This has been the coldest winter ever.

[This is Bo 0]

As I sit at work, writing this, my mind drift at the day that my ex-wife was diagnosed with Cancer. The treatment is grueling, I knew it was tough, but in the back of my head I didnt think it was that difficult. Seeing my ex-wife, so filled with life and fight (Trust me, alot of fight) turning into a person that has no energy, with her eyes deep in her socket, wanting to give up.

 

Looking at my kids, wanting to see mommy, but in her request, she ask for them not to see her in the state. Granting her wishes, I deal with the questions of "what's wrong with mommy, why she dont want to see us?" Explaining to my kids that mommy is sick, wondering if I should say that's she's going to get better tears my heart apart because I HAVE NO IDEA.

 

Christmas will be the worst christmas that I'll go through. I haven't spend christmas with my ex-wife for a few years, but my kids going back and forth from my house to mommy's house is like a weird tradition. Now, I have to wait to see if they're ever going to see that again.

 

I've been through some death's. My best friend getting killed, my father dying (but he aint shit, never took care of me) but this seems to be the hardest thing I've gone through and she's not even dead. I try to take my mind off of the dillemma but my mind keeps drifting back to that one night, she calls me and says "I have Cancer." I damn near broke, we may not be together but she still in my heart, she is the mother of my two beautiful kids, and for that I will always love her. We get a long just fine, and knowing she has something and there's nothing that I can do makes me feel helpless. As she cries, in fatigue, I cry in helplessness. As she struggles to keep her spirits up, I struggle to not break down, as she lives for the kids, I live for hope.

 

This has been my coldest winter ever, and I will never be the same again.

 

There has been some good news, the Cancer did not spread (That has been the early check up) and they said that it looks like there's no spread. If that's the case, then the kids gifts will be their mother.

 

I'm still keeping hope alive, even though my keyboard right now is wet with tears. My work tells me to take a few days off, and I asked them this... "And do what? my job is the only thing that keeps my mind entertain (Well, not now, heh.) If all ends well, I will be back in writing spirits in the beginning of the year, I will let people know about my return. I pray night in and night out for her health, I may not be a religious man, but I'm looking for help and guidance from a higher power, and I'm hoping that my prayers will be answer.

 

God Bless.

[Toxxic 0]

Take care man. All that can be said. Best wishes to you and yours.

[Mad Scientist 0]

What he said. Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

[Retard Girl 0]

how old are your kids?

 

this may be off-colour or overstepping or whatnot, but i believe that the kids should know exactly what is going on. it's something they're going to have to deal with, life experience. it's hard talking to kids about this sort of thing, but kids are a lot smarter than they are given credit for, and they know something is going on. and left in the dark, their little imaginations wander to things like what's wrong and where's mommy and did i cause this and is this punishment for being bad and will i get sick too?

 

and if they ask if she will get better, and you don't know? it's okay to tell them that. it's also important for them to know that someone will always be there to take care of them.

 

http://www.indiaparenting.com/raisingchild...gchild054.shtml

 

good luck, is all i can say.

[This is Bo 0]

My daughter is 5 and my son is 4. They are smart kids, but I really dont think they understand the concept of no longer being there. They have not gone through a death and that's what scares me. I'm trying to comfort my kids, telling them that Daddy will always be there for them, but, what if something happens to me. I've always said that Death is right behind everybody's ear, it can come any time when you least expect. Although, I dont know if keeping them pre-occupied is better for them or not. Keeping their minds on other things so they dont think too much of Mommy. I dont know if that helps them, or, it actually helps me more.

 

Any advise is helpful. I've been a single parent for over 1 year and a half and this has been by far the most difficult situation I have to go through. I had custody of the kids so that mommy can get her act together and that's something that I and mommy explained to the kids. Now, this is all me because their mother dont want to see them seeing her like that, you know, all weak and shit.

 

Thanks

[Retard Girl 0]

it's just better to confront these things, instead of trying to skirt around the subject. make sure they know that someone will always take care of them. make sure they know that people don't get cancer from "being bad" and that they can't catch it like a cold. and ask them how they feel and what they think, it might surprise you.

[This is Bo 0]

Thank you for your advice. I will try what ever at this moment.