HD: Leon vs. Krista

[King Cucaracha 0]

****ENTRANCES AS PROVIDED BY PATTY****



*DINGDINGDING!*

"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"
"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"
"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"
"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"

COLE
It is DEAFENING in here!

COACH
It is when you're SHOUTING into the MICROPHONE!

Even Krista seems surprised by the volume of noise in her support. Champion and challenger just stand looking around the crowd for a while, the noise getting louder in every section Krista gazes at, boos mixed in towards Leon.

COLE
Well we've said that Leon can't let this hostile atmosphere affect him. But on the same hand, Krista can't let the crowd put extra pressure on her shoulders.

COACH
What!? This is [i]Krista[/i] we're talking about.

COLE
Yeah, I know, I know.

Perhaps in an effort to get the crowd back on his side, the World Champion offers to start the match with a handshake.

KRISTA
Timmy Cash, is that you!?

LEON
Are you going to shake it or what?

KRISTA
Oh dear oh dear, there's been a terrible mix-up. FYI, the name's Duncan, not Nerdly, so that little pick-up line of yours shall not be dignified with trembling of the knees and quivering of the lips, nor with a response. Except that rant. Cause you know, that's kinda what I do. Somebody says something to me and I elongate my reply as far as possible. It's a little game I've come up with in my time in the OAOAST. The first such occassion I implimented this game was in 2003, when duri...

LEON
Fine, forget it.

Retracting the hand, Leon starts to circle the ring. Not used to being ignored in mid-speil Krista looks almost hurt. Almost.

COLE
Thankfully we've got a microphone near the ring to pick up what's being said over this raucous crowd.

COACH
Good cover.

COLE
Thanks.

Finally the two square off and go to lock up. Krista avoids Leon's grasp and breaks into a jumping jacks routine!

KRISTA
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! (sees Leon staring at her) AND SEVEN! AND EI... eh, you get the idea with that.

Not wanting to wear herself out early or alternatively waste all of her humbling abilities early Krista leaves the humbling there. They go to lock-up again and again Krista goes to evade underneath. Leon reads it and catches Krista in a rear waistlock. Leon takes Krista up off her feet, legs kicking as she avoids being taken to the canvas. She remains trapped in the hold though and stuck for an escape. So, back to the jumping jacks she goes! ONE! TWO! THREE! AND CAUGHT IN A FULL NELSON IN THE MIDDLE OF NUMBER FOUR! With her arms out of action, Miss California breaks into a can-can routine until Leon lets her go.

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

KRISTA
No no, really now, that's not neccessary. Yes, the action was there. I... just didn't feel the emotion. I can hardly bare to humiliate the poor guy, he's had to deal with so much humiliation through his own self styled lothario lifestyle it's almost like kicking a dead dog. Satisfying the first couple of times, after that a little excessive and shallow.

CHIODA
Who are you talking to?

KRISTA
Oh it doesn't matter, they can all hear me. It's like a Shakespeare play. Really these should be internal thoughts, but I take a step forward and suddenly everyone can hear what they shouldn't really be able to. I wonder if I left the gas on.

Leon just stands watching. Once Krista's stopped, he curtly asks her if she's done yet.

COLE
Leon's got to try and keep his focus, almost to ignore Krista's antics. Which is easier said than done.

Realising she's not broken through quite yet, Krista tries to annoy Leon a little more by taking a timeout to go to ringside. The challenger forgets all about her title challenge for the moment, going over to pose for a few cellphone pictures from the crowd. Krista meet and greets her way over to the crowd, where we find the not-so-extended Duncan family with front row seats! Calling her timeout again, she steps over the rail to converse with Maya, while Alix produces a SPIT BUCKET and throws a towel around her girlfriend's shoulders to cool her down.

KRISTA
What do you think honey, did the jumping jacks get across my lack of concern properly, or do I need to go up a stage?

MAYA
I thought the jumping jacks were okay. The can-can was a touch am-dram though.

KRISTA
Hmm. Good point. What do you think Alix.

ALIX
AH, YOU'RE A CONTENDER KRISTA! YOU GOTTA BACK IN THERE AND YOU GOTTA KNOCK HIM OUT! YOU CAN'T DO IT ROCKY! YOU AIN'T GOT WHAT IT TAKES NO MORE!

KRISTA
Hmm. Good point. Jade?

Jade hides away at the side in non-commital silence.

KRISTA
Hmm. Good point. What's the count at Maya?

MAYA
Uhm... eight.

KRISTA
And I've been out here, by my count, at least fifteen, so it looks like the referee's on my side. That's good to know. Okay, bye-byes all!

Krista climbs back to ringside and re-enters the ring. Leant back in a corner Leon tries not to get sucked into the challenger's unorthodox gameplan and keeps his head. Clearly he's eager to wrestle though and tries to hurry things up now Krista is back in the ring, marching towards her. Krista stays on her toes, backing away before a sudden change of speed and direction guides her past the World Champion. Rodez turns and drops to the mat, forcing KID up and over. As Krista comes back off the ropes again Leon throws his hands up in front of him, which miraculously causes Krista to put on the brakes.

LEON
Oh my God, look up there!

Disobedient to the end, Krista doesn't look up and just stands with hands on hips disapprovingly.

KRISTA
Oh honey, you're going to have to do better than that. I'm far to nonchalant to look at anything without a valid reason. That's what makes me such an icon of cool.

LEON
Okay then... oh my God, look up there, it's a... uh... a ravenous falcon tearing apart Gary Coleman limb from limb in the rafters having plucked him from the stands?

KRISTA
No sale.

LEON
No, but seriously though, you really should look up there.

KRISTA
Two weeks ago, one of my kitchens caught fire in a meth lab experiment gone wrong. I only know this because when the paramedics rushed in ten minutes later to treat Alix for severe burns, they managed to talk over Kate Winslet's SAG speech and disrupt me. If ferocious explosions and pained screams aren't going to make me turn my head, what makes you think you pointing will? Hmm? Hmm?

LEON
Fine, to prove I'm serious, I'll look.

Leon looks up, making his point. Krista interest isn't peaked at all and instead, she kicks Leon in the gu... NO! Leon catches the boot, tripping Krista up and setting her for the LIONTAMER!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Haha! More than one way to skin a cat!

COLE
Leon playing Krista at her own game and could have her in trouble now!

Able to prevent from being turned Krista crawls her way backwards to find the ropes. Leon quickly lets her go and backs away. Sliding out onto the apron, Krista tries to figure out how she was fooled.

COLE
It's a game of mental chess thus far, a game which neither of these charismatic and creative superstars are winning just yet. Who will get the upperhand and who will leave Los Angeles as the World Champion? We'll find out when we come back!


[b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK*[/b]


And when we come back, it's Leon in control with Krista grounded in a standing leg-lock. Krista attempts to distract the wandering eyes of The New Age Love Machine with a cupping of her breasts, but one twist on the knee causes Krista to clutch her head in pain instead.

COLE
Welcome back to this episodic 300th episode of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Our main-event in progress, Krista Isadora Duncan in her first ever World Championship challenge right here in her hometown of Los Angeles, but struggling to get the edge on Leon Rodez so far.

COACH
It's just a matter of time though. That's Krista's style. She wears your brain down until it's mush, then slaps you 'till that mush starts spilling out through your ear or your nose or something. Then she pins you. It's a pretty good strategy.

As Krista reaches back looking for the ropes, Leon adjusts his position. Placing Krista's right leg between his, he drops to his knees. The contortion leaves Krista in further pain and a few damaged ligaments closer to a big pay-off from Lloyds Of London. Retreating into a corner Krista tries to ward Leon off, who is backed off by the referee as he approaches. Happy to let her up, Leon picks Krista's leg once upright and brings her hopping out of the corner. He drives an elbow into the kneecap. Turning in, Leon then elevates Krista onto his back and attempts the backpack stunner, but the challenger surprises him with a sleeper hold!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Uh-oh! Leon got caught there!

With her million-dollar pins wrapped around Leon's waist, all of Krista's body weight is forced forward with the sleeper and Leon looks to be fading quickly. Retreating, he manages to run Krista back into the turnbuckles and get a quick break. But with Leon still spluttering to get his breath, Krista comes off the middle rope with a victory roll...


1...



2...



No!

Both are quickly back up, with Krista aiming for Leon's head with a spinning kick. Leon goes underneath and with the ropes right in front of him, he's able to catch Krista with a chopblock before she can turn back around!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Momentarily distracted by the crowd, Leon re-applies the leglock, this time falling to the mat with a cross kneebar.

COLE
A shrewd offensive gameplan from the World Champion, attacking those million dollar legs of Krista. And he's been able to defend against Krista's off-putting style so far as well.

COACH
Why attack the legs though? If you hurt Krista's legs, she gets a cool ten million. Smack her in the head real hard, then she won't be able to use her legs properly, but medically they'll be fine so she doesn't cash in. That's doing real damage.

As the Duncan family watch on amongst the rest of Krista's LA fanbase she refuses to quit, wagging a finger. After a few seconds she manages to manoeuver over, grabbing the bottom rope and forcing a break. Leon picks her back up and again takes out a leg from underneath her. Krista counters though, using the strength in those valuable assets to backflip and land on her feet! She then rolls forward underneath a clothesline, popping up and springboarding off the middle rope with a crossbody block!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

1...



2...



No!

Sent rolling towards the ropes Krista lures Rodez into charging and backdrops him over the top, to the apron. Her follow-up slap is ducked though, Leon weaving through the ropes and delivering a shoulder to the midsection. Leon quickly ducks through the middle rope again, before sliding himself back in under the bottom, dropkicking Krista's leg out as he does so, causing Miss California to fall throat-first across the middle rope!

COLE
Look out here.

To derisive boos Leon attempts the jig, before realising which way the winds of popular opinion are blowing. And it's not in his direction. So he hits the ropes without much fuss, charging back...



...and getting caught with a hurricanrana by Krista, sending him spilling out through the ropes and to the floor!

COLE
Krista had the answer for the Bojangles, what's she got in mind now?

COACH
I dunno. Shoes?

Krista pops back to her feet, spotting Leon leant up against the guardrail being cajowled by the Los Angeles natives in the front row. As they slap at his back and yell in his ears the fitness queen performs a few limber stretches to loosen up her knees. It doesn't hurt that those stretches give the other side of the crowd some swank ass shots. Once loosened up, Krista takes off into the ropes. Approaching the ring ropes the GLAADiator takes flight, flinging herself up over the top with a FRONTFLIP PLANCHA, completely bowling over the World's Champion!!

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

Krista calls for, and gets, a cold beverage from a nearby fan. Better judgement forces her to hand it back and call over one of the vendors for a clean one, while Leon lays hurt on the ringside mats.

COLE
For all of Leon's attempts to slow Krista down and maybe imobilise a leg, the hometown heroine is still as nimble and agile as ever!

COACH
And still as alcohol dependant as ever.

COLE
A dangerous combination!

Having supped her precious booze, Krista helps Rodez back to his feet and brushes him across the face with some slaps in an effort to bring him back to his senses. Once Leon's eyes open up fully, she blows him a kiss. A nice gesture, followed by a not so nice roundhouse kick to the head, the kiss perhaps a kiss goodbye! Falling against the apron the World Champion is bundled back inside by Krista, who jumps to the apron herself and shakes her booty to amuse herself while waiting. As Leon gets to his feet, she springboards to the top. And Leon can only look up in horror, watching Krista tumble towards him with another frontflip attack! Krista lands right on top of Rodez's chest, reaching back and hooking a leg...


1...



2...



NO!

Leon staggers back into a corner looking for a breather. A breather not forthcoming, as Krista dropkicks him against the turnbuckles.

KRISTA
DO YOU WANT ME TO STOMP ON HIS TESTICLES!?!

CROWD
YYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!

KRISTA
...wow, you guys are harsh. That's kinda unnerving really, considering I have to live amongst you. Yikes.

Forgoing the ball stomping Krista instead whips Rodez across the ring, from corner to corner. Krista builds herself up, slapping the turnbuckle to get the crowd clapping, stomping her feet to... keep the crowd clapping. She slaps herself in the face, psyching herself up, before realising that kinda hurts and wondering why some people would do that. Seriously, try it. It's not fun. Then she lets out a ROAR, an INTENSE ROAR, before charging...


...slowing down to a stop and slapping Leon across the face in the corner.

COLE
There's that nonchalance again.

COACH
I asked Krista if she was nonchalant the other day and she just shrugged her shoulders. You think she was being ironic?

COLE
For me to believe that annecdote, I'd first have to believe that you'd be able to get within ten feet of Krista to engage in conversation without her slapping or demeaning you in some way. Then I'd have to believe that given the chance to reply to something you said, instead of launching into an eight minute diatribe on your ass she'd just shrug her shoulders. So, yeah, you're just as full of crap as those comedians who start off their annecdotes with 'a funny thing happened to me today'. No it didn't.

COACH
Sometimes you just gotta vent, huh?

Krista contemplates the testicle stomp again, her foot hovering inches over the target. But the referee's protests are enough to convince her not to bother. She picks Leon back up again, looking for another irish whip. This time Leon counters though, pulling Krista in and delivering a sudden Exploder Suplex!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
There's a great counter by Leon!

Cover by Leon...


1...




2...



NO!

Pulling Krista to her feet Leon hooks her up, ready for a regular suplex. As he reaches down to grab the leg Krista's long tested female reactions cause her to instinctively swat the hand away. He tries again, but again is denied access. Leon gives up there, instead twisting Krista around so that she's facing away from him and elveating her for a back suplex instead. But Krista floats over, landing on her feet. Momentum sends her backpedalling into a corner and Leon charges in, but a raised knee blocks him off and allows Krista to run the ropes.

COLE
The pace quickens again.

In an attempt to cut Krista off at the pass Rodez tumbles forward, swinging high with the Shack Attack... but Krista ducks underneath, swinging herself around the back and into a rear waistlock. Leon's attempts to elbow her away are both avoided, before KID drops to a knee and clamps on the BALL CLAW!

"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

LEON
:O

COLE
The Blue Ball Special!

Leon's bulging eyes almost end up popping into the front row once Krista adds a SECOND hand into the mix. Her once proud children cover their eyes shamefully, as the referee begins to lay on a count. Before she can be disqualified, Krista lets go. But she does it in the most gruesome way possible... or, one of them, anyway... by using her tight, uncomfortable grip TO THROW LEON BACKWARDS AND OVERHEAD WITH A SUPLEX!!!

COLE
BALL PLEX! THE BALL PLEX! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY!!

COACH
NOT COOL!

The LA crowd are on their feet expecting that to be all, as Krista slinks herself on top...


1...




2...




NO!! Leon pulls his hands from his private parts in time to force the shoulders off the mat!

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

COLE
It looks like Krista's unique style has finally caught up with the World Heavyweight Champion! We are on the verge of crowning a new Champion, a second female World Champion in OAOAST history, this crowd can sense it and so can we, unless Leon can recover and fast!

Left nursing various body parts Rodez lays hurt on the canvas. Krista is up and calling for the end as she waits for Leon to get back up. With the crowd solidly behind her, Krista measures Leon to his feet and goes for the KIDolo... NO! Leon shoves Krista away as she attempts to go for the kill. Despite the injuries he's able to duck a clothesline, getting Krista up for the back suplex this time and converting into a blue thunder powerbomb!

COLE
IT'S DA BOOM! There's the recovery!


1...




2...




NO!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

As Krista kicks out Leon cringes, but forces himself to his feet.

COLE
Back and forth this match goes, much like their meeting last year, where Krista eventually came up on the winning end on her way to capturing the Money In The Bank prize. And Leon must be wondering now, like so many others have in the past, if he can beat Krista. So far, none of those others [i]have[/i] been able to in one on one competition!

With his earlier gameplan the only one to bring him success so far, he goes back after the leg. As he bends down to pick a leg though, Krista vaults the other leg over and uses the World Champion like a pommel horse, escaping his clutches. Confused, Leon then walks right into a spinning wheel kick!

COACH
How the hell did she do... whatever she just did!?

Jumping over the fallen World Champion, the booty goes back into furious motion, Krista loading up the booty shaking moonsault. The booty shaking part is there, you'd better believe it. But the moonsault is jeopardised by raised knees...



...but Krista lands, blocking herself from landing on those knees! Sweeping them away, she then jumps up again AND DOUBLE STOMPS LEON IN THE FACE!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
More outstanding agility from Krista, she could have it right here!

COACH
Outstanding agility and extreme cruelness, she stomped his [i]face[/i]!

Not finished yet, Krista drags Rodez across the ring towards a corner and scales to the top. After a quick pause for some more ass-shots, she takes off with a picture perfect MOONSAULT from the top rope!


1...




2...




KICKOUT!

COLE
But Leon is hanging on! This match so much about Krista's story, Krista's journey, but Leon Rodez isn't interested in being on the other-side of the fairytale. He wants to stay the World Champion!

"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"
"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"
"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"
"LET'S GO KRIS - TA!"

Krista does go, back to the top. She's forced to pause though as Leon is able to drag himself back up, cutting her off in mid-perch. Climbing to the middle rope he looks to attack, but Krista fights him off with some open handed chops to the chest. She eventually manages to shove Leon back off the ropes, but he lands on his feet and scales right back up, determined not to be denied. Beginning to elevate Krista up onto his shoulders, Rodez is caught with an elbow though. And another. He drops back off the ropes and that allows Krista to get her footing on the top rope.

KRISTA
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKED NERDLYS SO I HOOKED YOUR CAR UP WITH A NERDLY SO WHEN YOU DRIVIN' YOU GOT YOSELF A NERDLY TO LOOK AT DAWG! I ALSO PAINTED IT PURPLE SINCE YOU LIKE PURPLE SO MUCH!

Having PIMPed her insult, Krista looks to come off the top with a double stomp...



...but Leon moves out of the way! Krista lands on her feet, causing her knee to buckle slightly, all the opening Leon needs to trip out the legs and go for the LIONTAMER!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

COLE
Leon going for the submission, this would be TRULY historic on this 300th episodic episode of HeldDOWN~!

COACH
If Krista loses by submission in her hometown, we might never see her face again! She'd become a recluse, too ashamed to face the public ever again! GO LEON!

Fighting the hold, Krista struggles to prevent herself from being turned over. She thankful more than ever for all those stomach crunches and sit-ups she's done, her strong abdominal muscles coming in very useful to fight Leon off.

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

Struggling against both the power of Krista's legs and the groundswell of support from the crowd, Leon can't get the challenger turned over. And eventually she's able to fight her way to the bottom rope, a drained Rodez slumping over the top despairingly.

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
No joy for the World Champion!

COACH
Right now's where you gotta smell the coffee. Wake up to what's around you. Thousands of screaming fans, the TV audience watching on and an unbeatable woman across the ring. Roll on out, take a countout, or grab a chair and waffle her. That's the only way you're leaving as World Champion tonight Leon.

COLE
I'm sure there's many people who are thinking the same thing. But Leon is out to prove them all wrong, to prove himself as a worthy World Champion. And beating Krista is going to do that, in the ring, not via technicality.

Leon wearily picks Krista back up, kicking her in the knee a couple of times. Miss California is backed against the ropes, the rest of her Californian underlings trying to give her some much needed support. They can't prevent her from being irish whipped though, then caught off the ropes with a Powerslam! Following up, Rodez drives his body weight down with a back senton! And then covers...


1...




2...




NO!

Getting desperate, Leon drags Krista up again. Realising he's not going to win while holding anything back he dishes out a forearm smash to the jaw. A second forearm connects. With a quick spin, he then slams a Rolling Sole BUTT into the well-toned abs of The GLAADiator!

COLE
It's one thing asking if Leon has anything to finish Krista off, because we don't know what, if anything, there is that anyone could do to accomplish that! Leon has to find something though.

After a deep breath, Leon loads up and comes off the ropes looking for the Shack Attack. He tucks and rolls, but MISSES the clothesline, getting caught in position for the side effect... but he manages to throw Krista aside before suffering that move. A boot to the gut doubles Krista back up again, this time getting her arms double underhooked. Leon then elevates Krista up looking for the Tiger Driver...



...NO! Krista counters with a hurricanrana, bringing the crowd to their feet!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

Leon rolls back to his feet and walks right into the head hook and the side effect, better known as Blonds Never Pay A Cover!!

COLE
SHE GOT IT!


1...




2...




KICKOUT!!

COLE
Only a two count! Hardly a moment to catch your breath at this point!

COACH
Krista can't even find chance to slow down and do something bizarre, that's how crazy this is!

Grabbing Leon by the arm Krista attempts to fling him into a corner, but the fling is reversed and it's KID sent towards the turnbuckles. However, she avoids contact by stepping up onto the middle rope.

COLE
Look at that!

Once Leon realises what's going on, he charges...




*SMACK!*


"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"


...RIGHT INTO A FLYING SUPERKICK OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, CATCHING HIM CLEAN IN THE JAW!!!!

COLE
LOOK AT [i]THAT![/i]

Krista dives on top, hooking the legs...


1...





2...





3!!


- NO!!!! TWO COUNT ONLY!!!

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COLE
Oh my how close was that!? Some of the fans jumped the gun, people celebrating prematurely, but that right shoulder came up just in time and Krista has not won this match just yet LA!

Deep breaths all around, from the fans and from the participants, all trying to get their breath back. Including the Duncan family in the front row.

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

To her feet, Krista flicks the hair from her face and doubles over trying to catch her breath. Even fitness queens get winded sometimes! Thing is, they recover quickly too. Krista hits the ropes as Leon gets back up, swinging with a clothesline. Leon manages to duck underneath though, then scores with a dropkick to the knee, the same knee he's intermitently focused on during the match! That timely move draws sighs and then boos from the crowd, unhappy to see their queen in trouble. Also winded, Leon is slow to follow up, walking over to Krista who's on one knee. He grabs her by the hair, looking to pull her up. But she grabs him by the BALLS, looking to pull something else!

COLE
Oh, the Blue Ball again!

COACH
This woman is a menace! If I went around doing that to people, I'd be locked up by now! Some hot white lesbian woman does it and suddenly it's a 'signature move'. That's American justice for ya'll.

Having felt the eye-watering effects of this move once before, Leon doesn't hang around waiting for Krista to let go. He reaches down and shoves her away...



...unfortunately, right into a CLUNKing of the head with referee Mike Chioda, who was behind Krista pleading with her to break the hold!!

COLE
Uh-oh!

COACH
Not this shit again!

Thinking the exact same thing, Leon is distracted by the referee going down and goes to check that he's okay. Aside from a sore eye he seems to be and Leon goes back to the match...





...AND WALKS RIGHT INTO KRISTA LEAPING AND HITTING KIDOLOGY...






...NO!!!! LEON BLOCKS AND COUNTERS INTO THE LIONTAMER!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

COLE
UNBELIEVABLE! Leon has turned the tables, Krista is trapped!

COACH
Set the TiVo! History! History!

Finally able to turn Krista over this time Leon places the knee in the back completing the hold. To the complete despair of the crowd, Mike Chioda is able to shake off the effects of the head to head collision, enough to drop beside Krista and check for the submission!

"PLEASE DON'T TAP!"
"PLEASE DON'T TAP!"
"PLEASE DON'T TAP!"
"PLEASE DON'T TAP!"

COLE
This crowd is trying to will Krista to stay in this match, those World Title dreams are slipping away, oh, so agonisingly!

Krista tries with all her might to crawl, face etched in pain. None of the Duncan girls in the crowd can look as the rest try to will their hometown heroine on. Leon is struggling now, trying to force the submission, pulling back on the legs in a last ditch attempt. Locking eyes with her family in the crowd, Krista looks despairingly, realising all of their faith and hope is doing her no good at all...



...her arm hovers in the air, causing screams of 'NOOO' to go up all around the arena! But they're not in the hold and they don't know the pain Krista's feeling, as she makes one last effort, shaking her head...






...before her hands comes down, GRASPING THE BOTTOM ROPE TO THE DESPAIR OF THE WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!!

"YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

COLE
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

The atmosphere erupts to another level as Leon sadly lets go of the hold and falls to a knee. Krista is still in pain but at least free of the hold, giving renewing hope to the crowd.

COLE
What does it take... what does it take to beat Krista Isadora Duncan!? This woman just does not give up!

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

Hauling himself to his feet, Leon drags Krista back up, slowly and painfully. The Los Angeles fans are rampant in their support again as Krista slumps back against the ropes. A weak forearm rocks her. And a second. Leon then attempts an irish whip, but it's reversed. Leon manages to hang onto the ropes on the far side though, putting on the brakes.

COLE
What a main-event to mark this historic 300th episode!

COACH
Episodic!

With Leon against the ropes, Krista finds the strength to charge in. A dip of the shoulder sees her elevated up and over the top. But she lands safely on her feet on the apron! Grabbing the top rope, Krista then slings herself back in, catching hold of Leon on the way over AND BRINGING HIM DOWN ACROSS THE KNEES FACE-FIRST!!!!!

"YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

COLE
KIDOLOGY!!! KIDOLOGY!!!!

Leon's head snaps back and after a couple of agonising seconds, Krista falls on top...



1...







2...








NO!! THE REFEREE GETS PULLED OUT OF THE RING!!!!!!

COLE
WHAT!?

Maybe unsurprisingly, it's MISTER DICK who's interjecting himself and he shoves Chioda in the chest to knock him on his BUTT. Mister Dick then quickly jumps into the ring, popping Krista with a right jab, just to confirm the deed and give Mike Chioda no choice but to call for the least popular disqualification in wrestling history!


*DINGDINGDING!*

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

COLE
NO!! SON OF A BITCH, NO!!

Mr. Dick can afford to smile as he puts the boots to Krista, amidst a CAULDRON of noise from the Los Angeles crowd! It doesn't take long for the trash to start flying into the ring, all aimed at The Human Hard On, as he wails away on Krista.

"FUCK YOU DICK!"
"FUCK YOU DICK!"
"FUCK YOU DICK!"
"FUCK YOU DICK!"

The boots keep on raining in and so does the trash. Mr. Dick catches one food wrapper lobbed at him, using it to wipe into Krista's face for further humiliation!

COLE
I can't believe this! I can't believe this rotten, no good, son of a... this DICK! This Dick has just cost Krista Isadora Duncan the World Heavyweight Title in her hometown!

COACH
Well you know what they say, paybacks are a Dick!

Disbelief starts to set in amongst the anger as Mr. Dick drags Krista around the ring, stopping to yell at the raging crowd. But suddenly a cheer goes up, as THA PUERTO RICAN skids into the ring and jumps Mister Dick from behind!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
IT'S PRL! AND HE WANTS A PIECE OF THE DICK!

COACH
....

COLE
Metaphorically.

Tha Puerto Rican lays into Mr. Dick with a flurry of punches, backing him up into a corner and continuing to go to town! Legs flailing, Mr. Dick falls against the turnbuckles, PRL not stopping his attack and stomping a mudhole in the Texan's chest and walking it dry! Able to pick himself up, Mr. Dick manages to shove PRL away a step and tries to get away, but is pulled back by the short shorts and rocked with a SPIT PUNCH! He then staggers around to Krista, who is up and delivers a PUNT TO THE BALLS!!!

COACH
Not there!

Mr. Dick's pride and joy is smashed, leaving him open for a double clothesline from PRL and Krista. Taking a spill, Mr. Dick dives over Leon, who is still laying KOed beside the ropes, heading for the hills. PRL climbs the turnbuckles and dares him to come back, but The Human Hard On has clearly accomplished what he set out to and manages a smile as he looks back at Krista fuming at him.

COLE
A small piece of revenge, but not nearly enough for Krista or PRL! Mister Dick has conspired to ruin the dream homecoming for Krista and to ruin this 300th episode of HeldDOWN~!

As Mr. Dick is hounded on his way down the aisle, Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd, fired up still having not gotten all he wanted tonight. Krista manages not to seem too disappointed, more incredibly pissed off. She still accepts a handshake from PRL though, the former World Champion raising the hand of the would-be World Champion to the adoring cheers of her hometown fans.

COLE
Unsatisfying though the ending may be for Krista legions of fans, we hope that you have enjoyed this 300th episode of HeldDOWN~! and we thank you for supporting us in the 299 previous! Here's to another 300, here in the OAOAST. We will be in St. Louis next week for 301! We hope you'll join us there. Goodnight everybody!

As Krista accepts the adulation of her fans, HeldDOWN~! FADES OUT for a 300th time.