HD: Landon Maddix coronation ceremony

[King Cucaracha 0]

A soft purple hue hangs over the ring as we return to find the King Of The Ring ceremony ready to be conducted. A large, regal throne sits in the middle of the red carpetted ring. Hanging from gold stands are the robe, hate and scepter to annoint the new King.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your 2010 OAOAST KING OF THE RING... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

The triumphant trumpetting of "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays through the arena and the crowd rise to their foot to boo their new King! Beaming with pride, Landon emerges through the entrance with arms outstretched, lording it over the crowd. Following him out, no surprise, are the rest of Cucaracha Internacional. However, what is a bit of a surprise is who follows [i]them[/i]... Queen Esther and All The Queen's Men!

COLE
Isn't this fitting. The new King and the woman responsible for his victory, out here to celebrate together.

COACH
"Responsible" nothing. The only man responsible for greatness is the man himself. He beat seven men to be crowned King, that deserves your respect whether you like it or not.

COLE
Are you kidding? He beat [i]two[/i] men, Coach. He got a bye in the semi-finals and he only beat Denzel Spencer in the Finals thanks to a little assist from Queen Esther who was watching the match from ringside.

As the 10-strong party all enter the ring Landon looks at the throne with great joy. He looks around like a child on Christmas, looking for some sort of signal that he can infact actually sit in the seat and try it out. And at the first signal he scampers forward and gets himself comfortable in the plush red pillowed seat. The crowd are not impressed and boo loudly, threatening to ruin the coronation with chants of "LAN - DON SUCKS!"

COACH
Look how happy he is Michael! How proud he is to be King!

Practically giddy with delight Landon watches as two important looking suited figures enter the ring. Not important enough to be named or introduced though. They are apparantly in charge of the proceedings though, as they lift the large purple and gold robe from it's stand. Queen Esther looks on with great joy as Landon stands up and allows himself to be fitted with the robe. Taking his scepter, Landon then sits back down as the two suited men lift up the crown.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, once again, your KING OF THE RING... LANDON MADDIX!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

The crown is lowered onto Landon's head, his eyes wide in delight.

COACH
What a moment! What a great moment!

COLE
If Landon gets any more excited, his brain is going to explode.

With their duties done, the unnamed suits exit the ring, leaving Landon to address his crowd.

LANDON
Ladies and gentlemen... hang on, hang on. Sorry, I'm still getting the hang of this. [i]My loyal subjects[/i]...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

LANDON
Today is a brave new day in the OAOAST! Today, I, Landon Maddix, have been appointed your King. And it is with great pleasure that I accept this crown, this robe and this really cool wand here.

COLE
Scepter.

COACH
Whatever.

LANDON
As some of you may know my roots are very rich. My family were from a gifted country, Spain, a country steeped in royal tradition. I look from this point on to continue that fine tradition of Spanish royalty. And just as Juan Carlos, current King Of Spain, oversaw Spain's transition from dictatorship to democracy, I, Landon Maddix, King Of The Ring, will lead the OAOAST forward as a true leader of men. Not just a King for one country, but a King with international reach. Infact, you might say... I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

COLE
That might have been the smartest thing Landon has ever said... you know, until the Titanic quote.

Queen Esther can hold herself back no longer and takes the microphone, gushing with pride.

QUEEN ESTHER
Oh great joy and great salutations on this day, King Landon. You truly bring nobility and royalty to the OAOAST today. As I watched you last week I knew it was you and only you worthy of this crowd. And I simply had to take action. Heavens, it pained my heart to toy with the strings of fate. But I must. Must, I say!

COACH
See, she apologised.

COLE
Oh, yeah, sure.

LANDON
Thank you Esther. Your grace and beauty is an inspiration to me. That's why, as my first official proclaimation as King, I am announcing the MERGER of Cucaracha Internacional and All The Queen's Men, to form my Cucaracha [i]Kingdom[/i]!! However, this is one drawback. You see, any Kingdom... it needs it's Knights. Men who are willing to fight for their monarchy. But, in this Kingdom... there is only room for one King.

Landon's head turns towards The Last Kings Of Scotland, who look surprised to have apparantly been singled out.

LANDON
Especially when those Kings have already let their Queen down once before. Queen Esther's heart craved the Anderson Cup trophy to be mounted upon her wall. And you two let her down. You are unkempt. You are thuggish. And there is no room for you in this Kingdom.

Danny Boy and Scottish Scott protest their case, but Landon quiets them down.

LANDON
I'm sorry. Queen's orders.

Suddenly, RICO AND LUCIUS BLAST SCOTTISH SCOTT FROM BEHIND!! Danny Boy tries to fight them off but is overwhelmed by the attack. Cucaracha Internacional just stand back and watch, Landon overseeing this from his throne, as Rico and Lucius beat down the unprepared Scots. The right hands of Rico bust open the forehead of Scottish Scott from the mount position, while Lucius stomps the hell out of Danny Boy with his hard dress shoes.

COLE
I can't believe what I'm seeing! The Last Kings Of Scotland, being thrown out of the Kingdom, by men who were their own partners just a few days ago! And Queen Esther is just standing back and watching without a care in the world!

COACH
Those are not noble men. How Queen Esther put up with those brutes for so long, I don't know.

The beating is swift and brutal and The Last Kings Of Scotland are thrown from the ring. With that out of the way Landon smiles and attempts to move on. Megan, Black and Blonde all watch this with a little confusion on their faces. Referees come out from the back and help Scottish Scott to the back, with Danny Boy not wanting any help but being escorted out as well.

LANDON
With that unpleasantness behind us forever, we move onwards and upwards. A new day with the Cucaracha Kingdom reigning over the OAOAST! And together, we will rule over all who oppose us and all who worship us equally. And if you thought my leadership was powerful before, just imagine what great feats can be achieved now that I have a Queen by my side!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Queen Esther blushes and fans herself, embarrassed by the compliment.

However, she's not the only one.

Looking thoroughly fed up of all of this ceremony, Megan Skye walks around the back of the throne and starts to get into an arguement with Queen Esther!

COLE
Uh oh.

LANDON
Ladies... ladies, please!

Megan and Esther's confrontation continues, despite Landon's pleas for them to stop. And it starts to get ugly, as Esther informs Megan that "there's only room for one [i]Queen[/i] as well". Megan doesn't take kindly to this and scowls at Esther, before losing her temper and SHOVING THE QUEEN ONTO HER BUTT!!!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

QUEEN ESTHER
:O

COLE
OH MY~! I don't think Megan is taking too kindly to having Queen Esther muscle in on her territory!

Landon leaps from his throne and attends to Queen Esther, as do Blonde and The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. Shocked, Queen Esther looks mortified at having been embarrassed. Landon is horrified, trying to make sure his Queen is okay. Then, with a furious look on his face, Landon turns to Megan, who is understandably taken aback to see her man glaring at her.

LANDON
Nobody... but NOBODY... puts their hands on my Queen!

Surprised at being yelled at like this, Megan backs away. Landon remains furious, as he motions to Rico and Lucius.

LANDON
Knights... 


...[b]OFF WITH HER HEAD![/b]

COLE
WHAT!?

Given their orders, Rico and Lucius turn their attentions to Megan ready to attack!

COLE
What the HELL is this!? Landon is sticking his cronies on Megan!? Has he lost his mind!?

Megan backs away and cowers in the corner as the Hellfire Club close in on her, completely helpless. She tries to plead for some mercy, but Rico and Lucius aren't backing up, as Landon looks on with no signs of remorse for what is about to happen to his closest confidant. But before Rico and Lucius can lay a finger on Megan, there's help from an unlikely source, as NATHANIEL BLACK STEPS IN FRONT OF HER!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

BLACK
IF YOU WANT 'ER, YER GONNA 'AVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!

Surprised by this, Rico and Lucius stop, Black not backing down from the two! Angered by this Landon makes another signal. And Faqu is ordered in to take care of this situation, which he does, BY JUMPING NATHANIEL!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Megan sees Black go down and quickly gets out of the ring to safety, as Faqu, Rico and Lucius all put the boots to Nathaniel Black! The three on one is too much for Black and he's quickly overwhelmed. Once he's sure Black is down Landon walks over, watching the beatdown occur before stepping in. He moves Rico aside enough to hover over Black, screaming "TRAITOR! TRAITOR!" at the Englishman, before giving him a kick in the ribs. That angers Black enough to reach out and grab at Landon, but before he can reach, the stomps wear him down again.

COLE
This is ridiculous! Nathaniel Black stepped up and did the right thing and this is what he gets?

COACH
He betrayed the King's wishes! He's been a problem for Landon for months now. And he let him down one too many times, so now, the Kingdom has to deal with him, just like they did with Scottish Scott and Danny Boy.

With Black stomped until he's unable to defend himself, Landon finally calls a halt to the beating. Adjusting his robe he scowls down at the Englishman before turning his back to the 'traitor' and extending his arms to the booing crowd, trying to put all eyes back on him as "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays again. The applause of Blonde and Queen Esther is in stark contrast to the reaction of the fans and that of Megan, who stands on the outside, looking on shocked at the motionless Black.

COLE
If this "coronation" has proven anything, it's this. Landon Maddix has officially gone mad with power.

COACH
That's [i]King[/i] Landon.

The boos continue to rain down on the Cucaracha Kingdom as they leave the ring. Landon holding the ropes for Queen Esther, Blonde holding the ropes for Landon. Rico and Lucius keep an eye on Black incase he comes back for more while Faqu screams into the camera lens in Samoan. And despite the chaos that he's just caused, Landon seems intent on enjoying his status as King as he walks, head high, back up the aisle.