King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted January 26, 2009 COLE It's now time for one of our feature match-ups here at AnglePalooza 2009, the battle for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Champion Leon Rodez defends against the red-hot number one contender, Mister Dick, a match intensified by a war of words in the past couple of weeks. As you'd expect, both of these outspoken superstars have had plenty to say in the run-up. But whatever you think of what's been said, one thing that can't be denied is the impressive run Mister Dick has been on in the past few months. A run which could be topped off with not just the biggest win of his career tonight, but he hopes the two biggest wins of his career in the space of a week. First though, he's going to have to get through the World Champion, who hasn't shirked a challenge and has no problems getting in the ring with the OAOAST's hot streak player. Leon is looking for the same as his challenger, to pick up these victories and prove himself as a World Champion. Coach, your thoughts on this one and let's keep the innuendo to a minimum, okay? COACH Fine. There'll be plenty of time for dick jokes during the match. COLE I was afraid you'd say that. COACH What isn't a joke though is Mister Dick's checklist. You call it a hot streak, I call it a dominant streak. First off, he joined The Deadly Alliance and you don't do that without something special. Then, he took out the former World Champ, Tha Puerto Rican. Put him on the shlef. He put Shayne Brave out of action. He's tormented Krista for months, not like the rest of the OAOAST who are left quivering wrecks within a few weeks, he's took it right to her, no fear. Couple of weeks ago, he pinned Baron Windels 1, 2, 3. Then Thursday night, how else can you describe the performance against Los Diablos but dominant? Face it, Leon's in trouble. COLE If Leon's got anything to worry about, he's not letting it so far. Let's not forget the run of BAD luck Leon had to overcome in order to fulfill his dream of becoming the World Champion. He's fought so hard to turn things around, you can bet he won't be giving it up without a fight. The cameras pan across the sold-out Seattle crowd in this time, bringing each section to their feet at the chance of getting their faces on TV and DVD. Yeah, we see ya, sit down already. COLE World Title at stake, part of our triple main-event. Let's go up to Michael Buffer for the introductions. *DINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! [IMG][/IMG] [COLOR=red]I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls![/COLOR] Mister Dick's loving ode to himself fades into "Womanizer" by Britney Spears, her loving ode to the I'm sure many men who've hurt her in her life. Not appreciating the irony of coming out to a song expressing disgust for men like him, Mr. Dick stands beneath a golden shower of pyro. Mr. Dick rubs his well-toned upper body amongst the sparks before emerging into a shower of boos. Now that the sparks are behind him, Mr. Dick is no longer a fire hazard and douses himself in baby oil. Far too much baby oil! BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger! He hails from San Antonio, Texas and weighs in tonight at two hundred, thirty eight ROCK HARD pounds! Representing The Deadly Alliance. One of the most controversial superstars that the OAOAST has ever seen, tonight he looks to establish himself a an entity unto himself by winning his first singles championship. Ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE HUMAN HARD ON"... MMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSTTEEEEERRRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Wearing a special pair of metallic gold short shorts for the special occasion Mr. Dick slithers into the ring. Smirking to himself, he breaks the new shorts in, rubbing himself against the ring canvas before humping into life. COLE Not neccessarily a popular choice for number one contender, but a choice made on merit by OAOAST President Josie Baker. COACH Mister Dick deserves every bit of this number one contendership and if you ask me, the World Title's just the natural progression. Tonight the belt, then Krista, after that immortality. From The Real American Dick to the Immortal Dick. Mr. Dick climbs the turnbuckles and 'treats' the crowd to a better look. As he hops down, referee Mike Chioda attempts to check him over for weapons. Mr. Dick proves why he's called Mr. Dick by making life unneccessarily difficuly for him, rubbing some baby oil off his chest and into Chioda's face, then making some rather unsavoury pelvic movements when he goes to check the boots. Chioda tells Mr. Dick in no uncertain terms to 'cut it out'. COLE Referee Mike Chioda well aware of Mister Dick's track record. He was the official in charge of the match with Baron Windels two weeks ago who missed Mister Dick's match turning lowblow. I spoke to Mike earlier and he's watched that match back and tonight, he's vowing to be EXTRA vigilant where Mister Dick is concerned. COACH That sounds like bias to me. COLE If Mister Dick plays by the rules like he should, there'll be no problem, will there? Watching the entrance way, Mr. Dick continues to 'lather up' with the baby oil. COLE Wait until you hear this ovation. .:CUE: "Rock The Casbah", Trust Company:. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" A predictably loud reaction greets the arrival of the World Champion, Leon Rodez sweeping out through the entrance way. Leon pops open the lavish robe to reveal the World Title around his waist and points a finger to the skies. BUFFER And introducing his opponent! Coming to the ring, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan! Weighing in tonight at two hundred, eighteen and three quarter pounds. He represents The In Crowd! Since winning the belt in late November, this superstar has vowed to be a fighting champion and take on all comers, in a bid to solidify himself as not only one of the most charismatic and entertaining, but also one of the very best wrestlers in the OAOAST... he is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRLLLLDD... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The smiling Rodez glides his way down the aisle, tagging hands with the Seattle crowd. He stops at the end of the aisleway for a second, staring up at Mr. Dick who leans over the ropes mouthing off at him. Leon brushes it all around, surrounding himself instead with the cheers of the crowd as he goes to the corner of the barricade and kneels on it to get a better view. COLE Leon Rodez is rapidly beginning to find out what it's like to be a wanted man. And not by female admirers. All eyes are on the World Champion, all focus on that belt with AngleMania VIII fast approaching. Leon disrobes before entering the ring, well aware of the chances of being jumped by his opponent. He jumps up onto the ring apron and blows a kiss to the crowd. Coiled and ready, Mr. Dick watches as Leon enters the ring, but doesn't make a move with the World Champion watching him closely. Giving Mr. Dick something to watch closely Leon removes the title belt and raises it over his head. COLE The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH Yeah. Make the most of it. Handing over the World Title, Leon pats the centre plate for good luck. Chioda shows the belt to the challenger, who tries to get good luck by rubbing it against his more intimate areas, but Chioda manages to avoid that happening and holds the belt up for the crowd. COLE And now, all the side issues must become non issues. Krista's LA title shot, the Lethal Rumble outcome, all must be forgotten and all focus must be on the here and now and the number one contender Mister Dick. *DINGDINGDING!* Both men are ready and with the belt out, the match is underway. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Coming out of their corners Leon and Mr. Dick square up, with Mr. Dick's mouth running a mile a minute as usual. What he's saying we can't hear, but the grabbing of his crotch is a pretty self explanatory threat before he lands with a right hand. And Leon quickly retaliates as the two men get into an exchange of punches! COLE We're not wasting any time here! Back and forth, champion and challenger go, before Leon tries to gain some control with a side headlock. Mr. Dick quickly throws him off into the ropes and sets himself to knock Leon down on the rebound with a firm shoulder tackle. Quickly getting back up Leon is undaunted and comes off the ropes again, but hits the mat again from another shoulder tackle. Mr. Dick dares Leon to try again and the World Champ does. As Mr. Dick tenses up Leon pulls out of the contact this time and instead goes behind with a surprise waistlock. An attempted takedown fails though and Mr. Dick turns in, backdropping Rodez. COLE Mister Dick using his power and using it to good effect. Leon backs into a corner and with a look of digust, he wipes his arms and hands against the turnbuckle pads. COLE Of course, it helps if your opponent can't get a grip on you to lift you because you're covered in baby oil. COACH You've gotta be strong and brave to get a good grip on Dickzilla. Go with both hands. COLE And we are back. Tentatively sizing his opponent up, Leon's thoughts of a lock-up are put aside with Mr. Dick rubbing his oily torso with a perverse smile. COLE This man could be our World Champion you know. Think about that for a second. Forced to take an alternative attack, Leon sneaks behind Mr. Dick and dropkicks him in the back. Falling into the ropes, Mr. Dick stumbles back into a second dropkick and winds up hung across the middle rope! Leon does the jig, but as soon as he comes off the ropes, Mister Dick is out of the ring calling for a timeout. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The anti-social number one contender gets into it with the crowd. Which distracts him as Leon comes off the apron with an axehandle to the back of the neck, sending Dickzilla spilling forward into the barricade. Leon stays on MD with a couple of right hands, before suddenly getting an idea. He drags Mr. Dick by the head (on his shoulders) around ringside, putting his face into the announce table. COACH Hey... hey, get out of here! Despite Coach's protests, Leon uses Coach for assistance, grabbing hold of him by the shirt... and with Mr. Dick in a headlock, uses the hapless announcer's top to rub the baby oil off of Mr. Dick's torso! COACH (off mic) GET HIM OFF OF ME! COLE I'll be right over partner! Once Mr. Dick has been de-oiled, Leon drags him back to the ring and sends him into the ring apron. Back inside, Mr. Dick without proper lubrication is like Samson without hair and is forced to BEG OFF from the World Champion! Nothing doing, as Leon delivers a dropkick with MD on his knees and makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Rodez follows Mr. Dick into a corner, delivering a right hand... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop connects. Not liking this, Mr. Dick shoves Leon away and loads up a Texas sized right hand. Ducking underneath Leon catches Mr. Dick in another waistlock and this time EXECUTES the takedown, to a completely unwarranted pop. Mr. Dick squirms around on the mat trying to escape Leon's clutches but with his lack of oil he's unable to get free and can only drag his way to the ropes with Rodez still riding him. COACH Dude, Leon just wiped Mr. Dick off on my shirt. COLE Don't know why you're complaining. You could probably get a bundle for it on eBay after the show. COACH Hey, homo, I know what name you use on eBay, don't even try it with me. COLE We'll talk in private. Mister Dick rants at the referee about his lack of slipperyness and Leon capitalises with a boot... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another knifedge chop. Irish whip sends Mr. Dick to the ropes and Leon goes for a hiptoss, but can't get MD over. Blocking a second time, The Human Hard On swings and misses with a clothesline, getting caught in a backslide... 1... 2... No! Mr. Dick is up quickly, only to get caught in another waistlock. Again unable to slide out Mister Dick is beside himself and calls the referee over to complain some more. It's just coincidence surely that this pulls the referee out of position. With Chioda in front of him Mister Dick gripes, but is clearly thinking. And when the time is right, he throws his leg back... ...and it gets caught. MR. DICK :O "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh, Leon had that idea well scouted and Mr. Dick just got caught red handed! With Mr. Dick's foot in his hands Leon looks to the referee with a shrug. Chioda chastises Mr. Dick for the attempted lowblow and threatens to throw the match out, which causes Dickzilla to apologise profusely, near begging. This allows Rodez to let Mr. Dick go and connect with another dropkick to the back, sending him sprawling forward. With Mr. Dick on the middle rope, Leon does THE JIG~! again, to a roar of approval from the Seattle crowd. And so, they get an EXTENDED jig! Leon then hits the ropes, shooting back... ...into a STIFF KI... ...NO! Leon ducks underneath and rolls Mr. Dick up... 1... 2... No! COLE Mister Dick is struggling to get anything going so far. Could Mister Dick be having trouble rising to the occasion? COACH Yeah, leave the puns to me. With Leon hounding him locking to apply a hold, Mister Dick again leaves the ring and throws his arms up in disgust. Leon is told not to follow by the referee and he's happy to play to the crowd instead. COLE This is what Leon is capable of doing, taking opponents off their game. Something which Mr. Dick usually does with his antics, but not tonight. "JOCK ITCH!" "JOCK ITCH!" "JOCK ITCH!" "JOCK ITCH!" Hearing the chants, Leon smirks and makes the money sign with his fingers as he smells potential royalties from his coined phrase. COLE And this crowd is, dare I say it, riding Mister Dick right now. COACH Well, I thi... MR. DICK (slamming his hands into the table) HEY! YOU MAKE THESE DICKLESS WONDERS QUIT WITH THAT CRAP NOW, YA HEAR ME!? COLE What do you expect us to do about it!? We'll never know, as before Mister Dick can respond Leon leaves the ring and spins him around into a right hand! Thrown back inside, Mr. Dick is finally able to work an opening though, catching Leon on the way in with a boot! Mr. Dick stomps away on the World Champion before turning his frustrations to the crowd and invites them all to kiss his ass, extending the invitation to referee Mike Chioda now he's not on the verge of being disqualified. Mr. Dick then goes back to Leon, hanging him across the middle rope and choking him across it. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Mr. Dick steps off the ropes and gives Leon an insulting pieface. That sparks Leon into firing out with his boot, but Mr. Dick is able to avoid it and places the flat of his boot on the throat to choke him again. COACH As I was saying earlier, I think if Leon plays with fire, he's going to get burned. And if he plays with Mister Dick, he might just ge... COLE Make your point! [i]Without[/i] the innuendo please! COACH If he makes Mister Dick mad, he might just pay for it. COLE Thank you! Pulling Leon off the ropes Mister Dick drags him into the centre of the ring, scoop and a slam. Off the ropes a kneedrop follows... 1... 2... No! Mr. Dick mounts Leon and after a tense, awkward and scary moment, he thankfully opts for the mount punches. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the crowd getting behind their Champion, Mister Dick takes another moment to insult them all before whipping Leon to the ropes. Another slam attempt is countered as Leon floats over the back, running Mr. Dick into the ropes with a roll-up... 1... 2... Mr. Dick kicks out. Sent towards the ropes by the momentum, Leon shows great agility to hurdle himself over the top and land safely on the apron with time to recover and pop Mr. Dick in the face with a forearm. Rodez runs down the apron and up to the top turnbuckle, looking to come off the third floor. Mister Dick runs to try and cut him off at the knees but Leon leaps off the top and over him just in time! The relief is short-lived though, as when Leon turns around Mr. Dick runs out of the corner with a STIFF KICK to the face!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Nothing hits harder than a Stiff Mister Dick! Cover by the challenger... 1... 2... NO! Sitting up trying to shake off the effects, Leon is rammed with a knee in the back and pulled right back up. Mister Dick senses a momentum change and after short clothesline tries another pin... 1... 2... No! Unhappy, Mr. Dick gets on the ref's case. COLE More intimidation by this overbearing individual. But Mister Dick should be worrying about staying on the World Champion, not making himself feel big by scaring a referee. COACH For once you're right. Gotta stay focused Dickie! Mister Dick's lack of focus is punished, Rodez punching him in the midsection as he goes back on the offence. Fortunately for Mr. Dick, his midsection is firm and his boot is firmer, slamming it into Leon's face. With the Champion down, MD prepares to just be a dick, spreading Leon's legs and preparing to lower the boom. But Chioda is right on him and threatens a DQ if he does so. COLE There we go, show him who's boss Mike! COACH What right does a referee have to stand up to a competitor in the middle of a match like this!? COLE Uhm... the fact that he's the referee? Not wanting to risk that Mister Dick backs off and instead pulls Leon to his feet, "nice and friendly like". Not so friendly, the right hand that follows. Leon staggers back into a corner and Mr. Dick stomps a mudhole and starts walking it dry. Referee Chioda interjects himself again and Mr. Dick breaks on four. Once that warning's over, Mr. Dick places his foot on Leon's throat again. "ONE!" "TWO!" While Chioda is counting, MD takes the opportunity to start untying the top turnbuckle pad! COLE Is there anything Mr. Dick won't stoop to? COACH You? Mr. Dick backs away and ends the choking. As he drags Leon from the corner Chioda starts to re-adjust the turnbuckle pad... ...allowing Mr. Dick to drop the headbutt into the Silky Smooth nether regions of the World Champion!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Ugh, Mr. Dick, Just Being A Dick and manipulating the referee expertly. Concealing the pain his opponent is in with a tight pin cover Mister Dick yells at Chioda to turn around and count... 1... 2... NO! Mr. Dick applies a rear chinlock, muffling Leon's attempts to explain what happened to the ref. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Drawing on the support of the crowd, Leon starts to fight back to his feet. And after working out some of the discomfort lower down his body, he delivers an elbow to the ribs on the challenger. A second elbow catches Mr. Dick hard enough to loosen his grip. And a third breaks him free. Quickly off the ropes, Leon then knocks him down with a clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Back comes the World Champion! Off the ropes again Leon connects with a second clothesline, bouncing Mr. Dick off the mat again. COACH He must have been wearing a cup. Come on, check him referee! Leon delivers a third straight clothesline and is ALL FIRED UP, doing the same for the Seattle crowd. Getting back to his feet Mr. Dick throws a right hand. A timely weave by Leon pulls him out of the way, connecting with the Rolling Sole BUTT to knock the wind out of Mr. Dick's sails. Rodez grabs a 3/4 headlock and points to a corner. As he runs The Human Hard On in though, a shove in the back blocks the shiranui. Leon just about gets his foot up to block himself in the turnbuckles. Mr. Dick sees a chance and charges, right into a drop toehold, putting him face-first into the middle turnbuckle! COACH Ooh! COLE Great counter move! With Mr. Dick stunned momentarily, Leon is able to hook him up and slice the bread this time! COLE Feedback THIS! 1... 2... NO! Using the ropes to pull himself back up Mr. Dick is reeling and falls into the corner in a daze. From across the ring Leon lines him up and charges in, going high with the double knees... ...but Mr. Dick steps out, catching Leon and dropping him face-first into the top turnbuckle!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE OH, Leon got caught and DUMPED, face first! He could be out! COACH Cover, cover! Mister Dick drags Rodez away from the ropes and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! This time Mister Dick is incensed and risks DQ once again as he gets in Chioda's face. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE A kickout, but the World Champion looks groggy and that could have been the turning point in this Championship match. COACH I believe it is. Mister Dick's just got to finish up... I mean finish off... COLE We know what you meant. After realising he's wasting his time with the referee Mr. Dick goes back over, stomping on Leon. He picks the World Champion up before he can climb up, delivering a hard right hand against the ropes. And gets another warning. Not listening, Mr. Dick shoos the ref out of the way and whips Leon to the ropes. A clothesline is ducked, but as Leon comes back he gets caught with a big boot to the face. Rodez hits the mat and with a grin on his face, Mr. Dick DICK-CUPS to one side of the crowd! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COACH Oh yeah! What better was to finish him off than this!? Mr. Dick cups his pride and joy to all four sides of the crowd trying to figure out who wants it most. The answer would be nobody. But Mr. Dick ends up picking a side eventually and very slowly hits the ropes, BEFORE DROPPING THE BIG LEG!!! COACH THAT'S IT! COLE The Legdrop from The Real American Dick, don't tell me this is it! COACH I JUST DID! 1... 2... KICKOUTOMGWTF!?!?! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Mr. Dick can't believe it... and CERTAINLY can't believe it when Leon starts to shake back to life. MR. DICK You gotta be shittin' me! With Leon on one knee Mr. Dick clubs him in the back... NO EFFECT!! COLE Oh my god... the World Champion is... he's... uhm, Rodezing Up? Does that work? I dunno, who cares!? Mr. Dick clubs Leon in the back again... NO EFFECT! Actually, tell a lie, it does has some effect as Leon stops in his tracks for a second and cringes in pain, but very quickly shakes it off and points the finger at the shocked Cocky Prick! [b]YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~![/b] COACH Don't punch him! Whatever you do, don't try and punch him! Either stubborn or stupid, Mr. Dick goes for a punch and it gets blocked. COACH Ah damnit! Having blocked the punch, Leon fires back with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Mister Dick in the back of the head with the enziguri! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Not quite a legdrop, but maybe good enough as Leon makes the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Not letting disappointment get the better of him, Leon encourages Mister Dick to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Mr. Dick is hurting, but still manages to reverse an irish whip and send Leon into the turnbuckles instead of him. He then follows up and dives in, connecting with BITE MY GIANT DICK!! COACH Yeah, how does that taste!? Hitting the crossbody clearly relaxes Mr. Dick and he happily slaps Leon around a bit, before jogging towards the opposite corner signalling for a second one. Little does he realise that Leon is jogging a couple of steps behind him. And as he backs up in the corner, Mr. Dick is shocked to get sandwiched against the turnbuckles with a DOUBLE KNEE attack!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Where the hell did that come from!? COLE I think Mister Dick is wondering the same thing! Leon pulls Mr. Dick into a front facelock and hits a vertical suplex, setting him in perfect position to head up top! The Seattle crowd rise to their feet as Leon leaves the ring, giving the universal twirling fingers sign for the 450! COLE The World Heavyweight Champion is heading to the top, maybe seconds away from staying at the very top of the OAOAST ladder! Getting his footing up top Rodez draws the crowd behind him, before tumbling... ...and bailing out as Mr. Dick rolls out of the way!! Leon is BARELY able to land on his feet after just 360 degrees and while he's still unsteady, Mr. Dick reaches out and shoves him forwards into the path of referee Mike Chioda... ...and a NEAR collision, Leon able to stop himself just in time... ...BUT CHIODA ISN'T SO LUCKY TONIGHT, AS MISTER DICK TAKES HIS HEAD OFF WITH A STRAY STIFF KICK!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH! Referee Mike Chioda goes down and I think that was unintentional... but then again, who knows!? COACH What do you mean 'think', why would Mister Dick kick the referee in the face? After a moment of shock Mr. Dick is spun around by Leon and given a boot to the stomach. The World Champion begins to set him up for a Tiger Driver. But Mr. Dick drops to his knees AND DELIVERS A LOWBLOW!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE THAT'S why, right there! Just like with Baron, no referee in sight! As Leon crumples in a heap, Mister Dick makes the cover, forgetting for a second with the title within his graps that there's no-one to count. COLE Only difference this time is Chioda isn't just unsighted, he's unconscious! And thank goodness, it doesn't look like Mister Dick is going to get away with it this time after all! Still covering the Champ Mr. Dick reaches over and grabs Chioda's hand, dropping it and realising he's out. A couple of slaps to the back of the head fail to revive him so Mr. Dick crawls over and tries to SHAKE Chioda into waking up. Which unsurprisingly doesn't work, leaving The Human Hard On cursing the referee. Nevermind that he's the one that knocked him out, Mr. Dick is furious with the ref and shows what he thinks by kicking him out of the ring! Mr. Dick then waves to the back for another referee. COLE Hey come on, what the hell was that for!? COACH Well he's no use in the ring if he's knocked out, he's just in the way. COLE Give me a break. Mr. Dick looks around and with no referees in a rush to help out he curses again. By now Leon is beginning to recover and seeing this, The Human Hard On leaves the ring and heads for the timekeeper's table yelling at everyone to get out of the way. He snatches a discarded chair and slides back in, lining Leon up. COLE Oh no... come on, not like this. NOT LIKE THIS~! COACH Yes, LIKE THIS! Pulling himself up by the ropes, Leon nurses his nether regions as the crowd scream warnings of what's waiting behind him. Mr. Dick can barely contain himself, chair shaking in his hands as he prepares to swing. The screams get louder and louder as Leon struggles to recover. Until a thunderous cheer sounds out around the arena. COLE WAIT A MINUTE! Mr. Dick suddenly has the chair ripped from his hands... *CRACK!* "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...AND GETS BLASTED OVER THE HEAD BY [b]THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!![/b] COLE WHAM! MISTER DICK JUST GOT BEHEADED! PRL drops to his knees and cusses a blue streak at Mister Dick before hurling the steel chair out of the ring in a fit of energy. Still nursing his bicep injury a little, Tha Puerto Rican leaves the ring and collects his expensive sunglasses from the arena floor. PRL then makes an effort to revive the referee, before leaving through the crowd where he came from. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" Hundreds of hands pat Tha Puerto Rican on the back as he retreats watching the scene in the ring with a satisfied look on his face. Leon is still winded as he pushes himself off the ropes, seeing Mr. Dick knocked stupid and on wobbly legs. COACH No, this isn't right! THIS ISN'T RIGHT AT ALL! Wha... whe... THA PUERTO RICAN~!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican, the man put on the shelf by Mister Dick's rampage, has extracted his own form of revenge here tonight at AnglePalooza! Staggering around, Mr. Dick walks into a boot, then gets taken up with a BRAINBUSTER, putting him in position. Leon crawls through the ropes, dragging himself up on the apron before heading to the top rope. COACH I can't believe you're going to condone this! COLE Mister Dick had it coming, what can I say? Referee Chioda hauls himself back into the ring, just in time, as Leon reaches the top. He steadies himself, before delivering the 450 SPLASH!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE 450, that's gonna do it! Chioda makes it over to count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The fans erupt, Leon slowly rolling off of Mr. Dick with not quite so much enthusiasm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this contest... and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORRRLLLDD... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leon's hand is raised in victory by the groggy referee, not looking 100% himself as he takes the World Championship belt. Leon raises the belt over his head in victory, but something on his face seems to say he suspects something isn't quite right. COLE Leon Rodez is still the World Champion and moving on, looking ahead and to pull one from your bag of puns, Leon Rodez well and truly beat the Dick! COACH No, PRL did! You know it and I know it, Mr. Dick would be the World Champion right now if Tha Puerto Rican hadn't stuck his nose into this match! COLE And Mr. Dick might not have been on the verge of victory if he hadn't kicked the referee in the face, delivered a lowblow and tried to use a steel chair! Karma is a bitch! Rolling out of the ring Leon hangs the title belt over his shoulder and looks back at his defeated challenger. Unable to shake the feeling that something's up he doesn't make much of his celebration, a simple finger raised in victory before slapping a couple of hands as he backs up the ramp. Mr. Dick begins to stir in the ring holding his head in pain. COACH And to think, all the talk we've had from Leon, all the crap about being an honourable fighting champion. Where's the honour in taking advantage of a man after he's been waffled with a chair? Some World Champion he is! COLE Well the fact is, he IS the World Champion. And he can watch tonight's Lethal Rumble match with greater interest for having gotten this title defence out of the way. Leon continues to leave as Mister Dick drags himself up in the ring. Making himself scarce referee Chioda avoids the full force of Mr. Dick's anger, The Human Hard On kicking the ropes once he fully realises what's happened. Leaving the ring, Mr. Dick picks up the steel chair used on him and points out the indentation his skull made in it, before hurling it at the cameraman who narrowly avoids getting smacked. COLE After all those guarantees of victory, I guess Mister Dick will have to make some alternative plans for the 300th HeldDOWN. COACH Mark my words, you haven't heard the last of Mister Dick! Nobody has! Not Rodez, not Krista and certainly not Tha Puerto Rican! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
