HD: Love Shack

[King Cucaracha 0]

[color=blue]OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents...[/color]
[color=purple][size=6]#~~THE LOVE SHACK~~#[/size][/color]

[IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/loveshack.jpg]


It's 2009 and it's back! The Love Shack set (which as you know by now of course is pretty much a desk and various other clutter) has been dusted off, dusted down and stands in the OAOAST ring once more. The main difference is the OAOAST World Title standing out amongst the rest of the junk on Leon's desk. Sat stoney faced on stools position at opposite sides of the ring are Melody Nerdly and Jade Rodez-Duncan, with Women's Title draped across her lap. Both make a point not to look at each other, except for occassional glares out of the corner of their eye to check that the other isn't looking at them. Mediating all this is Leon Rodez, out from in front of his desk and standing in the middle of the ring between the two.

LEON
Welcome welcome, one and all, to the first ever World Championship Edition of The Love Shack!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

LEON
Don't get too excited. It's basically the same thing as before, it's just I've got a belt sitting on the desk now. All the same, please join me in welcoming my guests tonight... Jade Rodez-Duncan and Melody Nerdly!

A cheer goes up for both and the girls catch each other giving each other a catty look and turn away from each other.

LEON
Can you feel the love?

*AHEM*

LEON
Anyway, these two girls are set to compete for the OAOAST Women's Title at AnglePalooza and it should be a fine example of friendly competition. Keyword, should. Tonight, we're here to discuss that match and answer a few questions. Or, so they think. My first question isn't so much a question as it is a confession though. I didn't actually bring you two out here to talk business. This is actually one of those surprise interventions. Like Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.

MELODY
Or like Krusty The Clown and Sideshow Bob?

LEON
...if you like, sure. Point is, you two need to sort this out.

JADE
She needs to buy me a new top, beca...

LEON
I'm sorry, my mistake. You two need to sort this [i]like adults[/i].

Jade scowls at her uncle.

LEON
I mean really, squabbling in a McDonalds like two teenage girls? Come on. You're the Women's Champion. Supposed to be a role model. And as for you Melody, no offence but you're old enough to know better, no matter what age your Gamer Tag profile claims you to be. Seriously now, what's the big deal here? Anybody?

JADE
I'll tell you what the big deal is. She's jealous.

MELODY
Excuse me?

JADE
You're jealous. We're supposed to be friends but as soon as things start going right for me, you can't handle it and get super hurt about it. When I was poor little Jade struggling to adjust you were right there to play the best friend. But when I won the Women's Title and pinned you at New Year's, suddenly you've got a problem.

MELODY
Naw naw. That ain't it at all. The fact is all this success has gone to your head and suddenly you act like your stuff don't stink all of a sudden! You're turning into some kinda spoilt little mommy's girl and I'm not good enough for you anymore.

Jade looks shocked.

MELODY
Ever since New Year you've been a major pain. Everytime I chat to you on MSN, it's all "me, me, me". What clothes you bought. What famous people you've met. What magazine wants to talk to you. My fabulous life. You're like those annoying self-centred girls on My Super Sweet 16. Suddenly you're too good to talk about retro cartoons I've been watching. You don't wanna know about any online petitions I've started. And when I sent you that e-mail about that great Dungeons and Dragons game I had over Christmas, you couldn't even be bothered to reply.

LEON
No offence but that does sound a little boring.

MELODY
Little princess here didn't seem to think so before. When she needed me But now, I ain't what's hip no more. She's too good for the 'normal people' now Hollywood loves her. Everything's going her way. She's got her title belt, her famous Mom, famous boyfriend, famous friends...

JADE
That's not true. You've just got a problem because after months of palling around with you, my life's better than yours and you're not centre of attention anymore.

LEON
(confused)
Hang on, famous boyfriend?

MELODY
Yeah, cause now Mommy's girl wants to be centre of attention all the time. And what Mommy's girl wants...

JADE
Leave my Mom out of this!

MELODY
You mean like how she left you?

JADE
OH THAT IS IT!!

Dumping her title belt Jade gets up from her stool and the girls are going at it again, to... an unsympathetic huge cheer from the crowd!! Jade and Melody only manage to get a few tugs at each others hair before Leon prises them apart and seperates the fight just as it's getting going though.

LEON
Enough, alright! You [i]both[/i] sound like spoilt children. Sheesh!

Jade looks a little ashamed about her uncharacteristic outburst and sits back down, sorting her hair. Melody sits down as well folding her arms. Leon looks at the two, before turning to Jade disapprovingly.

LEON
If I had a dollar for every time I've had to break up one of your fights then... well... I'd have one dollar. What happened to the girl too nice for her own good?

Leon turns to Melody, noticing her smirking.

LEON
And you're hardly Miss Innocent now, are you?

Sighing, Leon taps the microphone against his forehead trying to think.

LEON
You know what, I don't know what's going on here. Maybe you are a little bit jealous Melody, maybe Jade is being a bit of a show-off now that she's not an outcast anymore. No offence. Again. Honestly, I think you're both blowing this all way out of proportion. Hang on... Jade, did you delete Melody from your friends list?

JADE
Uhm... yeah.

MELODY
:O

JADE
Well, Maya did it for me.

LEON
Okay, you're [i]definately[/i] blowing this all way out of proportion. Seriously, that's harsh.

Melody nods in agreement. Jade looks ashamed. Rightly so, Facebook friendship isn't to be fucked with.

LEON
You know, I could try and convince you two not to wrestle on Sunday like I'd planned. But it's clear you're not going to listen to reason. So you'll probably just go ahead and fight each other anyway. Besides, now I know you deleted her on Facebook, even I want to see you get hurt. Not badly or anything, just a hard slap or something. But, I think deep down you two know this is all really silly. You're both in the wrong. The sooner you two realise that and bury the hatchet, become the great friends that you were again, the better. Because one day, Melody, your computer's going to crash while you're in the middle of a marathon game of Simpsons Hit And Run and you're going to need a shoulder to cry on. And one day Jade, Krista's going to be so drunk that she accidently calls you Jason and believe me you're going to need a shoulder to cry on and someone to call you a therapist. And you both know who's shoulder that should be. And that's my Final Thought.

Both girls look a little solemn after that speech.

LEON
By the way, Jason's what you'd have been called if you were a boy.

JADE
I figured, yeah.

LEON
Hopefully that's given you both something to think about.

MELODY
Yeah, it has.

Already halfway out of the ring, Melody turns back and smiles.

MELODY
Almost makes me regret posting your cellphone number up on OAOAST.com so everybody could contact you.

JADE
Wha...

Like a flash Melody is out of there, leaving Jade stunned. She turns to her uncle as if he's going to do something about it, then checks her cellphone, before leaving in just as much of a hurry to try and sort the mess out.

LEON
Boy oh boy. Coach! (leans over ropes) Hey buddy, what's happening. Now, tell me, would you say after seeing that that "bitches be trippin'"?

COACH
Absolutely.

LEON
...dude, that's my niece you're talking about. Uncalled for. Watch your mouth pal, I don't care who the President is.

Wondering what just happened, Coach looks a little stunned as Michael Cole laughs it up next to him.

LEON
Alright, that all wrapped itself up nice and quickly. In which case, I'm just going to stand out here until Mister Dick decides to make a run-in on me. Or maybe he wants to come out face to face and talk about our match, then try to sneak attack me. Actually, come to think of it, I'd better shift that desk out of the ring. Because you know somebody's going through it if he...

Leon trails off at the sight of Mister Dick... not coming to the ring as planned, but standing by backstage and being seen on the arena's AngleTron!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

LEON
Well well, there's a surprise.

MR. DICK
Shut your damn mouth boy! First off, I ain't wastin' my time walkin' out there to be on your crappy little talkshow. You ain't worth a moment of my damn time until you're putting that belt of yours up on the line. So I'm gonna wait until AnglePalooza to kick your ass. Congratulations. Fact is, Mister Dick, he doesn't waste his time with foreplay. None of that Dick teasing. I like to get right in there where it counts. That's all that matters to me. Getting down to the serious business, fast and furious.

LEON
Yeah, I heard that about you.

COACH
What does he mean by that!?

COLE
I think you know.

Mister Dick looks a little confused until he realises that was probably a shot at him.

MR. DICK
You've got a smart mouth Leon. That smart mouth ain't gonna get you nowhere on Sunday though. 2009 is the Year of the Dick. I've been building up to this moment for months and not a man's gonna stop me. Not even you. The great hope of the OAOAST. The young, charismatic, hope-filled, new vision. Sounds familiar, huh? The only difference is, you ain't messin' with no shrivelled up old woman who's husband couldn't be paid all the money in the world to enter her oval office. You're messing with something Hilary hasn't got and that's MANHOOD! So your dream, Leon? It's coming to an end. And when AnglePalooza's in the books, the one lastin' memory of your reign as the OAOAST Champion is gonna be the sight of you being emasculated by The Real American Dick. And they're gonna be able to print your ass up a new t-shirt and it's gonna read YES WE CAN get Dick-slapped!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

MR. DICK
See, you ain't nothin' special. Not to me. You're gonna end up just like all the rest. Like Shayne Brave. Like Tyler Bryant. Like Krista. Like Baron Windels last week. Like PRL. Mr. Dick has left his mark on all of those pathetic bitches and you're next. I'm gonna plough through you. And then, next week, right here on this here show, I'm gonna plough through Krista harder than your long-lost brother did. Nah, nah. Not good enough. I'm gonna plough through Krista harder than your long-lost brother's bike ploughed into that tree eighteen years ago, how 'bout that!

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Wow.

COLE
Come ON!

Keeping his composure, it's clear that cheapest of cheapshot registered and Mister Dick grins to himself.

MR. DICK
And once I've beaten Krista into submission and made her dyke ass tap out in front of the world on the biggest HeldDOWN~! of all time, there ain't gonna be a bigger star in this business than Mister Dick! The Heavyweight Dick!

"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"

LEON
Heh. First off, loved the presidential bit. Good to have a theme to run with. But I have to ask... are you really that stupid?

Mr. Dick gives a WTF look.

LEON
Are you really saying that you're looking past me to Krista? On national TV. On camera. Last time I checked, I was the OAOAST World Champion. Which, last time I checked, meant that you have to beat me at AnglePalooza, not the other way around. I'll give you something, you're a confident soul. But I suggest right now you get your priorities straight and forget about this obsession you've got going on with Krista. You'd better be worried about me and me alone. As big of a roll as you've been on recently, the fact remains you've got to go through me first. Leave Krista to Malaysia, they're much more compatible anyway, what with her being the butch one of the relationship.

MR. DICK
What the hell's that supposed to mean!?

LEON
Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against Malaysia. She is a Nerdly after all. But, come on man, you wear speedo shorts and chaps to the ring.

Not seeing the points exactly, Mr. Dick shrugs, seeing no reason why that should be unacceptable.

LEON
Look, let me just wrap this up by saying one thing. You've proven yourself. You proved yourself against Krista, you proved yourself as a worthy number one contender, you've proven yourself as a part of The Deadly Alliance. I'm not about to take any of that away from you. But you've still got a-ways to go. You haven't proven that you can beat me yet. And you haven't proven that you can win the World Heavyweight Championship yet. Until you do that, it's all hot-air. If you can beat me at AnglePalooza, Krista's all yours. All you've got to do now is actually do it. Good luck.

"Rock The Casbah" hits before Mr. Dick has a chance to rebut and he storms off, as Leon waves fond farewells to the crowd.

COLE
Leon Rodez and Mister Dick, the two studs, collide at AnglePalooza for the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday night. Can Mister Dick prove himself? Or will Leon's reign go on? Krista Isadora Duncan will be waiting in the wings next week in LA, but neither man can afford to look that far ahead.