King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2008 (edited) Boos ring out through the arena as "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship begins to play, leading out the member of Cucaracha Internacional. BUFFER This contest is a Traditional Survivor Series Rules Match! Introducing, team number one. At a total combined weight of nine hundred, fifty five pounds... together they compromise CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!! Consisting of, the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions... from London, England... NNAAATTHHHAAAANNIIIIEEEEELLLL BBLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Striding ahead of his team-mates a scowling Black raises a fist in the air. BUFFER From Vancouver, British Columbia... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSSS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEEEE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Another day, another trend, Blonde rocking a red beanie with the flags of Cucaracha Internacional's very own UN stitched onto a black rim in gold thread. Just don't tell him we're in California under bright arena lights and he doesn't need a wooly hat on, okay? BUFFER From the Isle Of Samoa... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUU!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde backs up a step and slaps his partner on the chest. Faqu follows suit and beats his chest, gabbling away in his native tongue as Blonde nods his head pretending to understand what he just said. The Samoan's third of the title belts hangs over his shoulder, until he feels a little peckish and sticks it in his mouth. BUFFER And, finally, accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! He is the leader of Cucaracha Internacional and the Team Captain... LLLAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rounding out the team, the team captain is doing his bit for morale by already shaking his head. Blonde's over-exuberant thumbs up doesn't really help and Landon is still a bit distant as he enters the ring. COLE Traditional Survivor Series action here with the members of Cucaracha Internacional, four of them at least, once again holding the World Six Man Championships but suffering a crisis in form if not confidence. With the fierce competition between the OAOAST's major groups recently, Cucaracha Internacional have been struggling to make headway. And losing the titles on Syndicated earlier this month contributed to that. COACH But they won them back within about a week, so it's hardly worth talking about. COLE Try telling Landon that. I don't think he's quite forgiven his team-mates yet, even the one who worships the very ground he walks on. COACH I take it you're not talking about Megan? COLE Hardly. With Landon feeling sorry for himself it's down to James Blonde to try and play motivator to his three team-mates. And Megan for some reason. As he goes around his partners psyching them up, the still nonsensical entrance music that is "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy fires up. Red and blue lights flash out, as an orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the entrance set-up and onto the stage. It lands with tremendous impact, nearly deafening those spectators unlucky enough sit near it. Immediately after the powerful pyro display concludes the lights dim to a troubling blackness (KC-CENSORED Patty-all of KC's snide remarks against me will be striken from the shows!). The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans downward to reveal the rugged man known as... uhm, Jamie O'Hara! Methinks this isn't what Patty intended when writing this intro in the stats! (Patty-no it wasn't! WTF!) BUFFER And introducing the opponents! Total combined weight, eight hundred and eleven pounds. Introducing first, from Birmingham, England... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIEEEEEE O'HHHHAAAAAARRRRRAAAAAAA!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The Birmingham Bad Boy shouts out to the crowd, encouraging them to make some noise. BUFFER His partners are accompanied by MELODY NERDLY! First, the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHHRRIIISSTT AAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR... EEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEEESSSSSSSSSS!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL rush out and hit their leaping high-five, before tagging hands down the aisle. At first Melody follows them, but leaves them hanging in favour of hooking up with a big, burly Texan. That's sisters for you. BUFFER And, the captain of the team... "THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN... WWWWIIIIIIIINNDDEEEEEEEELLLLLLSSSSSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Finally the entrance makes sense as big Baron walks out, high-fiving Melody who jumps like her brothers. The gentlemanly Baron lets Melody climbs the steps ahead of him as they reach the ring. Baron then climbs to the top rope and raises his arms, with Melody mimicking his actions with an imaginary Wiimote. COLE It will be revenge on the minds of Jamie O'Hara and The Christ Air Express, after they were robbed of the OAOAST Six Man Championships just 11 days after winning them. And the addition of big Baron Windels to the team by Melody Nerdly will definately help the three aerial specialists against the impact of Black and the size Faqu. High-fives go all around Baron's team, before they enter a huddle. As Baron leads the talk, Blonde tries to get a similar huddle going. Problem is Maddix is already out on the apron and Megan is on the floor. Plus Faqu is hardly the huddling type. And neither is Black, who shrugs his annoying partner away and points him to the ring apron. COLE Well in theory Cucaracha Internacional should have the advantage in terms of team continuity. But that theory doesn't take in what's happened the past few months. Cracks starting to show in Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Don't read too much into that. There's just some volatile personalities involved, there's bound to be a few fallouts. COLE Some volatile egos too. Finally Team Baron break and Jamie O'Hara stays in to start for his team. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Bell sounds and look at who we've got starting. The two Englishman, the two warring Englishmen, Black and O'Hara. COACH These two could fight every day for the rest of their lives and they'd still be swapping punches outside the gates to English heaven. COLE English heaven? COACH Yeah, in my idea of heaven, all the countries are kept apart. I ain't sharing cloud space with no stinkin' Belgian! Bizarre religious theories are set aside, as Black and O'Hara square up in the centre of the ring. Heads touching they start butting at each other, before breaking away and locking up. Black takes the wrist and wrings Jamie's arm then torques it the other way to force O'Hara down to the mat. Top wristlock applied, Black drops a knee onto the point of the elbow! Away rolls O'Hara letting out a shout of pain with Black right on his tail. Black drags O'Hara away from the ropes and controls the arm again, dropping a knee to the inside of the elbow this time, then putting a keylock on it. COACH There you go. Finding himself trapped on the mat, O'Hara tries to kick at Black but both attempts are avoided. So O'Hara fights to his feet, only for Black to use the keylock to drag O'Hara over and back to the canvas. COLE Black trying to keep this on the mat. Whether he respects it or not, he has to recognise O'Hara's ability to use his speed and agility. O'Hara gets to his feet again, making it easier for him to kick. He catches Black in the gut a couple of times, then jumps onto the middle rope. Black loses hold, allowing O'Hara to pull him down with an armdrag! Quickly back to his feet Black swings at O'Hara, who ducks underneath the clothesline and comes off the ropes with a dropkick. Not going down, Black falls against the ropes but comes right back at O'Hara and snares him with another armbar. O'Hara spins out though and leaps onto Black's shoulders, looking for a victory roll... 1... 2... No! Another swing and a miss with a clothesline, O'Hara springing off the middle turnbuckle. But Black sidesteps the moonsault backwards... and NAILS O'Hara with a Lariat as he lands!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by Black... 1... 2... No! COACH You've gotta watch those Lariats. It ain't flashy, but it's damn sure more effective than whatever Flips McGee was tryin' to do. Black pulls O'Hara back up, throwing him face-first into the top turnbuckle. A still winded O'Hara slumps against the turnbuckles trying to catch a breath. But what he does catch are Black's forearms, striking him upside the head from the left and from the right! Black slugs away at O'Hara's head and it's soon clear Black isn't going to let up. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Finally Black breaks, with complaints from Baron coming from the apron. COLE Black just hammering away at O'Hara, you could feel the contempt behind every shot! Backing across the ring, Black sets himself in the opposite corner waiting for O'Hara to pick himself up. Once he does Nathaniel comes charging, head down... and MISSING, as O'Hara rolls up and out of the corner over Black's body! Black turns and charges again, but O'Hara catches him with another dropkick! Quick tag is made on both sides after that exchange, bringing in Baron and James Blonde, who slams on the brakes when he sees his opposition. "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" Melody leads the chants, as the smiling Texan pats his hands together. Backing away, Blonde eventually finds himself stuck through the ropes getting referee Mike Chioda to back Baron up. COLE Black and O'Hara out before they took each other out at the pace they were going. A little less direct approach from James Blonde, shall we say. Once he's satisfied with the distance between himself and Baron, Blonde re-emerges from the ropes. Before they can lock up though, Melody appears on the apron. She throws Baron something, which he catches adeptly. MELODY Show 'em what a real trendsetter looks like cowboy! To a big pop, Baron pulls on his Stewie Griffin t-shirt! COACH Oh lord. COLE Baron Windels settin' 'dem trends! Surprisingly Blonde doesn't seem too worried and rolls out of the ring, rummaging underneath the apron. And when he returns he too has a fashion statement to make. As he pulls on his t-shirt, we soon see LANDON MADDIX'S face printed on it, much to the man himself's surprise. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The pride of the t-shirts takes over as Baron and Blonde square up, both fired up. They lock up and Blonde quickly grabs a side headlock, before TRYING TO PULL BARON'S T-SHIRT OFF HIS BACK!! Baron fights it and manages to escape out the back, applying his own side headlock. Baron THEN GOES FOR THE T-SHIRT ON BLONDE!! A quick escape from Blonde leads to a stand-off, both men checking their t-shirts are okay before they lock up again. Side headlock by Blonde sees him shot off into the ropes, looking for a shoulder tackle. Baron doesn't move much but Blonde also stays on his feet, putting it down to the power of Landon's head adorning his chest! COLE It's the battle of the t-shirts at November Reign. You see something new every month on OAOAST Pay Per View! Baron backs off the ropes again and Blonde quickly does the same. They collide in mid-ring again, with Blonde just about managing to keep his feet as the impact staggers him. Blonde and Baron square up once more... before the match suddenly breaks down into a hockey fight, both men trying to pull each other's shirts up over their head as they land short punches and knees. They battle for a few seconds, before Blonde pulls away. But he pulls away SHIRTLESS, Baron waving his capture to cheers from his partners. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BLONDE NO! To add insult to injury, Baron wipes his brow with the shirt... then under his ARMPIT, before throwing it to the outside! BLONDE [b]NO![/b] Blonde charges... and Baron nails him with a big boot! Holding his jaw, Blonde scampers to his corner and slaps Faqu on the leg as he rolls to the floor, making the Samoan the legal man. COACH Mr. Dick's stock is rising day on day. Baron Windels is being outshone by his t-shirt. Entering the ring, Faqu yells at Baron as the Texan whips off his shirt and gets down to business. A quick boot catches Faqu cold, allowing Baron to come off the ropes and deliver a clothesline. Faqu stays on his feet, so Baron lands a second clothesline. This one rocks Faqu back on his heels. Getting up some steam, Baron charges again... but Faqu cuts him off with a thrust to the throat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Faqu follows Baron into a corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lays a heavy chop into his chest. Doubling up, Baron is pulled back upright and whipped across the ring. He avoids an avalanche though and comes off the ropes, catching Faqu staggering out of the corner with a crossbody block... 1... 2... No! Front facelock by Baron, controlling his opponent as he climbs up. Baron releases Faqu and lands a right hand. A second. And a third. As he backs Faqu up against the ropes Baron reaches out and tags MARV, then whips Faqu off the ropes. A leapfrog by Baron sets the Samoan up for MARV to come in off the top, springboarding and delivering a dropkick on the bigman! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And down goes Faqu! Landon looking even less confident than he did earlier! COACH I've got a bit of a sinking feeling myself. MARV makes the quick tag to MEL, drawing Blonde in the ring to complain. He does his personal Wrecking Ball no favours though as it allows the twins to deliver two Double Kickflips to stagger Faqu, duck a double clothesline and deliver a Bulldog/Front STO combination! By the time Black has reeled Blonde back to the apron, MEL has Faqu down for the count... 1... 2... Kickout. Another quick tag is made and learning nothing, Blonde tries to get in to help. That leads to an arguement between Black and Blonde, distracting the referee. Meanwhile, MARV and MEL take Faqu down with a double drop toehold. MARV backdrops MEL on top of Faqu, then runs the ropes to get flapjacked on top of Faqu as he rolls over! Landon just rubs his head in his hands, as the ref counts again... 1... 2... Kickout. As Faqu gets back up, MARV and MEL tag again. But before they can get to Faqu the big Samoan is called over to the corner and slapped on the shoulder by a deeply frustrated Landon, bringing himself into the match finally. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Alright, let's see if Landon can fare any better. Stepping into the ring, Landon gives his partners a team-talk, which basically consists of "just watch what I do and let me show you how it's done". Having set himself up for a fall, Landon then sprints right into a drop toehold from MEL bouncing his nose off the mat. "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE I guess not. As Landon nurses his nose, MEL wrings the arm and makes the tag. MARV comes in off the top with an axehandle, then wrings the arm and tags out to Baron. The big Texan comes off the top with an axehandle as well, then brings in O'Hara. Howls of complaint sound out from James Blonde as the Brit also lands with an axehandle across the targetted arm of La Cucaracha. Another quick tag brings MARV in, wringing the arm and then quickly tagging MEL. Together The CAE set up a double whip and deliver a double hiptoss. MARV and MEL then take cheapshots at the rest of Cucaracha Internacional, drawing them in while O'Hara crushes Landon with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton while he's sat prone on the mat!! COLE The former Six Man Champions are running the rule over Landon Maddix and Cucaracha Internacional! COACH Come on already ref, it's four on one! Once the referee has gained control, he finds MEL covering Landon... 1... 2... 3- NO! ONLY TWO! COLE Oh my, so close! Could you imagine if Landon Maddix were the first man eliminated for his struggling force? This could turn into a very bad night for Cucaracha Internacional if they're not careful! Megan can barely watch by this point as things continue to go badly for her man. The CAE tag off again, bringing MARV in. Retreating into a corner, Landon is caught with a boot and whipped across the ring. Reaching out and grabbing the top rope Landon floats up and over... the invisible man, getting snared by the not-so invisible MARV who times his run to kick off the turnbuckles, looking for the ACID DRO... NO! Landon throws MARV off! COLE There's a little respite for Landon. Breathing a noticeable sigh of relief, Maddix reaches down to pick MARV up... but MARV throws up his legs and pulls Landon forward into a pinning cradle! COLE Spoke too soon! 1... 2... NO! MARV beats Landon to his feet and boots him in the gut again. Firing up, MARV then hits the ropes again... but gets a knee in the back from Nathaniel Black! COLE Hey, come on! COACH Oh, so double teaming and triple teaming is fine, but a little knee in the back and suddenly it's 'come on' all of a sudden? Spinning MARV around, Black delivers a European uppercut from the apron. The referee orders Black back to his corner but the damage has been done, as MARV is scooped up and given the GO 2 SLEEP by Landon as he turns around!! James Blonde quickly jumps into the ring to guard against any attempts at a save, as Maddix wraps MARV up... 1... 2... 3!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" A delighted Blonde gives Landon a far too enthusastic pat on the back and celebrates the mini victory as he goes back to the apron. Melody puts his hands on her hips on the outside as suddenly the match has turned on her. COACH Landon Maddix, leading by example baby! COLE And you can chalk up a heavy assist to Nathaniel Black for that one. Team Baron had everything going their way until the Englishman's intervention from the apron and now, Team Baron are down a man and The Christ Air Express are down a Nerdly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: MARV Eliminated by: Landon Maddix [b]CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL 4 TEAM BARON 3[/b] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Landon picks himself up and decides this is the perfect time to give his team another lecture. Unfortunately, Baron Windels disagrees and runs into the ring, pulling him down with an O'Connor roll! 1... 2... NO!! COLE Landon almost got caught again though! Things still aren't running smoothly for Cucaracha Internacional, no matter how you try and sugarcoat it Coach. Landon scrambles back up and eats a right hand! A second. And a third. And a fourth. Blind tag is made as Baron sends Landon off the ropes though, Nathaniel Black interjecting himself legally this time as he knocks Baron down from behind! Black then stomps away until Chioda forces him to let up. COACH Looking smooth from where I'm sitting. COLE Are we watching different feeds or something? Baron's team have dominated this match, Coach! COACH Keep stirring Michael. Just take one look at the numbers and you'll see who's really in control. Picking Baron up, Black lands with two European uppercuts. With a 3/4 headlock he drags Baron over to his teams corner, allowing Faqu to be tagged in. The Samoan comes in with a kick to the ribs of Baron, then stalks after him and strikes down on the trapexius muscle with a mongolian chop. Falling to one knee, Windels is trapped in a nervehold, but is quick to lay an elbow into Faqu's large midsection. And a second. Faqu clasps on a choke though! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." On Blonde's orders alone Faqu releases the choke and gives Baron a kick to the chest. Faqu then drops a big leg, causing Melody to cover her eyes. 1... 2... Kickout. Baron sits up, but Faqu puts him back down with a hip attack. COACH I tell you one thing, if Baron goes then it's match over. As it is they've still got a chance but without Baron you can't tell me MEL and O'Hara can hang with Landon and the Six Man Champs. COLE Those would be some very unfavourable odds. James Blonde tags in and boots Baron in the head before climbing to the middle rope. The Trendsetter snaps his sweatband and balls up the fist, coming off thee ropes wih the fistdrop. But Baron is up on his feet and CATCHES Blonde in his arms! He then drives JB back into the turnbuckles, driving the wind out of him. COLE Don't go counting Baron out yet though, not by a longshot! An irish whip sends Blonde corner to corner and hard into the turnbuckles again. Baron then draws on the power of more cancelled Fox cartoons as he tells Blonde to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH LOL at these people cheering for a cartoon that's strictly made for DVD. COLE As opposed to running a wrestling company like the SWF whose shows are made for DVD. Because that'd be kinda pathetic too, right? COACH That's completely different... sorta. Diving~! tag brings in MEL, to a cheer. With Blonde still dazed from the BUTT bump MEL delivers a flying clothesline in the corner, landing on the middle rope. MEL pulls himself through to the apron and waits for Blonde to answer to his beckoning, feeding a shoulder through the ropes and then launching back inside with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Despite his dazed state, Blonde is able to land a knee to buy himself a few seconds to clear his head. Blonde then clubs MEL in the back, before shooting him into the ropes. A baseball slide takes MEL through Blonde's legs though! As Blonde turns around MEL scoops him for the MELANO... NO! MELA-NO, as Blonde floats over the back and locks on the cobra clutch, setting up ILLEGALLY BLON... NO! BL-ON... I MEAN, BLON-NO... look, MEL counters it, okay! And he counters it by running forward, driving JB's face into the top turnbuckle in his corner! COLE Nice momentum move and there's the tag, here comes J-OH! With Blonde dazed, O'Hara comes off the top with a Moonsault Press! 1... 2... NO! COLE I'm sure it's both cliché and debatable, but I'm going to say it anyway, nobody in the OAOAST gets higher than Jamie O'Hara! COACH And we've got at least two Jamaicans on the roster so that's some claim! O'Hara stomps Blonde up against the ropes, then looks for an irish whip. A reversal sends O'Hara towards the ropes but he's well prepared for any interference from Nathaniel Black wandering down the apron, throwing himself at him with a dropkick! Black goes flying off the apron to the arena floor, while O'Hara quickly pulls the rope down on Blonde's charge. COLE We're about to see it again it looks like! Lining Blonde and Black up, O'Hara hits the ropes... ...but Maddix comes in and cuts him off with a boot, then gives the crowd the 'up yours'! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon mocks the rest of his opponents a little, before he and turns hits the ropes himself. But as he rebounds, Jamie O'Hara suddenly goes whizzing past him, THROWING HIMSELF OVER THE TOP WITH A TWISTING MOONSAULT DIVE ONTO BLACK AND BLONDE ANYWAY!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE LOOK MA' NO HANDS! COACH Look ma', no brains more like! That shit was banana! Slowly pulling up on his run Landon looks confused as to what just happened, while O'Hara gets to his feet and slaps some of the fans' hands at ringside. Landon is put to the apron, still trying to figure out what in the heck just happened. Meanwhile, O'Hara throws Blonde back inside and makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Tag made, MEL back in for Team Baron. MEL comes in and manages to prevent Blonde's despairing attempts to tag Faqu and get the hell out of the ring, pulling him away and to his feet. Two quick forearms allow MEL to pull Blonde down with a drop toehold. He then executes La Majistral... 1... 2... No! COLE Baron and his team eager to even up the score here, but give credit for James Blonde, he's hanging in there. For now. Blonde picks himself up and uses another short knee to save himself. With MEL doubled over, he then threads his leg over the back of the head and looks to deliver the Guilt Trip. However, MEL is able to spin out of the back of the move and before Blonde knows what's hit him, he's trapped in a full nelson and faceplanted into the canvas! COLE Oh, big move by MEL. And in perfect position, MEL looking to get high as well perhaps? COACH Yeah yeah, they all like recreational drugs, we get it by now, get a new angle already. Exiting to the apron, MEL gives the signal and heads to the top. The crowd rise to their feet as MEL reaches the third floor and points to the sky, before taking off with majestic form... ...on a MISSED SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Nobody home! Having rolled out of the way Blonde scrambles to his corner and gets a tag to the team captain. Quick as a flash, Landon is in the ring and catches MEL winded and on one knee... *SMACK!* ...NAILING him with a Low Flying Superkick to the side of the head! COACH DAYYUM! With MEL already seeing stars, Landon quickly pops him up into a fireman's carry. In comes Black to run Baron and O'Hara off the apron, keeping them out of the equation as Landon delivers a second GO TO SLEEP of the match and hooks the leg on the unconscious MEL... 1... 2... 3!!! BLONDE WOOOOOOOOOO!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A deflated boo from the Anaheim crowd and a dejected look from Melody, sinking a little on the outside. Rolling off of MEL, Landon looks as smug as can be as he makes the tag out to Faqu, more than happy to stand and listen to the sucking-up of James Blonde by this point in the match. COLE And with that Landon Maddix has wiped out both of The Christ Air Express, leaving us at a four against two situation. Team Baron now just Baron himself and Jamie O'Hara, up against the four of Cucaracha Internacional. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: MEL Eliminated by: Landon Maddix [b]CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL 4 TEAM BARON 2[/b] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As MEL is rolled from the ring and checked on by sister Melody, Baron and Jamie regroup on the outside. Realising the deficit they're facing they have a quick peptalk, before Baron re-enters the ring and sizes up Faqu. COACH What did I tell you Michael? Leave it to Landon to get things running smooth again. COLE Well he can certainly afford to look a bit happier with proceedings than he did in the early going. Dare I tempt fate and say things are starting to look up? James Blonde certainly thinks so, grinning like a kid at Christmas as he turns to the crowd and points to Landon, "That's my boss!" As that sickening scene of boot licking continues, Baron and Faqu engage in the ring. They go to lock-up but Baron surprises Faqu with a succession of right hands that start to stagger the big Samoan. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A knifedge chop, has little effect. And a short Cowboy Bebop elbow across the top of the head similar. Landing a boot, Baron decides at this point to go for broke and scoops Faqu up for a bodyslam... but winds up with all of his 301 pounds crashing down across his chest instead!! COLE Oh no! 1... 2... Kickout!! COLE Nearly disaster for Team Baron! COACH It's all a matter of time now Michael. Baron's their last real slim hope, since O'Hara hasn't got the size to match Faqu let alone what it takes to match the other three opponents. Now Baron's completely knocked the air out of his lungs, he's ready for the taking in my book. Faqu picks Baron up, delivering a hard headbutt. Down goes Baron and Faqu gives the tag to James Blonde who's eager to capitalise. Rushing into the ring, Blonde takes a needless cheapshot at O'Hara to draw him into the ring while he drags Baron over to the corner and lets Landon and Black put the boots to him from the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now why, with these odds, would Cucaracha Internacional need to go to these kind of tactics? COACH Assurance. Once Chioda has put O'Hara out the boots have stopped, allowing Blonde to drag Baron into a lateral press... 1... 2... No! Tag made back to Faqu, with more dirty work to be done just yet. "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" COACH Ya, cheer all ya like, it ain't gonna make a difference. This ain't a video-game Melody, you ain't gonna cure broken ribs by slapping a turnbuckle a bunch. Faqu scoops and slams Baron with all the ease the Texan failed to find earlier. Off the ropes, The Samoan Wrecking Ball then comes crashing down with a Big Splash! 1... 2... NO! MADDIX Here. Maddix calls for, and gets, the tag ready to lead by example once again. Hitting the ropes, the still smug Landon leaps up to bring all his two hundred, eight pounds down across Baron's chest with a double stomp... and bottoms right out into a back senton for good measure. Reaching back he hooks a leg... 1... 2... No! Not looking unduely concerned, Landon strolls around and decides to pose for the crowd. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" As Baron gets back up, Maddix meets him with a forearm strike. And a second. Turning Baron around, Landon reaches up and hooks the head, bringing him down across a knee with a modified neckbreaker! Blonde applauds excitedly from the apron as Maddix taunts Melody for no reason other than the fact he can. COLE I think I liked him better when he was sulking. Landon catches Baron on his way up with a straight kick to the chest. Then another forearm. After directing some more words towards Melody, Landon then whips Baron into the ropes. Landon ducks his head... which proves a fatal mistake, as Baron hooks the head and drops him with the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah! Got him! Baron quickly hooks Landon up... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH WHA!? COLE That's three! Landon is out of here! Blonde and Black both react to the surprising turn of events too late to make a save and end up with shocked expressions on their faces, halfway inside the ring. Melody jumps for joy on the floor, as do the fans, as Megan holds her head in her hands. COACH What just happened!? COLE All I know is, Baron Windels just pinned the former World Heavyweight Champion! And the leader of Cucaracha Internacional is gone, we're back to 3 to 2! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Landon Maddix Eliminated by: Baron Windels [b]CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL 3 TEAM BARON 2[/b] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Landon rolls out, Megan is there to great him with words of consolation. Of course, they're negated with the flames from Melody Nerdly as a confused looking Landon (well, he did just get dropped on his head) is shepherded off to the back. Back in the ring meanwhile, James Blonde looks to avenge his fallen leader as he jumps Baron with stomps before he can get back to his feet. COLE James Blonde, like a wronged wife, on the attack! Blonde continues to stomp away, before dropping to his knees and blatantly choking The Lone Star Gunslinger. He quickly breaks but is riled up and almost takes a shot at the referee. Chioda quickly warns him against doing that and the emotional Blonde tags out to Nathaniel Black. Black prevents Baron from getting a tag and pulls him to his feet, driving his elbow into Baron's bicep. COLE Cucaracha Internacional, infact the World Six Man Tag Team Champions, just need to regroup here. Despite that sudden elimination of their captain and in one case inspiration, they still have the numbers advantage. COACH Exactly. Landon has lead the way, now it's time for his team to follow. COLE You mean follow him to the dressing room after being eliminated? COACH You know exactly what I mean bitch. Don't act like you don't know tryin' to act all clever, like. Backed in a corner, Baron's arm is wrapped around the ropes in a painful manner, forcing him to club at Black with his free arm to release it. Black quickly lands a back elbow though, then kicks the ropes and does further damage to Baron's arm in the process. Away walks Baron, Black following after him... and regretting it, as Windels wheels around with a hard right hand! And another! Black responds with a headbutt though. He then sets up an irish whip, but Baron counters and throws a boot... but Black catches it. He spins Baron around... ...and Baron answers with the MYSPACE COMEBACK... just as Black spins around with the BLACK LARIAT, both men nailing their 360 clotheslines in unison!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a head-on collision that was. Both Black and Baron roll away and head for their corners looking for the tag. Melody's encouragement helps Baron even if this isn't a video game... and as Black tags to James Blonde, Baron makes a lunge and TAGS JAMIE O'HARA!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara leaps in over the top, catching Blonde with a kick on the way. Hitting the ropes, he then catches Blonde marching towards him with the Busaiku Knee Kick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Irish whip attempt by O'Hara is reversed, sending him into the turnbuckles. Blonde follows up with a clothesline and locks on the side headlock looking for the follow-up bulldog. O'Hara counters by pushing Blonde off, into the ropes. Coming back Blonde throws a clothesline but O'Hara ducks and rolls The Trendsetter up... 1... 2... No! Right back up, Blonde soon goes right back down courtesy of a sweep of the legs, setting him up for a STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS~!! 1... 2... NO!! COLE Only two, but O'Hara is starting to build momentum. And once he gets going he's notoriously hard to stop. O'Hara signals to the crowd that the end is near, as he heads up the turnbuckles. As he reaches the top though, Blonde rushes over and cuts him off with a punch. The Canadian breathes a sigh of relief before he heads up the turnbuckles himself. Punches are exchanged as Blonde tries to hook O'Hara in a facelock. O'Hara manages to fight Blonde off though and shoves him off the ropes. However, Blonde lands on his feet. As Jamia starts to get his feet again up top, The Trendsetter quickly springboards off the middle rope AND DROPKICKS O'HARA OFF THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Your boy just got stopped. COLE That had to be at least a 15 foot fall, 80 feet in pro-wrestling terms! Right next to those 2,900 pound steel steps! In the middle of his preening, Blonde orders Faqu to go collect O'Hara for him as he lays in a heap on the floor. Faqu does as he's told, as ever. But as he tries to pick O'Hara up, Baron comes over to protect his partner, nailing Faqu with right hands! COLE It's breaking down here. Baron trying to even the odds. COACH Yeah, but they're not even, are they? As Baron keeps Faqu at bay, Nathaniel Black is on hand to dump O'Hara back inside. He rolls him in to Blonde, who instantly covers... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE I thought that was it for sure. What heart shown by Jamie O'Hara. Black halts the fight on the floor by blindsighting Baron, running him into the barricade. In the ring meanwhile, Blonde drags O'Hara up by the tracksuit pants. Blonde sets O'Hara up for a back suplex... but Jamie floats over and lands on his feet, dropkicking Blonde in the back! JB falls into the turnbuckles and O'Hara finds enough energy to follow in with a running back elbow. O'HARA THAT'S IT BITCHES! The crowd don't mind the suggestion that they're the bitches being referred to and cheer anyway, as O'Hara again heads up the ropes. On the second rope he gets ready to take flight. However, Blonde reacts and grabs O'Hara's Nike trainer, dragging him off the ropes! The back of O'Hara's head bounces off the mat hard and he rolls away, ending up in position for Blonde to come off the ropes with the LIONSAULT!! 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That's it alright pal. That's it big time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Jamie O'Hara Eliminated by: James Blonde [b]CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL 3 TEAM BARON 1[/b] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blonde celebrates his victory, swaggering around the ring as O'Hara is helped out. COLE And the odds just got even steeper. Baron Windels against the Six Man Tag Team Champions, a no-contest on paper, but matches aren't fought on paper and Baron isn't going to give up without a fight here. "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" The crowd try to make themselves a second man for the Texan as he drags himself towards the ring. Before he can re-enter though, he's jumped by Nathaniel Black! Black clubs away at Baron with forearms before throwing him back inside, to the waiting boots of James Blonde. Stomping away, Blonde works over Windels until the signs of life are fading then breaks away to swagger some more. COLE It's hard to find a moment when James Blonde isn't feeling confident, but he's clearly feeling extra confident at this point. COACH Can hardly blame him. Blonde makes the tag to Faqu, ordering him to do some damage. As Baron struggles to his feet, Faqu pins him against the ropes and delivers a thrust to the chest. An irish whip then sets Baron up for a crushing Samoan Drop!! Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... Kickout! Melody tries to will Baron on, as he's picked back up and headbutted by Faqu. COLE These are dire straights for Baron, he's got to start mounting something and quick. He tries to, landing a right hand to the midsection. Faqu shrugs it off though, delivers a second headbutt on Baron that backs him against the turnbuckles and then tags Blonde back in. Directing traffic Blonde whips Baron across the ring for an AVALANCHE by Faqu! Blonde then delivers a corner clothesline, hooking Baron up and delivering the Bulldog! COACH There it is, put him away JB. Blonde, eventually, hooks the leg and kicks back with his legs crossed... 1... 2... NO!! As Blonde complains about the count, Black yells at him to get on with it already. COLE He's got a point. COACH Nat just needs to chill a little. He's an authorative guy, but it's just a matter of time, no need to stress. Calling for one more, Blonde whips Baron into his team's empty corner... or, tries to, but Baron reverses and gives Blonde the BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS treatment again! COACH Okay, maybe stress a little. More than a little, Black enters the ring and charges Baron, who gets up a Big Boot! Baron quickly runs Faqu off the apron for good measure, then goes to the top rope. As Blonde staggers to his feet the big Texan sizes him up and yells that "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME"... ...BEFORE TAKING HIM OUT WITH THE DIVING LARIAT!!! COLE Took his head off, that should be one down! Baron hooks up Blonde... 1... 2... SAVE BY FAQU!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I've gotta believe that would have been it, no way Blonde was kicking out. The Samoan Wrecking Ball stomps away on Baron... and stomps away some more, despite the protestations of referee Mike Chioda. The savage then drops down and applies a blatant choke, screaming wildly. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" MELODY Come on, get him off referee! Faqu refuses to let go of the choke and with Blonde and Black out of the way, there's no-one to control him. And with Chioda unable to physically prise Faqu's arm from Baron's throat he gives up and calls for the bell! Even that doesn't stop Faqu though, despite the cheers of the crowd. COLE I think the referee's throwing Faqu out of here Coach! The Samoan Wrecking Ball has lost it, the referee had no alternative but to disqualify Faqu! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Faqu Eliminated by: DQ [b]CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL 2 TEAM BARON 1[/b] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Still Faqu chokes away at Baron though, going completely wild as he does so. It's only when Nathaniel Black finally rolls back into the ring and calls him off that Faqu lets the choke go. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black reasons as best possible with the Samoan to leave before he gets anyone else DQed. COLE So Faqu is out of here. But the damage might have been done already. COACH It's definately been done Michael. Faqu may be gone, but so has the life, right out of Baron Windels' body. As Black coaxes Faqu out of the ring, James Blonde shakes off the cobwebs. Seeing Baron down and out he quickly picks the Texan back up. Baron has no defence for the cobra clutch... or the legsweep, dropped with ILLEGALLY BLONDE! Blonde frantically calls the referee away from trying to control Faqu to make the count... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The damage was done. And James Blonde picking up the scraps for Cucaracha Internacional! As the three comes down, Blonde literally leaps off of Baron and buries his head in his hands in a gushing victory celebration. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and SOLE SURVIVORS... representing Cucaracha Internacional... NATHANIEL BLACK and JJAAAAAMMMMEEEEEEESSSS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Baron Windels Eliminated by: James Blonde [b]SURVIVORS:[/b] NATHANIEL BLACK and JAMES BLONDE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blonde continues his OTT celebrations as Black glances back, sees what's going on and decides to follow Faqu to the back. Not daunted by being the only one celebrated Blonde points out his departed partners and shouts "WE DID IT!" to them, to which Nathaniel just gives a half-hearted thumbs up. Blonde's ridiculous celebrations earn boos from the crowd as he exits the ring and goes jogging after Black and Faqu, pumping his fists in the air. COLE Anyone would think Blonde just won the World Title! He pinned Baron after Faqu all but choked the life out of him and now he's on the verge of tears, what a goof! COACH Are you kidding? He's back in the good books! Screw the World Title! Just about catching up Blonde jumps onto Black's back as they disappear through the curtains. In the ring, Baron is checked on by Melody. COLE A gallant effort from Baron Windels here tonight. COACH Gallant efforts don't win you your quarters back at the arcade though. Hey, Melody, I got two words for ya... GAME OVER! HAHAHA! Edited December 2, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
