Tony149 0 Report post Posted February 6, 2009 "Like The Angel" by Rise Against hits, and identical twin sensations MARV and MEL emerge through a purple haze sporting “Phelps Phan” t-shirts under their CAE logo jackets. They do the old Rock ‘n’ Roll Express leaping high-five and two pyrotechnic rockets fire into the air. BUFFER The following second round Anderson Cup bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 370 pounds and hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada… MARV and MEL… THE CHRIST AIR EXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEEESSSSSSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL do that baby face thing down the aisle, tossing aside their jackets/shirts once inside. COLE As you OAOAST Marks can see, the Christ Air Express are without sister Melody. This after Theodore Moneymaker demanded the princess of pushbutton, the queen of geek be barred from ringside. COACH It’s the least OAOAST President Josie Baker could do after that freak Ragdoll destroyed Teddy’s property. He’s got a slam dunk case and Josie knows it, that’s why she bent over and took it up the ass! COLE At this time I want to remind everybody to join me and my new co-host right here live next week on TSM. I’m also told Melody Nerdly has sent an email stating recent pictures of her floating around online are photoshopped. COACH Yeah, a few more pounds and she'll be able to float around alright. “Money Talks” by AC/DC blasts through the speakers. BUFFER And their opponents, representing THE ENTERPRISE. First, from our nation’s capital, Washington, D.C., weighing approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'…”THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRRRRRRRRIGHT! His tag team partner, 237 pounds from Vero Beach, Florida… “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright and Moneymaker are all business marching to the ring. The Billion Dollar Heir virtually expressionless until a “Why so serious?” poster is waved in front of him. MONEYMAKER :angry: Theodore rips the sign apart which brings a smile to his face. COACH There’s the Teddy we all know and love. COLE Maybe for you it is. But speaking of love, there’s none lost here, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s take you back to last year’s Enterprise “shareholders meeting”. OAOAST FLASHBACK [QUOTE=HeldDOWN~!, September 7th 2008]Inside [Reliant Stadium] a stage has been setup on a raised platform, the likes of which you’d typical see at a concert or political convention, with a "WELCOME SHAREHOLDERS" banner hanging overhead and Enterprise logo on the video wall. There’s even live entertainment courtesy of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS who perform with the spotlight solely on them as the rest of the stadium is blacked out. Suddenly a PLANE buzzes overhead, causing everyone to duck and then have a laugh once it passes over. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA! For a second there I thought we were under attack. The plane buzzes over again, but this time [color="#A0522D"][b]DIRTY BROWN WATER[/b][/color] drops from the heavens, soaking everyone but V.I.C.E. who managed to be in the right place at the right time away from the front row and stage. COACH The hell?! Mackie runs screaming out of the picture dripping wet, then the lights come on to reveal NOBODY in the stadium other than the Enterprise. The cheers, jeers and chants were piped in! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The live crowd viewing the proceedings from Minute Maid Park absolutely loves that the Enterprise got humiliated. COLE I knew it! There’s no way a decent human being could support Theodore Moneymaker or his causes. Detective Bosley inspects the watery substance and informs his boss that it’s not just regular water but dirty, nasty...[color="#A0522D"][b]BONG WATER[/b][/color]! MONEYMAKER :firedevil: [/quote] COACH One of the show’s lowlights by a couple of lowlifes. Removed of their entrance attire, Moneymaker gives Wright the signal and The Natural takes his place on the apron next to his trusty briefcase. Meanwhile, MEL gets the nod for his team based on seniority, all 40.8 seconds of it. * DINGDINGDING * Theodore Moneymaker and MEL lockup at the sound of the bell, and Moneymaker jabs the knee into the midsection. Eager to wash the bad taste left in his mouth the last two weeks, the Billion Dollar Heir clubs MEL to his knees, then barrows an old Tony Brannigan signature move raking the eyes across the laces of the boot. Temporarily blinded MEL wanders to the wrong side of town and gets mugged by a Christian Wright European uppercut that drops him at the feet of Theodore Moneymaker. COACH Get a good look at this, Cole. This is the position Ragdoll will soon find himself in -- at Teddy’s feet! Laughing at the top of his lungs, Moneymaker taunts both CAE members before paint brushing MEL. He then shoots him off to the far side, but MEL slides through the legs and dropkicks the Billion Dollar Heir! Likewise for CW when he comes in to lend Teddy a helping hand. MARV evens the odds and the CAE whip the senior E members into the same corner and monkey flip them out! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Irate as can be, Moneymaker charges into a double backdrop, and then joins his partner outside after a MEL spinning heel kick! “C-A-E!” “C-A-E!” “C-A-E!” The crowd is RAWKING as Wright and Moneymaker re-strategize on the arena floor. A new plan Theodore enacts with the use of a sucker punch on MEL. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Series of knife edge chops soften the Phelps Phan to Moneymaker’s liking. An Irish whip ensues and MEL dazzles the audience by countering an attempted clothesline into a SWINGING BULLDOG! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The cover. ONE! TWO! Save by CW, who proceeds to drag Teddy to their corner for the tag. COACH How’s that for teamwork? I bet you’d do the same for me, Cole. COLE No, not really. COACH But I’m your broadcast partner?! COLE I miss Tazz. :( Wright and Moneymaker aren’t the only ones to tag, so do the CAE and the new legal men lockup. As MARV and CW jockey for position, they find themselves in the corner. Ordered to break CW cheap shots MARV and fires him to the far buckle for a CORNER SPEAR, then drapes Papa Nerdly’s baby boy across his shoulders and begins to sprint forward when MARV slips out and executes a SUNSET FLIP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CW pops his feet and into an arm drag, which MARV follows with a quick side headlock. The Natural shoves him off but gets leveled by a shoulder tackle. Payback follows after MARV hits the ropes and gets spiked with a high-angle sit-out spine buster! COLE The Wright-Off! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! SAVE BY MEL! Well intended, MEL does more harm than good as while he’s escorted back to the corner Wright and Moneymaker put the boots to his brother. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Let that be a lesson to all the kids out there. You smoke dope and you’re gonna end up looking like one in a pressure situation. Theodore claps overhead in hopes of getting the official, his back turned, to think a tag was made. And since that official just happens to be Clem Buzzlefoxer, it sadly works. COLE Poor Clem. He’s taken more advantage of than the American taxpayer. Back elbow finds its mark, and then Moneymaker drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS. Instead of going for the cover he stalks MARV and when the time is right locks him in THE BANK VAULT!! COACH He’s got MARV locked inside and only Teddy knows the code, Mikey. COLE MARV in serious trouble here. Can he hang on? COACH He might if that idiot brother of his goes in and breaks it up. COLE I think MEL is a little gun-shy following what happened the last time he interfered. Though you gotta love the fact he’s giving his younger brother a chance to fight out of this on his own. Anybody with a brother of their own will understand. “SK8TE OR DIE!” “SK8TE OR DIE!” “SK8TE OR DIE!” Starting to go spaghetti-leg MARV nails a desperation JAWBREAKER! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" MARV shakes off the cobwebs and goes for the tag, but Christian Wright rushes inside and knocks MEL off the apron, then hauls MARV back to the Enterprise corner. COLE What a bad break for the Christ Air Express. MARV feet away from the tag. A tag is made and CW delivers a MIDDLE ROPE ELBOWDROP across the back of MARV! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MEL! COACH Oh, yeah. MEL waits until CW isn’t looking to strike him. At least Melody went chest to flat chest with Jade. She’s got bigger balls than them. COLE :rolleyes: NIGHTMARE ON WALLSTREET leads to THE WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF! COACH There it is, Cole. That’s the move that got Teddy and CW into the second round and will into the MWC Conference Finals. MEL doesn’t bullshit around this time. He comes up behind CW and executes a sick FULL NELSON FACEBUSTER! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Talk about a bailout package that’ll save jobs. That just might have kept the identical twin sensations Anderson Cup hopes alive. “SK8TE OR DIE!” “SK8TE OR DIE!” “SK8TE OR DIE!” Fueled by the crowd, MARV inches towards his corner in search of the tag. MEL stretched out as far as humanly possibly egging on his baby brother. But it’s Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker who tag first. The Billion Dollar Heir’s top priority to prevent the CAE from doing the same, but MARV lunges forward and tags MEL! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Jaw dropped in classic heel fashion Moneymaker begs off, but MEL shows no mercy and hammers away. Fired into the ropes Theodore is back dropped, and then whipped to the buckle where MEL soars in on a flying corner clothesline! Moneymaker falls onto his back near the corner and the crowd rises to their feet sensing what’s next. COLE Is it Shooting Star time? MEL flashes the RAWK~ sign and ascends to the top…only to be shoved down to the mat by CW! COACH Look at that, Cole. A falling star! Stomped by Wright and Moneymaker, MEL is sent for the ride. But he ducks a double clotheslines and MARV trips up both E members! He pulls CW outside while MEL sets to NOSEPLANT Theodore. Moneymaker flips him over but MEL lands on his feet, evades another clothesline and shoots off the ropes into a POWERSLAM! The cover is made as CW holds up MARV. ONE! TWO! THREE-- NO, KICKOUT!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" MONEYMAKER :o As MARV and CW brawl outside, Theodore drags MEL near the corner and climbs onto the middle rope. DIVING BACK ELBOW…BUT NOBODY’S HOME! The Billion Dollar Heir returns to a vertical base slightly loopy. Not totally aware of his surroundings he’s driven into the ropes and rolled up from behind! Meanwhile, MARV is STUN GUN on the guardrail and CW returns inside to deliver a SUPERKICK that enables Teddy to roll through! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COACH They did it! You know what this means, Cole? Teddy and CW vs. V.I.C.E. in the MWC Conference Finals! COLE I think we all know how that one will go. COACH Yeah, a full 60 minutes. We may need multiple overtime periods to settle that one. COLE :rolleyes: BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the MWC Conference Finals… “THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker and Wright taunt the CAE and their stoners (the boys’ version of Hulkamanics) before raising their hands in triumph. COLE A heartbreaking loss for the Christ Air Express. COACH And the best part is, there’s no excuses. Teddy and CW won it fair and square. COLE You’re right about that. It was a terrific match with a disappointing outcome for many OAOAST Marks. Wright and Moneymaker may be a lock to be in the Anderson Cup Finals, but it’s no guarantee they’ll go on to win it all. The Beverly Hills Blonds are still very much alive. COACH So they got lucky against Mr. Dick and Malaysia, who both had a lot of things on their minds I might add. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to drop their conference final match to avoid facing Teddy and CW in the Finals. COLE I think you have the Blonds confused with V.I.C.E. COACH Oh, you’re so gonna hear from them for that. COLE Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve still come a whole lot more to come. So don’t you dare go away! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
