HD: LKOS promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

Backstage, Josh Matthews is stood by, although a certain safe distance away from, the seething Last Kings Of Scotland. Who with their angry snarls and mohawks aren't really people Josh is comfortable being too close to.

MATTHEWS
Joining me at this time, The Last Kings Of Scotland... and no doubt, still angry after what happened to you during the King Of The Ring coronation ceremony. You were cast aside by Queen Esther, attacked by The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club on orders of Landon Maddix. What are your thoughts now a couple of weeks on?

DANNY BOY
Our thoughts? Our thoughts are, we're bloody well pissed off!

SCOTTISH SCOTT
Aye! We got attacked... from behind, mind. We got laid out an' left fer dead. And tha' Queen Esther, she's walkin' around with her head in the clouds, she's got her new little "Kingdom" an' her fancy new King. Well Esther, lass, if yer listenin', we got a little message for ye'. If ye' thought that you an' yer new little Kingdom were just gon'nay beat us down and get us outta yer hair forever... yer [i]dead wrong[/i].

DANNY BOY
And Landon Maddix, ye' big soft arse nancy boy! I dunno if you know what you've gotten yerself in for, listening to that airhead Queen of yers. But you've gone and mad yerself some [i]very[/i] powerful enemies, lad. We're the meanest, most violent, most sadistic tag team in this whole entire company. Why? Cause we're Scottish! Brush up on yer history lad! Ye don't cross the Scots! We're gonna come after you an' yer Kingdom and we're gonna keep on unleashing hell on you until your castle has crumbled to pieces and your head is stuck on a spike coming outta the top of your throne! We're gonna lay waste to you. And we're gonna lay waste to anyone associated with you. Startin' tonight with Rico and Lucius, those two back-jumping cronies of yours. Maybe when we drop their two bloody carcasses outside yer gate, you and yer Kingdom'll understand the shit yer in!

Suddenly, up walks NATHANIEL BLACK. A tense situation is defused by MEGAN SKYE, stepping in as Black and the Scots look like they're about to go nose to nose.

MEGAN
Easy. We're not here for any trouble. We've got an offer for you.

DANNY BOY
Really? An' why would we be interested in any offer from this Southern softie?

BLACK
Listen... I ain't 'ere to ask for your 'elp. The way I see it, you two Jocks need a little 'elp yourself.

Seeing this isn't leading anywhere good, Megan steps in again.

MEGAN
What Nathaniel's trying to say is, we're all in the same boat here. We all want the same thing. There's two things we've got in common and that we can agree on. One... we're all miserable bastards. And two, we all want revenge on Landon, Esther and their flunkies.

Reluctant nods from the three miserable bastards.

MEGAN
So we've got a match all set up. March 28th. The Cucaracha Kingdom, for the 6-Man Titles, against Nathaniel and any two partners. If you want to be those two partners, great. If you don't... well, then you just missed and opportunity to get what you want. What's it going to be?

After looking at each other, The Last Kings nod and apparantly the deal is done.

SCOTTISH SCOTT
A word of advice tho' lassie... us Scots and English... we don'nay get along.

MEGAN
...don'nay?

BLACK
He means we're always 'avin a dust up, innit.

MEGAN
.....dust up?

DANNY BOY
We 'ate each other.

MEGAN
Ah. Okay. Fine by me.

The Scots walk off for their match, leaving Black and Megan behind, all looking about as happy as they possibly could with their new alliance. Which isn't very happy at all.