King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 14, 2009 Returning from the break, the ring is filled with men. The Queen's Men, busy psyching themselves up, while their Queen sits relaxed on the arena floor, occassionally waving to her subjects in the crowd. BUFFER The following eight man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! Total combined weight, eight hundred and fourty six pounds... DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT, THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND... "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL and RICO DE JANIERO, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... they are ALL THE QUUUUEEEEEEEEEEENN'SSSS MMMEEEEEEENN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Queen Esther covers her ears at the sudden crudeness of the fans. COLE Eight man tag team action here on HeldDOWN and I'm being joined, co-incidentally enough, by one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions Landon Maddix. MADDIX I prefer 'leader', but thank you. COLE And I guess you're out here, scouting for future challengers. MADDIX Absolutely. These belts are prestigious belts and they deserve the best challengers possible, not least because as prestigious champions we really need some better competition. Perhaps on cue, "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits. Red and blue lights splash across the stage as Baron Windels heads out with the hook 'em horns held high! Either side of him rush MARV and MEL, The Christ Air Express, hitting their leaping double high-five and jogging to the ring. And after gentlemanly allowing Melody Nerdly to enter ahead of him, Tim Cash excitedly fist pumps his approval to the crowd. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of eight hundred and fifty five pounds. They are accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY. First, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS, they are CITIZEN SOLDIERS... and their partners, MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AAAIIIIIIRRR... EEEXXXPPRRREEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" MARV and MEL stand on opposite turnbuckles and fire up the crowd as they toss their jackets to the outside. Moments later Baron and Cash slide in and things threaten to break down between them and The Last Kings Of Scotland, the Scots still bitter after what happened last week. COLE MARV and MEL of course won those titles from Cucaracha Internacional, back when they were still the 6-Man Titles they started out as. MADDIX Yeah but that hardly counts. COLE So now the lineage is worthless, as well as the giant 6s on the belts? MADDIX Do you see a six on this belt? COLE No, but that's because your's is the belt with SWF etched on it... MADDIX Let's not get caught up in these semantics. Melody gets her troops together and goes over the strategy. The cameras are more focused on Queen Esther, who once she realises she's on camera says hello to the, quote, "people of television land". *DINGDINGDING* Tim Cash starts things off with Lucius Soul. Unsurprisingly, Wrestling's Last Real Good Guy tries to get things off on the right foot with a handshake. And just as unsurprisingly, Soul rejects it. Slapping Cash's hand away, he asks if Cash is "buggin'", before dishing out a PIMPSLAP!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's no way to treat a lady and it's no way to treat a gentleman either. Getting fired up, Cash surprises Soul with a fireman's carry takeover. Soul gets back up and is caught with a second fireman's carry. Cash then goes for a third, but instead of flipping Soul over he lifts him up and does three AIRPLANE SPIN revolutions before dumping him down! Lucius quickly rolls to his corner and tags out, while the Queen comes over all dizzy on the outside. In steps Scottish Scott, who fares no better, running right into a fireman's carry of his own. COLE The history between Citizen Soldiers and The Last Kings Of Scotland well documented, Baron and Cash getting what seemed to be the last word in that war last week. Cash controls Scott with a wristlock and tags in MEL. Coming off the top with an axehandle, MEL takes over on the arm. MEL then whips Scott off and connects with a standing dropkick. Cover... 1... 2... No! Another quick tag is made, this time to MARV. The twin brothers wait for Scottish Scott to get back up and catch him with a double inverted atomic drop. MARV hits the ropes and is launched into the air by MEL, coming down with a dropkick onto the Scotsman! Cover again... 1... 2... Kickout by Scott, who quickly gets out by tagging Rico. Rico slows things down, thoughtfully stroking his porn 'stache. COLE The Christ Air Express and Citizen Soldiers looking good in the early going, are you open to giving them a shot at your 8-man titles? MADDIX We're open to any challenge and we have been all along. I've said it a dozen times, Cucaracha Internacional, the strongest unit in the OAOAST, there's no four man team, four person team, whatever, that has the combined skills we have. Rico swaggers in and squares up to MARV. A lock-up is easily won by Rico, shoving MARV down to the mat, to applause from his team-mates. MARV tries again, but is again thrown down with ease. Rico smirks a sleazy smirk and flexes his bicep to add insult to injury. The smirk is wiped from the Brazilian's face though the moment MARV tags in Baron Windels. COLE Rico might not have such an easy time throwing around this big Texan steed. Not so confident about his biceps now, Rico is psyched up by Lucius who convinces him he's got what it takes. Baron and a hesitant Rico lock up and Rico tries to shove Baron off, but he doesn't budge. Rico tries again, same result. And tired of playing around, Baron throws Rico down on his Brazilian flag emblazoned ass! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Baron Windels wins the battle of the bulls! MADDIX He wouldn't be doing that to Faqu, that's for damn sure. Rico jumps back to his feet, embarrassed and runs at Baron, who scoops him up with a body slam! Lucius runs in and gets a body slam as well! Body slam on Danny Boy! And a body slam on Scottish Scott! Coming in to even the odds a little, MARV and MEL clothesline The Last Kings Of Scotland outside, while Baron throws Lucius up and over the top. Turning his attentions back to Rico, Baron hooks him down with a flying lariat and goes for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Climbing to the top, Baron looks for the trademark Clobberin' lariat. But Lucius suddenly springs onto the apron and pulls Baron's leg, crotching him on the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX That's what a good team needs, awareness. You've got to look out for each other. COLE Well Lucius was certainly looking out for his Mardi Gras party partner there. With Cash trying to point the rulebreaking out to the referee, Baron is pulled off of the turnbuckles and thrown into the Queen's corner. And she claps away as her men put the boots to Baron, four on one in the corner. COLE Apparantly seeing a man being quadruple teamed with kicks doesn't go against Queen Esther's idillic view of the world. MADDIX Well, that's because her team are winning. COLE ...can't argue with that logic. Once the referee turns around, Scottish Scott is back in legally and uses a four count to choke Baron with his boot before pulling him back up. Sent to the ropes, Baron is felled with a clothesline and covered... 1... 2... No! Scott traps Baron in a chinlock to prevent the tag, his partners and Melody trying to rally the crowd. COLE What do you make of the Queen and her Men, Landon? MADDIX They're looking good right now. I like the dynamic they've got going. Four guys, all pulling in the same direction to please their leader. COLE And you think you can relate to that? MADDIX Well, I wouldn't like to compare myself to the lovely Queen... for many reasons... but you get the point. As Baron fights to his feet, Scott adjusts into a front facelock and moves to his corner. Tagging himself in Lucius quickly scales to the top and drops an axehandle to Baron's exposed back. Lucius then tags Baron with a couple of right hands before attempting an irish whip. Baron reverses on the stone cold pimp and tries to lay him stone cold out with a Big Boot, but Soul ducks and catches Baron with a spinning heel kick as he turns around! 1... 2... Kickout! Finding himself in the wrong corner, Baron makes a move to get the tag... and Lucius dives at the leg, holding on long enough for Rico to lay him out from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As MARV and MEL come in to complain, The Hellfire Club drag Baron away and Lucius is able to take over with a chinlock. MADDIX There you go again, looking out for your partners. COLE You sound impressed by All The Queen's Men. MADDIX I am. They're no Cucaracha Internacional, don't get me wrong, but they've got a certain j'ne pas. COLE J'ne sais quoi? MADDIX Bless you. Melody urges the crowd to make some noise and Baron's partners slap the turnbuckles, trying to get Baron back in the game. The Lone Star Gunslinger fights back up again and starts firing shots to the midsection of Lucius. The Black Knight shrugs them off, kneeing Baron in the gut. He turns and hits the ropes, but gets caught going for a crossbody and is thrown with the Devil's Addiction fallaway slam!! COLE Power from Baron! Landing near his corner, Lucius is able to reach up and tag in Danny Boy. Looking to cut off the tag he closes the distance and gets between Baron and his corner, before throwing a clothesline. But Baron ducks and MAKES THE TAG!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Tag made, in comes Tim Cash! Climbing to the top, Cash waits as Baron boots Danny Boy in the gut, before THROWING Cash off the top onto Danny Boy with a crossbody! COLE And what a way to come in! 1... 2... Kickout. Scottish Scott runs in late to make the save, making up for it by grabbing Cash and holding him for Danny Boy. COLE Uh-oh. Playing some pre-emptive air bagpipes, Danny Boy charges, but Cash gets his foot up to the chest and blocks. Cash breaks free of Scott's grip, reaching back and flipping him with a judo throw. Before giving the Scots the DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Scott and Danny Boy stagger around, to find MARV and MEL up top, waiting, nailing them with STEREO MISSILE DROPKICKS FROM THE SAME TURNBUCKLE!! COLE MARV and MEL, together as one! In comes Rico, looking for a double clothesline on the CAE. They duck under and Rico runs into a dropkick from Tim. COLE The pace starting to quicken and The Queen's Men are struggling to keep up. Rico rolls to the outside and right where The Christ Air Express want him. Getting the crowd a-clapping, MARV and MEL come off the ropes... AND MARV HITS A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA... ...WHILE MEL RUNS BACK AND CATCHES LUCIUS WITH A SURPRISE SUICIDE DIVE!!!!! COLE Bodies flying at all angles! MADDIX This is great action but it's not pinning anyone or making them submit. Looking to change that, Cash trips up Danny Boy and slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf! COLE This might though, Midwest Sling! Cash nods his head, but suddenly gets hooked and DDTed by Scottish Scott! Dragging his partner over, Scott dumps him on top and gets out of the way of the pinfall, clubbing his chest proudly... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Stomping back over, Scott pulls Cash back up. He clubs him in the back frustratedly, before setting him in a standing headscissors. COLE Looking for a piledriver here, one of Scottish Scott's pet moves. MADDIX Pet move? Has he not been around long enough yet for it to be vintage? Scott struggles to get Cash up, kicking his legs to fight up. The Scot then looks up in horror, as Baron Windels flies off the top with the Flying Lariat!! MELODY IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!! QUEEN ESTHER :O Once he realises where he is, right in front of his opponent's feet, Cash reaches down and puts the Midwest Sling on Scottish Scott. COLE Submission applied again, somebody needs to get in to make a save. Queen Esther feels the same thing, appealing for a kind knight to come to her man's rescue. Unfortunately, Rico and Lucius are busy on the floor with MARV and MEL, while Baron is slugging away at Danny Boy. So, left with no other option, Queen Esther climbs onto the apron (which with her ballgown is no easy feat). COLE Wait a minute, the Queen with a royal interruption! MADDIX She must have seen a pixie or something. The referee orders the Queen to get off the apron, but gets a helping hand from Melody Nerdly, who pulls her to the floor!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Queen lands with a thud on her derrierre and although her ballgown gives her plenty of padding, she's AGHAST at being womanhandled. Meanwhile, in the ring, Scottish Scott can take no more and with Danny Boy held at bay, he taps out!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Two weeks in a row for Citizen Soldiers over the Scots and victory in this eight man tag team match! Cash lets go of the hold in gentlemanly fashion and congratulates Baron, as Danny Boy lays despairingly on the mat. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, the team of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS and CITIZEN SOLDIERS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody and her twin brothers all slide in to join in the celebrations, all rather amused as the poor Queen is comforted by her Knights, still sat on the arena floor. COLE So could we have found the next challengers for the World 8-Man Titles, in Citizen Soldiers and The Christ Air Express? They've taken care of their personal business, maybe now they'll be setting their focus on championship gold Landon. MADDIX Well, good luck to them then. Because I saw more than enough tonight to feel very confident. These four showed some signs of speed, some signs of power, a little technical wrestling. Great. Cucaracha Internacional, we've got all that and then some. And math be damned, these two sets of two do not equal our four, guaranteed. COLE Well we may find out some time in the near future. Landon leaves the commentary table, having seen what he needed to see. The celebration continues without him as Melody's team climb the turnbuckles and salute the Memphis crowd. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
