Tony149 0 Report post Posted December 5, 2008 (edited) COLE Coming up next, tag team action featuring The Love Doctors against the pair of individuals who did this to them a couple of weeks ago. [b][color="#FF8C00"]OAOAST FLASHBACK[/color] [color="#9932CC"]Held[/color][color="#FFFF00"]DOWN[/color]~! [color="#FF0000"]November 14, 2008[/color][/b] [quote]Inside the trainer’s room [Mr. Dick and Malaysia] find Drs. Max Anderson and Steven Pigley, The Love Doctors. MR. DICK Did you see the video? PIGLEY Yep. MR. DICK So I guess you know why I’m here. ANDERSON To say hello? MR. DICK No, you sarcastic bastard. I need you to subscribe something for my problem. ANDERSON Not with that kind of attitude. MR. DICK Wait a minute. Doctors aren’t supposed to let their personal beliefs get in the way of doing their job. PIGLEY We also don’t go around handing out prescriptions like candy either. I mean, what if a guy wanted somas when a little Tylenol PM would do? MR. DICK (sigh) Are you gonna help me get rid of these creepy crawlers or not? ANDERSON My God, man, you mean you haven’t gotten that taken care of yet? MR. DICK And pay out the urethra?! Do you know how much it costs to see a doctor?! ANDERSON Yeah, we’re doctors. PIGLEY And I also moonlight as a Chicago radio personality. Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio! MR. DICK (cupping ear) Hey, you guys hear that? The Doctors of Doctornomics lean in for a listen… * WHAP * …and get smacked across the face! MR. DICK That’s the sound of my patience wearing off. MD sends the license M.D. Pigley flying across the trainer’s table while Malaysia GORILLA PRESSES Anderson onto the table itself![/quote] Upon the video’s conclusion we cut backstage where Tony Brannigan is with Mr. Dick and Malaysia. BRANNIGAN In his first television interview since joining the Deadly Alliance one week ago, I have the opportunity to speak with this man, Mr. Dick. He’s of course accompanied by Malaysia. MR. DICK (chewing gum) Now officially the world’s most deadliest woman I might add. BRANNIGAN Be that as it may, before we get to your match tonight, let us go back to this past Sunday night at November Reign. You both had major bouts on the card, but neither one was successful. In fairness to you, however, Mr. Dick, it became 2 on 1 once team captain Theodore Moneymaker hung you out to dry. Though it doesn’t change the fact you guys blew a 4 on 2 advantage. MR. DICK At least you called a spade a spade, Brannigan. But you failed to mention how Malaysia got robbed of the Women’s title. She had Jade Rodez right where she wanted her until Auntie Alix came to her aid. BRANNIGAN Need I remind you that match was no disqualification? A stipulation Malaysia specifically demanded! MALAYSIA Let my little pony gallop awhile longer before I take her out back and put her down. It’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase. The terror in your eyes, the fear in your voice… Ooh, it makes me feel so…alive. BRANNIGAN That’s one sick lady you got there. MR. DICK She’s fine. And so am I after the luxury liner I was on Sunday night sank. Had there been a co-captain onboard, like say me, once the captain fell asleep behind the wheel I could’ve steered the ship in the right direction. Instead our so-called captain abandons ship with an important piece of cargo onboard. BRANNIGAN Allow me to guess -- you. MR. DICK (nodding head) Fortunately my enormous package kept me afloat and I was able to navigate the rocky waters back to shore. That’s why Malaysia and I are excited to be part of the premier organization in this industry, the Deadly Alliance. When Alfredo and the boys say they’re gonna do something, they get it done. There’s no false promises or empty rhetoric when it comes to the DA, just like there ain’t with me. I told everybody bigger and better things lied ahead for Mr. Dick and after last week I’d say things...just...got...DEADLIER! BRANNIGAN You’ve got the catchphrase down, but can you keep The Love Doctors down in order to pick up the victory here tonight? MR. DICK What are they so angry about anyway? They’re lucky I didn’t go to the review board to get their licenses revoked after the way they treated me when I came seeking medical assistance. But they’ll be a pretty good test for us before the Anderson Cup. BRANNIGAN Wait a minute. You and Malaysia in the Anderson Cup? MR. DICK Isn’t right around the corner? BRANNIGAN January 2009, yes. MR. DICK Figured so. I’ve been in a few of those rodeos; never won it because a man can only carry someone else’s weight around for so long. The 2009 Anderson Cup is gonna be a whole new different story though. I got me a partner who can handle their fair share of the load this go around. BRANNIGAN Do you not remember who the current tag titleholders are? MR. DICK Reject and TK. And I see where you’re getting at. Well I got some Hot Newz~! for you, pal. I ran this idea past the DA and they love it. See, there ain’t nobody who can dethrone the champs, so we’re in it for the other gold prize at stake -- that humongous trophy awarded to the winner. Malaysia and I could have some real fun with that. BRANNIGAN :o MALAYSIA Hmm, just the thought of you jabbing that big hard wooden trophy deep inside drives me CRAZY. BRANNIGAN I’d be careful doing anything out of the ordinary with that object. Think about the splinters! MALAYSIA (eyes rolled in back of head) OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!! MR. DICK I think she’s ready for action, wouldn’t you say? So Love Doctors, whatcha gonna do when Dickzilla and the world’s most deadliest women pop off all over you?! [i][color="#FF0000"]When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride![/color] [color="#0000FF"]I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls![/color][/i] The music segues to “Womanizer” as Mr. Dick and Malaysia march out through a golden shower of pyro. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle, representing THE DEADLY ALLIANCE! First, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, a former Women’s Champion, presenting the Ultimate Combination of Beauty and Beatdowns... MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSIA!! Her partner hails from San Antonio, Texas, and weights in at a hard 237 pounds… MISSSSSTERRRRRRRR DICK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Real American Dick channels his inner Hulk Hogan, cupping not his ear but his BALL SACK in every which direction, before he tears away his chaps and parades around in short shorts with a heart strategically placed on his crotch. COACH Ever heard of ball in a cup, Cole? Well this is the new organic version of it, BALLS in a cup! COLE :rolleyes: I understand our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan has paged The Love Doctors to the interview area. Let’s go to them right now. And we do, to find Dr. Max scribbling on his clipboard and Dr. Steven making sure his t-shirt plugging his Love Live program on local Chicago radio is front and center. BRANNIGAN Arguably their biggest match to date, tonight my guests look to avenge a beat down from two weeks ago. DR. STEVEN We have all the paperwork in order Tony, all that’s left to fill out is Mr. Dick and Malaysia’s time of death. DR. MAX Ever heard the phrase “the operation was a success but the patient died”? BRANNIGAN Indeed I have. DR. MAX/STEVEN This is one operation we hope the patients do die! [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] [I]Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you[/I] 20,000 screaming Osmonds, mostly on Marie’s side of the fence, welcome the Love Doctors onstage, and for their loyal and vocal support they are treated to a strip tease! BUFFER And their opponents! Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, the team of MAX ANDERSON and STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Anderson and Pigley wave and blow kisses to their adoring fans. The Doctors of Doctornomics pumped for their match. COACH I bet there isn’t a day that goes by Anderson and Pigley don’t regret setting up their practice in Salt Lake City. They’d be the richest men in the world had they done so! COLE If you wanna go there, Coach, I suggest you call in to the Love Line hosted by Dr. Steven Pigley on local Chicago radio and ask. Some teams use rock, paper, scissors to determine who’ll start for their team, Mr. Dick and Malaysia, however, squeeze each other’s crotches until somebody releases. Never one to go off prematurely the Human Hard On emerges victorious. COLE That’s kind of like how we decide who speaks first, Coach. COACH In your dreams maybe. Malaysia concedes defeat with a congratulatory bite on the ear. Meanwhile, Anderson gets the nod for The Love Doctors. * DINGDINGDING * Threaten little by his opponent Mr. Dick grabs a side headlock and gives Dr. Max a NUGGIE~! COACH :lol: COLE How disrespectful. I’d love nothing more than to see that man go on a Gurney to the Center of the Earth. MD hears it from the crowd for his balls in a cup taunt, to which he challenges anybody to do something about it. Max Anderson does with an arm drag out of a tie-up and body slam. Dick charges back and into a side headlock takedown, then a NUGGIE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MR. DICK :angry: A dropkick wipes the look off MD’s face and leads to a tag. Face to face, Malaysia offers Dr. Max the first punch. Ever the gentlemen he declines, preferring to lockup instead. * FOREARM~! * “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Unlike the good doctor, Malaysia has no problem firing the first shot. Anderson shakes off the cobwebs and issues a warning, one that goes unheeded. * FOREARM~! * His patience wearing thin Dr. Max asks Malaysia to wrestle, not fight. Malaysia ignores his request and fires another forearm…but does a faceplant courtesy of a drop toehold! Anderson places her in a front facelock and tags fellow Love Doctor Steven Pigley. COACH Did you see that, Cole? Max Anderson totally copped a feel. He ought to have his licensed removed and be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. There’s no place for that kind of harassment. COLE This wouldn’t have anything to do with their blue M&M rib on you? COACH I don’t know what you’re talking about. COLE Riiight. Malaysia rakes the eyes to escape an arm-wringer, then across the back for kicks. YAKUZA KICK TO THE CHEST floors Pigley. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! The Real American Dick cheers on his main squeeze as she decides to inflict more pain on her foe. Scooped for a slam Dr. Pigley manages to float over the top and roll Malaysia up in a SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Dr. Max and Mr. Dick enter the fray and a pier-six erupts. Whipped into each other MD is spun around from the impact and drops on all fours…and Malaysia just so happens to fall right behind to put the pair in a hilarious compromising position. COLE :lol: COACH Oh, yeah. You laugh now but I promise you’ll be crying later. This match is far from over. MD and Malaysia roll outside to regroup. COLE Fans, the tape machines are rolling. Should the match end during the break we’ll show it to you when we return. But stay right where you are. HeldDOWN~! continues after these messages. [color="#000080"][b]Tonight following HeldDOWN~! on TSM[/b][/color] [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKhTr9bDU-k[/video] The action resumes with Mr. Dick paint brushing Dr. Steven in an arm bar. Pigley fights back and breaks free, but MD reverses a whip and lands a clothesline… NO, CRUCIFIX BOMB!!! COLE Back to live action and WHAT A COUNTER! ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Dr. Pigley heads up top following a suplex for his patent SHOOTING STAR ELBOW. He plays to the crowd and lives to regret it as Malaysia SWIPES his legs out from under, CROTCHING the Love Doctor on the turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mr. Dick unloads a FACIAL, formerly the discus punch, on Pigley that knocks him outside where Malaysia delivers a slam on the arena floor. Malaysia receives the tag once Dr. Steven is dumped back in and hits a butterfly suplex, then hooks the leg on the pin attempt. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Short-arm elbow smash levels Pigley, whose chest Malaysia tries to leave her imprint on with repeated stomps. The Ultimate Combination of Beauty and Beatdowns rams Dr. Steven into the buckle and, following a tag, joins Mr. Dick in a picturesque double back suplex! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Luckily for Dr. Steven his colleague Max was there to make the save. COACH You put it well, Mikey Cole. The Love Doctors got lucky. If not for Dr. Max there’s no doubt in my mind that would’ve been it. * PATOOEY * A wad of spit is enough to bait Dr. Max inside, which allows MD and Malaysia to put the boots to Dr. Steven while the official deals with the other Love Doctor. COACH Go ahead and whine, Cole. Be like Mack Brown and the University of Texas. Like them, by now you should know how the game is played. It may not always be fair but at the end of the day the objective is simple: just win, baby. JUST BEING A DICK, Pigley is head butted in the groin! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Once again the legal participant, Malaysia sits Dr. Steven upright and grinds her knee into the back of his spine while yanking his hair with one hand and his nose with the other! COACH This move even pains me, baby boy. I’ve got such a great but controversial line. COLE Well say it that way I wouldn’t have to deal with you anymore! * CLAP * CLAP * CLAP * CLAP * Fueled by the crowd Pigley hits a jawbreaker to break from Malaysia’s grip, setting the stage for a most thrilling finish. Their respective partners in position for the tag, it becomes a race to see who can reach their corner first. Mr. Dick turns this into a game of inches, shoving his pelvis through the ropes to make the tag all the more easier for Malaysia. And it pays dividends as she tags his member, but the Love Doctors tag as well! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MR. DICK :o SPINNING BACKFISTS put MD on his heels long enough for a whip and BAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP! The Real American Dick begs off to buy Malaysia time to sneak up on Dr. Max, but he spots and drops her with a clothesline! COACH What a fraud Max Anderson is. He waits until Malaysia isn’t ready to throw a cheap shot. This after she offered him the first punch earlier in the match. COLE I don’t know what match you’re watching, but it sure as hell isn’t the same one I am. MD blindsides Dr. Max, then presses him in the air on the rebound…but Anderson slips out and with assistance from Dr. Steven they hit an inverted atomic drop/dropkick combo! COACH It’s the Lovematic Grampa! The Love Doctors aren’t done yet. With their opponent dazed they take him on a GURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! MALAYSIA YANKS EARL HEBNER AWAY AND SCURRIES OFF TO AVOID DETECTION! EARL :huh: Unbeknownst to Dr. Steven, Malaysia appears behind and delivers a LOW BLOW~! Dr. Max charges forward and into a big BOSSMAN SLAM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Malaysia stomps on Mr. Dick’s pubes to revive him, and he finishes Dr. Max off with the COCK BLOCK! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… MR. DICK and MALAYSIA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE An impressive victory to say the least. This, ladies and gentlemen, the kind of action you’ll see when the Anderson Cup kicks off next month. COACH No other team should even bother entering the Anderson Cup. After their performance tonight I say Mr. Dick and Malaysia are the clear favorites. Edited December 6, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
