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Tony149

HD: THR vs. Team Heyross

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COLE
Guess who’s joining us on the sofa for our next match, partner? 

COACH
Academy Award-winner Sidney Poitier?

COLE
Think younger, hotter and gayer! 

[i][b][color=#FF00FF]Hey, hey, you, you
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way, no way!
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you
I could be your girlfriend![/color][/b][/i]

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

COACH
Aw, damnit.

Coach’s worst fears are realized as COD walkout to the tune of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. 

COLE
2010 Anderson Cup Finalists Chicks Over Dicks, welcome to Sofa Central. 

ALIX
Gracias, amigo. 

COACH
Wha…? 

KRISTA
No, Ally, that’s Spanish. We’re in Canada. 

ALIX
Oh right. Bonjour! 

KRISTA
Close enough. 

[i][size=4][color=#FF0000][b]HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT![/b][/color][/size][/i]

The familiar music of the Heavenly Rockers play them down the multicolored lit stage.

BUFFER
The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The Heavenly Rockers shoot COD daggers from the ring. 

COACH
There they are, ladies -- and I use that term loosely -- the men who defeated you once for the gold and will defeat you again at the Nerdly Spectacular, this time for the Anderson Cup… the Heavenly Rockers. 

ALIX
It’s 2010, not 2008, Count Chocula. So they beat us once, props to them. Now they gotta do it again. 

KRISTA
And I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you, Coach. 

“Shine” by Collective Soul cues.

BUFFER
And their opponents… total combined weight 485 pounds… 3-time former World tag team champions… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Team Heyross pose as red, white and blue pyro blasts in the background.

KRISTA
Isn’t this the part where you go on and on about Team Heyross being the most decorated tag team in OAOAST history, Cole?

COLE
Usually, yes. But I thank you for doing that for me. 

ALIX
Krissy, does that mean we get paid double for doing Mikey’s job? 

KRISTA
Silence does a better job than Cole, sweetie. 

COACH
:lol:

* DINGDINGDING *

Benjamin and Synth get the nod for their respective teams and Benjamin executes a fireman’s carry out of a tie-up. Synth charges into a pair of arm drags and then a drop toehold. Benjamin applies a side headlock but Synth shoves him away. Shoulder tackle floors Synth, who turns onto his stomach as Benjamin shoots off the ropes, only to be caught trying to leapfrog with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Synth rolls away and tags out. Logan swings in over the top and points to Moss. 

COLE
Apparently Logan Mann wants no part of Quentin Benjamin.

KRISTA
Or Logan’s taking a stand against black on black violence in a desperate ploy to win an NAACP since a Grammy is out of the question. 

* phone vibrates *

ALIX
Just got a text from Melody.  “Pwned!” 

Moss tags in and takes Logan down with a go-behind, but Logan escapes and rakes the eyes. The Macho MACHO Mann pummels Moss and then sends him for the ride…but Moss puts on the brakes and knocks Logan straight back with a kick, followed by an STO BACKBREAKER!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Moss slams Logan and attempts a Vader Bomb, but Logan gets the knees up and delivers a top rope double axe handle smash!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Logan drives Moss into Synth’s knee and then baits Benjamin inside so he and Synth can double-team Moss in the corner. 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Alix, Krista, have you ever been double-teamed by a man? *laughs*

KRISTA
Hey Coach, have you ever had a dildo rammed up your ass? Because you will in the next few seconds if you don’t shut up!

COLE
I’d love to see that. And not for any sexual thrill. *nervous laughter* Coach has just been a naughty, naughty boy for a very long time.  

COACH
:huh:

ALIX
Coleminer has a whole new meaning now. 

COLE
Uh… And we have a tag! 

Thankfully the focus shifts back to the match. Double back elbow decks Moss,  and then Synth heads up to the middle rope for THE SKYHOOK ELBOW… BUT NOBODY’S HOME!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Benjamin receives the not so hot tag and cleans house. Moss joins in and all 4 men brawl in the ring. The action spills outside where the Colonel falls into the crotch of Krista!

COLE
The Colonel going where no man has gone before. Well, not since Ned Blanchard.

Repulsed, Abdullah SLAPS Krista! 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

Krista chases Abdullah around and eventually into the ring, only to have Synth jump her from behind. Synth holds Krista up as Abdullah pulls something out of his pants.

COACH
Contain your excitement, Cole. 

The match still ongoing Benjamin tries to sneak up on Synth, but Alix tackles the Synthmeister to the ground and Benjamin gets hit by a FIREBALL intended for Krista! 

COLE/COACH/MOSS/KRISTA/ALIX
:o

* DINGDINGDING *

Logan gives Moss a LOW BLOW outside and then shoves him into the RINGPOST. Logan jumps back in and attacks Krista while Holly goes after Alix. Meanwhile, OAOAST officials rush to Benjamin’s aid. 

COLE
All hell is breaking loose. 

The Heavenly Rockers deliver a pair of PERCUSSION DDT’S on COD, then pose over them as "Khyber Pass" by Ministry plays.

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