King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2010 The groovy grooves of "Rock Your Baby" turn the arena into a makeshift disco, as Vinny Valentine enters into the dry ice covering the stage and starts busting some dated moves. BUFFER The following contest is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match, set for one fall. Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York. Weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "THE DISCO DUCK"... VVVVVVVIIIIIIIINNYYYYY VVVVVAAAAAALLLLEEEEENNTTIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vinny disco dances his way to the ring, looking proud of himself and his discoing abilities. COLE The man who stole Biff Atlas's Lethal Rumble dreams this past Sunday, attacking Biff as he was about to enter the match. COACH Hey, remember the other week when we were talking about Biff holding the Lethal Rumble record, for least time in the ring? And how we were all like "well, at least he won't beat that this year"? COLE I don't remember saying that... COACH Well, guess what. HE DID. This year he managed to set the record of 0 seconds! What a loser! 3 Doors Down's "It's Not My Time" hits next and a much warmer reception greets Wrestling's Last Real Good Guy, Tim Cash. A warm reception which is given right back to the fans by Tim, who makes sure to give a warm, TWO-HANDED handshake to the fans as he passes down the aisle. BUFFER And his opponent. Hailing from Peoria, Illinois... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. He is wrestling's last real good guy... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM... CCAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE So both of these men looking to make it to the one night, first ever OAOAST King Of The Ring tournament to be held February 25th, when we are in Nerdly Country, Coach! COACH Even I gotta be able to find some tappable ass in that city! There's hundreds of girls there. And since they're Nerdlys, they share one brain cell between them! COLE Just the kind of woman you like. COACH Preach on! *DINGDINGDING* As always Tim tries to start the match off on the right note, with a handshake. Vinny would rather dance though. Not letting being shunned get him down, Tim compliments Vinny on his dance moves before they lock up. COLE What a kind and curteous king Tim Cash would make. COACH Fuck that noise. Kings have gotta be ruthless, rule with an iron fist, command their kingdom and make peasants clean their feet. That kinda shit. Cash applies a side headlock, keeping Valentine under control. Raising his arm Vinny looks for a way out. And he starts to bust out the Saturday Night Fever John Travolta dance, distracting Tim long enough to escape into a hammerlock! Cash sees the funny side. Dropping down, Cash rolls through and counters with an arm wringer, into a wristlock, bringing Vinny down to the mat. COLE A fine technical wrestler is Tim Cash. Vinny V... that's not really his style. Climbing back up Vinny bides his time, waiting for an opening. Before finding it with a knee to the gut. COLE Well, there you go. Vinny lands with some right hands then sends Cash off with an irish whip. A duck of the head comes too early though and Cash counters with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! As Vinny kicks out, Cash clamps his legs together though and starts barrel rolling, bringing Vinny V with him for a nauseating ride!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE You spin me round, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round. After two circles of the ring Cash somes to a stop with the disorientated Vinny V back in the sunset position... 1... 2... Kickout! Valentine is quickly back up, but dizzy. He throws a punch, easily ducked by Tim. Concerned for his opponent Tim tries to stop the match and check if Vinny is okay. To which Vinny replies with another punch, also ducked. Angry at being patronised Vinny gets his head right and then lets out a shout, running at Cash with a double axehandle. With a go-behind Cash pulls him down with a schoolboy counter... 1... 2... No! COLE Tim Cash wrestling circles around Vinny V. Quite literally, actually. COACH The man's dizzy, what do you expect? This Cash makes out like he's a nice guy, then he uses tactics like that, making his opponent look stupid. That's not nice. That's mean. Vinny finally manages to cut Cash off, booting him in the gut. Clubbing away at the back Vinny then stops to dance for a second. Boos greet that, so he gets on with the match and hits the ropes. Cash ducks a clothesline and hooks the arms, looking for a backslide. Vinny fights it though... and then GOES LOW, out of the referee's line of sight! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Lowblow, just like we saw happen to Tim at AnglePalooza! COACH That's what happens to nice guys. They get taken advantage of. With Cash caught cold Vinny reaches back, dropping him with a Neckbreaker. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Vinny picks Cash back up, slamming him near the corner. Up to the second rope The Disco Duck then starts to break out some more disco moves up on the ropes, a prelude to a big elbow buried into the sternum of Gentleman Tim. Cover again... 1... 2... No! Dropping to his knees, Vinny slaps on a chinlock and tries to wear Tim out. COACH Could you imagine Vinny Valentine winning this tournament? He really would be the King Of Disco then! And not just because of that medallion he bought on eBay a couple of years ago that says as much. COLE The one that turned his chest green? COACH Are you accusing Vinny Valentine of wearing cheap jewellery? COLE Does he wear any other kind? With the support and friendship of the fans Tim is willed to fight back up. He goes to the midsection with an elbow. And another. And a third, breaking the hold. Off the ropes, Cash gets caught though and slapped into a Sleeper Hold by The Disco Duck! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Turn down the lights, baby! Tim starts to fade quickly, but realises he's in trouble and gets out. He shoots Valentine into the ropes with a shove in the back and turns the tables, hooking on a Sleeper of his own!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Caught him! The shocked Vinny flails around, flopping like a fish caught in the old school Sleeper. Before he can be put away though Vinny finds the presence of mind to back up, falling into the ropes to gain a break. Tim immediately lets go, not using a second of the referee's count to commit extra, illegal damage. Instead he whips Vinny to the ropes. Cash ducks his head and Vinny reads it, trying to make him pay with a Swinging Neckbreaker, only for Tim to turn it all the way around into a Backslide!! COLE Could have him! 1... 2... NO! Valentine jumps up and goes for a clothesline, but Tim ducks. With a waistlock he runs Vinny into the ropes, looking for a rollup. Vinny hangs on though and as Cash rolls through to one knee, Vinny puts on his BOOGIE SHOES!! COLE OH! Could this be a BIG win for Vinny Valentine!? Cover by Vinny... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Not quite! COACH C'mon Vinny, stay on him. It's not over until the disco ball stops spinning! As Vinny waits for Cash to get back up, suddenly a cheer goes up for BIFF ATLAS!! COACH Oh, what's this moron doing out here!? Biff jumps to the apron and tries to get into the ring, but the referee holds him back. Which leaves him wide open for Vinny V, running him off the apron with a hard knee to the side of the head!! COACH :D COLE Poor Biff just got rocked. Happy with his work Vinny disco dancing, looking down at Biff laid out at ringside. Nodding to himself, Vinny then turns around... and gets CRACKED in the back of the head with an Enziguri! Vinny flops to the mat and Tim wastes no time, cradling the legs and slapping on the MIDWEST SLING!! The crowd go wild, as it takes Vinny no more than a couple of seconds to give up, tapping like a drunk man!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING* COACH Ah, come on! You're going to take that Tim? Gimme a break. Tim quickly lets go of the hold and celebrates, big smile on his face. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring Tournament... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIMMMMM... CCAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Tim shakes the hand of the referee before it's raised in victory. COLE Tim Cash makes it to the King Of The Ring tournament with a big win here on HeldDOWN. COACH At least you didn't call him "Gentleman Tim", or "Niceguy Tim". You have your opponent distracted, then you hit him from behind? That's what counts as being a gentleman these days? COLE That's no worse than Vinny Valentine attacking Biff from behind on Sunday. As the saying goes, do unto others as they'd do unto you. And Vinny V just had it done unto him tonight. Justice from one half of Citizen Soldiers! COACH Ah, baloney. Despite being dazed, Biff is ready to go back into the ring and attack Vinny V again. However Tim Cash holds Biff back, convincing the simple minded Atlas to do the right thing and leave Valentine be. So all that are exchanged are words, Vinny V not happy at Biff's part in his loss and Biff still seething about his former partner's actions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
