Tony149 0 Report post Posted September 11, 2009 Inside the ring are two PLATFORMS setup for the Last Kings of Scotland/Orange County Cobras joust. BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following special attraction event is THE JOUST! The rules are simple: best 2/3 with both teams competing individually. In the event a third joust is needed, the winners of the previous two bouts will do battle. The only way to win is by knocking your opponent off their platform. Now let’s meet the participants! “Protect Your Mind (2009)” by DJ Sakin & Friends cues and Queen Esther leads the Last Kings ringside, the pugil sticks in their possession. BUFFER First, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER… Europe’s finest athletes, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… SCOTTISH SCOTT and DANNY BOY… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Last Kings bash each other with the pugil sticks to psyche themselves up. COLE I told you those guys are nuts. Look at them! COACH I see two warriors with hearts of gold, like when they helped Theodore Moneymaker a few weeks ago. COLE More like did his dirty work. But it was Simon and Ned who got the last laugh at Angleslam. They took care of Theodore Moneymaker that night and tonight they’ll take care of the Last Kings of Scotland. “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the crowd ERUPTS. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY… from Orange County, California, total combine weight 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The O.C. Cobras want to the ring with a purpose. Whether it’s a wrestling match or joust, they just want to get their hands on the Last Kings of Scotland. COLE A tremendous ovation for Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. COACH Not surprising since there isn’t much to cheer about living in Hartford. Before the joust begins Simon has the referee inspect both pugil sticks to ensure they haven’t been tampered, and then he and Scottish Scott take their positions. And so do THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB in the front row. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" They even brought their own food as Lucius grabs a couple of sodas and Slim Jim’s out of a TRASH BAG for him and Rico. COLE I don’t understand this at all. COACH What’s there to understand about two guys in the front row? They’re just trying to enjoy the show. Molly lets the MGHFC know she’s got her eyes on them, to which they respond in a vulgar matter unsuitable for print! REFEREE Contenders, ready? Simon nods. SCOTTISH SCOTT I’m a gladiator! REFEREE Gladiator, ready? Scott nods. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and the joust is ON. Scott and Simon both aim high with neither giving an inch, until Scott connects with 1-2 punch that knocks Simon off the platform. COACH :lol: MOLLY :( Simon shakes his head in disgust. SCOTTISH SCOTT (clubs chest) VICTORY~! Queen Esther and Danny congratulate Scott as the official announcement is made. BUFFER The winner: SCOTTISH SCOTT! Last Kings of Scotland lead the series 1-0. Well now go to match #2. Ned and Danny go up on the platform. REFEREE Contender, ready? Ned nods. REFEREE Gladiator, ready? Danny nods. * DINGDINGDING * A quick draw, Ned knocks Danny off following a series of body shots/blows to the head! LUCIUS/RICO :huh: COLE Who’s laughing now, Coach? COACH Aw, shut up! Molly and Simon celebrate with Ned while Danny pouts in the corner. BUFFER The winner: NED BLANCHARD! The series is tied at 1 apiece. We now enter the third and final joust. Scott joins Ned on the platform and they wait for the signal. REFEREE Contender, ready? Ned nods. REFEREE Gladiator, ready? Scott nods, then drops his pugil stick which rolls outside near the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. COLE Scott lost his pugil stick. Is that a forfeit? COACH Can’t be. The bell never rang. Lucius switches Scott’s pugil stick with another one he had in the trash bag, unbeknownst to the O.C. Cobras and Molly. COLE Hey, wait a minute. Did you see that? They switched pugil sticks! COACH How can you tell from our vantage point? COLE We broadcast in HD! Danny hands Scott the new pugil stick as the MGHFC get a jump on traffic. COLE Where are they going? REFEREE Contender, ready? Ned nods. REFEREE Gladiator, ready? Scott nods. * DINGDINGDING * Like he did against Danny, Ned gets off to a fast start, with Scott willingly taking the hits. COACH I don’t understand this strategy. COLE Neither do I. Everything becomes clear when Scott takes Ned down with ONE SHOT. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winner: SCOTTISH SCOTT! Last Kings of Scotland wins the joust 2-1. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Simon jumps in the ring to check on Ned, who is now a [color=red][b]BLOODY MESS.[/b][/color] COLE What did Scottish Scott hit Ned with to cause that kind of damage? COACH Ned probably smacked his head hard on the way down. COLE No way. There has to be another reason. And that reason turns out to be the pugil stick was really a SPIKED CLUB in disguise. COACH Now we know. How clever! COLE How despicable is more like it. They ought to be ashamed. Scott knocks Simon out cold with the handle of the club, then he and Scott perform not one…but two DOUBLE TOP ROPE LEGDROPS! COACH Highland Farewell! OAOAST officials rush the ring before the Last Kings can get their hands on Molly. SCOTTISH SCOTT (into the camera) Now a crime has been committed. COLE So I guess the Last Kings are eager to face Simon and Ned in the ring after doing a number on them. Go figure. We need to take a break or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
