Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 26, 2002 This is for those movies that you went to see in the theater, or was released from a major movie company, that BLEW. Watching "Car 54, Where Are You?" on some movie channel prompted this. I know the choices I threw up are based on what I think. As much as I love Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions's movie adaptation sucked. I voted for said movie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Army Eye Report post Posted June 26, 2002 My vote is for Mission to Mars Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheDames7 Report post Posted June 26, 2002 Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Dames - Flawless Post Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest IDrinkRatsMilk Report post Posted June 26, 2002 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 26, 2002 Mission to Mars was bad, but it had the cool robot. Haven't seen those other two. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest razazteca Report post Posted June 26, 2002 I voted for Water World but I believe that Ishtar was just as bad as for monetary loss. I saw Breakfast of Champions today on Comedy Central and must say that movie was very confusing, do you have to be drunk or high to enjoy the movie or what? Pootie Tang the Chris Rock movie did poor business as it had maybe 4 people in a theater at a time during the 2 weeks it was playing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheDames7 Report post Posted June 26, 2002 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer The Best Jennifer Love Hewitt has ever looked aside from Trojan War. That alone disqualifies it for me...and the fact that I saw this shitty film twice in theaters, own it and saw it last week for my amusement. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Will Scarlet Report post Posted June 26, 2002 The Brendan Fraser-Liz Hurley movie where she is the devil. I believe it is called Bedazzled. That one takes the cake for me. Honourable mention goes to Battlefield Earth. I remember I went to see that one with a bunch of friends, and they left saying such things as "That movie sucked." "Don't they screen these things?" "We paid HOW MUCH to see that movie?" etc. I really did not think it was that bad, kind of funny in a bad movie sense, but I never have seen that reaction among people after I went to see a movie before. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J*ingus Report post Posted June 26, 2002 Hey, I enjoyed The Matrix. And while I wouldn't claim that Waterworld or Cutthroat Island are good movies, I don't think they should be on a "worst ever" list. A few different ones come to mind, but the most prominent one is the aforementioned Battlefield Earth. This is the only movie I have ever come across that NOBODY liked. Everyone hated it. And in tribute, here's the great Mr. Cranky's review of that movie: "Battlefield Earth is one of the worst films ever made. It's that simple. It's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" made with 60 million dollars. Had Ed Wood actually made it, people would expect an apology. When the cultural impact of this fiasco finally sinks in, John Travolta will be lucky if he can get a job plucking the gray hairs out of Ron Palillo's ass. The only thing I can figure out is that the Church of Scientology decided that they wanted to ensure nobody else joined up. This movie is like watching the Pope accidentally catch on fire while giving Easter Mass. If that's not a time to rethink your spiritual choices, what is? Discussing the details of the plot is probably akin to discussing the literary merits of a Nora Roberts novel. I just can't emphasize enough how bad it all is. I mean, it's such a disaster it may resurrect Lawrence-Hilton Jacobs' career. He'll be able to defend himself by saying "at least I didn't make 'Battlefield Earth'," and executives will have to acknowledge that he has a point. Anyway, it's the year 3000, a thousand years after a race called the Psychlos has taken over the Earth. The head of security is Terl (John Travolta) and he wants to use the humans as slaves for his personal gain. Unfortunately, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) has other plans and leads a revolt. In case you haven't seen any pictures, Psychlos are Jamaican Klingons who talk like Ferengi. The primary special effect in the movie is accomplished by filling buckets with dirt and pieces of concrete and then tossing them across the screen. Director Roger Christian has a hard-on for flying dirt like you would not believe. The guys who wrote this should be forced to dictate everything for the rest of their lives so that they can never again touch pen to paper or finger to keyboard and declare themselves writers. If Christian can get a job as a Sears portrait photographer after this movie, Congress should make the use of cameras punishable by death. Every single scene is at an angle, which gave me the urge to slide off my chair and smash my skull into the floor. Action scenes look like they were shot inside a paint mixer. If egos were farts, one imagines John Travolta could destroy an entire planet himself by devouring a single frozen burrito. That this film even got made is clearly one testament to that fact, and that they're already planning a sequel is another." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 26, 2002 "I saw Breakfast of Champions today on Comedy Central and must say that movie was very confusing, do you have to be drunk or high to enjoy the movie or what?" That's why it was bad. They totally misrepresented Vonnegut's book. That book is the best I've ever read, but is almost impossible to convert to film, and they did a horrible job of it, even adding stuff in, or taking it out, and it didn't even explain a lot of stuff going on. I was insanely disappointed. Slaughterhouse Five was a MUCH better adaptation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest AlwaysPissedOff Report post Posted June 26, 2002 Bubble Boy. I didn't see it in theaters, but I caught it on DirecTV and it was even worse than I thought it would be. Runner-up would have to be Water World. I fell asleep in the threater after watching it for about 45 minutes and didn't wake up until someone poked me after the movie was over with. I then caught it later on HBO and it was truly pathetic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest IDrinkRatsMilk Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Damn, I've never seen Battlefield Earth, but after the descriptions I've seen here I gotta see if it lives up to it's hype. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted June 27, 2002 hands down the worst theatrical release ever was superstar. they took an snl skit that wasn't funny to begin with and then put it on the big screen for 1 and a half hours, co-starring Will Farrell to. Ohh the horror. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest crandamaniac Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Rollerball. It's the first movie I seen in the theater that I wanted to walk out on or almost went to sleep while watching Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest caboose Report post Posted June 27, 2002 I've only walked out of a cinema during a film once. The film? Batman Forever. My vote for worst movie ever is therefore Batman Forever. I didn't even bother with Batman & Robin, is it worse than BF? All Tim Burton's work in the first two Batmans was destroyed by Joel Schumacher and his piece of shit film. There was only one good thing about the entire film, and that was U2's 'Hold me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me'. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 27, 2002 I totally forgot about that song! (runs to download it) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kingpk Report post Posted June 27, 2002 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer The Best Jennifer Love Hewitt has ever looked aside from Trojan War. That alone disqualifies it for me...and the fact that I saw this shitty film twice in theaters, own it and saw it last week for my amusement. Dames Dude, seriously, BUY HEARTBREAKERS!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Shaved Bear Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Matrix, because it's so overrated Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest areacode212 Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Batman & Robin was much, MUCH worse than Batman Forever. As you said, BF had "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" going for it, as well as Drew Barrymore in a skimpy outfit. And even though he didn't look very convincing as Batman, Kilmer was able to pull off the Wayne role reasonably well. On the other hand, Clooney played the role as a kind of smirking jokester. He had NO clue as how to approach the character. Believe me, I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to actor's interpretations of comic book roles, but he took it way too far. In an interview, he actually described his take on the character as a guy who has gotten over the murder of his parents because he's rich and has lots of cool gadgets. Yes, he actually said that. At least after the movie bombed, Clooney had the balls to say "yeah, the movie sucked, and I accept my part in being responsible for it". Too bad, because physically speaking, he was the most ideal of the 3 actors to play the role. He wasn't even the worst part of the movie. Consider the following: Uma Thurman's vamping, Arnold's horrible one-liners, the "Bat-credit card scene" (according to this movie, Batman carries around a credit card with his logo printed on it...I wonder where the bills are sent to), the "Bat-ice skates" scene (according to this movie, Batman & Robin have retractable ice skates built into their boots), the gratuitous homoerotic spandex BUTT- and crotch-shots of Clooney and O'Donnell as they're getting into costume. All of these things are why I'm voting this WORST MOVIE EVER~! (The Mummy Returns takes 2nd place). What the hell was Schumacher thinking? The sad thing is, Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze are both REALLY GOOD characters, especially the former. With a decent script and director, and a focus on a good story, believable characters and ONE villain (as opposed to cramming in a ton of useless cardboard cut-outs), this could have been a pretty good movie. Can you believe the guy who wrote the screenplay (Akiva Goldsman) actually won an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind?!? Was his script for that movie really that good? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest endgame722 Report post Posted June 27, 2002 I've only walked out of a cinema during a film once. The film? Batman Forever. My vote for worst movie ever is therefore Batman Forever. I didn't even bother with Batman & Robin, is it worse than BF? All Tim Burton's work in the first two Batmans was destroyed by Joel Schumacher and his piece of shit film. There was only one good thing about the entire film, and that was U2's 'Hold me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me'. Batman & Robin is definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The movie killed the Batman franchise and made me never want to see another Arnold Schwarzenegger movie again. Avoid this movie at all costs!! As for myself, the only movie I ever walked out of was Godzilla (1998). I don't even think I lasted an hour but since I saw it at a discount theatre for only $2 I wasn't all that pissed off. On the subject of walking out of movies and franchises being killed, was I the only one here who considered walking out of Star Wars: Episode II? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheDames7 Report post Posted June 27, 2002 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer The Best Jennifer Love Hewitt has ever looked aside from Trojan War. That alone disqualifies it for me...and the fact that I saw this shitty film twice in theaters, own it and saw it last week for my amusement. Dames Dude, seriously, BUY HEARTBREAKERS!! I'm one step ahead of you. I bought it 3 weeks ago. She's losing too much weight in my opinion. She looked BEAUTIFUL in the wedding dress though. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J*ingus Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Caboose, let me put it this way: I actually liked Batman Forever. However, Batman & Robin is SO wretchedly bad that I momentarily considered listing it as the worst big-budget movie of all time instead of Battlefield Earth, but reconsidered at the last minute. Godzilla... ah, I'd blocked the memory of that crapfest. The old Toho flicks were a thousand times better. When Matthew Fucking Broderick is the hero of your action movie, you might just want to stop and think for a moment. Also, it was something like two and a half hours long? Jesus wept. (And so did I.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted June 27, 2002 North. Without a doubt in my mind, the worst movie ever that was a major theatrical release is North. If it was all movies ever, it'd be a tossup between North and Manos Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest razazteca Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Well if the Matix is included as one of the worst movies ever then Star Wars Episode 1 must be included. There are so many things wrong with this movie which was basically a 2 hour commercial for merchandise on a nostigila guilt trip from Lucas Films. 1) Jar Jar Binks as the comical character that nobody like except young children with very impressionable minds, who will begged mommy to buy them a Jar Jar Binks toy.......Meee-sa Wants you-sa to buya star wars toys. 2) Poor casting hurt this movie, giving a 6 year old child the lead role was a big mistake Anikin "I will I ever see you again" Me "VH1! behind the marks special, maybe" 3) Lucas does not know how to direct actors, Lucas maybe a genius on CGI and Stock Motion special effects but when it comes to actors he lacks alot. Throughout the movie nearly all of the actors sounded like mindless robots with monotone voices. 4) The movie looked like a collection of spots rather than a feature film with a strong plot and continunity. Star Wars Episode 1 was basically, Darth Maul fight, Ben Hur chariot race, Princess in kubuki-geisha costumes, Anikin looking cute. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Army Eye Report post Posted June 27, 2002 I didn't even bother with Batman & Robin, is it worse than BF? Somebody already addressed this, but I just have to agree and say that Batman and Robin is MUCH MUCH WORSE!!! areacode summed up the 'why' quite well.. as for Clooney's pitiful portrayal of Batman I would put most of the blame on Schumacher. Unfortunately one of my all-time low points in life can be attributed to B&R. I was with a group of friends, eight people total, we went to the mall on a whim and ended up at the theater. We couldn't really decide on what to see and somehow I talked the whole group into seeing Batman and Robin, even though it wasn't really anybody else's first choice. Ohhh what a horrible mistake. I guess I was hoping for the series' return to glory (Batman 1+2). That sure didn't happen. Man you should've seen the looks they gave me as we exited the theater.... Will Scarlet, I'll never forget the day I saw Battlefield Earth. I went with a couple people and we didn't quite have the same reaction as you guys, we just kind of left the theater in a state of stunned silence. Once we had been in the car for a while and regained our composure we all basically said "WTF WAS THAT????" A few other horrendous movies I have to mention. Godzilla, definitely. I couldn't watch all of it. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, I think somebody said also. And finally Congo, what a piece of garbage this was. I just burst into laughter when Congo was over, and not the good kind of laughter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C.H.U.D. Report post Posted June 27, 2002 It's hard to remember all the crappy stuff I have seen the theatre over the last few years, but the really bad ones that come to mind are: Batman & Robin Queen of the Damned The Mummy Returns and probably the worst of all? The Avengers Pure garbage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JaKyL25 Report post Posted June 27, 2002 HUGE FUCKING PROPS to everyone who felt the need to accurately document just exactly how HORRIBLE Batman & Robin is. Goodness gracious, me oh my what a BAD BAD BAD Movie. BAD. Since the day I saw it in theaters, I knew it was the worst movie I had ever seen, since not only is it horrible like few others as a stand-alone, it also completely ruins a beloved franchise. Whoever got Darren Aronofsky signed on to direct the Batman: Year One is a smart, smart person. Even though he's only made two films so far (Pi and Requiem For a Dream), I can practially GUARANTEE you that anything Darren Aronofsky directs will be AT LEAST 10x better than Batman & Robin. My top three all-time shit movie list looks like this: 1.) Batman & Robin 2.) The Lost World: Jurassic Park 2 3.) Godzilla (1998 American version) As far as The Lost World goes, a preteen girl defeated a pack of raptors with gymnastics. There are other bad things in the movie, but this one is the worst, and I will remember that shit until the day I die. When Jurassic Park 3 is a step UP, you know a movie sucks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Doomsault Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Yeah, too bad the diverted from the more adult oriented audience with the Batman films, the original Batman owned, Batman Returns was pretty good and then when number 3 hit, it was all downhill from there, I stopped watching it as soon as Batman started doing Power Ranger-like kicks on some of Two-faces cronies. Is it just me or does everything glow in the dark in that movie? And am I the only one who actually liked Water World? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JaKyL25 Report post Posted June 27, 2002 North. Without a doubt in my mind, the worst movie ever that was a major theatrical release is North. If it was all movies ever, it'd be a tossup between North and Manos Haven't seen North, but I remember reading about it in Roger Ebert's book I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie. If memory serves, it was actually the inspiration for his title. Truly sounds like crap. And as for Manos: The Hands of Fate, I'll just say this: When you find it hard to sit through an episode of MST3K, simply because the flick is THAT HORRIBLE, you know that it's a contender for worst of all time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Psycho Diablo Report post Posted June 27, 2002 Worst movie ever? Not much touches the hour of crap that is The Animal. -Shiro Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
