Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2009 The Last Kings of Scotland, wearing leather jackets and blue and white kilts, march ringside under dark blue and white lights to the tune of “Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends. OAOAST Marks along the aisle and front row on high alert as Scottish Scott wildly swings his spiked club. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Europe’s finest athletes, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The proud Scotsman raises his club with one hand and pounds his chest with the other while his partner sings "Danny Boy". COLE Oh, brother. COACH No, it’s “Oh Danny Boy,” you idiot. COLE I’m referring to Danny Boy’s singing, or what he calls singing. Thankfully our ears are spared further torture as “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down hits. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Peoria, Illinois, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS! Collectively they are CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Needless to say, Baron Windels and Tim Cash do a lot of hand slapping on their jog down the aisle. COLE We’re about set to go with a strange one. I say that because the Last Kings of Scotland claim Citizen Soldiers stuck their nose where it didn’t belong one week ago in their match against the Orange County Cobras. COACH Well they’ve got a point. It got them disqualified. COLE Yes, they lost by DQ, but it was because of V.I.C.E. And thanks to them Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard have been put on the shelf. COACH They can use the break, like say forever! Off comes both team’s respective entrance attire and the bell sounds. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels receives a quick high-five from Tim Cash as Scottish Scott places his club in the LKOS corner, but it‘s Danny Boy who‘ll start for his team. That out of the way the two lockup and the Lone Star Gunslinger is easily able to execute a body slam, and then another. Danny rushes to his feet and into a BIG BOOT that knocks him backwards! COLE Danny Boy wandering around like he’s had a few too many after that one. COACH Oh yeah, because all Irishman are drunks, right? You probably think I like watermelon and fried chicken too. Well I do. But you’re racist for thinking it! Dazed and confused Danny Boy tags out. And his replacement Scottish Scott wants Tim Cash and gets him. Of course Timmy offers to shake hands. Scott thinks it over, spits on the palm of his hand and then goes through with the handshake. TIM That wasn’t very nice. SCOTTISH SCOTT You know what else isn’t nice? Apparently a kick to the gut, that‘s what. The fighting Scotsman clubs Tim across the shoulders and shoots him off. Cash ducks a clothesline and scores with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! Scott tumbles outside while oh Danny Boy comes in to pickup the load, but gets thrown like a sack of potatoes by a hip toss. The Irishman finds himself in the wrong side of town and Baron Windels unloads with a Cowboy Bebop (bionic) elbow! COACH Come on, referee. Do your job. It’s 2 on 1. Tim arm drags Danny Boy back where he came from, and then dropkicks him over the top rope. But when he goes to bring Scottish Scott back in he takes a SPIKED CLUB to the face! COLE Can you believe that?! COACH Accidents happen. It’s not Scotty’s fault Tim Cash is so clumsy he fell into a spiked club. Unfortunately Baron Windels didn’t see Tim get clubbed, only him falling back. Shocked he’s slow to react as Tim, now busted open, is covered. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Baron dives on Scottish Scott but is obviously too late. BUFFER Here are your winners… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Last Kings immediately seek higher ground, hands raised in victory thanks to Scottish Scott’s spiked club which he proudly displays for all to see. Baron Windels left kneeling over his fallen partner. COACH A hard earned win for the Last Kings of Scotland. COLE Hard earned win? They stole one! COACH Quit being a sore loser, Cole. Citizen Soldiers lost. Accept it. COLE I promise you there’ll be hell to pay if these two teams ever meet up again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
