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King Cucaracha

CS: Cortez vs. Cash vs. Spencer

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COLE
As we go back up to the ring!

"It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down plays and to a typically warm reception, the smiling and waving figure of Tim Cash makes it's way through the curtains. Tim shows his excitement with a quick clap of the hands and fist pump, that's how you know it's a big match for him!

BUFFER
This next contest is a triple threat match, set for one fall and it is for the OAOAST United States Championship! Introducing, the challengers. First, hailing from Peoria, Illinois... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. He is wrestling's last real good guy... TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM... CCAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Tim shakes hands down the aisle, meeting and greeting a good 45 people before he even reaches the ring. He gets in a couple of last eager youngsters before climbing up the ring steps, entering with a hearty wave for all those he had to miss out.

COLE
United States Championship on the line, a great opportunity for two more young prospects here in the OAOAST. One of whom, this man, Tim Cash!

COACH
And what was with that autograph session he was doing earlier out front? Nobody told me about that.

COLE
Well that's because there was no autograph session Coach, or at least there wasn't one planned. But Tim arrived early tonight excited for this match and when he noticed how many of our great fans had showed up early too, he borrowed a table from catering and sat himself outside. That wasn't the OAOAST's doing, that was pure Tim Cash! Out of the goodness of his heart!

COACH
You fail to mention how he was charging $30 an autograph.

COLE
That's because that's a dirty lie.

Tim continues waving to the fans, as "The World Is Mine" hits. A wealth of flickering and flashing spotlights alternate between entirely red and entirely white across the entrance stage. The lights on the floor then turn blue cutting through a thin haze that fills the stage. Stepping into this tranquil mist, Spencer Reiger brushes off his shoulders and brushes back his hood to reveal a smirking look.

BUFFER
Introducing challenger number two. From Manhattan, New York... weighing in at two hundred, ten pounds. He is "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT"... SSSSPPPEEEEEEEEENNCCCCCEEEEEEERRRRR... RRRREEEEEEIIIIIIIIIGGEEEEERRRRRRR!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Reiger saunters down the ramp, cloaked by a bright white spotlight to contrast the flashing blue and red "SR" shaped illuminations on the entrance ramp. As he reaches the end of the aisle, Spencer holds up a finger asking the crowd to hold on a second. He then removes his Ed Hardy hoody, revealing a New England Patriots jersey. The cheers don't last long though. Having suckered them in, Spencer then reveals it's not just any Pats jerset, but a number 12 Tom Brady jersey, before he LIMPS his way into the ring.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COLE
Oh come on! There's no call for that!

COACH
Yeah, making fun of sports teams is Alf's gimmick.

Carefully entering the ring, Spencer continues to hobble around a bit as Tim looks on disapprovingly. Finally Spencer takes off the jersey before he causes any disturbances.

COLE
Spencer and Cash have had their issues ever since Spencer was promoted to the OAOAST roster last year. When you talk about two contrasting personalities, they don't get much more contrasting than these two.

Referee Chad Patton keeps order between the two challengers, while "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche hits and the first time Nate Dogg shouts "Oh No", a quick burst of pyro shoots up from both sides of the ramp, showering Todd Cortez in sparkles as he stands preparing to walk down the aisle.

BUFFER
And introducing his opponent. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty six pounds... and representing Cucaracha Internacional... he is the reigning and defending OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOORRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

The crowd is somewhat split on the United States Champion as he heads to the ring.

The reaction is fairly mixed up in the private boxes too. Landon Maddix stands applauding, James Blonde staying seated next to him with arms folded, folded tightly even, as much as any human could possibly fold their arms.

Todd climbs the turnbuckles and raises the US Title, before passing it to referee Patton.

COLE
So this is one fall to a finish, the first man to score a pinfall or submission will be the US Champion and the champion, Todd Cortez, does not have to be involved in the decision. He'll have to have eyes in the back of his head tonight.

Both challengers get a look at the belt before the bell sounds.


*DINGDINGDING!*

The three men move towards each other and Cash looks set to lock up with Spencer. To his left Cortez is about to do the same, prompting Tim to apologise for getting in his opponent's way and politely stepping aside.

COACH
Well that bodes well for Cash's chances.

COLE
This is certainly no time for politeness.

Cortez does lock up with Spencer and they jockey for position until Todd manages to grab a side headlock. After a brief struggle Spencer slips out the back, applying a hammerlock. Cash stands nearby looking or an opening to get involved. He keeps his distance as Cortez reverses into his own hammerlock. Dropping down, Spencer takes Cortez down with a toehold, floating over into a side headlock. Thinking he has an opening Cash moves forward, but Todd begins to get to his feet and he respectfully backs off again. That doesn't stop Reiger from insulting Tim. Although an escape and a kick to the back of the knee from Todd does.

COLE
Ow!

Hobbled by the kick Spencer turns around to the US Champion and puts the badmouth on him for what her percieves a cheap move. And that's the opening Cash needs, spinning Spencer around into a fireman's carry.

COACH
Now come on, that was hardly a 'nice-guy' move, he attacked the man from behind!

COLE
Technically he spun him around and then attacked him from the front.

Stomping back up, Spencer looks pissed and tries to take Cash's head off with a clothesline. Cash ducks and Spencer ends up soaring over the top rope instead with Cortez's help!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

With Spencer out of the way Cortez and Cash are left to go at it. They tie up, Cortez going underneath with a hammerlock. Cash drops to his knees and rolls to the side, coming out with Todd's arm wrung. Looking to escape the wristlock Cortez rolls forward... but Tim is ready for that and rolls right with him, coming up with the wrist still locked!

COLE
Nice move by Tim.

Wringing the arm again Cash brings Todd forward into a fireman's carry, putting his body weight across Cortez's chest...


1...



Cortez lifts a shoulder, but Cash forces down again...


1...



Another shoulder comes up. Accepting defeat, Cash pats Todd on the chest and allows him to get back up.

COACH
What the hell was that? He had him down!

COLE
Tim Cash isn't a fan of hitting people when they're down, as we've seen in his occasional Athletic Competition Invitationals.

Back on his feet Todd sizes up Cash again. They lock-up again with Cash this time grabbing a 3/4 headlock. Cortez uses some open palms to the stomach to force Cash's grip loose, vaulting over his back to the other side where he delivers an armdrag. Rolling to his feet, Cash runs into Todd with a shoulder block. The US Champ stays on his feet but off balance, all Tim wanted as he hits the ropes...


...and gets tripped from the outside by Reiger.

COLE
There's that third man dillema. Can't afford to forget about either opponent for too long, no matter where they are.

Crawling in past Cash, Spencer ambushes Cortez with a running forearm smash. Cortez falls to a knee and Spencer clubs away with some more forearms, before raking the laces of his boot across the eyes. As Cash picks himself back up holding his nose, Spencer tries to take Cortez up for a suplex, but the US Champion blocks.

REIGER
HEY! Get over here and help, wouldya?

Yelling at Cash, Spencer gets no reaction.

REIGER
I'm sorry, I'm sorry... [i]please[/i] would you come and help me out?

Tim looks out at the fans, who immediately roar at him not to. But being the ultimate nice guy, Tim simply can't refuse to help after being asked politely! So he walks over and together, he and Reiger deliver a double suplex on the US Champion! They pop back up and Spencer pats Tim on the back for a good job.

CASH
See, now that wasn't so hard was it?

Tim offers a handshake... and Spencer sucker punches him in the mouth, then dumps him to the outside!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
HAHAHA! Fantastic!

Spencer quickly drops an elbow on Cortez with the coast clear, looking for the pin...


1...



2...



No.

Picking Todd back up, Spencer whips him into a corner, following in with a clothesline. As Cortez staggers out he wanders right into the path of The Prodigy coming off the ropes, swinging with another clothesline. But the US Champion ducks and snatches Spencer up for a Sitout Spinebuster!!

COLE
Nice counter move!


1...



2...



No!

Cortez hounds Spencer as he rolls away. So much so that Spencer keeps on rolling until his feet hit the floor looking for a timeout. What he doesn't notice is Tim Cash walking up behind him, hands on hips. With a disapproving shake of the head he waits for Spencer to realise something's up, then once he's turned around nails him with a forearm shot!

COLE
And Tim Cash finally going to get his hands on Reiger!

Tim continues to fire away with forearms on Reiger...


...until they're both suddenly wiped out by a FRONTFLIP PESCADO by Todd Cortez!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Yeah, not for long though.

COLE
Again, you can't forget about the third man. Or else something like that's going to happen to you. The US Champion playing it smart and picking his spot there.

Back up, Cortez grabs a hold of Spencer and puts him into the steel steps. He then rolls Cash back inside. Cortez climbs to the apron, laying in wait while Tim picks himself back up. Leaping to the top, the US Champion connects with a Springboard Missile Dropkick and goes for the cover...


1...



2...



Kickout.

Cortez delivers a snap suplex, again looking for the quick fall...


1...



2...



No.

Spotting Spencer getting back up onto the apron, Cortez charges him off, a popular move with the Boston crowd. Cortez grabs Cash as he gets to his feet, delivering a European uppercut. And then a second. Irish whip puts Cash into the turnbuckles, stumbling back out and being elevated with a BAAAAACK bodydrop!

COACH
Looks like Todd is turning it on for the boss tonight!

COLE
You mean Landon? Do you really think Cortez cares about what Landon thinks of him, after all he's been put through this past year?

COACH
That was just tough love. And now it's worked. The end.

A stomp flattens Tim back down, allowing Cortez to land with a Standing Moonsault...


1...



2...



Kickout.

Reiger pops back up onto the apron and Cortez gives Tim another stomp before going to meet him. But Spencer has the answer this time and catches Todd coming with a forearm to the face. Spencer then runs down the apron to the corner posts, lining Cortez up for the running enziguri!

COLE
Ooh! That precision kick right to the back of the head. Spencer Reiger firing himself right back into this match.

Stepping in over Cortez, Spencer shoves him underneath the bottom rope and to the outside before turning his attentions to Tim Cash. With Tim just getting to his feet, he's spun around by the shoulder. Right into a perfect looking Standing Dropkick, flush on the jaw. Spencer quickly hooks a leg and demands a count...

COACH
Here we go, new Champion!


1...



2...



No!

COACH
You think I jinxed it?

COLE
Saying that rarely helps, but if it makes you feel any better I don't think Tim Cash is going to go down to a dropkick. Even one as beautifully executed as that.

Spencer stays on the attack, raining down a succession of closed fists to Tim's forehead until the referee warns him off.

COLE
Spencer Reiger certainly has no qualms about hitting a man while he's down.

COACH
That's because he's a winner.

Leading Cash over to the ropes, Spencer scoops and slams him in position right next to them. As he steps out of the ring to the apron Reiger waits, luring in Cortez and kicking back at him to fend him off. Grabbing onto the top rope Reiger then brings himself back in over the top, landing on Cash's chest with a double stomp! Reiger hangs onto the top rope though... JUMPING OFF OF CASH AND OVER THE TOP ROPE, DOWN ONTO CORTEZ ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Incredible! Even you've gotta give it up for Spence after that Cole!

COLE
That was quite the one-two combination, I'll admit it.

COACH
And with both opponents out, all Spencer's gotta do is finish one off and we've got ourselves a new United States Champion. Touch wood this time.

Spencer picks himself up to some begrudging applause from some of the crowd, which he quickly shoves back down their throats by giving them the 'up yours'. By the time he rolls back inside Cash is up to his knees, but clearly winded. Reiger leads him to his feet, executing another bodyslam on the nicest of nice guys. Spencer then points to where he's heading, the top rope.

COLE
The One Man Triple Threat could be closing in on victory here in this United States Title triple threat match.

A shot of the skyboxes shows a look of concern on Landon Maddix's face and a hard to ignore grin on James Blonde's next to him.

Reaching the top, Spencer finds himself facing the crowd and can't resist one last taunt, before tumbling backwards with a MOONSAULT!!

COACH
Got it!

COLE
But he's not covering him? That's a rookie mistake right there, GOT to cover him after that!

With a wag of his finger Spencer lets everybody know he's not done just yet though. Dusting his hands, he starts to pick Cash back up and hooks up an arm with Tim on one knee.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Ah, he wants to chalk another one up on the Reiger Counter, that's what it is!

Spencer nods his head with a smile, hooking the other arm. The Boston crowd jeer and boo, distracting Spencer...


...long enough for Cash to slip free and trip Spencer up, crossing the legs for the cloverleaf!

COLE
GOT CAUGHT!

And to the delight of the crowd, Cash is able to turn Reiger over and apply the MIDWEST SLING!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Submission is applied! Will Reiger be forced to tap out!?

COACH
Not by Tim Cash! We can't have a nice guy representing the USA, what the hell kind of message does that send about our country!? Come on Spencer!

Reiger writhes around in pain in the hold, one he's succummed to on more than one ocassion. For now he's hanging on, but just barely.

"TAP!"
"TAP!"
"TAP!"
"TAP!"

Hands clasped to his head Reiger shouts no, but a sudden surge of pain pulls the hands away. His right hovers, ready to give it up...



...JUST as Todd Cortez runs in to bundle Cash over and break up the hold!!

COLE
Todd Cortez just saved his United States Title right there! He was a split second away from losing that belt without even being beaten, but thankfully made it in time!

Landon is certainly thankful, clearly breathing heavily as he watches on, Blonde silently cursing next to him.

Reiger rolls himself out of harm's way to recover, while Cortez goes after Cash. After a pair of European uppercuts he whips Cash across, ducking his head ready to catch him. But Cash puts on the brakes, countering into a backslide...


1...



2...



NO!

As Cortez tries to go by Cash, he gets caught in a chinlock. Cash turns so that he's back to back with the US Champion, looking for the modified backbreaker. Able to turn out of it Todd instead pulls Cash into the standing headscissors... and Cash quickly backdrops his way free of danger, only for Cortez to hang on for a sunset flip...


1...



2...



NO!

Laying in wait, Spencer sees his opportunity and rushes forward with a double clothesline. He connects with Cash, but not Cortez, who ducks and schoolboys Spencer...


1...



2...



NO!

COLE
Quick falls being exchanged, US Title hanging in the balance here.

Spencer runs in at Cortez again, taking a back elbow for his troubles. Stepping in Cash is cut off as well, Cortez booting him in the gut and looking for a suplex. Floating up and over the back Cash applies a waistlock. Standing switch puts Cortez in control, as Spencer runs in, BOTH men ducking their heads and delivering a combined backdrop!! Cash takes advantage of the moment and switches back to a waistlock and looks to run Cortez into the ropes for an O'Connor roll, but the US Champion hangs onto the top rope and pushes Cash off. Cash rolls through to his feet and drops down to avoid Cortez, who ends up getting backdropped over the top by Reiger. He lands on the apron though, kicking Reiger in the back of the head! He staggers forward... into a SLEEPER from Cash!

COLE
Do Not Resuscitate, from the former EMT!

Leaping back into the ring, Cortez charges off the ropes with his two opponents sitting targets for the HOLLOW POOOOOIIIIIINT...



...Spencer able to move out of the way, causing Cash to get tackled!!

COLE
Cortez went for it all and he got... some.

COACH
But maybe not enough.

As Cortez gets back up Spencer is waving frantically, eager for Cortez to turn around into his boot to the gut. He quickly hooks the arms up for Reiger Counte... NO! Cortez spins free! Holding onto Spencer's wrist he pulls him into a boot, reeling him into a standing headscissors AND SPIKING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A SUPER QUICK RIOT ACT PLUS~!~!~!~!~!

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

COACH
AAAHHH!

COLE
RIOT ACT PLUS~! NOBODY kicks out from that!

With Spencer officially KTFOed, Cortez turns around to find Cash stumbling his way. Quick as a flash, he wraps him up into a dragon sleeper position and takes him to the mat with a body scissors. Adding the armbar he then wrenches back, trapping Tim on the canvas! After just a couple of seconds Tim has had enough...


...and taps out against Cortez's hip, to a cheer from the crowd!

COLE
And it's Street Dreams for Tim Cash, Todd Cortez retains the United States Title!


*DINGDINGDING!*

Letting go of the hold, Cortez climbs back up and has his hand raised, looking back and forth at both his fallen challengers.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... STILL the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOORRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Cortez is passed the US Champion, a quick camera cut showing Landon Maddix on his feet applauding jubilantly. Not wanting to look suspicious Blonde is standing too, giving Cortez the dreaded slow clap in a show of his disappointment. Putting the title back over his shoulder, Todd leaves the ring with his job done.

COLE
A tricky test for the United States Champion, passed with flying colours. Todd Cortez showing everybody just what a talent he is and what talent has gone to waste being in the shackles of Cucaracha Internacional for so long.

COACH
Oh get over it already. He's in the good books now!

COLE
As long as he's got the United States Title maybe. I still don't think the situation with Cortez and the rest of Cucaracha Internacional is as cut and dry as you make out though Coach. We may find out soon enough. But for now, The Urban Legend remains the US Champion.

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