King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2009 JOSH All eyes are on the Chi-Town Spectacular next week, sight of the Battlebowl battle royal to determine the number one contender to the OAOAST World Title at AngleSlam. And right now, we're ready for another Battlebowl tag team match. Maggie hands over the first ball. JOSH And our first participant... CONQUISTADOR UNO! "Creeps" by Fedde Le Grand plays and out heads Conquistador Uno, offering up an ominious chant to the skies before he walks to the ring. COACH I hope the ref checks this is actually Uno. JOSH And his tag team partner will be... one half of the Orange County Cobras, NED BLANCHARD! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Ned Blanchard, in what shape we're not sure. COACH (bitter) Well he won't be walking with a cane after last week, we know that much. A warm greeting awaits Ned as he enters, with a noticeable limp in his step but clearly closer to 100% than before. Ned climbs into the ring and gets right into Uno's face, cussing out the masked/face painted/tattooed (did we clear that up yet?) Conquistador. Ned then scales the turnbuckles and fires up the fans. JOSH Their opponents... first up, the new masked sensation, J-MAX! COACH [i]Jamie O'Hara[/i]. Mask and all, The Birmingham Bad Boy appears and jogs to the ring, tumbling in over the bottom rope in impressive style. COLE And I'm sure as well as the AngleSlam title shot, J-MAX... COACH [i]Jamie O'Hara[/i]. COLE ...will have half an eye on a certain person in that battle royal, if he can make it there, Logan Mann. JOSH And his partner is half of V.I.C.E, CPA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" That quickly gets Ned's attention and a smile on his face, as CPA marches out. The big muscle of V.I.C.E throws some shadow punches, which don't intimidate Ned whatsoever, waving him to the ring. COLE CPA and Ned Blanchard will be on opposite sides tonight and opposite sides next week in Chicago in an eight man tag team match, featuring VICE and The LDC Moneygang taking on The Cobras and Team Heyross. But only one of them will be pulling double duty in the Battlebowl battle royal. CPA climbs to the apron... and he stays there. Ned calls him into the ring, but CPA arrogantly points to an imaginary watch, saying all in good time. So Ned leaves as well, slapping Uno on the chest, almost knocking him off his feet with his offer of 'good luck'. *DINGDINGDING!* J-MAX and Uno circle. They go to lock up and J-MAX quickly turns it into a hammerlock, surprising Uno. Uno looks for an escape and tries to roll out, but J-MAX rolls through with him and maintains the hold. Spinning him around, J-MAX then takes Uno over with an armdrag. A high dropkick connects, followed with a Standing Moonsault... 1... 2... No! COLE This crowd, electrified by J-MAX every time he steps into the ring. COACH He's only had one match Michael. Unless, of course, he's JAMIE O'HARA! COLE Have you ever thought of becoming a detective? Barring the arm J-MAX keeps control of Uno, until the Conquistador reaches up and rakes at the mask and with it the eyes. Uno gets up and drives the point of the elbow into J-MAX's neck repeatedly, before summouning some greater powers. NED :huh: Ned tags himself in, interrupting Uno's chant, which doesn't go down well. But Ned just tells him to take a hike. COACH Yeah, great teamwork Ned. Ned comes in and quickly sends J-MAX to the ropes. J-MAX ducks underneath an elbow, but Ned recovers and goes for a hiptoss... only for J-MAX to land on his feet and execute a monkey flip! Rolling into a corner Ned shakes it off and when J-MAX attempts another monkey flip, he counters with a shove. J-MAX manages to moonsault over onto his feet though. He tries to catch Ned walking out of the corner with a spinning wheel kick, but gets caught and flipped backwards, stomach first across the top rope! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Reprimanded by the ref Ned apologises and backs away... surprising CPA with a right hand, knocking him off the apron!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now that's just uncalled for! Ned cusses CPA out and before the pissed gun for hire can get in, the referee steps in between. While this is going on, Uno runs at J-MAX, but gets kicked off the apron. J-MAX waits for Ned to turn around and then catches him with a Springboard Missile Dropkick!! 1... 2... No! Off the ropes, J-MAX goes over Ned AND WIPES OUT CONQUISTADOR UNO WITH A SURPRISE SOMERSAULT DIVE!!!!! COLE J-MAX TAKES FLIGHT!! Ned gets up and looks around in confusion, allowing CPA to sneak in and strike with a clothesline! The referee orders CPA out of the ring as he's not the legal man, risking the wrath of the bigman. Not seeing any of this, J-MAX slides back into the ring and with Ned down, nails a standing corkscrew splash!! 1... 2... Kickout! Ordering a tag, CPA gets it from his masked partner. Cracking his knuckles the bigman steps in and stands over Ned, slowly picking him back up. COACH And this is what CPA wants, a shot at the man who cost him the Tag Team Titles. COLE He'll get that and a lot more next week in that big eight man tag. CPA loads up his fist and nails Ned with a big right hand. Ned is staggered, barely staying on his feet. His reward for doing so, another hard right hand. Ned falls against the ropes but earns the cheers of the crowd as he DARES CPA to hit him again. Which he does, hard enough to send Ned sprawling to the mat. COLE Ned showing some heart and some guts, the kind of heart and guts we doubted he actually had in the days of the New, New Midnight Express. A man with plenty to prove. COACH And he's not going to prove it trying to punch it out with CPA. Whipped to the ropes, Ned is picked up and FLUNG down with a Front Spinebuster! CPA stands over Blanchard and pins him down with one foot... 1... Kickout by Ned, who SPITS up at CPA, earning him an elbowdrop. "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" CPA pulls Ned up by the hair, throwing him into the turnbuckles. He smashes Ned with a back elbow and then a second, leaving him hurt in the corner. With a smile on his face CPA walks to the opposite corner. And as the smile disappears, he runs at Ned with an Avalanche... THAT MISSES! CPA is winded and Ned starts to unload with right hands in the corner, before stomping CPA down and walking a hole of some description in his chest! COLE And Ned taking it to CPA, with a vengeance, look at this! Waving CPA back up, Ned delivers a clothesline in the corner. Pulling CPA out he then sets him up, looking for the Slingshot Suplex, but can't get CPA up. COACH Way too big. Ned tries again but CPA continues to block. Before suddenly picking Ned up in the suplex and throwing him forward, face-first to the mat! Holding his ribs, Ned is then laid out with a BIG boot to the face as he stands back up! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by CPA... 1... 2... Kickout! Climbing up, CPA watches as Ned struggles to his feet. Allen smirks and balls up his fist, coming off the ropes. As Ned turns around CPA throws the big Gigaton Punch... but MISSES! Ned catches onto CPA and pulls him down with a backslide! 1... 2... No! Ned grabs CPA's legs and tries for the Stungun, but a double sledge to the back fends him off. Coming off the ropes again, CPA is caught with a back elbow, cutting him off. Turning on his heels it's Ned off the ropes this time. CPA catches him and lifts him up for another Spinebuster, but Ned escapes as CPA had, with a double axe. As he lands Ned hooks CPA up again for the suplex and turns him towards the ropes. But suddenly, he collapses in a heap, his knee clipped at the side by CPA! COLE Oh, right to the knee and Ned is in a lot of pain! COACH Looks like Ned'll be ordering a new walking cane from Grandma's World tommorrow after all. In pain Ned rolls away from CPA, who gives him a helping nudge with the foot to get him to the corner. Which allows Uno to tag in. No concern to CPA, who watches Uno run in at him and casually raises a boot for him to run into! COLE Uno not learning from Ned's mistakes. CPA drags Uno back up, roughly putting him into a gutwrench and lifting him up for the DOMINATOR!!!! COACH Haha, wow. CPA just smushed Uno in about five seconds. Strolling to his corner, CPA surprises everybody by tagging out of the ring, including his partner. The bigman looks on from the arena floor and lights up a VICTORY CIGAR, in full view of Ned, who looks on in a heap on the ring apron. Meanwhile, J-MAX drags Uno's lifeless body towards the corner. Climbing to the top, the masked superstar sets himself and finishes Uno off with a SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!! COLE Taking it to the MAX~! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* With a satisfied puff of his cigar CPA turns and leaves, with J-MAX left to take the plaudits and have his hand raised. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, advancing to the Battlebowl battle royal... CPA and J - MAX!!!!!!! J-MAX is cheered most of the crowd, those who aren't down the aisle and getting on CPA's case. Cursing up a storm Ned continues to clutch his knee, although the cursing seems more in anger than pain. COLE Two more qualify for next week in Chicago, J-MAX on a real roll and CPA, who's partner Detective Bosley is going to be there in the field too. Could that prove to be a difference maker? COACH I can't see how it won't. Bosley's the alpha male, the big dog, the hunter. And CPA, everyone's afraid of the big black man. But together, they're even more dangerous. And they don't even have to worry about pulling double duty, it's going to be four on three judging by the shape Ned's in right now! COLE Oh I think Ned will be ready for Chicago, don't worry about that. COACH Yeah, but in what shape? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
