King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted January 15, 2010 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is your First Round Anderson Cup contest, scheduled for one fall! "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" hits and plays James Blonde to the ring, backed up by his Samoan Wrecking Ball, the crazed looking Faqu. BUFFER Introducing team number one. Total combined weight, five hundred and nine pounds. They represent CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and are one half of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... the number 7 seed in the 2010 Anderson Cup... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JJJAAAAAMMMMEEEEESSSS BBLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEE... and, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFAAAAAAQQQUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Faqu approaches the cameraman in front of him and stares down the lens, into YOUR SOUL. Until Blonde drags him away and towards the ring. COLE James Blonde and Faqu, representing Cucaracha Internacional. Seeded partly on the strength of their success as part of an eight man team in 2009. But certainly a capable team in their own right. COACH So how's the OAOAST gonna play these guys like this? The only reigning tag team champions in the Anderson Cup. And they don't even get to know who their opponents are!? COLE First off, they're tag team champions, with two other partners. Which they won't be tonight. And they are facing a mystery team tonight, mystery entrants into this year's Anderson Cup, which if you ask me is pretty exciting for us and for the fans. Don't you like surprises? COACH I like surprises. I bet JB and Faqu don't. Hopping up and down Blonde stays limber as he goes over long and lengthy instructions with Faqu. The Samoan just nods his head and ocassionally grunts, while wiggling his fingers ready to fight. BUFFER And now, ladies and gentlemen, introducing their opponents! An expectant cheer goes up as Blonde continues to lay the law down to his Samoan buddy. COLE Who's it going to be? COACH I dunno, but I've got a bad feeling about this. COLE How so? COACH Well... [i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend![/color][/font][/i] "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!~!!~~!" COACH Aw, damnit. The Chicago crowd erupt and pandemonium breaks out in the stands as the familiar strains of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne bounce through the arena. Stopping in mid-instruction, James Blonde freezes, slowly turning his head back towards the stage with pure dread in his eyes. [i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend![/color][/font][/i] On the verge of tears, James Blonde grabs the referee by the shirt and drops to his knees, PLEADING with him, "not [i]them[/i]... [i]anyone[/i] but them." "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" But it IS them, CHICKS OVER DICKS, riding out on the motorised platform holding "ALIX'S BAR" to another HUGE reaction from the fans. Alix lays across the bar with a big smile on her face and a wave to the crowd, while the returning Krista is busy behind the bar mixing cocktails and serving drinks. To herself. BUFFER Introducing, the record-shattering former FOUR-TIME OAOAST World Tag Team Champions!! Hailing from Los Angeles, California! The team of, the reigning OAOAST United States Champion, "THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL", ALIX MMMAAAAARRRRIIIIAAAAA SSSSSPPEEEEEEZZZIIIIIIAAAAAA!!!! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are your #2 seeds in the Anderson Cup, the incomparable... CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Alix jumps up and wings a couple of frisbees deep into the crowd, starting a couple of mini-riots to grab them and sell them on eBay, before it dies out under the weight of forced free postage and corporate mis-management. Tearing herself away from the free liqour she's surrounded by, Krista struts down the entrance ramp, which resembles a makeshift catwalk, complete with glitter carpeting the floor. A wind machine kicks into action to softly blow Krista hair around, startling Alix as she blows her magic super-imposed lips causing kiss to the camera, before complaining about the cold breeze. Behind her, Krista is suddenly hounded by photographers and journalists all dressed in black, jotting down notes on a notepad. At the end of the catwalk, Krista stops and strikes a pose. Before noticing Alix is in her way and has filled up the screen with dozens of special effect lipstick marks. KRISTA We really need separate entrances next time. ALIX Agreed. Krista jumps to the apron and hangs herself upside down on the third rope, giving the crowd an alluring and much-missed bird's eye view, while Alix slides into the ring and waves jubilantly to the fans. COLE What a moment! What a surprise! Chicks Over Dicks are back! And they're in the Anderson Cup! COACH I hate surprises. Having vacated to the floor, James Blonde looks on in despair while keeping Faqu held back. Chicks Over Dicks rule the ring and play to the Chicago crowd for a while, because... well, hey, why not? They're Chicks Over Dicks. They can do what they want. COLE This changes the entire complexion of the 2010 Anderson Cup. Chicks Over Dicks, the former four-time Tag Team Champions, in the field of eight. Or, as it is currently, seven. And every other team left in the Anderson Cup's hearts must have sunk the moment they saw Krista and Alix come to the ring, not least the heart of James Blonde. As COD continue the hog the spotlight, the camera zoom in on Krista's right arm, which is wrapped in a light cast. COLE And I guess now we have to wonder, how close to 100% is Krista? We haven't seen her since she was robbed of the OAOAST World Title at the Halloween Spectacular by Reject, after she had suffered a broken arm at the hands of Leon Rodez of course. COACH It's been like two and a half months. There's no way she's 100% healed. COLE Well I do know that Krista's recent diagnoses were quite optimistic about the severity of the break and the time she would be out. But, even so, you have to wonder if Krista has rushed back too soon, in time for the Anderson Cup. Let's hope not. Prancing and posing over Chicks Over Dicks finally concede to the referee that they're ready for the mundanity of actually having to wrestle. However, Blonde doesn't look quite so ready and stalls on the outside while Krista and Alix kick back and discuss Spring vacation plans. COACH Cole, I'm not a doctor... COLE Really!? COACH ...but I know some stuff. And I know it can take years for a broken bone to completely heal. Not months. Not weeks. Years. So Krista ain't 100%. And that arm's gonna be a bullseye for everyone she's in that ring with in the near future. Finally getting into the ring, Blonde looks across at COD with a distinct lack of confidence. Alix convinces Krista to let her start the match and finally we're ready to go. *DINGDINGDING!* ALIX YIPPEE! WAHOO! YE-HA! WHOO-HO! Jumping up and down in wild celebration like something out of a Disney teen flick, Alix seems very happy to hear the bell for some reason. ALIX WAHEY! WHOOP WHOOP! YAZZOO! BLONDE Hey. Hey, calm down. ALIX I CAN'T! I'M TOO EXCITED! BLONDE Just... just settle down. ALIX I JUST WANT TO JUMP! AND WAVE MY HANDS! AND KICK MY FEET UP BEHIND ME! LIKE THIS! BLONDE Would you knock it off? What are you so excited about!? What!? ALIX THIS! Alix makes one final jump and bonks Blonde on the head with a double axehandle blow! Blonde quickly rolls away to the ropes and rubs the top of his head, as Alix chuckles to herself, in such a way that it's obvious to everyone in the arena that she's chuckling. So, not to herself at all. COLE This could be a long night for James Blonde. Pulling on the rope in frustration, Blonde stomps around the ring with his hands on his hips. Alix decides to do the same thing and mock the pouting Blonde, which just makes him even madder. After circling, pounting and stomping, they lock up. Blonde grabs a side headlock but doesn't dare celebrate yet. Still mocking, Alix stands in the headlock with her hands on her hips and a pout on her face. Blonde yells at her to "stop it" again, which she doesn't, so he ends up pouting for real. COLE Come on. There's no sulking in wrestling! Alix gets tired of mocking Blonde, at least while having her head squeezed, so looks to escape. Stomping on Blonde's toes, she slips out of the headlock into one of her own. Blonde quickly shoves Alix off, into the ropes. A shoulder tackle knocks her down, for a cover... 1... No, Alix quickly out. COACH That's right JB, show her what a man can do! COLE You mean stuff like pouting? Locking up again, Blonde grabs the side headlock. Alix quickly shoves Blonde into the ropes though. As he comes back Alix prepares to knock Blonde down with a shoulder tackle. But JB comes out on top and covers again... 1... No, Alix kicks out. Another lock up sees Alix get the headlock this time. Working his way out Blonde delivers a shot to the gut before he throws Alix to the ropes. As he lowers his shoulder though, Alix takes a step to the left and runs right past him. Blonde turns around and tries again, but over-compensates, allowing Alix to step to the right and keep going. Getting frustrate, JB tries the shoulder again. And again. But Alix continues to dodge, until she's built enough speed to hit a flying shoulder block and knock Blonde off his feet!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah! Showing you what a woman can do! Cover by Alix... 1... 2... No! Blonde is out and fuming, as Alix has had her fun and tags in Krista. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" As Krista steps in, Blonde ducks out, not in any hurry to lock it up with the former World Champion. COLE And a warm welcome back for Krista from this Chicago crowd. "MAKE HIM EAT YOUR BUTT!" screams one clearly drunken fan as Krista squares off with Blonde. Krista dodges behind Blonde and gets him in a waistlock, only for Blonde to switch it around. Krista ducks behind, into a hammerlock. Countering into his own hammerlock Blonde then gets the side headlock, giving him a little confidence as he exchanges holds with Krista. Shooting the Canadian off the ropes, Krista drops down. Blonde navigates that, then goes under a leapfrog, charging back off the ropes... KRISTA [size=5][color=red][b]STOP![/b][/color][/size] ...Blonde slams on the brakes and gets slapped across the face by Krista! KRISTA Heh heh, you actually stopped. Angrily Blonde lunges at Krista, who swoops underneath and hits the ropes. A drop down by Blonde buys him time to throw up his own hands at the oncoming Krista... BLONDE [size=5][color=red][b]STOP![/b][/color][/size] ...Krista slams on the brakes, and then slaps Blonde across the face again! "YYYYAAAAAAAYYYY!!" COLE Can't kid a kidder. Another missed lunge allows Krista to run the ropes once more. A leapfrog this time from Blonde, forcing Krista to come off the ropes again... BLONDE [size=5][color=red][b]STOOOOPPP![/b][/color][/size] Krista slows down and just looks at Blonde with disdain. KRISTA You realise, I'm just going to slap you. BLONDE Uh... not if I slap you first! KRISTA Well, if you slap me first, I'll just slap you back and tear your face off. BLONDE OH MY GOD LOOK UP THERE! As Blonde points to the ceiling trying to distract Krista, she just groans and shakes her head. KRISTA I'm not going to look up there. I'm going to slap you. BLONDE But, now I know it's coming. KRISTA Doesn't matter, I'll still slap you. BLONDE Yeah, but... your shoe is untied. KRISTA My shoe isn't untied. BLONDE Yeah, it's untied. Totally untied. KRISTA So, if I look down at my shoe to check to see if it's tied, you're telling me that you're not going to try and slap me? BLONDE I promise that I won't slap you. KRISTA I'm not sure I believe you. I mean, for one thing... oh, hey, is that Landon over there? BLONDE Where!? Blonde turns around, sees no sign of Landon, turns back around... and Krista slaps him across the face!! "YYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!" COACH Oh lord. As Blonde bumbles around holding his face, he gets rolled up by Krista... 1... 2... Kickout! Blonde stomps his feet and kicks up a fuss as he gets back up. Having had his fill of COD's antics, the Canadian then tags in Faqu and instructs him to take care of Krista. COLE Just like that, the fun and games may be over. The big Samoan steps into the ring and beats his chest, before charging at Krista. By the time he gets to where Krista was standing though, Miss California has gone, slapping Alix on the shoulder before she slips out of the ring. KRISTA Go get him Ally. I believe in you. Alix slowly gets into the ring, not looking so sure as her partner. Faqu backs up, retracing his steps, then tries to charge his new opponent... ...who tags right back out to Krista. ALIX Uhm, I believe in you more, you get him. COLE Krista and Alix unable to decide who's going to square off with Faqu. And Faqu looks a little frustrated. He just wants someone to tear into, whoever it is. Both stood on the apron, Krista and Alix have a little lovers spat while Faqu stares on blankly. The two go back and forth, "tagging" each other. Blonde urges the referee from his corner to force one of the two to get in the ring. Eventually, Krista agrees to a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide. Which she wins via forfeit as she chooses paper, while Alix chooses the Wu Tang hand sign. ALIX Gah, every time! COACH Come on, Wu Tang should totally beat paper! As Alix climbs back into the ring, Faqu retreats again. Beating his chest, he roars out and charges across the ring again, but comes to a stop as Alix calmly walks off to the side. Faqu flies into a rage this time and charges at Alix one final time, only to go flying up over the top as Alix pulls the rope down on him! COLE What a fool I was! The fun and games never stop with Chicks Over Dicks! Faqu jumps back up and starts flipping out on the arena floor, storming after timekeepers and camera man as Blonde tries desperately to calm the savage Samoan down. Once he gets Faqu under control, Blonde tries to lead him back to the ring. As they approach the apron, they both look up to see Alix, leaping to the top rope and plummeting down onto them with a beautiful body press to the arena floor!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Alix rolls off of Faqu and rolls back into the ring, busting out a sexy disco dance. COLE Vinny Valentine, eat your heart out! Slapping the ring apron in a rage, Faqu climbs back in and goes after Alix again. A dropdown from Alix sends Faqu into the path of Krista, who has wandered down the apron, simply to pull the ropes down on Faqu again! COACH Oh come on! COLE Chicks Over Dicks, taming the beast here on their return to HeldDOWN~! Faqu gets back up again, and gets knocked right back down by Krista's cannonball dive off the apron!!!! COLE And Krista getting in on the act! COD have not lost a step in their absence! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" While the commotion is going on on the outside, inside, James Blonde rolls back in and attacks a distracted Alix from behind. Boos rain down on Blonde as he clubs away at Alix's back, then stomps her into the mat. The referee tells Blonde to leave the ring but he pitches a fit back at him, before picking Alix up and whipping her to the ropes. Alix catches Blonde while he's still arguing with the official though, wrapping her legs around with a headscissors takedown. Back up, Blonde goes for a clothesline. But Alix ducks and Krista returns to the apron to pull the ropes down on The Trendsetter this time! COLE That broken arm not affecting Krista's ability to lower that top rope. Blonde and Faqu pick themselves up on the floor, as Alix prepares to dive again. Running across the ring, she vaults over the top rope, aided by Krista's magic rope pulling trick, WIPING OUT BLONDE AND FAQU WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE I don't care if Krista's 100% or not. So far, she's kicking two people's asses without laying a finger on them. That's impressive, even by Krista's standards! COACH If she wants to impress me, she'll quit pulling the ropes down and pull her skirt down instead. Until then, not interested! Alix rolls back in to tag Krista, making her legal. The former World Champion throws Faqu back inside and then heads to the top rope. As she leaves the top Faqu instinctively ducks his head, forcing Krista to improvise. She tries a top rope sunset flip, but even her momentum off the top can't bring Faqu down and he gets his balance, before sitting out, aiming to squash Krista's ample chest. Luckily for all concerned, Krista moves out of the way. Faqu lands hard on the mat and takes a low dropkick to the face, before being held down for the pin... 1... 2... No! Firing a couple of quick kicks into Faqu's doughy midsection, Krista hits the ropes. A swipe from Faqu is ducked by Miss California, coming back off the far ropes with another dropkick. Faqu wobbles, but doesn't go down. Which troubles Krista. COACH Now you done it. Let's see what good pulling the rope down does you now. Krista thinks over her strategy before coming off the ropes again. With a dropkick not enough Krista decides to fling her entire body at Faqu, figuring that will do the job. But Faqu catches Krista! Faqu then hurls Krista to the mat with a uranage, bouncing her head off the canvas!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Yeah~! COLE Teasing the beast was fun, but Krista got too close to the animal's jaws and she paid for it. With Krista left holding her back of her head, Blonde demands the tag and runs in to make the cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde stomps Krista in the ribs. And again. Reaching down, Blonde then grabs the arm, causing Krista to panic and kick him in the BUTT. COLE Uh-oh, watch that arm. Not appreciating the kick, Blonde drops to his knees and chokes Krista, then makes another cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde looks down at Krista and suddenly gets a rush of blood to the head, trying to surprise her with the LIONSAULT... but Krista rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home on that one! Not sure that was a great idea on Blonde's part, if you've got Krista down you've got to take advantage while you can. Holding his stomach as he gets back up Blonde gets struck across the face with an elbow. And a second. Loading up, Krista then prepares to use her cast as a weapon to crush JB's face once and for all. The referee jumps in to block this illegal shot though, allowing Blonde to hit a quick knee to the gut. Krista falls backwards into her opponent's corner and into the clutches of Faqu, who reaches over the ropes and starts to maul her. Able to break free, Krista hangs Faqu's throat across the top rope though. COACH If only the chick in King Kong had a rope she could have used to escape. COLE Look out though! Krista takes a second too long to turn around and when she does, Blonde has sprung to the middle rope and fires off a dropkick, sending Krista flying through the ropes to the arena floor!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Great springboard dropkick by Blonde and that may have turned the tide right there! Pleased with himself Blonde walks across the ring and taunts Alix, drawing her into the ring. Meanwhile on the outside, Faqu picks up Krista and starts mauling her again, then runs her back-first into the ring apron! Faqu prepares to do even more damage, but Blonde instructs him to throw Krista back inside so she can be pinned... 1... 2... No! Blonde argues the count with the referee while Krista groans in pain beside him. COACH Now we're seeing Faqu and JB in action. A great team with a great dynamic, a great strategy. COLE A strategy which seems to be Blonde telling Faqu "you do the damage and I'll get the glory." COACH Exactly! A great strategy. If you've got a 300 pound Samoan in your corner, you're not going to tell him to do wacky little dances and strut around the ring, are you? Why buy a dog and then bark yourself? Tag is made, bringing Faqu in. After some instructions from Blonde, they throw Krista off with a double whip. Blonde drops down, forcing Krista to run right into the path of a Samoan Wrecking Ball, just smashing her down to the ground with all his Samoan might! As Alix looks on with concern, Faqu walks around his fallen opponent. Off the ropes, he then crushes Krista beneath the weight of a BIG Splash!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH That's gonna do it! Count ref! 1... 2... NO! COLE We almost saw the end of Krista right there. 300 pounds, crashing down on her and yet still, able to kick out. COACH I ain't even surprised anymore. I don't know what this woman has that makes her so resiliant, but she's got a lot of it. Also, her funbags worked like airbags then. Faqu looks confused at the fact Krista kicked out, so Blonde calls him over to tag in and keep the momentum, and keep Krista from making the tag. He drags Krista back into the middle of the ring and drops an elbow to the back. Blonde then hits a double stomp to the back, arching Krista's spine awkwardly. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Apparantly distracted by the crowd, Blonde suddenly takes a detour and knocks Alix off the apron!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That was a cheapshot! Blonde laughs it up as he goes to pick Krista up, but isn't laughing for long, as he's surprised with a jawbreaker! Bad back and all, Krista then connects with a 360 enziguri, rapping Blonde across the side of the head! The crowd cheer and Krista quickly rolls over the top of Blonde, over to the corner to make the tag. Only problem being, Alix is still picking herself up on the outside. COLE No-one to tag! What bad luck for Chicks Over Dicks! Not able to hang around for her girlfriend, a frustrated Krista is forced to go back in and fight for herself. As Blonde gets to his feet Krista puts her back to the test again and launches herself onto Blonde's shoulder, looking for a hurricanrana. But Blonde counters with a POWERBOMB!! 1... 2... NO!! COLE Two and a half, that was a close one for Krista! COACH Give it up for the brains of James Blonde though, to take Alix out of the equation. This man has learned so much from his mentor, Landon Maddix. He's like a mini-version. A spitting image. COLE A creepy stalker who dresses up as you and follows you everywhere you go. Yeah, I see what you're saying there Coach. Tag is made to Faqu again, Blonde more firm with his instructions with the Samoan, to finish Krista off. Alix picks herself back up and gets back onto the apron, far too late for Krista's benefit. Dragged up by the hair, Krista is scooped and slammed in the centre of the ring. Faqu beats his chest, Blonde nodding with a smile as he looks on. Backing into the ropes, Faqu then measures Krista and drives his head... INTO THE MAT, as Krista avoids a jumping headbutt! COACH Didn't phase him! Didn't phase him! Thanks to his traditionally hard Samoan cranium Faqu is right back up and right after Krista. A clothesline is ducked by KID though. Seeing the turnbuckles in front of her Krista runs towards them, vaulting off the middle rope. Her attempted crossbody ends with her getting CAUGHT in Faqu's arms, for the second time in the match. This time though Krista has the counter, kicking her legs until she manages to swing herself around and drive Faqu's head into the mat again with a DDT!! COACH Didn't phase him... did it? Faqu is quickly back up again, but much slower to attack this time. COLE I think it may have rattled the big guy. Taking aim, Krista PUNTS Faqu in the stomach with the toe of her platform heels. With a grown, Faqu doubles up. Krista then comes off the ropes and takes a big swing with her bad arm, clocking Faqu right in the head... ...and watching as he slowly topples backwards to the mat!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH SHE HIT HIM WITH THE CAST! COLE And Faqu might be out cold! COACH SHE HIT HIM WITH HER CAST, COLE! That should be a disqualification! That's a weapon, a foreign object! The referee does reprimand Krista for her use of the cast, but not nearly enough for James Blonde's liking. He storms into the ring to confront the ref, completely ignoring Krista, who's able to crawl to the corner and make the tag to Alix! ALIX AW YEAH~! Alix leaps into the ring and runs right through Blonde with a clothesline. A second clothesline. And then a third, Ultimate Warrior style, MISTER WARRIOR style even, as she shakes the ropes like a mad(wo)man!! Blonde staggers around right into Alix, who takes The Trendsetter by the head and introduces his face to the top turnbuckle. Literally. Before ramming them together. Taking Blonde by the hair again, she throws him into the opposite turnbuckle. Then down the line to the third corner. And all the way over to the fourth, not wanting to make any of the turnbuckles feel neglected. COLE Look at Alix go, like a wildcat! COACH Like a crazy woman, you mean? This bitch is a wacko! Stumbling and bumbling like a drunk, Blonde throws some punches at non-existant figures in front of him. Alix stops and enjoys this for a second, before delivering a russian legsweep. Rolling through to her feet Alix follows up with a BUTT drop on Blonde's chest and sits on him by way of a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The US Champion quickly climbs to the top rope, waggling her BUTT at the appreciative fans. She then takes flight with a flying crossbody... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Boy, Alix is ROLLING here. As Blonde gets back up, Alix is waiting, a serious fighting stance adopted. She slaps her palm into Blonde's chest. Then his stomach. And then his jaw. A kick to the knee drops Blonde down. Alix then pulls up on her shorts, gives herself a wedgie and smacks her BUTT into the kneeling Blonde's face! COLE Alix showing off an extensive BUTT-based offence here. COACH I ain't complaining. Cover by Alix... 1... 2... NO! Alix waves Blonde back up, but stops, ridding herself of the wedgie and the painful chaffing it can cause. COACH Okay, now I can complain again. Whipped to the corner, Blonde manages to duck his head and avoid any further problems by backdropping Alix over the top rope. Alix lands safely on the apron though, leaping up and cracking Blonde in the back of the head with an enziguri from the outside! Blonde stumbles out of the corner, into Krista, who hits the Side Effect! COLE Blonds Never Pay A Cover! Alix then comes off the top rope with a Frog Splash!! 1... 2... FAQU BREAKS IT UP!! COLE Uh-oh. After striking Alix in the back, Faqu attempts to strike Krista in the front, only for the 2009 Wrestler Of The Year to drop and crawl through the Samoan's legs. Faqu grunts and turns around, to find COD waiting with a double dropkick. Faqu doesn't go down, so they hit another double dropkick. Still he stays up. FAQU BLAAAAARAAWHAAGHGAAWWAAHH!!!! Faqu hurls himself forward with a double clothesline... ...but COD duck and hit a double dropkick to the back, sending Faqu out to the floor!! COLE That deals with that problem. Back up, Blonde gets the jump on Krista, knocking her to the mat. Avoiding a strike from Alix, Blonde then hooks the US Champ and makes a FASHION STATEMENT, with an Inverted DDT! Leg hooked... 1... 2... SAVE BY KRISTA. COLE Blonde trying to sneak in the back door and pull out the shock for the number 7 seeds. I don't like their chances right now though. COACH There's a surprise. Blonde takes the fight to Krista, managing to fend her off with some shots to the ribs. Blonde then hits the ropes, but runs into a standing dropkick! Jumping back to her feet, Krista positions herself at Blonde's side and the Chicago crowd voice their approval. However, Alix puts a stop to the booty shaking! COACH WHAT? BOOOOOOOO!! Before the crowd have a chance to boo the party-pooper though, Alix reveals that she just wants to join in. And to the DOUBLE delight of the crowd, it's a DOUBLE BOOTY SHAKING MOONSAULT!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH I wish Krista and Alix were just their asses. They'd be so much better that way. COLE Way to be a modern man, Coach. Blonde picks himself up with Chicks Over Dicks ready and waiting. Not as exciting as it may sound. Krista dishes out a slap. And then so does Alix. And they high-five. Blonde has had enough mis-treatment by this point and screams at them to "STOP SLAPPING ME!", as he tries to slap them both in retaliation. Both Krista and Alix duck though, leading to a dose of KIDOLOGY from Krista!!!! Before Blonde can fall to the mat, Alix quickly spins him around and follows it up with CONFESSIONS OF A KRISTAHOLIC!!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH Aah! I hate them so much except their asses! By mutual decision, it's Krista with the cover... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! COLE Chicks Over Dicks, moving on in the Anderson Cup!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the Semi Finals of the 2010 Anderson Cup... ALIX MARIA SPEZIA and KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN... CCHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSS OOOVVVVEEEEERRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COD kiss, another popular move, before their hands are raised in victory. COACH You know what, I thought this'd be a new year. I thought this'd be different. I was so looking forward to 2010 and everything it was going to hold. New year. New decade. And now, Chicks Over Dicks are back, Krista's back, they're kicking people's asses again, they're making people look like chumps... I dunno what to think anymore. COLE Oh, man up already. COACH Sorry. As Chicks Over Dicks celebrate their win, Faqu lopes around ringside, waiting as the referee rolls Blonde's body out of the ring. COLE The face of the Anderson Cup has completely changed. To a sad face, if you're anyone except Chicks Over Dicks. The #2 seeds now, perhaps, the team to beat. Can anyone stop COD? We'll have more Anderson Cup action next week on HeldDOWN~! to see who else will make it to those big semi-finals, until then, goodnight from the OAOAST! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
