The Agent of Oblivion question of the day

[tominator89 0]

I got nice and trashed on a Sunday night and don't remember much about it other that my friend's girlfriend wanting to sleep with me. Monday morning I got up bright and early for jury duty. I was hungover and actually got selected to serve on a trial.

[migoli 0]

We had a bunch of people over once and I remember doing rolling thunder to folding chairs, not any person though. I was on a wrestling rampage that night. Remember going in the bath tub and having friends toss me beers so I could do that Austin beer slamming chug. Tore a few T shirt Hogan style. Got the room to chant "E-C-Dub E-C-Dub" through most of this too.

 

Another night I barely remember walking a mile or 2 to a club but I do recall dumping drinks over the second floor railing onto people on the first floor. Wrapped the night up with a rather heated argument with some guy from Wisconsin over Joe Mauer while in a Burger King. Damn Brewer fans!

 

Then there was the night my friend warned me hours before that his girlfriend had a lesbian friend that looks like a dude. Well after slamming all that Monster and Vodka I had NO chance of remembering that. Called her "man" or my somewhat famous favorite drunken name for friends" My dude dude". Then I was told I almost got into a fist fight with my friends girlfriends Mexican neighbors because I stumbled into their yard and was hitting on one of the girls or at least trying to. Woke up in the yards with my back pocket completely ripped out. Funny story is I see this boyish lesbian fairly often now and I've come to the conclusion I need to keep up with calling any girl "man" or "dude" a few times when the lesbian is around. Shes cool though because she always lets me hit the blunt they always have going.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

I've had alot of drunken crazy nights, sooo many I could share and you guys would be like, "what the fuck?". Hell I could make a movie on all the stories I have, but if I had to narrow it down to just a single story, it would be this one:

 

This one night last year me and 2 other friends, we'll call them Rob and Will, were drinking at the bar. We got completely shitfaced, we must've drank 12 jugs of beer between the 3 of us, as well as a lot of jagerbombs. It got so bad that waitresses cut us off, so we ended up leaving the bar, so we called a cab. Anyway we went into the parking lot, and a huge brawl broke out between group of east indians and asian guys. So me and Will decided to get into the cab as soon as we can, while my dumbass friend Rob was stumbling around the parking lot watching them brawl. We knew the cops were going to be there any miniute and I didn't want to deal with the cops when I was that drunk because I knew I was going to say something stupid to them and most likely go to the drunk tank. So I get into the cab and as we got in I saw some Native-American guy in the front byside the cab, we arranged to split the cab with him, so I yelled to rob to get in the cab. Rob looks at me with this strange look and said, "I'm not going into the cab unless... I SIT IN THE MIDDLE!" So I was like whatever, I get out and he gets into the middle and we drive off.

 

Then my friend Rob looks at the cab driver, "you're taking me where I wanna go!", and then looks at the Native-American guy, "AND YOU'RE FUCKING PAYING FOR IT!". The cab driver pulls over, and says "What are you talking about? Get out of my cab right now!". Then all of the sudden my friend grabs the cab driver and starts shaking him, "TAKE ME WHERE I WANNA GO RIGHT NOW, BEFORE I BUST MY GAT ON YOU!" Me and Will both looked and each other and looked at Rob, because we knew he didn't have a gun. Rob is problay the biggest teddy bear there is, he's a big fat guy but he's not a fighter at all. I've kicked his ass numerous times, but whatever. Then Rob looks at me and Will and gives us a silent siginal. So me and Will both decided to shut up, and not say anything because I was drunk and wanted to see where this was going for my own amusement.

 

Anyway the cab driver was scared shitless and drove off. Rob ends up taking us to the Cecil Hotel. Posters who are from Calgary like Captain of Outer Space, and Zetteberg is God can vouch for me when I say you don't want to be hanging out at the Cecil Hotel in Downtown, Calgary. It's basically the drugspot where it is filled with drug dealers and crackheads. So anyway we get there and me and my friends get out and the Native guy stays in the cab. My friend rob gets out, and slams the door and yells, "Fuck you, you stupid cabbie!" then boots in a huge dent in his door. The cab says "That's it! I'm calling the cops! You threatend my life, you booted a dent in my door!", and Rob think's he's all gangsta, says, "I don't give a fuck you punk ass bitch! Call the cops!" Just as he said that, this huge black crack dealer who was atleast 6'10", he looked like fucking Shaq with my beer googles on walks up to Rob and says, "BRINGING HEAT TO MY TURF DAWG?" Rob turns around and the crack dealer knocks Rob right on his ass with a single punch. I won't lie, I was laughing because Rob deserved that shit. But then the crack dealer whistles, and just then 20 guys come rushing towards Rob, and they start stomping him. Then my and Will grabbed Rob by his shirt out of the pile of the guys beating him up and told him to run.

 

So anyway Rob finally got out and started running, then me and Will caught up. The 1st thing Rob says to me and Will, "OH I COULD'VE TOOK THEM ALL!" Then pounds his fist into his palm, I just started shaking my head. Anyway we ended up catching another cab so we can go to Rob's house pass out. So we get into the cab, the 1st thing Rob says, "If you can take me to my house in 10 mins, I'll pay you $10,000!!!!!!!" So the cab starts speeding but he never reached the house in 10 mins, I was actually timing it, it was more like 17. So we got off at Robs house and Will paid for the cab and didn't tip the cab driver. So the cab driver rolls down his window and says, "Hey where's my tip?" then Rob looks at him, and says "THE ONLY TIP YOU'LL BE GETTING, IS THE TIP OF MY DICK!" And thats how the eventful night ended.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

I'll let Baron answer for me.

 

For a long time, one of my proudest moments was getting kicked out of the peelers for just being 'too drunk'. No groping, no fighting, just 'too drunk'.

 

Come to think of it, for all the days and bars I've been plastered in, I've stayed out of trouble for the most part.

[King Kamala 0]

Well, my most notable drunken incident happened about five months ago when during a friend's birthday party in my college's "party dorm" common room. I got really shitty drunk on some awful, cheap red wine (not quite bum wine but only like a half step up) and Taaka vodka. Long story short, after setting off some fireworks on the library lawn...me and the birthday boy decide to break all of the furniture in the common room (along with a makeshift bong that was sitting out there). Now here's where my memory gets a bit foggy and I'm relying on some firsthand accounts of my jackassery for the rest of the story.

 

Needless to say, they decide to throw us our asses out of the dorm. Shockingly, there were no further repercussions. Got to love hippies. Anyways, I somehow end up laying on the library lawn, yelling "HELP! HELP! I'M TOO DRUNK TO GET UP" and miraculously, some friends happen to be driving by and they help me back to my dorm. But not before having to wrestle the aformentioned wine bottle out of my hands. Well, I notice that they're wearing almost identical flannel shirts and I start calling them a lesbian couple and yell "LESBIANS! LESBIANS! LESBIANS!" over and over again. We make it back to my room and lo and behold, my roomie and his parents are there. I apologize to them profusely for my drunken jackassery before my R.A. steps in and wisely decides to move me to the dorm's common room for the night. Well, then long story, short, I "escaped" for a time and ended up walking around the dining hall shirtless and with no shoes and socks on, vomitting all over the place.

 

That last part wasn't so fun...I haven't drank wine since pretty much.