King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2009 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen this next contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York... weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... he is "THE DISCO DUCK"... VVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNYYYYYYY... VVVAAAAAAAALLLLLLLEEEENNTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" To the funky beats of "Rock Your Baby" by George McCrae, Vinny Valentine struts out onto the stage and breaks into a little New Year's disco dancing. COLE Well, if there's any day of the year that Vinny Valentine can get away with dancing to a relic of a song like that, it might be New Year's Day. Vinny set for action against Biff Atlas here tonight. These two, tag team partners just a week ago at the WDW reunion show. But we saw a falling out this week on Syndicated and it looks like Vinny V's New Year's Resolution is to strike it out on his own in 2010. COACH I can respect that. Moving on up! Vinny V cuts a rug in the ring, until his music cuts out. He looks pertubed at the party stopping. Even more so when Biff Atlas heads to the ring, with no music, only a determined glare on his face. BUFFER And his opponent! From Venice Beach, California... he weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE And listen to the crowd showing their support for Biff Atlas! Biff marches to the ring, pouting at his tag team partner. He rolls into the ring and wastes no time, brushing past a surprised Charles Robinson and immediately throwing wild fists at Valentine! COLE Woah, here we go, Biff going right after Vinny V! *DINGDINGDING* Hammering away on Vinny, Biff seems to be stuck in 'smash' mode and it takes the referee's full effort to pull Biff off of The Disco Duck. Biff seethes as he waits for Vinny to pick himself back up. One big right hand then rocks Vinny against the ropes. Putting up his fists, Vinny eats a second big right hand and his legs wobble. Punch-drunk he falls into Biff, who shoves Vinny back and throws a third big right hand, sending Vinny through the ropes to the outside! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Boy. I don't think we've ever seen Biff Atlas this aggressive before! Vinny rests on the apron, trying to clear his head. But Biff reaches over the ropes and pulls Vinny up by the hair! Valentine is then brought in the hard way, causing him to beg off. VALENTINE Come on, be cool daddio. His partner's begging causes Biff to hesitate. And Vinny takes advantage with a shot to the midsection. COACH He's still as dumb as a bag of rocks though. Vinny hammers on Biff, then throws him to the ropes. A boot doubles Biff up, setting him up for a kneelift. Cover by Valentine... 1... 2... No! Valentine does a quick dance move over Biff's body, then delivers a well-placed right hand to knock him back down. Biff's fists start to pump and his face reddens. But a knee to the back of his neck keeps him down, for another cover... 1... 2... No! COLE Valentine, showing real contempt for his apparantly former tag team partner. I don't get what his problem is. COACH He's sick of hanging around with a loser. Isn't it obvious? Biff Atlas is the biggest millstone you could hang around someone's neck. And Vinny got sick of carrying it. And having to deal with his idiocy all day, every day. Vinny picks Biff back up. A boot to the gut sets him up again, this time Vinny coming off the ropes and delivering a Swinging Neckbreaker. Hook of the leg this time... 1... 2... No! Running down his one-time partner, Vinny waits for him to start getting up and clubs him across the back. Biff doesn't flinch though. "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" Vinny clubs Biff across the back again. And again. But suddenly, in mid-disco dance, Vinny realises that Biff hasn't felt either of them. Confused, he clubs Biff once more. Biff's eyes widen, a sudden transformation into a Biff Atlas who is IMPERVIOUS TO PAIN! COACH What is this about!? COLE Biff is shrugging off these shots. I think Valentine is simply making him mad. And you won't like Biff Atlas when he's mad! COACH I don't like him now, so of course I wouldn't! Breathing heavily Biff starts to walk towards Vinny, who starts to beg off, trying to calm his friend down. When that doesn't work Vinny punches him in the face. Some friend, huh? Vinny keeps punching Biff. But Biff keeps walking forward. Right hand after right hand, no effect, Biff ZOMBIEING forward until he has Vinny backed against the ropes and trying to beg again! Biff doesn't want to hear it though and NAILS Vinny with a right hand! Another! And a third! COLE Look at Biff unload! Irish whip sends Vinny for the ride, caught on the way back with a Running High Knee to the face! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Eyes wider still Biff circles around the ring, looking in amazement at his own hands. COACH This guy's an idiot! Using those apparantly interesting hands, Biff grabs Vinny by the hair. Picking him up, he traps the fearful Disco Duck in a waistlock and hits a Side Belly To Belly, looking for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling away into a corner, Valentine finds himself trapped again and nailed with another load of right hands. The referee steps in and moves Biff back, with no sign of Atlas stopping. Pulling Vinny out of the corner Biff sets him up, looking for a powerbomb. He lifts Valentine up and starts to run out of the corner... but Vinny slips free. Quickly grabbing the off-balance Biff by the head, he then drops to a knee, driving Biff's face into the other. COLE Ooh, counter by Vinny. Might have just saved himself right there, because Biff was ROLLING. COACH Yeah, it was impressive while it lasted, but you knew it was coming. After all, it's only Biff. Cover by Vinny... 1... 2... No! With Biff stunned Vinny shakes off the effects of the punches he's taken and signals for the end. Gutwrenching Biff, he lifts him up, looking for the tombstone... ...but starts to teeter backwards, Biff kicking his legs repeatedly. And Biff manages to reverse! Picking Vinny up for his own tombstone, Biff adjusts and puts The Disco Duck on his shoulders instead! Vinny flails around, screaming and shouting. But his pleas fall on deaf ears, as Biff positions him and hits the move formerly known as the Bad Hair Day, the DVD into the Michinoku Driver!!! COLE He hits it! Biff got him! COACH You gotta be kiddin'! 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE BIFF WINS! BIFF WINS! *DINGDINGDING!* As if snapping out of a trance, Biff suddenly looks shocked hearing the three count and has to question the referee if he's actually sure that he won. Apparantly he is, so Biff tries his best to remember what it is people do when they celebrate winning. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAAAAAAAATTLLLLAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What was that you said a minute ago, Coach? It's [i]only[/i] Biff Atlas? COACH I admit it, I was wrong. That ain't Biff Atlas! Biff Atlas is a straight-up simp, a stone cold failure! This ain't what Biff Atlas does!! Biff continues to fail to hide his surprise as he celebrates the win. Rolling out of the ring he stares at the fans in amazement as he passes them, reaching out and tagging their hands. COLE It's amazing what a little determination and self-confidence can do. COACH Nah, nah. That ain't enough to turn this fool into a winner. There's got to be some other explaination. COLE Well... then, maybe he really does have superpowers! COACH Ugh! What's next? Sick of talking about this putz. 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