King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 20, 2009 Coming back from commercial, we find Lucius Soul waiting in the ring, busy combing his 'fro and checking it out at various angles on the big screen. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, from New Orleans, Louisiana... weighing ... "THE BLACK KNIGHT", "SWEET" LLLUUUUUUCCCIIIIIIUUUUSSSSSSS... SSSSSOOOUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Singles action here on HeldDOWN and we're being joined by a special guest, the Queen gracing us with her presence! QUEEN EMILY Salutations! Who may I say is speaking? COLE It's... it's me. I'm sitting right next to you. QUEEN EMILY OH! I see! I'm not familiar with these auto-communication helmets you are using. As the Queen gets to grips with the futuristic headset she's been fitted with, "Witness (1 Hope)" by Roots Manuva hits. Jogging out from the back J-MAX fires up the crowd before heading to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent. From Birmingham, England... weighing one hundred and eighty one pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... J - MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Queen Esther, I've got to ask how you're doing after last week. QUEEN EMILY (unconvincing) I'm fine. I do not remember anything bad happening to me last week. COLE Wha...wait a minute. What about Melody pulling you off of the apron and you landing on the floor? QUEEN EMILY Sweet man, I think, perhaps, you must have dreamt that. COLE Well we've got the video right here if you're having some memory problems. [QUOTE=LAST WEEK ON HELDDOWN~!]Queen Esther feels the same thing, appealing for a kind knight to come to her man's rescue. Unfortunately, Rico and Lucius are busy on the floor with MARV and MEL, while Baron is slugging away at Danny Boy. So, left with no other option, Queen Esther climbs onto the apron (which with her ballgown is no easy feat). The referee orders the Queen to get off the apron, but gets a helping hand from Melody Nerdly, who pulls her to the floor!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Queen lands with a thud on her derrierre and although her ballgown gives her plenty of padding, she's AGHAST at being womanhandled.[/QUOTE] QUEEN EMILY :O Wherever did you obtain that footage young man? That is the demon footage! I specifically asked that all copies of that tape be destroyed! And now you have replayed it, so the world will once again be subjected to nasty images of their Queen being attacked by a bad person! Oh no no, you have corrupted the sweet innocent minds of your viewers! COLE Well, we try our best, every Thursday night. *DINGDINGDING!* With both men ready to go the bell sounds and they circle, Lucius still combing his 'fro. They go to lock up, which is when Lucius realises he's got a 'fro pick in his hand, so he asks for a timeout to put it safely in his pocket. COACH There's a dawg with priorities. Once he's ready Lucius walks back over, to accusations of time-wasting from the masked J-MAX. Lucius jaws back and goes to shut him up with a PIMPSLAP... but J-MAX ducks and starts firing right hands! Backing him up against the ropes, J-MAX whips Lucius to the ropes and connects with a spin wheel kick. First cover of the match... 1... 2... No! Soul backs into a corner, looking for another timeout to fix his 'fro. But he doesn't get one. J-MAX rushes and delivers a running forearm in the corner, then looks for another whip. A reversal sends J-MAX towards the corner, which is no problem, running up the ropes and then moonsaulting up and over the on-rushing Black Knight! QUEEN EMILY Heavens above! Lucius lets out a confused "da'hell!?" and turns around, right into a hurricanrana! COLE J-MAX, on fire! Once he gets going, he's so hard to stop. COACH Unless you start calling him mean names or something. That usually gets rid of him for a couple of months. Scrambling out of the ring, Lucius tries to clear his head. J-MAX lines him up and gets the crowd clapping, preparing to take flight. As he runs across the ring though, Lucius looks up and spotting J-MAX coming, he quickly slides in under the bottom rope. J-MAX just manages to save himself, vaulting over the top rope and landing on the apron. Thinking he's safe, Lucius does a fancy two-step. But when he turns around, he's taken out with a Springboard Crossbody!! 1... 2... NO! Still in full flow J-MAX comes off the ropes but gets caught with a Powerslam! COACH That sure stopped him. 1... 2... No! Swinging J-MAX around, Lucius sends him back into the ropes and lays him out with a back elbow. And with this brief pause in the action, Lucius decides to use his precious time to comb his 'fro. Of course. QUEEN ESTHER Oh, I do admire a gentleman who takes care of his appearance. Not like some of these brutes I encounter in the locker room. Tucking away his comb, Lucius covers J-MAX... 1... 2... No. Soul clubs at the back of J-MAX as he gets back up, before forcing him back into a corner. Jabs rock the masked man until the referee's count of four, at which points Lucius backs up to show "I'm cool". Lucius then dishes out a couple of kicks to the chest, before setting up an irish whip. As he approaches the corner, J-MAX gets a foot up, stopping himself with the middle turnbuckle and throwing his elbow back to catch Lucius. J-MAX then springs to the middle and leaps over Lucius, spinning in mid-air to execute a flying sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Rolling right back to his feet, Lucius is up before J-MAX can move and KICKS the seated masked man clean in the face! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a shot that was, right to the masked SKULL~! Cover by Lucius... 1... 2... Kickout! Lucius drags J-MAX back up and shoves him into the corner. After a few more jabs he loads J-MAX up, whipping him across the ring. J-MAX hits the other corner and Lucius is right behind him, spinning through the air looking for the Soul Brother Splash... but J-MAX sneaks out of the way! J-MAX runs right for the ropes again. But Lucius regains his breath and delivers a BICYCLE KICK, so hard that J-MAX BACKFLIPS AND FACEPLANTS INTO THE MAT!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE OH MY! WHAT A KICK! QUEEN ESTHER Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Flipping the limp body of his opponent over, Lucius senses victory and hooks the leg eagerly... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COLE No, J-MAX kicks out, after two hard kicks to the head in quick succession! How about that! COACH He might have kicked out, but he's clearly on dreamstreet, that's obvious mask or no mask. Lucius debates the count with the referee and threatens him with a Pimpslap, but wisely controls his anger. "J - MAX!" "J - MAX!" "J - MAX!" "J - MAX!" QUEEN ESTHER The people are singing! How delightful! COLE Yes, but they're singing for your man's opponent. QUEEN ESTHER My heart holds no bad feelings when people come together in song Michael. Dragging J-MAX back up, Lucius takes him up onto the shoulder, looking for the Fro 2 Sleep. J-MAX still has enough wits about him to struggle free though, squirming out of Soul's grip and landing on his feet. Lucius tries to nail J-MAX with a clothesline, which is ducked, leaving him open for a desperation enziguri! COLE And this time it's Lucius who takes the kick to the head. Both men take a few seconds to shake out the cobwebs. Lucius recovers first and grabs hold of J-MAX, by the mask. But J-MAX knocks the hands away, catching Lucius in the jaw with a jumping knee strike! Spit flies, Soul left dazed. J-MAX quickly hooks him up and delivers a standing blockbuster neckbreaker, then rolls on top... 1... 2... No! J-MAX asks for encouragement from the crowd as he gets back up. COACH What's up with these fools, cheering for a quitter, somebody who can't even show his face? QUEEN ESTHER Could he perhaps be a masked highwayman? I must hope not, I ride my stagecoach everywhere! COACH Say what? As Soul gets back up J-MAX runs at him, leaping up with a hurricanrana... but Lucius catches him and SITS DOWN!! COLE Sitout Powerbomb!! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COLE What a great counter move from Lucius, but still not enough! Lucius quickly picks J-MAX back up and lifts him onto the shoulders. He carries him into the middle of the ring and throws him up, ready to put him 2 sleep... but J-MAX, remarkably, manages to twist around in mid-air and COUNTER WITH THE HURRICANRANA!!! COLE WOW! Rolled to his feet, Lucius walks right into a spinning wheel kick, laying him out near the corner. COLE And this might be J-MAX's cue to fly! QUEEN ESTHER Oh dear. This isn't good at all. J-MAX climbs the turnbuckles, bringing the crowd to their feet. QUEEN ESTHER Hello? Hello? Come in mister director! Please turn all of your cameras off before it's too late! Do you read me? Hello? But before Queen Esther's transmission can be dealt with, J-MAX takes flight and CRUSHES LUCIUS WITH THE 630 SPLASH!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE That's one move that doesn't deserve to be burnt from the records!! 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And after a hard-fought battle, J-MAX picks up the win! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... J - MMMMMMAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The masked high flier has his hand raised in victory, the crowd still jumping after the move they just witnessed. J-MAX climbs to the middle rope and plays to the fans as Queen Esther leaves the booth to attend to her fallen Knight. Not that she's much help, begging the referee to "do something" as Lucius simply moans in pain. COLE J-MAX, flying high in the OAOAST! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
