NR match part 2

[Zack Malibu 0]

COACH

Rules are made to be followed, Mikey, The Blonds broke ‘em and now they’re outta here.

 

Every bit as angry as the audience, the Pissed Off Prep comes in a smoldering cauldron of rage and fire. The first victim to feel his wrath is Logan, cut down by a lariat. Right as Mann hits the canavs, Malibu darts towards Moneymaker. Eager to avoid the enraged megastar, Moneymaker leaps off the ring apron. The obnoxious finger wagging of his rival distracts Zack from Mann, and he’s caught from behind with a clubbing forearm. Two more shots to the back follow before Mann flings Zack into the corner. The ring posts nearly knock the breath out The Franchise as he collides backfirst with them. But he still has the wits about him to scatter out the way when Mann comes charging after him. Clutching his hurt stomach, the rock n wrestling superstar staggers backwards as Malibu leaps onto the second rope. The fans explode with cheers when he crashes through Mann with a cross body block! Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Mister Dick breaks it up with a boot to the head! The disdain the fans felt over such a tactic dissipates the moment Bo runs the length of the apron and nearly takes MD’s head off with a clothesline! While his partner drags himself out the ring, Logan attempts to chuck Zack into the ropes. But the POP reverses the hold and sends Mann heading to the cables. Unable to think of a counter attack, the three time tag champ is upended with a back body drop!

 

“MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!”

 

Zack is feelin' DAT BABYFACE FIYAH~! And beats his chest to an approving audience. Yet, this flood of testosterone costs him dearly; Christian Wright surprises him with a bulldog! Without waiting for the alzheimer’s ridden referee to realize this is illegal, Logan rolls out the ring to make Wright the legal man. CW quickly takes advantage of his trickery by planting a pair of elbows into the back of Zack’s head. With Malibu groggy from the shots, CW guides him to his feet and assails him with a bit of verbose trashtalk. Zack may not be able to understand what the hell CW says, but it doesn’t make him any less angry, and he recalls his strength to batter The Natural with wild right hands. Wright looks on the verge of tipping over into an early KO, but he’s kept aloft by the POP whipping him into the corner. Just seconds after hitting the post, Wright must deal with the irking sight of Malibu charging him. Out of sheer desperation, he throws up his loafers and that’s enough to stop Zack’s attack and cause him to stagger backwards. As Malibu attends to his blurred vision and sore face, CW scoots onto the top rope. He then flies towards Malibu and sends him tumbling to the canvas with a dropkick. While the Steamers applaud his showing, he hooks Zack’s leg for a fall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

The massive forearm of Bohemoth ends the pinfall, and has Christian demanding Buzzlefoxer control his former bodyguard. Wright soon shifts his attention away from old man Clam and back to Zack, roughly shoving the Franchise into the neutrual corner. He reddens his chest with several European uppercuts that leave Malibu wincing in agony and covering his tormented chest. Wright isn’t much for mercy and furthers his assault with an Irish whip towards an opposite corner. He follows the Prep in, expecting to hit a body splash. But Zack evades his charge and he slams full force into the posts! Staggering backwards Wright falls into the Angle Slam!

 

“YEAAAAAAA!” the Anaheim audience erupts, as Zack falls on top CW for a pinfall. He waits and waits for the referee to count, thinking Clem is merely undergoing another narcolepsy spell. In reality, Abdullah has distracted him with verses from his holy book. Without a second of hesitation, Zack reaches the speaker for the prophets and headbutts him off the apron! The audience’s delighted reaction is the complete opposite of the mortified Cleveland Steamers.

 

COACH

Hope you enjoy your trip to hell, Preppy!

 

MACKENZIE

I don’t think he will. Hell doesn’t have an Applebees for him to take his bastard child to that looks like the Hispanic guy next door.

 

Zack turns back to Wright with the thought that The Natural is still down for the Angleslam. Erroneous thinking on the POP’s part as CW runs through him with a spear! A pinfall follows…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Zack gets his shoulder off the canavs. Rolling off Malibu, Wright keeps his hands within his sandy blonde hair in order to bring him off the mat. Now upright, Malibu regains his spirit and tags CW with a left-right combo that leads right into a jawbreaker! Feeling as though every tooth in his mouth has been loosened, The Natural wobbles aimlessly before suffering a mercy killing as Zack brings him to the mat with a double leg takedown. He drags The Natural to his corner where he applies the tag to Krista! Huge cheers rush from the mouths of the fans for their fellow Californian, but Krista isn’t quite ready to enter as she’s reapplying her lip gloss.

 

“Hurry up, ya dike!” Mister Dick shouts from across the ring.

 

‘Hey, racist, you no who else is? Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, hall of famer Rod Carew-“

 

“He said dike not kike.” Zack chimes in.

 

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Krista apologizes and to make up for her gaffe decides to give CW a free make over. Ignoring his protest, she crazily scribbles her lip gloss across his face. But he continues to complain, and not one for ungratefulness, she shoves him to the ground!

 

Unsympathetic to his associate’s misery, Moneymaker gruffly orders him to fight. With no room for debate, CW is quick to his feet, but just as he stands Krista’s ten thousand dollar legs spin him around in a twisting head scissors. On the verge of vomiting, CW stumbles upright but is caught by a five thousand dollar knee strike! The attack knocks him off balance, but he recovers with quickly enough to charge at the walk of famer. But, Krissy meets his arrival by tightening her arms around his neck. He exhausts every effort to break free of her grip, but all her work is futile and she drops him with a Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect)!

 

COLE

Wright paying the ultimate price for being in the same ring as Krista at the same time.

 

Wright tries to get off the mat under his own power, but this is made maddingly impossible when a Fendi platform heel slams into his noggin. The other half of the 675$ pumps lands its strike, and then the whole pair mangles his face with a dropkick. The heels take her to the ropes, but her hands bring her back in a graceful cartwheel that ends with a knee driven into CW’s skull. A furious headache immediately consumes Wright, and urges him to get to his corner. Thus he rolls off the canvas, but as he does so Krista is bouncing off the ropes. When she reaches her rival, her arms hook beneath his and haul his lip glossed face down against her knee. Quickly, she scurries behind him and further mutilates his facial features with a one handed face crusher! Wright cries out in miserey.

 

“Oh, honey, you’re gonna raise your voice to me right now?”

 

“I’m not raising my voice! By the gods, I’m injured!”

 

“For the sake of the baby, honey, I think we need some space.”

 

Wright’s situation takes another huge downturn as Krista makes the tag to the Meterosexual Monster! CW attempts to make a speedy retreat to his corner, but his escape is halted by BO’s fingers clamping down on his curly hair. The giant throws him into the corner, and ignoring Wright’s cries for mercy, ravages him with a series of overhand chops. Logan realizes that Bo might very well shred Wright straight to his bone, and enters the ring to rescue his fellow Steamer. Unfortunately for him, Bo spots his arrival and nearly saws him in half with a powerful lariat! The audience cheers and Bo roars with adrenaline, neither one noticing a recovered CW standing on the second rope. Thus its to both their surprise when he vacates his perch to pelt his former employee with a diving forearm. Satisfied with that one offensive strike, CW tags in The Billion Dollar Heir. Together they lift a groggy Bohemoth off the mats and throw him at the ropes. He returns with both arms raised for double clothesline, but that only makes it easier for The Enterprise reps to throw him over with a double hip toss! As Wright departs the ring, his boss hands Bo A Fistful of Dollars and then goes for a fall.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Bo powers his way out the pinfall, leading Moneymaker to stomp around the canvas in a lunatic tantrum. Putting his rage to a “healthy” use, he returns to the big man to collar him and blast his face with punches. After drawing a sprinkle of blood from Bo’s forehead, Moneymaker realizes his hold to stand back up and drive his red boots into the top of his rival’s head. Yet even as Moneymaker throws all his strength and anger into his stomps, Bo still succeeds in finding his way back up. Unwilling to give the monster a chance to mount a counter attack, Moneymaker irish whips Bo away. As he returns, the Messiah hops into the air for a leap frog, but the South Carolinian is a hair ahead of him and smashes him into the canvas with a spine buster!

 

“YEAAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

Is there anyone in the OAOAST with the might and power of Big Bohemoth?

 

While Bo takes a moment to shake out the cobwebs Moneymaker’s kicks struck him with, The Steamers’ captain rolls to his corner where he makes a tag with Logan Mann. Showing no fear of the monster, Mann charges into the ring. But his bravery is rewarded with a flap jack that brings him down throat first across the top rope cables!

 

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

 

Logan stumbles away from the ropes, heading straight towards the snarling and furious beast. As he has little intentions of enduring any further beating, he resorts to cheap tactics and rakes Bo’s eyes. Blinded, Bohemoth can’t stop Logan from hooking his gigantic arms behind his back. Thankfully he recovers his sight just in time, to boot a charging Wright in the face! As the fans pop for his counter, the big man breaks free of Logan’s hold and whirls around to hammer him with a punch. But Mann moves quick, and stabs him in the gut with a swift boot. His hands go around his neck in a front facelock and the dreaded finger twirl signals the percussion!

 

“BOOOOOO!”

 

But Bo fights off the finisher that has put down so many superstars by shoving Mann to the ropes! Little does he know, he just gave Mister Dick the chance to make a blind tag. The MACHO macho Mann darts Bo, sliding beneath the lumbering brute’s legs. Distracted by Mann’s frantic movement, Bo can’t prevent the Human Hard On from pasting him in between the eyes with a double axe handle smash! The attack doesn’t succeed in flooring Bohemoth, instead knocking him straight towards Mann who captures him in another setup for a Percussion DDT! Once again Logan is unsuccessful, as Bo lifts him up and runs clear across the ring to dump the rockstar over the ropes! Not even waiting to see where poor Mann landed, the Meterosexual Monster now turns on Mister Dick. Though rumbling back with full speed, Bo is casually ensared by the waiting arms of The Cocky Prick. With almost inhuman strength, Mister Dick hoists the two hundred seventy five pounder onto his shoulders, and let’s the world marvel at his awesome power. Finally he throws Bo off his shoulder and on the big man’s descent he drives his knees straight into his gut! The fans are distraught, and Zack looks panicked on the ring apron, both watching Bo tumble lifeless onto the canvas.

 

COLE

The Cock Block!

 

Smiling broadly, Mister Dick leans back across Bo’s body for a pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

A cascade of angered boos rushes down from the stands as Mister Dick only enflames the fiery situation by using his boots to remove Bo from the ring. Standing in rapture is his fellow Cleveland Steamers, scarcely able to stop themselves from pouring into the ring and celebrating their fantastic odds.

 

BUFFER

Boheomth has been eliminated!

 

MACKENZIE

Can we finally kill the myth that this guy is worth anything? He’s like a guy at a gym telling everyone to clear way so everyone can see his monster dunk, then proceeds to jump only 1inch in the air and fall on his ankle wrong and have 2 guys carry him off the court crying.

 

Though repeated taunts and threats of violence from the Steamers make it seem as though Zack and Krista are pilots about the Hindenburg, the two captains affix their bravest and most resilient looks on their face. The audience still feels the sting of Bohemoth’s elimination, but now throws their full support behind their resolute heroes.

 

COACH

Cleveland Steamers came through and shitted on they lives, cuz! Laid feces and excrement on they heart and soul! Straight pulled down the chinos and dropped a deuce on a whole gang of niggas. That’s whats up!

 

Things don’t get off to a rollicking start for the dream team, as Mister Dick grabs onto Krista’s hair and throws her into the ring. Immediately she tries to stand up, but she’s halted by a bombardment of punches from Dickzilla. Abruptly, MD ceases his strikes but this is only to make a savage attempt to choke the life out her. Ignoring the warnings from Buzzlefoxer and the cries of the audience, MD continues to tighten his hold around her neck. Only when Buzzlefoxer threatens a DQ does Mister Dick finally relent. None too pleased about having to stop choking Krista, he expresses his displeasure by spitting on her!

 

COACH

I’ma tell you what the Dream Team feels like, right hurr. Its like you simpin on a ho on facebook , then you send a message and she doesn't reply. So you write on her wall where you know she has to see it....and she still doesn't reply...then you see her friends have left messages. But it looks like she hasn't replied to them either...so you take a sigh of relief...only to log back on and see has uploaded new photos...but she still hasn't replied to you...so you send a note to her inbox....and she still hasn't replied...and then you see her at Lennox mall with another guy! FUCK YOU ELLEN HOPKINS!

 

Meanwhile, Mister Dick whips Krista to the ropes. Unexpectedly, she snaps his neck back like a tether with a ferocious diving forearm! Kipping back up at the exact same moment her angered foe gets to his feet, Krista lures him into her. He takes her bait and nearly has his testicles ruptured with an inverted atomic drop! As the horrific pain freezes him in place, he can do nothing to stop her from leaping upwards , collaring her hands around his neck and spiking it off the canvas! The audience applauds with great enthusiasm, as Krista strikes a covergirl pose for the throng of photojournalists. Eager to take advantage of her vanity, Wright runs into the ring. But, The Franchise protects his teammate from harm by wiping out CW with a springboard crossbody block!

 

“YEAAAAA!”

 

Unaware of what just happened with Zack and CW, Krista wonders why both men are laid out, but merely chalks it up to the usual being floored by her beauty, and decides to head to the ropes. Unfortunately, Mann lowers the third cable and the Hollywood starlet is upended out the ring! On sheer luck alone, she’s able to land on her feet, but its an off balance landing and she stumbles into the barricade. Sensing a sliver of vulnerability, Moneymaker targets her with an axe handle smash. But her perceived weakness disappears, and after she glides out the way he slams into the steel guardrail. Draped over the railing, he’s deluged with insults from a decidedly hostile audience.

 

Unlike most performers who would take this moment to try and put their foe through the nearby announce table, Krista is satisfied to gather up whatever refreshments she can from the fans and shove them into Moneymaker’s tights. Once his red tights are filled to capacity with skittles, popcorn, snickers, and hotdogs, she retrieves a chair from the timekeeper area.

 

“Hey Clem, California law says if you don’t close your eyes once per match you get raped by Judd Nelson!”

 

Unable to pass up such good legal advice, Clem shuts his lids and that’s what allows Krista make the ickiest culinary concoction by slamming her steel chair into Moneymaker’s BUTT! Distressed cries of pain and rage fall out his mouth, but are quickly washed away by the uproarious laughter of the audience. While, Moneymaker has to deal with the gooey junk in the trunk, Krista sets up her steel chair inches away from him. Backing towards the other end of the floor gives her the running start she needs to use her tool as a launching pad that sends her scorching to Moneymaker with a double stomp. She comes down across his head with the force of an atom bomb, and with even more deadly precision as she imprints his skull into the concrete floor of the stands.

 

KRISTA & THE FANS

 

Through with celebrating with her fellow Californians, Miss Money In The Bank darts back into the ring. There a Stiff Kick from Mister Dick welcomes her! But she rolls beneath the signature strike, and comes up in front of her corner to make the tag with the Pissed Off Prep! The moment Zack steps into the ring, the newest Deadly Alliance member tries to steamroll him with a polish hammer. But Malibu greets his charge with a knife edge chop, and then hammers away with forearms. His furious attacks collide with MD’s noggin several times before he sends the Human Hard On charging towards the ropes. A blind tag is made by Christian Wright, but that’s of little use to Dick as Zack drills him with a running elbow smash. Zack takes a moment to admire his handiwork which turns out to be costly thanks to CW shocking him with a side Russian leg sweep. He hastily rolls The Franchise to his feet, and shifts position to hook him into a front facelock. A moment later, Malibu is brought into the sky in the makings of a vertical suplex. But, The Franchise refuses to be brought down by Wright and battles out the hold with several knees to the noggin. Besieged by a crippling headache, The Natural hasn’t any other choice but to relinquish his grip on his rival. Back down on his feet, Zack strikes fast and brings the snooty star down to the canvas with a drop toehold!

 

“MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!”

 

While Christian grouses about a possibly broken nose, Malibu rolls across his back and wraps his arms around his head, applying a front facelock and rising to his feet. On the upright, Zack sends a pair of knees into Wright’s sternum and feels his opponent weaken within his grip. With that in mind he attempts to lift Wright up for an impaler DDT. But CW isn’t as weak as Malibu thought and promptly breaks the hold. That’s but a small victory for The Natural as an enraged Franchise begins peeling apart his chest with knife edge chops! But, before the blows can truly leave their searing impact on Wright, he’s granted a reprieve when Mann reaches into the ring and hauls his opponent to the outside. Caught unawares by such foul play, Zack hasn’t the mind to defend himself against the wicked left hands Logan shoots into his face. With the referee distracted by CW’s explaining the theory of evolution, Malibu is left to the merciless assault of the Steamers. After a spinning left hand from Logan leaves him floored, Mister Dick latches onto Zack’s legs. The fans grow heated, hollering numerous threats against Mister Dick should he be so cruel as to harm the company’s poster boy. MD only smiles amidst their complaints and slingshots Malibu against the steel posts! Zack’s head bounces of the harsh metal, creating a clanging sound that’s every bit as chilling as the pained grunts he lets out as he falls back to the floor. On the ring apron, Moneymaker might enjoy such a sight if he weren’t busy trying to clean peanut buttercups out his tights. Logan returns to the ring, and makes a tag with Christian Wright. As Zack is all but removed from the contest, Mann takes it upon himself to taunt Krista over her imminent demise.

 

“Gee, Logan, I’m sure you said something about demise, but all I heard was ‘Damn, I wish my girlfriend didn’t look like a crack addled Kathy Griffin, coming fresh off a gangbang on the set of Mad Max.”

 

Although bloodied, wounded and possibly concussed, Zack won’t allow his injuries to spell his doom and attempts to climb into the ring. But thanks to those maladies his ascent is painfully slow, and its look as though he may fall back to the canvas at any second. He’s given a “helping hand” from Mann, who reaches through the ropes and drags him up onto the ring apron. Once he’s there, the Vegas native tightens him into a front facelock and brings him into the ring with a vertical suplex. He then floats over into a pin…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Krista breaks up the pin, and earns a grand ovation from her home state crowd. Zack, however, is far from out the woods; Logan begins peppering him with those dangerous left hands.

 

COACH

Zack getting tooled on by Logan Mann. Let’s talk about it! Picture a dignified, handsome, Marvin Gaye type brother like Logan being beaten on by a pea-brained nutjob whiteboy like Zack? He an understimulated ass smurfed out lil son-son!

 

LOGAN

 

Able to get his senses back during Logan’s rocking out, Malibu turns onto his knees and uses them to get to an all too unsteady vertical base. Mann isn’t pleased to see Zack back on his feet and punishes him for his insurgence with more left hands. But Malibu shows the same dynamist that made him a three time world champ, and begins fighting back at the rock n wrestling legend.

 

“MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!” the fans and Krista chant. Their support is rewarded by The Franchise as he slams chop after chop against Mann’s pecs. But his offense comes to a sudden halt when Logan fires a knee into his stomach. Crippled by agony, Zack is easily tangled inside a front facelock for a percussion DDT!

 

COLE

Oh no!

 

“The end draws near!” Abdullah shouts. But the speaker for the prophets declaration comes to soon; Zack manages to shove Logan back towards the Dream Team’s corner. Krista strikes him with a slap across the face that stumbles him directly towards a School’s Out! But, Logan snaps to life and makes a sharp U-Turn! Unfortunately, he can’t avoid the springboard dropkick Krista sends at his face! Agonized by the sharp heels driven into his face, he haphazardly falls over before Zack catches him and spins him around with an Angle Slam! On his descent Krista laces her arm around his neck to strike him with an inverted DDT Anaheim nearly cheers itself hoarse in reaction to the double team!

 

COLE

He got it! He got the Angleslam!

 

Malibu reaches back and grabs onto Logan’s leg in a cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

BUFFER

Logan Mann has been eliminated

 

The Steamers can hardly believe what’s transpired before their eyes, the four on two advantage they had has dwindled to a shaky 3 on 2 matchup. None of the 3 warriors can find the words to describe the wretchedness Logan’s loss has left with their team. The Natural is the first into the ring for his team, and puts Malibu back on the defensive with an elbow drop. Wright then stands up, and brings his foe with him. Malibu begins pelting him with light body blows, but that surge is easily cut short by CW with a knee to the head. With Malibu now subdued, Wright ensnares both of his arms into a butterfly lock and tangles his leg behind Malibu’s. Trapped inside a deadly submission hold, Zack grunts in frustration, as Moneymaker demands he submit. But, Zack strives with incredible vigor to bust free of CW’s submission, but with his every limb under lock and key making it to the ropes is near impossible. Thus he’s forced to suffer a slow death at CW’s hands.

 

COLE

Wright and Zack have been at odds many times before, first during the Upstarts feud and now during the In Crowd’s war with The Enterprise. And it looks like CW might win the battle tonight.

 

“Strong men wax weak when stronger men prove unbeatable, eh Zachary?” Wright hollers and gets boos from the audience. Sadly, his haughty demeanor is wrecked by the wonderful image of Miss Money In The Bank performing a “boobie shimmy”. Operating in unified seduction, her torso and shoulders swing side to side, letting her bouncing breasts wash a tidal wave of pleasure over the audience, and Christian. Pleasure soon becomes pain, however, as Zack takes advantage of his distractedness and hip tosses him over! Instantly, CW leaps back upwards to try and reclaim his hold on Zack. But, Malibu dives around him and applies the tag to Miss California! There’s a thundering song of cheers from Krista’s homestate audience as she enters the ring. And these roaring fans scream even louder when she knocks CW over with a leg lariat. With a hand on his aching face, he stumbles upright and gets thrown into the ropes with an Irish whip! On the rebound, Krista catches him in the stomach with a spinning back kick. She then nails her hobbling foe with a beautiful dropsault and lands perfectly on her high heels.

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant as the California idol bows towards her loving fans. Moneymaker cuts short her celebration by brandishing her with right hands. As the fans boo his intrusion, his fists bulldoze her towards a neutral corner. He weakens her with a pair of elbows to the throat before whipping her to the opposite corner. She hits the ring posts with such awesome force that she wobbles backwards and falls right into his arms. Her opponent lifts her up for a back suplex, but the sex kitten slithers down his back. He hasn’t a moment to curse her counter before her tanned legs are slamming into him with a spinning wheel kick. The fans delight in watching him go shoulder first into the steel post, and are even more pleased when he clumsily tumbles to the outside mats.

 

COLE

Is it just me or do the rules only seem to apply half the time when Clem referees?

 

MACKENZIE

That’s because he only remembers the rules half the time.

 

Lending credence to Cole’s theory, Mister Dick enters the ring to attempt to decapitate Krista with a Stiff Kick! Though she ducks his signature strike, he still hits paydirt by managing to connect with an unmindful Malibu! Boos fill the arena as the OAOAST poster boy is abruptly dumped to ringside. Adding insult to injury, the former Aggie stands at the edge of the ropes and pretends to masturbate over Zack’s fallen corpse.

 

“BOOOOOOO!”

 

“We live in a terrible, terrible culture. Ya don’t like your spouse, divorce em and take half their assets. Ya don’t like someone you’ve only had 30 seconds of interaction with, kick them in the face and masturbate on them.” Miss Money In The Bank mulls over the odd scene. With philosophizing out the way, Krista gets some revenge for Zack by striking MD with a dropkick. Propelled through the ropes, he’s only able to save himself from Zack’s fate with a tenuous grip on the apron. As he brings himself up, Krista runs to the ropes in order to springboard at him with a dropkick. But Moneymaker brings a violent end to these plans through grabbing onto her ankles and throwing her back to the canvas! The audience admonishes him for his cruelty, but he only turns to them with an innocent shrug.

 

COLE

For someone who wrestles once every four months, Moneymaker sure is a crafty SOB.

 

COACH

He went to Yale, for Pete’s sake, he could probably figure out how to win the tag team titles with a tit mouse as a partner, using only fireman carries.

 

The Billion Dollar rushes back into the ring with an elbow aimed at his fallen foe’s head. She whimpers in distress, but knowing no help is coming, manages to get herself upright. The Messiah batters her with closed fists, lighting her up with an expert combination of rights and left. But, Krista stuns both he and the fans by whirling around and catching him into a rear waistlock. Despite her incredible fitness model strength she can’t keep Moneymaker under control for a German Suplex, and he wheels out the hold to throw her over with a belly to belly suplex! Leaping to his feet, he mocks Anglesault by dancing in circles and whooooing into the Honda Center sky.

 

“YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

 

Through a hold on her slinky top, Moneymaker lifts Krista off the canvas. He leaves her dizzied with a trio of elbows to the back of the head, before taking off to the ropes. Returning with a lariat, he finds she’s not as bad off as he remembered; the blond beauty catches onto his arm, and uses it to hold him in place as she tears into his stomach with knees. But, suddenly Moneymaker tucks his arm between his legs and swings her over with an Angle Slam! To gasps of immense horror and dread Krista is thrown down onto the ground by the former GM’s finisher.

 

COLE

Oh my! We could be looking at 3 on 1 odds for Zack right here. That is not good.

 

 

Moneymaker hooks Krista’s leg for what he believes will be her final three seconds in this match.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRENOZACKBREAKSITUP!

 

YEAAAAAAAA!” Past the wild cheers is the gravely voice of Theodore Moneymaker, lambasting the referee for not doing more to prevent Zack’s intrusion.

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA” the fans bleat as their fellow Golden Stater slowly tries to stagger off the mat. She can’t draw on their support, however, as Moneymaker keeps her week carefully measured body blows. He then clasps onto her arm and throws her at the ropes. The cables spit her back right into a diving lariat from the Yale alum. Moving with great haste, he dives on her for another fall…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

Krista’s left shoulder comes off the canvas, stunning Moneymaker into a silence of disbelief. Without so much as a vexed glance towards Clem, Moneymaker grabs Krista by the arm and guides her to his corner. Upon reaching his destination, he applies the tag with The Human Hard On. Entering the ring, MD measures her for the perfect punch, and then throws her against the mat with a lethal uppercut. As his eyes devour Krista’s prone body, he licks his lips over the harm he can cause her. Dropping down to his knees, he intends to turn fantasy into reality and suffocates her with an illegal choke.

 

“Come on,bitch! Say my name! Say my name!” he shouts, totally shunning the official’s warnings. Finally he relinquishes his harsh choke on Krista, leaving her hacking and wheezing on the mat. She hasn’t much time to recoup her breath before the Cocky Prick brings her upright and digs his fingers into her bright blue eyes.

 

Short of breath and nearly blinded, she’s easily whipped into the cables. But as she comes back, she experiences a burst of strength and leaps into her foe to bring him down across her knees with a KIDology (Codebreaker)!

 

 

COLE

Mister Dick just got inducted into the church of KIDology!

 

A mammoth shout of joy rises from the throats of the fans, and Zack pumps his fist in early celebration while Mister Dick rolls over onto the canvas. Krista tries to fulfill their bubbly expectations and pins her hated adversary.

 

ONE

 

TWO!

 

Mister Dick kicks out and an entire arena is left shocked and deflated. While Krista is left to try and piece together how she failed to finish off MD, he decides not to tempt fate any further and crawls away to tag CW. The Natural rushes into the ring and accosts Krista with European uppercuts across the throat. Feeling her weakened by his favorite strikes, the DC native tries to whip her into the corner. But she catches him by surprise and reverses the hold. But he recovers from his shock soon enough to leap onto the ropes to avoid a grizzly collision with the posts. Without wasting a single moment Wrights comes flying off with a forearm! But Krista counters his attack by stabbing her boot into his midsection. He’s hobbled over by the attack, and effortlessly trapped into side headlock. From there the popular starlet swings around and gives CW a taste of Life In The Fab Lane (twist of fate)!

 

“YEAAAAAA!” screams her legion of Golden Staters, coming to life as Krista lays her arm across MD for a vital fall…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Somehow, CW kicksout! But just getting his shoulder off the canvas, seems to have drained Wright of precious energy and lies spent on the canvas. But, Krista can’t capitalize on his weakness, mortally exhausted herself from the hellish contest. Yet, she can’t take the same time to recover as CW due to Moneymaker returning to the contest to terrorize her with stomps.

 

COLE

Now this is ridiculous! Come on, Clem!

 

CLEM

Hey! I don’t go to a glory hole and tell you how to suck dick, so you don’t tell me how to do my job!

 

COLE

 

Meanwhile in the ring Moneymaker heads to the ropes, intending on hitting Miss Money In The Bank with a billion dollar kneelift. But he can’t even bounce off the cables before Zack lowers them and causes him to take a cataclysmic tumble to ringside. While the audience cheers Moneymaker’s downfall, their heroine is put down by a bulldog! Quickly, Wright scrambles to the top rope, and forgoing all grandiose prelude, flies off with a frog splash. The Honda Center is overjoyed to watch The Natural plow into Krista’s raised knees! Joining their cheers in the arena soundtrack are Wright’s pained screams as he bounces away from Krista.

 

COACH

Naw, man! How you gonna miss ya move like that? How you gonna miss ya move, son?

 

Equally as perturbed is Wright, who lies face down on the canvas, uttering profanities that haven’t been heard since Taming of the Shrew was first enacted. Krista is every bit as fatigued, all the bones in her body feeling has heavy and impossible to move as solid steel. She’d like nothing more than to reach her corner for a much needed tag with Zack, but her burned out body won’t even being to cooperate with her.

 

“LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!”

 

 

COLE

Southern California getting behind its homestate hero!

 

 

MACKENZIE

Only because they know if they don’t, her congressmen daddy will introduce legislation to raise taxes by a billion percent.

 

There’s some life left in Krista; she brings her arm off the canvas, shaking it as though she were trying to will all the strength in the world to come to her. The audience sees her admirable sprit and increases the volume behind their already loud chants. Off to the side, Wright is forced to rely on his own will and the ropes as his support. Though, paltry they combine in bringing him to his feet. As the fans reach their loudest point yet, Krista finds her footing. Wishing to draw first blood, she rushes across the ring and leaps at Wright for her KIDology. But, Christian counters her in mid leap and leads her into the air for a Wright Off! However, she locks her lovely legs around his neck and hauls him downwards in a hurricanrana into a pinfall! Buzzlefoxer drops down to score the fall as the audience explodes with glee.

 

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

BUFFER

Christian Wright has been eliminated!

 

COLE

The Dream Team has even upped the odds and turned a dream matchup into a nightmare for The Steamers!

 

Moneymaker hasn’t the slightest clue how to continue; he doesn’t know whether to bury his head into his hands and cry, or to use those hands to plug his ears in protection from raucous ovation of the Honda Center. Unnoticed by Moneymaker in his bewilderment, is an outraged Wright procuring a chair form beneath ringside. Very much aware of Wright’s actions, the audience blasts him with heat as he enters the ring. Their words change from that of hatred to that of warning as he winds up to take a swing at Krista. But she ducks bellow his incoming attack and the metal object slams into Buzzlefoxer’s head!

 

“OOOOOH!” reacts the audience as the 86 year old capsizes to the canvas.

 

MACKENZIE

That’s what you get for that glory hole crack. God don’t like ugly, Clem.

 

Wright hasn’t the slightest bit of concern for the fact he may have killed the oldest person in the OAOAST. Instead he directs all his energy and focus to turning around and smashing Krista in the back with his chair! Krista crumbles to the canvas, hollering as agony bursts all across her back. There’s no chance for CW to celebrate as Malibu wipes him out with a diving forearm! The two exchange punches, jumbled in a tangled heap that rolls them straight out the ring. After hitting the floor they both speed to their feet, but Zack isn’t quick enough to best CW and The Natural punts him in the testicles with a brutal kick!

 

“BOOOOOO!” the fans hiss at CW, as Zack is left paralyzed by the pain that explodes throughout his netheregions.

 

“Though my flame in this blazing fire has been extinguished, you Zachary Malibu, you will find that your end is neigh!” Wright shouts over his shoulder, sulking back up the ramp.

 

MACKENZIE

So much for those evened up odds. Life is so, so good when you’re bad!

 

Meanwhile inside the ring, Mister Dick dives upon Krista for a fall.

 

COLE

What is he doing? There’s no referee.

 

How wrong you are! Allison comes charging down the ramp, attired in referee garb. Met with a chorus of jeers and disdain, she slides into the ring to make Krista’s loss official…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Krista kicks out of certain defeat, drawing a grandoise shout of happiness from the audience. Their noise level is amazing, a huge outpouring of cheers and chants, all with the single task of bringing about a victory for the walk of famer.

 

COLE

The Dream Team is hanging on, somehow they’re hanging on!

 

The support of the audience is an invigorating potion that restores Krista with the life she needs to get upright. Unfortunately for her fresh foe does the same, with full intention on bringing his rival’s time in the match to an end. Mister Dick pounces on her and bombs forearms across her back that permit him to irish whip her to the corner. Moneymaker now enters the ring to try and lacerate her with a lariat. But she thrills her homestate, by rolling beneath his arm. While the Billion Dollar Heir is nauseated by his violent crash, Krista unfurls her body and lays out MD with a high knee lift. Just as Moneymaker is beginning to recover, Krista closes the gap between them and knocks him over with her buns of steel! Terribly exhausted from this latest burst of energy, she makes a mad dash to her corner to tag in The Franchise before collapsing!

 

“YEAAAAAAA!” comes the mighty scream of the audience, and even though Moneymaker doesn’t see Zack he knows well enough to make a hasty retreat. Thankfully his escape is given aid by Allison who runs interference by lecturing Zack on his many personality flaws. Of course Zack isn’t keen on being dressed down, and brushes Allison, still screaming, aside. But Allison’s annoyance worked to Mister Dick’s benefit as he’s able to meet Zack with a pair of left hands. But the blows are taken in stride by the POP and he comes back with left hands of his own! Realizing the punches are doing nothing to hurt Zack, MD launches a lariat at him. But Malibu ducks and the errant strikes cause MD to go in a clumsy twirl. Unable to regain his balance Mister Dick is forced onto Zack’s shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry.

 

COLE

What does the In Crowd founder have in store?

 

Whatever it is, Mister Dick wants no part of it and furiously elbows Zack in the head. Though Malibu tries to hold strong, the culminated damage of the attacks proves too much and he finally relinquishes the Human Hard On. But Zack doesn’t go on the defensive, instead throwing out a snap School’s Out! Yet, Mister Dick catches the Preppy’s boot and throws it back down to the canvas. Having thrown Zack off a little bit, MD grabs onto his arm and whips him into the corner. He runs right after him and leaps upwards to ram his Shiny Metal Dick right down Malibu’s throat!

 

COLE

The Deadly Alliance’s newest member just laid right into the In Crowd leader, and you know Alfdogg is sitting backstage loving that.

 

As Zack comes staggering out from his position in the corner wounded by a severe headache, Mister Dick leaps onto the top rope. He makes a dick sucking motion to an elderly lady in the front row, and once that disgusting bit of business is over dives off the top rope to bring Malibu down with a shoulder tackle. Mister Dick then stretches across Zack for a fall…

 

ONESUPERFAST!

TWOSUPERFAST!

 

Zack’s left shoulder finds its way off the canvas! Angered, MD smashes his hand against the mat, feeling that an already unfairly fast count wasn’t fast enough. Allison is unmoved by MD’s complaints and orders him to finish off Zack. The problem is Malibu is pushing onto all fours, with a wild look clouding his eyes. MD snarls in defiance and charges him, but Zack pounces forward and dives to the side to roll him up with a school boy!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Moneymaker breaks up the pinfall, and then exits the ring as fast as his feet will carry him. Still wishing to lay hands on The Messiash, Zack runs after him with the mania of a feral wolf. But his chase is cut short when MD snares him into a full nelson and gives him Pure Penetration!

 

COLE

He hit it!

 

Mister Dick hooks Zack’s leg for a pinfall

 

SUPERFASTONE!

 

SUPERFASTTWO!

 

SUPERFASTHREE...NO!

 

The crowd roars, and Mister Dick can hardly believe his horrible luck. He gets up and approaches Allison again, then waves her off and forgets about it, pulling Zack back up and hitting him with a second Pure Penetration!

 

MACKENZIE

So nice, he had to do it twice.

 

Mister Dick makes another cover, and Allison makes another ultra fast count.

 

SUPERFASTONE!

 

SUPERFASTTWO!

 

SUPERFASTHREE!

 

FOOT ON THE ROPES!

 

COLE

The Dream Team is still in this contest!

 

The fans are on their feet and so is The Human Hard On. But while they may cheer their lungs out, Mister Dick is tearing his hair out in a mad fury. At Allison’s behest, he let’s go of his hair to grab hold of Zack’s and bring the prep to his feet. He throws Malibu to the ropes, and lowers his head, expecting to be leapfrogged. But The Franchise throws him for a loop and kicks him in the chest! MD rockets upright, screaming in pain. But his shouts are muffled into silence when Zack corrals him into an inside cradle.

 

ONE!

 

Moneymaker into the ring!

 

TWO!

 

But Krista dropkicks him away! It doesn’t matter however as Mister Dicks pops out the unexpected pin on a well delayed two count by Allison.

 

COLE

Dammit this isn’t fair!

 

Malibu could never have enough patience to argue with Allison over her miserable officiating, and so instead continues to battle MD. He drags him up by his curly brown hair, but halfway up, the Cocky Prick blasts his foe with a low blow. As the fans boo the lowdown tactic, MD takes a step back to admire his treachery. Done with self congratulating he sends his foot forward in a School’s Out! But Zack ducks the finisher theft and runs beneath the former Aggie’s lanky leg. As MD turns around to get a bead on Zack, the former world champ clocks him with the School’s Out! The fans come unglued for the legendary finisher as Zack drops down onto The Cocky Prick for the pivotal fall.

 

COACH

Come on, Mister Dick! You gotta kick out!

 

Actually, no he doesn’t, as Allison flat out refuses to perform a count. No excuses. No pretending to see a fly. She simply refuses to count. These shenanigans devour any chivalry Zack once had, and his eyes blaze with ill intent towards Allison. Thankfully for his good guy image Krista does the dirty work and spears her to the canvas! The lovely ladies roll across the ring and dump themselves to the outside. Allison isn't any match for the 4 time tag champion, and against her will is slung across Krista's knee. Cackling with mischievous glee, Krista arches back with her right hand brings it across Allison's BUTT! Then sudden she reaches back once more and delivers another stroke over Allison's ass. Krista continues to spank Allison at will, while Zack's former lady love shrieks for help that will never come.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Zack’s enjoyment of raunchy show is snuffed out when The Billion Dollar Heir strikes him from behind with a running axe handle smash.

 

COLE

Here we go! Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker hooking up for the first time since Angleslam!

 

Round 2 of Malibu/Moneymaker, goes the Billion Dollar Heir’s way as he manages to push Zack into the corner with a flood of elbow strikes. Moneymaker then punishes his archenemies with furious knees to the gut that leave Zack weak and nauseous. He sezies on Zack’s vulnerability by hooking him into a front facelock for the Spear Of Longinus! But The Messiah can’t keep his hold for more than a few seconds before Malibu’s regained strength allows him to power out his grip . Now free of Moneymaker, The Franchise tags him with a rapid fire series of jabs!

 

COLE

That’s gotta feel good for Zack!

 

Unfortunately the joy isn’t long lasting; Moneymaker puts an end to Zack’s flurry with a jawbreaker. Attempting to finish Zack before he can gain his second wind, Moneymaker pounces on her with the Bank Vault sleeper hold. The affects of the signature move are immediate, a painful constricting of his breathing. This is more then a mere rest hold, for Zack this is onerous battle to remain conscious. Moneymaker does his effort to stay awake no favors cranking on his neck as roughly as his strength will allow. The supportive crowd continues the task of rallying the babyface, singing his name. Drawing strength from their kindness, The Franchise hammers his elbows against Moneymaker’s stomach. At first they have little effect but overtime they serve to weaken once epic restraints, and Zack breaks free of the finisher!

 

COLE

He’s out!

 

Zack stuns Moneymaker with an inverted atomic drop that doubles him over, then hits the ropes. As Zack comes off, his feet come off the canvas, and the point of his knee is headed for the side of Moneymaker’s head...The Messiah avoids certain concussion by sliding his head out the way and Malibu whiffs on the Zack Attack attempt. Moneymaker takes a moment to breath a sigh of relief, and once his breath is caught he grabs Malibu in a front facelock for the Spear of Longinus. But Malibu angrily shoves him back that sends the deadly School’s Out his way! Moneymaker dives backwards as if he were trying to escape the swipe of a grizzly bear. And with Zack snarling at him like that very animal, the tycoon realizes its best to let Malibu have this victory. Thus with his health relatively intact he slides beneath the ropes, and hastily retreats up the ramp. Though he hangs his head in defeat, he's at least content with the knowledge he'll live to fight Zack another day.

 

“BOOOOOOO!” hisses the audience as Zack leans over the ropes and demands he return with a voice full of fire. As Moneymaker continues his trek without even acknowledging his calls to action, Zack sees he has no choice but to fetch his foe himself. But, his mission is put on hold by Mister Dick coming in and dropkicking him in the side of the face!

 

MACKENZIE

We’re still in this, or so it would seem.

 

MD waits for Malibu to stand, and when he does, The Human Hard On surges forward to connect with the Stiff Kick! Down goes Zack crumpling as though a sword was just driven through his face. Mister Dick dives on top of him, looking to close the book on this match once and for all. Referee Charles Robinson slides into the ring to make the count…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

A returning Krista breaks up the fall, bringing a gigantic eruption from the city of Anaheim, and an eruption of anger from Mister Dick that materlizes as him lunging at tanned goddess! But, he falls right into Krissy’s trap; her legs jump into his upper body and her knees cave in his chest with the KIDology! While the audience continues to sing with joy, Krista rolls him onto his back to win this war…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

MISTER DICK KICKSOUT!

 

COLE

I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it!

 

The fans fall back into their seats, unable to comprehend the incredible fight Mister Dick has shown tonight. More hopeful than Anaheim is Miss California, who drags MD off the canvas. Krista traps the still stunned Real American Dick into a butterfly suplex, but though she has the will, she’s lacking the strength to suplex him over. Her futile efforts cost her dearly; Mister Dick powers out of her grip to hoist onto his broad shoulders.

 

“You gonna get cock blocked, bitch!” Mister Dick bellows to wrathful booing of the audience.

 

COACH

It’s that time!

 

But Mister Dick’s finisher is interrupted by a School’s Out that impacts precisely with his chin! Eyes roll back into his head, blood flies from his mouth, and the 6’4 powerhouse topples over with Krista landing on top of him.

 

COLE

That could be the biggest School’s Out of the night!

 

Zack and the audience hold their breath and hope against all hope as they watch Robinson count this latest fall…

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!!!

MACKENZIE

35 minutes next to Michael Cole, just to watch my team blow a 4 on 2 lead. Could it have been any worse? I suppose I could’ve spent 45 minutes next to Michael Cole.

 

COLE

I also could’ve been naked. And erect!

 

A shout of euphoria comes from the stands and the rocks the arena to its very core. The Franchise falls to his knees, overwhelmed by feelings of small joy for the victory, and extreme disappointment over Moneymaker’s cowardly escape. Krista tries to cheer Zack out of his doldrums, but nothing short of Moneymaker’s lifeless body at his feet could bring a smile to the In Crowd leader’s face

 

COLE

They did it. Zack Malibu and Krista Isadora Duncan came form behind to overcome the odds and pull off a miracle. What a triumph from our biggest male star and our biggest female star!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen the survivors of this contest…ZACK MALIBU AND KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!

 

The remaining members of The Dream Team enter to fantastic cheers the OAOAST Marks. Bo helps up Zack up and gives him the most non-homosexual hug he can manage. The Blonds check on Krista’s health and Ned offers profuse apologies Krista plays nice and doesn’t wonder why of all the things Ned should apologize for, he picks a DQ in a wrestling match. With the two survivors in good health, the Dream Team joins hands and lifts their arms in exultant celebration. The standing audience does the same, cheering as loud as their voices will allow as red white and blue conffietti rains beautifully down from the ceiling.