King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2009 The lights alternate between red, white and blue as the catchy (and therefore annoying) intro to "Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis plays out through the arena. Punching his way through the curtains, Nathaniel Black raises his arms overhead with a sour look on his face. PENZER Ladies and gentlemen this next contest is set for one fall, introducing first, from London, England... he represents CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL... NNAAAAATTHHHAAAAANNIIIIEEEEEEELLLL... BBLLLLLLLAAAAAACCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black saunters to the ring, flicking the V-sign at a couple of the more vocal fans. JR Nathaniel Black, not looking too happy to be back in an WDW setting. COACH Don't take it personally. I don't think Nat's too happy, period. Entering the ring Black mouths off at the crowd a little, before demanding a microphone. The fans give Black some abuse, so he just patiently waits for them to realise they're wasting their own time and shut up. BLACK For those of you, who 'ave a little trouble with simple things in life, like tellin' the time... and from the looks of you lot, that'd be the majority... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BLACK ...World Domination Wrestlin' came back to TV screens, two an' a 'af years ago. Two an' a 'af years ago, I was wrestlin' in Japan, trynna make a livin' that I couldn't make over 'ere in the US. But World Domination Wrestlin', they looked at me an' they said "this guy has got [i]talent[/i]!" This guy could go places. This guy is a [i]WRESTLER[/i]. Two an' a 'af years ago, since they brought me back to the US. An' I've gotta say, on the record... it's been a miserable two an' a 'af years, stuck in this pisshole of a country! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" BLACK So, tonight, I come back to World Domination Wrestlin'... to face the one person in this company who I 'ate more than the Yanks. And that's the Brit, who acts like he's a Yank. Now, [i]everybody[/i] knows, that this "J-MAX" character is that scrawny little wanker, Jamie O'Hara, hidin' under a mask. He's ashamed to show 'is face. An' who could blame 'im? Well after tonight, he's gonna 'ave even more reason to be ashamed of 'imself. Cos tonight, I'm gonna give 'im the wrestlin' lesson I never got the chance to give 'im in World Domination Wrestlin'. I'm gonna show aaaaall of you Yanks what a real, [i]GREAT[/i] British wrestler really is. An' when I'm done with 'im, he'll be so embarrassed, even you penniless, healthcare objecting Americans will feel better by comparison! As Black throws down the microphone after his xenophobic speech, "Witness (1 Hope)" by Roots Manuva hits. Striding to the ring J-MAX slaps at a couple of hands before rolling straight into the ring and squaring up to Black. PENZER And his opponent. From Birmingham, England... J - MMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" With the referee keeping the two Brits separated, J-MAX and Black jaw back and forth before being sent away to their corners. JR No love lost at all between these two men. And it all started here in WDW. *DINGDINGDING* As soon as the bell sounds Black and J-MAX are at it again, mouthing off to each other as they meet in the middle. Suddenly, Black shuts J-MAX up by dishing out a forearm. J-MAX shakes it off and retaliates with a forearm of his own. Black throws another forearm. And so does J-MAX. Grabbing hold of J-MAX's arm, Black puts a stop to the forearms with a quick arm-wringer, flipping J-MAX overhead. But J-MAX pops right back to his feet and gets in Black's face! So Black HEADBUTTS him! JR Oh, right in the face! What a vicious shot that was! COACH Well he was kinda asking for it, getting in Nat's face like that. Bet that's not the first time he's headbutted someone for doing that in his life. J-MAX is picked up off the mat and blasted with a European uppercut with Black, staying right on the attack. J-MAX rolls away to the ropes, trying to buy some time. He's dragged right back in though, snapmared to the mat and placed in a chinlock. JR J-MAX's nose could very well be busted open underneath that mask. And if that's the case, that'll make breathing very hard. Forcing J-MAX down to the mat, Black starts to test the nose some more by grinding his forearm across the face! J-MAX kicks out and again tries to roll away, adjusting his mask. Black follows him over to the ropes and dishes out a couple more forearms and some shots to the body, before being moved back by the referee. JR And Black is not letting up for a second here. Black backs away from the referee and takes a run-up at J-MAX, who sits against the ropes. J-MAX sees Black coming though and kicks his feet up. The kick puts Black on the backfoot and the momentum sees J-MAX flip over the top rope, landing on the apron. Quick as a flash, he springs to the top rope and flies back in with a crossbody block! 1... 2... No! Waiting for Black to get up, J-MAX lands a kick to the shoulder. And one to the chest. Black shoves J-MAX away, the masked Brit using his momentum to his advantage again and knocking Black down with a jumping forearm. Quickly back up, Black snatches out at J-MAX, who weaves behind and rolls Black up... 1... 2... No! As he gets up again Black manages to cut J-MAX off with a boot to the gut. COACH There we go Nat. Got to slow this down, don't let him use his speed. But Black tries to use [i]his[/i] speed, coming off the ropes with a lariat. J-MAX readies himself and stuns everyone by grabbing Black's scything arm and using it to backflip, onto his feet! And with Black bemused, J-MAX leaps up and cracks him with an enziguri!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Black staggers, but doesn't go down. Motioning to the crowd J-MAX hits the ropes. Shaking off the kick, Black lowers his head, trying to BUTT the oncoming SuperJay in the stomach. J-MAX floats over, looking for a sunset flip. But Black holds on. Reaching down, he lifts J-MAX off the mat with two hands by the throat and then throws him with an Exploder Suplex! JR J-MAX, so hard to catch. But Black managed it. COACH And how! Cover by Black, forearm forced against the nose just to be extra-mean... 1... 2... No! Despite kicking out J-MAX has been slowed right down, struggling to get back up. Black drops down and applies a half nelson, cranking the neck with his free hand. "J - MAX!" "J - MAX!" "J - MAX!" "J - MAX!" Just as J-MAX starts to respond to his fans, Black forces him down and drops a knee across the bridge of the nose! J-MAX kicks around in pain as he's forced to the mat... 1... 2... No! J-MAX rolls away into a corner. Charging in, Black wallops him with a clothesline against the turnbuckles. BLACK COME ON THEN! Slapping his opponent around, Black then throws him across the ring. This time Black finds no-one home on the charge though as J-MAX climbs the turnbuckles and backflips over him! J-MAX runs into the other corner, unaware that Black has stopped himself. A quick turn puts Black back on the charge. But J-MAX pulls out the Max Evade, leaning back and catching Black in the face with both feet! JR Just like I said, so hard to catch! Black staggers back. Pulling himself through to the apron, J-MAX then leaps over the top, landing on the middle rope and flying straight in at Black with a BLOCKBUSTER!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh, SNAP~! Cover by J-MAX... 1... 2... NO! J-MAX looks despairingly at the referee before waving Black up. J-MAX comes off the ropes... but Black cuts him off with a headbutt to the midsection. With J-MAX doubled up, Black then quickly hits a Half Nelson Backbreaker! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Black covers... 1... 2... NO! JR Back and forth between these two diometrically opposed Englishman. COACH Yeah. And also, they're pretty different. Giving the referee a foul look, Black waits for J-MAX to get back up. Off the ropes, he then unleashes a big LARIAT, turning J-MAX INSIDE OUT!! COACH BAH GAWD what impact! JR :huh: Black flips J-MAX over and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO! BLACK WOT!? Unable to believe he only got 2, Black hounds the referee, who meekly holds up two fingers as he's backed up against the turnbuckles by the seething Brit. JR Black's got to keep his composure here. Punching the referee out won't do him any good. COACH It might make him feel better though. Try it! Black doesn't try it, eventually leaving the referee be. Turning back to J-MAX he loads up again, looking for another LARIA... NO! J-MAX ducks. J-MAX gets caught with a boot to the gut though. Going behind, Black goes for a back suplex. But J-MAX flips over and lands on his feet, before catching Black in the chest with a jump spinning back kick as he turns around! J-MAX adjusts his mask and hits the ropes, launching himself at Black with the Busaiku Knee Kick... ...but gets CAUGHT and DUMPED with a modified powerbomb!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" JR Wow, Black just threw J-MAX down like he was nothing! With J-MAX flat out on the mat, Black sneers and signals for the end. COACH One big move too many. JR It may have been, as Black, now going for the kill. Dragging J-MAX up, Black puts him in a standing headscissors. Crossing over the arms under J-MAX's body he pauses, scowls at the fans, then lifts J-MAX up for the BRITTANIA BOMB!! JR There it is. 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Black throws J-MAX aside and gets to his feet, snatching his hand away from the referee to raise himself. PENZER Your winner of the match... NNAAAAATTHHHAAAAANNIIIIEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The victorious Black marches around his fallen opponent and comes as close to a smile as he's likely to. Raising his arms again, Black is jeered again, but little does he care. JR It may have taken two and a half years to do so. But, I guess Nathaniel Black finally proved his point about pure, technical wrestling coming out on top over the high-flying, action packed style of Jamie O'Hara. If, of course, he and J-MAX are really one and the same. COACH Of course they are, dummy. Just like you painting moons on your belly doesn't make you any less of an Oklahoma redneck. Black leaves the ring and looks back in satisfaction, as J-MAX clutches his neck back in the ring. 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