Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 3, 2009 Not sure if this will be the main event, or how the stuff at the end was supposed to go, but Patty Rule is in effect. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your MAIN EVENT, and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! For the millionth time tonight, "Scream" by Chris Cornell hits. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by fellow Orange County Cobra SIMON SINGLETON, he weighs 237 pounds… "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLAAAANCHAARD!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" His knee bandaged, Ned limps to the ring and quickly tosses his vest aside. COLE You think Ned isn’t ready? I’ve never seen him more determined in my life. COACH Speaking of life, the O.C. Cobras are running on barrowed time. They screwed VICE out of the tag titles at the Great Angle Bash. COLE What about the Moneymaker/Duncan World title match? COACH Well, the Cubs have the Curse of the Billy Goat; Krista the Curse of the Cunt! Green and yellow lights swirl across the area as Theodore Moneymaker is carried to the ring to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Vero Beach, Floridia, and weighing 236 pounds... he is the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE and the NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRRRLD... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker rises from his throne, mic in hand. MONEYMAKER Attention one, attention all. Your World Champion is about to speak. Showered with boos, Moneymaker scowls. MONEYMAKER Now, before this match gets underway we need to take care of some business first. Simon Singleton, you need to get your ass to the back or I‘m not defending my title. You’re a meddler. Not to mention a disgruntled former employee! SIMON :huh: MONEYMAKER Don’t play dumb with me. I saw the Great Angle Bash, which I recommend everyone catch the encore presentation of this weekend to see history made by yours truly. You and Blanchard cost V.I.C.E. the tag team title, so I wouldn’t put it past you to try to do the same to me. If I’m gonna lose… "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER :angry: …it’s because Ned was the better man, not because he had outside help. COLE Is he forgetting the Great Angle Bash? COACH That was divine intervention. Simon and Ned discuss the situation, then high five before Simon returns backstage. COLE I guess we’re gonna have a World title match then. Moneymaker disrobes and enters the ring to chants of “TEDDY SUCKS!” * DINGDINGDING * Face to face, Ned and Moneymaker exchange words. Shoving ensues and Moneymaker pie-faces Ned, who retaliates with a barrage of roundhouses! Moneymaker reverses a whip and sets for a backdrop, but Ned throws a kick and clotheslines the Billion Dollar Heir! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker tries escaping the ring but is grabbed by the hair. Ned rams Moneymaker into the buckle and backdrops him out of the far opposite corner! The early offensive onslaught causes Moneymaker to beg for mercy. Fist clinched Ned plays to the crowd, buying Moneymaker time to make his next move, hurling Ned into the turnbuckle by the trunks! COACH Would you look at that? Ned actually used his head for once! COLE Oh brother. Moneymaker slides outside and bashes Ned’s already tender knee against the ring post! Again. And again! Clutching his knee, Ned retreats to the center of the ring. Like a predator stalking its prey, Moneymaker creeps up on Ned, laughing diabolically. Repeated stomps to the knee cause Ned to scream in pain. Moneymaker places Ned’s foot on the bottom rope and crashes down with all his weight! COACH Look at Ned squirming, Cole. It’s like a fish out of water. Moneymaker applies THE SPINNING TOE HOLD and keeps twisting the knee until Ned kicks him off! The Billion Dollar Heir smacks the corner hard and stumbles back into a SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ned hammers away, and then fires Moneymaker across. Big clothesline connects and, after shaking off the knee, Ned runs the ropes to deliver his trademark POINTY ELBOW~!…but Moneymaker pops to his feet and executes a POWERSLAM! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Following a snap mare Moneymaker drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~! COACH I bet Ned regrets taking this match now, Cole. COLE I seriously doubt that. We always knew Ned had the talent, but it was until recently we found out he has the heart to go along. Rather than go for the cover Moneymaker climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and delivers a DIVING BACK ELBOW DROP! Now the cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH The knee Teddy! Go back to the knee! COLE What are you, a manager now? Apparently Moneymaker heard Coach, as he once again targets the knee of Ned. Moneymaker twirls his finger and goes for THE FIGURE-4, but Ned wraps him up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker charges forward, and Ned counters the attempted BILLION $ KNEELIFT by SWEEPING Moneymaker’s legs out from under! Quick cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Toe to toe both men go, with Ned getting the better end of the exchange. Moneymaker rakes the eyes to put a stop to that, but Ned reverses a whip and plants Moneymaker with a FLAPJACK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker crawls onto the apron and is on the verge of being suplexed back in when Ned’s knee buckles and he lands on top! COLE He’s got the tights, ref! Theodore Moneymaker is gonna steal this one! The count. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker hooks Ned for a belly-to-belly, but Ned stomps his foot and SLINGSHOTS Moneymaker into the corner turnbuckle! COACH I got a bad feeling we’re gonna have a new champion, Cole. Ned looks to hit the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX when he spots V.I.C.E. arrive ringside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What happened to Moneymaker preferring to lose because Ned was the better man, not due to outside interference? I mean he threatened not to wrestle as long as Simon was ringside. COACH VICE hasn’t interfered. COLE Yet. Though VICE do not interfere their presence alone is enough to throw Ned off his game. Moneymaker delivers a LOW BLOW, unseen by the referee who is distracted by VICE, and then THE SPEAR OF LONGINUS~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE DAMNIT! BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers soon turn to cheers as SIMON SINGLETON rushes down to get him some of VICE! COACH Look at this idiot trying to fight 2 guys at once. Simon strikes fast like a cobra, but the numbers are too much for him to overcome. Thrown into the ring he’s subjected to a 3 on 1 beat down courtesy of VICE and Theodore Moneymaker. COLE Hey, come on now! This isn’t right! The bell sounds frantically, but that doesn’t stop VICE or Moneymaker. Suddenly a HUGE ROAR as KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN storms the ring. COACH It’s Krista! COLE And she’s mad as hell! Moneymaker bails, whisked to safety by CPA. This leaves Bosley to experience Krista’s wrath. She puts the clamps on Bosley, giving him a [b][color=blue]BLUE BALL SPECIAL[/b][/color] (Testicular claw) while slapping him with her free hand. Then she PUKES. COLE/COACH :o The opening fanfare from "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits again as Moneymaker, arms raised to the heavens, flashes "the moneyfingers" sign while laughing. Refusing help from Ned, the show ends with Krista looking like she got an early start on a weekend bender. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
