PROMO: Adversary

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Longdogger Pete works out in a special weight room backstage at the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where he has been training for the last two days in preparation for his upcoming Snake Eyes match. Pete had a shot at the SWF Intercontinental Television Championship. The title's history was nearly as prestigious as the World Championship itself, having been held in the last few months by such strong champions as Axis, Edwin MacPhisto, Hville Thugg, and Thoth. It easily had the potential to become the biggest match in Pete's career, which meant that the veteran grappler would have to keep himself in optimal physical condition. After losing his shot at the Tag Team titles the week before on Storm, Pete needed to make a strong comeback.

 

Pete's training had been paying off. He had been the first to arrive at the arena every day since the SWF roster had arrived in Pittsburgh, and he had been the last to leave--with the exception of Commissioner Stubby McWeed himself. As a result, he felt himself in better shape than he had been in quite some time.

 

Pete stops a series of bench presses when his cellular phone begins to beep. He grumbles, wipes the sweat away from his face with a towel, and then reaches for the phone. "Pete here," he says.

 

"Pete? It's McWeed. Listen, that woman is calling me again looking for you. Abigail McDougal."

 

Pete groans. "I really don't have the time to talk to her, Stubby."

 

"Look, Pete, I don't know how she got my number, but the chick won't leave me alone. You have to take her call!"

 

Pete stands up from the bench with a heavy sigh. "All right, fine. I'll take the call."

 

"Splendid," says Stubby. "Where are you?"

 

"I'm in the arena, in the weight room."

 

"All right. I'll transfer the call to the phone in there."

 

Pete disconnects his cell phone, and after a moment, he hears a second phone ring, this one coming from the wall by the weight room entrance. Pete walks the few steps across the room and picks up the phone. "Hello?"

 

Pete was expecting to hear the voice of his ex-wife, Abigail, but instead, the voice on the other end is whispered and raspy, obviously disguised. "What's it like to be famous, Pete?"

 

Pete blinks in surprise. "Who is this?"

 

"You revel in your celebrity, Pete, don't you? Thirteen years in the business, a roomful of titles, publicity tours, countless fans... you think you've got it all."

 

"Is that you, Erek?" Pete asks angrily. "What the hell do you want?"

 

"You think you're so talented. But deep down the truth is you love all the attention because it's what keeps you going... because you just can't get it done in the ring any more."

 

"Look, Erek, if you're trying to rattle me, you're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than that."

 

"You call yourself a veteran," the hushed voice continues, "and you know in your heart that you're really just old. Washed up. Useless."

 

"All right, that's it," exclaims Pete. "When I find you I'm going to kick your--"

 

"But that's just it. How will you find me? I could be anywhere. I could be far from you, I could be close to you, I could be behind you... or I could even be... above you."

 

Before Pete can speak again, he is suddenly struck by a falling metal pipe! Apparently the pipe fell through an open ceiling tile, but that thought doesn't cross Pete's mind at the moment, as he is knocked to the floor, face down, by the blow to the head. Before he can regain his bearings, someone grabs the back of his neck, holding him down to the floor and whispering menacingly in his ear. "You may call yourself a champion in the business, MacDougal, but the Prince is one step ahead of you, and I am the heir apparent to your throne. Do not cross me like you crossed your ex-wife. You may have known Fame... but soon... I will make you know my Fury."

 

And after that, the voice, and the mysterious attacker, is gone.

[Guest hhh6294]

Shizzle!

 

 

L-D-P!!!!!!!!!

 

sweet ass attacking promo thee dude!

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

Ohhhhh my.

 

Erek Taylor's Hardcore! Erek Taylor's Hardcore!

 

ICTV Match is the place to be on Sunday. That is, if you can't be in the mai event...

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

My lawn is more hardcore than Erek Taylor.

 

Dammit.

[Guest ErekT2k]

I'd have to agree with OC. His lawn is deadly because he hasn't watered that thing since..... god knows when. It's full of dog crap and flies everywhere. OC's lawn is much more hardcore...

 

QUICK! RUN AWAY FROM THE SMELLY LAWN!!

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

That's a lie and you know it.

 

Don't make me call Thugg.

 

*reaches for insta-electrocution device*

[Guest ErekT2k]

It's not a lie! You never once watered the lawn... you MONSTER!! And that electrocution device doesn't do your lawn any good too. All the electricity has burned its roots!

 

I stand here with the watering pot in my hand. I do good and you know it.... B)

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

I think you're standing on the wrong lawn, Eric.

 

*points over to Outcast's lawn*

 

You're standing on the SCW's lawn.

 

Jackass.

 

I'm serious, don't make me call Thugg.

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

Hey OC, why don't you stop being such a big bully?

 

He's right, you know. Your lawn reeks.

 

I'll blow it up real good if you don't watch it.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

...don't fuck with me, Wilson.

 

You've already felt the power of 'Cast.

 

Ashes to Ashes 2000, need I say more?

 

Get off my lawn, peddler.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

*creeps up behind Erek Taylor, standing on the crest of the lawn with a watering pot...*

 

Tap, Tap, Tap...

 

AHEM!

 

*motions for Taylor to hand him the pot...*

 

WHACK!

 

*hits Taylor in the head with the watering pot, and then kicks him in the ass...*

 

Yo, raise up off my dawg's lawn beeatch!

 

.

.

.

 

glances at Wilson...also standing on the beautiful green lawn...

 

*staredown*

 

"I made you boy!"

 

*reaches into pockey...*

 

ZAP!

 

*wilson gets electocuted*

 

Stay off the lawn!

 

Da "not always there when you call, but always on time" H

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

Oooo...you have to go back pretty far to get that, Cast. There was an IGNite in there I beat you, and last year's Snake Eyes. Granted, you no-showed both probably, but who's the former world champ, bab-ee?

 

And who's the washed up guy whose wife got raped, fiance got shot, mistress died in a car accident, high school sweetheart fell into a sewer and rehabilitation nurse was abducted by aliens...

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

I warned you.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

ZAP!!

 

*Wilson gets another jolt!*

 

Don't you listen...

 

*Kicks Wilson in his fried ass, knocking him off the lawn..*

 

See the sign bitch...

 

"Stay Off The Lawn!"

 

Da "ready this time" H

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

I really didn't wanna do this...

 

*Wilson pulls a remote control out of his pocket, points it at Thugg and hits "Pause".*

 

*Thugg, about to light Wilson up again, freezes in place*

 

Now where was I? Then his ex-girlfriend who still had feelings ran away with a trucker, followed by his junior prom date coming back, only to get every possible kind of cancer, including testicular, and passing away, and then his date to the Homecoming party in college, sophomore year, was wasted by a grenade launcher.....

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Yeah, you better reco-mo-nizzzzeeee, Wilson...

 

The Lawn Coalition will not be stopped...

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

...at least I can get a girl, ugly-ass.

 

Well, I do hear you are quite the "sthwell fella'" with the guys, eh?

 

Quit staring in the men's locker room, Chris...

 

This is why I got my own locker room... *sighs*

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

I wonder what Outcast and his big lawn could be compensating for? Hmmm....

 

And Thugg, too. You don't see anyone else running around talking about big lawns...

Low self-esteem, apparently...

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

I never said my lawn was big, I said it was tended to very well and it was groomed quite nicely as well.

 

Although, it figures that you would think that is what my motivation is...

 

You think everyone's motivation is based on their genitalia. No, Wilson, not everyone is fascinated by penises like you.

 

As for Thugg, I'm giving him $5,000 a week to tend to any peddlers.

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

So Thugg's your bitch, then?

 

Thugg is a crippled, robot, gardener bitch. That's never good.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

He's kicking YOUR ass, I have no complaints.

 

Also... if my lawn is symbolizing my... manhood, why do you keep trying to get onto it?

 

 

EWWW!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!

 

*switches to "Deep Fry" on the zapper button and electrocutes the crap out of Wilson*

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Uh, I think I'll comment on the actual promo.

 

It was totally sweet, yo, but something tells me that it's NOT EREK and the last harasser was NOT LDP. There's definitely something more to this...woo. WOO!

[Guest HVilleThugg]

*wakes up from frozen state*

 

Huh??

 

Damn Wilson...I'll get him!

 

OH, and.....ummmm...

 

*sees Edwin...*

 

Off says I...

 

*gives Edwin the ol' heave ho!*

 

OH yeah....nice one LDP, now that I've finally read it. Where's this going...???

 

Da "mastermind killer" H