King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted May 1, 2009 The crowd rise to their feet as the intro to "Like The Angel" hits. As the lyrics kick in the twin Nerdly brothers run out and nail a leaping high-five, setting off a pair of pyrotechnic rockets, one orange and one blue. The twin brothers then make their way down the aisle full of energy as ever. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Weighing one hundred, eighty five pounds... he is one half of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS... MMAAAAAARRRRRRRVVV!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV slides into the ring and leaps to the turnbuckles to encourage the crowd, MEL taking a slightly less energetic journey to the turnbuckles across the ring to join him. COLE Two weeks ago MEL was victorious in singles action against Synth, tonight it's the respective tag team partners in one on one action. And The Christ Air Express still fighting for the honour of their friend Jamie O'Hara, who was once again disrespected this past weekend by The Heavenly Rockers on our sister program Syndicated. [QUOTE=OAOAST Syndicated, 4/27]The OAOAST honored one its greats on Syndicated with a “Jersey Retiring” of Jamie O’Hara's jersey hosted by The Heavenly Rockers, Holly, and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. O’Hara’s favorite New York Knicks jersey, “stained with the years of tears cried after painful loss after painful loss as well as the knowledge he’ll never touch a woman without paying her” so said Logan, was raised into the rafters. Unfortunately it wasn’t hooked properly and feel back down the ground. “Just like O’Hara career, a flop!” Logan said to laughter from his gang. On hand to give the ceremonial speech was Tony Tourettes. The highlights of Tony’s speech were when he compared watching O’Hara to having a live chicken crammed into his urethra, and when he noted O’Hara was at home choking on Joe Biden’s morning shit.[/QUOTE] Watching the footage on the AngleTron, MARV and Mel shake their heads. They're no happier to hear the intro to "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana, met by a chorus of boos by the crowd. With a cheshire cat grin on his face Logan Mann emerges first through the entrance with wife Holly on his arm, doing a triumphant 360 spin on the stage. Behind him follow Abdullah and Synth in solemn dignity. BUFFER And his opponent is accompanied to the ring by members of "the only rock n'wrestling band that matters", THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! From Las Vegas, Nevada... weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds... he is "THE [b]MACHO[/b] MACHO MANN"... LLLLLOOOOOOOOOOGGAAAAAAANN... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Logan unzips his leather jacket, revealing why it looked such an odd-fit, with a New York Knicks jersey lying underneath. COLE Oh come on! COACH What? It's a throwback, people wear them to honour former greats who've disappeared into obscurity. It's a trend, you wouldn't get it. Once the leather jacket is off we see that sure enough, it's the same jersey that was "retired" by The Heavenly Rockers, with 'O'HARA' on the back and the fitting number "00" on the back, because he's a "real zero". MARV scowls at this show of disrespect and can't wait for the bell to ring. *DINGDINGDING!* With the match underway, Logan wisely loses the Knicks jersey, throwing it to a lucky fan in the crowd. Except that lucky fan happens to employed by the company and doing commentary. COACH Wow! What an honour! LOGAN You're welcome kid. Logan and MARV circle and lock up, with Logan grabbing a headlock. Meanwhile we get a shot of Coach admiring the jersey. COACH Oh, this is perfect! My car's needed to be washed for days now, this'll do great! COLE Your ca... come on Coach! You're as bad as they are! In the ring Logan gets shot off the ropes and comes back with a big shoulder tackle to knock MARV down. With a cry of "THANK YOU ORLANDOOoooo!" Logan comes off the ropes again, going up and over MARV. Leapfrog by MARV is navigated by Logan as well, but as he comes back off the ropes MARV surprises him with a quick hurricanrana takeover! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Rolling to his feet Logan runs right into an armdrag, which MARV hangs onto for an armbar. Before Logan can settle, that then turns into a quick crucifix, pulling Logan down onto his shoulders... 1... 2... No! Back up Logan regains control with a side headlock, but gets shot off to the ropes again. MARV drops down and wise to this, Logan puts on the brakes once he's safely over, pointing to his head. When Logan reaches down to pick MARV up though, the Canadian surprises him by flipping over and dragging him to the mat by the arm. COLE Woah! MARV, so quick! Rolling to his feet Logan moves away from the ropes, into a dropkick that sends him spilling back through them to the outside! COLE And Logan unable to keep up with it, to the outside and MARV is rolling! MARV plays to the crowd leaving The Heavenly Rockers' lead vocalist frustrated on the floor. Abdullah tries to calm him down with some spiritual wisdom, which Logan has no time for, shrugging Abdullah off and climbing back to the apron. Seconds later, he's back down as MARV dropkicks his legs away, causing Logan to smack face-first into the apron! Grabbing the top rope MARV follows up with another dropkick, through the ropes this time and landing one foot to the face of both Logan and Abdullah, who crash back into the barricade!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Leaning out of the ring, MARV gets a leaping high-five from MEL, while Synth and Holly run to the aid of their men. COACH How can these people cheer for spousal abuse like that!? COLE Spousal abuse is between a husband and wife you jackass! COACH Well brother on brother stuff. I don't know the correct term, I just know it ain't right! Mann is picked up with some help from Synth and frustrates as he is, wisely slows things down. Taking his time getting back in he insists on MARV being backed up first. "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" Back inside Logan and MARV go to lock up, not what Logan has in mind as he ducks low and backs MARV into a corner. MARV manages to shift himself around so that Logan's back is against the corner. Making the mistake of thinking he's avoided danger MARV gives a clean break and pays for it, Logan catching him with a boot to the gut. The fans jeer Logan's cheap tactics as he delivers right hands in the corner, then stomps MARV down into the turnbuckles until the referee pulls him away. COLE Logan a wily veteran, safe to say he knows all the tricks of the trade. Brought out of the corner, MARV is whipped to the ropes. Burying a right hand into the midsection, Logan doubles MARV up and sets up a running kneelift. Cover... 1... 2... No! Logan picks MARV back up and delivers a back suplex. Confident again The MACHO Macho Mann then shows off his biceps to howls of derision. COACH Wrestling show, rock show, gun show, Logan can do it all baby! When he doesn't get the reaction he wants, Logan skids past the referee and blatantly choking MARV. Breaking on three he stands up and rakes the flat of his boot across MARV's face, before trying the bicep pose again. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Those guns are loaded too. Logan still doesn't get a good reception, of course, but he's made his point. Backing off the ropes he plants a boot in the back of MARV's head as he tries to get up, then pins him down... 1... 2... Kickout. Standing back, Logan allows MARV to get back to his feet, stalking behind him. Once up MARV is caught in a sleeper by Logan! Laughing confidently Logan pulls back. After walking in search of the ropes a few paces MARV suddenly feels the effects and sinks down to one knee. ABDULLAH Pleasant dreams, demon seed! COLE Demon seed? What sort of a thing is that to call your adopted brother? COACH I once knew a kid in school called demon seed. COLE Really? COACH Well... Stephen Reed, but that's close, right? I'm contributing, yes? COLE You're an idiot. Spurred on by the crowd and the support of his brother... the real one, not the adopted one... MARV starts to try and fight. He clenches his fists and rallies up the crowd before standing back up from one knee. Just as the crowd start getting some encouragement though, Logan reacts by RAKING THE EYES, then pulling MARV back into the sleeper and back down to a knee. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Logan tightens his grip and MARV's arms begin to sway a little, so the referee steps in to check him. Seeing few signs of consciousness he picks up MARV's right arm... and lets it fall. COLE That's one and MARV may be going out here. Two more and the referee will call this one. Nodding his approval Logan watches as MARV's arm is raised again... and falls again. COACH Looks like MARV is coming down off that high. Abdullah prematurely praises the heavens for their assistance in MARV's demise... ...but the arm doesn't drop the third time and the fans stomp their feet! COLE No! MARV is still in it! Cursing his luck Logan shakes his head as MARV picks himself back up and fires off some elbows. MARV breaks the sleeper and quickly comes off the ropes with a diving clothesline! Bouncing back up, Logan is knocked down with a second diving clothesline! And then a third and MARV is all fired up~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" MARV waits for Logan to pick himself up, which he does in a corner. Charging in, MARV gets caught with an elbow though and just that quickly the fire has burnt out. Logan stumbles out of the corner and pushes MARV into the ropes, catching him side-on... NO! MARV flips out of the attempted sideslam, knocking Logan down with a back elbow. Leaping over Logan's body MARV then hits a STANDING MOONSAULT!! 1... 2... NO! COLE The pace has quickened and it's MARV who's dictating it. He's lighting this crowd up like... well, you get where I'm going with that. COACH I also knew a girl called Mary Jo Anna. COLE No you didn't. MARV waits for Logan to get up, burying a boot to the gut and hooking him up looking for the Acid Drop. He runs for the corner and scales the turnbuckles... but Logan gets in underneath MARV, flipping him up and over. MARV lands on his feet and runs in TO A WICKED LEFT JAB~! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That devestating left hand! Stacking MARV on his shoulders Logan looks around with shifty eyes... 1... ...and when the time is right, PUTS HIS FEET ON THE MIDDLE ROPE... 2... ...BUT MEL JUMPS TO THE APRON AND PUSHES LOGAN'S FEET OFF!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hey, what's that all about!? COLE MEL trying to prevent an injustice going down. Logan fumes at MEL and demands the referee take action. Which allows Synth to sneak into the ring and drag MARV up, hooking his arms behind his back while Abdullah climbs to the apron clutching the holy book! Synth drags MARV up and holds him for Abdullah to lower the boom... A MISTIMED BOOM, NAILING SYNTH WITH THE BOOK INSTEAD!! COACH OH NO! COLE He just threw the book at him! Freaking out, Abdullah is clocked too, with a right hand by MARV! Seeing trouble Logan charges with the double axehandle loaded, but MARV ducks underneath. Logan stops himself short of the ropes but when he turns around, MARV is waiting with the JAWJACKER!!! Stunned but still on his feet, Logan is then hooked up for the ACID DROP, MARV stacking Logan into a tight pin... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The Christ Air Express do it again, they've swept The Heavenly Rockers 2-0! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winner of the match is MMMAAAAAARRRRVVVV!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rolling out of the ring before Synth or Abdullah can get to him MARV joins up with MEL for a celebratory jumping high-five! Stood over the beaten MACHO Macho Mann, Abdullah is seething and curses away in his native tongue like a madman. MARV and MEL are cool with it though and just laugh it up at their adopted brothers' expense. COLE Maybe Logan and Synth should think twice next time they decide to make fun of somebody for being a loser! Because it's all going to sound a little hollow next time, knowing they've both fallen to Jamie O'Hara best-brahs in singles competition in the space of two weeks. COACH Everybody gets lucky Michael. And it turns out, twins share luck as well. This doesn't change anything! COLE Well it might teach these four a little humility, although I wouldn't bet on it. Holly tends to Logan as Synth attempts to stop Abdullah's ranting and raving, stomping his feet like he's a six year old having a temper tantrum. All smiles MARV and MEL salute the crowd. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
