King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2009 I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! "Womanizer" kicks in and through the impressive golden shower of pyro emerge the most x-rated couple in professional wrestling today, Malaysia Nerdly and of course Mister Dick. As well as the golden sparks, boos rain down on Mister Dick as he takes off his glittering white cowboy hat and holds it underneath himself and Malaysia to catch any of the stray spit they start swapping. For good measure he hocks a big loogie into the hat, which Malaysia places her face inside seconds later. COLE Ew. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas... weighing two hundred, thirty eight pounds. Accompanied to the ring by MALAYSIA NERDLY and representing The Deadly Alliance... MMMIIIIIISSSSSSSTTEEEEEERRRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" BUFFER And in the ring, from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, two hundred nine pounds, MARCUS WALKER! The enhancement raises his fist to the crowd while Mister Dick slides into the ring and starts to feverishly pound his crotch into the canvas, paying no attention to his opponent. COLE Mister Dick has been in a bad mood, worse than usual that is, since missing out on being involved in this past Sunday's School's Out. But I guess all is right with the world now, having helped Reject capture Money In The Bank. COACH Yeah but I still think Mr. Dick's got some unfinished business with Denzel Spencer. *DINGDINGDING!* Mr. Dick rushes his opponent in the corner with kicks and stomps, working him down into the turnbuckles. Pinning his throat on the bottom rope, Mr. Dick then pushes up on the ropes, choking Walker to the referee's count of four. Satisfied with his work, Mr. Dick strolls all the way over to his corner for some more attention from Malaysia. COACH Isn't it refreshing to see true love flowering before your eyes? After some smooches, Mr. Dick is pointed back to the action by his authorative ladyfriend. Mr. Dick grabs Walker as he comes out of the corner, scooping and slamming him in the middle of the ring. And he enjoyed it so much, he decides to do it again. On the third scoop slam, he makes a lazy cover while giving Malaysia a good look at his rippling abs... 1... 2... Kickout. Not concerned with the kickout at all, Mr. Dick's gaze stays on Malaysia and he crawls across the ring for another kiss. COACH You know, I wouldn't stay in a bad mood long either if I had Malaysia. COLE If you had Malaysia, you'd be hospitalised within a week. COACH Yeah, but it'd be worth it. Whipping Walker to the ropes, Mister Dick knocks him down with a clothesline, all very routine for The Human Hard On. The fans start to get on his back and he gives as good as he gets, shouting abuse from over the ropes. Unbeknownest to MD, his inexperienced opponent is getting back up and his eyes widen as he spots an opportunity. Malaysia tries to warn her man, but before he knows what's happening, Mr. Dick has been pulled down with a schoolboy rollup! COLE WAIT A MINUTE! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Oh my, Mister Dick almost got shocked right there!! That cocksure attitude almost cost him again, if he thought what happened with Denzel was embarrassing, he nearly topped that tonight! Flustered, Mister Dick gets back up and is met with a combination of right hands from Walker, getting the crowd excited. Walker hits the ropes and has the presence of mind to duck a Dick clothesline. But Mister Dick has had enough at this point and DESTROYS his opponent coming back off the ropes with a STIFF KICK!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH what a kick! COLE I think Mister Dick is finally paying attention. Suddenly Mr. Dick is all business, dragging the nobody who almost embarrassed him to his feet. He slaps Walker around a little, before jarring him with an inverted atomic drop. Hitting the ropes Mr. Dick shows more intensity with a Clothesline From Hell, mowing Walker down! COLE There's the Cock Shock and that should avoid the shock upset, but it could have been very different. Mister Dick drags what's left of Walker up again. Lifting him onto his shoulders, Mr. Dick hits the COCK BLOCK and forces Walker down with a disgruntled pin... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... MMIIIIIISSSSSTTEEEERRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Still scowling, Mister Dick looks almost embarrassed at what happened. Not even offering any physical contact for Malaysia, he storms out of the ring and gets into another arguement with some fans on his way to the back. COLE Clearly Mister Dick hasn't learnt the lessons that Denzel Spencer should have taught him. Maybe now, Mister Dick will start taking his opponents a little more seriously? COACH Why? COLE Why!? Coach, he could have gotten beat again tonight! COACH You want to know why Mister Dick's angry? Because he's the premier athlete in the world and he's sick of people getting by on flukes. This guy tonight? Would have been nothing but a fluke. Just like Denzel Spencer was nothing but a fluke. He's no match for Mister Dick, he just got lucky. And Mister Dick hates people who rely on luck. COLE You can put a positive spin on it all you want, but you don't win matches on paper or by tales of the tape, you win them in the ring. Maybe Mister Dick ought to learn that, instead of whining and crying when somebody like Denzel Spencer beats him fair and square? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
