King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 17, 2009 and in the ring, we find Cucaracha Internacional just making their entrance. Black and Faqu make their own, single-minded entrance into the ring, while Blonde sits on the middle rope and holds it open for Landon, waiting for him to finish showing off to camera. Landon spins into the ring and raises his non-matching, non-OAOAST belt in the air. Blonde joins in. And... well, Blonde joins in. COLE Official, unofficial, who knows? All we know is Cucaracha Internacional are claiming to be OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions and they are defending those titles here tonight. MADDIX Finally. Finally, the waiting is over. And finally, Cucaracha Internacional get to show ourselves to the world. The greatest collection of talent in the OAOAST today. The toughest, hardest hitting man in the OAOAST today, Nathaniel Black. The most intimidating monster in the OAOAST, Faqu. The most stylish showman in the OAOAST, James Blonde. And the all-round best athlete in the entire world, me. Great individually. Greater together. The strongest unit in the OAOAST. The OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That makes it official in my book. COLE Why, because Landon said so? COACH Exactly. [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the challengers this evening. Total combined weight, seven hundred and eighty two pounds... from Chicago, Illinois, DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY, THE LOVE DOCTORS... and from sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, MORACCA and MARIACHI, LOS DIABLOS DE FEUGO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Docs take the attention from Los Diablos in their stride as they strip off their lab coats and head to the ring. Having two gay masked luchadors dressed in hot pink lusting over you kinda hurts your appeal with the ladies, but luckily The Love Doctors' appeal was so strong in the first place, they're still in demand. COACH So, this is the team that's supposed to face the strongest unit in the OAOAST? Hah! COLE You're very easily influenced, aren't you Coach? Landon says something and you're repeating it for weeks. Like a parrot. Blonde and Black look pretty confident as they look at their challengers. But Landon calls his team together and calls on them to focus, before giving them a team talk. COLE Do you think Landon sometimes takes this leader role a little too seriously? COLE A strong unit needs a strong leader. COLE Polly want a cracker? *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Dr. Anderson is on duty, starting out with James Blonde. Eager to impress, Blonde tries to intimidate Anderson before they lock up, which doesn't work so well. What does work is an armdrag. So much so that Blonde celebrates, soaking in Landon's applause. COLE James Blonde is like an attention starved toddler. Blonde is brimming with confidence and on the next lock-up, he scores with another armdrag. Pointing to Landon, Blonde dedicates the move to him. Landon points back, but behind Blonde to warn him, Dr. Anderson waiting and dishing out an armdrag of his own! A second! And a third! He goes for a fourth, but Blonde pulls away and rolls out of the ring, complaining to Landon that his hair was pulled. COLE If you don't play fair, I'll tell on you to my daddy! Give me a break! COACH He had his hair pulled Michael. He's got every right to complain. COLE So it's not just Landon's word you take as gospel? Calmed down, Blonde rolls back into the ring and challenges Dr. Max to fisticuffs. But Max blocks a right hand and dishes out one of his own. Anderson rocks Blonde back against the ropes with rights and sends him for the ride, up and over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! Quick tag is made and as Blonde gets up, Dr. Pigley soars from the top with a high crossbody... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling away Blonde makes the tag to Nathaniel Black and scurries to the floor. Black gives his partner a funny look as he steps into the ring and locks up with Pigley. Into a hammerlock, down goes Pigley, taken down by the Brit. Black grabs a headlock as Pigley fights to his feet and shoots his opponent off. Black comes back with a shoulder knockdown, hitting the ropes again to deliver a second one. A third is avoided by a Pigley leapfrog though. Both men come off the ropes, Pigley getting a blind tag to Anderson before he baseball slides through the legs of Black. Coming to a stop, the confused Brit takes an inverted atomic drop from Pigley, held for Anderson who hits the running dropkick! COLE Lovematic Grampa, VINTAGE Love Doctors! Cover by Anderson... 1... 2... No! Anderson attacks Black with some stinging shots and throws a spinning backfist. Black shakes it off though and immediately drops Dr. Anderson with a European uppercut. COACH And that's why you don't trade shots with Nat Black. Tag made and in comes Landon, to a chorus of boos. COLE First time we've seen Landon in action in many months. And he's just as popular as ever! Held open, Anderson takes a hard kick to the chest from Landon. Landon follows up with some forearms, before throwing Anderson into the Cucaracha corner. A swipe at Pigley draws him in and Maddix keeps the referee expertly distracted while Black, Blonde and Faqu all club at Anderson from the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There you go, leading by example, Landon Maddix! COLE Yeah, the example being, cheat to win. COACH Keyword there being 'win'. Once the referee has gained control, Landon runs at Anderson in the corner and nails a leaping forearm smash. He rolls Anderson down onto the mat and strikes with a kick to the back before covering... 1... 2... No! Landon tags in Black and whips Anderson to the ropes. A drop down by Landon leaves Anderson unable to avoid a jumping high knee from Black, right under the chin! Landon offers up a high-five and the Brit eventually gives in to the crass US ways of celebrating before pinning Anderson down... 1... 2... No! COACH Even you have to admit, Cucaracha Internacional are working great as a team. Better even than with Cortez, now they've got Landon pulling the strings. COLE They're a great team, no doubt. They've held the 6-Man Tag Team Titles for about eight months. It's just a pity they're not a six man team anymore now Landon's decided he wants to play again. Another tag is made, this time to Blonde, very much at Blonde's request. Black scoops and slams Anderson near the corner as instructed, allowing Blonde to come off the middle rope with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! A rare success, Blonde looks to Landon, who urges him to cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Los Diablos rub themselves nervously as Dr. Anderson is in a bad way. Strutting around, Blonde feels confident and piefaces the Doc a couple of times. COLE No need for that. Blonde boots Anderson in the gut and jars him with a Sitout Jawbreaker. Rolling back to his feet, The Trendsetter flicks his hair, lets out a celebratory "WHOO!" and hits the ropes. But Anderson runs right past him. And as Blonde slows to a stop, Anderson nails him with a big LARIAT! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Blonde spent a little too much time prancing and preening and it cost him there! Both men crawl to their corners and it's tags on both sides. Landon in for the champions and Dr. Pigley for the challengers. Landon rushes in and runs right into a drop toehold. Quickly back up, he drops down as Pigley comes off the ropes and tries for a dropkick, but Pigley hangs on and Landon hits hard! Pigley floats on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... No! Landon bridges up and quickly takes Pigley up onto his shoulders! COLE GTS! But Dr. Pigley throws elbows, fighting off the anesthetic move. And shifting down a little, Pigley suddenly snaps backwards, bringing Landon down sharply with a CRUCIFIX BOMB!! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Oh, that was close! Staggering up, Landon is caught and set up for the Flatliner. But with a quick knee to the ribs, Landon is able to reverse on Pigley and hit the flatliner variation of his own, the Crash Landon '05!! Pigley flails away on impact, luckily near his corner, where Moracca and Mariachi tag themselves in. COACH Hey, they can't both tag in. COLE Just like you can't have four six-man tag team champions? Landon makes the mistake Blonde did by taking to long to follow up and before he knows it, he's surrounded. With Mariachi making kissy faces, Landon tries to turn away, but runs into Moracca... and gets trapped between a HOMIES HUG!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! Moracca and Mariachi fondle away with Landon aghast in the middle! Blonde sees his mentor in trouble and quickly slides in, knocking both Diablos down from behind. He then tries to comfort a shaken Landon with a hug of his own, which probably isn't the best idea and he gets pushed away. Blonde turns and tries to clothesline Moracca over the top, but gets backdropped to the floor! Meanwhile, Landon is caught with a headscissors by Mariachi! COLE And the homies are having a good time here! As Mariachi and Moracca 'celebrate' though, Landon reaches his corner and tags in Faqu. COACH Uh-oh. COLE Well, fun-time is over. Faqu, The Samoan Wrecking Ball, the not-so secret weapon is in. The big Samoan steps in, getting Los Diablos attention with a primal scream, then MOWING THROUGH THEM WITH A DOUBLE SHOULDER BLOCK!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Like two hot pink pinballs! Beating his chest, Faqu waits for somebody to get back up. Dr. Anderson comes in and attacks from behind, trying to subdue the monster. Unable to do much damage he hits the ropes, but runs back into a throat thrust from Faqu! And hurt, he falls prey to a BLACK LARIAT from Nathaniel, sending him rolling to the floor! COLE And now, Los Diablos in serious trouble! Faqu lines up Moracca... *SMACK!* ...and nails him with a Thrust Kick! Mariachi is up next and Faqu reels him in, picking him up in a fireman's carry. Signalled to wait, Faqu is then loaded up some more as Black, Blonde and Landon lift Moracca up and place him on top of Mariachi, Faqu letting out a yell before CRUSHING THEM BOTH WITH A DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A raging Faqu stomps out his territory as the poor Mexicans are picked up, helpless to do anything about it. Blonde sets up Mariachi... and delivers ILLEGALLY BLONDE... while Black hits the BRITTANIA BOMB on Moracca, Landon in the middle counting along with the referee... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH That's why they're the 8-Man Champions! COLE That and because Landon had a spare belt lying around. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LANDON MADDIX, NATHANIEL BLACK, JAMES BLONDE and FAQU... CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The 8-Man Titles... well, 6-Man Titles and spare SWF belt... are passed into the ring and it's Landon and Blonde leading the celebrations again on a successful defence. Black gives a defiant show of the belt to the fans while Faqu chews on his, staring at the damage done. COLE A successful 'first defence' for Cucaracha Internacional. Say what you will, but they are an impressive team, no matter what you think of Landon and the legalities of these 8-Man Titles. 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