I just thought after you called the girl a prostitute you were gonna choose me.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Landon, if there's one thing Tha Puerto Rican hates more than dirty prostitutes, it's you. Congratulations. The fact of the matter is, I'm my own man and I don't need you, The Deadly Alliance, The Enterprise, The In Crowd, Panic At The Disco, Los Conquistadors or ANYBODY! I did the faction thing for four years. And if you ask me, it's overrated.

 

PRL glances at Leon while saying this, curiously.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

I don't need anybody watching my back anymore. I'm the World Heavyweight Champion and I did it on my own merits. So to all the hangers on, the lackeys, the supposed 'leaders', if you want to play at gang warfare like this is some sort of bizarre West Side Story, as far as I'm concerned you can all beat the living crap out of each other and I really couldn't give any less of a damn than I do right now! And if you wanna turn your gang on me? Well all I have to say is JUST... BRING IT!

 

Upset at being turned down, Landon decides to do just that as he tosses the microphone aside and charges at PRL, but PR is waiting and lands a punch! Landon staggers backwards and into a punch from Leon, deciding to get in on the fun as well. Another punch from Leon sends Landon staggering backwards again, into Tha Puerto Rican, who grabs La Cucaracha by the hair and tosses him high up and over the top rope to the floor!!!!

 

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

I think that was pretty emphatic.

 

Picking himself up, Landon insists that PRL hasn't heard the last of this as he carries himself off to the back again. Meanwhile, Leon starts to leave the ring... but PRL stops it, grabbing the back of his shirt!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Eh-eh, don't you go anywhere!

 

COLE

Uh-oh.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

So, here we are. Three days away from the biggest match of your life, and has anything I’ve said over the last three weeks sunk in yet? No, I don’t think so. Well, Leon, let me tell you one more time. Before we head into the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California this Sunday night, I just want to tell you one final time: you AREN’T in my league!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Leon Rodez, the closer we get to the match, the more obvious it becomes. You just can’t cut the mustard. Leon, in my 243 days as OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, I have been choked out by a 6’7” 285 pound monster, been pushed to the limit by a 6’6” 215 pound ankle breaking machine, been made a fool of by an OAOAST Original, and have been chased by four of the best wrestlers in the world today! I have fought the best. I have fought the biggest. I have fought the smartest. I have fought the most dangerous. I have fought the most charismatic. I have fought the most cunning. And I HAVE BEATEN THEM ALL! And Leon, you are NONE OF THE ABOVE!

 

“OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

You are a jokester, Leon. You are a makeup-less clown! You’re just a comedian who is in WAY over his head! If the OAOAST was based on comedic talent, and making the fans laugh, then you would have been World Heavyweight Champion many times over. But this is not The Daily Show. This is not The Colbert Report. This is not Late Night With Conan O’Brien. This is the OAOAST. And in the OAOAST, talent in the RING comes first! And in that case, you…can’t…match…up…to…me!

 

Leon just stares at Tha Puerto Rican.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

In a perfect world, you would just accept this and move on. But this isn’t a perfect world, so you can’t accept this fact of life. So, Tha Puerto Rican will just have to BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU ACCEPT IT! You’re not gonna win on Sunday, Leon! I'm not winning this for The Deadly Alliance. I'm not winning this for Cucaracha Internacional. I'm not winning this for The Enterprise. I'm not winning this for The In Crowd. I'm winning this for ME! THIS is PERSONAL! THIS is all about ME! Tha Puerto Rican is NOT in danger! Tha Puerto Rican is NOT in jeopardy! Tha Puerto Rican is NOT in danger of losing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Leon Rodez, there is a reason, a very very GOOD reason why people, they talk and they talk and they talk about why you can’t win ‘The Big One’. And of all of the reasons, Leon Rodez, Tha Puerto Rican tells you the truth: the reason you can’t win ‘The Big One’ is simply because…you are not that good!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

You’re funny, I’ll give you that much. But as a wrestler? UH-UH! You just don’t have what it takes! You’re not in my league! Tha Puerto Rican OWNS your roody poo candy ass! And this Sunday, at November Reign, Tha Puerto Rican will show the world that this is the truth, Ruth! And there is not a damn thing you can do about it! You little one trick pony! You can’t win! You can’t pin me! You can’t make me submit! You can’t BEAT ME! You are going do--

 

LEON RODEZ

SHUT…UP!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Tha Puerto Rican is shocked. Leon is more than a little annoyed with Tha Puerto Rican right now.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

What the hell? Don’t you ever, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS EVER, interrupt Tha Puerto Rican ever aga--

 

LEON RODEZ

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT…THE…HELL…UP!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Oh, lookie here. FINALLY, Leon shows some anger! Isn’t that sweet!? Well, listen here--

 

LEON

No! YOU listen! Just shut up for a second and LISTEN for once in your sad pathetic life! All month long you have been talking and talking and talking! Do you even know what you’re saying anymore!? I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had it up to here with you! You have gotten on my last nerve! You keep dogging me, insulting me, belittling me, and frankly, I can’t take anymore of this! You’re annoying me now! You’ve gotten under my skin! And unlike you, I don’t have a thousand and one catchphrases to pick and choose from to respond with. I respond through different more creative ways, usually. But this situation is special. I’m going to respond the best way I can: by beating YOU and taking YOUR OAOAST World Heavyweight Title in the process!

 

The crowd cheers.

 

LEON

You’re talking because you’re scared. And you’re scared because you know what’s coming up. And that is the end. The end of the PRL Era. The end of your World Heavyweight Title reign. And I know that that’s gotta suck! I mean, you spent 10 years chasing after this, and it’s all over in just 8 months! 8 months is NOTHING compared to 10 years of dreaming! But that’s reality, PRL! You’re going to be on the top of the OAOAST for not even a year! On Sunday night, a new era will begin in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And THAT is the truth, Ruth!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

You talk big, but you’re a scared little man! I can sense it!

 

LEON

All you sense is that the end of your World Title reign is near! So you’re trying to save your ass now!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

I’m doing no such thing!

 

LEON

Face reality, PR! The sooner you accept it, the better you will be in the long run! You think I’m not that good? Not that good, huh? Well, I’ll promise you this, P.R., after this Sunday night, you will never--

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

OH BITE ME, LEON! YOU GIANT PIECE OF MONKEY CRA--

 

Leon puts his right hand in front of Tha Puerto Rican’s face! Leon is getting more and more pissed off as the seconds go by!

 

COLE

I have never seen Leon Rodez quite like this!

 

Tha Puerto Rican is stunned by this. But he quickly goes back to being all snotty.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

So it’s like this, huh? Is this how you wanna play?

 

Leon sticks his right hand out in front of Tha Puerto Rican’s face again!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Tha Puerto Rican removes his sunglasses and flicks them aside. He steps to the left of Leon’s hand. However, Leon simply steps to his right, so that his hand is once again in front of Tha Puerto Rican’s face.

 

“LE-ON!”

“LE-ON!”

“LE-ON!”

“LE-ON!”

 

Leon turns his hand around. He then does the one hand motion Tha Puerto Rican didn’t expect.

 

LEON

Just shut up…and…JUST…BRING IT!

 

And Leon does indeed do the “Just Bring It!” hand gesture!

 

Tha Puerto Rican shoves Leon!

 

Leon shoves Tha Puerto Rican back!

 

Tha Puerto Rican shoves Leon again!

 

Leon shoves Tha Puerto Rican once again!

 

COLE

It’s breaking loose! It’s gonna break down again!

 

Leon and Tha Puerto Rican stand nose-to-nose, face-to-face, yelling at each other! The crowd is going nuts! That’s more than enough for security, referees and OAOAST Road Agents to run into the ring to separate the two men. The crowd boos loudly!

 

COLE

And here comes security, road agents, officials to separate these two! Josie Baker must have sent them out to make sure that the main event of November Reign goes off as planned, because these two are about ready to tear each other apart!

 

Referees, security and OAOAST Road Agents are able to separate Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez, but that doesn’t stop the two men from running their mouths, yelling at the top of their lungs. PRL holds up the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and points to it, telling Leon in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t have a chance in Hell of winning this Sunday night.

 

“P.R.!”

“P.R.!”

“LE-ON!”

“LE-ON!”

“P.R.!”

“P.R.!”

“LE-ON!”

“LE-ON!”

 

COLE

We just saw a side of Leon Rodez that we rarely get to see! But this feud over the World Heavyweight Title has pushed Leon to the brink! He WANTS to become World Heavyweight Champion more than anything in the world, and that is a surprise to a lot of people, INCLUDING PRL! And I’ve just been told that Leon and Tha Puerto Rican will team up in our main event to take on the team of Nathaniel Black from Cucaracha International and Sandman9000 from The Deadly Alliance! What a match that should be! Both teammates on BOTH teams despise each other! That should be an interesting match-up! Fans, don’t go away! We will be right back with more Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! right after these messages!

 

Security, referees and OAOAST Road Agents take Tha Puerto Rican out of the ring. P.R. continues taunting Leon Rodez as he is being dragged away up the entrance ramp. Leon is eyeing Tha Puerto Rican with a fire in his eyes that he rarely shows. Security, referees and OAOAST Road Agents are still holding Leon Rodez back in the ring just incase he tries to go after Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd is still going wild. Security, referees and OAOAST Road Agents finally let Leon go as Tha Puerto Rican has exited through the entrance doors. Leon exits the ring himself. This is the last image that we see before we fade to black.

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

Commercials

Edited by Ed Wood Caulfield

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We’re brought backstage to the very gorgeous digs of the very gorgeous ladies known as Chicks Over Dicks. Why do you all still refer to them as that? They haven’t tagged since January. Alix doesn’t even wrestle. I HATE YOU PEOPLE! Anyway, Krista is spread out on a couch reading In Touch magazine, which not coincidentally features a rather large article about her ability to keep herself so young looking. She lies with her head in the lap of Alix who spends her time trying to blow the world’s largest spit bubble.

 

ALIX

Hey-uh, shouldn’t you be reading that scouting report Zack spent all night writing?

 

KRISTA

Alix, sweetie, I hope you never lose your sense of humor. Unless you leave me for Mackie again, then I hope you lose and gain a really big wart on your neck.

 

There’s a knock on the door, that’s pretty much worthless as Tyler Bryant enters without even bothering to hear the “GO AWAY!” he was no doubt going to receive.

 

TYLER

Hi, I hope I’m not intruding on anyone.

 

Tyler takes a seat on the floor and holds his down in a vague sadness. Krista takes a small notice, but Alix acts as if he’s stricken with a serious depression.

 

ALIX

You seem kinda down, dude. What’s wrong?

 

TYLER

Its Shayne injury, I guess. He’s gonna be out for a while, and the whole thing is weighing on me, Miss Alix. We were so great together, I knew we had the titles in our future, and now this. I don’t know why it had to happen. Why now?

 

ALIX

Sometimes like bad stuff happens to good people. What I’m trynna say is ya know maybe these good people aren’t all that good. Like Martin Luther King, we think he’s all dope and stuff because he fought really hard in the 60’s to have his birthday recognized as a national holiday, and promoted the hell out of Mike Tyson fights, and he got shot. And we think “Oh that sucks” Well, ya know what, what if Martin Luther King was raiding hospital nursery’s and stealing babies to raise them as super soldiers to use in his quest to overthrow the united states government? What then? Are we gonna say its bad he got shot? So, dude, what if Shayne was jacking little babies? No Pedo. Well, hospitals are wheelchair accessible so he can still get in there, but it’ll definitely slow them down.

 

Amazingly, Tyler actually stops to consider Alix’s idea.

 

TYLER

Nah, Shayne hates hospitals. He has a gag reaction whenever we watch House. I don’t know it just sucks without Shayne around. I feel so lost. We do everything together.

 

ALIX

Do you pee together?

 

TYLER

No, can’t say that we do.

 

ALIX

Then there ya go,TyTy! Just treat every moment like your peeing. Life handed ya lemons so make some lemonade, and pee in it.

 

TYLER

I can’t just go pee in lemonade like that. I need my buddy around. He and I have been tight since we were little kids. I’m just not Tyler without him.

 

ALIX

Then don’t be Tyler! Like, be someone else. You gotta emulate someone, someone really cool. Like Jumbo! Yeah! Jumbo is an awesome dude, and mainly because his name describes his key characteristic. Krissy, dontcha think every one should do that?

 

KRISTA

I don’t know if I’d like to go through my life being referred to as “GIGANTIC BOOBS!” its bad enough Melody signed me up in xbox live with that username.

 

ALIX

And what about Christian Wright. Poor guy would be known as “I CONTRACTED ORAL WARTS FROM ANONYMOUS HOOK UPS AT REDNECK BIKER BARS ” So, anyway, be like Jumbo! He’s cool, he rules, he’s awesome!

 

JUMBO (peering in through the door)

Alix, I couldn’t help but overhearing, and thank you so much for the compl-

 

ALIX

Hey get lost, dorkface!

 

JUMBO

But I’m-

 

ALIX

A dorkface that I’m telling to get lost! Shoe shoe!

 

Confused, and understandably so, Jumbo exits just as quickly as he entered.

 

ALIX

Jeez, some people are such losers. TyTy, don’t be like whoever that guy was he sucks.

 

Krista finally decides to take pity on poor Tyler and spare him any more Alix’s well intentioned but very bad advice.

 

KRISTA

Oh, honey, look, you have a choice; you can either give up right now, and go back to Michigan until Shayne comes back. Or you can make the best out of a pretty crappy situation and become the singles star fate has destined you to be. And trust me we’ve all been to Michigan, and I’d rather shrink myself and do a deep sea dive through Terry Taylor’s urethra.

 

ALIX

Sounds like a romantic evening!

 

KRISTA

Yes I know life is hard without Shayne. Honey, I get that. When my collection of shot glasses got broken by the fact that Terry is an incompetent buffoon incapable of performing the simplest task such as rearranging and renovating my entire house to fit modern Victorian archhceiture, I thought I’d never take a shot of Brandy from between Alix’s breasts again. Do you know what happened two days later? The doctor told me if I didn’t cut back on my alcohol intake I’d die of liver disease. And you know what happened three days later? I got new shot glasses and I’ve been taking boobie shots ever since. Tyler, you’re gonna have to approach every day like its your last. If you die tomorrow, I hope you have someone lined up to burn anyone embarrassing porn before your parents find it, and you don’t want to have your last day on earth spent sad over your injured friend. I can die right now totally satisfied. I have two wonderful daughters, a loving if not clinically insane girlfriend, a fitness empire, a star on the walk of fame, and fame that will last long after I’ve been expelled in Heaven for kneeing John Wayne in the nuts because he’s an overrated, obnoxious, racist, homophobe that embodies everything wrong with American culture. I don’t want to bring you down, but would you die happy?

 

TYLER

I guess not. Death isn’t happy per se, but I wouldn’t be satisfied with the life I’ve led to be honest.

 

KRISTA

Then its time to change that, honey! And what have you got to lose by trying? Self respect?

 

ALIX

Irrelevant!

 

KRISTA

Pride?

 

ALIX

Who needs it!

 

KRISTA

Dignity?

 

ALIX

Useless! You’re in the OAOAST you signed that away along with your right to your gimmick, name, health insurance, pension and ability to walk when your 40.

 

KRISTA

So, do you see what I’m driving at? What have you got to lose? Your boy Leon is 450 splash away from becoming a world champion. If that bum ass pile of maggot ridden crap can win a world title, someone who isn’t a talent deficient blight upon man and earth like you can easily do it. You’ve got a bright future, so why don’t we make that future your present.

 

TYLER

Where do I start? How do I start?

 

KRISTA

Tyler, I look at it like this. I spend much of my time contemplating the various and painful ways I can exterminate the vast majority of the OAOAST employees. You might think this is healthy, unproductive and antisocial, and my therapist would agree with you. But, I say there are many here who are the shitstain on the underwear of life. I just want to throw a little Tide on them and run em through a rinse cycle. Is that wrong? I don’t think so. Someone has to check the bullshit of a Landon Maddix, a Theodore Moneymaker or a Mister Dick. But I’m only one woman with a very busy schedule. Photoshoot in Montreal, speaking engagement in Miami, video shoot in Maui

 

ALIX

Sex in a mormon church.

 

KRISTA

But, of course. So while I defile the faith of bigots, I need someone to back me up around here.

 

Tyler’s eyes light up with a delighted hope, as anything having to do with Krista’s “back” would do to him.

 

TYLER

Like a defense partner in hockey? Like on the Redwings there’s Brian Rafalski and Niklas Lidstrom!

 

KRISTA

Luckily I’m butch enough to understand and appreciate that reference. Yes, like that. Some people here just really need to have their day ruined. And if you good bring some darkness to the life of people who really deserve it, boy, would I be one happy, hot and turned on lady. Why don’t you start with your friend Spencer Reiger?

 

TYLER

I’d be happy to!

 

Thoroughly cheered up and instilled with a new sense of purpose, Tyler nods to the helpful girls and leaves the room to remake his destiny.

 

THE MAINEVENT

BITTER PARTNERS

NATHANIEL BLACK AND SANDMAN9000 VS PRL AND LEON RODEZ

THE MAINEVENT

 

COMMERCIAL

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Out the million dollar arena sound system comes Maroon 5’s “Makes Me Wonder.” The audience welcomes the song with a sizable pop that brings a broad smile to Tyler Bryant’s face as she steps onto the entrance stage. While blue and white lights flicker and flare around him, he removes his denim jacket and nods to his cheering fans before heading down the ramp.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring, from Auburn Hills, Michigan he weighed in at one hundred ninety six pounds, "Tremendous" Tyler BRYAAAAAANT!

 

COLE

From the suburbs of Detroit comes Tyler Bryant, trying not to taking the same nosedive the state’s auto industry has. His partner, Shayne Brave, suffered a gruesome injury against Spencer Reiger and Tyler seems to have sought Krista out for advice. And that does not bode well for the rest of the OAOAST!

 

Entering the ring, Tyelr stands at the center of the ropes with one foot on the first one and his other on the second. He puts a fist into the air and then blows a kiss to all the lovely teenage girls in TV Land.

 

“THE WORLD IS MINE!”

 

A powerful, and authorative beat from David Guetta’s The World is Mine replaces Maroon 5’s crooning. We’re taken on a fantastic fly through of Manhattan at its most luxurious and decadent, its vibrant nightlife on full display in this chic entrance video screen. Returning to the arena, the entrance stage becomes immersed beneath an overpowering cloak of flashing lights that alternate between passionate red and a bright white. A thin grey mist hangs over stage flooring that’s lit a seductive blue. On every video screen the message “THE WORLD IS MINE” is blazes across in vibrant letters. Inside ultra fashionable Affliction board shorts and an Ed Hardy blazer, Spencer does a quick little twirl before breaking into a few Justin Timberlake inspired high step dance moves. He leans back, runs his hand along his Ed Hardy hat brim, and smirks before throwing out the victory sign in front of his chest and heading down the ramp.

 

BUFFER

And the opponent…from the borough of Manhattan, he weighed in at two hundred and two pounds, he is the Prodigy, SPENCER REIGER!

 

There are mostly from an audience who know Spencer from injuring Shayne and scoffing at Tim Cash’s offers for friendship. But one man near the entrance ramp sees the talent behind the arrogance and shows off a “SPENCER IS THE FUTURE” sign to New York’s finest. The sign gets a smile from Spencer, and a pat on the back from the fan. But then Spencer rips it out his hand and tears it shreds!

 

“Don’t patronize me!” He yells back at the fan, continuing down the ramp.

 

COLE

Definitely not a nice guy. Not even close. There’s been some heat on him backstage for his attitude as well as not paying a visit to Shayne when he was in the hospital or even so much as calling him to see if he was ok. So this is revenge of sorts for Tyler, let’s see what he can do!

 

Inside the ring, Reiger doesn’t even acknowledge his foe’s existence, brushing by him and nearly running him over on his way to the corner. He heads to the top rope as lights rapidly switch from red to blue to yellow to white. Underneath this insane illumination, Reiger rips open his jacket to show off his expertly toned body.

 

The two made for Teen People youngsters circle each other with Tyler playing it cautious, but Spencer merely trying to outwait his foe into making a mistake. Finally, Brave lunges in at Spencer and is corralled into a lockup. The boys tussle over the hold for several seconds before Spencer grabs a headlock.

 

COACH

I hope Krista’s happy, she just set this dude up for failure on some Steve Urkel trynna holla at Laura type shit. That bitch is Stephan, and Tyler just Urkel-bot.

 

“RADICAL DUDE!” Spencer shouts, mocking Tyler’s sometimes used catchphrase. This doesn’t sit terribly well with the tremendous one and he tries to punish Reiger with a back body drop. But the rookie succeeds in flipping out the hold and comes down behind Bryant. He roughly shoves the boybander, smirking to himself over his showing. That smile is wiped off his face as Tyler whirls around to lay him out with a diving lariat. He then bounces off the ropes, but carries himself straight into a drop toe hold from the still grounded, Reiger. New York’s finest swings over to his foe’s side and captures another headlock.

 

“LET’S GO TYLER! LET’S GO TYLER! LET’S GO TYLER!”

 

Tyler fulfills his fans wishes by powering his way upright. Several elbows fine their way to Reiger’s lean midsection and end up shattering the hold. This doesn’t benefit Tyler much, though, as Spencer knocks the breath out him with a throat thrust. Ignoring the warnings of referee Earl Hebner, he takes hold of Brave’s arm and arm drags him over. Brave hits the mat with a booming thud, but still tries to get to his feet. His ascension is halted as Spencer sends a thunderous kick straight into his chest!

 

COLE

What kind of victory party do you think Tyler is going to throw Leon if he takes home the world title this week at November Reign?

 

COACH

Some warm milk, and a plate of oreos, followed by mutual masturbation at the hotel while watching Krista’s “FIT WITH KID: BUTT blast” workout DVD.

 

Spencer lays into Tyler with another kick that has the adored teeny bopper howling in agony. His shouts are silenced, but his pain is intensified when Reiger comes across his head with a final kick. Turning to a booing crowd, he pops an imaginary collar before getting the dirt off his shoulder. Once done aggravating the paying customer, he covers Brave for a fall..

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Tyler kicks outs and begins a slow crawl to the corner, hoping that he’ll be able to use the posts to spring off for an aerial move. But, Spencer turns Tyler’s plan against him and uses the ring posts against him; he picks him up and leans him against the corner to blast him in the face with a punch! As Tyler tries to recover from the incredible strike, Reiger adds to his agony with a scarcely legal choke. Reiger soon ends his choke before risking a DQ and throws Tyler across the ring. Bryant doesn’t even think to reverse the hold and goes crashing into the ring posts. Reiger is right behind him, ready to flatten him with an avalanche. But, Brave has enough ring awareness to delay his attack with an elbow to the face!

 

COLE

Certainly if Bo does leave the In Crowd tonight, you’d think there’d be an opening for a new member. And someone like Tyler has to have the inside track.

 

As Reiger worries and frets over his OMG SUPER HOTTIE~! face, Brave ascends to the second rope. He gives a fist pump to the audience, who returns the gesture with a rousing pop. But both their joy is soon eliminated, as Reiger knocks Brave off his roost with a springboard dropkick! The One Man Triple Threat lands safely inside the ring, but Tyler makes a disastrous crash to the ringside area. As his hands go to his knee, fans let out a paniced murmur all too familiar with the fate that befell Shayne a few weeks ago.

 

COACH

Two down, zero to go! Good work, Spencer. I know some furity dudes in pink leather that need to get dealt with around here. Hit them up next.

 

Coach’s delight is just a bit premature, as Bryant is able to shake off his leg injury and try and return to the ring. Disbelieving his foe’s strength, Reiger angrily shakes his head and marches over to punt Bryant back to the ring floor. But Tyler counters that attack by bringing Spencer down throat first across the ropes! The rookie staggers away, hacking and wheezing and promising revenge on his rival. The opportunity comes soon enough as Tyler slides back into the ring. Onto his feet he throws a punch at Reiger. However, the youngster slides beneath the blow and brings his foe down with a neckbreaker! With a sore neck Tyler presents no challenge to Reiger as he snatches him within a front facelock. From there he brings Bryant upright and raises him for a vertical suplex. But Bryant is too slippery for Reiger to hold onto and he slides down The Prodigy’s back! Not wanting Reiger to get a chance to recover his bearings, Bryant coils his arms around his slim waist in a rear waistlock. From there he rushes forward into the ropes and tries to bring his foe down into a rollup. But, Reiger clamps down on the ropes and Bryant is sent rolling backwards. He springs to his feet to try and recapture Reiger, but his window of opportunity has slammed shut and Spencer connects with a New York Knockout (running inverted bulldog)! Down goes Bryant, clutching his head, his vision entirely blurred by the fantastic attack. Reiger then goes for a pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

But Bryant’s shoulder comes off the canvas!

 

“LET’S GO TYLER! LET’S GO TYLER! LET’S GO TYLER!” the teenage girls get behind their crush.

 

With a hold on Bryant’s stringy dark hair, Reiger rips him off the canvas and tags him in the throat with another devastating shot. Stumbling backwards, Bryant falls into the ropes where he can barely keep his breath from disappearing. Reiger smacks him across the face with two crowd-angering slaps, before finally trying for an irish whip. The cruel slaps seem to have reenergized Bryant, and he uses his new found fighting spirit to reverse the hold. Bouncing off the ropes, Reiger is upended with a flap jack that smushes his fetching facial features across the ring mat.

 

COLE

There’s the energy that made D*LUX one of the most successful teams in the OAOAST!

 

COACH

That’s funny, I always thought they were the most successful Leon Rodez nuthuggers and Krista fanboys in the OAOAST. I had no idea they were an actual tag team!

 

Bryant has to pause to catch his breath, that sudden surge of energy depleting him of precious strength. Fortunately he remains safe as Brave has his own pains to suffer through; he rolls about the mat nursing his back and grimacing in pain. Eventually both kids return to action at the same time, but the slightly more experienced Bryant hits first with a boot to Spencer’s toned stomach. Doubled over, Reiger’s already sore back is further ruinated by a series of forearms from the former HI-YAH tag champion. After the third forearm concludes, Bryant grabs onto his arm and shoots him towards the corner. Spencer’s weakened back is slammed against the corner posts and he screams as though his entire spine had been shattered. Even though he’s in obvious pain, he still manages to slide out the way of a running knee!

 

COACH

Tyler ain’t hardbody enough to follow Krista’s advice. He the type of cat to find a used condom and a pair of panties underneath his girl’s driver seat, and when he goes to confront her about it, she makes him wash the panties and eat the condom.

 

Hobbling out the corner, Bryant has absolutely zero defenses for the elbows and headbutts Reiger targets him with. The audience tries to rally him with boisterious clapping, but its to no avail and Spencer drapes him over the ropes to pound away at him with knife edge chops. Avoiding a five count from Hebner, Reiger pries Bryant off the ropes and tries for an Irish whip. But Bryant again reverses the hold and brings Spencer in for a short arm knee strike that delights the crowd! Reiger stomachs his pain and cuts the short distance between he and Bryant with a charge. But he’s effortlessly flung over by a snap powerslam from the Michigander!

 

“YEAH-UH!” Tyler screams!

 

“YEAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

The extra motivation to keep the fight going for Shayne has to contribute a lot to Tyler’s survival in this contest.

 

COACH

And to not be sonned into oblivion by Krista. Don’t forget that.

 

Bryant picks his foe off the canvas and throws him at a neutral corner. He hits the ring posts and staggers out towards the center of the ring as Bryant charges off the ropes. But Spencer recovers just in time to take hold of Tremendous with a standing fireman’s carry! However his hold on Tyler is a weak one, and Bryant counters by bringing Reiger down to the ground in a roll up! Hebner drops to his knees and counts the pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

“YEAAAAAAA!” screams the capacity crowd as Tyler pops to his feet and throws his arms up in triumph! Reiger can’t belief his ill luck and lunges for the adored babyface. But thankfully Bryant is quick to get out the ring before any harm can befall him. Spencer is left to kick the ring ropes, and blame the referee for making a fast count. His argument is so vehement and rage filled that security has to pour into the ring to protect a visibly worried, Hebner.

 

COLE

In a few years that just might be an Anglemania mainevent! Tyler Bryant putting Krista’s advice to action and pulling off a huge victory in honor of his partner. But, will his good friend Leon Rodez pull off the biggest victory of his career and unseat Tha Puerto Rican at November Reign? We’ll see!

 

Tyler strolls up the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the audience in celebration of his first victory as a singles competitor.

 

COMMERCIAL

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welcomes back to the arena of the city I'm not even sure the name of. I honestly have zero clue where we are right now.

 

Into the Cucaracha Internacional locker room we go, to see James Blonde gearing up for Thankgiving Survivor Series action checking his trendsetting attire in a mirror. Blonde picks his newly regained Six Man Tag Team title belt up off a side table and models it in the mirror. In stark contrast, Faqu sits chewing his inquisitively. The relative calm is interrupted when in walk Nathaniel Black and Landon Maddix, in strong discussion.

 

MADDIX

...it could be worse. Anyway, I don't even get why you're complaining. On and on you're bugging me for a high-profile match. I get you one and still you're not happy! Are you English all this damn grumpy?

 

Out of the back of the room appears Megan Skye, with Todd Cortez seen lurking in the background getting ready for his match in his private, lowly corner of the room.

 

MEGAN

Problem?

 

MADDIX

No problem. Unless you consider me getting our friend here a spot in the main-event, against the World Heavyweight Champion and the number one contender a 'problem'.

 

BLACK

E's only got me teamin' with some garbage wrestler from Alfdogg's mob.

 

BLONDE

Sandman!?

 

Landon glances over to Blonde, who has stopped modelling himself.

 

MADDIX

Sandman9000, yes. Am I the only one who doesn't see what the problem is? He tagged with Cortez last week and there weren't any problems anyone told me about.

 

MEGAN

Yeah, about that...

 

MADDIX

In a second Megs. Look, the point is, the match is signed and sealed Nat, so you might as well just come to terms with it and get focused. Incase you've forgotten, you're still on probation, so how about looking at it as a chance to start redeeming yourself by knocking PRL's ugly head off of his shoulders?

 

BLACK

Incase you forgot, we won last week.

 

MADDIX

You didn't win anything.

 

BLACK

We're the Champs again, ain't we?

 

MADDIX

Yeah, thanks to me. Face it, you three didn't prove anything last week, except how much you're still relying on me to help you scrape out of trouble! By rights at least one of those belts should be mine.

 

Blonde quickly appears offering his belt, but gets palmed away by Landon.

 

MADDIX

By rights.

 

BLACK

Fine. You know what, I'll kick PRL's arse tonight and I'll kick Rodez's arse tonight. And if that poor excuse for a wrestler you've got be paired up with so much as looks at me, I'll ram those ridiculous bloody bandages down his throat until he chokes to death on 'em!

 

MADDIX

Charming.

 

As Black stomps off, Megan pulls Landon aside a couple of steps, which presumably means they're suddenly out of earshot. That's how it works in the movies!

 

MEGAN

About Todd, you realise what's going on tonight, right? This triple threat match?

 

MADDIX

Bohemoth and Blanchard, yeah. What of it?

 

MEGAN

Well, The Deadly Alliance are trying to tap him up.

 

MADDIX

HA! More fool them!

 

Landon goes to walk away, but Megan drags him back.

 

MEGAN

Landon, they're offering him a spot in the Deadly Alliance. Don't you get what this means?

 

MADDIX

I don't have to have him moping around anymore?

 

MEGAN

It means he might be able to get out of this contract we've got him under. Which then means he's out of our control. He can do what he wants, when he wants. To who he wants. Like you?

 

As Landon takes a sudden gulp, Cortez walks past on his way to the ring.

 

MADDIX

Hey, Todd, good luck man!

 

Landon gives Todd an enthusiastic thumbs up, which is promptly NO SOLD~! As Cortez leaves the locker room, Landon turns back to Megan and grits his teeth, clearly not liking the prospect of what he's hearing.

 

 

Edited by Patty O'Green

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From one stable the leader to the next, we head to an interview area where Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Alfdogg, who has a big smile on his face

 

JOSH

Thanks Michael. Well Alf, you have requested this time to make a big announcement. And what would that be?

 

ALF

Well Josh, I do have a big announcement to make. As you know, over the past several weeks, the Deadly Alliance has been in search of a fifth member to add to its group. Well, the search is over. I'm here now to announce that tonight, right here on Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~!, the newest member of the Deadly Alliance will be revealed.

 

JOSH

I don't suppose you'd let me in on it, would you?

 

ALF

Of course not, but I'll tell you this much: the Deadly Alliance's newest member will be involved in tonight's triple threat match.

 

JOSH

Well, that narrows down the field, then! But which one is it? Is it Cortez, from Cucaracha Internacional? Is it the disgruntled Enterprise member, Ned Blanchard? Or is it the Metrosexual Monster representing the In-Crowd, Bohemoth?

 

Alf strokes his chin, then raises his finger to speak...but then simply looks at Josh and chuckles, then walks off the set.

 

COMING UP NEXT

THANKSGIVING BLOWOUT

MULTI TAG TEAM SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH

NEXT!

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Final Ride by TRU plays, and Thunderkid and Reject make their way through the curtains, leading out their team of ten.

 

COLE

A tradition on Thanksgiving in the OAOAST, it's time for our ten-team elimination match! Let's go to Michael Buffer!

 

BUFFER

The following is a tag-team elimination match! Making their way to the ring, team #1! Led by the OAOAST World tag team champions...accompanied by Melissa Nerdly, and representing the Deadly Alliance...THHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!!

 

Uno and Dos...LOSSSSSSSSSSS CONNNNNNNNNQUISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTADORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRESSSSSSSSSSSS

SSSS!!!!!

 

representing the Enterprise...CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN and DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY...VVVVVVICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCE!!!!!

 

accompanied by Tony Tourettes...VINNY VALENTINE and BIFF ATLAS...PANIC AT THE DISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

and representing Cucaracha Internacional...the team of JAMES BLONDE and the Samoan Wrecking Ball...FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

 

COACH

Quite a formidable unit here, Cole!

 

As the squad in the ring preps itself for action,

by Collective Soul hits, and Team Heyross makes their way out, followed by their teammates.

 

BUFFER

Their opponents...first, here are CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSS

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

Doctors MAX ANDERSON and STEVEN PIGLEY...THE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

MARV and MEL...The CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIST AIR EXPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

MARIACHI and MORACCA...LOSSSSSSSSSS DIABLOS DE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

and the team of JUMBO and DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

 

COLE

But some impressive names on this squad, as well! A great match on your way, right now!

 

Both teams get together in their corner, and the camera focuses in on the Team Heyross side huddled up, as Quentin Benjamin starts up a cheer, with everyone sticking their hands in, then breaking.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Max Anderson stretches on the ropes, and is attacked from behind by Detective Bosley!

 

COLE

And Bosley with a sneak attack right out of the gate!

 

Bosley hammers away on Anderson, then delivers a BIG scoop slam!

 

COLE

Bosley showing off the power against Dr. Max Anderson!

 

Bosley tags in Uno, who stomps away on Max, then picks him up, and signals, before executing the SLAUGHTERHOUSE~!

 

COLE

One of the patented moves of Uno, that clawhold/STO!

 

Uno then climbs to the top rope, as Anderson lays on the mat, and jumps off...but Max gets the foot up! Max then rolls over and tags in Quentin Benjamin, who delivers right hands to the midsection of Uno, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a backdrop!

 

COLE

Quentin Benjamin in there now, going to work on Uno of the Conquistadors!

 

Benjamin backs Uno into the ropes, where Dos blind tags himself in. Uno reverses the Irish whip, then takes down Benjamin with a drop toe hold, and Dos drives a knee into his back!

 

COACH

Nifty move there by the Conquistadors!

 

Dos scoops up Benjamin, and executes a rib-breaker! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Dos picks up Benjamin, and whips him into a corner, then charges...but Benjamin gets a foot up, then comes out with a BULLDOG~! Benjamin then calls Moss into the ring, and tags Jumbo!

 

COLE

Jumbo now the legal man, look at this teamwork!

 

Team Heyross sets up Dos, and hits him with the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! Jumbo follows that up with the XL SPLASH~!!!!!11111

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COACH

And we've got one gone already!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1st elimination: Los Conquistadores

eliminated by: Jumbo & Deuce Deuce Bigelow (Jumbo pinned Dos)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jumbo gets to his feet and celebrates, not seeing CPA step in behind him, and when he turns behind, he gets hit with the GIGATON PUNCH~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

And CPA with that Gigaton Punch!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COACH

Yeah!

 

COLE

And just like that, we're even up again!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2nd elimination: Jumbo & Deuce Deuce Bigelow

eliminated by: V.I.C.E. (Christopher Patrick Allen pinned Jumbo)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COACH

Quick night for those four, Deuce never even got into the ring!

 

MEL jumps in and delivers right hands, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a flying forearm! He follows up with an elbowdrop, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

MEL then tags in Benjamin, who whips CPA into the ropes, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! CPA rolls into his corner, where he tags in Bosley. Bosley takes his time, then ties up with Benjamin, easily backing him into a corner. Bosley lays in some right hands, then takes him down with a snapmare, and tags in TK.

 

COLE

Tag team champs making their first appearance!

 

TK and Reject both hop inside, and make a wish on Benjamin!

 

COACH

Look at this teamwork!

 

Reject lays in a couple stomps before the referee puts him out, then TK picks up Benjamin and asks James Blonde to hold out his foot, and rams Benjamin's head into it! He then floors Benjamin with a European uppercut, and tags in Vinny Valentine.

 

COACH

And here's Vinny! Now it's a party!

 

TK holds Benjamin in a front facelock, allowing Vinny some shots, and steps out, and Vinny then tags CPA back in.

 

COACH

And now these guys have got it going, making quick tags!

 

CPA batters Benjamin with lefts and rights, then whips him into the ropes. However, he puts his head down, and Benjamin scores with a kick, then makes a tag to Mariachi!

 

COACH

And a good tag there, Benjamin had four or five guys tag in and out on him right there!

 

Mariachi is met by Vinny Valentine in the ring, and fires off right hands and chops, then whips him hard into the corner, and catches him with a backdrop! Mariachi then tags in Moracca, who comes in and hits Vinny with a dropkick, followed quickly by another! He then catches Biff Atlas with one as he climbs into the ring!

 

COLE

Moracca on a roll with those dropkicks!

 

Moracca then catches Vinny with a FAME-ASSER~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Moracca waits for Vinny to get to his feet, but stands too close to the opponents' corner, and Faqu grabs him from behind by the tights, and delivers a BIG headbutt right to the kidneys!

 

COLE

And look at that, Faqu from the outside!

 

COACH

That big headbutt right in the kidney area from the Samoan Wrecking Ball!

 

Vinny gets to his feet, and scoops up Moracca, then brings him down and hooks him around the waist...and drills him with the BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE piledriver~!!!!!11111

 

COACH

That's Vinny's move!

 

Vinny covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COACH

All RIGHT!

 

COLE

And another one goes down!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3rd elimination: Los Diablos de Fuego

eliminated by: Panic at the Disco (Vinny Valentine pinned Moracca)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Vinny then tags in James Blonde, who is met by MARV. Blonde gets the better of a slugfest, then drives a knee to the midsection, and rams him into the foot of Reject, and tags him in.

 

COLE

And now Reject in the ring for the first time!

 

Reject lays in a CHOP~!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

And another!

 

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

Reject then tags in TK, who brings MARV out and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a PRESS SLAM~! and tossing him to the mat.

 

COLE

And TK showing off the power!

 

TK covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

TK asks for the head of Faqu.

 

COACH

Look at this!

 

TK rams the head of MARV into the head of Faqu!

 

COLE

Very resourceful, using that hard head of Faqu as a weapon!

 

TK and Faqu whip MARV into the ropes, and drop him with a double elbow!

 

COACH

And how about that, a DA guy and a CI guy working together there!

 

Faqu covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Faqu picks up MARV, and whips him into the ropes, but puts his head down. MARV lays in a kick, then stomps on the toes of Faqu, before tagging in Steven Pigley!

 

COLE

And the first appearance of Steven Pigley!

 

Pigley meets James Blonde in mid-ring, and delivers some right hands, then whips him into the corner and charges, but gets caught with the feet to the face!

 

COLE

But right away, he gets caught, running right into the feet of James Blonde!

 

Blonde chokes away at Pigley, then tags in Reject, who stomps away on Pigley, then tags in Biff Atlas. Biff delivers some blows to the back as Reject has Pigley trapped, then hooks him and executes a SIDE BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Atlas whips Pigley into a corner, and charges, but Pigley rolls out of the way, and makes a tag to Anderson!

 

COLE

And the other half of the Love Docs back in!

 

Anderson whips Biff into the ropes, and he and Pigley catch him, dropping him across the ropes with a DOUBLE STUN GUN~!

 

COLE

And we're gonna do some Gurney Surfing!

 

Anderson covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Biff gets a foot on the bottom rope!

 

COLE

And Biff too close to the ropes, otherwise that may have been it for him!

 

MEL tags in, and whips Biff to the ropes, catching him with a big dropkick! He then tags MARV, and whips Biff once again, and this time it's MARV hitting the dropkick! Biff rolls into the opposing corner, reaching up for a tag.

 

COACH

Wrong corner, Biff!

 

Unfortunately for Biff, it's Charlie Moss who gives him the tag, with a big right hand! MARV then makes an actual tag, to Pigley, who delivers a chop to Biff as MARV has him hooked. Pigley then grabs Biff, and executes a FLATLINER~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COACH

No!

 

COLE

Looks like PATD may be a tough out tonight!

 

Quentin Benjamin tags in, and whips Biff into the corner, then executes a monkey flip, but Biff lands right in his corner and tags in Blonde.

 

COACH

And look at that, Cole, Benjamin outsmarted himself right there!

 

Benjamin and Blonde tie up, and Blonde goes right to the eyes, then grabs a front facelock and brings him into the corner, where he tags in TK.

 

COLE

And now a matchup of TK and Reject against Team Heyross, just what the people wanted to see! Of course, it's when Benjamin's hurting!

 

TK hammers on the back, then tags in Reject, who does the same. Reject executes an arm-wringer on Benjamin, and floors him with a spin-kick! He then steps over him, facing his legs.

 

COACH

Uh-oh, here comes the R-Lock!

 

Reject grabs the legs, crosses them, and then starts to turn him over for the R-LOCK~!!!!!11111, but Moss interjects with a clothesline!

 

COACH

Come on, get him out of there, ref!

 

The referee forces Moss out, as Reject rolls over and tags in Vinny. Vinny delivers right hands, then executes a gutwrench suplex! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Vinny then picks up Benjamin and lifts him for an atomic drop, but Benjamin slips behind the back, and floors him with a superkick, then tags in Moss!

 

COLE

And now Charlie Moss in the ring!

 

Moss hooks Vinny, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! He follows up with an STO BACKBREAKER~!

 

COLE

Big moves by Charlie Moss!

 

Moss points to the top for Benjamin, who climbs as Moss lifts Vinny onto his shoulders, and executes the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

They got it!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COLE

Vinny and Biff are gone!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4th elimination: Panic at the Disco

eliminated by: Team Heyross (Charlie Moss pinned Vinny Valentine)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Moss and Benjamin celebrate, then Moss tags in Pigley, while Blonde steps in on the other side.

 

COLE

And now, 3 teams against 3 teams, we've got Team Heyross, the Love Doctors, and the Christ Air Express, against V.I.C.E, James Blonde and Faqu, Thunderkid and Reject!

 

COACH

One Enterprise team, one Cucaracha team, and one Deadly Alliance team!

 

Pigley trades fists with Blonde, with Blonde getting the better of the exchange, then whipping Pigley into the ropes. Pigley ducks a clothesline, then hits one of his own! Pigley then tags in Anderson, and the two floor Blonde with a double clothesline! Anderson covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Anderson picks up Blonde, but Blonde gets a thumb to the eye. He sets up an Irish whip, but Anderson reverses, and puts his head down, and Blonde attempts a sunset flip!

 

COLE

Blonde looking for another pin here!

 

Anderson blocks, as Faqu tries to come in, but is cut off by the referee, which allows Reject to come in and catch Anderson with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

And the Eulogy from Reject!

 

COACH

Turn around, referee!

 

Blonde rolls Anderson over and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COLE

And another team gone!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5th elimination: The Love Doctors

eliminated by: James Blonde & Faqu (James Blonde pinned Dr. Max Anderson)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

MEL comes in, and begins to hammer on Blonde, then MARV joins in, and they hit Blonde with a double dropkick, sending Blonde rolling to the floor! Faqu then steps into the ring, and is met with one, as well, which staggers him backwards, and then MARV and MEL clothesline him over the top to the floor!

 

COLE

And this one getting out of control!

 

COACH

No love lost between these four, after the recent six-man title changes!

 

The referee counts, as the two teams battle it out on the floor, and eventually converses with Michael Buffer.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...both the Christ Air Express and the team of James Blonde and Faqu have been counted out!

 

COLE

Tempers overflowing here, and both teams out!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6th & 7th eliminations: The Christ Air Express/James Blonde & Faqu

eliminated by: double-countout

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Several officials run from the back, and separate the two teams, eventually pulling them to the back.

 

COLE

And now we're down to two teams against one!

 

COACH

And this is not good for Team Heyross!

 

Team Heyross stares across the ring at V.I.C.E., as well as Thunderkid and Reject. Reject then backs everyone out of the ring, and faces off with Charlie Moss. A slugfest ensues, with Moss coming out on top, but Reject lays in a knee to the gut. He then drags Moss into the corner, and tags in CPA. CPA delivers some shots in the corner, then tags in Bosley. Bosley sets up an Irish whip into the corner, but Moss reverses, then charges, but Bosley gets the foot up, then tags in TK.

 

COACH

And this is what these four need to do, make quick tags on Charlie Moss, and before long it'll be over!

 

TK picks up Moss, and hammers away with European uppercuts, then tags in Reject, who executes a fisherman's buster! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Reject then tags TK back in, and TK wraps the arm of Moss over the top rope, then delivers some chops to the shoulder.

 

COLE

And TK now working the arm of Charlie Moss!

 

TK tags Reject back in once again, and Reject sets up Moss for a suplex. However, Moss blocks, and executes one of his own!

 

COLE

Moss needs to make a tag here, or I gotta think this one is over!

 

Moss crawls towards his corner, but Reject crawls over and grabs the leg, as TK comes into the ring. TK and Reject whip Moss into the corner, and Moss bounces out and hits them with a double clothesline!

 

COLE

Big move!

 

Moss scoots over, and MAKES THE TAG!

 

COLE

And there's the tag, and Quentin Benjamin in there!

 

Benjamin climbs in, and hits Reject with a clothesline! He then goes for a kick on TK, who catches his foot, and spins it around, but Benjamin hits him with a wheel kick!

 

COLE

Quentin Benjamin on fire, but how long can he sustain it against four guys?

 

Benjamin catches Bosley with a drop toe hold, but CPA floors him with a clothesline!

 

COACH

There's your answer, Cole!

 

Reject gets to his feet, and hooks Benjamin, as CPA kisses his fist, then lines up for a clothesline...but Benjamin slips out, and CPA clotheslines Reject!

 

COACH

No!

 

COLE

Miscommunication between the Enterprise and the Deadly Alliance!

 

CPA looks down on Reject, as Moss catches him from behind, and executes a reverse sunset!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COACH

Oh NO!

 

COLE

CPA was just pinned!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8th elimination: V.I.C.E.

eliminated by: Team Heyross (Charlie Moss pinned Christopher Patrick Allen)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

CPA rolls out of the ring, as Reject gets to his feet, and begins to shout insults at him and Bosley on the floor! As he leans between the ropes, Benjamin sneaks up from behind, and rolls him up!

 

COLE

And can he get another one here?

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COLE

YES!!!

 

COACH

I can't believe this!

 

COLE

Team Heyross wins it!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9th elimination: Thunderkid & Reject

eliminated by: Team Heyross (Quentin Benjamin pinned Reject)

SOLE SURVIVORS: Team Heyross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...the survivors of the match...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSS

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

Shine plays as Team Heyross rolls out of the ring into the aisle, celebrating as Reject looks on in shock.

 

COLE

A big mistake at the end, and 4-on-2 odds for Team Heyross turns into a victory! What a matchup this was!

 

Meanwhile, Reject rolls to the outside, where TK is already arguing with CPA and Bosley, as officials storm the ringside area. Suddenly, Reject takes a shot at CPA, as the officials immediately swarm in and separate the two teams before any major brawl can break out.

 

COLE

And tempers flaring between the stables here, as Team Heyross defies the odds, and survives the elimination match! Folks, we'll be right back!

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As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we find ourselves in the dark recesses of the arena. Darkness shrouds the majority of the scene, with only a chink of light coming from the main backstage area. Strange sounds can be heard, before slowly a figure emerges from the shadows. The imposing frame of Malaysia Nerdly stands with only half of her face in the light, enough to pick out a sick smile.

 

MALAYSIA

Three days... just three more days. Three days until I reclaim my belt. And three days until me and Jade are reunited. Oh, I can hardly contain my EXCITEMENT, Jade.

 

Malaysia chuckles menacingly.

 

MALAYSIA

You and me... in a California Street Fight. California may be your home, but this will be MY playground! No disqualifications... no stoppages... anything goes. Which means... I can bring my TOYS... just so we can have even more fun together, Jade.

 

Running a hand through her hair, Malaysia looks off into the darkness for a second.

 

MALAYSIA

I like my toys. And I know you do too, Jade. I just know when you were a little girl, you played with Barbies... My Little Ponies... Beanie Babies. So sweet and innocent. But, there's only so much fun you can have playing with dolls. I prefer... the real thing. When I was a child, nobody understood... they thought my toys were no fun... they didn't want to play with me. They took... persuading. But once they started playing with me and my toys... it was the MOST fun they could ever hope to have. You aren't going to need persuading Jade. I like that. You've already agreed to enter my playground. My very own barbie doll.

 

Malaysia looks off into the darkness again.

 

MALAYSIA

We're going to have so much fun, Jade... I just know it. But, I couldn't wait those three days. I just had to try out my new toys... to make sure they're just right for when November Reign comes. And I think we BOTH agree, they are.

 

Reaching out into the shadows, Malaysia grabs a desklamp and flicks the switch on. The light shines directly into the camera, before Malaysia directs it over towards the pitch black...

 

 

 

...illuminating MAGGIE NERDLY, who lays on the cold floor, BOUND AND GAGGED! The light just about shows various items lying around her body, but not in enough detail to really be identifiable. Safe to say, they've left Maggie pretty messed up, shaking on the floor with a noticeable bloody graze over her right eye.

 

MALAYSIA

I can't wait for you to join in the fun, Jade! :D

 

Malaysia's laugh continues to echo out as the lamp is flicked off and we see nothing but darkness, before the camera thankfully cuts out.

 

COMMERCIAL

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Fade in on Tha Puerto Rican pinning Stephen Joseph Popick at OAOAST AngleMania VII. This is shown in black and white. Cheery, happy music plays.

 

NARRATOR

Eight months ago, his dream came true.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS FINALLY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

 

All 100,000 plus fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum go nuts! Tha Puerto Rican bursts into tears! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing.

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner…and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 

COLE

He has done it! After 10 long years, Tha Puerto Rican has become World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican’s journey has culminated at OAOAST AngleMania VII! (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican has gone through hell and high water! But he has become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career!

 

Cut to clips of Tha Puerto Rican celebrating his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship victory at OAOAST AngleMania VII. We end on Tha Puerto Rican raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in the air with his left hand while confetti falls into the ring and fireworks explode over the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum.

 

Fade To Black.

 

We switch to color, and see highlights of Tha Puerto Rican's numerous battles throughout his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign: his No Holds Barred Match against Cuban Wall at The Great Angle Bash 2008, his Steel Cage Match against Vitamin X at the Big Apple Spectacular, the 60-Minute Iron Man Match against Brickston at AngleSlam 2008, the 5-Man Prism Elimination Match at the Halloween Spectacular. We then see clips of Tha Puerto Rican raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in victory after all of these matches. High impact, fast paced rock music plays in the background.

 

NARRATOR

And ever since then, he has remained on top of the OAOAST food chain, fighting off all challengers, and representing the company as it’s World Heavyweight Champion!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

THE PRL ERA REIGNS SUPREME IN THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!

 

COLE

The dream lives on!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

I have been the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion for 8 months now. And it has been the greatest 8 months of my entire life!

 

The high impact, fast paced rock music ends.

 

Fade To Black.

 

Fade in on a close-up shot of Leon Rodez.

 

NARRATOR

Now the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion faces his toughest challenge yet. A man who wants to make *his* dream come true!

 

Cut to a montage of Leon Rodez clips. We see Leon shocking people with his high flying moves, doing the 450 Splash, applying the Liontamer, coming to the ring being happy-go-lucky, entertaining the crowd time and time again. As we see the clips, we hear Leon Rodez speak from the August 7, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. High impact, fast paced rock music plays.

 

LEON (V.O.)

The only thing I care about in this whole situation is the World Heavyweight Championship. (CLIP) See, since day one I've strove to be World Champion and that opportunity just keeps on eluding me. I've never been given that fair shake. The chance to be the man. (CLIP) You see this isn't some sideline project, some merry little distraction to me. Unlike you, this is my LIFE! And yeah, my everyday life revolves around having a good time, about doing what I love, about entertaining these fans. But my life's goal is that World Heavyweight Championship.

 

The high impact, fast paced rock music ends.

 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez having a staredown at OAOAST AngleMania V. This fades into Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez having a staredown on The Love Shack from the November 13, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!.

 

NARRATOR

For the first time in two years, these two men will do battle. And it will be for the richest prize in the industry!

 

Cut to a close-up of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt.

 

Cut to clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez in action. Cut to clips of the brawl between the two men on The Love Shack from the November 13, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. High impact, fast paced CLASSICAL MUZAK~! plays in the background.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

the thought that my World Heavyweight Title reign could come to an end at the hands of Leon freakin' Rodez is quite laughable. And in fact, it's downright INSULTING!

 

LEON (V.O.)

But if you keep prodding and probing, you're gonna find out that I am far from a joke. If you keep tugging on the tiger's tail, eventually it'll bite back.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

Leon Rodez, for all of your talent...you are just not in my league.

 

LEON (V.O.)

But don't kid yourself, because I've worked damn hard to be where I am as well!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

You're not World Championship material! You're a joke!

 

LEON (V.O.)

the joke will be squarely on you, when you're forced to eat your words and watch me take that OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship away from you!

 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican posing in front of a bunch of lights, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his right hand.

 

NARRATOR

Tha Puerto Rican

 

Cut to Leon Rodez posing in front of a bunch of lights with a smile on his face.

 

NARRATOR

vs. Leon Rodez

 

Cut to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt placed on a red pillow on a pedestal.

 

NARRATOR

for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!

 

Cut to more clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez in action.

 

NARRATOR

In what might possibly be the most important match of both men’s careers!

 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking on The Love Shack from the November 13, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is my heart, my mind, my body, my soul. It is my motivation. My wife. My son. My daughter. My pet. It is MY LIFE! And I cannot live without it! (CLIP) Leon Rodez DOESN'T win World Heavyweight Championships! And that's just the way it is!

 

LEON (V.O.)

It's gonna be my first OAOAST World Title Match in... well, gee, I don't know how long. You'd think with how rarely I've been getting them I'd remember such things. But it's been awhile, that's for sure. And I am very much looking forward to it, as I'm sure you are too.

 

Cut to Leon Rodez winning the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleMania V.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

it took not one, not two, not three, but FOUR guys to hold me back while you climbed the ladder!?

 

LEON (V.O.)

you're still the same overbearing (bleep) I beat at AngleMania V.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.)

KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

 

LEON (V.O.)

The thing you need to remember is, my focus is on the World Title here and now.

 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez brawling on The Love Shack on the November 13, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!.

 

NARRATOR

The Thanksgiving weekend tradition continues!

 

The OAOAST November Reign 2008 logo appears on screen, along with information on the date, time, and how to order the show.

 

NARRATOR

It’s OAOAST November Reign! Sunday November 30th at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time/5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. LIVE! ONLY on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now!

 

The high impact, fast paced CLASSICAL MUZAK~! ends.

 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking to Leon Rodez on The Love Shack on the November 13, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

You will never win 'The Big One'!

 

“Big One” echoes as we freeze frame on this scene. The commercial ends.

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

* COMMERCIALS *

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botoddned.jpg

 

"If you are what you say you are

A superstar

Then have no fear

The camera's here

and the microphones and they wanna know

Oh oh oh yeah"

 

by Lupe Fiasco plays, and Ned Blanchard walks through the curtains, actually hearing the cheers of the crowd.

 

COLE

And listen to this, a nice ovation for Ned Blanchard as he heads out!

 

BUFFER

The following is a triple-threat match, scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Beverly Hills, California, weighing in at 235 pounds...he is the Handsome Hustler, NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEED BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNC

HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!!!

 

COLE

Ned Blanchard earlier tonight along with Simon Singleton, named as the partners of Zack Malibu, Krista Isadora Duncan, and Bohemoth on the Dream Team, which adds another very interesting story to this match, where Alfdogg has guaranteed that someone involved in this will be introduced as the fifth Deadly Alliance member! So, can Bo and Ned trust each other tonight? Is one of them in cahoots with the Deadly Alliance, and if so, what happens Sunday at November Reign?

 

Ned climbs into the ring, and removes his entrance attire.

 

COACH

Boy, I can't wait to see what formulates out of this match, Cole! Ned and Simon have already turned their backs on the Enterprise here tonight, maybe Ned makes it two-for-two, and sides with the Deadly Alliance over Zack and his team!

 

COLE

Or maybe it will be Bohemoth, a former bitter rival of Zack, we've seen a lot of ominous hints dropped in recent weeks!

 

Oh No by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoahe Monch hits, and Todd Cortez makes his way out, also hearing the cheers of the crowd.

 

COLE

Or maybe it will be this man, a long-disgruntled member of Cucaracha Internacional!

 

BUFFER

From Hollywood Boulevard, weighing in at 226 pounds...here is "URBAN LEGEND" TODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

 

COLE

And Todd Cortez, of the three, you might argue would benefit the most from a move to the Deadly Alliance, or more specifically, a move from Landon's stable, where he's sort of been put on the backburner over the past several months!

 

Cortez slides into the ring, and starts jaw-jacking with Ned.

 

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

 

by Disturbed hits, and Bohemoth makes his way out, getting the loudest ovation yet.

 

COACH

And I think this is what's gonna happen, Cole! Alf hit the nail right on the head a few weeks ago! Sly's out of the picture, and you just know Zack and Leon will be at odds eventually over the World title, should Leon emerge victorious! Bo's going to jump off the ship as it's sinking, and swim to the refuge of the Deadly Alliance!

 

Bo enters the ring, and stands in the corner, as the referee checks Cortez and Ned. He then makes his way over and checks Bo, then calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Ned approaches Cortez, and the two face off. Ned then shoves Cortez, who shoves back, and a slugfest ensues.

 

COLE

Ned and Todd Cortez slugging it out here to start!

 

Cortez gets the better of the exchange, then delivers a shot to the gut of Bo as he approaches for a double axhandle, then hits him with a springboard dropkick! Ned then floors Cortez from behind with a clothesline!

 

COLE

And Ned taking advantage, after that nice springboard dropkick from Cortez!

 

Ned stomps away on Cortez, then sets up him for an Irish whip. However, Cortez reverses, whipping Ned right into Bo, sending Bo through the ropes to the outside!

 

COLE

And now Bo to the outside!

 

Cortez goes for a clothesline, but Ned ducks, then takes Cortez down with a side headlock. Cortez grabs a headscissors to counter, and Ned spins around and flips over on top of Cortez.

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Cortez bridges up, then goes into a backslide attempt. Both men struggle to take the other over, until Cortez spins around, and converts the move into a Northern Lights suplex!

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COACH

Nice counter there by Todd Cortez!

 

Suddenly, Bo re-appears, hitting a clothesline on Cortez, followed by one on Ned!

 

COLE

And there's Bo, with a clothesline on his partner this coming Sunday!

 

Bo lays in a couple stomps to Ned, then delivers a right hand to Cortez, and tosses him to the outside. He then makes his way back over to Ned, and picks him up, but Ned fights back with right hands!

 

COLE

And now it's Ned on the offensive!

 

Cortez rolls back inside, as Ned sets up an Irish whip, but Bo reverses, and Cortez ducks down, backdropping Ned to the floor! Cortez then takes Bo down with a drop toe-hold, and stomps away at him on the mat, then whips him into the ropes, backing into the opposite side, and hitting a spinning wheel kick! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Cortez stomps away some more, then delivers some European uppercuts, before setting up another Irish whip. Bo reverses, then attempts a clothesline, which Cortez ducks, but gets caught in a powerslam! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

BIG powerslam from Bo!

 

Ned starts to climb to the apron, and Bo meets him there, However, Ned catches him with a shoulder to the gut, then springs over for a sunset flip!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Bo delivers a foot to the gut, then tosses Ned back outside, following him out to the floor this time. Bo grabs Ned around the waist, and rams him into the apron.

 

COACH

I'll tell you what, for a guy who's supposed to be his partner in a few days, Bo's sure showing a lot of aggressiveness against Ned here! That seems like a Deadly Alliance tactic to me!

 

As Bo and Ned are still tied up, Cortez suddenly comes crashing down on top of them with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~!

 

COLE

Todd Cortez going for it all, and now all three men are out of it on the floor!

 

After a while, Cortez gets to his feet and rolls back inside, and Bohemoth shortly follows. Cortez pounces right as he comes in, delivering right hands on the mat as Bohemoth is face-down. Cortez then whips Bo into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Bo delivers a kick, then sets him up for a powerbomb, but Ned interjects with a clothesline!

 

COLE

And Ned saving, indirectly, Todd Cortez!

 

Ned then follows up on Cortez, grabbing him and ramming him shoulder-first into the post! Ned then backs Bo into a corner, and delivers right hands. He then attempts a whip, but Bo reverses, sending him sternum-first into the buckles! Bo then scoops up Ned from behind, and sets him on the top rope, then pulls him down into a tree of woe!

 

COACH

Look at this!

 

Bo stomps away on Ned, then backs up and charges, but Ned manages to get his foot out, and Bo runs into it! Cortez then rolls up Bo...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Wow, and there was no way for Ned to stop that pin! Fortunately for him, Bo able to kick out!

 

Bo delivers some shots to Cortez, then whips him into the ropes. Cortez ducks a clothesline, then attempts a flying bodypress, but Bo catches him.

 

COLE

Bo with all that power, able to just catch Cortez in mid-air!

 

Bo simply walks over and dumps Cortez over the top to the floor! Ned then sneaks up from behind Bo, and executes a back suplex, along with a bridge...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Nice move there by Ned, and he almost won this one!

 

Ned then delivers some stomps to Bo...and climbs to the top?

 

COLE

Ned going upstairs, here's something we don't see much!

 

However, as he gets to the top, Cortez climbs to the apron, and trips him up, causing Ned to crotch himself!

 

COACH

And there's why!

 

Cortez then steps into the ring, and signals for the end!

 

COLE

Uh-oh, could be time for the Riot Act Plus!

 

Cortez grabs Bo in a standing headscissors!

 

COACH

I don't know if he can get it on Bo, though!

 

Cortez flips over, but then Bo just falls on top of him!

 

COACH

See that? Bo was too big for the Riot Act Plus!

 

Bo delivers right hands on the mat to Cortez, before grabbing Ned and tossing him down to the mat! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Bo sets up an Irish whip, but Ned reverses. Bo ducks a clothesline...but Ned catches him with a STUN GUN~!

 

COLE

Ned with the Stun Gun!

 

Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cortez makes the save!

 

COLE

But Todd Cortez not allowing that pinfall!

 

Ned gets to his feet and takes a swing at Cortez, who ducks, and catches him with the CROTCH-DROPPAH~!

 

COLE

And there's that inverted atomic drop from Cortez! Maybe he can begin to mount an offense!

 

Cortez then grabs Ned, and executes a Russian legsweep! Cortez rolls through, and executes a legdrop! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Cortez then waits for Ned to get to his feet, and executes a superkick, sending Ned out to the floor! Cortez then catches Bo approaching, and steps underneath him to deliver an STO~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

COLE

Cortez VERY close on that count!

 

Cortez then picks up Bo, hooking him in a Dragon sleeper, setting up STREET DREAMS~!!!!!11111 However, Ned grabs Bo by the foot, and pulls him to the outside before Cortez can get the hold cinched in!

 

COLE

And Todd Cortez was going for the Street Dreams right there, but Ned intervened from the outside!

 

Cortez climbs outside, and hammers away on Ned, then whips him into the steel steps! Cortez then begins to pick apart the Spanish announce table.

 

COACH

Uh-oh...

 

COLE

And Todd Cortez going to work on our Spanish announce table!

 

After Cortez gets done, he rams the face of Ned into the table, then picks apart Cole and Coach's table, as well!

 

COLE

Now he's tearing up our table!

 

Cortez rolls Ned onto Cole's table, and the two begin to slug it out. Bo soon joins them, and delivers a fist to the gut of Cortez. Bo then climbs onto the table, and he and Ned join up, hooking Cortez, and suplexing him THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE~!

 

COLE

Todd Cortez sent through the Spanish table by Bo and Ned, the two men who will team up his Sunday!

 

As Cortez lays on the floor, Ned nails Bo from behind, then tosses him into the ring. He follows him inside, then attempts an Irish whip. Bo reverses, then attempts a clothesline, which Ned ducks, then the two hit heads in mid-ring!

 

COLE

And a collision in mid-ring, and everyone down once again!

 

The crowd begins to boo, as the camera cuts to the aisle, revealing the Deadly Alliance walking down to ringside.

 

COLE

And the Deadly Alliance coming out to get a closer look!

 

COACH

Well, this is it, Cole! We'll find out in just a few seconds who the new member is! And with Cortez out of the picture, you've got to believe it's one of these two guys!

 

COLE

Well, if it is, this is going to put quite a spin the Dream Team-Enterprise match at November Reign!

 

The DA stand on one side of the ring, facing the main camera, as Ned gets to his feet slowly, then delivers some weak shots on Bo, who is on all fours. Ned backs into the ropes, then Bo drops down, and Ned hops over...then gets tripped up by Alf on the outside!

 

COACH

THERE IT IS, Cole! It's Bo! I told you!

 

COLE

...I don't believe it.

 

Bo is still dazed, and is unaware of what just happened, while Ned lays on the mat, then slowly comes to, and spots the DA at ringside. He begins to shout insults to them, as Bo slowly gets to his feet, then clotheslines Ned from behind!

 

COACH

And Bo with the clothesline, after the distraction from his stablemates in the Deadly Alliance!

 

COLE

...

 

Bo then whips Ned into the ropes, and executes the EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!11111

 

COACH

This is it, Cole!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! Cortez out of nowhere makes the save!

 

COLE

NO! Todd Cortez with the save!

 

All three men are out of their wits, as Bo slowly gets to his feet, and argues the count with the referee. As this happens, Cortez backs into the ropes, and charges Bo, who sees him at the last second, and moves, as Cortez accidentally pounces the referee! Bo then spins Cortez around, and executes a SPINEBUSTER~! Bo then goes outside to check on the referee, as TK slides into the ring, and tries to revive Cortez!

 

COACH

Now what is this?

 

COLE

TK now helping Cortez! But just a minute ago...I don't know what's going on here!

 

TK gets Cortez to his feet...then hooks him from behind, as Reject pulls out a set of brass knuckles, and waffles Cortez with them!

 

COACH

What is going on here?

 

COACH

...well, they haven't actually done any harm to Bo yet!

 

Bo tosses the referee back inside, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! Ned makes the save at the last second!

 

COLE

And now Ned with the save!

 

Bo grabs Ned by the tights, and leverages him to the outside. From there, Sandman picks up Ned, and delivers a URINAGE THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE~!

 

COLE

And Ned sent through our table by Sandman!

 

Just as Sandman does this, Bo turns and catches it, finally realizing what's going on.

 

COLE

And Bo...I think Bo just now realizes that the Deadly Alliance is out there!

 

COACH

Are you kidding me, Cole?

 

Alf steps into the ring with a rolled up t-shirt, which he hands to Bo. Bo unrolls it, revealing the Deadly Alliance logo, then starts to smile. He then looks at Alf, and the two start to laugh together.

 

COLE

I'll be damned.

 

Bo then raises his head up as he laughs...and SPITS on the logo on the t-shirt!

 

COLE

WAIT A MINUTE!

 

Alf looks on in shock, then sees nothing but black, as the t-shirt hits him in the face! Alf pulls away the t-shirt, and takes a swing at Bo, which Bo blocks, and delivers right hands to Alf! He whips Alf into the ropes, and floors him with a clothesline!

 

COLE

Bo's not with the DA after all!

 

COACH

But...who is, then? Alf said it would be someone involved in this match!

 

Sandman rolls into the ring, and gets caught by a clothesline! TK and Reject then hammer Bo from behind, and whip him into the ropes, but Bo runs right through them with a double clothesline!

 

COLE

And Bo cleaning house in there!

 

Bo then grabs Alf, and signals for the EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!11111

 

 

...but as he picks him up, MISTER DICK slides into the ring, and nails him with a chair from behind!

 

COLE

Mr. Dick?!? What's he doing here?

 

Bo drops to his knees, as Mr. Dick lays in another shot to the back!

 

COACH

Wait, wait, wait, wait, Cole...look at the shirt he's got on!

 

Mr. Dick is indeed wearing the shirt of the Deadly Alliance, as Alf approaches him slowly, then sticks his hand up, and receives a high-five from Mister Dick!

 

COLE

Mister Dick is the guy! Mister Dick is the fifth member of the Deadly Alliance!

 

COACH

Well, Alf just said it was "someone involved in the match", and Mister Dick is certainly involved now!

 

Malaysia Nerdly, wearing the same shirt, climbs into the ring and applauds, as Mr. Dick picks up Cortez, and executes the COCK BLOCK~!!!!!11111 on him!

 

COLE

And the Cock Block on Todd Cortez!

 

COACH

And what about this now? Mr. Dick is now obviously the fifth member of the Deadly Alliance, but he's supposed to be teaming with the Enterprise this Sunday! Can those guys trust each other now?

 

Ring attendants start to make their way down, as Alf grabs another chair, and begins laying more shots across the back of Bo! Sandman tosses Ned back into the ring, as Alf then sets up the chair in mid-ring, while Reject waits for Bo to get to his feet, and executes the EULOGY THROUGH THE UNFOLDED CHAIR~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

And Reject with the Eulogy right through that chair!

 

TK sits up Cortez in a corner, then tosses a chair up to Sandman on the top rope in a corner parallel to Cortez. Sandman gets his balance...then DRILLS CORTEZ WITH A VAN TERMINATOR~!!!!!11111

 

COLE/COACH

:o

 

Alf then climbs the top rope, as Mr. Dick picks up Ned, and executes the COCK BLOCK~!!!!!11111, just in time for Alf to gain his balance, and execute the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

Look at the carnage left by the Deadly Alliance, along with its newest member, Mr. Dick, along with Malaysia!

 

Mr. Dick then grabs a mic from ringside.

 

MR. DICK

Good news, ladies...this Dick...just...got...DEADLIER!

 

plays, as the five Deadly Alliance members, along with Melissa and Malaysia, pose in mid-ring.

 

COACH

Mr. Dick to the Deadly Alliance now, Cole, I think you definitely have to say the balance in power among stables has shifted to the DA!

 

COLE

You'd have to say that, Coach, a lot of problems in the other stables right now, while the Deadly Alliance continues to flourish! What more can happen here on HeldDOWN?

 

LATER TONIGHT

BITTER PARTNERS

LEON RODEZ AND PRL VS SANDMAN9000 AND NATHANIEL BLACK

IN TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT

 

COMMERCIAL

Edited by Patty O'Green

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Roger Sanchez upbeat and vibrant

brings us back to the final show before November Reign

 

The scene is the Nerdliest Nerdly room in all of the Fortress of Nerdlytude. If you don’t believe me see for yourself!

 

rocks_1.jpg

A gaming area modeled after the batcave!

 

Transporter.jpg

the entrance is modeled after the star trek boarding area!

 

Sitting in this testament to the greatness of geekdom, wearing cargo pants and billabong shirts, are the Christ Air Express.

 

MARV

I’m MARV, and I just named my bong Barack Obanga

 

MEL

And I’m MEL and I just toked from a bong named Barack Obanga.

 

MARV

In no way, does the OAOAST, The Nerdly Family, or Barack Obanga encourages the useage of marijuana for any purposes beyond medical reasons.

 

MEL

Medical reasons are laziness, boredom, a general need to get fucked up, you’re parents are out of town for the weekend, or you just got fired and you ain’t got shit to do.

 

MARV

We’re the best, we’re the beautiful, we’re two thirds of your former six man tag team champions. And playing the role of Jamie O’Hara in today’s program will be the staple of the Nerdly family, our dog N00b.

 

hotdog.jpg

 

MARV

I know some of you will be like, get Jamie in here not the dog. F-u up the ass, we do what we want. What’s on our agenda for the day, Big Mel?

 

MEL

I think Melody uh…she wants us to speak on No Homo. Are you for speaking on No Homo?

 

MARV

I am for speaking on No Homo. That’s how its gonna do, that’s how its gonna roll!

 

MEL

Then let us speak on some No Homo.

 

MELODY (O.S.)

What are you doing here?

 

N00b

:o

 

Melody storms into the room, none to pleased with the presence of her older brothers. They aren’t moved by her shock and outrage and only offer her a quick glance. This dismissal only serves to stoke her anger.

 

MEL

I am impersonating a sea bass.

 

MELODY

Get out of my room!

 

MARV

You’re twenty eight years old, isn’t it time you got out of your room?

 

MEL

Pwnt!

 

MELODY

You guys are both jerks. I leave to go hunt lawn gnomes with my nerf rocket launcher and this is what I come back to. And the insults! Would you like it if I called you Harry Pothead? Or…or…Ken Slamcock? Would that be loads of fun?

 

MARV

No, those names are mean and hurtful. They kind of make me feel small and sorta worthless.

 

MELODY

Doesn’t feel so good to be made fun of? I thought you may have learned those life lessons during our countless hours watching Full House and Family Matters, but I guess the wisdom of Carl Winslow was lost on you both. It’s a shame. Now, go ahead and get out of my room.

 

MARV

Why should we?

 

MELODY

Because I said so and I am queen and ruler over all I see. According to Nerdly family by-law 823A Section 43 Article C I have supreme authority over this domain.

 

MEL

You got supreme authority over these.

 

MELODY

These what?

 

MARV

These nuts! You should let us stay, we’re not queer but we’re here…here for No Homo. You can do all the jibber jabbering if you want, we just want to partake in the gaming goodness. Please?

 

MELDOY

Okay that’s fair. Pass me a stool.

 

MEL

I would, but I just got off the toilet.

 

MELODY

I’ll get the stool myself. Sorry everybody watching for the argument, we actually didn’t have many toys when we were baby Nerdlys so were not the best sharing. Well, we did have slinky, but Malaysia straightened it and used it as a whip. Alright, so No Homo will be out just in time for the holiday season! And on our update today,

 

MARV

MEL, remember when we poured windex into Melissa’s ant farm and watched all her ants scramble to escape the flood of god’s judgement and they died a painful, slow and awful death anyway? Remember that?

 

MELODY

That wasn’t Melissa’s ant farm.

 

MEL

Are you sure? Then who’s was it?

 

MELODY

MINE! :firedevil:

 

N00B

:lol:

 

MELODY

You are by far the stupidest brothers in the world! Let’s just show some screens of No Homo, okay?

 

warfare.jpg

PPV POSTER CREATION SCREEN

 

MEL

That character model for Blonde isn’t accurate, bro. James only wishes he looked that respectable, cool, and normal in real life. Also, where’s Maddix’s dried semen that hangs off his upper lip?

 

N00B

:throwup:

 

MARV

Sony announced that they will be introducing a new “Smell as you Play” feature that makes it so whenever you interact with James in season mode you can smell Maddix’s ass on his breath. I look forward to that a lot. When Shaq first said tell me how my ass taste, Jimmy looked at Maddix’s but and said “Like a sweet Vienna sausage mixed with a finely aged Merlot”

 

rosterman.jpg

ROSTER MANAGEMENT

 

MEL

Not pictured is Nathaniel Black, receiving an outrageous overall score of 88! If I beat Zack Malibu and then piss it away by getting creamed on the curtain jerking Syndicated match for a month can I get an 88?

 

matchgraphic.jpg

MATCH SCREEN

 

MEL

I would do the digital versions of Krista and Holly without a digital rubber!

 

N00b

_nod__by_orangefruits.gif

 

MELODY

Oh man, we’re out of time! To bad! Imagine that. My entire segment devoted to trying to kick you guys out my room, further proof that brothers are just friends that haven’t become enemies that haven’t set phases to kill and evaporated you from the earth! Stick around in the coming weeks because we’ve got more No Homo and a lot less of these two. But, don’t forget to watch November Reign because we’re gonna put the hurtin on Cucaracha Internacional! They’re a couple of cockroaches, and we’ve got the Orkin Man on speed dial. We’re gonna squash those little bugs good! We are the dark riders of Armageddon! Look to the night in fear when you think of us!

 

FADE OUT

 

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The OAOAST Presents, Live On Pay Per View...

 

NRposter.jpg

***WORLD TITLE***

THA PUERTO RICAN VS LEON RODEZ

 

10 PERSON SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH

THE DREAM TEAM VS CLEVELAND STEAMERS

 

***INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH***

 

8 MAN SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH

DEADLY ALLIANCE VS BLOCK'S FLOCK

 

***WOMENS TITLE CALIFORNIA STREET FIGHT***

JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA

 

8 PERSON SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH

CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL VS TEAM BARON

 

10 PERSON SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH

TRYST AT MARDI GRAS VS DISCO DEMOLITION

"A reign of tyranny... a reign of terror..."

 

November 30th, 2008;

Live from Anaheim, California

 

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The crowd comes to life as "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company strikes up. Sweeping his purple and black robe through the entrance way comes Leon Rodez, looking a little pre-occupied with other thoughts still from what happened earlier. But Leon still slaps away at the hands of his fans on his way down the aisle, never one to disappoint his followers.

 

BUFFER

The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, he is "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Leon enters the ring with a quick flourish of the robe, raising a finger in the air to salute the crowd.

 

COLE

The World Champion and the number one contender, together in tag team action, just three nights from their November Reign main-event, when we come back!!

 

 

*COMMERCIAL BREAK*

 

 

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we find ourselves in the middle of Nathaniel Black's entrance to the ring. Tha Puerto Rican has already entered (hey, he came out earlier, we don't need to televise it twice, especially if it means writing it twice) and Black now climbs the steps, eyeing both him and Leon as they stand with an icy air between them.

 

COLE

Nathaniel Black, not looking particularly thrilled about this match tonight. Both these teams are going to have more than a little trouble co-existing, PRL and Leon for obvious reasons, where-as Black and Sandman, aside from their stable allegiances, are about as polar opposite in wrestling philosophy as you can get.

 

As Black enters the ring, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life.

 

Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature.

 

"I ask you please just give us/

Five Minutes Alone."

 

The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature.

 

"White America/

I could be one of your kids."

 

The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety.

 

"Final Prayer/

Final prayer for the human race."

 

The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits.

 

HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!

 

The crowd jeers as a figure punches through the curtains, hidden beneath two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them.

 

BUFFER

And introducing Nathaniel Black's tag team partner. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds. He is a member of the Deadly Alliance... and the reigning OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... SSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAANNDDMMMMMAAAAAAAAANN... NNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEEE... TTHHHHHHHOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNDD!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Sandman slides into the ring and rips off the bandanas, a sick smile on his face as he raises his title belt overhead.

 

COLE

So, main-event time here and right now I'm joined by Jesse "The Body" Ventura to call this match. Jesse, what are your thoughts on this one?

 

VENTURA

I've gotta question the wisdom of the World Heavyweight Champion competing here tonight, just three days before a big title defence, with a torn bicep. Although, he might not have had much say in the matter.

 

PRL poses on the turnbuckles, raising the OAOAST World Title to the crowd. He takes a glance back at Leon while doing this before he steps off the ropes. Champion and challenger stare at one another, the tension simmering, until they finally realise the situation they're in and settle into begrudgingly working as a team.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

As the bell sounds, both teams try to sort out who'll start. Easier said than done. Eventually Sandman steps out on his side. Leon seems to want to start, but PRL insists on starting, telling Leon that "I don't need your sympathy".

 

COLE

And the World Champion is going to start this match, how about that.

 

VENTURA

As the saying goes, pride comes before a fall.

 

Leon finally steps out of the ring and lets the World Champ get on with it. As the crowd get behind him, PRL and Black circle. Tha Puerto Rican adjusts the taping around his left bicep before they lock up, jostling for position. Feeling Black going for the left arm though, PRL quickly breaks away and backs off into a corner. A smirk forms on Black's face as PRL works loose the arm and tries to get his head together.

 

VENTURA

There ya go, that injury clearly playing on the mind of Tha Puerto Rican. And he's putting his big weakness out there for all to see, including the number one contender. I just gotta question the wisdom being used here by the World Champion.

 

After getting himself set PRL comes back out of the corner and locks up with Black again. Straight away, Black isolates the left arm and wrings it to a grimace from PRL. PR quickly rolls forward and escapes the wringer though. A shove from PRL is returned by Black...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...before PRL lays in a knifedge chop.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

Black chops right back.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

But so does PRL. Black responds with a forearm shiver, then goes right back to the left arm. Grabbing hold, the Englishman tries to force in a top wristlock. PRL fights against it, slowly but surely losing the power battle, forcing him to improvise. He lands a knee strike before reaching out for the ropes, using them to backflip out of Black's grasp! Irish whip sends Black for the ride. Up and over goes PRL with a leapfrog, then a reverse leapfrog, before taking Black over with the armdrag.

 

COLE

Patented PRL right there.

 

Rushing to his feet, Black rushes in with his forearm wielded and takes a swing. PRL ducks underneath though, carrying on off the ropes with his own, flying forearm! Tha Puerto Rican kips up to a cheer from the Baltimore crowd, then marches over to his corner and SLAPS Leon's chest!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!"

 

VENTURA

That's a tag I guess.

 

COLE

And Tha Puerto Rican with a very interesting look, as if to say "how was that?"

 

Point proven, PRL steps out to the apron. Leon comes in to replace him and an awkward stare between the two allows Black time to regain his feet and catch the number one contender coming in, grabbing him in a 3/4 headlock and torquing the neck. Manouvering around, Leon tries to find a way out of the hold and manages to back up against a neutral set of the turnbuckles. Referee Robinson calls for a clean break and almost gets it, only for Black to surprise Rodez with a headbutt to the breadbasket. Black follows with a European uppercut. And a second. An irish whip then sends Leon corner to corner. As he nestles against the turnbuckles, Nathaniel charges in and swings his arm looking for another European with plenty of momentum, but EATS boot!

 

COLE

The number one contender, in there with the man he beat to earn that honour last month right now. And looking to impress again.

 

As Black staggers out of the corner, Leon comes off the ropes. But Black shakes out the cobwebs and catches Leon on the rebound with a Lariat, the flesh on flesh contact echoing around the arena!

 

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

VENTURA

Wham! What a shot that was!

 

Leon sits up hurting, as Sandman calls for the tag. Black eventually gives in, bringing the Heartland Champion in on the attack with stomps. After working Leon over, Sandman drops a leg and makes a quick cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

Locking on a front facelock, Sandman pulls Rodez to his feet with some knees thrown in. Sandman then looks for a vertical suplex, but Leon floats over and lands safely on his feet. A quick right catches Sandman cold and allows Leon to hit the ropes again. This time he avoids a clothesline attempt, then goes through the legs of his opponent with a baseball slide. Sandman swings around looking for the clothesline again, but Leon counters with a Backslide...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Sandman is out and lands with a forearm to stun Leon. Sandman stays on the attack, connecting with a series of right hands before backing up off the ropes. And a spinning wheel kick knocks the number one contender down. Cover again...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

VENTURA

We talk about PRL and Leon, but Sandman's got a chance to make a statement tonight. We've already seen the dominance of The Deadly Alliance once tonight, just think what it'd mean for them to earn a victory over the champ or the possible future champ!

 

COLE

Things are certainly looking up for the DA, even if they couldn't recruit PRL earlier.

 

VENTURA

No big loss. They got Mr. Dick, didn't they?

 

Pulling Leon into a boot, Sandman turns him around looking for a back suplex. But Leon manages to bring his knee around and catch Sandman in the forehead! A second knee connects, fighting Sandman off. Off the ropes, Leon goes up and over with a sunset flip...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

Quickly up Leon sidesteps a charge from Sandman and catches him coming back off the ropes, armdragging him to the canvas. Hanging onto the arm, Leon is then able to drag Sandman across the ring, to his corner where a slightly more friendly tag is made between champion and number one contender. The two even manage a little teamwork, as Rodez holds Sandman open for a kick to the ribs.

 

COLE

There's some cohesion at least from PRL and Leon, but you can just feel the tension simmering after what happened earlier tonight.

 

VENTURA

They'll get their chance to settle that Sunday. They've gotta make it through this match in one piece first though and I think deep down, they both realise that.

 

PRL takes over with left hands on Sandman, before looking for an irish whip. It's reversed and the World Champion gets sent into his opponents' corner, where Nathaniel Black quickly takes a hold of him from behind. As Black tries to hang up the left arm, PRL nails him with a shot to the temple. PRL then dodges out of the way as Sandman comes charging...

 

 

...causing him to nail Black with an errant forearm!!

 

VENTURA

Uh-oh!

 

Sandman looks apologetic at first, but Black storms into the ring and the two square up regardless with the crowd urging them to go at it!

 

COLE

We've got problems of a different kind right here! No love lost between these two either!

 

Stood nose to nose, Black and Sandman start poking fingers... but before it can break down, PRL delivers a dropkick that clocks their heads together! Both Black and Sandman end up spilling out of the ring and to the floor. Out heads PRL too, to the apron before heading to the top rope. And as Black and Sandman pick themselves up, the World Champion comes soaring, NAILING THEM BOTH WITH A CROSSBODY BLOCK FROM THE TOP TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

OH MY!!

 

VENTURA

HUGE risk taken by Tha Puerto Rican!

 

"P - R!"

"P - R!"

"P - R!"

"P - R!"

 

As the three on the floor struggle to their feet, Leon steps into the ring. With the approval of the Baltimore crowd behind him he lines up, ready to take a risk of his own. Grabbing the top rope, he bides his time... BEFORE LAUNCHING OVER THE TOP WITH A PESCADO!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

And Leon going to join in the fun as well, wiping out everybody!

 

Rodez climbs off the pile of bodies and rolls into the ring, firing up the crowd again. On the floor, PRL sits up, having found himself inadvertantly in the firing line, nursing his left arm having fallen awkwardly under the pile. With a glare in his eyes he rolls back into the ring as well and marches up behind Leon, spinning him around and SHOVING HIM IN THE CHEST!!

 

VENTURA

Here we go, I guess the truce couldn't last!

 

COLE

PRL accusing Leon of damaging his arm, which I've gotta think was accidental.

 

VENTURA

Doesn't matter, tempers are running high and all it needed was a little spark. Get ready for the fireworks now.

 

Much like their opponents moments ago PRL and Leon square up nose to nose, despite referee Robinson's pleading for some calm. PRL is unrepentant and SHOVES Leon again, pointing a finger right in The Silky Smooth One's face, which he soon tires of and slaps away. Again the warring partners don't come to blows though, as Black and Sandman have rolled back into the ring and jump their opponents from behind! Black stomps away on PRL while Sandman does the same on Leon.

 

VENTURA

The referee's lost all control here. Utter chaos. And these people sure ain't complaining!

 

Out of the ring rolls Leon, with Sandman on his tail. That leaves Black in the ring with PRL, pulling him up and delivering a European uppercut. And another one. Black looks for an irish whip, which PRL manages to reverse, only for Black to stop at arm's length and yank down on the arm! A shout of pain escapes Tha Puerto Rican's mouth, before the air rushes out the same way courtesy of a scything Lariat! Cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Fighting to his feet, Tha Puerto Rican finds himself backed into a corner but manages to kick out at Black as he stalks in. Another kick fends Black off. But a third gets caught, Black pulling PRL out of the turnbuckles by the ankle. He takes too long to attack though, earning him an Enziguri!

 

COLE

The fight and determination of the World Champion!

 

Black staggers but doesn't go down, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs him by the head and runs him to the ropes. Up and over goes PRL, bringing the Englishman's neck down across the top ring rope with The Ricochet! PRL quickly rolls back into the ring and lines Black up, charging towards him. He leaps overhead and delivers the Lightning Shock, looking for the pinfall...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

Pulling Black up, PRL lands with a punch. A second. And a third. But Sandman re-enters the ring and clubs him from behind, breaking the combo.

 

COLE

Sandman from behind and you're right Jess, the referee struggling to get any kind of control here. I don't know who the legal men are supposed to be. And with these two teams, any hope of getting them to tag in and out like a team anymore is slim to none.

 

Sandman whips PRL off the ropes and delivers a Big Boot to put him down. The Heartland Champion the exits the ring and starts to climb towards the top. He only reaches the bottom rope though, before Leon Rodez slides back into the ring and nails him with a dropkick, sending him crashing to the arena floor below! Leon then turns his attentions to Black, ducking a forearm attempt and catching him turning away from the turnbuckles with an Exploder Suplex!

 

COLE

Wow, burst of power from the number one contender!

 

Popping back to his feet, Leon fires up before laying into Black with a jab!

 

A jab!

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

 

...just as Tha Puerto Rican delivers a spinning kick to the face to knock Black down!

 

COLE

Dodge THIS, BITCH~!

 

Hands on hips, Leon questions exactly what PRL's doing and gets a stream of abuse back from PRL, who tells him that "nobody cares about your stupid ass combo". The arguement between number one contender and World Champion doesn't last long though, as Leon rises above it. Walking over to Black, he kicks his arm across the chest and starts to pull off his elbowpad!

 

COLE

Hang on, this looks kinda familiar.

 

VENTURA

No kidding, talk about a slap in the face.

 

Leon does some funny hand signals... which is more than enough for PRL, walking over AND SLAPPING LEON!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

VENTURA

I stand corrected... THAT is a slap in the face!

 

COLE

And I don't know how much more even Leon can take of this!

 

Just as it's fixing to explode between Leon and PRL, Sandman9000 rolls back into the ring and charges. A timely sidestep by Leon leaves PRL to get nailed with the YAKUZA KICK! Sandman quickly turns to Leon, dodging a right hand and elevating him onto his shoulders, looking for the PSYCHO DRIVE... NO! Rodez manages to escape down the back, pulling Sandman down with a sunset flip...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

NO, Leon doesn't want the pin and instead gets to his feet trying to apply the Liontamer!

 

COLE

Leon looking for the Liontamer! Can he get it on?

 

VENTURA

Either way I don't think Sandman's the kind to say I quit.

 

Despite his best efforts to block Sandman gets turned AND PUT INTO THE LIONTAMER!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

We might be about to find out, Jess.

 

Rodez places the knee in the back pins Sandman down, just out of reach from the ropes. No submission from Sandman is coming yet though. He hangs on, long enough for his partner to come to the rescue, Black grabbing Leon and rocking him with a headbutt! Sandman rolls out of the ring, while Black pulls Leon back to his feet and sets him up, delivering the Half Nelson Backbreaker!

 

COLE

Ooh! That didn't look pretty.

 

Lateral press by Black...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

NO!

 

Jumping Black from behind, PRL clubs away with forearms, turning him around and delivering a forearm.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

Knifedge chop then rocks Black, setting up an irish whip. Tha Puerto Rican sets himself looking for a Spinebuster, only for Black to slam on the brakes and strike with a clubbing blow to the back to counter. Turning PRL around, Black looks for another Half Nelson Backbreaker. He gets the half nelson okay, but PRL manages to spin around in mid-air and wind up behind Black, catching him on the turn with a Double Arm DDT! Cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

The World Champion gets back up, waving Black to his feet.

 

COLE

PRL is set, coiled, could be looking for the Latin Slam, maybe even the P.R. Nightmare.

 

As Black gets back up a boot sets up both those options, PRL deciding on the former. Which proves a mistake as Black is able to block and elbows his way free. Staggered, PRL turns to attack but takes a boot himself. Black pulls Tha Puerto Rican into a standing headscissors and crosses the arms under the chest... but PRL spins out! Black throws a boot again, which gets caught. To add insult he then gets flipped off by PRL to a cheer from the Baltimore crowd, PRL swinging his opponent around and boo...

 

 

...NO, Black uses the momentum AND DELIVERS THE BLACK LARIAT!!!!!

 

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

What a devestating Lariat! The World Champ got caught!

 

VENTURA

You're telling me, he didn't see that one coming at all.

 

Black climbs back up and roars that "IT'S OVER!", starting to drag PRL off the canvas. As he does so, Sandman9000 rolls back into the ring. And he's not empty-handed, bringing in a steel chair...

 

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

...which he CRACKS Leon over the head with, in plain view of the referee!

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

No choice for the referee, that's a blatant disqualification! And I don't think Sandman cares at all!

 

Dumping the chair, Sandman ignores the referee's complaints and jumps out of the ring before casually collecting his title belt and walking off to the back. Black soon figures out what happened and looks shocked, marching over to the ropes and berating Sandman, convinced he had the World Champion in a bad way. But Sandman just shrugs him off and continues to leave.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has awarded this match as a result of a disqualification, to the team of LEON RODEZ... and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, THA PUERTO RRRIIIIIICCAAAAAANN!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

Steaming in the ring, Black gets on the referee's case who insists he had to call it. Black just shoves him aside though and decides to keep going anyway, as he grabs Leon Rodez and tosses him out of the ring.

 

COLE

Well the match is over...

 

VENTURA

Yeah. Try telling Black that though.

 

The Englishman kicks the ropes in frustration, before turning his attentions to JAMES BLONDE who slides into the ring, backed up in much slower fashion by Faqu. Far from being out to play the voice of reason and calm Black down though, Blonde points to PRL before stomping away at the fallen World Heavyweight Champion! Black looks confused for about a second, before figuring 'what the hell' and joining in.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Come on now, what is this!?

 

VENTURA

It's Cucaracha Internacional! And it looks like they're out here to make a statement after all.

 

COLE

For what reason!? Come on... first The Deadly Alliance, now this, what is the OAOAST coming to!?

 

As Faqu finally enters the ring, Blonde and Black continue the beatdown on PRL. Together they start to pull PRL up, ready to feed him to their Samoan Wrecking Ball. But suddenly Leon Rodez appears...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

...DRILLING Faqu in the spine with a chairshot! Leon then sidesteps and sends Nathaniel Black flying up and over the top rope!

 

COLE

Look at this, the number one contender cleaning house!

 

Over rushes James Blonde, right into a SUPERKICK!! The crowd go wild, as Tha Puerto Rican recovers enough to put Faqu up and over the top with a charging clothesline, almost going up and over with him from the momentum!

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

Leon stands guard, daring Black to get back in. The Englishman thinks better though and goes over to get control on Faqu. The number one contender waves them off and goes over to PRL, checking he's okay. PRL gets up from one knee with a grimace, as Leon turns his attentions back to Cucaracha Internacional...

 

 

 

...and takes his eye off the ball, PRL CATCHING HIM WITH A BOOT AND DRILLING HIM INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE P.R. NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

 

COLE

WHAT THE HELL!?

 

The crowd jeer the World Champion as he climbs back to his feet, rubbing his injured left bicep. He glares down at Leon, who is knocked out cold, slowly beginning to sneer at his number one contender.

 

COLE

That's some gratitude for you! Leon saved Tha Puerto Rican from Cucaracha Internacional and he turns around and gives him the P.R. Nightmare! I can't believe that!

 

VENTURA

If you ask me, those are the actions of a worried man, Michael.

 

COLE

I don't know what to think about that, Jess. Tha Puerto Rican hasn't been above this kind of thing in the past, but... I just don't know.

 

Taking his World Title belt from the referee, PRL continues to sneer down at Leon as he raises the championship over his head defiantly, a chorus of boos accompanying the gesture from the Baltimore crowd.

 

COLE

Is the injured PRL feeling threatened!? Or was this just a calculated strike from the World Heavyweight Champion!? Tha Puerto Rican defends against Leon Rodez, this Sunday night at November Reign, don't you dare miss it!! From Jesse The Body, I'm Michael Cole, join us live from Anaheim, California on Pay Per View!!

 

 

-FADE OUT-

Edited by Ed Wood Caulfield

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