Promo: The Most Dangerous Game

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

*tap**tap**tap*

 

Time to play the Game...

 

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

 

It's all about the Game

And how you play it.

All about control

And if you can take it.

All about the debt

And if you can pay it.

It's all about pain

And who's gonna make it.

 

I am the Game

You don't wanna play me.

I am control.

No way you can shake me.

I am heavy debt.

No way you can pay me.

I am the pain

And I know you can't take me.

 

Look over your shoulder.

Ready to run?

Like a poison pitch

From a smoking gun.

I am the Game

And I make the rules.

So move on out

Or you can die like a fool.

 

Try to figure out

What my move's gonna be.

C'mon over, sucker,

Why don't you ask me?

Don't you forget

There's a price you can pay?

Cuz' I am the Game and I want to play...

 

"The Game", Motorhead

 

----

The shot switches to a darkened room. There is a man sitting in a chair, a box, a brown box at his feet. His face is blanketed in darkness. Slowly, his head rises up, revealing the face of Ash Ketchum. His face is not one of pleasure and ahhpiness, but one of anger. He suddenly, peeers above the camera, to the man behind the magic, Gus.

 

Ash: Move in closer. (Gus wiggles his fat ass up a bit. Not much change.) Closer, closer, closer... (Gus inches a bit closer with each command, but he picture still looks the same.) CLOSER! (Gus runs forward, runnign up to Ash's face and holding the camera up to it. Now all we can see is one of Ash's eyes and the surrounding facial area.) Back up, you dumbf*ck.

 

Gus backs up from Ash to a distance of where the shot contains his whole upperbody and head. Ash's hands are folded in. He is sitting, staring a hole into the camera. And then, he speaks.

 

Ash: Tick tock... tick tock... do you hear that, Stryke? That's the clock ticking down. But it's not counting down to what you think it is, oh no. Not the end of your title reign, though you can think that. But it is counting down to our match, OUR match at Snake Eyes. In Pittsubrgh... the place where two small rivers meet into one might river... and the place where two athletes will meet into one gigantic match.

 

Ash pauses and reaches down, grasping the box in his hands, and with a grunt, he lifts it onto his lap.

 

Ash: This is no simple box... no no... it is... "THE BOX!" (Dramatic music cues up as Ash stares into the camera before returning to his normal position.) Inside "THE BOX! *dramatic music flare-up* is a surprise for the whole world to see. Because inside "THE BOX!" *more dramatic music* is a secret. It could be a bat, it could be a Playboy, it could be a small gun, it could be an embarassing picture of Stubby at the SWF Christmas Party! But you won't find out just yet what's in... "THE BOX!" *more dramatic music again as Ash turns to face Gus* Would you like to see my secret, Gus?

 

Gus: I guess...

 

Ash begins to open the box in Gus' direction, but before he can see a thing, Ash slams it shut, laughing at the cameraman. Gus is freaked out and nearly pisses his pants as Ash stops laughing.

 

Ash: Wait, Gus. Wait until our match. Then, and only then, Stryke will know what the surprise is. You will know. The whole world will know what's in... "THE BOX"! *dramatic music again as Ash puts "THE BOX"! down.* But back to my match. True hardcore matches are brutal, and often they will injure a man badly enough to shelve him for months. But after this Sunday... "hardcore" will have a whole new meaning. I mean, not ECW hardcore style, no... a bigger, brutal hardcore style... SWF Hardcore.

 

Ash pauses, looks down for a second at the ground, head bowed as he begins to speak, shaodws covering his face, giving him a sinister look.

 

Ash: Ya know... I think Lemmy Kilmister puts it best:

 

Try to figure out

What my move's gonna be.

C'mon over, sucker,

Why don't you ask me?

Don't you forget

There's a price you can pay?

Cuz' I am the Game and I want to play...

 

Fade to black...

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

I don't know, Ash...I'm just not digging it for some reason. I love your take on Hardcore still, and the way you're handling this feud since your Aussie counterpart is lazy, but my boy Stryke's gonna light you up Sunday.

 

Sorry, thats just the way it is.

 

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

[Guest ErekT2k]

OMGZ!!! THE BOX IS HERE!!!

 

Good promo Ash.

[Guest chirs3]

Wow.

 

I thought it was kinda short, but damn if it doesn't make me wanna read the match even more now.

 

Damn j00!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

For the first time ever, we don't have a mystery man angle: we have a mystery box angle.

 

Minus points for using a shitty Motorhead song, bonus points for aforementioned Mystery Box.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

sorry about the shitty song and shortness of the promo, but I wanted to do something about "THE BOX!"

 

And besides, I really wanna save my super-good stuff for after Snake Eyes.

[Guest ErekT2k]

I'm just posting because I like to marvel at my new subtitle.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Get off my lawn, Taylor.

[Guest -Cutthroat-]

*Cutthroat stands on the lawn*

[Guest ErekT2k]

*can't actually get off OC's lawn because he's hovering over it*

 

Haha, the joke's on you!

 

*points out that Cutthroat is standing still*

 

*hands OC an Uzi, shotgun, and a rifle*

[Guest HVilleThugg]

*knocks that jobber Cutthroat off Outcast's lawn*

 

He said get off his lawn bitch!

 

THE BOX!!

 

What's in the box?!?

 

I know I'll definitely read this match now...oh....wait...I'm marking it?? Well, I would have read it anyway.

 

Da "Ash Mark" H

[Guest hhh6294]

*~* Jake tramples Outcast's flower beds once again *~*

 

what electric fence?

[Guest -Cutthroat-]

Cutthroat places Johnny Generic on OC's lawn. Johnny is INVINCEABLE!!

[Guest midnight_burn]

Oooh, a box? You'll need more than a box to beat me after i ram the box up your ass at the PPV.

 

As for the promo, i liked it. Perhaps i should write a promo? Nah, being lazy is so much better.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Listen, bitches... get the hell off my lawn... and I mean it.

 

Thugg WILL crush you if you don't.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Outcast, I'm pretty sure you've doubled your posts here over the last 24 hours.

 

But hey, at least these promos are HOT TOPICS!

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

I've doubled my posts +11 more.

[Guest Thoth]

Inside THE BOX, there is a smaller and different colored BOX.

 

If you disagree, it's bus time.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Hmmm...

 

...I've heard the box is where babies come from.

 

Mothernature says, where'd you hear that?"

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Jeez, you go away for a few weeks, and Pokeboy is running around with a mystery box. I'm so upset I've been missing this angle.

 

BTW, THREE rivers merge in Pittsburgh, not two, I believe. That's why it was called THREE Rivers Stadium.

[Guest midnight_burn]

Damn Ash and his damn box, can't let him win.

 

:: Back to furiously typing ::

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Jeez, you go away for a few weeks, and Pokeboy is running around with a mystery box. I'm so upset I've been missing this angle.

 

BTW, THREE rivers merge in Pittsburgh, not two, I believe. That's why it was called THREE Rivers Stadium.

Well, in a sense, yeah, it's three.

 

But if you look at in a geographical way, two rivers (The Allegheny and Monogahela) merge to form one (The Ohio River.)

 

So either way is right... in a sense.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Ash... you're wrong.

 

Even if they merge, it's still three rivers. Trust me.

 

Step off.