HD: 8-Man Tag

[King Cucaracha 0]

Suddenly, the crowd jump to their feet, as "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits. Maggie Nerdly leads the way out for her men, Baron Windels throwing up the longhorns as MARV and MEL hit a leaping high-five behind him. All manner of pyrotechnics go off behind them as they head to the ring, with Tim Cash apparantly too nice for pyro of his own.

COLE
And ladies and gentlemen, when we come back, the OAOAST 6-Man 8-Man Tag Team Titles will be on the line! A long overdue shot for Citizen Soldiers and The Christ Air Express and it's coming up, next!


[b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK*[/b]


Back from commercial and Baron, Cash, MARV and MEL stand waiting in the ring. Maggie amuses herself playing Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII on her PSP. A professional!

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall and is for the OAOAST 8-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! In the ring, the challengers. Total combined weight, eight hundred, fifty five pounds. The team of MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS... and BARON WINDELS, TIM CASH, together they are CITIZEN SOLDIERS!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Hands go up from the challengers but their cheers die down the moment Pat Benatar blares through the arena.


"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night
So baby take my hand, you'll be alright
Surrender all your dreams to me tonight
They'll come true in the end"

Wearing a disappointed expression on his face, Landon Maddix walks out with a microphone in his hand and calls for his music to be cut.

COLE
What's this all about?

MADDIX
Man... you guys are gonna be so annoyed with me. Boy. Uhm... whew, how to put this...

"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"

MADDIX
Here's the thing. Unfortunately, there's been more travel problems and honestly, I don't know where the rest of the guys are right now. Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean for all I know.

Three of the four challengers's faces sink, while Tim as ever tries to look for the silver lining in the situation.

COACH
Damn immigration.

COLE
Not again. This title match must be cursed!

MADDIX
I really don't know what to tell you. Except to say, I spoke to Josie earlier and she's allowed me to find some replacement partners again. So, everybody give it up for THE QUEEN and her men! Give it up!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

The crowd, disappointed at not getting to see a title match, are further disappointed at the arrival of Lucius Soul and The Last Kings Of Scotland. Particularly the Scots. Of course, Queen Esther is oblivious to the hostile reception and waves to the crowd with a cheery smile on her face. She greets Landon and they curtsey to one another. Baron and Melody look on and don't like what they're seeing.

MADDIX
I'd like to take one second to thank the good Queen here for helping me out tonight. A very gracious gesture from a very gracious lady.

The Queen's cheeks flush and she fans herself.

MADDIX
And before we get going, again, guys, I want to apologise for jerking you around like this. It's not fair on you. It's not what I want either, because everybody knows how committed I am to these OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Titles and the challenge I laid out a few months ago. And I just... I just wish I knew where James, Nathaniel and Faqu were right now. I really do.

COLE
HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

As if by magic(!), Faqu slides into the ring and as MARV and MEL turn around, they get wiped out with a double clothesline!!!!

MADDIX
OH, wait, there they are!

Baron and Cash turn around, only to be ambushed by Black and Blonde, also having come through the crowd on the other side! Picking up the fallen Nerdlys, Faqu takes them both by the hair and HURLS them both over the top rope, landing in a heap on the arena floor!!

Smiling from ear to ear, Landon turns to Queen Esther and thanks her for her "help" again with a polite kiss of the hand, at which point The Queen's Men begin to leave and Landon slides into the ring.

COLE
Damnit, it was all a set-up! That's what you get for beginning to take Landon Maddix at face value I guess!

COACH
Now how do you know that Michael? Maybe they just got off the plane. Maybe they had to SWIM here! You don't know that they didn't!

COLE
Oh, yeah, Landon looks positively shocked to see them, doesn't he?


*DINGDINGDING*

Landon and Black stomp away on Baron in the corner while Blonde works over Cash, a shocked Melody trying to get her bearings on the outside. Directing traffic Landon jogs over to Cash and together, he and Blonde irish whip the nicest man in pro wrestling out of the corner, right into the bare foot of Faqu! A combined effort then throws Baron Windels into the jaws of the monster, scooped up and DRIVEN into the mat with a Samoan Drop!!

"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"

Still looking like the cat that got the cream Landon strolls around the ring, while Black and Blonde put the boots to Windels. Maddix whispers something into Faqu's ear and the Samoan leaves the ring, in pursuit of MARV and MEL. And both twins are whipped into the barricade by Faqu.

COLE
This is not much more than a mugging! Baron, Cash, MARV and MEL were ambushed! And now, they're just being picked apart.

As Faqu takes care of The CAE, Baron is left three on one in the ring. He fights to his feet, but is completely surrounded. Booted in the gut, Baron is rocked with a Sitout Jawbreaker from Blonde. He falls to one knee, where he gets ROCKED by Landon, with a Low Flying Superkick... turning him around into the path of a BLACK LARIAT!!

COACH
Wow! Look at the teamwork, amazing!

COLE
Yeah, look at the teamwork, after jumping your opponents from behind!

Baron rolls out of harm's way, being stomped on by Black. Rolling back into the ring Tim Cash crawls over to protect his tag team partner. And when the kicks start being aimed his way, he tries to fight Black off, landing some shots to the gut, before Blonde and Maddix pile in.

COLE
And look at Tim Cash, all heart, trying to fight these three men off.

Overwhelmed just like his partner, Cash is beaten down until Landon again begins to call the shots to his team-mates. Black and Blonde pick Tim back up and send him to the ropes. A headbutt to the gut brings Cash to a sudden, painful halt. Black then steps aside, as Landon and Blonde slam Tim's face into the mat before adding further insult to injury by performing a HANDSHAKE over his fallen body. While Landon laps up the boos of the crowd, Blonde just seems ecstatic to be interacting with his mentor.

COACH
That's a mark of true gentlemen right there.

Melody looks un-amused and more importantly, powerless, as Tim is dragged into a corner. Carefully the Champions place Cash up against the bottom rope and call Faqu back in.

COLE
Come on. Not this.

Sat in the corner, Cash is choked by Blonde, until Faqu comes charging in with the running ass, smashing Cash right in the head!!!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

FAQU
BLAARGHGHAARHAGGH!!!

Cash's head flops around and he lays motionless, the crowd hushed at seeing wrestling's nicest guy being destroyed in front of them. The 8-Man Tag Champs just stand and look at him for a second... before Landon informs them he wants them to "give him to me".

COLE
And now what? Tim is already out, what more do they need to do?

Black and Blonde dutily drag Cash out of the corner and hand him over to Landon. With Tim out of it, Landon is forced to prop his opponent up, before lifting him up into the fireman's carry. Landon then turns Cash into position and with somewhat of an anti-climax, hits the GO 2 SLEEP!!

COLE
Oh, I get it, I guess Landon has to get the glory. Gimme a break.

COACH
Never can be too careful Michael.

As the troops stand guard, Landon drops down and makes a casual pin...


1...




2...




3!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

*DINGDINGDING*

Big smile, Landon rolls back up and asks for the belts, as Melody looks on in disgust.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Landon takes possession of the belts from the referee and dishes them out to his partners. Most grateful of all, James Blonde, who gives his mentor a congratulatory hug at a job well done. Faqu snorts and snarls in the background, while Nathaniel Black just watches all this going on.

COLE
And look, they're proud. They're actually [i]proud[/i] of themselves. After this.

COACH
Why shouldn't they be? They're still the champions, still the strongest unit in the OAOAST, all that good stuff.

Handing over his belt, Landon gets a funny look from Black before he takes it. Faqu resorts to chewing on the strap of his belt as Baron crawls back inside and Cucaracha Internacional leave. The big Texan shows compassion and goes to check on Tim rather than go after Maddix and co, although that's clearly on his mind as he points up the aisle at them.

COLE
All this bravado about being the unbeatable group in the OAOAST and this is how Cucaracha Internacional chose to defend their titles? I just don't get it. And I just wonder, what's in all this for the Queen, helping Maddix out in this ruse?

Cucaracha Internacional leave with Landon and Blonde in high spirits, smiling in the face of the threats from big Baron.