King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted March 6, 2009 A wide shot of the audience can be seen as "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana begins to waft through the arena. Boos greet the appearance of The Heavenly Rockers, all smiles between the four people on stage. A big smile adorns Logan Mann's face, playing some killer air guitar before pulling in wife Holly for a hug as she sneers at the camera. Behind them Synth is coached by his spiritual advisor, scourge of the family of many scourges, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring... COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents, the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... also accompanied to the ring by HOLLY... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR... LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HHHEEEEEEEAAAAAVVVEEEEENNLLLLYYYYYYYY... RRRRRRROOOOOOOCCKKEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A couple of guys who've been having some problems recently with Jamie O'Hara on our sister program Syndicated. It seems like, for whatever reason, Synth and Logan have taken it upon themselves to try and discredit and embarrass O'Hara and try and make him a laughing stock. COACH With a huge assist from O'Hara himself. Logan climbs to the ring apron, turning to the crowd on the far side and encouraging them to "SING ALONG, YOU KNOW THE WORDS!" Unfortunately this isn't a rock concert and nobody's paid to see Logan, so they respond by booing him. As he and Holly enter the ring, Synth bows his head at ringside in solemn prayer. COLE The Rockers seem to have some sort of chip on their shoulder that guys like O'Hara are getting respect and adulation for what they bring to the OAOAST, where-as they claim to be the greatest rock n' wrestling band going and they don't get any. COACH Well can you blame them really? These guys are three time Tag Team Champions, bonafide superstars. A guy like O'Hara can do a bunch of flips, but what else does he bring to the table? Nothing! He's a scrawny punk with zero intelligence. That's why the One And Only Jamie O'Hara Federation is tanking so badly. COLE Oh don't even bring up that abomination, that farce from the mind of Abdullah Abir. Much to Abdullah's annoyance his prayers are interrupted noisely as "Like The Angel" hits and the crowd climb to their feet. As the lyrics kick in the twin Nerdly brothers run out and hit the always awesome leaping high-five, setting off a pair of pyrotechnic rockets, one orange and one blue. BUFFER And their opponents... from Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds... the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL sprint to the ring and slide in, going up onto adjacent middle turnbuckles to salute the roaring crowd. Hanging back Logan watches from halfway through the ropes, urging referee Charles Robinson to keep the amped up twins back as they leap down in his direction. COLE A great reaction for The Christ Air Express, who look to be in [i]high[/i] spirits here tonight! COACH Canned laughter. COLE ...Coach... usually when people mock bad jokes, they actually make the sound of canned laughter, not just say "Canned laughter". COACH My way's better. Continuing to lean between the ropes Logan waits until Synth has done meditating and initiates a team conference. It's decided that Logan will start and he carefully comes out from between the ropes. *DINGDINGDING!* As Logan leaves his corner, MARV gets the crowd clapping. Not happy Logan yells at the people to knock it off, before going to the corner and getting Synth to cover his ears for him. COLE You'd think 'the greatest rock n' wrestling band' would be used to the sound of crowds clapping. I guess they don't get much of that at their concerts. Go figure. COACH Canned laughte... COLE Would you quit that already!? Composing himself, Logan locks up with MARV. Quickly he grabs a side headlock and takes him over, nodding his head confidently. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU GREEN BAAAAYYY!" he yells, to a chorus of boos rather than cheers you'd expect. MARV fights back to his feet and shoots Logan off, getting put down with a shoulder tackle. Off the ropes again, Logan delivers on a second shoulder tackle. Off a third set of ropes Logan tries a shoulder tackle, but gets too lazy with it and takes a drop toehold! MEL jumps in and the referee holds Synth at bay from coming in, while Logan is legdropped across the back of the head! First by MEL, then by MARV! Then by MEL! And again by MARV! MARV I CAN'T HEAR YOU GREEN BAY! "WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Logan rolls over to his corner and tags out, nursing the back of his head and a bruised ego. In steps Synth and he squares up to MEL, shoving him in the chest. Not appreciating that, MEL balls up his fist for a right hand, only for the Muslim convert to drop to his knees and pray for forgiveness! COLE What is this now? COACH He's a man of peace. You don't hurt a man of peace! A little confused as to what to do MEL turns to his brother for advice, the opening Synth needs to attack from behind! He clubs MEL repeatedly across the back, putting him against the ropes. Synth turns MEL around and delivers a couple of bodyshots, then looks to the heavens. He then looks for an irish whip... but MEL reverses, catching Synth on the way back with a drop toehold. In comes MARV, running the ropes with the legdrop! Legdrop from MEL! Legdrop from MARV! Legdrop from MEL and Synth is out of there as well!! COLE The Christ Air Express are giving Synth and Logan the run around! COACH Come on with the double teaming already referee! I know they're twins, but even if you can't tell them apart, surely you can tell there's two of 'em! The Heavenly Rockers look to regroup on the outside, but suddenly look up in horror as MEL soars over the top... ...NO! He fakes them out! Synth and Logan had ducked and think they're safe, not seeing MEL leap back inside. As MEL drops to all fours, MARV charges, USING HIS BROTHER AS A LAUNCHPAD TO DIVE ONTO THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Sliding back inside, MARV hits the double high-five with MEL as the crowd go wild. COLE I'm sure MARV and MEL's good buddy Jamie O'Hara's got a smile on his face watching this somewhere. COACH Nah. That'd require a personality. Getting the troups properly regrouped Abdullah pats Synth on the back. Which does him no good, because as soon as he's on the apron, MEL brings him in THE HARD WAY~! Synth walks into a dropkick. And a second. As MEL goes to take a run at him SAJ takes a swing, missing wildly as MEL goes behind into a crucifix... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm MEL brings in MARV, who comes off the top with an axehandle. MARV takes over the arm-wringer but gets caught in the gut with a knee. Shot off MARV goes up and over a dropdown. As he comes off the other side though, Logan sticks out a knee! Caught right in the kidneys MARV stumbles forward, into a swinging neckbreaker by Synth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Cover by Synth... 1... 2... No! COLE Like it or not that's why The Heavenly Rockers are one of the most successful tag teams in OAOAST history. They know tag team wrestling inside out. Every trick, every shortcut. Tag is made to Logan, who stomps MARV right in the ear and then taunts MEL. Taunted to the point that he's drawn into the ring, distracting the referee while Synth comes in and chokes MARV. COLE And there we go again. The supposed 'man of peace', that didn't last long did it? COACH Perhaps he's trying to heal him. You don't know that's not his intention! As Synth makes a quick exit, Logan follows up by dropping an elbow and covers... 1... 2... No! Logan brings MARV back up, elbowing him in the back of the head on the way. Hooking him up, the MACHO Macho Mann executes a vertical suplex in the centre of the ring. Logan positions himself at MARV's side and gives the signal for... something not usually in his repetoire. Back turned, he tucks, sets... fakes out on the standing moonsault and kicks MARV in the head instead. COLE That was a blatant shot at Jamie O'Hara right there. COACH That was more entertaining than anything O'Hara has done in his entire life. Angered by the kick, MARV surprises Logan by rolling to his knees and unleashing with some right hands to the gut. Logan stops him by dropping a double axehandle though. Picking him back up, Logan delivers a short arm clothesline and hooks MARV up... 1... 2... No! Dragging MARV to the corner, Logan makes the tag before bringing him back out. Scooping MARV up, Logan hands over to Synth to assist with a Double Sidewalk Slam! COACH The Christ Air Express, they think that they're 'party dudes'. They wouldn't last 10 minutes at the Heavenly Rockers aftershow parties. Just like they can't last with them in the ring. Synth walks around the ring, watching as MARV tries to pull himself up. Out of sight of the referee Logan reaches in and grabs the back of MARV's tights, keeping him in Heavenly Rocker territory for a flying knee in the corner... NO! MARV lands an elbow and manages to move out of the way! Synth lays splattering across the turnbuckles as MARV starts to crawl to try and make the tag. Able to shake off the elbow Logan manages to tag himself in though and cuts MARV off before he can get the tag, then runs MEL off the apron with a double axehandle just to be sure. COLE That Heavenly Rockers advantage was almost the thing that didn't last. Watching MARV get to his feet Logan lures him in, pulling him into a standing headscissors. As he sets up for a piledriver though, MARV suddenly wakes up and counters with a backbody drop! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Logan gets back up and loads up the double axe again... but MARV ducks behind and counters with a Backslide! 1... 2... No! Back to his feet, Logan is unable to prevent MARV from crawling through his legs and lunging forward, getting the tag to his trusty twin! COLE Oh there we go, tag is made! COACH How'd he do that!? Scooting up the turnbuckles, MEL comes off the top with a fist to the top of Logan who's routed to the spot in surprise. Whipping Logan off the ropes MEL delivers a standing dropkick. A dropkick then sends Synth off of the apron and to the floor. MEL fires up and Logan spies an opportunity, running at MEL with a double axehandle. A sidestep puts Logan into the turnbuckles chest first, stumbling back into a schoolboy rollup... 1... 2... NO! MEL grabs a hold of Logan and whips him across the ring into the CAE corner. Charging in MEL leaves his feet and delivers a big flying clothesline in the corner landing in a seated position on the middle rope! COLE And MEL, just chillin' on the middle buckle a lil' bit. Logan staggers out and MEL goes up top. He waits for Logan to turn his way before wiping him out with a Flying Crossbody... 1... 2... NO! Logan rolls outside, just as Synth comes in trying to ambush MEL. That doesn't work though, caught running in with a spinning heel kick! COLE Caught him! Synth ran right into that one! Back in crawls MARV and the twins set Synth up with a double irish whip. Double fists to the gut double Synth up and they hit the ropes... but only one comes back, as MARV gets tripped up and pulled to the outside by Logan! The one who does come back doesn't fare much better, MEL spun around the world into a Gutbuster! COACH That was one trip that MEL didn't enjoy! Synth hooks a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! With Logan and MARV battling on the outside Synth gives a signal to the outside. And right on cue, it would appear, Abdullah Abir Nerdly appears on the apron. His presence instantly takes the attention of the referee, which allows Holly to slide in Abdullah's holy book! COLE Hey! COACH Synth looking for some inspirational words. COLE Or something nice and heavy to hit somebody with! COACH Yeah, either or. As Synth snatches up the book though, a disruption in the crowd distracts him. Leaping over the barricade is JAMIE O'HARA, ripping Abdullah Abir off of the apron to the mass approval of the fans! COACH Unhand him! That's a spiritual leader of men, he's not to be touched by the unwashed! O'Hara does more than touch Abdullah, LAYING HIM OUT WITH A RIGHT HAND!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" As O'Hara yells at Abdullah, Synth leaves the ring to come to his aid. He grips the book in his hands and leaps from the ring apron towards O'Hara... who moves, causing Synth to wipe himself out on the barricade!!! COLE God moves in mysterious ways. Synth just moved in a rather misguided way. COACH Jamie O'Hara should not even be out here! He's got his own fed to go to now so we don't have to put up with him! With Synth down and out, Logan re-enters the ring to complain about the presence of O'Hara at ringside. Up from behind from MEL, turning him around looking to go on the attack. Logan still has enough concentration to land the first blow though, booting MEL in the gut. He pulls MEL into the front facelock, setting him up for Percussion. Again his attention is taken by O'Hara though. Too busy yelling at him, Logan is surprised by MARV, coming off the top with a Missile Dropkick!! Managing to avoid landing on his head MEL floats over on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE That's it! MARV and MEL, with a little help from their friend, are gonna pick up the win in this one! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... MARV, MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EEEEEXXXXXXXPPRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Sliding out of the ring double-quick, MARV and MEL embrace on the outside in celebration. Having left Abdullah nursing his jaw O'Hara comes over to join them, dishing out some hand slaps and fist daps. Logan looks shocked and simmers as he looks on from the ring. COLE Well, a little bit of retribution for Jamie O'Hara tonight, seeing his buddies put away The Heavenly Rockers here on HeldDOWN~! Hey... maybe the One And Only Jamie O'Hara Federation have got an opening for a new tag team? COACH Yeah, you and your left nut! That's about the best that guy could do. Hitting a man of dignity in the face... no class! No class at all! As Holly comforts her husband, O'Hara encourages Logan to "come and get him". Logan is content to swear revenge from a safe distance for now, still fuming at what just happened. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
