Guest massivHEDtrauma Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Ah, I see. In that case I'm going to have to go with a tie between two movies unequaled in their suckitude: Charlie's Angels and Super Mario Brothers. Both were just unwatchable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Zack Malibu Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Spare yourselves the horror that is NURSE BETTY! You figure with Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock in it, there had to be some redeeming quality, right? Wrong! Do not see this atrocity! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big McLargeHuge Report post Posted June 28, 2002 I don't know, I thought the Big Hit was horrible. Couldn't figure out if it was a comedy, action flick or both. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Slingshot Suplex Report post Posted June 28, 2002 I will admit having only seen a couple of movies on the list of choices....but anything with Brendan Fraser is almost guaranteed to suck.(Bedazzled is watchable thanks to Liz Hurley) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RickyChosyu Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Ishtar. Deffinately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hardyz1 Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Maxim's 50 worst movies of all time Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J*ingus Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Wow, another reason to hate Maxim, at least half those films have no business on a "worst ever" list. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Yea - there aren't many good movies on the Maxim list, but quite a few of them deserve better than "Worst of All Time". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Black Lushus Report post Posted June 28, 2002 Maxim's 50 worst movies of all time they said Howard The Duck sucked, that automatically disqualifies their opinions from my mind, that movie owned like no other! 80s MOVIES~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JaKyL25 Report post Posted June 29, 2002 At least they got #1 right. That almost makes me want to forgive them for putting Moulin Rouge on the list. ALMOST. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest 5_moves_of_doom Report post Posted June 29, 2002 Speed 2 sucks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SuperTonyJaymz Report post Posted June 29, 2002 Dont even get me started on the Batman movie. Thats a cold spot for me. I actually liked Godzilla 1998, thats just me though. Anyways worse movie would have to be Battlefield Earh. Just...bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C.H.U.D. Report post Posted June 29, 2002 Maxim is only useful to 23 year old virgins living in their parents basement who think they will get laid by a movie star one day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted June 30, 2002 "Spice World. I only saw it becuse I used to have a BIG crush(and still kinda do) on Baby Spice." Sorry bo, but POSH SPICE~! is my favorite, even though she lopped her hair off and started looking weird. wh00! You're right... I've always loved Posh... she's so... mmmmmm.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 30, 2002 Evenflow, we're getting to be a tad too like each other. Hell, you knew about Murder on the Dancefloor before I told you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted June 30, 2002 Kotzenjunge, you may be right... I mean, I don't really like The Matrix all that much either B) It was an OK movie, but, like all other OK movies that people seem to think are great, was overrated like a mofo. Actually, I was thinking about this today, I think I have seriously damaged my taste in film, as I was thinking about a bunch of movies coming out this summer and I couldn't think of a good thing to say about or a desire to see any of them except Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course and Eight Legged Freaks. For the record and back on topic, though, since I see a LOT of "worst movies ever" and think they're fine, I have my own term... a movie can only truly be bad if I, who can watch ANY movie, fall asleep through it. So, without further ado, here are my humble choices for worst of the worst, many of which have how much I slept through included (note that most of these are fairly recent movies because even though I try and watch a lot of movies, from all decades and genres, I still mainly watch fairly new and horror releases simply because those are what I know about and hear about most often): The Blair Witch Project - Even though I wasn't lucky enough to fall asleep through this one, I was bored to death. Three whiny students bitching to each other and a camera for 90 minutes, and there's not even a real monster? Not to mention the "realism" factor is totally killed by obvious editing and multiple camera angles... can you say WASTE OF TIME? One of the, if not the most overrated movie ever. One of my least favorites. Mission Impossible 2 - I fell asleep through this one within the first 15 minutes, and stayed asleep through the whole thing. That's never happened before with any movie. Ever. Pretty Woman - God... a happy-go-lucky whore becomes a primadonna in love in a story so out of touch with reality it makes fairy tales seem reasonable. I also slept through this one, but after about 70 minutes, so it has something going for it, though I think I just liked how Richard Gere's character was named "Edward" since I'm vain like that. Jeepers Creepers - I wanted to see this because all the previews and reviews I read said that this would mark the revival of horror and was the best thing since sliced bread... what were they smoking? Seriously... this did have a lot going for it for the first half, then just threw it all away to become just another piece of crap '90s horror film. 2001: A Space Travesty - OK, I doubt this made it to theatres in the U.S., but I know it did in Europe. Leslie Nielsen throws away his last shred of credibility in a blatantly unfunny and terribly boring rip-off of Naked Gun set in outer space. There's few things more torturous than a comedy that's just not funny. Bring It On - A movie that can't decide whether it's an unfunny comedy, a sparkless romance, or a tepid drama. Oh, I forgot, I'm a guy, I was only supposed to watch for the cheerleaders Those are my 6 worst that I can remember. As for other terrible terrible movies I've seen, including several mentioned here, they're not so much terrible as guilty as the worst crime a movie can aspire to: being forgettable, and I've thus forgotten them. Say what you will about the movies I listed, but they've made a permanent impression that I'll never forget, even if it's for being SO bad they leave a permanent bad taste in my mouth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Slingshot Suplex Report post Posted June 30, 2002 Jeepers Creepers - I wanted to see this because all the previews and reviews I read said that this would mark the revival of horror and was the best thing since sliced bread... what were they smoking? Seriously... this did have a lot going for it for the first half, then just threw it all away to become just another piece of crap '90s horror film. My thoughts exactly.....I try not to buy a movie unless I've seen it (and liked it) first but the video store had buy 2 used dvds get 1 free.Well,I wanted Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and for about $10 more I could get 2 fairly new released dvds....ok fine. The most notable choices in the limited selection were Original Sin (ok movie...Jolie is always a welcome topless sight) Joy Ride (also unseen) and Jeepers Creepers,which had all this hype about the beginning and the end and blah blah blah.Joy Ride turned out pretty good but Jeepers blew after the first half hour/45 minutes or so.It became some bad Stephen King movie like the Langoliers....good first half/crap second half. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mr. Slim Citrus Report post Posted June 30, 2002 Mr. Deeds. First movie I've ever walked out on. A co-worker told me that I probably walked out on the best part so, like an idiot, I went with him to see it again (he paid, of course). I was so pissed at him for making me sit through that dreck again, that I gave him an atomic wedgie, and threw him in the ocean. Mr. Deeds = Worst. Movie. EVER! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheDames7 Report post Posted June 30, 2002 I saw Mr. Deeds, it was much better than I expected. The butler definitely stole every scene he was in and when did Winona's breasts grow to WWE proportions??? Jeepers Creepers started out great....then it became every other horror movie...then the ending happened and everyone straight up booed the screen. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Hijo Del Lunatic Report post Posted June 30, 2002 Pretty Woman - God... a happy-go-lucky whore becomes a primadonna in love in a story so out of touch with reality it makes fairy tales seem reasonable. I also slept through this one, but after about 70 minutes, so it has something going for it, though I think I just liked how Richard Gere's character was named "Edward" since I'm vain like that. Yeah, it dragged, but it wasn't TERRIBLE. I'm not saying it was a good movie by any means, but it was certainly more palatable than some of the other stuff on this list. Wow, another reason to hate Maxim, at least half those films have no business on a "worst ever" list. Yeah, some of them aren't BAD films, they're just ... chick flicks. Steel Magnolias is nowhere on the same level of suckitude that Batman and Robin was, but THERE IT IS at number two. And it's not like Dirty Dancing isn't GUARANTEED to get you laid on a first date. Some of the reasons that they give for movies sucking are laughable too, like complaining that Roger Moore was too old to be James Bond for A View to a Kill. Guys, Pierce Brosnan's 50. My favorite, though, is that the Maxim editors didn't like Dune because "it is not possible to grow enough marijuana for this movie to make even the slightest bit of sense". Really, a David Lynch movie that was hard to follow? I'M SHOCKED AND APPALLED! Dumbasses. I thought the Big Hit was horrible. Couldn't figure out if it was a comedy, action flick or both. It was neither ... or both, because the action scenes were laughable, and the comedy scenes fell flat. Oh, it was funny, just not when it was supposed to be. LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS + EBONICS = BOX OFFICE BONANZA! Though the Asian chick in that movie is HOTT. Ah, I see. In that case I'm going to have to go with a tie between two movies unequaled in their suckitude: Charlie's Angels and Super Mario Brothers. Both were just unwatchable. [/b] Add Super Mario Brothers to the list of movies saved by Dennis Hopper, please. He was Kuh-reepy as King Koopa. so nobody here likes the SNL cast movies? I actually LOVE a good deal of them, but I've gotta be in the right mood for them. Most people's gripes with those movies is that they're TOTALLY vacuous, and they are; but if you're going to an SNL movie to learn something about yourself, learn that you're an uptight jackass. I mean, really, what do you expect? Of course, they're not the SCTV movies, but it's hard to be as good as movies like Ghostbusters and Stripes. Go see ANYTHING Harold Ramis has touched like, yesterday. The true definition of a movie that sucks, of course, is a movie that totally, utterly disappoints its audience. For example, I think that Double Jeopardy is the worst piece of trash I've ever seen. And it wasn't a terrible movie, either. It just absolutely disappointed me. It took a really cool idea for a movie and totally watered it down with a horrible script, terrible acting (Ashley Judd's range of emotion - stoic to downright Vulcan), and ... oh, I can't even describe how bad it is. I can recognize that it's not the most amateurish piece of film ever assembled, but it was, in my opinion, an overhyped piece of shit that made me feel sorry for myself because I got fired up over seeing it. THAT's what makes a bad film. Waterworld sucks ass because it had a HUGE budget and was touted as the second coming of Christ, but fell FAR short. Batman and Robin is atrocious because it doesn't even come CLOSE to meeting the standard set by the first two. I mean, I know Batman Forever wasn't great, but Batman and Robin made that look like Citizen Kane. And while Blair Witch Project wasn't a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, it was different, and it was interesting, and it was better than it probably had any right to be. Rant over. LUNATIC - Pimpin' ho's and clockin' a grip like my name was Dolemite. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Hogan Made Wrestling Report post Posted July 1, 2002 3 words: Freddy Got Fingered Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest razazteca Report post Posted July 1, 2002 SCTV movies???? Strange Brew is by far the best while anything with Rick Moranis or Martin Short recently has been direct to video material. Especially that movie with Martin Short as a kid, or the one with Danny Glover in that unlucky movie. 3 more words: Jackass The Movie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest undisputedjericho Report post Posted July 1, 2002 No way! Freddy Got Fingered is the best movie ever. I saw it opening night with two friends and I DIDN'T STOP LAUGHING THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING. I bought the DVD quickly after it came out, too. (And no, I'm not a stoner) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted July 1, 2002 There's few things more torturous than a comedy that's just not funny. Tell that to whoever the hell decided Ghost World and Wonderboys were comedies... Worst. Four. Hours. EVER. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted July 1, 2002 Jeffery Ross read Roger Ebert's absolutely scathing North review at Rob Reiner's Friar's roast. That was comedy and also proof that the existence of North is not completely without redeeming aspects. I really think Dude, Where's My Car? was the worst thing I've ever sat through. It knew it was stupid, yes, but that didn't help me any. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edwin MacPhisto Report post Posted July 1, 2002 In terms of recent film, I'd have to go with Not Another Teen Movie. A friend of mine rented it because he thought we needed some ritual punishment. It fit the bill quite well. Actually, strike that. That had Randy Quaid, who's always kind of great in an awful way. The worst movie I have seen in a theater in the past few years would have to be Baby Geniuses. I'm usually not one for killing children, but I seriously wanted to toss my little cousin through three plate glass windows after having to sit through that abominable shit for the sake of his amusement. Next time I'm just tying the kid to a chair and renting Commando again... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted July 1, 2002 The only reason I didn't say "Not Another Teen Movie" is because the American Beauty guy cracked me up, which is more than I can say for the two I mentioned above. Without him, NATM was a god-awful attempt at a spoof. Boobs and toilet-humor do not a good parody make. *goes to rent Spy Hard, a REAL spoof* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C.H.U.D. Report post Posted July 1, 2002 Freddy Got Fingered rules! While jerking off a horse: "Look at me daddy, I'm a farmer!". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted July 1, 2002 Jeepers Creepers started out great....then it became every other horror movie...then the ending happened and everyone straight up booed the screen. The main problem I had with Jeepers Creepers' ending was that a big portion of the hype about the film was that the ending would be a shocker, which meant that it wouldn't be a traditional happy ending, which made it obvious from the start what the ending would be. I think the lesson in Jeepers Creepers is the same taught by Chuck D... "Don't Believe the Hype"! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest undisputedjericho Report post Posted July 2, 2002 "Fuck your daddy, fuck your daddy, fuck your daddy!" "I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor! AHhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!!!" "Don't you wanna enjoy the fruits of your labor? Here. Enjoy the fruits." "Stop sayin' fruits." "Hooooooly shit! Somebody get him a job! Wait...you get a job, get him an ambulance!" "Dude, have you seen that girl out there?" "No, I haven't exactly had a chance to walk around you know." "Well, something really strange happened. I asked her out on a date, and, um, she said yes." "That is wierd." "There's one problem though. Uhh, I thought she could walk." "So you hate the handicapped?" "No, that's not what I'm saying" "I think it's very clear what you're saying." Among SEVERAL more quotes that would take me far too long to type, and I don't have the whole script here to re-write for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
