HD: Blonde vs. Baron vs. Rico vs. Ned

[King Cucaracha 0]

"Right Round" by Flo Rida hits and it's party time in Tampa! Not that you'd know it, the fans not in a Mardi Gras mood. Strutting his stuff, Rico de Janeiro heads out with fistfuls of coloured beads, hoping to see some action from the ladies.

BUFFER
The following contest is a Fatal Fourway Match, scheduled for one fall! And by order of OAOAST President Josie Baker, all outside parties will be BARRED from ringside for this match. Introducing, participant number one. From Rio de Janeiro, Brazil... weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds. He is "THE WHITE KNIGHT" of the MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... RRIIIIIICCOOOOO... DDEEE JJJAAAAANNEEEEIIIIRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Always on the lookout, is Rico. But those wandering eyes certainly got him into trouble two weeks ago, at the Halloween Spectacular.

COACH
Wandering eyes!? There was no wandering needed, his eyes were ASSAULTED! Look!


[QUOTE=OAOAST HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 2009, Orange County Cobras vs. Mardi Gras Hellfire Club]
Suddenly THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND hit ringside and lay out Simon, then flee like thieves in the night. 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
What the heck?!

Ned continues to hammer Lucius, the attack on Simon unbeknownst to him. But a clubbing blow to the back by Rico grabs his attention. From the middle rope Ned is placed in position for THE MOUSTACHE RIDE. 

COLE
Uh-oh. 

COACH
Uh-oh indeed. The guys told me their Moustache Ride/swinging DDT combo is called 3:10 to Hell. 

Ready for flight, Lucius becomes distracted when Molly hops on the apron and FLAS...


[COLOR=red][b]******BIG GIANT FUCKING RED X ON THE SCREEN! NO BOOBIES FOR YOU!********[/b][/COLOR]


Rico drops Ned and hurls a pair of BEADS to Molly. 

LUCIUS
Oh, shit. 

Lucius gets popped and thrown into Rico! Both men stagger to their feet and a DOUBLE COCONUT by Ned! The Handsome Hustler clotheslines Rico over the top and nails Lucius with THE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!![/QUOTE]


COACH
Ridiculous!

COLE
Well, Molly admits she got caught up in the moment, but what's done is done.

COACH
No, not that. They censored the footage! Bullshit!

COLE
But, you were ju... I mean, yo... oh forget it.

Rico stands in the ring, stroking his moustache and watching the big screen. Suddenly, his lip curls as "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays. The red carpet is rolled out for Ned Blanchard, who smirks at Rico on his way down the aisle.

BUFFER
Participant number two, from Beverly Hills, California! Weighing two hundred, thirty five pounds... he is one half of the ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER"... NNEEEEEEEDD... BBLLLLLLAAAAANNCCHHHHAAAARRRRRDD!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

As soon as Ned rolls inside, Rico exits the ring and talks a walk. Ned sarcastically tells Rico to keep his eyes on him and not anything else (like breasts), then climbs the ropes and poses for the crowd.

COACH
What a smug SOB.


[COLOR=red][i]"You try to play cool
Like you just don't care
But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear
Givin' me all that I desire
'Cos down with me
I'm taking you higher"[/i][/COLOR]

"The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits and James Blonde swaggers through the entrance, wearing a one of a kind white version of his usual entrance jacket. Trends, and stuff. Fluffing his hair, Blonde extends his arms outwards and dares the crowd to boo him. Which, they do. A lot.

BUFFER
Participant number three. Hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia... he represents CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL! Weighing two hundred, eight pounds... one quarter of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJAAAAAMMMEEEESSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEE!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Wagging his finger, Blonde elects not to step into the ring yet. He walks around the ring and pats Rico on the back. And suddenly it's all smiles from the Brazilian, as he and Blonde warn Ned he's in trouble now.

COLE
Well this should be an interesting dynamic here. We know that there's been some kind of "working agreement" made, between Landon Maddix and Queen Esther. So will we see Rico and Blonde work together tonight, even though this is every man for themselves?

COACH
I hope so.

Looking down at his opponents, Ned doesn't seem worried and gives them both a firm UP YOURS.

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
I don't think Ned is concerned either way!

Blonde and Rico reel from the shock of that, into the shock of BIG HUGE exploding pyro! The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans down to reveal Baron Windells, throwing up the longhorns!

BUFFER
And the final competitor. From San Antonio, Texas! Weighing two hundred, sixty five pounds... "THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAARRRROOOOOONN... WWWWIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEELLLLSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Big Baron marches to the ring and throws up the horns to the crowd, all business tonight. He pulls off his white leather jacket and hurls it over the ropes, narrowly missing Rico and Blonde, who aren't so cocky now the odds are evened up.

COLE
Baron Windels, cost a match last week by Landon Maddix. And clearly in a bad mood here tonight.

COACH
What's he mad at James for? What has he done to deserve it?

COLE
Unending loyalty to Landon?

COACH
Well, they're not [i]actually[/i] that close, you know. Just occassional acquaintances.


*DINGDINGDING*

The referee calls for the bell, but with only two men in the ring. Outside, Blonde and Rico try to come up with a plan. They decide to rush the ring on '3'... or, at least, Blonde does. However, Rico bottles out. Blonde gets to his feet and quickly realises he's alone, turning to Rico and shouting at him for desertion, before getting a sinking feeling. And he turns around into a right hand from Baron!

COACH
Ahh, JB just got punked out!

Baron unloads with big Texas sized right hands before backing up, clotheslining Blonde up and over the top to the floor! Baron wastes no time in going after him. Which sends Rico scurrying, not realising Ned has left the ring on the other side and is there to meet him with right hands of his own!

"YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Blonde and Baron do battle on one side of the ring, Rico and Ned on the other. Not that either is much of a battle. Baron and Ned slug away, while JB and Rico just try to escape the beatings they're taking.

COLE
And it is breaking down already!

With a knee to the gut, Rico manages to turn the tables on Ned.

Meanwhile, Blonde opts for the "run for your life" tactic and escapes from Baron, rolling back inside the ring. Blonde tries to catch Baron unprepared with a right hand as he follows behind, but Baron blocks and decks Blonde with a Texas right of his own! Having had quite enough of being punched in the face for one night, Blonde backs into a corner and begs off. Baron has none of it though and whips Blonde across the ring. Throwing up the horns, Windels follows in and forces Blonde to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! Blonde staggers out, as Baron takes off into the ropes and nails a diving Texas lariat! Cover...


1...



2...


Broken up by Rico!

The Brazilian clubs away on Baron and attempts an irish whip. A reversal sends Rico off instead, but he manages to put on the brakes, booting Baron in the chest. Rico stops to stroke his porn 'stache and almost pays for it as Baron retaliates with a clothesline. But Rico manages to duck and twist Windels around into a neckbreaker. Cover by Rico...


1...



2...



But it's Ned in this time to interrupt.

COLE
It's hard to get a quick pin in a match like this, while you've got two other opponents lying around, still relatively fresh.

Ned lays into Rico with right hands, backing him against the ropes. Irish whip is reversed by Rico this time. A scoop up on the rebound doesn't work, as Ned slips out the back. He goes to scoop Rico, but Rico slips out as well. Both men aim and miss with clotheslines, before Ned is able to snatch Rico's thick legs and guide him into the top rope throat first with the STUNGUN! Ned makes the pin...


1...



2...


And Blonde piles on top to break it all up.

COLE
Organised chaos here on HeldDOWN~! What could be better?

COACH
You want a list or were you being rhetorical?

Ned shrugs Blonde off and fires away with right hands, sending JB back into a corner. Opening up a carton of California orange juice in the corner, Ned stomps a mudhole in Blonde's chest and walks it dry. Behind him, Baron picks Rico up and starts teeing off with right hands again. Baron whips Rico to the ropes and surprises everyone by throwing an impressive dropkick to knock Rico off his feet!

COLE
Wow, big 6'7 265 Baron, leaving his feet with that dropkick!

Cover by Baron...


1...



2...



Kickout.

Turning away from Blonde, Ned converses with Baron. The former rivals combine to whip Rico off the ropes again. Baron takes him down with a drop toehold and Blanchard delivers the POINTY ELBOW~!

COLE
VINTAGE Orange County Cobra... wait a second... oh, now my head hurts.

COACH
Now ya know how we feel.

Ned jumps right back up to lay out Blonde with a clothesline and fires up the crowd, Baron doing the same in the background.

COLE
These two are looking good now. But sooner or later, they're going to have to fight it out amongst themselves if they wanna win.

Picking Blonde back up, Ned prepares his newfound friend, whipping JB into a Big Boot to the face! Blonde rolls out of the ring and Rico is left alone, struggling to his feet. A boot from Baron doubles him up and the Texan encourages Ned to go up top, while he prepares a suplex. As Ned goes up though, Rico blocks the suplex. Ned's foot is then grabbed by Blonde, while Rico gets a small package on Baron!


1...



2...



NO!

Back up first, Baron lays out Rico with a right hand, then runs over and boots Blonde off the apron. As he turns back around though, Rico is waiting with a clothesline!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Rico strokes at his 'stache, not paying attention to Ned, who comes off the top and clubs him from behind!

"YYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!!"

Ned goes to make the cover...


1...



...but is pulled out of the ring by James Blonde. Frustrated, Ned takes a big swing at Blonde. But he ducks and sends Ned CRASHING into the steel steps with a shove in the back!!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Ooh, Ned went in hard, shoulder first.

Back inside, Baron and Rico are up and trading punches. It's an even fight until Blonde slides back in and suddenly Baron is overwhelmed, two on one. Rico and Blonde club Baron down to a knee before stopping to stroke 'stache/fluff hair.

COACH
Oh yeah, lookin' good guys!

COLE
Yes, but which looks sleazier. I'd say it's a toss-up.

A double irish whip sends Baron off the ropes. Baron doesn't even bother ducking the double clothesline, instead BREAKING through the arms. And as he rebounds back, he delivers a double clothesline of his own! Blonde weasels his way to safety again, so Baron goes on the attack on Rico instead. Right hands club the Brazilian back against the turnbuckles, the Tampa crowd behind every single one of them. Hooking Rico up, Baron then runs out of the corner, looking for a bulldog. Blonde suddenly re-appears from his hole and tries to intercept Baron with a clothesline, forcing the Texan to bail out and duck. When he turns around, Rico connects with a knee though, allowing Blonde to follow up with a dropkick to the side of the head.

COACH
Look at that, great teamwork.

COLE
Well it's two on one. Baron can only fight those odds for so long.

Ned climbs back to the apron to try and even those odds, but is dropkicked off by Blonde. He preens, while Rico heaves up the 265 pound Baron for a vertical suplex.

"LET'S GO BAR - ON!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*
"LET'S GO BAR - ON!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*

Sneering Blonde walks over, delivering a jumping stomp to Baron's head.


The screen suddenly splits in two and we find interested observers watching on. In an otherwise humble looking locker room, Queen Esther sits in her giant throne, applauding gleefully at what she's now seeing. Standing alongside her, big smile on his face, is Landon Maddix. They chat away carefree, while they watch Baron being double-teamed.

COLE
And there you see Queen Esther and Landon Maddix, looking on. I guess that answers any questions about whether their business agreement is still in force.

COACH
So Rico and JB working together didn't tip it off for you?

Pulled to his feet Baron is backed against the ropes and shot off. Double back elbows knock him down and it's all smiles for Rico and Blonde. Baron isn't going down without a fight though and gets in some blows to the stomachs, before he's stomped down again.

COLE
Looks like Blonde is trying to direct traffic here. What a complex this guy has. A number of them.

The Trendsetter heads to the top, while Rico takes care of Baron. After some clubbing blows to the back the Brazilian shows his strength again, lifting Baron up and dropping him across the knee with an old-school gutbuster. Rico then steps aside, stroking his porn 'stache, while Blonde leaps from the top and puts his knee into the side of Baron's head!!

COACH
The Brand Labelling! Slap a price-tag on that man and cover him!

COLE
...what!?

Minus the price-tag bit, Blonde does just that...


1...



2...



RICO PULLS BLONDE UP.

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Uh-oh.

COLE
Well, so much for the teamwork.

COACH
Thank goodness Landon is there to attend to the Queen, she wouldn't want to witness this!

Understandably annoyed, Blonde gripes at Rico but the Brazilian insists he just wants to do some more damage to Baron first. And he points Blonde back up to the top again. Not sure about this, Blonde goes up top anyway, as Rico puts Baron in a standing headscissors. However, Baron blocks being taken up for the powerbomb and Blonde is left stranded on the top rope, when Ned climbs to the apron and SHOVES HIM OFF THE TOP TO THE ARENA FLOOR BELOW!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COACH
AAAHHHH!! Are his tights okay?

COLE
Are his TIGHTS okay!?

COACH
You don't know how much those things cost! He might have torn them, or broken a zip!

Baron eventually manages to backdrop Rico, freeing himself. As he rolls aside, Ned takes over, unloading with punches on Mr. de Janeiro. Rico is backed into the ropes and sent off, dropped with a hard back elbow. And then a clothesline. Rico tries to retaliate, but Ned ducks the punch and jars Rico's spine with an atomic drop.

COLE
Oh no! Right to the [i]TIGHTS[/i]!

COACH
Shut up.

As Rico wobbles, Ned comes off the ropes and levels the hairy chest of his opponent with a lunging clothesline, enough to put him down for the pin...


1...



2...



NO!

Ned drags Rico up with a handful of hair and calls for the end.

COLE
Could be going for the Slingshot Suplex!

Setting Rico up, Ned can't get the burly Brazilian up for it though. Rico manages to block twice, then tries to counter with his own suplex. Ned floats over the back, landing on his feet though. As Rico turns around, Ned picks the legs, looking for the STUN GUN... but Rico blocks that too. A double axe across the back weakens up Ned and Rico takes him up over the shoulder, ready to dish out a free MOUSTACHE RIDE...



...until Baron pulls Ned to safety! Rico has no idea what happens until he turns around, met with boots to the gut and hit with a DOUBLE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
HOW ABOUT THAT! A little teamwork from Baron and Blanchard, who'd have thought you'd see that!?

COACH
Yeah but now they've got to cover him.

Coach spots the problem before anyone else, including Ned and Baron, who both go to cover and get in each other's way. They go face to face for a second, before Ned just shrugs and starts slugging away on Windels! And Windels returns fire!

COLE
Well, should have seen that coming at least.

Baron and Ned go punch for punch, trading blows. Baron gets the better of it with right hands (did I mention they were TEXAS-sized?) and sends Ned for the ride, looking for a Big Boot. Ducking underneath Ned avoids the boot and quickly takes out the other knee with a chopblock! Some of the Tampa crowd jeer Ned for what they deem a cheapshot. But Blanchard isn't cut up about that and he quickly dishes out a DDT, covering Baron...


1...



2...



Kickout!

Backing into a corner Ned elevates himself up, onto the middle rope. Clasping his hands together he takes off, the double sledge weilded. But he lands right across Baron's knee, with an eye-popping inverted atomic drop!!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

NED
:O

Removing Ned from his knee, Baron boots him in the chest, firmly enough to knock Ned against the ropes, so he can dish out the MYSPACE COMEBACK as he bounces back!! Leg hooked by Baron...


1...



2...



NO!

COLE
Two of the OAOAST's finest, battling it out here. And this crowd about 50/50, some for Ned, some for Baron. Both great athletes.

Slipping off his elbowpad Baron gives the call for one more as he waves Ned back to his feet.

COACH
Looks like it's about time to start being a Baron Windels fan.

COLE
Another big Lariat, here it comes.

Ned stumbles to his feet, a sitting duck for what's waiting for him. Off the ropes, Baron loads up, looking for a Lariat... but suddenly comes to a stop, as James Blonde grabs his ankle from the floor. And clings on for dear life.

COLE
Wait a minute, Blonde from the outside... like a leech, look at that grip!

Baron struggles to pull his foot free, but is trapped.


And with the referee's line of sight taken for a second, Rico sneaks up behind Ned and delivers a LOWBLOW!!!!

COLE
HEY!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

The referee turns around and sees Rico, coming off the ropes and unleashing THE HAND OF GOD to Blanchard!! Ned curls up in a ball and Rico stacks him up, trying to conseal the balls being nursed...


1...



Blonde clings onto Baron, preventing him from breaking the pin...


2...




3!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Aw, come on!

*DINGDINGDING*

"Right Round" strikes up and the moment the bell sounds, Blonde lets go of Baron's leg and scampers away before he can get kicked. Baron is too late to get to Rico and he escapes with his hand raised in victory and his porn stache stroked in delight.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen your winner of the match... RRIIIIICCOOO... DEE JJAAANNEEEIIIIIRRRROOOOO!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Rico nods his head with a smirk and strokes on the 'stache. Getting to his side, Blonde gives him a half-hearted pat on the back in congratulations, before holding his hip in pain from the fall he took earlier.

COACH
It's amazing what a good business relationship can do, isn't it?

COLE
It's amazing what a lowblow can do, I know that much.

COACH
Oh really? Is that really any worse than exposing your breasts to distract someone? You reap what you sow in this game Cole and Ned Blanchard.... well... let's just say, he got S-OWNED~!

COLE
Very clever.

Knelt near Ned, Baron scowls at the victory celebration unfolding in front of him and slaps the ring mat in frustration.


Meanwhile, backstage, Queen Esther claps her hands like a child on Christmas morning, Landon smiling as if it were all down to him.