HD: J-MAX vs. Abdullah Abir Nerdly

[King Cucaracha 0]

We join proceedings in the ring and find Abdullah Abir Nerdly on the microphone, ranting away in Arabic, with the crowd doing their very best to drown him out with boos.

COLE
Abdullah Abir clearly in a bad mood tonight...

COACH
Don't talk over the man!

COLE
Why not, it's not like you can understand him.

COACH
Don't listen to the words, listen to the passion, the meaning behind them.

Abdullah's ranting ends as "Witness (1 Hope)" by Roots Manuva begins to play. Coming out through the entrance isn't who we're used to seeing. Or, rather, it is, but dressed somewhat differently. And wearing a mask.

BUFFER
And introducing his opponent. From Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and eighty one pounds... ladies and gentlemen, "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... J - MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXX!!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Oh please. 'J-MAX'. That's just Jamie O'Hara under a mask.

COLE
Well, duh!

Encouraging the crowd to make some noise, the masked Birmingham Bad Boy runs the last part of the aisle and somersaults into the ring, right to his feet. Abdullah isn't quite so chatty now and ducks out of the ring, motioning for the referee to keep him back. J-MAX whips up the crowd some more, ready to go.

COACH
This is ridiculous. It's the same guy, same music, same nickname! Except he's hiding his face under a mask because he's ashamed. And so he should be!

COLE
He's got nothing to be ashamed of if you ask me. This is a new look and a new attitude for the man we once knew as Jamie O'Hara and I don't think The Heavenly Rockers will have much to make fun of when J-MAX is through with them.


*DINGDINGDING!*

The bell sounds and a cautious Abdullah waits for an opening, trying to attack from behind, but J-MAX has eyes in the back of his mask and catches him with a boot! J-MAX delivers some forearms, before whipping Abby to the ropes and knocking him down with a back elbow. Back up, Abdullah gets nailed with a flipping dropkick. And then gets clotheslined up and over the top rope by the Brit!

COLE
And J-MAX is turning it up to max!

Abdullah waves things off and calls for a prayer break. But J-MAX is already on the run and wipes Abdullah out with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Oh yeah! That's the Jamie O'Hara we know and love, the man who can do things like that!

COACH
You may know and love him. I'd rather do neither, thanks.

Throwing Abdullah back inside, J-MAX calls on the crowd again as he jumps to the apron. Abdullah picks himself up and is left looking up in horror as J-MAX flies towards him again, front-flipping in mid-air and landing on Abdullah with a seated senton!!


1...



2...



Kickout!

Abdullah rolls to a corner and tries to beg off. J-MAX takes one look at the crowd and knows what to do, stomping a mudhole in the Spiritual Advisor!

COACH
This isn't fair Michael! Abdullah isn't a full-time wrestler, he's ring rusty!

COLE
And he wasn't that good to begin with. No wonder he's getting his ass handed to him!

COACH
Shut up.

Picking him up out of the corner, J-MAX whips Abdullah across the ring. He follows and hits a jumping forearm in the opposite corner. Off the ropes, J-MAX then blasts Abdullah with a Busaiku Knee Kick as he stumbles away from the turnbuckles! Everything is going J-MAX's way... until THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS head down the aisle!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Before Logan and Synth can get to the ring though, they're ambushed by THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
The odds are even! And I don't think The Heavenly Rockers like it so much this way!

MARV and MEL take it to Logan and Synth on the floor, while in the ring J-MAX is able to concentrate on the mask. Scoop and a slam plants Abdullah. Setting himself, J-MAX follows up with a STANDING MOONSAULT! The masked Brit then drags Abdullah into position and heads to the top.

COLE
What are we going to see here?

COACH
Abdullah moving... I hope.

Quickly to the top, J-MAX takes aim... AND CONNECTS WITH THE SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!!!

COLE
J-MAX just took it to the max!


1...



2...



3!!!!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... J-MMMAAAAXXXXX!!!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Standing over Abdullah, J-MAX places a foot on his chest and raises his arms in victory. He manages to escape the ring before The Heavenly Rockers can get to him and jogs over to celebrate with MARV and MEL, leaving Logan and Synth fuming again.

COLE
A small measure of revenge for J-MAX here tonight. After so many months of humiliation, that had to feel good. But I don't think he'll be fully satisfied until he's gotten his hands on Logan and Synth as well.

COACH
He should quit while he's ahead. It'd be better than quitting while he's behind like last time. Take your win over a helpless manager and go before The Heavenly Rockers embarrass you once and for all, punk.

The trio of MARV, MEL and J-MAX taunt from ringside as Synth tends to Abdullah and Logan flies into a rage. He dares the three of them to come back into the ring and J-MAX just taps his wrist, telling Logan that the time will come soon enough.