King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted January 15, 2010 As we return to HeldDOWN~!, "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats plays. And to a surprisingly warm reaction Biff Atlas heads to the ring, deep in concentration. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, from Bloomington, Indiana. Weighing one hundred, ninety nine pounds... JACK O'REILLY!! The youngster flicks back his long black hair and raises a fist. BUFFER And his opponent, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFF AAAATTLLLLLAAAAASSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff climbs into the ring and stands in his corner, fidgeting back and forth on his toes. The referee goes to check him over for weapons, which is made difficult by Biff's inability to stay still. COLE The OAOAST Galaxy really warming to Biff Atlas, especially since the break up of he and Vinny Valentine. And Biff looks amped up and ready to go tonight. Will he be as amped up on January 31st, when he's a part of the 30 Man over the top rope Lethal Rumble Match? Biff doesn't have a great track record. But, maybe this will be his year! COACH What!? Get outta here with that talk! *DINGDINGDING* As the bell rings, Biff suddenly goes through a strange transformation. Letting out a loud roar he muscles up and marches a surprised O'Reilly right back into the corner, clubbing him with hard shots! Biff continues to club away until the referee moves Biff back. COLE Biff just laying it in on his opponent here tonight! A new Biff Atlas, we're seeing. Biff grabs O'Reilly and whips him out of the corner across the ring. Following him in, Biff then knocks O'Reilly off his feet with a clothesline in the opposite corner! COACH I don't care how impressive Biff looks, or how "new" you say he is. He's still a loser. And he [i]doesn't[/i] have superpowers! Lifting O'Reilly back up, Biff clubs away in the corner some more. Whipping O'Reilly back across the ring the loveable oaf then tries for another clothesline, but runs into the raised knee of the youngster. With Biff staggered, O'Reilly then hits a quick neckbreaker and goes for the pin... 1... 2... No! O'Reilly slaps on a rear chinlock, knee pressed into Biff's back. COACH Now, hold up. Did you say earlier that Biff had a "bad track record" in the Rumble? Wanna expand on that? COLE Well... Biff Atlas does hold the record for quickest elimination in Lethal Rumble history, lasting 9 seconds last year... COACH That's better. COLE ...but, I'm telling you, this is a different Biff. Especially compared to last year, when Biff was lucky not to be eliminated by spotting his own shadow and diving over the ropes to try and escape. With the support of the fans Biff fights back to his feet and turns into O'Reilly, breaking apart his hands to escape the chinlock. Booting him in the gut, Biff lays into O'Reilly with a right hand. A second. And a third. Biff then backs off the ropes, but O'Reilly ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Biff in the back, sending him through the ropes to the floor with a thud. COACH Ha! That's a great omen, huh? COLE Except he went through the ropes, not over the top. COACH Gee, that's progress. Biff picks himself back up and seethes to himself as he drags himself onto the apron. A knee from the inside softens him up, O'Reilly looking to bring him back in with a suplex. And does, floating over with a cover... 1... 2... No! "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" The Chicago crowd make themselves heard. Including by Biff. O'Reilly delivers a shot to the back, which Biff absorbs. And a second, also having little effect. O'Reilly keeps on trying. But Biff isn't feeling a thing and climbs back to his feet, shaking his head and the shocked rookie. Trying to cut Biff off, O'Reilly goes for a boot. But Biff catches it, spinning O'Reilly around and walloping him with a clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Here comes Biff! Grabbing O'Reilly, Biff delivers a headbutt. He then whips him to the ropes and delivers a big SPEAR, turning O'Reilly inside out!! COLE Oh what a spear! You'd think he could break through a solid brick wall, with that kind of super strength! COACH So you're encouraging him now? Great. With his opponent curled up in a ball holding his ribs, Biff looks around the crowd, still a little surprised that they're cheering him. And who could blame him I guess. Picking O'Reilly back up, Biff lifts the youngster up onto his shoulders. Biff lets out a shout, then turns and throws him off, hitting the DVD/Michinoku Driver of no name... 1... 2... 3!!!! COLE And that'll do it. Biff looking impressive. *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBIIIIIFFFF... AAAATTLLLAAAASSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff stands back up and looks a little surprised again, obviously as used to winning as he is being cheered. He raises his hands in victory all the same. COLE Are we looking at the winner of the 2010 Lethal Rumble? COACH What is WRONG with you!? COLE Stranger things have happened. COACH No they haven't. They really, really haven't. Biff marches back up the aisle, even slapping a few hands on the way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
