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Patty O'Green

OAOAST Anglepalooza 2010

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TV 14

L, V

 

PRESENTED IN HD

 

We cold open to Michael Buffer standing in a purple spotlight in the center of the ring.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the OAOAST stage New York's own.....ALICIA KEYS!

 

The sold out Madison Sqaure Garden audience explodes with cheers and applause for the platinum selling recording artist!

 

As Alicia sings clips of famous landmarks and areas in New York are mixed in with footage of the OAOAST superstars at their heights of excellence.......

 

(skip to 3:00)

 

Man that saved me from writing an intro!

 

*DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *

 

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight.

 

oao2.jpg

 

THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!

TONIGHT!

 

~THE OAOAST LETHAL RUMBLE~

 

Bohemoth, Leon Rodez, Spencer Reiger, Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Sandman, Baron Windells, CMJ, ThunderKid, Tim Cash, and more!

~THE OAOAST LETHAL RUMBLE~

 

BOOM BOOOM BOOOM BOOM

 

The pyro explodes and the New York city audience is delirious with excitement for the 2010 Anglepalooza! Sitting at sofa central wearing their Anglemania baseball jerseys are the voices of the OAOAST Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman.

 

COLE

Folks welcome to New York City, we are live from Madison Square Garden with OAOAST Anglepalooza! Our thanks to Jay-Z and Alicia Keys for their beautiful performance. And what a way to start of the road to Anglemania with a match that has serious Anglemania implications. I'm talking about the world championship match between Alfdogg and Reject.

 

COACH

We starting this show off right, Mikey, with a big victory for Reject and the Deadly Alliance.

 

COLE

I don't think Alfdogg is going to give up the belt without one heck of a fight, and I know these loyal Alfdogg supporters in New York feel the exact same way.

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(I'm revolutionizing the game with this match on first!)

 

The New York crowd was largely on the side of the hometown challenger, Reject, creating a Bizarro World-type crowd reaction. Alf controlled the early stages of the first fall with mat wrestling, but Reject was ultimately able to turn the tide on the outside, sending Alf into the steel stairs. Reject went through his offense in the ring, scoring several near-falls. However, Alf was able to turn the tide with a AA spinebuster, leaving both men laying on the mat. Both men pulled their way to their feet, where Alf won a slugfest, then delivered an overhead belly-to-belly and a T-Bone. Reject tried to escape to the outside as Alf grabbed his foot, and came up with a steel chair as the referee backed Alf away. Reject grabbed the chair, and slammed it into Alf's ankle from behind, earning a DQ for the first fall!

 

Alfdogg wins first fall (normal match) by DQ

 

Reject fell down a fall by DQ, but Alf seemed easy prey for the second fall, a submission match, with his now-injured ankle. Reject worked over the ankle relentlessly, then hooks Alf's own Sharpshooter to the cheers of his home fans. Alf, after an intense struggle, manages to somehow reverse the hold into his own Sharpshooter! However, Reject easily makes the ropes with Alf's weakened state. Action spills to the outside, where Reject grabs the chair again, but Alf executes a drop toe-hold, sending Reject into the chair on the floor! Alf then pulls himself to his feet, and grabs the chair, cracking Reject over the skull! Reject rolls onto the announce table, which Alf pulls apart, then climbs on and gets Reject in a standing headscissors. Reject drops to one knee and delivers a low blow, then sets up a suplex, but Alf escapes, and drops Reject through the table with his own Eulogy! Both men lay motionless in the wreckage, then make their way back into the ring slowly. Both men trade moves briefly, until Reject eventually counters an Alf tombstone into one of his own, then locks in the R-Lock! Alf attempts to reach the ropes, but Reject pulls him to the center, then drops down and grapevines him, and Alf taps out to even the score!

 

Reject wins second fall (submission match)

 

Reject goes outside and grabs the ladder from the aisle, and immediately begins a climb. Alf recovers just in time to shove the ladder over, hanging Reject over the top rope at the waist. Alf crawls over and shoves Reject over to the floor, then pulls himself, on one ankle, up the ladder. Reject gets back in, and pulls his good foot out from under him, causing him to fall back to the mat. The two go through several sequences with the ladder, using it as a weapon, and executing high risk moves off of it. Alf finally gets to the top of the ladder, but opts to deliver a five-star Alf splash onto Reject from it instead of grabbing the belt, then goes to the outside and grabs a table. He sets it up, at which point Sandman runs in and hammers on Alf. Alf eventually manages to suplex Sandman to the floor, then begins to climb the ladder, until TK slides in in the corner, then uses the chair as a stepping stone to spear Alf off the ladder through the table! That was finally all Alf could take, as Reject was able to come to, climb the ladder, and grab his second OAOAST World title! TK and Sandman carry the bloodied Reject to the back, through the roars of his native town.

 

Reject wins third fall (ladder match)

 

Winner and NEW OAOAST World champion: Reject

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The OAOAST Asks the OAOAST Galaxy: Who will win the 2010 Lethal Rumble

 

We cut to earlier footage outside Madison Square Garden where numerous fans are lined up to give their opinion on the 30 man battle roayl....

 

MALE FAN

Its gonna be Christian Wright because he has the best draw in the rumble!

 

FEMALE FAN

I think Baron Windells will win because he’s awesome!

 

MALE FAN 2

The Human Hard On Mister Dick is gonna pull out a miracle!

 

MALE FAN 3

Landon Maddix always has a plan so I think he’s going to win.

 

FEMALE FAN 2

Bohemoth has got momentum and stuff, I think he might win.

 

MALE FAN 4

Faqu! Faqu! Faqu! Faqu!

 

FEMALE FAN 3

I think Zack Malibu will be a surprise entrant and win the whole thing!

THE GALAXY SPEAKS!

 

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BUFFER

OAOAST Marks, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

“Tom Sawyer“ by Rush cues and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez leads the Can-Am Assassins ringside.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, the challengers. Led down the aisle by LINDSAY GONZALEZ, at a total combine weight of 488 pounds… “AFTER HOURS” FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM AAAASSSSAAAASSSSSINNNNSSSS!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Strutter poses on the middle turnbuckle while Pantera stretches, knee bandaged and all.

 

COLE

There you see the knee of Ken Pantera heavily taped after he was sneak-attacked by the LDC Moneygang this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated. In case you missed, here‘s what happened.

 

Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated

This Past Weekend

 

Some poor jobber is placed in THE FULL NELSON and swung around by Pantera.

 

VENTURA

It’s all over but the crying, Schiavone. This guy won’t last long.

 

The jobber submits.

 

SCHIAVONE

Right you are, Jesse.

 

VENTURA

I’m always right. Don’t you forget it.

 

SCHIAVONE

Big win for the Can-Am Assassins heading into Anglepalooza this Sunday on pay-per… Wait a second!

 

The LDC Moneygang hit the ring and all hell breaks loose as they and the CAA go at it. Pantera sends Reiger down and goes to assist Strutter, but Reiger pops up and delivers a devastating chop block!

 

SCHIAVONE

Oh--Oh, no.

 

VENTURA

Pantera made a costly mistake and paid for it. Never turn your back on an opponent.

 

OAOAST official swarm the area to restore order.

 

COLE

In many people’s minds the uncrown tag team champions, tonight the Can-Am Assassins get another shot at the gold and this time the odds are even with Lindsay Gonzalez in their corner to combat Lorelei DeCenzo.

 

COACH

Like that sweet little angel would interfere. And I know what you’re gonna say, Cole, so don’t bother. Lorelei’s gone over that twice already. She was just looking for her missing contact lens.

 

COLE

And I’m really straight. Give me a break!

 

“The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits to a fairly large pop, but not enough to completely drown out the boo birds.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!!

 

Flanked by green and gold spotlights, Reiger plays to the hometown crowd. His partner, a Boston native, isn’t so warmly received, however. CMJ heckled by obnoxious Yankees fans still basking in the glory of their 27th championship.

 

COLE

We always knew New Yorkers were a unique bunch and they’re proving it again tonight.

 

COACH

Translation: you can’t believe a lot of them are cheering for the LDC Moneygang.

 

The pre-match garb is removed and the titles are handed to referee Charles Robinson, who holds them up for all to see. After some last second words both teams are ready to go.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

CMJ and Strutter elect to start, but a loud “WE WANT REIGER” chants prompts a change. Reiger struts in and offers a NY handshake, which Strutter swats away in favor of a HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK!

 

LORELEI

:angry:

 

Reiger rolls outside for a breather, but too close to the ropes he gets leveled by a baseball slide! Strutter dumps him back in and performs a SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA!!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

SAVE BY CMJ!

 

Pantera enters and the Can-Am Assassins double-team CMJ. They deck CMJ with a double back elbow and then Pantera press slams Strutter onto him! Reiger charges forward, but Strutter ducks a wild right and executes a BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX with an assist from Pantera, who simultaneously delivers a clothesline!

 

The count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

Reiger gets the shoulder up.

 

The CAA tag following a snap suplex and Pantera drops a big elbow.

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Pantera looks to ram Reiger into the buckle, but Reiger puts on the brakes and Pantera crashes in. Reiger proceeds to unload in the corner, which includes choking Pantera with the draw string of his shorts!

 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

 

Luckily for Reiger, he disguises the choke well enough to trick the ref into thinking it’s with his hand, not string. CMJ tags in and immediately delivers a series of leg strikes.

 

COLE

We knew it was a matter of time before the LDC Moneygang went after the leg they targeted again this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated.

 

CMJ drapes Pantera’s legs across the middle and drives the knee in repeatedly. But a clubbing blow from Pantera knocks CMJ off his feet.

 

COACH

That’s gonna feel like getting hit with a hammer, Cole. Pantera is freakishly strong.

 

Pantera hobbles towards his corner only to be taken down by CMJ, who then slams Pantera’s leg into the mat. CMJ attempts a single-leg crab, but again Pantera strikes him hard, which leads to a CAA tag. And Strutter enters a house afire. He whips CMJ into the ropes and makes the cover following a POWERSLAM!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Strutter plants CMJ mid-ring with a FALLAWAY SLAM, and then delivers a TOP ROPE FLYING ELBOW!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-- NO!

 

Strutter moves and Reiger knee drops his partner!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

No love for CMJ in New York.

 

Strutter brings CMJ and Reiger together for an impromptu meeting of the minds, knocking Reiger out to the floor where Lorelei pleads with him to get back in, no doubt feeling the tag titles slipping away. On the other side, Lindsay Gonzalez takes joy in Lorelei’s discomfort. But it’s Strutter who feels the pain after CMJ reverses a whip and Reiger knees him in the back. Strutter falls into the clutches of CMJ and a T-BONE SUPLEX!

 

COACH

Harvardplex!

 

Reiger gets the tag and attempts a slingshot double stomp, but Strutter puts the hands up and dumps him outside!

 

COLE

Boy did that backfire.

 

Strutter pops to his feet and wipes Reiger out with a SUICIDE DIVE! Reiger is thrown back in and drilled by a MISSLE DROPKICK!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Pantera tags in and gorilla press slams Reiger, who then lures the strongman into false sense of security by calling for time, only to grab the tights and fling Pantera face-first into top turnbuckle! Pantera falls to the seat of his pants and Reiger follows up with a running knee to the face!

 

COACH

Blood is the New Black!

 

COLE

Could this be it?

 

Reiger drags Pantera away from the corner and covers him.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

Reiger gives Pantera a mock round of applause and then sets for a suplex, but Pantera blocks it and delivers one himself! Reiger quickly tags out and CMJ stuns Pantera stun with another round of leg strikes. Irish uppercuts follow, but Pantera reverses a whip and places CMJ in a BEARHUG on the rebound!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Lorelei hears it as she hops on the apron to grab the referee‘s attention, but it also attracts Lindsay and the MSG faithful go crazy in anticipation of a cat fight. Charles Robinson plays peacemaker as Reiger leaps off the top in a blindside attack, but Pantera turns and CMJ is the one nailed by a double axe handle! Pantera then puts both LDCMG members in a bear hug!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

What strength exhibited by Ken Pantera!

 

CMJ and Reiger thumb Pantera in the eyes to break free. Then they try to whip him across, but Pantera pulls them both in for a clothesline!

 

COACH

This homecoming is turning into a nightmare for the LDC Moneygang, Cole.

 

Pantera fires CMJ in for a POWERSLAM!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Pantera executes a double underhook stall suplex and looks to follow with a knee drop, but CMJ moves and the strongman jams the knee into the canvas. And like a shark smelling blood, CMJ jumps on Pantera. He drags him to the corner and BASHES the leg against the RINGPOST!

 

Again.

 

And again.

 

Pantera tries to crawl away only to have his foot grabbed by CMJ. The LDCMG tag and Reiger delivers his trademark SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP… ONTO THE LEG!

 

LORELEI

:)

 

Looking to weaken the knee further, Reiger applies an INDIAN DEATHLOCK.

 

COLE

Spencer Reiger digging deep into his bag of tricks.

 

COACH

Yeah. CMJ is the expert of the team at submission holds. Obviously he’s shared his knowledge, as a good partner would.

 

COLE

You’ve never shared anything with me.

 

COACH

We could resurrect Einstein and have him teach you everything he knows and you’d still be worthless!

 

COLE

:(

 

The legs still death locked, Reiger brides back to place Pantera in a reverse chinlock, which proves to be a mistake as Pantera easily breaks the grip. But rather than panic Reiger delivers a measured knee drop and makes the cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Standing dropkick knocks Pantera outside, where CMJ gives him a STUN GUN ON THE GUARDRAIL while the ref and Strutter are distracted by Reiger.

 

COLE

Cambridge Curse on the guardrail! Oh my!

 

COACH

I wouldn’t be surprised if Ken Pantera is out cold, Cole.

 

CMJ rolls Pantera back in and Reiger makes a nonchalant cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-- KICKOUT!

 

Reiger flips his lid and berates the referee over a supposed slow count. The ref shoots back and Reiger drops his claim. CMJ tags in and shoves Pantera into the corner for a combination of Irish uppercuts, knife-edge chops and leg strikes. Pantera returns fire and nearly escapes the LDCMG corner, but CMJ trips him up and the LDCMG debut a new double-team move: a HIGH-LIFTING GERMAN SUPLEX/INVERTED TOP ROPE BULLDOG!!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

The count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

SAVE BY STRUTTER!

 

Reiger and Strutter exchange words as CMJ slaps on THE FIGURE-4 on Pantera!

 

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Right in Pantera’s face, referee Charles Robinson doesn’t see Reiger stick his feet through the ropes to push down on CMJ for additional leverage.

 

COLE

Turn around, ref!

 

Of course Reiger is far away by the time Robinson does indeed look behind. Reiger sneaks the feet back in the second Robinson shifts his attention back to Pantera. That brings in Strutter who’s quickly restrained.

 

COACH

That’s a rookie mistake from a veteran like Felix Strutter. He’s letting his emotion get the better of him right now.

 

COLE

It’s certainly understandable given the stakes involved: the One & Only World tag team championship.

 

Order restored, Reiger again sticks his feet through the ropes and this time Strutter gets past the ref.

 

COACH

Uh-oh. Reiger’s in big trouble here.

 

Strutter knees CMJ upside the head and turns Reiger, who’s straddling the middle rope, into a human seesaw by slapping his legs down after every blow to get another one in!

 

COLE

New York’s Finest may be New York’s ugliest by the time Felix Strutter gets done with him.

 

CMJ waistlocks Strutter from behind but eats an elbow, then stumbles into Pantera and a TRAPPED ARM BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Physically exhausted, Pantera uses the ropes to pull himself up, but Reiger runs down the apron and nails him with an ENZIGURI!

 

CMJ makes the cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-- NO!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COACH

Where did Pantera find the strength to kick out, Cole?

 

COLE

I don’t know, but the crowd sure appreciates the heart and determination of Ken Pantera. And who thought we’d be saying that?

 

Reiger tags in and delivers a MOONSAULT… BUT PANTERA GETS THE KNEES UP!!

 

REIGER

:o

 

COLE

That expression says it all.

 

COACH

Yeah, but it hurt Pantera just as much since he used his knees.

 

Pantera crawls to his corner as Reiger tags out. CMJ rushes in and grabs the leg, but Pantera turns on his back and kicks CMJ off with his good leg, then tags Strutter!

 

COLE

Ohhhhh my!

 

Strutter blocks a right and unloads. He whips CMJ in for a BAAAAAACK body drop and follows up with a DOUBLE-ARM DDT!

 

The cover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Strutter attempts a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX, but CMJ drops down and tries to apply THE BOSTON STRANGLER. Strutter counters out into a hammerlock and then executes a TIGER SUPLEX!!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR-- NO!!

 

REIGER MAKES THE SAVE!

 

COLE

The Can-Am Assassins a half a count away from becoming the tag team champions.

 

The LDCMG pummel Strutter and then whip him in for a double clothesline. Unbeknownst to them, however, a blind tag by Pantera.

 

COACH

The champs are going for the Spike Reiger Counter not realizing a tag’s been made, Cole.

 

Pantera gives them the message, clubbing Reiger across the back and slamming CMJ off the middle rope. Strutter dropkicks Reiger outside and takes him down with a slingshot cross body as CMJ is placed in THE FULL NELSON!

 

COLE

Are we gonna see new champions?

 

As Reiger and Strutter brawl on the floor, Lorelei climbs on the apron and again is met by Lindsay. The two argue before Lorelei fires the first shot, A SLAP TO THE FACE!

 

LINDSAY

:angry:

 

COACH

Forget about it, Lindsay. I say kiss and make up.

 

Lindsay retaliates and Lorelei desperately seeks shelter inside, but Charles Robinson keeps her from entering. Suddenly there’s a commotion in the crowd, the result of THEODORE MONEYMAKER running into the ring and CLIPPING THE KNEE OF PANTERA!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COACH

Hey, it’s Teddy.

 

COLE

Where the hell has he been?!?

 

Moneymaker flees like a thief in the night while Pantera gets himself trapped in THE BOSTON STRANGLER!

 

COLE

Don’t tell me it’s gonna end like this.

 

Pantera refuses to tap despite being choked out. Meanwhile, Reiger shoves Strutter into the ring post and comes to Lorelei’s aid. With Pantera unresponsive referee Charles Robinson has no choice but to call for the bell.

 

* DINGDINGDING *

 

BUFFER

And their opponents, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!!

 

“The World is Mine” plays as Moneymaker awards the titles to the LDC Moneygang.

 

COLE

Whether you like him or hate him, you gotta admire the guts of Ken Pantera. He never quit, he passed out from the pain.

 

COACH

There’s no denying the toughness of strongman Ken Pantera, but when people look in the record books it’s gonna show the LDC Moneygang as winners.

 

Though the match is over, the humiliation is not. Lorelei produces a pair of CLIPPERS and Axe shampoo.

 

COLE

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary? You’ve won the damn match.

 

Lorelei begins to rather Pantera’s hair when MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS chase Moneymaker and company away.

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

A staredown ensues between the champs and CAE.

 

COACH

What are these idiots doing interfering in other people’s business?

 

COLE

To prevent a disgusting act from taking place.

 

COACH

Geez, Cole, they were gonna shave Pantera bald, not sodomize him. Maybe if they had been Los Diablos de Fuego.

 

COLE

There's a lovely image. Uh, I mean disgusting thought!

 

48d50db9.jpg

NERDLY SPECTACULAR

Younger

Sexier

Nerdlier

February 25th, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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APmorganlinds.jpg

 

The lights go down inside of the arena. "Independent Woman Part 1" by Destiny's Child starts playing. A noticeable cheer comes from the crowd. Pink strobe lights are all over the entrance. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez walks with a swagger in her step onto the entrance stage, a single spotlight on her, where she strikes a pose, slightly extending her left leg and announcing to the crowd that she is #1 with her right hand while her left hand remains on her left hip. Pink pyro explodes behind her. Afterwards, Lindsay walks to the ring with a swagger in her step and the spotlight still on her, making sure that no fan touches any part of her beautiful body.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen this is your next contest, scheduled for one fall for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! On the way to the ring is the challenger. From Toronto, Ontario Canada by way of San Juan, Puerto Rico... she is "THE LATINA BITCH"... MS. LLLLIIIIIIIINNDDSSSSSSAAAAAYYYYYYY... GGOOOOONNZZZZZAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

As "Independent Woman Part 1" continues playing over the P.A. system, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez heads up the ring steps and then stops on the ring apron to laugh at the fans. She then very slowly enters the ring, allowing the fans to get a good look at her ass as she does so.

 

COLE

I'm not a big fan of this young lady. But darn it all, I do looove this song!

 

COACH

All the women, who independent, get your tits out for me.

 

COLE

And now it's ruined forever.

 

Lindsay gets onto a second turnbuckle and outstretches her arms, letting out a maniacal laugh while doing so. Lindsay then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then bounces off of the ropes. She gets ready for her match as the lights go back on inside of the arena and "Independent Woman Part 1" by Destiny's Child dies down.

 

COLE

Ever since Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez returned to the OAOAST last year, she has made her goal crystal clear. To come back and be the OAOAST Women's Champion again. After years of success leading her charges to World Titles, Lindsay is used to success and accustomed to power. However, all her years of seconding World Champions may not have prepared her for this.

 

 

 

GO!

 

To un-explain the unforgivable,

Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.

By streetlight this dark night,

A séance down below.

There are things that I have done,

You never should ever know!

 

And without you is how I disappear,

And live my life alone forever now.

And without you is how I disappear,

And live my life alone forever now.

 

Charges of electricity scream down on an entrance stage that’s carpeted by dark blue lights. On the numerous video screens throughout the Garden images of flashes of electrical bolts find their way onto screen. After the final violent bolt of electricity touches down on stage the entrances door rip apart to showcase Morgan Nerdly. Stalking slowly to the ring, Morgan looks around the famous arena wide-eyed, shying away from the rowdy reaction from the New York crowd.

 

BUFFER

And, her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the current reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

 

Morgan approaches the ring, hand clasped tightly to the belt around her waist. She slides under the bottom rope and sits, staring impassively at Lindsay.

 

COLE

Living proof that dynamite comes in small packages. Morgan Nerdly, the baby of the Nerdly clan, as dangerous as they come once that bell rings. But as strong as she is in the ring, she is as fragile outside and that's something Lindsay Gonzalez has tried to exploit in the past few weeks leading to this match.

 

As she undoes her belt and stands up, handing it over to the referee, Morgan is again distracted by the large and noisy crowd.

 

COLE

And it seems like this crowd in New York City... a strong percentage, at least... putting their support behind Morgan in this one.

 

COACH

Well that's no surprise. They're New Yorkers. They want to see someone get hurt and if anyone's going to cause it, it'll be Morgan. Don't think for a second Lindsay cares what these people think though.

 

COLE

No I'm sure she's grown used to being hated by this point in her life.

 

Lindsay scowls at the crowd as the title is lifted to each side of the arena, then handed outside. Taking solace in her corner, Morgan rests her head on the ropes, keeping the corner of her eye on Lindsay, just incase.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING*

 

As both girls emerge from their corners, Lindsay is immediately running her mouth. Berating Morgan, she sees Morgan is somewhat caught up in her thoughts and gives her a shove, pushing the Women's Champion onto her ass.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

That was a bitch move.

 

COACH

Well, duh.

 

COLE

Might not have been a smart move either. Why you'd want to get Morgan angry is beyond me.

 

Once the initial shock has gone away, Morgan looks up wide-eyed at Lindsay as she smirks and poses to the NYC crowd. The Women's Champion picks herself up, running her fingers through her hair. After another verbal attack, Morgan is shoved right back down again though.

 

COLE

Now that was just gratuitous.

 

Lindsay leans down and mocks Morgan by making boo-boo eyes and asking if she's "gonna cwy now?" As she gets back up, Morgan strokes away at her hair a little more aggressively than before, her hands shaking. Morgan starts muttering to herself as she tugs on her hair, which seems to excite the crowd.

 

COACH

Uh-oh.

 

With a sneer on her face, Lindsay shakes her head, clearly not worried by this unnerving behaviour from her opponent. And she goes to shoves Morgan again... but Morgan steps back and shoves Lindsay down instead, before diving on top and swinging wildly with slaps!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Lindsay brought that on herself. And look at Morgan go here!

 

COACH

Get outta there Lindsay, before she rips your face off!

 

Perhaps hearing Coach, or perhaps just smart enough to know she's getting pummelled, Lindsay manages to roll away and drag herself outside. She looks shocked and tries to compose herself on the outside. Morgan is right out after the challenger though and hits a tackle on the floor, sending them spilling over towards the timekeeper's table! Morgan gets on top again and continues clawing and scratching while Lindsay tries to seek solace underneath the table. No such luck. Pulled out from under the cloth, Lindsay has her head thrown into the timekeeper's table to the delight of the crowd.

 

COLE

And Lindsay is finding out firsthand that Morgan Nerdly is far from the easy target she might seem.

 

COACH

Well she is once you push her too far. Which Lindsay never should have done.

 

Catching up to her, Morgan throws Lindsay back inside the ring. Calmed down a little, Morgan doesn't follow Lindsay in and instead goes to the top rope. With Lindsay concerned about any damage done to her face that allows Morgan to fly in with a crossbody block...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

No!

 

Morgan hits Lindsay with a kick, knocking her back into the corner. More kicks then unload, at lightning speed, leaving Lindsay winded up against the turnbuckles.

 

COLE

The referee trying to keep Morgan on a leash her, trying to keep her within the rules. He's got to watch himself too though. If Morgan is anything, it's volatile and unpredictable.

 

For now Morgan is in check and genuinely sorry for doing anything wrong in the referee's eyes. Bringing Lindsay out of the corner, Morgan delivers a snap suplex. Morgan then hooks the leg, looking for the pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

No!

 

Hitting away at Lindsay, Morgan keeps her challenger down while she plans her next move. She hits the ropes and delivers a basement dropkick, which sends Lindsay rolling towards the ropes. Lindsay picks herself up, as Morgan comes running in again. The Latina Bitch is ready for her this time though, picking Morgan's slender body up and hanging it over the top rope, sending the Women's Champion snapping back down to earth with a thud!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COACH

There's the brains that have lead two World Heavyweight Champions, the presence of mind and the awareness of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez!

 

Morgan is left clutching her neck in pain, giving Lindsay time to point out how smart she is (incase it needed emphasising) by tapping her head.

 

COLE

Morgan got hung up pretty bad there. And now Lindsay has the Women's Champion right where she wants her.

 

Walking over Lindsay gives the prone Morgan a stomp in the side of the head, earning her a warning from the referee. Which is treated with total contempt. Lindsay struts around the ring like she owns it, not endearing herself to the New York crowd. Morgan slowly picks herself up and Lindsay finally gets back into the action, grabbing the back of Morgan's hair and yanking her back down to the mat, which bounces the back of her head nastily.

 

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"YOU SUCK!"

 

Lindsay smirks at the abuse, for now at least.

 

COLE

Looks like the former Mrs. Popick has been missed in her time away, huh?

 

COACH

I certainly missed her.

 

COLE

I'm sure you were sad to hear that she's single now, too.

 

COACH

Oh, yes. Devestated I was. Here's hoping she's ready to find another man soon. Emotionally, I mean.

 

Scooping Morgan up, Lindsay delivers a delayed bodyslam. Lindsay then sits the Women's Champion up and takes aim, with a jumping dropkick to the face! Cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

Morgan girts her teeth in dogged determination, but suddenly finds herself choked for air as Lindsay places her knee across her throat!

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

 

Standing up, Lindsay acts like she's done nothing wrong and takes another stroll around the ring, antagonising the fans.

 

COACH

You have to admire the courage of this lady. Recently divorced. And she still has the heart to come out here and put on a show, like a true performer. I wish her all the best at what must be a very testing time.

 

COLE

Testing time? Did you see what she got in that divorce settlement!?

 

COACH

Did I mention I hope that she's ready to move on with her life soon?

 

Lindsay drags Morgan to her feet and drives a knee into her gut, then delivers a forearm shot. Morgan falls against the ropes and is sent across the ring with an irish whip. Too casual, Lindsay telegraphs a duck of the head though and the Women's Champion manages to turn the tables, with a faceplant on Ms. Lindsay!! Morgan picks herself back up and quickly knocks Lindsay over with a high crossbody.

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

Rolled away by the kickout, Morgan tries to run back at Lindsay but ends up running into a clothesline! Cover by Lindsay, ordering the ref to get down and count...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

No!

 

Lindsay gets on the referee's case about the count, not happy.

 

"SKANK!"

"SKANK!"

"SKANK!"

"SKANK!"

 

COACH

They're not chanting what I think they're chanting, are they!?

 

COLE

I think they are.

 

This time, Lindsay cannot take the chants in good humour. Infact she is APPALLED by the rudeness of the New York crowd and sees fit to go around the ring, shouting that she is infact not a "skank". This distraction allows Morgan some time to recover and when Lindsay goes back over to grab her, Morgan captures her in an inside cradle!

 

COLE

Look out, this could be all!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Both girls are quickly back up and it's Lindsay who lands first with a boot to the gut. She goes for an irish whip, but Morgan reverses, throwing Lindsay into the turnbuckles. Morgan comes charging, putting her not-enormous body weight behind a big corner splash, still enough to hurt her similarly-sized challenger. Hooking Lindsay up, Morgan then runs her out of the corner with a big Bulldog, right in the middle of the ring!

 

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Morgan starting to fight back here. You can't underestimate the heart in this young woman.

 

Morgan moves the referee aside and lifts herself up, sat on the top turnbuckle. She waits for Lindsay to get back up, talking some confidence into herself, before she takes off with a missile dropkick from the second rope, bowling the Cana-Rican challenger over!

 

COLE

A big dropkick from little Morgan... and listen to this Madison Square Garden crowd, come alive for the Women's Champion!

 

COACH

Eh. It's just sympathy.

 

Waiting for Lindsay to get back up, Morgan prepares to deliver some Shock and Awe, lifting Lindsay up onto her shoulders...

 

 

 

...but Lindsay slips free! With a hard shove in the back Lindsay then manages to throw Morgan off, sending her HARD into the turnbuckles!!

 

COLE

Ooh! Man, Morgan hit hard, she might have hurt her neck again in the process.

 

COACH

And now she's in trouble!

 

As she stumbles out from the corner holding the back of her neck, Morgan walks into a boot, then gets hit with a Moonlight Drive flipping neckbreaker by Gonzalez!!

 

COACH

Morgan just found a Razor Blade In A Lollipop. What rotten luck!

 

Lindsay looks jubilant as she kicks back, hooking Morgan's leg and counting along with the pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

3..

 

 

NO!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Not enough yet though! And Lindsay isn't happy!

 

COACH

I don't blame her!

 

Jumping to her feet Lindsay berates the referee, insisting that should have been a three count.

 

COLE

Boy, Lindsay is irate. She can't believe that that wasn't enough. She'd be better off focusing on the match than on tearing a strip off of our official though.

 

Lindsay eventually runs out of abusive words and storms away from the referee to pick Morgan up. Roughing the Women's Champion up, Lindsay insists this time, it's all over. She steps to Morgan's side and sets her up for a russian legsweep, pulling her back, ready to send Morgan face-first. At which point, Morgan reaches back and counters with a snapmare.

 

COLE

Looking for the Bitchslap, but Morgan counters.

 

Rolling through to her feet, Lindsay runs at Morgan and gets picked up on the shoulders for the Shock and Awe... but too close to the ropes!! Lindsay grabs the top rope and manages to pull herself out of Morgan's grip, out onto the safety of the ring apron. Morgan tries to hang on, but the referee forces a break with the two in the ropes. Force being the operative word, which Morgan doesn't like, throwing the referee off of her.

 

COLE

Referee in the way there.

 

COACH

Yeah, keep your hands off, pal.

 

With the referee off of her, Morgan goes back after Lindsay. But Lindsay is waiting and drops off the apron, snapping Morgan's throat across the top rope on the way down!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Oh, Lindsay caught Morgan again, hung her up on the ropes! And the referee didn't see it.

 

COACH

That's the smartest girl I've ever met, right there.

 

COLE

I don't doubt that.

 

Lindsay turns to the fans and smirks, dusting her hands in satisfaction and taking a bow.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

COLE

Lindsay pretty happy with herself.

 

COACH

So she ought to be! She'll be even happier in a few seconds too, when she's got that shiny, shiny belt in her hands.

 

Sliding back into the ring Lindsay looks immensely pleased with herself, seeing Morgan in a bad way. Reaching down, she goes to pick the Women's Champion up, already gloating to the crowd about what she's about to do. However, what she's about to do is eat her words, as Morgan surprises everybody by rising up and lifting Lindsay up off the mat, and HITTING THE SHOCK AND AWE!!!!!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COACH

:o

 

COLE

Morgan hits the Shock and Awe!! Where did THAT come from!?

 

Morgan quickly hooks the leg, the MSG crowd counting along...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

An unexpectedly popular three count, the crowd erupt as Morgan's hand is raised in victory.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... MMMOOOOORRRRGGAAAAAAAAANN... NNEEEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

I don't know if Morgan lulled Lindsay into a false sense of security, or whether that was just a case of instincts taking over. But Morgan, from seemingly out of nowhere, able to turn a bad situation into a great one and pick up the victory here at AnglePalooza 2010!

 

Still nursing her neck, Morgan takes her OAOAST Women's Title and clutches it tightly to her chest as she rolls out of the ring. Looking amazed at what just happened and possibly the fact that the crowd are happy that it happened too, the wide-eyed Women's Champion backs up the aisle, too shocked to actually celebrate. Back in the ring meanwhile, Lindsay lies hurt and dazed.

 

COLE

This young lady is full of surprises! And 2009's Angle Award winning Female Of The Year is off to a roaring start here in 2010 as well.

 

COACH

She got lucky if you ask me. I mean... she won, but... I don't know how she did! Poor Lindsay, I thought she had this one wrapped up! What in the heck happened!? Lindsay! What happened?

 

Sitting up, a groggy Lindsay looks round wondering the same thing and is mortified upon realising that she's lost. She whines to herself as she gets back up, frustrated at what happened. A sad state, which isn't made any better by the New York fans around her loving every second of it.

 

COLE

Not the night Ms. Lindsay had been hoping for. Will tonight be the night that Leon Rodez is hoping for? He will be apart of the 30 Man Over The Top Rope Lethal Rumble here tonight, where it's a case of make or break for the former World Champion. And right now Josh Matthews is standing by with the OAOAST's Fallen Idol.

 

An upset Lindsay leaves the ring and makes the walk of shame down the aisle, with the New Yorkers showing her no sympathy on the way.

 

 

We then cut back, to find Leon Rodez, cutting a miserable figure as ever. Stood amongst the surplus of metal structuring poles and supports you find backstage at a wrestling show, Leon stands with hands on hips staring at the ground with a curl in his lip.

 

MATTHEWS

Well, already a good night for one half of the OAOAST most 'interesting' relationship. Tonight, Leon, will it be a good night for you as you look to book your ticket to Las Vegas and the main event of AngleMania IX, in the Lethal Rumble Match?

 

Leon scowls for a while, before finally glancing up.

 

LEON

Will it be a good night? Is it ever a good night for me, Josh? No. You see, tonight isn't about having a 'good night'. Tonight isn't about achieving something that will make me feel happy, or proud. Winning the Lethal Rumble isn't some prize to me. It's a neccessity. I need to win the Lethal Rumble. Ever since Josie Baker's seen fit to freeze me out of the World Title picture... this is my chance to step past all that... force her hand and give her no say in the matter at all.

 

Leon looks off into the distance for a second.

 

LEON

Everybody knows that I got screwed out of the OAOAST World Title at the Halloween Spectacular. What was rightfully mine was taken away from me. Snatched out of my grasp. And since nobody on this earth is going to give me the support and the help I need to get back what's rightfully mine... then I'm going to have to do it on my own. Twenty-nine other wrestlers? Doesn't matter. See I've been living under a siege mentality for as long as I can remember now. It's me against the world. Everything around me, working against me. I live that life. I fight that battle, every day. So tonight... twenty-nine obstacles to overcome... twenty-nine other people, trying to step on my dream and crush it in front of my eyes... it's just another day in the 'fun-filled' life of Leon Rodez.

 

Scoffing, Leon scowls back down at the floor again.

 

LEON

Make no mistake about it. Siege-mentality. I will do whatever I have to do... whatever the cost... to get what I want... and it doesn't matter who, or how many, try to stop me.

 

Leon gives Josh one last icy-cold stare, before walking off.

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We’re taken to an outside parking lot where the Heavenly Rockers stand in front of their tour bus, now designed to depict them at the Last Supper. At their side stand several security guards with the word “BAND SECURITY” stretched across their shirts. Holding up a microphone to Logan Mann’s face is Maggie Nerdly.

 

MAGGIE

What’s up ya’ll? Maggie Nerdly, It Girl On the Scene, with The Heavenly Rockers. Logan you’ve got The Rockers entry into The Lethal Rumble, what does this mean-

 

MANN

Hey, hey, show some respect to the Heavenly Rockers creative jucies and do the polite, lady like thing and compliment, not comment, but compliment on our brand new tourbus design.

 

SYNTH

Descartes, Socrates, Plato, they got nothing on the artistic skills of us right here.

 

MAGGIE

I guess not, those are philosophers not artists! Philosophers!

 

SYNTH

Damn Stephen Hawking over here is cramping ma style and questioning my mind space!

 

MAGGIE

I guess it is a good paint job, though.

 

LOGAN

Nice and cheap to.

 

HOLLY

You can get a pretty good deal from someone when you’re hanging them out a (beep) five story window. Loooooooong way down for being a penny pinching bitch.

 

LOGAN

Heheheheh. I could’ve done without the peeing the pants part, that idiot almost stained up my silver gloves. Piss ain’t easy to remove from satin, Maggie.

 

MAGGIE

I bet it isn’t. But I didn’t come to rap about the new tour bus. I wanna know how you’re feeling about the Lethal Rumble.

 

ABDULLAH

My dear blood-sister, brother Logan is clear and aware of the higher power in both mind, body, and soul. His is a unified front blessed and touched by the songs of a greater being. The center of his spiritual world is an epi-center of worldly magnificence and betterment of the body-mind unison.

 

MAGGIE

Uh-huh. WHAT THE HELL DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN?!!!!!!

 

HOLLY

It means tell the twenty other (beep)suckers to watch their back, because my husband is gunning for their (beep)head asses.

 

ABDULLAH

Eloquently and concisely put, my young lady.

 

Suddenly the interview is interrupted by Moracca running onto scene. In his hands he holds a bootleg Heavenly Rockers CD.

 

LOGAN

Damn it the Tropicana truck must have rolled by, because here comes the fruit.

 

SYNTH

What do ya want, tinkerbell? Yer a long way from the glory holes of Greenwich Village!

 

MAGGIE

Guys, be nice.

 

MORACCA

Autograph! Autograph! Autograph new cd! :wub:

 

SYNTH

That’s whatcha want, eh? Just an autograph?

 

LOGAN

His taste in sexual partners may be wacked, but I can’t question his musical leanings. Alright, Lance Bass, I got an autograph for ya.

 

ABDULLAH

Brother Logan, beware! The CD he holds is of illegal makings!

 

HOLLY

The little (beep) has a bootleg CD!

 

LOGAN

Hell no! You’re taking money outta my pockets? I gotta pay the gasoline on a gigantic ass tourbus! This thing isn’t a Prius, man! Its half the size of empire state budling. I can’t even go to CVS without using up half a tank! And how am I supposed to dry clean my silver gloves, you can’t wash those things with Tide!

 

MORCAA

I am sorry! Just want autograph!

 

The luchadore begins thrusting the CD into Logan’s face. Annoyed, incredibly much so, Logan motions for one of the band security to come an aid him.

 

MAGGIE

Guys, there’s no reason to get the goon squad involved.

 

ABDULLAH

My sister of many years, this is no mere goon, this Martin Andrews head of band security.

 

The hulking man stands at least 6’7 and towers above Moracca.

 

MARTIN ANDREWS

Quiz for you. I’m gonna grab you by your neck….

 

Andrews wraps his large hands around his targets neck.

 

ANDREWS

No what do you do?

 

Morcca is then lifted off the ground and hurled into the tourbus. He’s thrown upwards and crashes through the window!

 

MAGGIE

Oh my god!

 

ANDREWS

Looks like you failed the quiz.

 

The Rockers walk off, sharing a laugh with Andrews, as Maggie tries her best to check on Moracca’s condition

 

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We return to Sofa Central where Double C is ready to commentate on the 2010 Lethal Rumble.

 

COLE

Folks, we are at that time.

 

COACH

You have your period?

 

COLE

Not that time! Its time for the 2010 Lethal Rumble! The field is set, and all thirty men believe they have what it takes to mainevent Anglemania. Let’s take it to Michael Buffer.

 

The view switches to Michael Buffer who stands in a darkened ring, illuminated by a soft blue spotlight.

 

BUFFER

Earlier today, those participating in the Lethal Rumble match drew numbers from 1-30 at random. In just a few moments, those men who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, and the match will begin. Every two minutes thereafter, another participant enters the match, according to the number he drew. Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown out over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered, will be declared the winner, and will receive an OAOAST Championship match at ANGLEMANIA IX!

 

Womaizer, womanizer, womanizer

 

To the tune of Britney Spears “Womanizer”, Mister Dick walks through the golden pyro shower and into Madison Square Garden. The assholish Texan saunters down the stage with little flair. His mouth is turned into a scowl and its clear he’s in an awful mood due to his poor draw.

 

COLE

Mister Dick got stuck with this number one entry by losing a match to Christian Wright. Wright, however, gained the number thirty entry by defeating Mister Dick.

 

BUFFER

Introducing entry number one! From San Antonio, Texas, he weighes in at a solid two hundred thirty eight pounds. He represents the Deadly Alliance….The Human Hard On….MISTER DIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCKKKKKKKKKKK!

 

The boos are plentiful for The Human Hard On as he dives into the ring. Of sour spirt, he grabs his crotch and spits in the direction of time keeper as if he had anything to do with Mister Dick’s awful number of entry.

 

BUFFER

And entry number two…..

 

Witness by Roots Manuva pumps its way into arena, bringing with it the masked superstar known as J-MAX! The high flying Birit, shakes hands with the approving crowd as he makes his way towards the Lethal Rumble ring.

 

BUFFER

From Birmingham, England... J - MMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!

 

DING DING DING!

 

The moment J-MAX enters the ring, Mister Dick pounces upon him with boots to his back. After leveling several strikes against him, Mister Dicks picks him up and chucks him through the second and third ropes. J-MAX crashes to the canvas bellow, and MD is quick to follow him outside.

 

COLE

Now this isn’t going to do Mister Dick any good!

 

Despite the apparent lack of logic in his attack, Mister Dick continues to stomp away at J-MAX. The referees urge MD to get the Brit back into the ring. However, all Mister Dick does is throw him against the steel steps. MD seethes with anger as he rushes forward and kicks J-MAX in the ribs.

 

COACH

Jock might as well have fun while you can, because there’s no way to last until the end at this number.

 

MD slams J-MAX’s face against the ring steps, causing him to scream out in agony. This is bliss to MD, and he smiles broadly as he rolls J-MAX back into the ring. The Human Hard On then mounts the top rope and grabs his crotch to the booing audience. This proves problematic though as J-MAX suddenly runs up the rope and nails MD with an enziguri! To the fans’ glee, The Human Hard On topples over onto the ring apron!

 

COLE

Mister Dick could have a very early exit!

 

J-MAX rushes to the ropes, and returns with a baseball slide aimed his prone foe. But MD recovers and pulls his lanky frame out the way just before J-MAX’s arrival. The Brit slides himself out the ring, just as MD is entering. He quickly rolls back into the squared circle, where he’s met with stomps and punches from The Cocky Prick.

 

The countdown timer appears!

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Woman, take me in your arms.

Rock your baby.

Woman, take me in your arms,

Rock your baby.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Vinny Valentine bursts through the entrance doors with a funky dance for his fellow New Yorkers.

 

COACH

Vinny Valentine back home in the Big Apple!

 

Mister Dick leaves J-MAX to deal with his pain, as he leans into the ropes and cockily invites V-Squared into the ring. The Disco Duck is in no hurry to enter the rumble and continues dancing down the aisle. This is highly annoying to Mister Dick, and he slides out ring. He catches up to Vinny and promptly grabs onto his slick hair and chucks him inside the squared circle.

 

COLE

Mister Dick is wasting a lot of energy here.

 

COACH

He’s fired up and pissed off, but he’s gotta calm down and pace himself.

 

Vinny fights back to his feet and he and MD exchange blows. Beyond their vision J-MAX is climbing to the top rope. He then catches their attention by flinging himself forward with a cross body block! However, both Vinny and MD catch him within their arms. Smiling to each other they prepare to dump J-MAX over the ropes. But the speedy Brit counters by swinging out and nailing them both with DDTs!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

MD rolls onto the ring apron, while an enraged and aching Vinny jumps to his feet. He can get no further than there before J-MAX slams a dropkick into his chest! Vinny stumbles backwards and falls over the top rope! Fortunatley he lands on the ring apron, and he taps his skull as if that was all part of his plan. But this “plan” goes awry when J-MAX leaps off the top rope and hooks onto him for a DDT! But Vinny holds onto the ropes, and refuses to be brought down by the aerial attack. The two do battle with punches and kicks, until V-Squared notices MD rumbling towards them with a Stiff Kick! Thusly, the Disco Duck pulls J-MAX in front of him and lets the Texan strike him down with the signature attack. J-MAX flies backwards, crashing into the guardrail and eliminating himself from the contest.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

J-MAX

Entered: 2nd

Left: 1st

Time of participation: How the fuck would I know?

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Vinny Valentine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As soon as one man leaves another enters as the clock ticks down….

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

 

"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night

So baby take my hand, you'll be alright

Surrender all your dreams to me tonight

They'll come true in the end"

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Landon Maddix doesn’t let the jeers affect him as he steps through the entrance doors. Instead he waves happily to the audience, and takes off towards the ring.

 

COLE

Landon Maddix is a two time winner of the now defunct SWF’s Clusterfuck, but he has a less than advantageous draw in the Lethal Rumble.

 

Maddix doesn’t let his poor lot bring him down, and enters the ring with right hands for Mister Dick. The Spanish superstar then irish whips his foe into the ropes. Mister Dick rushes back to encounter a lariat from Maddix. However, he ducks the strike and continues running. This does him little good as Vinny leaps forward and takes him off his feet with a leaping back elbow. V-Squared celebrates with a disco dance for his hometown crowd. Unforunatley Landon cuts short the celebration by shoving Vinny into the ropes. V-Squared becomes trapped in the cables, allowing Landon to begin attempting to shove him to the floor. But Vinny grabs onto Maddix’s head, and uses it to support himself against the dangerous fall.

 

“LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!”

 

COLE

Landon Maddix one of the few superstars able to say he’s hated across every continent on earth.

 

COACH

Even Antarctica?

 

COLE

I’m sure there are polar bears who curse his existence.

 

As the though continue their struggle, MD rises to his feet. Looking quite annoyed with the situation, he sprints forward and seperates them both by lowering his body through the ropes and connecting with a spear! The two men crash apart, Landon falling to the canvas, and Vinny falling onto the ring apron. MD stands above both fallen adversaries and offers them a less than pleasant crotch chop.

 

COLE

Not the most sportsman like of gestures.

 

MD brings Landon to his feet, and captures him inside a front facelock. He then lifts him into the air by the bands of his tights. He walks towards the ropes, and as soon as Vinny is upright, MD begins swinging Maddix at the Disco Duck! Vinny can hardly duck in time as MD cuts Maddix through the air like a saw blade. Finally Vinny is able to catch onto Maddix’s legs. From there he throws them upward, sending Maddix and MD toppling to the canvas!

 

COLE

A very smart move by Mister Dick countered by a very smart move from Vinny Valentine.

 

The count comes back on

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Hey Hey Hey

 

When you look you see right through me

Cut the rope, fell to my knees

Fallen, broken every single time

 

Always keep me under finger

That's the spot where you would (sue) me

Might see some type of pleasure in my mind

 

Yeah, here comes the water

It comes to wash away the sins of you and I

This time you see

 

Hey hey hey

 

Slither blasts across the arena, as Ned Blanchard comes from behind the entrance doors accompanied by a large ovation. He throws off his silver sparkling vest and charges to the ring.

 

COLE

Ned Blanchard out here representing all of Orange County!

 

COACH

A dismal county with an inferiority complex towards the superior LA county. Or so says Krista.

 

Immediately upon entering the battle zone, he leaps to his feet and begins trading punches with MD! The Human Hard On gets the upper hand with a thumb to the eye. This allows him to grab Ned and lift him into an inverted atomic drop! As Ned deals with the pain leftover from the move, MD speeds to the ropes. But as he nears Ned, he’s taken off his feet with a leaping heel kick by Landon Maddix! The arrogant superstar then mounts The Human Hard On (no homo) and begins raining down punches on his handsome visage.

 

COLE

Maybe some revenge for Landon after being used as an unwilling battering ram.

 

Elsewhere Vinny Valentine is working furiously to prevent himself from being dumped over the ropes by Ned Blanchard. Back halfway over the cable, Vinny resorts to clobbering Blanchard with open hand slaps. This backs Ned away, giving Vinny the space he needs to reenter the contest. He charges forward, and takes the OCC by surprise with a bulldog! But he can’t celebrate for very long, as Maddix is quick to terrorize him overhand rights. Weakening V-Squared with those blows, he’s able to easily shove him over the rope. However, Vinny falls upon the apron and clings tight to second rope to preserve his time in this match. Annoyed, Maddix grabs onto his gelled hair and drags him off the canvas.

 

“LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!”

 

Gritting his teeth in anger with the crowd, Landon leads Vinny to the corner. But once they reach it, Vinny suddenly grabs onto Landon’s head and slams it into the ring post. Maddix stumbles away with his head ringing out in agony. Behind him Vinny climbs to the top rope.

 

“Disco lives, baby!” Vinny shouts to a nice cheer from his hometown crowd. As they continue to root him on, Vinny captures Maddix in an inverted facelock. He signals for a reverse DDT, but meets heavy resistance from the Spanish superstar. Unable to overcome Maddix’s rebellion, Vinny is flung forward by the former world champion and crashes into the canvas. Unfortunately for Maddix, Mister Dick rushes in on him and forces him to Bite his shiny metal dick. But Mister Dick himself is put in great danger by Blanchard upending him with a lariat!

 

10

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1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

Tommy G emerges onto the entrance stage with evil intentions at heart. He saunters down the ramp, ignoring the jeers the audience passes to him.

 

COACH

This guy could do some damage, Mikey.

 

COLE

No question about it. He’s not someone I’d like to cross in this rumble..

 

Blanchard seems to understand the lethality the imposing figure owns as he enters the ring. This is why, he allows Vinny Valentine to be the first one to attack him. V-Squared doesn’t fare very well, forcing Blanchard to aid him. The two men beat Tommy into the ropes, but before they can even think of upending him the big man shoves them away.

 

COLE

Look at that power from Tommy G!

 

Tommy begins trading blows with the smaller Landon Maddix. Though outmatched, Maddix holds his ground long enough for him to weaken Anglesault’s hitman. With Tommy on wobbly knees, Maddix runs to the ropes. As he returns he leaps forward, and strikes down his rival with a forearm. Maddix kips up and nods to the audience, who douse him with more jeers.

 

COLE

Why, when you know everyone hates you, would you attempt to play to them? How often must you be booed for you to know that you have no redeeming qualities?

 

As Maddix goes to work on Tommy, Mister Dick and V-Squared attempt to rid the ring of Ned. The Handsome Hustler fights them both of with furious left hands that push them back towards the center of the ring. Blanchard then bounces himself off the ropes and raises his arms for a double lariat! V-Squared has the wherewithal to duck the attack, but Mister Dick does not and is floored by the strike. Ned admirers his handiwork just a bit too long, and Vinny makes him pay with a basement dropkick. V-Squared busts out another funkalicious dance, before going upside Ned’s head with his Boogie Shoes!

 

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1!!!!!!

 

“BZZZZZZZZZT!”

 

THE WORLD IS MINE!

 

One half of the one and only tag team champions, CMJ, arrives to the pumping beats of “The World Is Mine” He does little to endear himself to the audience, wearing a the jersey of his hometown Red Sox.

 

COLE

The Boston native, CMJ, not very welcome by the Yankee fans in attendance.

 

In slides, CMJ to the consternation of Tommy G. The big man attempts to get a bead on the slippery superstar, but CMJ takes him off his feet with a dropkick to his back. Tommy G lands against the ring posts, leaving him exposed to the running knee CMJ lands against his back. Mere seconds after that strike lands, CMJ comes under heavy fire from Vinny Valentine. But the Beantown boy is more than up to task of battling against Vinny and strikes him with an uppercut that launches him over the ropes! Unfortunately CMJ can do no more damage than that, as Vinny sweeps out his legs.

 

COLE

No love lost between a Boston boy and a New York boy.

 

Vinny stands up and begins to enter the ring. But his path is blocked by Landon Maddix who greets him with elbow shots to the head. Stunning V-Squared with the attacks, Maddix backs up. He then charges full speed ahead with a lariat aimed at Vinny. But the Disco Duck comes to life and nails him in the face with a rope aided superkick!

 

“YEAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Landon topples over.

 

However, danger is as present as ever for Vinny who is suddenly trapped inside a full nelson form Mister Dick. Vinny attempts to wiggle free, but these efforts are wasted as Mister Dick hauls him upright and slams him off the apron with the Pure Penetration! Vinny crashes into the black ring mats causing him immense pain and ending his time in the match.

 

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vinny Valentine

Entered: 3rd

Left: 2nd

Time of participation: How the fuck would I know?

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tommy G

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Although he’s second to be eliminated, Vinny Valentine put up a brave fight here in his home of New York City.

 

Meanwhile in the ring Tommy G and Ned Blanchard are attempting rid the match and the world of Landon Maddix’s annoying presence. However Maddix clings onto the ropes for dear life, and says several hail marries to protect himself from doom. Frustrated over their inability to get Maddix over the ropes, Blanchard and Tommy turn on each other. The two do battle at the edge of the ring firing off hellish punches. Tommy cuts the slugfest short by grabbing onto Ned’s neck with both hands and throwing him into the ropes. Tommy then gives chase after him, only to be met with a boot to the face from The Handsome Hustler. Blanchard then elevates himself to the second rope and connects with an axe handle that takes Tommy off his feet.

 

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1!!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

WELL ITS MIDNIGHT

AND ITS COLDER

PULL YOU CLOSER

I CAN SEE THROUGH

WHEN ITS SUNSHINE

AND ITS SOLAR

AND ITS OVER

GUESS ITS ME AND YOU

 

BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT.

 

Tyler Bryant leads the charge for D*LUX in this rumble. He runs down the entrance ramp, taking time to slap the hands of the many fans in the front row.

 

COLE

Mmmmff, here comes one well cooked prime cut of Michigan beefcake at number eight.

 

While Blanchard and Tommy do battle in the corner, Landon Maddix pounds away at Mister Dick with stiff kicks, weakening him enough to begin pushing him over the ropes. But the savvy Human Hard On avoids elimination by rolling beneath the bottom cable. He stays in that sprawled out position on the ring apron in order to reclaim his lost breath. Problem is, his foe isn't willing to grant him the much needed time out. Thus Maddix slingshots himself over the top rope, and to the delight of some drills his wrestling boots into the MD’s face with a gruesome double stomp!

 

“BOOOOOOOO!”

 

As Ned screams in bleak agony, a charging Tyler Bryant seeks to eject the apron based Moss from his nest. But Maddix is one step ahead of the boyander and springboards into the ring to annihilate him with a lariat! The pair go tumbling backwards dragging the nearby brawling couple of Tommy and Ned down with them! The catastrophic collision is all the SWF World Champion needs to decide he's had enough of this particular battle royal, and The Money In The Bank winner begins to roll towards the safety of the outside. Unfortunately a sudden downpour of punches from Mister Dick halts him!

 

COLE

Mister Dick has revenge on his mind tonight!

 

Mister Dick rips Maddix off the canvas and begins to chuck him over the ropes. Although Landon clings to the ropes, MD is still successful in shoving him over the top. Using his agility, Maddix is able to skin the cat. He pulls himself back up, wrapping his legs around Mister Dick. His hope to flip The Human Hard On over the ropes. But Mister Dick catches hold of his legs and brings Maddix back into the ring. Hung upside down, Maddix is unable to prevent MD from dropping to his knees with a tombstone piledriver! Things get all the worse for Landon when Tyler slides forward and strikes the back of his skull with both his boots!

 

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1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

 

COLE

Uh-oh! Uh-oh!

 

Through the entrance doors comes the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner, Bohemoth! A fast sprint down the ramp carries him into the ring, where he leaps to his feet and spears Mister Dick! The big man jumps up and delivers a second spear to Ned Blanchard! A third spear cuts down Tyler Bryant as well! He then turns to Tommy G and offers a high five to his partner in crime.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

The sudden cheer from the audience is for a black clad figure combing through the stands. He carries with him a chair, and a face of stern determination. He is The Franchise Zack Malibu! Bo and Tommy gaze at each other with worried expressions. However, they quickly calm their nerves and prepare for Zack’s arrival.

 

COACH

He ain’t in this match, get this old ass bum outta here. OAOAST moved on from you long ago, accept it, preppy.

 

COLE

Zack is coming for revenge, Coach! Bohemoth and Tommy better look out!

 

Malibu dives into the ring with fury filling his eyes. Tommy G is the first to challenge him. He meets a grim fate when Zack swipes the chair across his face. Tommy stumbles awkwardly, clutching his sore head. Bo attempts to save him from further misery by attacking Malibu with a haymaker. But Zack ducks the attack, and Tommy is nailed with Bo’s massive arm! The big man is left loopy and dazed, which leads Tyler Bryant to easily toss him out the ring.

 

COLE

Oh my!

 

COACH

Damn, Big Bo, watch what you doing!

 

Bo hasn’t even a moment to feel remorse before Zack cracks him on the jaw with the School’s Out!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Bo teeters and totters before finally being dropkicked over by Bryant!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tommy G

Entered: 6th

Left: 3rd

Time of participation: How the fuck would I know?

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Tyler Bryant

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tyler Bryant, CMJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bohemoth

Entered: 9th

Left: 4th

Time of participation: Fuck you

Eliminated: Tommy G

Eliminated by: Tyler Bryant

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tyler Bryant, CMJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There’s barely any time to process the monumental events before the countdown begins anew.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZT

 

THE WORLD IS MINE!

 

New York’s finest, the ultimate product of the big apple, Spencer Reiger slides through the entrance doors.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans get to their feet for Manhattan’s favorite son.

 

COLE

Here comes the other half of one and only tag team champions, and proud New Yorker!

 

Spencer slides into the ring and immediately aids Collin in taking their old rival Ned Blanchard down with a double lariat. The two men stomp at Blanchard’s head, hoping to weaken him enough to bundle him over the top ropes. But their plans don’t go as expected, thanks to Tyler Bryant beating away Reiger. Bryant grabs onto Reiger’s arms and chucks him into the corner posts. He quickly follows SR in, but New York’s finest lowers his body and catches Bryant onto his shoulders! Wasting little time, Reiger flips him over in an effort to dump him out the ring.

 

“LET’S GO SPENCER! LET’S GO SPENCER! LET’S GO SPENCER!”

 

COLE

Could Tyler’s time in the rumble be coming to an end?

 

Much to the delight of teenage girls everywhere, Bryant saves himself from a disastrous plummet by hanging onto the ropes and guiding himself back onto the ring apron. Highly perturbed, Reiger charges at him, but meets with a shoulder to stomach for his troubles. Tyler then scampers atop the turnbuckles, drawing a cheer from the fans. He flies forward and cuts down SR with a missle dropkick.

 

“BOOOOOOO!”

 

Like a good partner, CMJ comes to Spencer’s aid with clubbing forearms to Tyler’s back. Bryant is doubled over, leaving him easily taken into a front facelock by the Boston native.

 

“LET’S GO RED SOX!” CMJ shouts.

 

“RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK!” the New Yorker’s reply.

 

CMJ prepares to DDT the cute boybander. But his plans encounter failure when Mister Dick nails him with a Stiff Kick! The shot lands with so much force that it pushes CMJ into the ring ropes. Mister Dick smells blood in the water, and charges at Collin. Thinking fast, the tag champion lowers the ropes and Mister Dick tumbles over them. Fortunately for him he lands onto the ring apron as the countdown resumes

 

10

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3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Master Blaster plays and the audience leaps to their feet and let out a huge cheer for the Heartland Title holder, Denzel Spencer!

 

COLE

The eleventh entry, Denzel Spencer, has as good a chance as anyone of winning this whole thing.

 

COACH

It would cap off a great couple of months he’s been having here.

 

The moment Denzel enters the ring , Landon Maddix darts towards with arm outstretched for a lariat. Yet, he evades his strike by leaping behind him, and collaring her arm around his neck. Maddix is cursed with a nauseating 360 whirl, before being dropped on his neck by a neckbreaker! The fans pop for Denzel, but there’s no time for joy as Blanchard is closing in on Denzel. But the Heartland Champion stops the Orange County native with a scissors kick. Denzel then takes hold of his arm and shoots him into the ropes. As Blanchard nears Denzel, he’s thrown off course by a diving shoulder tackle from New York’s finest, Spencer Reiger.

 

COLE

A great play by Reiger, he totally derailed Ned Blanchard.

 

Reiger then gets into Denzel’s face, for no other reason than that he likes to talk shit.

 

“S-R! S-R! S-R!” the fans chant the initials of New York’s finest.

 

Denzel refuses to back down to SR and holds firm. This highly angers Reiger and he starts throwing punches at Denzel! The attacks land with awesome ferocity, forcing Denzel to take cover in a nearby corner.

 

COACH

SR’s doing the right thang, you can’t just punch a Jamacian dude and let it be that, those suckas keep on comin’ and comin’, you gotta beat that ass so he knows you gonna beat that ass everytime he crosses you.

 

Elsewhere Bryant is roaring towards Maddix with head lowered, and nostrils flaring like a bull. Rather than be impaled by Bryant, Landon leapfrogs him and the teen hottie continues running to the ropes. As Bryant returns, Maddix attempts to sucker him into a monkeyflip. But Bryant hops over his sprawled out body to land behind Mister Dick who’s too busy pounding on CMJ to notice. He’s made aware of Bryant’s presence when he turns his organs inside out with a lungblower.

 

“YEAH-UH!” Bryant shouts to cheers from Madison Square Garden.

 

10

9

8

COLE

Who’s up next at number twelve?

7

6

5

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3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

"Ironman" hits as the monstrous man known as The Cuban Wall confidently heads to the ring.

 

COLE

The 2008 Lethal Rumble winner surprised everyone with his victory. We haven’t seen him on OAOAST TV in a while and you have to wonder how that will effect his performance.

 

Wall steps over the ring ropes and immediately goes after SR who’s standing on the second rope punching Denzel Spencer. He rips SR away from Denzel, taking him onto his shoulders. SR’s face sags in panic, seeing how dangerously close he is to being thrown out of the ring.

 

COLE

Spencer Reiger is in big trouble!

 

COACH

How you do you continually get paid to do nothing but point out the obvious?

 

Wall begins lowering Spencer for a powerbomb. However the agile champion flails himself backwards and the pair take a violent spill to the outside! Wall’s big body crashes first against the mats, providing a landing strip for Reiger.

 

COLE

Wall is out!

 

Reiger quickly composes himself after the nasty tumble. He signals to the referee that he landed on Wall and not on the mats, thus he’s not eliminated. Without waiting for confirmation, Reiger hurriedly slides into the ring.

 

“I’m New York’s finest!” Reiger shouts to his hometown audience, looking more than a little appreciative of his fine luck.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cuban Wall

Entered: 12th

Left: 5th

Time of participation: Eat my ass

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Spencer Reiger

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tyler Bryant, CMJ, Spencer Reiger, Denzel Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

So both the 2008 and 2009 Rumble winners have been surprisingly eliminated. That leaves the field wide open!

 

With the audience firmly behind him, Blanchard attempts to muscle Maddix over the rope. But Maddix is a survivor and clings with all his strength. Eventually Blanchard grows frustrated and simply begins smashing fists into the back of Maddix’s head. Landon screams in agony, and starts kicking his legs back at Blanchard. This proves to be a grand success as Ned tips over and falls to the canvas. Maddix rolls beneath the ropes and to the outside to catch a much needed breather.

 

COLE

Oh come on! You just can’t come and go as you please, that should be an instant disqualification.

 

COACH

There’s no rule against it. You shouldn’t punish a guy for being smart.

 

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3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

“I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT”

 

To the sounds of Non Point’s cover of “In the air tonight” comes Christopher Patrick Allen.

 

COLE

Here comes one of the most dangerous and toughest, men in Rumble. Could he be Reject's next world title contender?

 

Bryant feels that toughness first hand as he’s thrown against the cables by CPA. He bounces back, sliding through a hole in CPA’s legs. The big man swings around only to be caught with left hands from Ned Blanchard.

 

COLE

Old rivals going at it!

 

Blanchard grabs his one-time friend and launches him into the corner. The Handsome Hustler chases after him, but a raised boot thwarts any offensive efforts. CPA then turns his attention back to Tyler Bryant. Bryant meets his larger foe with harsh chops, only be swatted away like a common fruit fly. Tyler falls into the ropes, and CPA runs to crisscross him. When their pathes meet, CPA extends his arm forward and strikes Bryant with the Gigaton Punch! Tyler flies backwards, landing against the ropes and barely able to remain conscious. Mister Dick can sense this and runs forward to blast Tyler with the Stiff Kick! The teen idol is flung over the ropes and eliminated from the contest.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler Bryant

Entered: 8th

Left: 6th

Time of participation: Eat my ass

Eliminated: Bohemoth, Tommy G

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, CPA, CMJ, Spencer Reiger, Denzel Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Denzel pounces immediately upon CPA, while Tyler is helped to his feet on the outside. CPA fights back though, and is easily able to take Denzel onto his shoulders to set up the Dominator! But CPA is blindsided by Spencer Reiger, who goes across his face with a superkick! Both Denzel and CPA nosedive to the canvas, landing with a booming thud. Reiger seems happy with his work, and gives himself a high-five. Elsewhere, Landon Maddix still rests on the outside as the countdown begins anew.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

Laaaaaaast summer we took threes across the boooard,

But by faaaaaall we were a cover story,

Now in stooooooreeees.

 

Make us poster boys for your scene.

But we....are not making an acceptance speech.

I found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes.

Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update

 

The crowd lets out an enormous pop for The Gunslinger Baron Windells. His former partner, Mister Dick leans over the ropes and waves Windells into the ring. The former tag champion is not one to back down from a good fight, and rushes at top speed into the ring. Mister Dick swings a lariat at him, but Windells ducks it and continues towards CMJ. Before Collin even has a moment to defend himself, BW is lariating him over the top rope!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Collin Maguire Junior

Entered: 7th

Left: 7th

Time of participation: Eat my ass

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Baron Windells

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, CPA, Baron Windells, Spencer Reiger, Denzel Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

SR doesn’t notice his partner’s elimination due to being involved in a heavy slugfest with Ned near the ropes. Though they fight with all their might, neither man can claim victory as Mister Dick shoves them both over the cables and onto the floor!

 

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer Reiger

Entered: 10th

Left: 8th

Time of participation: Eat my ass

Eliminated: Cuban Wall

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, , CPA, Baron Windells, Denzel Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ned Blanchard

Entered: 5th

Left: 9th

Time of participation: 80 million seconds

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix,, CPA, Baron Windells, Denzel Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Elsehwere Baron Windells fights off Denzel Spencer, but as soon as he rids himself of Denzel, CPA on the attack. He trades punches with the former boxer, but soon realizes that’s a recipe for failure. Thus he grabs onto CPA’s waist and unexpectedly lifts him over his head.

 

COLE

That is not a small man Baron Windells is press slamming! That is one the bigger performers in the OAOAST!

 

Windells nears the ropes and hurls CPA over them, to a great cheer from the sold out audience.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CPA

Entered: 13th

Left: 10th

Time of participation: Suck it!

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Baron Windells

Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, , Baron Windells, Denzel Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

The old Lonestar Gunslingers are cleaning house!

 

Denzel attempts to sneak attack Windells, who’s throwing up the longhorns to the cheering audience. But Mister Dick, who chucks Denzel over the ring ropes, unexpectedly saves Windells!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans react, not wishing to see the Heartland champion disposed of.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Denzel Spencer

Entered: 10th

Left: 11th

Time of participation: Suck it!

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

With Landon still lingering on the outside with no intention of getting back inside, the former tag team partners are left to their own devices. The two men get into each other’s faces, with Mister Dick providing acid tongue insults to his once good friend. Windells merely remains calm, and smiles at every cruel word that comes out of Mister Dick’s lips. That smile grows even larger when he slugs MD in the jaw!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

Now Baron is trying to clean the house of Mister Dick!

 

The two come to blows, each man doing their best to try and score a homerun swing on the other. MD eventually grows tired of brawling and rushes to the ropes. He comes back wielding the stiff kick! But Windells blocks the attack, and slams MD’s foot to the ground. He then whips MD into the corner, and rushes after him. MD is then forced to Bite his shiny metal ass! MD begins staggering out the corner, his eyes glazed over and his step unsteady. While he tries to cope with the pain of BW’s signature stroke, his onetime best friend makes a run off the ropes. When he returns he flattens Mister Dick with a brutal lariat! As MD groans in pain, BW taunts him by performing one of The Human Hard On’s signature crotch chops.

 

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

 

COACH

You know that’s gotta hurt Mister Dick, seeing that!

 

BW then scrapes his one time partner off the canvas, to whip him into the ropes. Coming back Mister Dick avoids a raised boot and continues a run to the ropes. He returns with a raised forearm aimed at BW’s head. But Windells counters with a devastating spine buster! Next, BW charges into the ropes. They spit him back and he takes flight to strike MD’s sternum with a knee drop.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

God of thunder and rock and roll

The spell you're under

Will slowly rob you of your virgin soul

 

I'm the lord of the wastelands

A modern day man of steel

I gather darkness to please me

And I command you to kneel

Before the

God of thunder and rock and roll

 

Loud and hateful jeers pollute the air, as Reject’s wingman, ThunderKid pushes his way through the entrance doors.

 

COACH

It just got a little deadlier for Baron Windells. Two Deadly Alliance members in the ring? Bye-bye, Baron!

 

TK saves MD from a prolonged beating by clubbing BW down with a running axe handle. But BW quickly scampers to his feet, and unloads powerful left crosses on TK’s face. Unable to stave off these attacks, TK begins crying for help. MD answers the call and bulldogs Baron to the ground. Together with TK, he brutalizes The Gunslinger.

 

“LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON!” the crowd sings, earning them a crotch chop from Mister Dick. The two men drag BW off the canvas, and launch him into a corner. TK follows that simple attack up with running lariat. However, Windells surges from the corner and smashes TK’s chest with a lariat of his own! Windells picks TK off the canvas, and throws him into the corner. Hitting hard, TK stumbles away from the corner. But he sets himself up for a devastating running elbow by BW!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

COLE

He really got him there!

 

Grumbling about TK ineffectiveness, MD marches towards to Baron to pound him into dust. But The Gunslinger is ready for his arrival and stabs him in the stomach with a boot! He hooks on a front facelock and within moments MD is being drilled into the canvas with The Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping ddt)! The fans delight over the deadly move, as Windells now attempts to dump MD over the ropes.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

 

HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!

 

There’s a decidedly angry reaction from the audience as Sandman makes his appearance in the 2010 Lethal Rumble.

 

COLE

Could it be Sandman moving on to face his buddy Reject at Anglemania?

 

COACH

Hahaha! Baron is now stuck in the ring with three of the Deadly Alliance. You gonna get that ass beat, you gonna get that ass beat!

 

Although faced with impossible odds, Baron refuses to back down or shy away. Instead he meets Sandman head on, stomping at the former Heartland Champion. Unfortunately he can’t do much damage as Mister Dick smashes his forearm into the back of his head. MD then grabs onto Windell’s sandy blonde hair and throws him face first into the turnbuckle pads. Baron leans against the corner posts, trying to catch his breath. But MD will not allow him any reprieve and climbs onto the second posts. He rains down punches upon Windells head, snapping it back and forth like a tether.

 

COLE

Mister Dick is unloading those HARD shots on his former tag team partner.

 

To Mister Dick’s surprise, BW grabs onto his muscular legs. He then strides forward and drops MD down with an inverted atomic drop. Metal cup or no, MD is left crippled by the searing pain. The audience’s delight over the move is tempered somewhat when Sandman begins winging punches at Windells. In his defense, BW attempts to irish whip Sandy. But Sandman reverses it and sends BW towards the ropes. However, the Gunslinger is intercepted by TK who throws him over with a powerslam!

 

COACH

Wicked powerslam right there.

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“BOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses as TK pops to his feet and looks for some congratulations. Not getting anything but venom from the fans, the former US champion brings BW to his feet and leads him to the ropes. With minimal effort, he’s able to toss BW over the cables. But The Gunslinger lands on his knees on the apron, drawing a frown from TK. Along with Sandman the two backing, battering BW with strikes. All BW can do is clutch onto the ropes and pray for a savior.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.

Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,

We'll always be ready because we will always be there.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Tim Cash rushes through the entrance doors, and makes a mad dash to the ring.

 

COLE

Here comes some support for Baron Windells at number seventeen!

 

COACH

Lamb running to the slaughter.

 

Timmy Cash scurries to the top rope. The fans cheer wildly, as he dives forward and lacerates both TK and MD with a diving lariat! He then kips-up in order to meet Sandman with fast and furious chops. Sandman attempts to end the attacks with a rake of the eye. However, Cash blocks the attacks and chastises Sandman for his poor sportsmanship. Now wishing to be lectured, Sandman attempts to shut Cash up with a spinning back fist. But Cash ducks low and takes Sandman onto his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. Cash then flips Sandman sideways, launching him over the ropes and onto the ring apron.

 

COLE

The Deadly Alliance isn’t faring too well here, Coach!

 

The situation goes from bad to worse for the DA, as BW dodges Mister Dick’s stiff kick and his errant foot collides with ThunderKid. TK stumbles backwards, groggy and confused. For those reasons he fails to defend himself, when Citizen Soliders spring forth and lariat him over the ropes! TK comes down on the ring apron, but lies prone and is stomped at by both good guys. But, Cash soon finds it’s a one man job as Mister Dick attacks BW.

 

COLE

Jock and Baron can’t stop going at it!

 

An irish whip reversal sends MD into the corner. He hits with hard enough force, that he’s propelled forward and into BW’s arms. Windells grabs him in a front waistlock and throws him overhead with a belly to belly suplex! Unfortunatley for BW, celebration time is short thanks to elbows to the jaw from Sandman. The former Heartland champion, sinks a front facelock on BW and raises him high into the sky. He then falls backwards crushing Windells with a vertical suplex.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!

 

BZZZZZZZT

 

”I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT”

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams for their fellow New Yorker.

 

The epic beat of In the Air tonight catches the attention of Tim Cash who watches his former best friend, Detective Bosley, march down the entrance ramp.

 

COLE

We saw CPA earlier tonight, will his partner in stopping crime have better luck? Will it be Bosley against Reject at Anglemania?

 

Cash backs away from his fight to catch Bosley with punches as he attempts to climb into the ring. Bosley is able to shove Cash away for a moment, but once that moment is over, Cash underhooks his right arm and hip tosses his old partner into the ring. Always a gentlemen, Cash offers Bosley a hand up. The New Yorker accepts the friendly gesture…only to low blow Cash! Stunned and in serious pain, Cash easily falls victim to Bosley. The former NYPD officer lifts him over the ropes and dumps him onto the outside mats.

 

COACH

Awwww shit! That fool nigga was on some duchess of Queensbury rules and got his ass tossed out by a down ass nigga!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim Cash

Entered: 17th

Left: 12th

Time of participation: 909090909 hours

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Bosley

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, Bosley, ThunderKid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Unbelievable! Typical New Yorker! Give am an inch…and they kick you in the nads!

 

BW is understandably upset with Bosley, and revenge settles itself in his mind. Seeing that he has an enraged Texan on the Warpath, Bosley doubles up with ThunderKid to stop him. Together they charge at Windells with lariats. But its BW that leaves them both laid out with a lariat of his own!

 

“YEAAAAAA!”

 

TK rolls to his feet before Bosley, and pays dearly for it in the form of a face battered by Windells. The Gunslinger latches onto TK’s arm and uses it to throw him into the ropes. Upon returning he leaps at BW with a cross body block. However, BW catches him within his muscular arms. The handsome Texan then swings around and attempts to dump TK over the ropes. Thankfully for the Green Bay native, he is saved by Mister Dick grabbing hold of BW’s waist and back suplexing him to the canvas. Safe for the time being, TK offers profuse “thank yous” to Mister Dick. But his gratitude is best spared, as Mister Dick casually shoves him off the apron!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ThunderKid

Entered: 15th

Left: 13th

Time of participation: 909090909 hours

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, Bosley,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Oh my! It won't be Reject against ThunderKid it looks like.

 

COACH

I....I....I.....Whaaaaaaaaat?!

 

That reaction is shared by TK, who can’t quite believe the circumstances of his elimination. He whines to the referees, unable to come to terms with this disastrous occurrence. Sandman confronts Mister Dick with anger in his voice, but only gets a dismissive wave from The Cocky Prick.

 

10

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3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Yo these niggaz can't breathe when I come through, hum too

Some shoes, gotta be 20 man

It's not even funny they can't BREATHE

The choke holds too tight

The left looks too right

You know what? You right

These bitches can't BREATHE

 

Mad Cappa makes a return to the OAOAST, running down the entrance ramp and sliding into the squared circle.

 

COLE

Mad Cappa making his return to an OAOAST ring at number 19!

 

His welcome back to the OAOAST isn’t a warm one as MD and Sandman put differences aside to bury their boots into his back. Having wounded him with their attacks, they drag him upright and stuff him inside a front facelock. Within moments they flip him backwards drive him into the canvas with a double snap suplex.

 

COLE

Am I the only one who realizes that Landon Maddix is just sitting behind the timekeeper, eating a hot dog! He’s eating a hot dog in the middle of a rumble that he’s still technically in!

 

COACH

He’s the man with a plan.

 

COLE

His plan is to eat hot dogs and sit the entire match out? That’s his plan? To eat hot dogs!

 

Meanwhile BW and Bosley battle it out in the corner. Bosley is able to get a hold of BW and he rams him back first into corner posts. Keeping BW locked against the posts, he begins pounding his ripped stomach with shoulder charges. BW grimaces against the pain that comes with rapid fire speed. Soon, Bosley cuts short the attacks and begins trying to dump Windells over the ropes. But BW holds firm, and within seconds the short tempered Bosley gives up on the efforts and retreats to the ropes. He rushes backwards expecting to be able to shove BW over the ropes, but The Gunslinger catches Bosley into his arms. In a quick second, BW falls backwards and throws Bosley over the ropes with a belly to belly suplex! Much to the audience’s dismay, their hometown boy is left laid out on the mats.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bosley

Entered: 18th

Left: 14th

Time of participation: Forever

Eliminated: Tim Cash

Eliminated by: Baron Windells

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, Mad Cappa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

A tough loss for Bosley, but I guess he isn’t the Alpha Male in this match.

 

While Sandman and Baron exchange punches, Mister Dick and Mad Cappa slug it out near the edge of the ring. MD tries for his trademark discus punch. But as soon he unfurls his body, he’s kicked in the stomach by Mad Cappa. To the audience’s glee, Mister Dick is then struck by the Busta Cap (stunner)! Rather than topple to the canvas, Mister Dick falls against the ring ropes. Cappa sees his vulnerability and moves quickly to capitalize on it. He latches onto MD’s legs and begins lifting the Cocky Prick over the ropes. Desperate to avoid elimination, Mister Dick wraps his legs around the ropes and tries to balance himself on them.

 

COLE

I am very surprised that Mister Dick has lasted this long. He’s faced tough opponents all night long, and yet he’s staying alive.

 

COACH

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

 

10

9

8

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6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

“THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…”

 

*DUN DUN*

 

“…IS…”

 

*DUN*

 

“…HERE!”

 

COLE

Could it be? Could it be the living legend?

 

A lightning bolt hits the stage, sending a plume of smoke up into the air as "Know Your Role 2000" begins to play through the arena. The crowd rise to their feet and cheer with raucous excitement as Tha Puerto Rican once again steps on an OAOAST stage.

 

COACH

I don’t believe this crap! This idiot, this cheap knockoff, this imitation Rock, this midget fourteen year old looking fool, is crashing our Rumble.

 

COLE

And I for one, am thrilled! And so are our great fans!

 

PRL takes in a moment to savoir the appreciative reaction of the Madison Square Garden crowd. As they chant his name he walks down the entrance ramp, face gritted in hard determination.

 

COLE

What a great feeling it is to have the People’s Champion back inside an OAOAST ring!

 

COACH

If you want to see the People’s Champion, you’ll go see Tooth Fairy, if you want to se a 25 cent knockoff you’ll stay right here.

 

PRL accidentally saves his old rival Mister Dick, by taking on another old rival in Mad Cappa. The two immediately begin trading wild punches.

 

COLE

Rivalry renewed!

 

Mad Cappa is put on the back track by the speedy jabs of PRL. Backed to the edge of the ring, Cappa is forced to stand toe to toe in a brawling match with the former world champion. Cappa fares rather poorly as PRL scrapes his fist across Cappa’s face. PRL holds one hand up looks to it, and then uses it to uppercut Cappa! The DC native is flung over the ropes and takes a violent spill to the outside!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mad Cappa

Entered: 19th

Left: 15th

Time of participation: Forever

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: PRL

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, PRL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

PRL doesn’t have much time bid farewell to old adversary due to being pounded on by the Sandman. Sandman spins PRL around, and attempts to irish whip him. But the Latin Lion reverses the hold and sends Sandman crashing into Mister Dick. Deeply aggravated by the miscue, Mister Dick has words with Sandman as they both head to their feet. Their argument is cut short, though, as PRL spring forth and puts them both down with leaping elbows.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Sandman wisely rolls away from danger, leaving Mister Dick to feel the brunt of PRL’s aggression. The Latin Lion scrapes MD off the canvas, and pushes him towards the ropes. Summoning all his strength, PRL hurls the Texas A&M alum over the ropes and onto the apron. He sticks his foot through the ropes and begins stomping at Mister Dick. In danger of being eliminated, all MD can do is hold onto the bottom rope and pray that help is coming.

 

“P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!”

 

COLE

Mister Dick finds himself in another sticky situation, as he grows more tired with each passing minute.

 

Sandman and Baron Windells go at each other, with Landon Maddix eating cotton candy and watching the brawl with a rooting interest in Sandman. Thusly its to his disgust that BW gets the upperhand on the former Heartland champion. BW begins landing all the punches as Sandy can hardly get his arms up in defense. After a barrage of right hands, Sandman grows incredibly desperate. As such, he grabs onto the waistband of BW’s tights and launches him downwards into the corner posts. BW’s shoulder smashes against the hard metal, causing him immense pain.

 

10

9

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6

5

4

3

2

1!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Mother

Tell your children not to walk my way

Tell your children not to hear my words

What they mean

What they say

Mother

 

Mother

Can you keep them in the dark for life

Can you hide them from the waiting world

Oh mother

 

Danzig’s Mother rocks the arena, as the mohawked 21st entrant, Scottish Scott sprints at top speeds down the entry ramp.

 

Sliding into the ring, Scott avoids a punch from Sandman and takes PRL off his feet with a headbutt! Scott then leaps onto Mister Dick and blitzes him with a barrage of strikes. But MD needn’t suffer for too long, as Sandman sneaks behind Scott and pins his arms behind his back. MD takes a moment grab his crotch and spit at Scott, which causes Sandman to urge MD to hurry up. Its advice MD would’ve been wise to follow as Scott drives his head into Sandy’s nose. This forces Sandman to break his hold, and attend to his now bleeding nose. MD is left to defend against the blitzkrieg of punches Scottish Scott unloads on him.

 

COACH

I think you’re right, Mikey, Mister Dick is starting to lose a step as this thing goes around. He’s been there the whole match, and we’ve still got nine more people to come plus all the cats that haven’t been eliminated.

 

Letting bygones be bygones, PRL aids Scottish Scott in depositing the Human Hard On over the top rope. The two exert their energy to the task of finally forcing Mister Dick out the ring.

 

COLE

This could be it for the number one entrant in the rumble.

 

Mister Dick falls onto the apron, and wraps his ankles around the second rope to maintain leverage. Scott quickly goes angry with his and PRL’s ineffectiveness. As such he dissolves their partnership and begins hammering at PRL. Backed into the by the strikes corner PRL is left defenseless against the boot Scott chokes him with. Fortunately the referees on the outside issue a warning to Scott that forces him to let PRL breathe. However, this does not stop Scottish Scott from attempting to lift PRL out the ring. But The Latin Lion fights back, kicking at Scottish Scott and forcing him further to the center of the ring. Outraged by PRL’s resiliency Scottish Scott blindly charges him, only to carry himself into a Samoan drop!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

 

"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone

And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone, dead and gone..."

 

The wrath of New York City greets the 2009 Heel of the year, Leon Rodez, as he makes his way through the entrance doors. In no hurry to reach the ring, he slowly saunters down the ramp, fixing an evil eye on numerous audience members.

 

COLE

Ever since Krista took the world title from Leon Rodez he has been hungering to get it back, and this may be his greatest opportunity yet.

 

COACH

It’s a damn decent draw he’s got. Half the field is gone, and the guys in the ring are already worn out.

 

COLE

And he might get some revenge against Reject for cashing in his money in the bank match on his time.

 

The moment Rodez enters the ring, he’s sprung upon by PRL. The Latin Lion throws a cavalry of right hands that take Leon off his feet. Fortunately for Leon, Scottish Scott still holds hatred for PRL and smashes his forearms into his back. This allows Rodez to leap to his feet and take aim at PRL. Together with Scottish Scott he bundles up PRL and begins tipping him over the ring ropes. But PRL fights back and eventually worms his way back into the squared circle.

 

COLE

A very close call for PRL.

 

COACH

Not close enough! Someone hurry up and get this geek outta this match!

 

Elsewhere Baron Windells is forced to do battle with the Deadly Alliance representatives. The Gunslinger holds his own with them both, until Sandman hits a basement dropkick onto his knees. This weakens Windells, and permits MD and Sandman to begin forcing him over the ropes. But Windells is saved somewhat when PRL inadvertently bumps into Mister Dick. Upset about the interruption, MD promptly turns his focus on PR and the two go back to pummeling each other.

 

“P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!”

 

Meanwhile, Leon Rodez and Scottish Scott have ended their working arrangement and are fighting as full-fledged enemies. Scott ducks a swinging right hand, and slides behind Leon to capture his waist. He then lifts Rodez upright, hoping to drop him over the ropes with a back suplex. But Rodez effortlessly counters the attack, by shooting forward and striking down Scott with a bulldog. Grumbling to himself, Leon then picks Scott up and batters the mohawked performer with knife edge chops.

 

10

9

8

7

 

COLE

Who could be next?

 

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

"Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis plays, bringing out Nathaniel Black. The surly superstar hops back and forth on both feet before darting into the ring. Picking himself up off the canvas, Black hits at PRL. Not expecting the attack, PRL is knocked off balance. Seeking to blast him out the ring, Black builds up speed on the ropes. But as he approaches The Latin Lion, PRL bends down and back drops him over the ropes! The fans watch in annoyance, as Black easily comes down on his boots. PRL charges him but eats a knee to the face for his troubles.

 

COACH

Now that’s what I like to see. PRL getting his nose knocked clear off his face.

 

COLE

Black does pose a huge threat at number twenty-three in the rumble.

 

Leon and Mister Dick make a joint effort to get BW out of this contest. But their efforts are for naught as BW fends them both off with powerful kicks. MD staggers away, but Leon keeps up the battle with Baron. He whips the Gunslinger into a corner, and quickly follows that up with the Superman Spear! Windells staggers out the corner, giving Leon the chance he needs to run the ropes. He nears Baron, but is immediately intercepted by a spear from Scottish Scott.

 

COLE

Leon couldn’t have been expecting that.

 

COACH

Mikey, you’re never safe in a Lethal Rumble.

 

COLE

Unless, you’re Landon Maddix who’s flipping through an Entertainment Weekly.

 

Maddix’s scheme catches the attention of Baron Windells, who’s locked into a fight with Nate Black.

 

“Pardon me one second, friend.” Baron asks, then ducks through the ropes before Nate Black can catch him.

 

COACH

What’s Baron doing out of the ring?

 

COLE

What’s Landon doing outside of the ring?

 

COACH

Enjoying fine literature.

 

Maddix looks up from his magazine, and sees the troubling sight of angry Texan hovering above him. Needing no further prompting, Maddix immediately tries to scurry away. But there’s no escaping the long arm of Baron as he clamps down on Maddix’s neck. The audience roars their approval as The Gunslinger drags Maddix back to the ring.

 

“Unhand me! Unhand me!” Maddix whines, as he’s humiliatingly dragged across the outside mats. Finally Landon is slung back into the ring, to cheers of the thousands in attendance. But Baron hasn’t a moment to enjoy the fruits of his labor as he’s attacked by Sandman.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Colombian Heat roars out the entrance doors, and runs at top speeds to the ring. Upon entering the ring he goes to work in battling back Mister Dick. He needn’t work alone, though; his partner, PRL, comes to his aid. Together they take turns in delighting the crowd, by beating on Black. The two step backwards, nod to each other, and then throw themselves forward to double lariat MD over the ropes! But once again, Black proves hard to kill; he’s grabbed onto the bottom rope and uses that to save himself from a close elimination.

 

COACH

I thought that was it for Nate Black!

 

PRL backs away, letting Heat affix himself to the task of stomping at Mister Dick. The South American superstar doesn’t have much luck as MD simply refuses to be brushed out the ring. Dejected, Heat turns to his partner for help. But all he gets is a dropkick to the face! As the fans react in shock, Heat tumbles over the top rope and falls past Mister Dick and onto the outside mats.

 

COLE

I don’t believe it!

 

COACH

Finally Tha Puerto Rican has done something right in his life.

 

Barely able to believe what’s just occurred, Heat lowers his head and walks off. Even the encouraging pats on the back from the audience fail to bring him some consolation.

 

COACH

That cornball lowered the coolness of this rumble by ten thousand points; thank the god lord he’s gone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colombian Heat

Entered: 24th

Left: 16th

Time of participation: Forever

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: PRL

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, PRL, Leon Rodez, Scottish Scott, Nate Black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Scottish Scott and Leon Rodez renew their battle near the edge of the ring. Scott takes control of the bout by snatching Leon into a front facelock. He attempts to lift Leon up for a vertical suplex. But the attempt meets in failure as Leon is the one who lifts him into the air. He drapes Scott’s body across the ring ropes, and lets it hang suspended on the cables. Rodez then twirls around and strikes Scott in the face with the One Hit Kill! Scott’s body rockets upwards, allowing PRL to come in and aid Leon in pushing him off the apron and onto the floor!

 

COLE

Scottish Scott is done!

 

COACH

Poor Queen Esther!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scottish Scott

Entered: 21st

Left: 17th

Time of participation: Forever

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Leon Rodez, PRL

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, PRL, Leon Rodez,, Nate Black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

10!

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Accompanied by no entrance music but solid fanfare is Biff Atlas. The would be superhero waves with a smile to the innocent citizens of New York. But that smile quickly vaporizes when Vinny Valentine attacks him from behind!

 

COLE

Now what is this?

 

Giving Biff no moment to protect himself, Valentine throws him into the guardrail. As referees rush to Biff’s aid, Vinny stands over him performing a celebratory disco dance.

 

COLE

Just a deplorable action!

 

COACH

I agree Biff had no right coming out to this rumble.

 

COLE

That’s not what I’m talking about.

 

Biff’s plight doesn’t quite register on the participants mind, as they continue their quest for an Anglemania title shot. In the center of the ring, Leon Rodez and Landon Maddix do battle. Rodez unleashes a an army of left jabs that stumbles Maddix and pushes him dangerously close to the ropes. Rodez then launches his boy forward and it’s a modified superman spear to Landon’s chest that flings the both of them over the top rope. They quickly regain their footing and composure and resume their war.

 

COLE

Landon Maddix and Leon Rodez are both in a very dangerous position.

 

PRL seems to realize that, but can’t take advantage of it due to Mister Dick striking him from behind. The Human Hard On grabs him into a full nelson, the setup for the Pure Penentration. But MD’s efforts are blocked by PRL, who muscles his way out the hold. This takes MD by surprise and he’s defenseless against the boot to the gut PRL strikes him with. The Latin Lion swings around and catches MD with The Cappa Killer (stunner)

 

“IN YOUR FACE, BITCH BOY!” PRL screams at his defeated foe.

 

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

 

Elsewhere, BW, Sandman, Black continue to battle it out. BW has Sandman halfway over the ropes, but Sandman fights back with a series of elbow strikes. Weakening BW with those attacks, Sandy works his way back into the ring. He catches BW by surprise by lifting him with a front facelock and situating him on the top rope.

 

COLE

What does Sandman have in mind, he’s entering dangerous territory,

 

The crowd’s attention is caught by countdown clock, as Black backs away from Sandy and BW

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

Cue: Collective Soul-Shine

 

“Give me a word

Give me a sign

Show me where to look

Tell me what will I find (What will I find?)~

Lay me on the ground

Fly me in the sky

Show me where to look

Tell me what will I find (What will I find?)”

 

“YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

The fans wonderful delight is aimed directly at Quentin Benjamin, who appears on the entrance stage. He nods to himself and then darts down the ramp.

 

COLE

The best pure athlete in the OAOAST today, Quentin Benjamin making his arrival into the contest.

 

Benjamin immediately lets his presence be felt with a springboard lariat takes out both MD and PRL! The crowd applauds his athletic showing, whereas Mister Dick curses him and promises revenge. However, MD is all talk as he allows PRL to confront Benjamin. The two pound on each other with closed fists, until MD decides to participate and throws them both over the ropes! MD then grabs his crotch and spits at the audience. But it’s a premature celebration, as PRL and Benjamin both skinned the cat to get back into the ring. MD becomes horrified as they grab onto his slick backed hair and chuck him over the ropes. Thankfully for The Human Hard On, he manages to save himself by again taking hold of the ropes.

 

COLE

Mister Dick has been on the verge of elimination all the way through this match, and yet somehow he finds away to keep his Anglemania mainevent drive alive.

 

COACH

I feel bad about saying this about duke, but its only a matter of time before he goes out.

 

While Benjamin and PRL work over an exhausted MD, Sandman has scaled to the top rope to join Baron Windells. He attempts to hook him inside a front facelock, but meets with rebellion as Windells begins punching him in his stomach. Sandman attempts to fight back with a headbutt, but BW will not be stopped and over powers Sandman with punches. Now firmly in control of the exchange, BW lifts Sandman onto his shoulders, and rises to his feet. An amazed gasp fill the stands, as the fans wonder what might they’re about to witness

 

COLE

Good god, what could Baron be doing?

 

Baron wows the sold out Madison Sqaure Garden crowd by throwing Sandman off his shoulders and to the floor bellow! The moment Sandman hits the mat, he erupts with violent screams, while the audience erupts with overjoyed shouts.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sandman

Entered: 16th

Left: 18th

Time of participation: Forever

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Baron Windells

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Quentin Benjmain, PRL, Leon Rodez, Nate Black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Maddix gets back into things by clubbing Windells as he tries to get down from the turnbuckles. But Windells quickly recovers, and Maddix is filled with fear as the Cowboy begins stalking his retreat. Fortunately for Maddix, Black comes to his rescue by smashing his fists into the back of BW’s head. Now Landon feels his oats, and decides to punish BW for earlier transgressions. Together with Black they hook onto BW’s head, lift him into the air and drop him across the top rope. They then leap into the air and strike his back with dropkicks! To their dismay, BW falls forward into the ring, instead of backwards out of it.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT

 

No one is quite happy to see Logan Mann make his arrival into the 2010 Lethal Rumble. Least of all is QB, who regards the MACHO Macho Mann with open disgust. As Logan enters the ring, QB’s day is made as he strikes Mann down with a diving shoulder tackle.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Benjamin kips up and brings Mann to his feet, where he goes across his face with right hands. But Mann himself is no stranger to a brawl, and begins unleashing his WICKED left hands. Having stunned QB, Mann takes off to the ropes, when he returns he flattens QB with a polish hammer.

 

COLE

Lots of history between The Heavenly Rockers and Team Heyross. Lots of history and a lot of bad blood.

 

Elsewhere Maddix and PRL are engaged in a war of attrition. Both men are tangled up in the ropes, trying to eliminate the other.

 

COACH

Two former world champs going right at it, Mikey, they know all about the prize at the end of this race.

 

PRL and Maddix’s stalemate comes to an end when Leon Rodez attempts to eliminate them both. But the two men land on the ring apron, and quickly roll back into the ring. Frustrated, Leon greets them both with stomps to the back of the head. Unfortunately, karma catches up to him and he’s struck in the back of the head with a Stiff Kick! The shot propels him into the ropes, leaving him a sitting duck for Mister Dick. The Human Hard On runs forward and kicks Leon in the back, flipping him over. But like Maddix and PRL, Leon lands harmlessly on the apron.

 

“Ah crap!” Mister Dick bemoans.

 

Elsewhere, Logan has hold of both of QB’s legs. He bridges backwards and throws the 3 time tag champion into towards the ropes. QB tumbles over the cables, and his harsh crash into the ring apron. Mann smiles widely at his enemy’s predicament, and rushes forward to eliminate him from the contest. But Benjamin catches hold of Logan’s arm, and arm drags him over the ropes and to the outside floor!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan Mann

Entered: 27th

Left: 19th

Time of participation: Forever

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Quentin Benjamin

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Quentin Benjmain, PRL, Leon Rodez, Nate Black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Logan leaps to his feet and throws a tantrum in a style only he can capture. Referees are threatened, audience members are cursed, and cameramen are shoved.

 

COLE

Oh my, Logan has completely blown his stack!

 

But suddenly Logan’s face forms a satisfied smile. The reason for his delight is seen clear as day by everyone except Quentin Benjamin. That’s because he has his back turned to Synth Abdul-Jabbar!

 

COLE

Oh no!

 

COACH

Oh yes!

 

Synth spins QB around, and without hesitation or delay drives him into the canvas with Percussion DDT. More damage looks to befall QB, but there’s a sudden pop as Charlie Moss races out to save his partner from further pain. Synth dives out the ring, and he and Logan make a hasty retreat trailed by Charlie Moss.

 

COLE

Those damn Rockers, Synth had no business doing what he did. Their day will come.

 

For now its QB’s day that’s comes as the amateur star is easily chucked over the ropes by Leon Rodez.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quentin Benjamin

Entered: 26th

Left: 20th

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Leon Rodez

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez, Nate Black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

To almost everyone’s surprise, Tony Tourettes rushes out from the backstage area.

 

“EAT A ZEBRA’S MOLDY SKUNK PISS!” he shouts into the nearby camera.

 

COACH

The hell is this moron doing out here?

 

COLE

He’s just having a little fun at number 28 in the rumble!

 

Cursing like a drunken sailor, Tony hits the ring and immediately goes to town on Leon Rodez.

 

“PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY NUTS, DICK WEASEL, AND SEE IF I SCREAM!”

 

His odd insults and piddling blows do little to damage the Grand Rapids native, but they do succeed in angering him deeply. Thus it’s with little remorse, that Rodez pie faces him over the ropes and out this contest.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony Tourettes

Entered: 28th

Left: 21st

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Leon Rodez

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

That just crossed the line!

 

COACH

Crossed the line? Was he just supposed to let Vinny’s retarded cousin stand in the middle of the ring and invite him to touch his penis? Is that the point of the Lethal Rumble?

 

Hardly able to stand after performing in this marathon, Mister Dick tries to attack Leon Rodez. But The Fallen Idol makes him pay dearly with a pair of flesh searing chops to his buff chest. Mister Dick takes another swing at Leon, but Rodez ducks down and takes MD’s legs out from under him. In one swift motion he turns over MD into the Liontamer.

 

COLE

You can’t win by submission here, but you can certainly wear down an opponent.

 

Hanging on with all his might, poor PRL finds himself faced with elimination by Baron Windells. But PRL is spared for the time being by Landon Maddix who smashes his archrival in the back with a forearm. PRL can only breathe easier for a moment before Maddix goes after him and attempts to push him over the turnbuckles.

 

“MADDIX SUCKS! MADDIX SUCKS! MADDIX SUCKS!”

 

While a worn down MD tries to fight out the Liontamer, Baron grabs onto Maddix and pulls him away from PRL. He lifts the Spanish superstar onto his shoulders and prepares to launch him over the ropes. But Maddix scrambles for safety and finds grabbing on the ring ropes to provide him some security. But that lasts for only a fleeting second before PRL cracks him with a superkick to the face! Maddix falls over, onto the apron but not out the ring. PRL and Baron try to stomp him off the squared circle, but have little luck as Black comes to the rescue of his leader.

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Out comes Faqu, drawing wowed and concerned gasps from the audience.

 

COLE

We’ve seen Cuban Wall, Tommy G, and Bohemoth meet with quick ends, can Faqu break the “big man curse”?

 

Maddix smiles, now blessed with having two of his cronies, to aid him. But that smile quickly is replaced by a worried frown, as PRL surprises Black with a dropkick to the back. Black tumbles over the ropes, falling past Maddix and landing onto the ring canvas.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nate Black

Entered: 23rd

Left: 22nd

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: PRL

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez, Faqu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Faqu is a Samoan on fire as he takes out PRL with a Samoan spike! PRL falls to the canvas, and rolls out to the apron to avoid further beating from Faqu. The savage monster then turns on BW beating his face with open hand slaps. But Baron doesn’t have to fight alone as Mister Dick comes to attack Faqu. Soon Leon Rodez joins in and together they all muscle Faqu towards the ropes.

 

COLE

It might take all their might to rid the ring of Faqu!

 

PRL decides to stop catching a breather and aid the three in getting rid of Faqu. But he’s cut off by Landon Maddix, who tackles him to the ground. Maddix then tries to come to Faqu’s rescue, but his leg is grabbed by PRL. He can only watch in agony as the threesome dumps Faqu over the ropes.

 

COLE

And they did it!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faqu

Entered: 29th

Left: 23rd

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Mister Dick, Leon Rodez, Baron Windells

Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The group of three then turn on each other all battering the others with sharp punches. Elsewhere, PRL and Landon Maddix continue to trade shots. But, Maddix ends the slugfest to snatch PRL onto his shoulders. PRL struggles to be free, but there’s little he can do before he’s nailed with the Go2Sleep by Maddix!

 

“OOOOHHHHHHHH!”

 

PRL topples sideways leaving him easy pickings for Maddix. But Maddix is caught by surprise by BW who grabs onto his tights and then throws him over the top rope to the floor!

 

“YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, as Windells pumps his fist in triumph.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Landon Maddix

Entered: 4th

Left: 24th

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: none

Eliminated by: Baron Windells

Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

That had to feel good for Baron! It had to!

 

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1!!!!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

COLE

And we know who this is, the number 30 entrant in the Rumble!

 

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

 

(Jesus Walks)

God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down

(Jesus Walks with me)

The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now

(Jesus Walks)

And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs

(Jesus Walks with me)

I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long

 

Kanye West’s hit song sings The God Child Christian Wright into Madison Sqaure Garden. The boos are numerous and harsh as the undefeated superstar makes his way down the entrance ramp.

 

COLE

Could Christian Wright carry his undefeated streak into Anglemania and become the world champion?

 

In the ring PRL and Leon Rodez set up Mister Dick double team. An inverted atomic drop hobbles The Human Hard On, and the two come off the ropes to mow down MD with double knee strikes! They then turn their attention onto Christian Wright who’s surging towards them with lariats. The fast thinking former world champions duck the strikes and pop up to dropkick CW in the back. PRL then plays to the crowd,

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

But meets with a horrific end as Leon Rodez low blows him and tosses him over the ropes! But lo and behold PRL is able to save himself from sure doom. This does little to please Leon Rodez, who stomps away at his old rival. He quickly grows tired of mere stomping and begins to choke PRL with his black boots. The referees on the outside try to pry him off The Latin Lion, but Rodez refuses to relent.

 

“LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS!”

 

PRL is finally given a moment to breathe as Baron Windells pounces upon Leon. The two men battle back towards the center of the ring. The stronger of the two, BW, gains the upperhand and whips Rodez to the far corner. He charges in after him and makes the Fallen Idol bite his Shiny Metal Dick!

 

“YEAAAAAAA!”

 

Rodez stumbles out the corner, but has enough sense about him to duck BW’s spinning lariat. He then dropkicks The Gunslinger in the knees, bringing the big stallion down to the canvas. Rodez then once again skirts the rules of the match and begins choking BW into the ropes. The fans are appalled, and the referees are at a loss as to how to stop Rodez from his shady tactics. Thankfully help arrives in the form of PRL who begins hammering Leon with crazed fists.

 

COLE

Give it to him, Puerto Rican, give it to him!

 

COACH

This idiot is making things a lot more difficult for himself. If he was smart he would’ve let Leon choke out Baron and then toss the cowboy over the ring. Instead he wants to play captain save a ho and waste energy.

 

COLE

PRL is a man of honor and integrity. He plays the game the right way.

 

Elsewhere Christian Wright is in the process of battering Mister Dick in the corner. The Human Hard On tries to get his arms up to block the attack, but that effort only finds failure as CW begins striking him with lightening fast body blows. Having weakened Mister Dick with his attacks, CW begins forcing him over the ropes.

 

COLE

Could this spell the end of Mister Dick?

 

The Cocky Prick manages to save himself, by pulling out his steel cup and banging it off the side of CW’s head. The tables are now turned as Mister Dick is able to drag himself back into the ring. Immediately upon his entry he grabs CW’s gelled hair and begins chucking him over the ropes! But CW fights back and remains inside the squared circle.

 

COACH

I thought Wright was done for!

 

Wright drives a series of European uppercuts into Mister Dick’s chest. With MD weakened, Wright takes a run of the ropes. He darts back towards MD, ready to mow through him with a lariat! But Mister Dick dips low and upends Wright with a back body drop! The Natural sails over the ring ropes, and is carried to the outside with a plummet that drops him onto the mats.

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christian Wright

Entered: 30th

Left: 25th

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

FINAL FOUR: Mister Dick, Baron Windells, PRL, Leon Rodez

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Poetic justice for Mister Dick, eliminating the person who caused him to have the number one entry in the 2010 Lethal Rumble!

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Mister Dick slowly staggers back towards the center of the ring. He’s the captured into a front facelock from Baron. But BW can’t execute his finisher as MD shoves him back into PRL. PRLbegins battering BW with chops that force him all the way across the ring. PRL then backs up and charges at BW. But The Gunslinger grabs onto the third ropes and duck down to cause PRL to tumble over. However, PRL lands on the apron and immediately runs to the top rope. He comes flying off the top rope and strikes his foe with an axe handle smash.

 

COLE

A nice move there!

 

Mister Dick wearily slogs his bones to PRL, hoping to execute him with a lariat. But PRL stops him with a boot to the gut and attempts to dump him over the ropes. Using what little strength he has left in his body, MD begins to pull PRL along with him.

 

COLE

Both men could find their way out this match, Coach.

 

COACH

I think Mister Dick’s in trouble here, he can barely stand, much less eliminate a dude.

 

Both men topple over the ropes and onto the ring apron. There they trade punches, with PRL gaining an easy upperhand. In danger of being knocked off the apron, Mister Dick resorts to cheap tactics to save him. He low blows PRL, crippling him and dropping him to his knees. At this point Leon Rodez sees the end for PRL, and rushes over to him to bring it upon him. He spins around and connects with the One Hit Kill to send PRL falling off the ring apron.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRL

Entered: 20th

Left: 26th

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: Mad Cappa, Colombian Heat, Nate Black, Scottish Scott

Eliminated by: Leon Rodez

FINAL THREE: Mister Dick, Baron Windells, Leon Rodez

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Here we are down to three men. One these three will be one half of your Anglemania mainevent!

 

Mister Dick uses the ropes to bring himself upright. But as soon as he stands he’s thrown under attack by Leon Rodez. Unable to trade blows due to exhaustion Mister Dick clamps onto Rodez neck and brings him over the ropes.

 

COLE

What a show of strength by Mister Dick, lifting Leon Rodez by his neck and onto the apron.

 

Not looking overly panicked, Leon Rodez merely kicks at Mister Dick and wins his freedom. He resumes pounding on Mister Dick, lowering The Human Hard On to the ground with his attacks. Leon backs up, readying himself for a One Hit Kill. But as he spins forward, Baron Windells intercepts him and turns him inside out with a lariat! Leon flips off the apron, and lands painfully on the ring mats!

 

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leon Rodez

Entered: 22nd

Left: 27th

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: PRL, Quentin Benjamin, Faqu, Tony Tourettes

Eliminated by: Baron Windells

FINAL TWO: Mister Dick, Baron Windells,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Its looks like Leon Rodez quest to regain the world title have met another setback.

 

COACH

That’s a damn shame, Mikey, I thought Leon Rodez had this one

 

Although Baron could easily eliminate Mister Dick, he decides to be a good sportsman and allows Mister Dick to reenter the ring. Strangley, MD is displeased with this and barks that he doesn’t want any charity. BW shrugs his shoulders, and mouths “I tried” before he starts unleashing furious punches upon Mister Dick.

 

COLE

The Lone Star Gunslingers are throwing down for a chance to go to Vegas and mainevent Anglemania!

 

Mister Dick’s arm is caught and he’s whipped into a corner. Windells charges after him, and strikes him with body slash. He then works his way to the top rope as MD staggers away from the corner.

 

“Its clobberin time!” he shouts to a roaring New York audience then flies off the top rope to take down Mister Dick with a lariat!

 

COLE

He caught him there!

 

“Up!” BW shouts to his old partner. MD slowly rises off the canvas, and is met with powerful right hands from Windells. BW backs off MD and runs forward with a shoulder tackle. But MD counters with a dropkick! But he can move no further than that as exhaustion overwhelms him.

 

COACH

Both these two have been in the ring for a long time, but Mister Dick has been here right from the very start.

 

Baron begins attempting to push MD over the ring ropes. He only gets half his body over the top, before MD uses a thumb to the eye to save himself. He works his way back into the ring, but is caught with overhand rights by BW. Windells then rips MD into the far ropes. When MD returns Baron captures him into his arms, and signals to the crowd that the Devil’s Addiction (fallaway slam) is coming.

 

COLE

Here it comes!

 

BW throws MD backwards, launching him over the ropes and straight to the outside ring mats!

 

COLE

Mister Dick is gone!

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream with overjoyed glee. Windells can hardly believe his great luck, and with teary eyes happily salutes the fans that are now on their feet.

 

COLE

Baron Windells did it! Baron Windells it! He’s living the dream! Incredible! Baron Windells will meet Reject at Anglemania!

 

COACH

I don't believe it!

 

“BARON! BARON! BARON!” the audience sings, as the victorious gladiator raises his arms in triumph and smiles in absolute rapture.

 

Suddenly, Mister Dick throws Baron over the ropes and onto the floor!

 

DING DING DING!

 

COLE

What the? What’s going on?

 

Bone weary and unable to stand, Mister Dick falls flat on his back and points to the videoscreen as validation for his actions. What it shows is Mister Dick using the bottom rope to pull himself away from the flooring and back into the ring before his feet could even scrape the ground.

 

COLE

I don’t believe it!

 

Neither can Baron, who vehemently debates with the referees over his sudden and crushing loss. His argument is so intense and full of heat that his partner, Tim Cash, must come to ringside to calm him down.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baron Windells

Entered: 14th

Left: 28th

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: CMJ, CPA, Bosley, Sandman, Faqu, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez

Eliminated by: Mister Dick

Left in ring: Mister Dick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The WINN0R!

Mister Dick

Entered: 1st

Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE

Eliminated: J-MAX, Vinny Valentine, Tyler Bryant, Spencer Reiger, Ned Blanchard, Faqu, Denzel Spencer, ThunderKid, Christian Wright

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen the winner of the 2010 Lethal Rumble…..MISTER DICK!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

Folks, Mister Dick is going to Anglemania to face none other than Reject! He has survived the number one entry to do the impossible!

 

COACH

All is right in the world. God bless.

 

A plentiful shower of red and gold confetti gently rains down on the ring. Mister Dick can hardly find it within himself to celebrate, so worn from his exploits of the evening. Instead he lies down on the mat, a warm smile and delighted chuckles forcing its way through his lips.

 

FADE OUT

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ANGLEPALOOZA 2010

 

DIRECTED BY

Patty O'Green

 

WRITTEN BY

Alfdogg

Tony149

Patty O'Green

King Cucaracha

 

GRAPHICS

King Cucaracha

 

OAOAST CREATED BY

cobainwasmurdered

Tony149

Anglesault

 

© 2010 OAOAST Entertainment

All Rights Reserved.

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