HD: HD Moments

[King Cucaracha 0]

BLONDE
I think it's pretty obvious what my favourite memory of this show is. One of the great moments in the show's history, in the company's history even, the night that changed the world. It was everything great moments are made of. You had drama. You had excitement. You had a story of triumph, a conquering hero, his beautiful assistant. Truly a memorable moment in the OAOAST and on HeldDOWN~!, one that will be spoken of for years in hushed tones of awe.

MADDIX
That's right, it's the night I won the World Heavyweight Title!


[QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, June 28th 2007]
MALIBU
I want to see people earning their keep around here, FIGHTING their way to the top. I want this company to remain the best damn thing going today, and a champion is only as good as his opposition! I...

Zack turns around towards the aisleway and stops for a moment, as Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X from the Lightning Crew have come out to ringside! Malibu doesn't say a word as Boricua climbs up the steps and into the ring, while X circles ringside.

COLE
Two members of Tha Puerto Rican's Lightning Crew are out here now, and I wonder if they're taking what Malibu's been saying to heart.

COACH
He said he'd welcome all challengers.

COLE
I don't think he meant NOW, Coach!

Boricua confronts Zack, mouthing off in his face, which Zack takes in stride...until Boricua SPITS on the World Title belt, then slaps Zack across the face! Infuriated, Malibu drops down and takes Boricua's legs out from under him, then gets atop him and starts wailing away, momentarily forgetting about Vitamin X, who slides into the ring and starts putting the boots to Zack Malibu!

COLE
They're mugging the World Champion!

VX drags Zack to his feet, but neither man allows him the room to get up, instead pounding on him with clubbing blows across the back. Vitamin X then sends Zack into the corner, and has Boricua whip him into him, nailing Zack wtih a corner clothesline before tossing him out of the corner, into the waiting arms of Mr. Boricua, who drills the World Champion with a SPINEBUSTER~!

COLE
It's a 2 on 1! We need some help out he...wait, what's going on in the back? Can we get a camera back there!? What's going on!?

As Malibu is being worked over in the ring, a camera shakes, as the cameraman jogs through the backstage maze of hallways, where Tha Puerto Rican has just been hurled over the catering table, taking both table and food down with him! The camera pans over, and the man responsible is TODD CORTEZ, who moves the table aside and drags PRL up, running him headfirst into a wall!

COLE
What the hell...we've got two members of the crew out here, Tha Puerto Rican has been jumped by Todd Cortez backstage, and...now wait, c'mon now!

The crowd boos loudly as the South Central Millitia, weilding steel pipes, hit the ring! Vincent and Marcellus roll into the ring, and the Crew members welcome them, asking if they want a shot at Malibu as well. Unfortunately for VX and Boricua, the only shot the SCM takes is on them, as Vincent nails VX in the ribs with one pipe, while Marcellus does the same to Boricua, and follows up with a shot across the back!

COACH
What's going on here, Mikey!? Am I seeing this right!?

The crowd, as shocked as everyone else, roars, as the South Central Millitia, just one week seperated from doing battle with Zack Malibu, have saved him from the Lightning Crew! Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua lay on the floor aching and bruised, while Vincent and Marcellus slowly help Zack Malibu to his feet!

COLE
I'll be damned, I never thought I'd see the day that the SCM and Zack Malibu were on the same page!

Malibu is shocked too, but Marcellus helps him up, assuring him he's going to be OK...but that's BEFORE he slams the steel pipe across Malibu's ribs!

COLE
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE TONIGHT!?

IMMEDIATELY, the crowd picks up on the swerve, and start booing loudly, as the SCM beat Zack down, gangland style! Zack tries to fight up, but every time he does he's sent back to the canvas, worked over by hard shots from the gangbangers, and that's when Landon Maddix appears on the scene, jogging down the aisle!

COACH
Maddix!

COLE
C'mon people, get Zack out of there!

Santana and Wallace pull Malibu up, holding him securely with one arm each, as Maddix picks up the mic Zack dropped during the attack.

MADDIX
Hey, Malibu, guess what? You beat me four days ago, and that's all well and good...but you remember one thing, you took that title match Sunday because of your own damn selfish pride. You wanted to prove so badly that you were going to take this World Title belt of yours (Landon picks up the belt and dangles it in front of Zack's face) that you took my challenge on the spot. Let me spell that out to you again Zack... you accepted my challenge. Zack, that was the biggest mistake of your life, because just like you, I know it's always wise to have a backup plan. So Zack, I'm gonna give you a chance to kiss this belt goodbye, because I am cashing in my Money In The Bank win RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW~!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
Oh snap!

COLE
So THAT'S what this is all about! Landon's trying to set up a cakewalk for the belt!

MADDIX
REFEREE! ANY referee, we've got what, like 40 of you on the roster? Get your ass out here, because I'm going to END you, Zack! Leave him to me, boys!

Santana and Wallace drop Zack to the mat, as Maddix looms over him, playfully kicking him while holding the World Title in his hand.

MADDIX
Get up, Malibu! Get up, and say goodbye to your precious championship!

Zack slowly pushes up, rising to his feet, as Landon throws the mix down and folds the belt up. He cocks it in his hands, and Malibu stands tall as Landon rushes forward with a BELTSH...NO~! ZACK DUCKS IT AND ROLLS HIM UP WITH A SCHOOLBOY, JUST AS EARL HEBNER HAS HIT THE RING~!

ONE!




T-NO!

Popping right back to his feet, Landon unloads with stomps. A flurry of them, pinpointed to the ribs of The Franchise!

COLE
Look at Maddix, like a man possessed!

COACH
This is a shocker! I think we all assumed Landon has used his Money In The Bank at The Bash, but it turns out he had it in reserve the whole time. He played Zack like a fiddle!

Finally the stomps end and Landon wipes the hair from his eyes. Eyes that are wide, Landon aware of just how close he is. Dragging Zack off of the canvas, Maddix grabs him by the wrist, dragging him forward into a short knee. The air rushes out of Zack's body with a loud, pained groan, as Maddix connects with a second knee. Releasing the arm, a HARD kick then floors Zack, the World Champion sitting up with blood beginning to dribble down his chin.

COLE
Zack, bleeding from the mouth again! Those internal injuries have had no time to heal what-so-ever and yet again, he's in serious, serious trouble.

COACH
And Zack can't blame anybody but himself.

COLE
How!?

COACH
He wanted to be the 'fighting champion'. He wanted to be the hero. Say what you want about Drek Stone, I don't remember this happening to him.

"LET'S GO ZACK!"
"LET'S GO ZACK!"
"LET'S GO ZACK!"
"LET'S GO ZACK!"

The Indianapolis crowd try to get behind Zack. Even their support doesn't seem to be helping though as Maddix drags him up by the hair, whipping him into the buckles and watching with a satisfied smile as Malibu crumbles out of the corner.

COLE
Zack came in injured tonight, he has been beaten down by four other men and now, now THIS! And look at that grin on Landon's face! This is sickening!

Slowly walking over to Zack, Landon takes his sweet time. Again he drags Zack up by the hair, delivering another hard kick to the ribs. And in a final insult he then slides to Zack's side, struggling as he takes him up with the ANGLE SLAM~! Not the finest execution, but who cares?

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COLE
Damnit!

COACH
I think that's what they call 'poetic'.

Megan raises her arms in the air, counting along in glee with Landon as he covers...



ONE!







TWO!







THRE...


NO, ZACK KICKS OUT! ZACK KICKS OUT~!

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COLE
YES! COME ON ZACK, FIGHT, FIGHT WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT!

"ZACK!"
"ZACK!"
"ZACK!"
"ZACK!"

Utterly shocked, Landon begins to get that sinking feeling. Zack is still in the fight, however barely. But before Zack can get back up, he takes a punch to the ribs. Again. Again. And again and again and again and again, with no end in sight, Maddix trying to turn Zack's internal organs into mincemeat!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Eventually Zack seems to go limp, and Landon is the one keeping him from falling, as he holds him by the collar of his shirt. Leading Zack away from the ropes, Landon hoists Zack up onto his shoulders, looking to deal the death blow. However, before Zack can Go 2 Sleep, he decides he wants to stay up a little while longer, and kicks himself off Landon's shoulders! Thinking quickly, Zack goes for the ANGLE SLAM~!, but can't lift Landon, dropping him to his feet! Favoring the ribs, Malibu keels over and winds up scooped up again, onto Landon's shoulders, before La Cucaracha decides to put him to bed.

GO 2 SLEEP ON ZACK MALIBU~!

COLE
No, COME ON! This is robbery! This was a premeditated assault!

Malibu, with blood dripping down his chin, is lifeless, as Landon Maddix makes a rather arrogant cover.

ONE!

TWO!





THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

COLE
NO! I don't believe it...this can't be happening!

COACH
It is, Mikey Cole, it most certainly is! We have a NEW World Heavyweight Champion, and it happened right here on live television!

As "Personal Jesus" is cued up, Landon Maddix is given the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, and he clutches it to his chest. Megan Skye rolls into the ring and rubs her mans shoulders as he stares into the gold center plate, then rises to his feet and unleashes a primal scream as he raises the belt in the air.

COLE
I...I'm in shock. I don't believe what we've just seen.

The Millitia enter the ring as well, as Landon shakes both their hands and thanks them, before they take Landon and lift him onto their shoulders like a conquering hero!

COLE
This is disgusting!

COACH
This is history, baby! 

The crowd boos loudly, some even risking evicition from the arena by tossing everything from beer cups to nacho dishes into the ring. OAOAST come to ringside and tend to Zack, gently sliding him out of the ring and onto a stretcher so that they can get him backstage and checked out by medical personnel.

COLE
Zack Malibu has been brutalized here tonight, and Landon Maddix swept in like a thief in the night, stealing the item that means most to him. Landon Maddix is the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and I guarantee you one thing folks...things are going to change around here, and not for the better!
[/QUOTE]

[King Cucaracha 0]

MELODY
My favourite HeldDOWN~! Moment... it HAS to be when Leon was the 24/7 Champion and he put out that goofy open challenge. And then a guy dressed up like he'd wandered off and got lost from a Star Trek convention over the road, although I'm pretty sure there wasn't one on that date, anyway he came out and he was called 'The Spock'. And he was doing a Rock impression. Because they rhyme? Isn't that the most ingenius thing you've ever heard of in your life?

[QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, June 29th 2006]
.:CUE: The Theme From Star Trek:.

COLE
...wait, what?

The crowd, understandably, go MILD~! as confusion hovers over the arena. Leon looks around as if to ask 'what the hell is going on?', as a few seconds of out of place musical interlude pass. Eventually, the entrance doors do slide open and all eyes fix on the entrance way...as a skinny looking figure steps through the curtains. A skinny looking figure that's kitted out in full Trekkie gear. The uniform, the badge, even the Spock ears. Oh, and an eyebrow painted over his actual right eyebrow.

-----------------------------

THE SPOCK
FINALLY... THE SPOCK... HAS BEAMED BACK, TO PLANET EARTH!!

*crickets chirping*

Hand on chin, Rodez tries to hide his laughter with a feigned look of interest. Pacing around the ring, The Spock gives the fans time to stop groaning before shooting the Vulcan Eyebrow! Leon can barely keep his laughter in check now, either for the content or the terrible wardrobe job.

THE SPOCK
And tonight, right here in front of the MILLIONS...



...



THE SPOCK
...and MILLIONS of my Trekkie fans, I am going to accept your Open Challenge. And I am going to lay the Spock down on your human ass!

COLE
Somewhere, Hoff is weeping.

COACH
Somewhere, [i]PRL[/i] is weeping!

THE SPOCK
For I am the Klingon beating... 
[i]lllllalalalallllalalllaaaalloooowwwww[/i]
...Comic Book Convention Meet n' Greeting...
...Enterprise flying, more often than not in danger of dying... 

Finally Leon has had enough, chuckling under his breath as he holds up a hand and pleads with The Spock to stop.

RODEZ
Woah woah hold up a second here...are you sure you're in the right place, buddy? Incase you weren't aware, this isn't the Sci-Fi Channel. We're on TSM. And granted, our core audience is made up of dateless nerds as well, but there is a big difference...somewhere.

COACH
Man TSM is so burned.

-----------------------------

THE SPOCK
There is no more to say, except this...

Cue hand signal.

THE SPOCK
Just Kling It!

COACH
Oh, I get it, because of the Klingons right?

COLE
*groan*

-----------------------------

"STAR TREK SUCKS!"
"STAR TREK SUCKS!"
"STAR TREK SUCKS!"
"STAR TREK SUCKS!"

COACH
Wow, a group of wrestling fans who don't like Science Fiction? What the hell universe [i]are[/i] we in?

Pulling Rodez back up, The Spock looks for another irish whip. This time Leon has an answer to the move though and twists underneath the arm, pulling The Spock in, lifting him up and hitting an Inverted Atomic Drop! The Spock hops around holding his little Klingons as Leon now backs off the ropes, building up a head of steam as he charges in...and skids to a halt, as The Spock pulls the old 'hold your hands up and scream stop' trick. Still hurting, The Spock quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a...uhm, I forget what it's called. I don't actually watch Star Trek see and I'm certainly not doing research. I think it's a phaser or something. Anyway, whatever it is, The Spock holds it to his chest and prepares to beam himself up...




...and nothing happens.

COLE
Just when things couldn't get more ridiculous.

For what seems an eternity, Leon and The Spock and even Charles Robinson stand around looking at each other awkwardly, before finally The Spock throws the phaser down and goes back on the attack! More right hands find the mark before Spock lands a boot to the gut, setting up another irish whip. In goes Rodez, rebounding off the ropes and back into The Spock, who laboriously lifts Leon up and plants the spine on the pine!

COLE
Spinebuster!

COACH
And you know what's coming next...

COLE
Oh jeez.

Stepping over Rodez, The Spock stands at the head and does the weird hand motions. PRL prepares to file a lawsuit, rather than receive one for a change (BURN!), as The Spock then hits the ropes. Over top he goes, bouncing back off the ropes and slowing up, before dropping the elbow!

COACH
VULCAN'S ELBOW!



1...







2...






...

Yeah, right

Kickout!

Looking a little shocked, The Spock gets back up and drops into a crouch. Leon drags himself back up, still looking lost, as he lumbers around and gets caught under head and arm...

COACH
SPOCK BOTTOM...


...NO! Rodez elbows his way out of the move, then waits for The Spock to turn back around, popping him with a jab!


A jab!



A jab!



A jab!



A jab!


Rodez turns, blows the kiss, turns back...stops, looking at the Star Trek uniform and suddenly realising that maybe wrestling Crystal wasn't so bad after all...then lands the Enziguri!

COACH
Mama Said Knock You Out!

COLE
A sembleance of some form of normality, finally.

With The Spock down, Rodez calls for the end. A handful of the hair helps Leon to drag The Spock up and keep him controlled as he turns back to back with him. Crouching down, Rodez then sets and hoists The Spock up onto his back, turns and sits out with the Backpack Stunner!

COLE
Banana Hammock! That's what beat Crystal.



1...





2...





3!!

COLE
And it beats...The Spock!?

Rodez pushes to his knees and looks around the crowd, shrugging his shoulder as Charles Robinson raises his arm in victory.[/QUOTE]

MELODY
That was a satire-higher level of wrestling, no doubt about it. I actually checked this morning and there are like 450,000 views of that match on YouTube. When they make the best of Leon Rodez DVD that'd better be a DVD extra, or at least an easter egg. Five stars.


BACK TO THE ARENA.

COACH
(sarcastically)
Why did we ever get rid of the 24/7 Title?