Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2009 THA PUERTO RICAN Tha Puerto Rican and HeldDOWN~! go together like peanut butter and jelly! Tha Puerto Rican debuted on HeldDOWN~! in only its second year of existence, and has proceeded to make it HIS show ever since! Tha Puerto Rican has had many many MANY memorable HeldDOWN~! moments over the past five years, but if he has to choose just one, his absolute favourite, then he has no other choice but to pick the February 14, 2008 edition of HeldDOWN~! The St. Valentine's Day edition! And though Tha Puerto Rican was single, it was the best St. Valentine's Day EVER for Tha Puerto Rican! I put my very career on the line in an Ultimate X Match, a match that Tha Puerto Rican had NEVER competed in! At stake was a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania VII. The odds were against me, as I was competing against Spanish Fly who had the entire Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation watching his back! But still, in front of the millions and the MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican's fans, The Lightning Bolts watched as I laid the smackdown on Spanish Fly's roody poo candy ass and proceeded to take the biggest leap I EVER took, grab that AngleMania VII logo with ONE GOOD ARM, and defeat Spanish Fly, keep my career going, and EARN the #1 Contendership to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship that I so richly deserved! And after that, it was off to AngleMania VII where I defeated Stephen Joseph Popick and won my first ever World Heavyweight Championship! [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, February 14th, 2008]With the crowd behind him, PRL kicks Fly in the head with his left foot! He does it again! He keeps on doing it, until one good kick to the face drops Spanish Fly back-first onto the mat! PRL then scales across the cable a few more inches…before letting go of the cable…twisting his body in mid-air…doing an "Up yours!" hand gesture in mid-air…AND HITTING SPANISH FLY IN THE CHEST WITH HIS LEFT ELBOW~!!! COLE Oh my~! PRL with an Elbow Drop from the cables onto the mat! (CLIP) Spanish Fly tries his hardest to grab the logo, but the fact that his legs are wrapped around the cable hold him back. Still, Fly marches on, stretching his right arm as far as it can go! COACH Oh, curse Fly's little hands! They're not helping him right now! Spanish Fly comes within an inch of the logo... ...when suddenly, he sees Tha Puerto Rican flying towards him with his left fist cocked... ...THA PUERTO RICAN HITS SPANISH FLY WITH A SPRINGBOARD FLYING FOREARM KNOCKING HIM OFF OF THE CABLE~!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE WHAT A MOVE! WHAT A MOVE! COACH DAMNIT! The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican and Spanish Fly both lie on the mat, both men breathing hard, in pain. Lindsay, Stephen, and Wall are all very much concerned for their running mate right now. COLE Tha Puerto Rican risked it all right there! A springboard flying forearm to the face of Spanish Fly! I have never seen Tha Puerto Rican do that in my entire life! (CLIP) PRL comes closer and closer to where Spanish Fly is. Once he's near him, P.R. kicks Spanish Fly in the back! He does it again! And again! And again! Spanish Fly is losing his grip on the cable! COLE Spanish Fly might be in trouble! PRL swings a little closer to Fly, and then hooks him up. LATIN SLAM FROM THE CABLES ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE MAT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COACH YO~! COLE OH MY GOD! JOEY STYLES OH MY GOD~!!!! The crowd roars in approval! Stephen Joseph has his hands on his head and a shocked look on his face! Lindsay puts her hands over her mouth in shock! "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" COLE I have never in my entire life seen a Rock Bottom--a Latin Slam done from a cable to the mat! NEVER! COACH You're seeing it now! And Spanish Fly is the victim of it! PRL lies face down on the mat. Spanish Fly lies on his back, holding it in pain. COLE What an incredible move from Tha Puerto Rican! Can we see that again? The OAOAST Starbucks(TM) Double Shot Instant Replay shows PRL's Latin Slam on Spanish Fly from the cable onto the mat. COLE An incredible move from The People's Champion! The Latin Lion striking big with that Latin Slam! COACH Oh come on Fly! Get up! Get up! Get up now! (CLIP) Suddenly, Spanish Fly is seen on the top rope. Spanish Fly leaps off of the top rope and nails Tha Puerto Rican with a missile dropkick to the chest AND THA PUERTO RICAN DOES A SOMERSAULT ONTO THE MAT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COACH DAYUM~! COLE OH MY GOODNESS~! Popick pumps his fists. Cuban Wall yells out, "YEAH BABY!" Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds Fly. COLE Just when I thought this match couldn't get more innovative, more shocking, *this* happens! COACH THAT WAS GOOD! THAT WAS DA BOMB, YO~! THAT WAS THE BOMB DIGGITY! EXCELLENT MOVE! THAT SHUT HIM DOWN! COLE That was amazing! The impact of that move turned PRL inside out! The OAOAST Starbucks(TM) Double Shot Instant Replay shows Spanish Fly's missile dropkick on Tha Puerto Rican and PRL's somersault onto the mat. The missile dropkick and the somersault are shown from a different angle. COLE This could be Spanish Fly's opening. The tide may be shifting. We could be moments away from the end of PRL's career! COACH It might be over now! He might have broken his back! COLE PRL was 10-15 feet in the air! He fell right on his back! And the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation couldn't be happier! (CLIP ALERT!) Spanish Fly rushes to the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps up, wraps his legs around PRL...Hurricarana!--NO!--PRL holds on! COLE Look at this! But before PRL can hit the Powerbomb, Spanish Fly grabs ahold of PRL's right arm! COACH Look at this! The crowd is antsy as Spanish Fly pulls on PRL's hurt right arm. COLE Fly's got the arm! He's pulling on it! COACH Pull it out of the socket, Fly! COLE Oh will you stop!? Fly grits his teeth as he pulls on the right arm...and yet still, PRL lifts Spanish Fly up...POWERBOMB! COLE Powerbomb! Powerbomb on the smaller member of the Corporation! COACH That makes that Powerbomb worst! But Spanish Fly still has ahold of PRL's right arm. COLE Spanish Fly will not stop holding that right arm! He refuses to let it go! COACH Good! Good! Keep it up, Fly! Keep it up! Fly continues holding on. PRL uses all of the strength that he has left to lift Spanish Fly up off of the mat for a second time, and then sets him up for the STYLES CLASH~!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Lightning Bolt! A one handed Lightning Bolt from Tha Puerto Rican on Spanish Fly! (CLIP ALERT!) Spanish Fly points to a scaffolding, and then walks to it. Spanish Fly climbs the bottom turnbuckle. He then hops onto the second turnbuckle. Fly then hops onto the top turnbuckle. Spanish Fly starts climbing the scaffolding as PRL lies on the mat in pain. *PING!* COLOMBIAN HEAT HITS SPANISH FLY OVER THE HEAD WITH A LEAD PIPE!!!!!! COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? COLE Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat is out here! COACH WHAT IS HE DOING OUT HERE!? COLE Hey, if Cuban Wall can interfere, so can Colombian Heat! (CLIP ALERT!) Spanish Fly falls off of the scaffolding and onto the mat! He is lying spread eagle on the mat, unconscious! Colombian Heat jumps off of the scaffolding and slides into the ring. The crowd has come unglued! Cuban Wall gets onto the ring apron. *PING!* AND IMMEDIATELY GETS HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE LEAD PIPE!!!!!!! COLE Lead pipe to Cuban Wall's head! Payback for last week! COACH POPICK, STOP HIM! Cuban Wall falls off of the ring apron and holds his head in pain, resting on a barricade. Colombian Heat plays to the crowd in the ring, holding the lead pipe in his right hand. The Popicks are stunned! COLE Cuban Wall has been hit in the head with a lead pipe. Spanish Fly is knocked out from the lead pipe! It's even now! Who's going to win!? (CLIP ALERT!) Heat dusts PRL off, and then tells him to go and grab the AngleMania VII logo. Suddenly, Colombian Heat rushes forward. *PING!* LEAD PIPE SHOT TO VITAMIN X'S HEAD!!! *PING!* LEAD PIPE SHOT TO THE BONE THUG'S HEAD!!! Colombian Heat checks on PRL, who is just standing up getting his barings. *PING!* LEAD PIPE SHOT TO ROCK HARD BRICKSTON'S HEAD!!! *PING!* LEAD PIPE SHOT TO MR. BORICUA'S HEAD!!! COLE Colombian Heat has taken out the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation with that lead pipe! They're all down! Wall, Boricua, Rock Hard Brickston, Vitamin X, The Bone Thug AND Spanish Fly! COACH Oh this isn't happening! This is not happening! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! COLE It is, Coach! It is! Colombian Heat fires the crowd up some more. He walks around the ring with the lead pipe in his right hand, making sure that the Corporation members do not make any more attempts to enter the ring. COLE Colombian Heat coming to the aid of his best friend! The Badd Boyz are the only ones left standing in the ring! COACH OH NO! I AM GOING TO BE SICK! UGH! NOT THIS! Stephen Joseph and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick have stopped drinking from their champagne glasses. Instead, they are sitting up and are in shock of what's gone down. Their shock turns to worry as PRL shakes the cobwebs out. He stares directly at a scaffolding. COACH NO! NO! NO! PRL looks at Colombian Heat. Heat gives him the thumbs up. PRL nods his head. Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring. COACH NO! NO! NO! COLE This might be it! PRL grabs the scaffolding and starts climbing it. The crowd gets louder and the higher and higher PRL gets. PRL winces in pain several times. COLE With one arm, PRL is climbing the scaffolding! COACH How is this possible!? COLE What guts! What determination from Tha Puerto Rican! Unbelieveable how he's doing this, all with one arm! PRL gets up and up. Stephen Joseph and Lindsay are shaking their heads no. Thomas Rodriguez tries to enter the ring, but Colombian Heat swings the lead pipe and Thomas immediately backs away. Instead, Thomas goes to check on the other Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members. COLE Heat is helping his buddy, watching his back! COACH Oy! PRL gets near the top of the scaffolding. He then climbs a little bit further so that he is at the top of the scaffolding. COLE Wait, what's he doing? COACH Something stupid I bet! PRL climbs up very slowly onto the very top of the scaffolding. PRL is hunched over on the top of the scaffolding. COLE Oh my God. What's this... COACH What's this? I told you. Something stupid! PRL slowly stands up straight on the scaffolding. COLE Oh boy. High risk move here! PRL is at a vertical base on the very top of the scaffolding. Colombian Heat looks on from the ring. COLE His career is on the line here! I guess it makes sense why he would do this! COACH He's an idiot. That's why he would do this! The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of what PRL is about to do. PRL looks down at the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo and has a serious look on his face. COLE This might be the biggest risk that Tha Puerto Rican has ever taken in his entire life! COACH He's going to regret this! Regret this big time! The crowd is going nuts. Colombian Heat is looking up at PRL with a serious look on his face, the lead pipe still in his right hand. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Rock Hard Brickston are all on the outside holding their heads in pain. Spanish Fly is still lying on the mat unconscious. Thomas Rodriguez is checking on the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members, and is also looking up to see Tha Puerto Rican on the very top of the scaffolding. Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick are both on the edge of their Laz-E-Boy recliner, worried for what might happen next. Tha Puerto Rican takes a deep breath, looks down at the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo that is hanging on the hook on both of the cables, and then takes another deep breath. THA PUERTO RICAN LEAPS OFF OF THE TOP OF THE SCAFFOLDING ONTO THE CABLES~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 COLE OH MY GOD! COACH WHOA! The crowd is shocked at what PRL just did! PRL hangs on desperately to the cables! PRL wraps his legs around the cables, and then scoots forward, only a few inches away from the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo. COLE Is this it? Is this it? COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! PRL is now only an inch away from the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo. Tha Puerto Rican stretches his left arm out... ...The crowd gets louder... PRL grabs a hold of the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo. COLE Could it be... COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! ...PRL slowly pulls the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo off of the hook... COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! THA PUERTO RICAN PULLS THE OAOAST ANGLEMANIA VII LOGO OFF OF THE HOOK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH!" COLE He's got the logo! He wins the match! COACH NO!!! *DING DING DING* (17:59) COLE Tha Puerto Rican has got the Title shot! Tha Puerto Rican is going to AngleMania VII! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! "Know Your Role 2000" plays over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican falls off of the cables and lands back-first onto the mat, the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo in his hands! Colombian Heat jumps up and down in joy, while Stephen Joseph and Lindsay stand up in shock. BUFFER Here is your winner...AND the man who will receive a shot at the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30, 2008...THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican hugs the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo, a huge smile on his face. Colombian Heat is still jumping up and down. Referee Rudy Charles raises PRL's hands in victory. COLE Tha Puerto Rican's career lives on for another day! And he WILL receive another shot at the OAOAST Title at the biggest stage of them all, AngleMania, in just 45 days from now! COACH This sucks! This sucks very, very much! Cuban Wall was robbed! He was ROBBED, I say! COLE It's true. Cuban Wall is no longer the #1 Contender to the OAOAST Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican is now the #1 Contender to the OAOAST Championship! He now has a GUARANTEED, GUARANTEED shot at the Champion, whoever he may be, at AngleMania VII on March 30th! And dare I say, he EARNED his shot tonight! (CLIP ALERT!) Colombian Heat raises PRL's hands in victory. The crowd cheers loudly. Stephen Joseph and Lindsay are standing up, shocked over the result. Heat plays to the crowd. Colombian Heat shakes Tha Puerto Rican’s left hand and then pulls him in for a hug. He then helps Tha Puerto Rican up. COLE Tha Puerto Rican persevered. He went through hell and high water. He dealt with a hurt right arm. He managed to grab the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo and pull it off the hook and now, because of that, he still has a professional wrestling career AND he is DEFINITELY going to AngleMania! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to clips of the match. COACH It was an awesome fought match, I'll give them that. I just REALLY hate the ending! Look at this. The People's Elbow Drop from the cables to the canvas. A Latin Slam from the cables to the canvas. Spanish Fly gives PRL a missile dropkick and PRL turns INSIDE OUT! One armed Lightning Bolt. And then this. Cuban Wall uses his size and strength to hit PRL's right arm. Then, Fly Swatter! Fly had the match won. HE HAD THE MATCH WON! HE DID! But then, Colombian Heat. *PING!* Lead pipe to the skull, probably gave Spanish Fly a CONCUSSION, the bastard! He then uses the lead pipe on everyone in the Corporation like the rotten thug that he is! PRL takes advantage. He does this HYUGGE leap just to show off. And then he scales the cables, and...ugh...grabs the AngleMania VII logo. Your winner, and going on to AngleMania...EUGH...Tha Puerto Rican. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Colombian Heat hugs Tha Puerto Rican as the crowd cheers and "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing. Stephen Joseph has a face that shows RAGE. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick looks like she is seconds away from crying. And then she does. COACH This is the worst St. Valentine's Day EVER! This ain't what Popick had in mind! This ain't what he wanted for Lindsay! This is like the complete opposite! This is like his anti-St. Valentine's Day present! COLE You think Tha Puerto Rican cares about that? You think Tha Puerto Rican cares what Lindsay wants? No sir. He only cares about one thing: he is GOING to AngleMania VII on March 30th! Tha Puerto Rican is going to the biggest event in parody e-fed entertainment and he is going to be in the main event fighting for the richest prize in the industry! This is a GREAT St. Valentine's Day for PRL! And he's single! Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat pose in the center of the ring. COACH UGH! Tha Puerto Rican looks at Stephen Joseph. Lindsay is still sobbing. SJ does the McMahon SNEER~! He points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt that is lying behind him on the Laz-E-Boy recliner. PRL points to the belt and then does the "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture. He taunts Popick, and then laughs. PRL runs his mouth at Stephen Joseph Popick. (CLIP) Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo over his head to cheers. He walks around the ring with the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo over his head while Colombian Heat applauds him. Colombian Heat plays to the crowd. Stephen Joseph Popick tries to calm his wife down, but Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is still crying her eyes out. Stephen Joseph glares angrily at PRL. Spanish Fly slowly rolls out of the ring. (CLIP) COLE Tha Puerto Rican has defeated Spanish Fly! Tha Puerto Rican has won the Ultimate X Match! Tha Puerto Rican keeps his career, and will live to fight another day! Tha Puerto Rican will NOT be retiring here tonight! Tha Puerto Rican is going to AngleMania! Happy Valentine's Day, Lindsay! Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring with Colombian Heat, still carrying the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo with both of his hands. PRL and Heat both have smiles on their faces. Spanish Fly has rolled out of the ring, a cut above his forehead, and blood starts dripping out of it. Fly is dazed and confused following the Ultimate X Match. He has trouble standing up, using the ring apron to maintain his balance. Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Vitamin X, and Rock Hard Brickston all slowly get up from the lead pipe shots to the head that they all took from Colombian Heat. All five men are dazed and in tremendous pain and they will all probably have really bad headaches tomorrow morning. Thomas Rodriguez goes around the ringside area, still checking on the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Stephen Joseph Popick tries to calm his wife down, but Ms. Lindsay Gonzlaez-Popick is still crying her eyes out, messing up her eyeliner really badly, really quickly. Stephen Joseph is holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his right hand and is massaging Lindsay’s back with his left hand. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat walk up the entrance ramp. Both men are talking about the Ultimate X Match, PRL still holding onto the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo with both of his hands.[/QUOTE] THA PUERTO RICAN When you take all of that into consideration, it is no wonder why that is my FAVOURITE HeldDOWN~! Moment! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! Tha Puerto Rican does The People's Eyebrow to the camera. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
