Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN OAOASTHD * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! The American Gladiators theme cues over the following voice-over. FROM CAESARS PALACE IN LAS VEGAS, NEVADA FED BY LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA Bill Conti's iconic theme continues to play as we open with an aerial view of the outdoor coliseum specially built for the event. BRANNIGAN (Voice-Over) You are looking LIVE at Caesars Place in Las Vegas, Nevada, the site of the most outlandish spectacle in parody e-fed, AngleMania! LIVE! ANGLEMANIA IX LAS VEGAS, NEVADA We cut to OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan draped in a TOGA near the fountain at the entryway. BRANNIGAN Hi again, folks. I'm your host Tony Brannigan. And tonight, you'll see 7 exciting matches featuring 4 title defenses, plus a few surprises. One of them happens to be a new addition to the OAOAST broadcast team. A true gladiator in the world of sports and entertainment, it's my pleasure to welcome the one and only... MIKE ADAMLE! Hi gang! There's a mass exodus until Roman guards muzzle Adamle with a slice of pizza and escort him out of the building. BRANNIGAN So much for a 3 man booth. But now it's time to introduce the men who will the action. Julius Caesar and Cleopatra present Michael Cole and Da Coach! Vegas SHOWGIRLS escort Coach to Sofa Central while Cole is carried in by heavily OILED MEN. Suddenly... BRUTUS "THE BARBER" BEEFCAKE runs in and puts Julius Caesar to SLEEP, then gives him a HAIRCUT. COLE Brutus Beefcake doing a little struttin' and cuttin'. COACH Careful, Cole. You may be next. Thankfully I'm bald. Cleopatra leaves with Brutus and over to Sofa Central we go. COLE We haven't even had a match yet and already it's been a wild show. COACH This is what makes AngleMania great, Cole. Anything can happen. COLE Like Mike Adamle joining the OAOAST broadcast team! COACH For all of 9 seconds. At least he had enough product awareness to show up with the right microphone. Oh wait, he didn't. COLE I'm just glad I don't have to carry 2 guys tonight. You're heavy as it is! But as Tony Brannigan said, ladies and gentlemen, we have 7 exciting matches for you headlined by Reject defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Mr. Dick. COACH From running with a pack of wolves to a bunch of rats, Mr. Dick is gonna learn he made the biggest mistake of his life going through with this match. Speaking of mistakes, Chicks Over Dicks are gonna regret pushing for the loser of the tag title bout to wear a dress for 30 days. Enjoy cooking the LDC Moneygang a nice hot meal girls. COLE In addition to that, the big Sin City Street Fight between the Heavenly Rockers and Team Heyross. Quentin Benjamin making his first appearance since getting burned by the fireball thrown by Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. COACH A fireball intended for Krista Isadora Duncan. Team Heyross' beef ought to be with COD, not the Heavenly Rockers who have never lost a Sin City Street Fight. COLE We'll also see Morgan put the Women's title on the line against Crystal and Biff Atlas battle former partner Vinny Valentine. But we kick things off with a 6-man title defense. So let's go up to Michael "Bufferus." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! The entrance is parted, but not for any of the competitors. Instead, a troupe of six trumpeteers march out. Pointing their trumpets to the Las Vegas sky they play a triumphant fanfare. The fanfare leading into "Parade Of The Charioteers", which takes over from the trumpeteers, putting their instruments aside and BOWING to their knees. Heading out first are Faqu and James Blonde, Blonde with a beaming smile on his face as he motions behind him. Where, after a few seconds, two ROMAN SOLDIERS lead the way for four more, carrying on their shoulders a platformed DOUBLE THRONE, carrying Queen Esther and King Landon, who is dressed up like CAESAR HIMSELF!! COLE Oh.. my.. word. BUFFER Introducing first. Total combined weight, seven hundred and seventeen pounds... they are the reigning, defending, OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... and accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER, the 2010 King Of The Ring... KING LANDON MADDIX... ladies and gentlemen, presenting, THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Queen Esther waves to the fans from her precarious throne, as does King Landon, before being FED A GRAPE by the Queen and giving a thumbs up. COACH What paegentry! What pomp! What circumstance! The Roman Empire has NOTHING on the Cucaracha Kingdom! COLE It's an entrance fit for a King here at AngleMania IX, live from Caesar's Palace! Blonde and Faqu enter the ring and Blonde looks on with great pride as the four burly Romans struggle down to ringside carrying the royal load. Managing not to break their backs somehow, they slowly lower the double throne down between the apron and the guardrail, allowing Queen Esther to hold the ropes and King Landon to step off, spinning triumphantly into the ring in his Caesar fancy dress costume. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dropping to his hands and knees Blonde shows reverance to the King, as Faqu just stands and gnaws at his title belt. COLE It's nice to see Landon and Esther entering into the spirit of the occassion. But, they'd better get serious now. Because now, they've got three bitter Brits to answer to. As the Romans take the thrones away, The Cucaracha Kingdom lord it up in the ring. Until "Mother" by Danzig hits. All business, out march The Last Kings Of Scotland, with Nathaniel Black a few steps behind, backed up by Megan Skye. BUFFER And introducing the challengers! At a total combined weight of seven hundred and thirteen pounds. The team of DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT, THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND... and their partner, accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE, he is NATHAAAANNNIIIIEEEEELLLL... BBLLLAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" The Scots slide into the ring and send The Kingdom scattering, Faqu on orders, the rest out of fear. Black wears a sour expression as he climbs up the steps, looking over the ropes at Landon on the floor. A similiar expression is worn by Megan, as the King consults with Queen Esther. COLE If ever there were a perfect example of the phrase "Misery loves company", it would be this team. What a collection of sour, miserable and worst of all for The Kingdom, angry human beings. *DINGDINGDING!* Not in any rush to get inside with the roaming madmen inside, The Kingdom stall on the outside, keeping Faqu back in the process. COLE Black and the Last Kings pacing around the ring, like lions at feeding time. As the referee encourages them to "get on with it", Landon tells him okay and puts an end to the stalling... by sending Blonde into battle. The Prince Of Panache doesn't seem too sure about this idea and he takes a little convincing. But, eventually, he gives in to Landon, because he's Landon. Blonde carefully slides in and comes up cowering from Nathaniel Black who's starting for the challengers. COLE Looks like James Blonde drew the short straw. COACH There are no short straws in the Kingdom, Cole. It's an honour to serve the King! No matter what the task. Sticking close to the ropes Blonde tries to calm his former partner down as he stands, staring, eyes piercing through his opponent. King Landon gets impatient again and orders Blonde to attack instead of cower. And he does, getting in one boot to the gut before getting beaten like a drum by Nathaniel!! Black clubs away at Blonde who's left wailing in pain, unable to get off his stomach as the forearms rain down on him! Eventually Black lets up, by which point Blonde can barely move. Black turns to Landon and just gives him a look, causing the King to cower away. COLE Nathaniel Black is not playing around here tonight! Black drags Blonde up by the hair and throws him into the turnbuckle. After some forearms and a European uppercut, he whips JB out, following him across the ring with a big clothesline! The crowd "OOOH!" as Blonde has the wind knocked out of his lungs and falls to his knees. Black drags him right back up though, whipping him back to the other corner and levelling him with another clothesline! COACH That's it James! Rope a dope! Wear him out! COLE What!? Barely able to stand, Blonde takes a big forearm to the jaw and drops like a stone. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Grabbing the hair again, Black drags Blonde over to the British part of the ring and makes a slightly tense tag with Scottish Scott. COACH Oh no. COLE Just when James Blonde things couldn't get any worse, here comes, 6'3, 260 pounds of mad Scotsman! Scottish Scott takes the reins from Black, ie. Blonde's hair. And he delivers a big Headbutt to knock Blonde down. A look of worry adorns the face of King Landon as his Prince is shoved back onto the mat and hit with a legdrop. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The first signs of encouragement in the match, applause from King Landon and Queen Esther, as they realise James Blonde is still alive. KING LANDON That's it James! Hang in there! COLE Hang in there!? His advice is worse than yours Coach! Scott picks Blonde back up, whipping him to the ropes. Able to duck a clothesline, Blonde picks up some speed, only to get steamrollered by a Scottish Scott shoulder block, sending him tumbling all the way to the other side of the ring! King Landon looks on, mortified. COLE James Blonde looks like he got hit by a truck! James Blonde probably feels like he got hit by a truck too! Tag is made, bringing in Danny Boy. Together the Last Kings Of Scotland pick Blonde up in the corner and puts a hand under each armpit. The Scots then proceed to toss Blonde through the air like a shotput, sending him halfway across the ring!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Danny Boy makes the cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE James Blonde is taking one hell of a beating here. A beating that's meant for Landon Maddix. And all King Landon can do, or perhaps is willing to do, is look on from the outside as Blonde takes the rap for him. COACH This is loyalty, Michael. A man willing to give his body to serve his Kingdom. COLE Well good, because that's exactly what he's being forced to do! Danny Boy beats on Blonde some more in the corner, The Trendsetter almost out on his feet at this point. Irish whip sends Blonde across the ring. But as Danny Boy attempts a charge, Blonde makes one last desperate move, diving out of the way! Danny Boy hits the turnbuckles hard and grabs his shoulder, as Blonde flops to his corner and despairingly tags in King Landon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Here comes the King! Jumping into action, Landon immediately puts the boots to the wounded Danny Boy. Unloading with a series of roundhouse kicks, Landon then places his foot on the throat, choking Danny against the middle turnbuckle. As the referee pulls King Landon away, in the corner Queen Esther attends to Blonde, trying to ail him by fanning air near his face (well, she's a Queen, not a doctor). COACH Look at the King go! COLE The 2010 King Of The Ring, finally in and on the attack. Snapmaring him out of the corner, Landon delivers a dropkick to the back of Danny Boy's head and goes for the pin... 1... 2... No! Landon quickly sinches Danny up in a front facelock. The Scot starts fighting back though. With shots to the ribs, Danny Boy is able to break free and grabs Maddix by the head, forcing the King to go to the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" That's more than enough duty done for the King's liking and he immediately makes the tag, bringing Faqu in to attack. Danny Boy falls into the corner blinded and is suddenly trapped, beaten on with wild shots from the Samoan savage. COACH Here's the power of the Kingdom! Nevermind angry Scots and bitter Brits, there's nobody meaner and nastier in the OAOAST than the Samoan Wrecking Ball! The referee tries move Faqu back and gets wailed at by the wild Samoan for his efforts. Grabbing Danny Boy's mohawk, Faqu seems a little confused by the strange hairdo as he hits Danny right in the neck with a shot. And another one. King Landon gives the encouragements and the orders from the outside, as Faqu whips Danny Boy into a corner. With a big head of steam Faqu then delivers an Avalanche, to the mirth of both King and Queen. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH If this doesn't count as treason, I don't know what does. Off with their heads King Landon! The King gets worked up by the chants and starts getting into it with the Caesar's Palace crowd on the apron. Meanwhile, Faqu scoops and slams Danny Boy, following it up off the ropes with a big jumping headbutt drop. He covers, after instructions from Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout! Megan tries to encourage Danny Boy on as Faqu drags him to the corner for the King, like a cat dragging a dead bird into the house. Accepting the tag Landon stomps away on Danny Boy a little. Then, with the stage all his, he takes a theatrical and Kingly bow in the centre of the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE And this crowd certainly not taking to their "King", here tonight in Las Vegas. COACH Look at this, all the pomp and the ceremony. We should all be celebrating royalty. Not booing it. Immensely proud of himself, Landon picks back up on the match. He sends Danny Boy into the ropes and busts out a Dropsault, picture perfect! The Queen is joyous on the outside, while Megan and Black look on with disgust. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Danny Boy quickly reaches out for a tag, but is far too far away. Landon drops a knee to the back and applies a modified camel clutch, giving him the chance to smirk it up in the face of the Kingdom's cast-offs. The smirk is too much for Black to stand and he tries to come into the ring, but is cut off by the referee, which allows Blonde to come in and help drag Danny Boy away from the corner before taking over with the camel clutch. COLE No tag made there. COACH That's okay. COLE How is it "okay", Coach, they're breaking the rules. COACH Well, if Landon wanted to he could just repeal that rule. He is the King, you know. The ref turns around and suspects foul play but the King and Queen insist a fair tag was made. Blonde stretches out Danny Boy with a smile on his face. The Scot starts to try and fight up though, not something to smile about. Blonde is forced to let go of the hold and drop a knee to the back to cut Danny Boy off. Thinking on his feet Blonde then says something to goad Black and Scott back into the ring, causing another distraction to allow for some triple teaming behind the ref's back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Before you start complaining, realise this. If these Brits weren't such hotheads then this wouldn't even be happening to their partner. So who's to blame, really? The stomps from all three champions wear Danny Boy down and when the referee turns around, he finds Landon leaving and Blonde covering... 1... 2... No! Quick tag brings the King back in. Danny Boy tries to get back to his feet, but while on his knees is grabbed by the mohawk. Landon lords it over the Scot for a second, before starting to kick Danny Boy across the face and forehead! COACH HAHA! Look at him, bowing down, kissing the King's feet! COLE This is just disrespectful. Landon turns away and soaks it all in, jeered by the crowd again. Queen Esther revers over him though and that's enough for Landon. However, when he turns around, Danny Boy is up. And he's not happy. COLE Uh-oh... I think the King just made him mad! Not sure what to do, Landon hits Danny Boy with a forearm. But Danny Boy just shakes it off. Another forearm connects. And Danny shakes his head, "no", causing the King to panic a bit. He looks around for some help, then connects with another forearm shot. Danny Boy responds by slapping himself across the face to show that all Landon's succeeding in doing is firing him up! And the King instantly begs off! COACH AAH! King! Not accepting of begging Danny Boy grabs Landon and punches him right in the face! Again! And a third time! QUEEN ESTHER Realising he's in trouble King Landon takes a big swing, but it's ducked. Danny Boy takes him up in the air and times an atomic drop, to cause Landon to fly forward and collide with James Blonde just as he comes in to aid his King! COLE The King and the Prince... more like the Clown Prince and the Jester if you ask me! Danny Boy turns away ready to make a tag, but is attacked from behind by Faqu. The Samoan pounds away at the back of Danny Boy. Dropping the Scot to one knee, Faqu beats his chest and lets out a roar. As he goes to hit the ropes though, he's clubbed in the back with a double sledge by Scottish Scott!! The clubbing blow staggers Faqu, but he shrugs it off, turning around and roaring as he charges Scott... ...who pulls down the rope, sending Faqu flying over his head and over the top rope!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Scottish Scott jumps off the apron and takes the fight to the floor with Faqu, while in the ring, Danny Boy crawls over and MAKES THE TAG TO NATHANIEL BLACK! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here we go! Nathaniel Black, the shackles are off! Stepping into the ring, Black waits for Landon and Blonde to pick themselves up and turn around. The moment they do, and see Nathaniel staring back at them, they are suddenly full of remorse and regret for what they've done. Blonde attempts to save his own ass and tries to make friends, with Landon pushing him in the back, trying to get him to move in and attack. Non-plussed by all of this, Black eventually yells out at the two and wipes them both out with a double clothesline! COACH Come on come on, protect the King! Blonde is up first and moves in on Black, but Black ducks his head and buries it into Blonde's midsection. With Blonde down and winded Black then turns his attentions and grabs a hold of Landon! COLE Black has his hands on the King! COACH Unhand him! Black takes too long thinking about it though and Blonde recovers, catching Black from behind with a cheapshot. A shocked Landon leaves his understudy to deal with Black, clubbing away before whipping the Englishman off the ropes. Black ducks underneath a clothesline though. Able to catch a boot, Blonde thinks he's survived, but throws Black off and gets hit with the BLACK LARIAT!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As Black turns around though, he's struck out of nowhere with a Superkick from Landon!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a kick, Landon was laying in wait, waiting to strike! Cover by Landon... 1... 2... Kickout! Queen Esther begins celebrating a bit early and catches herself in mid-jump, disappointed. KING LANDON GET UP! GET UP PEASANT! Being berated fuels Nathaniel, gritting his teeth in rage as he picks himself back up. Landon grabs him the moment he reaches his feet and sets him up, looking for the Complete Shot. But Black fights out with an elbow to the side of the head! And another! Staggered, Landon runs in, right into a foot to the face! And then another Lariat, knocking him off his feet! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Black grabs King Landon's blond locks and starts to drag him to his feet, signalling for the kill. Which is all Queen Esther can take and she gets onto the apron to distract the referee. COLE What is she doing? COACH Quiet! Clearly the Queen has something important to say. We'll never know, however, as no sooner has Landon taken advantage of the distraction with a knee to Black's kidneys, Queen Esther disappears! Thanks to Megan Skye, yanking her off the apron! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Queen Esther is shocked and turns around to give Megan a piece of her mind. Megan just rolls her eyes, before SLAPPING QUEEN ESTHER TO THE GROUND!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH AHH! Enraged, King Landon comes to the defence of his Queen and reaches out of the ring, GRABBING MEGAN BY THE HAIR! COLE HEY! What the hell are you thinking!? Before Landon can do anything more, Nathaniel Black comes to the rescue. Grabbing Landon by the seat of his pants he drags the King back into the ring and delivers the Half Nelson Backbreaker!! COLE That'll do it right there! 1... 2... KICKOUT! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH No! The King is alive! Long live the King! Black growls under his breath and does a quick slash of the throat, signalling for the end again. He picks Landon up and crosses the arms under the chest, looking for the Britannia Bomb. Landon drops to a knee and deadweights though, allowing James Blonde time to come off the top rope and put the BRAND LABELLING on Black with the knee to the side of the head!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Blonde starts to celebrate though, Danny Boy rushes in and clotheslines him over the top to the floor! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Goodnight, sweet Prince! With Faqu and Scottish Scott still brawling around ringside, Danny Boy waits for Landon to turn around. Ducking his head Danny elevates King Landon up, ready for an Alabama Slam. But instead, he drops to his knees, PILEDRIVING LANDON'S HEAD INTO THE MAT!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH AAAHH! COLE Landon got SPIKED, we've got new champions, surely! As the referee drops down to count the fall though, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB HIT THE RING!! COLE Wait a damn minute! COACH It's the King's cavalry! Lucius hops up onto the apron to reminstrate with the referee, distracting him from the pin. Realising there's no pinfall being counted, Danny Boy stands up, but it's Nathaniel Black who goes over and grabs Lucius, by the afro!! As Lucius wails in pain trying to get away, Danny Boy is drawn to the other side of the ring where Rico has climbed to the apron. But as Danny Boy grabs him by the hair, he's suddenly STRUCK OVER THE HEAD WITH THE SCEPTER!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! Rico with the scepter! Not like this! Danny Boy hits the mat, lights out. But Landon is still out too. Thinking quickly, Rico sneaks into the ring, dragging the lifeless King over the top of Danny Boy. Rico then goes to help Lucius, able to throw the referee into a position where he can see the pinfall, before helping Lucius in holding Black in place. COLE This is highway robbery! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE The Kingdom has just pulled off the Royal Screwjob! *DINGDINGDING* Only just coming back to any sort of consciousness, Landon is able to lift his head and look around, wondering what just happened as James Blonde drags him to safety. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST WORLD 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... KING LANDON MADDIX... JAMES BLONDE AND FAQU... THE CUCARACHA KKIIIIIIINNGGDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Rico and Lucius manage to get away from Black and help carry the King to safety, with cheers and whoops of celebration. Queen Esther collects the title belts and hands them over, Rico and Lucius doing most of the celebrating for King Landon, who clutches onto his title belt bleary eyed and confused. COACH Huzzah for the King! Huzzah for the Kingdom! What a regal celebration it'll be tonight for the Kingdom in Las Vegas! COLE It'll be a celebration alright... a celebration that they got away with it. King Landon was beaten. He was beaten! He can barely even stand! And yet, thanks to the rest of his lackeys, he scored the pinfall to retain the 6-Man Titles, which I'm sure will please him when he finally remembers what his name is and what year it is. As Landon is carried away by the rest of his Kingdom, Nathaniel Black looks on from the ring seething with rage. Scottish Scott joins him, while checking on Danny Boy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 Backstage Alix and Krista are seen walking down the hallway. Alix is scribbling down something furiously on a notepad. Krista as usual looks disinterested and pretends not to notice. ALIX I’m writing a cross word puzzle for OAOAST Magazine, Krissy! KRISTA OAOAST Magazine? Is that what they call toilet paper these days? ALIX You’re smart, give me some words or I’ll gut you good! What’s one for an activity so heart wrenchingly awful and mentally exhausting it is guaranteed to render your soul working beyond repair. KRISTA Watching HeldDOWN. ALIX The evolutionary clock ticking backwards? KRISTA Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. WALDO (OS) Daaaaaaamn! Craigslist been good to a nigga! LUTHER (OS) We came uuuuuuuuuuuup! Suddenly a roadblock in the form of the Ghetto Groove Monkey’s appears to hinder Alix and Krista’s progression. Normally they might be able to simply slide through the group, but the large stable has a stained, old mattress lying in the middle of the hallway. This highly annoys Krista. KRISTA Uh can we get by? Preferably without initiating conversation and/or eye contact. QUINCY Mmmmm, what have we got here. TONY Hey, Krista, they say if your palm is bigger than your head you have cancer. Krista holds up her palm…and smacks Tony with it. VINNY Served! MARIANO Ya’ll fools don’t know how to step to fine ass bitches like these. You gotta come correct, see. Ya’ll girls lookin’ so fly if you went to a funereal you’d have niggas in the casket busting nuts. QUINCY (massaging Krista’s arm) I know that’s right! KRISTA I guess I’ll be sawing my arm off tonight. ALIX Krissy, be nice. Special Ed children need extra love! I think its great you guys can walk around without supervision and your chinstraps and drool bibs. VINNY Quincy, left his at home. QUINCY Shut up, shorty punk ass! ALIX Hey, dudes, like, what have you got anyway? It looks like a mattress full of semen and pee stains from gay porn shoots. So I guess you got Christian Wright’s old mattress! MARIANO Hell naw! We got this off Craigslist, bucks fifty used! Sheets, pillows, blankets, all that. Don’t mean to brag but… WALDO Craigslist been good to a nigga! ALIX You bought a used mattress? Like, for all eight of you? Elton John in drag looks at that and says “damn, that’s pretty gay.” VINNY Lemme ask you a question. KRISTA Yes, you should all kill yourself in a ritual mass suicide. VINNY Lemme ask you another question! You don’t think that’s…kind of gross do you? KRISTA What could be gross about sleeping on another man’s dried semen? TONY FUCKING SHIT KRISTA! He only busted ten nuts! ALIX Sorry, dude, there’s a five nut maximum FCC regulation. QUINCY I forgot you the Hollywood hoes. We hip hop, hip hop ain’t hip without the hood, smell me. This hood right here, smell me. ALIX How can you say buying a used mattress that Christian Wright doo-dooed on for Theodore Moneymaker’s enjoyment, for all seventy of you is hood? WALDO We trynna keep it on a hip-hop steezy. But, America, don’t want real. America ain’t ready for the hood the way we bring it. QUINCY I smell you. KRISTA Say it with me you spent your collected life savings on a mattress some old guy came on, farted on, and most likely crapped on. VINNY That’s what I said! How do you know he wasn’t having orgies daily? How do you know he wasn’t a gay male pornstar? How do you know if he ate Mexican and forgot to wear his depends? What if? That’s the mattress you nimrods just spent one fifty on! I went from one idiot partner to five more! MARINO Yo, if yall chicks is Hollywood, send shout outs to our man George Jefferson. LUTHER Cuz we moving on uuuuuuuuppp! KRISTA You know what? Take this twenty dollars buy yourselves some Clorox and some Fabreze, and maybe that’ll keep the flesh eating bacteria from consuming you whole for a few weeks. With that Krista and Alix literally leap over the disgusting mattress and continue about their way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 Maggie Nerdly is standing by backstage with Denzel Spencer. MAGGIE Backstage here with the Heartland champion, Denzel Spencer, who has a chance to earn a shot at the World championship tonight by winning the Money in the Bank ladder match! DENZEL Dat's right, Maggie, tonight is a big night for me. Denzel Spencer is riding a big wave of momentum into AngleMania...Heartland champion, made de finals of de King of de Ring, and tonight, Money in da Bank. And just like always, Denzel's a big underdog in dis match! Guys like Alfdogg, Sandman9000, da Puerto Rican, no one expects Denzel t' win, mon. But just like de Butler Bulldogs going to da Final Four...Denzel will prove his doubters wrong, and I will win de Money in da Bank contract tonight! MAGGIE He's very confident, folks, Denzel Spencer, looking for a big win in Money in the Bank! Back to Sofa Central! COLE Denzel's been getting into the culture here, Coach, obviously a big follower of the NCAA tournament! COACH Yeah, but they're ain't gonna be no Shining Moment for him tonight, Cole! He's got no chance in that match! COLE Denzel's heard that one many times before, though, and look where he's at now! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following SIN CITY STREET FIGHT is scheduled for one fall. "Khyber Pass" by Ministry plays the Heavenly Rockers down the multicolored lit stage. BUFFER Introducing first, accompanied by HOLLY… from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SYNTH & LOGAN COLE Not quite the homecoming the Heavenly Rockers were expecting I presume. COACH Damn tourists. Obviously they snatched all the good seats. To add insult to injury, OAOAST officials surround Holly and Quiz. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been informed Holly and Quiz have been EJECTED! However, Colonel Abdullah Nerdly will be allowed to remain ringside since he has a valid managerial license. OAOAST officials escort Quiz and Holly backstage. COACH Somebody get the ACLU on the horn. Peoples rights are being violated! “Shine” by Collective Soul cues. BUFFER And their opponents… total combined weight 485 pounds… 3-time former World tag team champions… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moss walks out solo to everyone’s surprise. COACH I knew it, Cole. Quentin Benjamin tried to come back too soon. COLE I’m afraid you may be right, Coach. It looks like this one’s turned into a handicap match now. As he’s taunted by the Heavenly Rockers, Moss points behind them. Both men turn around… SYNTH & LOGAN …and QUENTIN BENJAMIN (wearing an eye patch) delivers a flawless SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Benjamin whips the Heavenly Rockers into the same corner, monkey flips Logan and then whips Synth towards Moss for an STO BACKBREAKER! COLE Benjamin is here and he’s kicking ass! DOUBLE GOOZLE levels Logan, who’s then placed on the top rope as Moss goes out after Synth. But Benjamin’s plans are interrupted when Colonel Abdullah clubs him weakly. COACH Colonel, run for your life! Benjamin smiles wryly as the Colonel trips on the middle rope trying to escape. Grabbed by the throat he pleads for mercy, to which Benjamin just shakes his head. Abdullah eyes close as Benjamin cocks his fist, but Logan saves the Colonel’s hide courtesy of a TOP ROPE DOUBLE AXEHANDLE SMASH! COACH Praise be! COLE More like lucky S.O.B. if you ask me. Logan rams Benjamin face-first into the steel steps and then peppers him with sharp left jabs. Meanwhile, Synth thumbs Moss in the eye and POSTS him. Back on the other side of the ring, Benjamin displays his freakish athleticism BACKFLIPPING off the guardrail after being whipped in by Logan and executes an EXPLODER SUPLEX! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY SYNTH! Like a shark who smells blood, Synth attempts to remove Benjamin‘s eye patch. COLE Oh, no, they’re going for the eye! Logan joins in and just when it seems the Heavenly Rockers will achieve their objective, Moss comes to his partner’s rescue. A wild brawl ensues on the arena floor with everything from the timekeeper’s table to a fan’s camera being used! COACH It’s like we’re in the middle of a hurricane, Cole. We’ve got stuff flying everywhere. Amazingly, the action spills back inside. Moss rams Logan into the buckle, then delivers a RELEASE OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPERPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO!! Moss is drilled by THE SKYHOOK ELBOW! But rather than go for the pin Synth decides to play air guitar… only for Benjamin to spike him with a TOP ROPE BULLDOG!! The cover. ONE! TWO! But only two as Benjamin rises up to confront the Colonel on the apron. Abdullah ducks a blow and Benjamin gets nailed by a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! COACH Benjamin let his emotions get the best of him there. Having fallen outside, Benjamin is kicked repeatedly by Colonel Abdullah. The Colonel instructs Logan to remove the eye patch, which he successfully does, then removes his BELT and exposes THE POINT OF THE BUCKLE. COLE Street fight or not, this is going too far. The Colonel’s jaw drops just as he’s about to dig in as Moss decks Logan with a baseball slide! Abdullah does his best lawyer’s plea backed against the guardrail, in reality buying time for Synth who sneaks up on Moss… but Moss BACKDROPS HIM INTO THE CROWD! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moss joins Synth among the people as well following a running knee to the back from Logan. The Heavenly Rockers proceed to do a number on Moss until BENJAMIN SOMERSAULTS OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO THEM BELOW!!! “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” With all 4 men down Abdullah places Synth on top of Benjamin. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Colonel takes matters into his own hands using his own BELT to WHIP Benjamin. * WHAP * * WHAP * Suddenly Benjamin grabs the belt and shoots Abdullah a death stare. ABDULLAH BENJAMIN Abdullah runs out the outdoor coliseum with Benjamin in pursuit. COACH I didn’t know Benjamin was a quitter, Cole. The action must’ve gotten too hot for him. COLE You know that isn’t the case. He went after that worm Colonel Abdullah. We catch back up with Abdullah and Benjamin inside THE CASINO portion of Caesars Palace. A knuckle sandwich dazes the Colonel long enough for Benjamin to SLAM HIM THROUGH A BLACKJACK TABLE, then hang on a conveniently placed large ROULETTE WHEEL that Benjamin gives a good SPIN! COACH That’s not how you treat a prophet! Synth blindsides Benjamin, then shoves away an old lady behind a nearby SLOT MACHINE, but Benjamin throws an elbow and bashes Synth into the machine which shoots out a SINGLE COIN. COLE Moss and Logan get back in on the action that triggers a wild brawl at the merchandise stand. COACH The OAOAST thinks of everything, Cole. We’ve even got merchandise stands inside casinos! COLE Just for AngleMania. Logan goes sliding across the table, but recovers to slap Moss with the ultra risqué FOAM DICK (the OAOAST will do anything to make a buck). Meanwhile, Synth is being choked out with a Heavenly Rockers t-shirt! Logan makes the save and the Heavenly Rockers execute a double suplex on Benjamin. Synth then positions Benjamin on a table as Logan delivers a swinging neck breaker on Moss, then climbs on top of the furthest slot machine. COLE Logan’s not gonna do what I think he is, is he? COACH No way. He’ll never make it. Logan picks up a head of steam and DIVES OFF the last slot machine to send Benjamin THROUGH THE MERCHANDISE TABLE courtesy of a DOUBLE KNEEDROP!! COLE Benjamin’s sternum may be cracked. COACH Screw Benjamin. Is Logan okay? Logan pops to his feet and twirls his finger in the air. COACH We know what that means, Cole. COLE Percussion DDT. Just as Logan hooks Benjamin for the DDT, Colonel Abdullah re-enters the picture. COACH The Colonel has broken the shackles that bind him! Praise be! COLE Abdullah must still be woozy from being spun on the roulette wheel. How else can you explain stopping your own team from going for the win? Seeking revenge from earlier, Abdullah orders Logan to hold Benjamin up for another FIREBALL… but Benjamin MOVES and Logan takes the brunt of it! ABDULLAH Benjamin decks Synth and the Colonel as Logan stumbles back into Moss, who performs a GERMAN SUPLEX after a SUPERKICK from Benjamin! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Though the match is over Team Heyross aren’t done yet. Benjamin grabs Abdullah before he can hightail and shoves him to Moss who hoists him onto his shoulders. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Somebody ring the damn bell. The match is over. COLE Ring the bell all you want, Team Heyross wouldn’t be able to hear it anyway. Moss carries Abdullah all the way back to the ring where Team Heyross give him THE SUPER ROCKER DROPPER!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH I guess winning isn’t enough for Team Heyross. They had to tortured poor Abdullah too. COLE Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Right now let’s get the official decision. BUFFER Here are your winners… CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Red, white and blue pyro shoots in the background as Team Heyross pose victorious. THE MOTOR CITY SPECTACULAR APRIL 29, 2010 LIVE & ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE EXCLUSIVELY ON TSM IN THE UNITED STATES... THE PIT IN CANADA Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time to decide the OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION! A buzz starts to sound out through the crowd at the announcement by Buffer, fans beginning to stand from their chairs on all sides of the arena. But this buzz is immediately obliterated as Kanye West’s Diamonds Are Forever captures the Vegas air. Diamonds are forever They won't leave in the night I've no fear that they might Desert me Diamonds are forever (forever, forever) Throw your diamonds in the sky if you feel the vibe Diamonds are forever (forever, forever, forever) The Roc is still alive every time I rhyme. Forever ever? Forever ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever?...... BOOOOOOOOM! Fiery white pyro explodes furiously in front of the twin video towers that display Crystal’s image. Between the smoky haze that fills the Roman style entrance way, Crystal emerges through the opened gates. Her icy blue eyes stare at the booing audience with immense disdain. COLE For the first time in four years Crystal steps into the OAOAST ring and she does it with the promise to retire the Women’s Title should she win it. Morgan is fighting not only for herself but for the entire OAOAST. Wearing black tights with diamonds on the side and a silver tanktop with her name emblazoned across the front, Crystal makes a confident stride down the entrance ramp. The look of disgust for the OAOAST Marks gathered for Anglemania never once leaves her face. BUFFER Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, she weighs in at 150 lbs, the self proclaimed Crown Jewel of the OAOAST, she is a former OAOAST World Champion, she is CRYSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! Crystal dives into the ring as boos trail her arrival. She steps onto the third turnbuckle and takes another fierce glare at an audience that continues to send hatred into the Vegas sky. COACH The lack of respect shown my BABY GURL~! is disgusting as all hell, Mikey. These suckas need to wise up and show love for the girl that paved the way for all the chicks in the OAOAST. The powerfully bombastic symbols of fight their way into the Cesar’s Palace arena The fans murmur with anticipation and glee over the petite danger that’s soon to make a gigantic presence. COLE Its that time! GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Booming bolts of electricity fall onto stage from the overhanging scaffold throwing sparks into the air and sending the roman guards scattering for their lives. The video towers fill with images of flashing electricity as the entrance stage lies carpeted with blue light. The scaffold sends its final bolt of electricity, the most powerful one yet! Ripping her way through the unguarded gates is the lethal champion, earning a large reception from the standing audience. Morgan wears a pinstriped booty shorted romper over her tiny frame. She chews on her blond hair nervously, and watches the crowd with the same frightened look they give her. COLE The Tiny Terror from Edmonton arrives into a second Anglemania! Unlike her first where she was the challenger, Morgan Nerdly arrives a tested challenger. But she faces an OAOAST Legend, and her toughest challenge yet. Crystal the female phenom. Morgan hurriedly moves down the entrance ramp, keeping her eyes on the ground and away from the vile stare of her challenger. BUFFER And the champion….she hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada! Prepare for Shock and Awe from MOOORGAAAAAAAN NEEEEEERRDDDDDDDLY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out. I'm really not so with you anymore. I'm just a ghost, So I can't hurt you anymore, So I can't hurt you anymore. And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go, fuck! So, you can, well now so, you can I'm so far away from you. Well now so, you can. Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the second. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence. COLE An all Canadian matchup here at Anglemania, sponsored by Little Cesar’s Pizza. DING DING DING The contest begins with the upstart champion engaging in a lockup with the OAOAST legend. The battle is furious and spirited, as Crystal’s strength fails her, allowing Morgan to shove her into the ropes. The former world champion immediately demands a clean break, which referee Mike Chioda is quick to give her. Morgan backs away from her foe, nervously locking down her gaze upon the Canadian. Crystal buys herself time, stalking across the ring and looking out at the unreceptive Vegas audience. COLE Crystal taking a major gamble here in the gambling city of the world, trusting that her ring rust won’t complicate her title hunt. Crystal draws Morgan towards her with a lockup. But as Morgan approaches her, Crystal swings behind her to trap her inside a waistlock. Crystal attempts to lift the petite Nerdly girl into a German suplex, but the champion holds her ground. Even more frustrating for Crystal is when Morgan wheels behind her to acquire a waislock over her own. The audience cheers this as Crystal groans in annoyance. She soon groans in pain as Morgan takes her down with an amateur style throw. Morgan then swings to her front, attempting to lock Crystal’s head inside her arms. But this task is a failed one; Crystal grabs hold of Morgan’s arm and traps her inside an armbar. COACH That’s my girl! COLE I thought Lindsay Gonzalez was your girl. COACH They’re all my girls. COLE You wish! Morgan calls upon all her strength to begin pushing Crystal onto her back to create a pinning situation… ONE! TWO! Crystal is forced to kickout, a move that costs her her armbar as well. She scrambles to her feet, but soon finds the bare arms of Morgan circling around her head. Morgan wrenches at Crystal’s neck, but can’t hold her down for very long as she’s shoved to the ropes. However when she returns she’s able to catch Crystal off guard with a diving forearm! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” As that attack treated her so well, Morgan makes another run of the ropes. But on her bounce back her luck fails her with Crystal catching her with a DDT! “BOOOOOOOOO! All of Caesar’s Palace jeers with Crystal dusting her hands off in accomplishment. While the fans continue to deride her, Crystal picks Morgan up and shoots her into the ropes. Morgan’s thrown back and sent hurtling through the Vegas sky with a back body drop over the cables. Thankfully for the champion, she’s able to come down on her platform heels. An annoyed challenger rushes her, but gets a taste of one of those platform boots for her troubles. Morgan then slingshots herself over the top rope and connects with a body press onto her fellow Canadian. COLE Morgan’s showing no fear of Crystal. None whatsoever! Crystal comes to her feet, trying to shake the cobwebs lose and blocking out the Nevada sun with her hands. All this preoccupation leaves her to be struck with ferocious kicks from the champion. Crystal is hobbeled by these devastating strikes and Morgan is easily able to ensnare her in an inverted facelock. She lifts Crystal up for a Curtain Call type move, but finds that the challenger is a hard catch to keep. The former world champion slides herself out and quickly captures Morgan inside a rear waistlock. She shoves Morgan into the ropes expecting to gain an easy roll up. But the champion showcases impressive ring presence by latching onto the cables. This causes a very upset Crystal to roll backwards. When she stands she becomes even more nettled by little Morgan nailing her with a dropkick! COLE Beautiful dropkick from a beautiful champion. Morgan whips her hair away from her baby blue eyes and attempts a pinfall.. ONE! TWO! Crystal makes a timely kickout. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” COACH These idiots lost for thinking a dropkick would put away a former world champion in this day and age. COLE Stranger things have happened, especially in the OAOAST. Morgan brings Crystal towards her feet, merely to snapmare her back to the ground. An elbow almost finds its mark, but Crystal quickly slides out the way. Morgan holds her sore arm close to her stomach as she groans her agony. Unsympathetic to Morgan’s plight, Crystal yanks her upright and attempts an irish whip to the corner. But Morgan expertly reverses the hold, and its Crystal who crashes into the cold steel of the ring posts. Adding further problems for Crystal is Morgan smashing against her face with a body splash! COLE The OAOAST Galaxy watching on as these two beautiful and deadly combatants lock horns for the OAOAST Women’s Title. COACH It’s only a matter of time before MAH GURL~! Crystal kicks it into overdrive and overpowers Morgan. Morgan grabs onto Crystal’s arm and throws her into the opposite corner. After tossing her hair out her eyes, Morgan makes another dash to Crystal. But this time she’s caught by an elbow from the ultra talented challenger. Morgan stumbles backwards, her hands finding her sore jaw. She’s then knocked to the ground courtesy of a running lariat from Crystal. As Morgan huddles up in pain and fear, Crystal stands above her dusting her hands off. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Morgan finds her way back upright with relative quickness. Unfortunately all this does is allow her to be easily trapped inside a front facelock. Crystal then whips her backwards with a vertical suplex and floats over into a pinfall… ONE TWO! Morgan makes a last second kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Frustrated with the kickout, Crystal hastily takes herself to the ropes. She returns wielding an elbow smash, but Morgan succeeds in gobbling her up into a small package. Chioda hits the mat to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Crystal rolls herself out the pin , causing the Nevada fans to strike her with jeers. Ignoring their hatred and cruel words, the former women’s champion slides herself beneath the ropes to the apron. Although slightly nervous, Morgan still follows her to the edge of the ring. She clamps down on her opponent in a front facelock and brings her to her feet to attempt a suplex. But the strength of Crystal wins out and she’s able to suplex Morgan to the outside! Morgan’s tiny body crashes in a broken heap on the blue Anglemania logo canvas, causing the front row fans to shriek in worry. COLE Oh my! COACH Oh yes! My baby is coming home with the gold. Morgan holds her knee and cries and pain, as Crystal leans over the ropes and yells at her to return to the ring. COLE Crystal’s a veteran she knows she can’t win the title by countout. Realizing that Morgan isn’t moving any faster, Crystal departs the ring to fetch her. Grabbing onto a pin stripped booty shorted romper Crystal lifts her up and throws her into the ring. She follows her inside and then drops a knee on the exposed part of Morgan’s stomach. A pinfall then follows…. ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE Only two, but oh my, what a close two it was. Crystal and Morgan roll upright with Crystal taking shots at Morgan’s bare stomach. But the champion returns fire with painful intent, doubling Crystal over with elbow strikes. This allows Morgan to take Crystal into a standing head scissors. She then proceeds to wow the Anglemania audience with a deadly sitout powerbomb! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Big move from a little girl! Chioda counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Crystal lifts her shoulder off the mats to keep her title hopes alive. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” the fans tell the official. Morgan grabs onto Crystal’s short and curled hair and begins yanking her off the canvas. But she’s countered with a jawbreaker! Several kicks strike Morgan’s exposed chest and leave her wobbly and struggling to remain upright. The pressure is kept on the champion as Crystal throws her into the corner. The challenger then shoots in with a running lariat! But Morgan slides out the way, leaving Crystal to crash into the posts. The challenger stumbles backwards and finds herself thrown to the canvas by a running knee from the champion! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer in delight as Morgan seems a little exhausted from Crystal’s earlier assault. Despite being the one attacked, Crystal is fast to her feet. She attacks Morgan with a bombardment of jabs before hooking her into a front facelock. She then signals for the end, which earns boos from the jam packed venue. But thankfully for them and Morgan, the petite Nerdly is able to stave off defeat with a release Northern Lights suplex! COLE I don’t think Crystal expected this tough a battle here in Vegas. COACH Its only a matter of time before her experience wins out over Morgan’s youth and fear. Coach may yet be proven correct as a running Morgan is upended over the cables by a back body drop from Crystal. “OOOOOOOOOH!” the fans recoil as Morgan is forced into a brutally agonizing landing on the outside mats. Morgan rolls into the guardrail, grabbing onto it in an effort to try and cope with the pain that shoots through her knee. COLE It looks like Morgan’s knee has again taken the brunt of the landing. Morgan tries to slowly climb back into the ring, but she’s struck back down by a right cross from her opponent. Morgan lands on her feet, but is hobbled by her aching knee. This permits Crystal with a chance to attack. And she capitalizes on it by leaping over the ropes and nailing Morgan with a body splash! COLE What a move by Crystal! The front row fans give Crystal a hearty thumbs down as she admires her handiwork. She then plants her black boots into Morgan’s leg, furthering the spread of pain through her leg. COLE That backbody drop took the wind out of Morgan and severely hurt her knee. I think the tide of this match may have changed and its possible Crystal may be retiring with that Women’s Title belt, sorry to say. Crystal gets the audience buzzing in anticipation as she climbs onto the third turnbuckle. She points to Morgan and makes a throat slashing gesture that gains boos from the fans. COLE I think a gesture like that should be an automatic fine. It has no place in the OAOAST. COACH You softer than burger buns, b. Crystal takes so long to execute any type of offensive attack that Morgan, weak knee and all, is able to make a slow rise onto the turnbuckles. This does not help her very much, however. Crystal greets her arrival with an anger driven round of elbows to the back of Morgan’s head. The champion whimpers as her head is violently snapped back and forth and a headache quickly settles in. COLE Crystal is just demolishing poor Morgan atop that turnbuckle. COACH That’s world champ know how, Mikey, shown by my baby girl. Crystal eventually hits Morgan with enough force to send her tumbling away. The injured champion lands stomach first across the top cable, bringing a smile to Crystal’s face. This smile widens as she leaps off the turnbuckle and smashes Morgan’s head with a guillotine leg drop! Morgan falls over to the canvas, wrecked by the pain Crystal has inflicted upon her. COLE A full extension by Crystal just drives that leg into Morgan’s head. Crystal pulls Morgan to the center of the ring and jack knives her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THR-NO MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE That was close! We were just a second away from seeing a new and possibly final OAOAST Women’s champion. Crystal rakes Morgan off the canvas and proceeds to pepper her with left jabs. But Morgan shows great fighting sprit and comes back with jabs of her own! Crystal then takes a swing with a haymaker but eats a spinning back first before she can connect with the attack. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing as Morgan limps to the corner. Fighting through the pain in her knee, the teenage champ begins working her way to the top rope. COACH I’m not sure this is a good idea for Morgan. COLE She’s taking a major risk. Morgan nervously chews on her hair as she settles herself atop the turnbuckles. Finally she flies forward with a body splash! But the former world champion slides out the way and Morgan lands with thudding splat onto the Anglemania logo canvas. “OOOOOOOOOOH!” the fans are none to happy to over Morgan’s catastrophic miss. As Morgan howls in agony, Crystal takes a moment to recollect her thoughts and breath. Leaving behind her suffering opponent to be attended to by Chioda, Crystal begins her own trek to the top rope. She makes another crowd angering throat slash gesture as a crippled Morgan makes her way to her feet. Crystal then flies forward with a body press that shoves Morgan to the ground! COLE A pinfall! ONE! TWO! Morgan pops out the pinall, bringing joy to all of Las Vegas! COLE I thought that might have been it. Crystal was so close to becoming an OAOAST champion once again. Crystal gets to her feet and takes a run to the ropes. Morgan begins standing upright, but this is a poor idea as Crystal shoots her body low to smack Morgan’s weak knee with a shoulder tackle. Crystal then slides on top of Morgan for a crucial pinfalll…. ONE! COACH New champ! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulders off the canvas, earning a great response from the audience. The frustration level grows for Crystal, and she angrily berates the referee for a perceived slow count. This allows Morgan to sneak behind her, hook onto her legs and school girl her to the ground… ONE! TWO! Crystal sldies out the pinfall, and continues her argument with Chioda. This time Morgan isn’t so kind in her offensive attacks. She grabs onto Crystal’s head and then rushes forward to drive her skull into the canvas with a bulldog! She looks painfully at the referee, almost as if she were asking if that was an ok move to execute. Receiving no rebuke, she decides to take a risk and begins a slow climb to the top rope. There she glances fearfully at the world around her. This moment of trepidation proves costly as Crystal pushes the ropes, causing Morgan to impale herself on the top turnbuckle. This leads a gloating Crystal to step up towards Morgan. She gives the champion an insulting slap in the face before throwing her backwards with a deadly belly to belly suplex! COLE Oh my! VINTAGE Crystal! Assuming that she has an easy three count, Crystal rolls Morgan onto her back for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THRE----MORGAN WITH ANOTHER KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Crystal stares down the referee with an exasperated expression Crystal picks Morgan up and shoots her into a corner. Upon hitting the posts with tremendous force, Morgan staggers out towards the center of the ring. There Crystal grabs her neck and swings her around with a brutal necbreaker! Crystal then hooks both of Morgan’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Crystal pounds the mat in rage. Grumbling to herself over her failed pinfall, she elevates to the top rope. “UP!” she screams at Morgan, and the littlest Nerdly girl does just that. With Morgan fully upright Crystal dives forward with a body press! But Morgan catches Crystal within her arms! With her weakened legs about to give out from under her, Morgan quickly shifts Crystal onto her shoulders. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans are well aware of what’s forthcoming. Morgan throws Crystal to her side and connects with the Shock & Awe (F-U)! COLE She nailed it! She nailed it! An exhausted Morgan makes a pinfall attempt… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! Yes! DING DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and still OAOAST Women’s Champion….MORGAN NERDLY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan falls to the canvas, barely able to believe she’s made a successful title defense. For one rare moment in time a smile as bright as any sunrise appears on the relieved champion’s cute face. She giggles to herself, assured that the worst threat she’s ever faced has been vaniqushed. NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH COLE What is this?! Receiving heat that burns as hot as the Vegas sun, HOLLY and Josie Baker appear on stage. JOSIE Congratulations, Morgan Nerdly! You have once again won at Anglemania, and you’ve successfully retained your Women’s Title. But. COLE But? JOSIE But the OAOAST is all about unpredictability, aren’t we? And what’s more unpredictable than announcing Holly as the number one contender for the OAOAST Women’s Title? COLE Holly now set to meet Morgan perhaps this week on HeldDOWN or at the Motor City Spectacular. JOSIE I’ll tell you what’s more unpredictable than that! Her facing Morgan Nerdly right now for the OAOAST Women’s title! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JOSIE Holly, I believe you have a title match to get to. HOLLY (Beep)in gladly. As the audience finds their loudest jeers of this contest, a smirking Holly finds her way to ringside. COLE This isn’t right. This isn’t right! Morgan is helped to her feet by the referee, but she can hardly stand. She leans against the ring posts, heavy hearted and bone weary. Holly hasn’t much sympathy for Morgan as she impatiently bounces on her army boots and demands the contest to begin. DING DING DING Holly rushes across the ring and fires off right hands against Morgan’s face. The champion can do little to defend herself, and clumsily topples over to the canvas. Holly sees this as her opportunity to strike gold, and eagerly makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan fires her shoulder off the canvas, bringing relief to the hearts of the audience. COLE I can’t get over how unfair this is. Morgan is being screwed, and you know it, Coach. COACH Its unpredictable, baby, that’s what the OAOAST is all about! Furious over Morgan’s kickout, Holly uses her army boots to powerfully batter the younger champion. She targets Morgan’s head, leaving the young girl whimpering in anguish. Holly assumes that Morgan’s championship reign as at an end, and pulls her to her feet to bring upon its demise. She tightens her into a front facelock, grabs onto her left leg, and then swings her around for The Mirage! COLE Wrong hotel, right move as Holly goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE-MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Holly holds up her two fingers, staring at them as she can hardly fathom how Morgan made her narrow escape. COACH You want to talk about something not being right, that’s not right that had to be three! Holly firmly agrees with Coach and expresses her disturbance in the most profane way she can imagine. HOLLY You mother(beep) (beep)sucking (beep) ass bastard! You (beep) better learn how to count to (beep) three you ignorant mother(beep) shithead! COLE Oh my! Holly rips Morgan off the canvas, and captures her inside another front facelock. HOLLY Vegas! Its (beep)ing over! With that announcement, Holly swings Morgan around and connects with a second Mirage! The referee falls into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE My god no! Holly leaps to her feet and throws her fist through the air in triumph, as Another Body Murdered cues up over sound system. BUFFER Your winner and new OAOAST Women’s Champion…..HOLLLYYYYYYYY! COLE My god what has happened here tonight?! Holly grabs the belt out the referee’s hand and kicks him to the ground. She then falls to her knees and raises the title into the air, as Josie applauds with firm satisfaction on the entrance stage. COLE Let’s throw it up to our special guest interviewer Ryan Seacrest. RYAN SEACREST stands on the entrance stage with a still applauding Josie. RYAN Josie, you look fabulous tonight. JOSIE That means a lot thank you. RYAN What motivated this decision to give Holly and immediate title shot? JOSIE I’m unpredictable, Ryan, just the same way the OAOAST is. Sometimes you have to shake up the status quo. I suppose that’s what I did. RYAN It had nothing to do with your personal grudge with Morgan? JOSIE It had everything to do with my grudge against Morgan. And I do mean everything. RYAN But is it fair? JOSIE Of course not! But life isn’t fair, and Morgan of all people knows that very well. Now, just enjoy the rest of the show, Ryan. You’re our guest, have a good time! RYAN I most certainly will! Michael, its all your’s. COLE Damn I wish I was his lover. COACH COLE Folks, its been a great Anglemania so far but right now lets send it back to special guest interviewer…HEIDI MONTAG! We throw it backstage where Celeberity Guest Interviewer Heidi Montag stands with Vinny Valentine of the Ghetto Groove Monkeys. HEIDI Hello, everybody I’m Heidi Montag and I am currently standing beside Vinny Valentine better known as the Disco Duck. I’d like to ask you how you feel about your match with Biff Atlas? VINNY Pow-pow-pow, go Vinny go-go-go! Backstage with a mama as fine as yourself and I ain’t even thinking of Biff Atlas. See, he’s a square, a chump, and a dweeb all rolled into one. He’s the Ultimate Square, the square all other squares aspire to be like! Vinny on the other hand is one cool hepcat. So what do how I feel about Biff? I feel he better run and hide under Melody’s daisy dukes, because I’m gonna whup his BUTT big time! HEIDI But he is your best friend. VINNY Is? He was my best friend. Vinny Valentine ain’t no friend to squares like that. He can take a hike to squaresville and cram his superhero junk with a sock. I put up with his crazy talk for a whole year. I’m mad as all heck about it, and I’m gonna do something pretty violent about it tonight at Anglemania, baby! HEIDI Okay, well back to you gentlemen at ringside! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 The cameras pan around ringside and towards the aisleway, where a seemingly endless row of ladders have been placed. *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest is the MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. "I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone." The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. "White America/ I could be one of your kids." The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. "Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race." The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER Introducing the participants! First, from South of Heaven... representing The Deadly Alliance... SSAAAAAAAAAANNDDMMMAAAAAANNN NNIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE TTHHHOOOOUUUUSSSAAAAAAANNDD!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down plays and with a big smile on his face and a wave to the crowd, Tim Cash heads to the ring. He makes sure to shake some of the hands stretched out down the aisle, while weaving past the awkwardly placed ladders. BUFFER From Peoria, Illinois... he is wrestling's last true good guy, one half of the Citizen Soldiers... TTIIIIIIIIIMMMMM... CCAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" As Tim enters the ring, yellow smoke billows out from behind the purple curtains. "God Of Thunder" pumps through the Las Vegas air and Thunderkid emerges from the smoke. BUFFER Hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, a member of The Deadly Alliance... TTHHHUUUUUUNNDDEEERRRRRRKKIIIIIIIIIIIIDD!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Two Deadly Alliance representative in this year's Money In The Bank match, you have to wonder if they'll work together in this one. And if so, for how long. Thunderkid rolls into the ring and Cash suddenly finds himself out-numbered in the ring. The smiling Deadly Alliance duo make a move towards Cash, despite the two referees in the ring keeping them back. It seems to be mostly intimidation. Which doesn't last long as Fallout Boy's "Thriller" cues up next. An orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the overhead scoreboard. It lands somewhere behind the entrance, hopefully as intended. Baron Windels walks out and throws up the longhorns as he heads out. BUFFER From San Antonio, Texas... one half of Citizen Soldiers, BBAAAAARRRROOOOOOOONN... WWWIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEEEELLLLLSSSSSSSSS!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Things are evened up in the ring and suddenly TK and Sandman are happy to wait for the match to begin, rather than poke the Soldiers with a metaphorical stick. Meanwhile, "Master Blaster (Jammin')" by Stevie Wonder brings out Denzel Spencer to another loud reaction. BUFFER From Montego Bay, Jamaica! The reigning OAOAST Heartland Champion... DDEEEEEENNZZZZZEEEEELLLLLL... SSSSPPEEEEEENNCCCCCEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A young man just waiting for that one big victory to really break out. Denzel got cheated out of the King Of The Ring crown, but the Money In The Bank briefcase would be a fine consolation prize. As Denzel enters, "Magnum Opus" hits and the crowd rise to their feet! COLE What an ovation here! BUFFER Hailing from Anderson, Indiana... AAAAALLLLLFFFFFFFFFF - DDOOOOOOOOOOGGGG!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The three-time World Champion strolls coolly to the ring, with a slight grin on his face as he passes a ladder. Alf eyes up his old Deadly Alliance enemies as he climbs to the apron, posing on one knee from the apron rather than the crowded ring. COLE Alf, got to be considered one of the favourites. COACH Eh. COLE Eh!? What do you mean Eh!? Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long COACH HERE comes the favourite! Through the thick fog around the entrance emerges Christian Wright. The God Child raises his arms, unleashing a bevy of green pyro up into the Las Vegas sky. BUFFER Now residing in Washington D.C... he represents The Enterprise... "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHHHRRRRRIIIIISSSSSTTIIIIIAAAAAANN... WWWRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH The undefeatable Christian Wright! The odds-on favourite! I mean, come on, the guy carries a briefcase everywhere he goes! It stands to reason he'd be the favourite to grab another one, right? COLE Pretty sure that's not how it works. Unless he stores his briefcase from his ceiling at home. Christian saunters down to the ring with his typical arrogance, looking up at the briefcase hanging above the ring. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. BUFFER And finally! From San Juan, Puerto Rico... "THE LATIN LION"... TTTTHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA PPPUUUUUEEEEERRRRTTOOOOOOOOOOO... RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" PRL power walks down the aisle past the ladders, stopping to smell the electricity in the Las Vegas air. All seven men in the ring watch as PRL makes his way to the ring and showing no fear, The Latin Lion climbs to the apron and then the middle turnbuckle, raising a fist in the air to the crowd. COLE One of two former World Champions in this line-up. Tha Puerto Rican would love to climb back to the top of the mountain again. Climbing over the top PRL jumps into the ring, finding himself somewhat surrounded. COACH Yeah, but you've got seven other people ready to push him right off the edge of that mountain. COLE A lot of history between these eight men, a lot of interesting subplots. But it's all about the briefcase, all about that shot at the OAOAST World Title, guaranteed for a whole year, to be cashed in at any time. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds and for a moment, all eight men stand steady. Eyes gaze from each other to the briefcase hanging from the structure over their heads. A split crowd shouts their encouragement for various competitors as they stand off. COLE Who's going to make the first move here? As the stand-off continues, suddenly Sandman 9000 makes a break forward and delivers a boot to Baron Windels. And the fight is on! COACH Woah, here we go! COLE This will be chaotic for sure, eight men and just as many ladders to use as weapons. Risks will be taken tonight and bodies punished along the way. The Deadly Alliance and Citizen Soldiers quickly get into it and spill to the outside, while PRL, Denzel and Alfdogg go at it. All of which leaving Christian Wright in the clear. Thinking quickly, The God Child nips out of the ring and jogs to grab one of the ladders from the aisle. Wright hurriedly folds it up and slides it into the ring, looking to sneak in the back door! However, as he slides in after the ladder, his foot is grabbed by Alfdogg. Alf pulls CW outside... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and dishes out a knifedge chop, before sliding in and going for the quick win himself! COLE Look at this, Alfdogg going for the briefcase early on here! Alf gets the ladder set up and quickly begins to climb but only makes it a couple of rungs up before Wright is back in the ring pulling him down to the mat. Alf and CW trade right hands, with the other six men doing battle on the arena floor as well. Getting the better of the battle in the ring, Alfdogg boots Wright in the gut, then throws him face-first into the ladder. COLE Action all over the place here, The Deadly Alliance and Citizen Soldiers still going at it to our right. Christian stumbles into a corner and Alf is right on him, stomping him against the turnbuckles. Behind him PRL sneaks inside, grabbing the ladder. He folds it up and waits for Alf to turn around, before hurling it at him! The ladder hits Alf in the face and he falls back into Wright, leaving both of them trapped in the corner behind the ladder. PRL gets a smirk on his face as an idea pops into his head. Backing to the opposite corner of the ring he gets a run-up and leaps forward with a Stinger Spla... ...NO! Both Alfdogg and Wright manage to escape from behind the ladder. However, PRL manages to land safely on the propped ladder. And after taking one extra rung he launches himself off the ladder, over the top, knocking Denzel down on the arena floor!! COLE A little improvisation from Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Like the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, throw yourself off a ladder. Inside, Alf and CW go right back at it. This time it's Wright who gets the better of it and cutting Alf off, he goes to whip him into the ladder still set up in the corner. Alfdogg puts on the brakes though. Booting Alf in the gut, Wright delivers a couple more right hands, then tries a different tactic, setting up for a suplex towards the ladder. Alf manages to block that. And a second time, before lifting Wright up for his own suplex. Wright floats over and lands on his feet behind Alfdogg, but makes the mistake of charging in and takes a FLAPJACK INTO THE LADDER!! COACH OH! COLE The God Child goes face-first! With CW down, Alfdogg grabs the ladder out of the corner and sets it up. COLE Here we go again! Alfdogg is wasting no time here going after this briefcase. But it may be too early, because here comes PRL. Tha Puerto Rican gives Alf a shot in the back to stop his climb. And another one. Grabbing the foot, PRL then tries to throw Alfdogg down to the mat. But Alf lands on his feet... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and punishes PRL with a chop to the chest. PRL cringes, but manages to shake it off... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Alfdogg back! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Alf with a chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And PRL with a chop! As the two former World Champions go back and forth, suddenly, they're sent ducking for cover, as Denzel Spencer appears on the apron and springboards... OVER THEIR HEADS, LANDING ON THE LADDER!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Denzel! Denzel's on his way, amazing! Denzel starts scaling the ladder as quickly as possible, not quite quickly enough as PRL and Alf get over their surprise and regroup to grab onto an ankle a-piece, stopping Denzel halfway up! COLE The element of surprise almost taking Denzel Spencer to the mountain top, but a recovery from Alfdogg and PRL! The Heartland Champion struggles and is able to kick Alfdogg away. However PRL tugs on the other foot and Denzel is brought crashing to the mat. PRL quickly folds the ladder up, looking to use it as a weapon. And does so, jabbing the top into the gut of Alfdogg! As Alf goes down PRL takes aim, waiting for Spencer to get up with a smile on his face. Denzel ducks underneath the on-coming ladder though and as PRL turns around, dropkicks the ladder back into his body!! COACH Now that's what I like to see. PRL, looking like a chump. He's not the champ, he's the chump! As this action goes on inside, outside the ring The Deadly Alliance have dealt with Citizen Soldiers and have retrieved a second ladder. Sharing the workload they carry it back to ringside, ready to enter the fray. Alfdogg has other ideas though and kicks through the ropes, knocking them backwards. Hitting the ropes, Denzel then gives Alf a shout, calling for a backdrop, sending him over the top AND LANDING ON THE LADDER, CRUSHING THUNDERKID AND SANDMAN UNDERNEATH!!!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH, Denzel Spencer, sacrificing himself to wipe out the Deadly Alliance! COACH No, Alfdogg sacrificed him! Alf doesn't hang around and sets the ladder in the ring up again. COLE And now Alfdogg, again, going for the briefcase. One man has all the impetus so far and it's the former World Champion! As Alfdogg climbs, it's Tim Cash who slides back inside though. Alf is stopped for a second, but kicks Cash off, looking more annoyed than anything as he tries yet again. However Alf is to be stopped again, this time by Baron Windels, who reaches up and POWERBOMBS ALF OFF THE LADDER!!! COACH That oughta put a stop to Alf's climbing for a while. Alf rolls outside and it's Citizen Soldiers in command all of a sudden. Taking one end of the ladder each, they wait for Christian Wright to come their way and NAIL him with the ladder! PRL walks over and gets NAILED as well! Spotting something out of the corners of their eyes, Baron and Cash then turn to find Denzel Spencer back up, on the top rope and soaring... ...SO THEY THROW THE LADDER AT HIM AND SHOOT HIM OUT OF THE SKIES!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE One risk too many from Denzel, the Citizen Soldiers were ready for it! Ever the nice guy Tim looks concerned for the well-being of the Jamaican, but Baron is more concerned about getting the briefcase. He sets the ladder up and begins to climb, soon joined on the other side by his tag team partner. COACH Oh yeah, great idea, go up together. One problem. How are these two idiots going to decide who gets the briefcase? "After you." "No, after you." COLE What if they bring it down together? COACH I'd call bullshit. Halfway up the ladder the tag team partners realise that the other is opposite them and stop. After a few seconds they reach through the ladder and shake hands, agreeing to a fair race to the top! A race which Tim Cash seems to be just edging, until the fair face turns foul, Thunderkid rolling back inside and shoving the ladder, BRINGING DOWN CASH AND BARON THROAT-FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Thunderkid nurses his ribs as he picks up the ladder, then just throws it callously on top of Baron. He waves to Sandman9000, who finally brings the second ladder safely inside. COACH Things just got a little more Deadly! As TK stomps away, Sandman sets up a contraption with the ladders. Opening one up on the mat, he and Thunderkid place Baron inside. They then lay another ladder on top at 90 degrees, with Tim Cash trapped inside. COLE What in the hell are they thinking? With Citizen Soldiers stacked up in this weird ladder sandwich, Thunderkid keeps them trapped in place, as Sandman goes outside and starts climbing to the top rope. COLE You've gotta be kidding me! COACH He's nuts, Cole! He's nuts and we all know it! The crowd murmur with worry as Sandman reaches the top. He slowly runs his thumb across his throat, TK willing him on, as he steadies himself... ...AND THROWS HIMSELF ONTO THE PILE OF LADDERS AND BODIES WITH A SENTON BOMB!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" COLE SENTON OFF THE TOP, WITH BARON AND CASH SOMEWHERE TANGLED UP IN ALL THAT METAL!!!!!! Sandman rolls off of the ladders, literally writhing in pain with at least one of the ladders buckled and twisted on impact! COACH The guy isn't all there. Why would you do that to yourself?! COLE Well, Sandman9000 may have just taken out two of the opposition, but... he's taken himself out as well. And that's going to leave Thunderkid, having just watched his tag partner damn near break his back, free to go after the briefcase! Seperating body from ladder, Thunderkid gets the bottom ladder which Baron was trapped between and sets it up, with the other ladder unclimbable. Leaving Sandman to writhe he heads for the top, briefcase in sight. COACH Climb man, climb! Thunderkid keeps on climbing and gets within touching distance, when suddenly he's clubbed in the back by PRL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican back in and he's brought another ladder with him! Having stopped TK's progress, PRL sets up his ladder, next to Thunderkid's. Joining TK up in the higher altitudes PRL scales his ladder, giving him a couple more shots to the back. TK lands an elbow though and then starts to go for the case, causing Tha Puerto Rican to wake up and land a quick bodyshot to cut him off. PRL then reaches across the ladders and hooks Thunderkid up, for a DIAMOND CUTTER, ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE MAT BELOW!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE LIGHTNING STRIKE OFF THE LADDER!!!!! Both men suffer the effects and suddenly things open up, for Alfdogg, again! COLE Could this be the time, for Alfdogg!? Alf scales the ladder but someone else has the same idea. Christian Wright, catching him up on the other ladder. Before Alf can get near the briefcase he's caught in the small of the back with a shot. And another one. Up a couple more rungs, Wright then hooks Alf from behind and hits an INVERTED DDT OFF THE LADDER!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE NO, it is not! COACH Dayyum! Bodies lay everywhere, except for Sandman9000. However, Sandman isn't after the briefcase yet. Instead he hobbles back down the aisle with ANOTHER ladder. Shooing fans out of the way, he sets it bridged across the ring apron and the guardrail, before heading back into the ring. COLE I'm not sure what Sandman is thinking here, but he ought to be going for the briefcase! Shoving the two ladders down Sandman remains in clear pain, but manages to recover as Denzel Spencer approaches, booting him in the gut. Sandman dishes out some forearms before picking up one of the ladder, only for Denzel to cut him off in kind. COACH Heartland Champion and the best Heartland Champion in history. I don't like where this is going for one of these dudes. Laying the ladder down, Denzel hops over and goes for a suplex. Blocked by Sandman though, who counters with a GORDBUSTER ON THE LADDER!! COLE Uggh, Denzel ribs first! With Denzel laid over the one ladder, Sandman grabs the other, placing it over the back of Denzel's head and hitting a LEGDROP on it!! Which leaves Sandman holding his tailbone while Denzel grabs his head. COLE Sandman9000, and this isn't exactly breaking news here, is crazy! COACH Crazy like a fox. Sandman limps back up again and looks over at the ladder bridge he's made, getting a smirk on his face. Shoving away ladders he picks Denzel up, dragging him over to the ropes. But the Jamaican fights back. Hitting shots to the gut, he backs Sandman up to the ladder on the mat. Grabbing him by the hair Denzel then rams Sandman's head down into the ladder! And again! And a third time! Sandman is dazed, so Denzel finishes him off, with the SCISSORS KICK OVER THE LADDER!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Sandman, eating some ladder! Away rolls Sandman and Denzel sees his chance, preparing to make a climb. COLE And here we go, Denzel! Come on Denzel, now's your opportunity! Denzel makes his way up the ladder as the Las Vegas crowd get to their feet. However Christian Wright is up. And recovering the one mangled ladder, he puts it to the only use possible - flinging it at Denzel to knock him off the ladder!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" With Denzel down, Christian dusts his hands and starts to make the long climb to the top himself! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Yes! What did I tell you Michael? The odds-on favourite, the undefeated marvel! The God Child! As Wright makes his way up though, Tim Cash re-appears and makes his way up the other side! COLE Tim is up! Come on Tim! Cash doesn't make it very far though, as PRL grabs him, dragging him off the ladder and hitting the LATIN SLAM!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Rolling Cash aside, PRL looks up at Wright and makes a last ditch effort to catch him. COACH Aw crap... COLE The race is on! Tha Puerto Rican and The God Child, who's going to get there first? COACH Not PRL, please! Reaching the top, Wright and PRL come face to face and start trading shots at the top of the ladder! Wright lands one good one and sees his chance, going for the briefcase. But PRL punches him in the gut and stops him! PRL is suddenly within touching distance and he takes one more rung up, reaching out and brushing the briefcase with his fingertips... ...just as the ladder starts to tip... COLE LOOK OUT, LOOK OUT! ...AND FALL, AT THE HANDS OF BARON WINDELS, SHOVING THE LADDER AND SENDING WRIGHT GUT-FIRST OVER THE TOP, WHILE THA PUERTO RICAN LANDS CROTCHED ON THE TOP BESIDE HIM!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" COLE PRL AND CHRISTIAN WRIGHT, CRASH AND BURN!!!! Both PRL and Wright end up in a heap on the arena floor, referees rushing over to check they're okay. COACH Is Christian okay? COLE Why dont you go and check?? In the ring, Baron struggles to his feet, ladder now in his hands. Two more hands grab the ladder though, those of Thunderkid, stopping Baron in his tracks. A brief struggle over the ladder ends with TK being SLAMMED in the face with it, sent rolling outside. Before Baron can set up again though, Sandman9000 grabs the ladder and runs him back into the turnbuckles, sandwiched behind the ladder. Sandman staggers away and gets spun around by Denzel, who gives him a right hand. And another one. Denzel then takes a step back, going for a superkick. But Sandman ducks and knees Denzel hard, then picks him up in a fireman's carry. COLE Uh-oh. Sandman's got Denzel up... and he's got something bad in mind! Carrying Denzel across the ring Sandman is clearly heading for the ladder bridge he made earlier, trying to get through the ropes with Denzel on his back. When that doesn't work Sandman settles for going OVER the ropes instead as he starts climbing up with Denzel still carried. COLE Oh god, look out here. COACH This is dangerous territory... I told ya! Sandman manages to get to the middle rope and tries to manouever and turn towards the ladder, to screams from the crowd. COLE He's not going for the Psycho Driver, is he!? A Psycho Driver through the ladder!? He can't do this! COACH Oh no? Just watch him! Luckily, Denzel starts to fight back though! Elbows connects until Denzel manages to slip free of Sandman's clutches and he lands safely on the ring apron. Sandman is left sat on the top turnbuckle outside and is nailed with a right hand by Denzel. And another. And another! Glancing over his shoulder, Denzel looks at the ladder behind him, wondering what to do. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Don't do it Denzel! The cheers of the crowd drown out the warning of the announcer though and Denzel reaches up, pulling Sandman off the turnbuckles, upside down... ...turning around... *KE - RAAAAAAAAACK!!!!* ...AND DRIVING SANDMAN WITH THE CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR, OFF THE APRON, RIGHT THROUGH THE LADDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" COACH AAAAAHHHHHHH!! COLE YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The referees are forced to rush over again as Denzel and Sandman9000 lay motionless on the arena floor. COACH They're BOTH fucking crazy! As the fans go nuts, attention is slowly returned to the ring, where Alfdogg and Baron Windels have set up the ladder and are on their way towards the briefcase. COLE It's a straight race now! Baron and Alfdogg, both within feet of that precious contract! As they get to the top it's right hand city, Baron and Alf trading shots. Baron unloads with his big, Texas-sized right hands. Realising he's overpowered, Alfdogg dances with what brung him, lashing Baron with a knifedge chop instead. It's Texas-right to knifedge chop, until finally one chop leaves Baron winded and Alf is almost there... ...but Baron throws a desperation headbutt!! COLE Oh! They BUTT heads and they both go down! COACH Almost down! The headbutt dazed both men and they wind up two rungs lower down than they were, able to stop themselves from falling all the way down. Small consolation for Alfdogg though as Tim Cash recovers and comes to his tag team partner's aid, lifting Alfdogg off the ladder in an electric chair and throwing him face-first into the turnbuckle!! COLE Alf is down! And Baron is in the clear here! COACH Don't just stand there moron, stop him! Cash turns around to see Baron still shaken up on the ladder and stops in his tracks. Left with two choices, Cash decides not to turn his back on his partner and instead shouts words of encouragement to The Lone Star Gunslinger while keeping guard at the bottom! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH What are you DOING!? COLE Tim Cash, a tactical manouever from the Citizen Soldiers, the prize is in sight and all Baron has to do is unhook it now! COACH What a moron! As Baron starts to climb though, suddenly there's a commotion, as a hooded figure hops the rail! And with Cash busy keeping an eye out for the other 6 competitors, he isn't expecting a seventh to slide in from behind, his hood falling down, to reveal LEON RODEZ!!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE WHAT!? Cash turns around and gets blasted with a SUPERKICK, as howls of derision fill the Las Vegas night. The howls then get even louder as with Baron's finger clasped around the briefcase, his attempts to undo the hook are thwarted by Leon grabbing a ladder and JABBING BARON IN THE GUT, causing him to fall to the mat, where he's SMASHED IN THE FACE WITH THE LADDER FOR GOOD MEASURE!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE I thought Leon Rodez had walked out!? I thought he was gone, he was on strike, what in the HELL is this about!? COACH I don't know but I think I like it! Throwing down the ladder Leon looks around, frantic. All eight men are down and with the coast clear, HE SCAMPERS UP THE LADDER! COLE Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE! NO! Boos ring out as the referees just look on helpless, with the completely unharmed and fresh Leon Rodez scaling up the ladder and grabbing the briefcase. COLE HE'S NOT EVEN IN THE MATCH! Leon holds the briefcase in place, hands shaking as he opens up the hook... AND BRINGS THE BRIEFCASE DOWN!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" COACH I... has he won!? COLE This can't be happening! Leon Rodez isn't even in the match... COACH But he's got the briefcase! Unable to believe his eyes, Leon's hands continue to shake as he holds the briefcase up to his face. He frantically looks around again, checking none of the eight competitors are up yet, before jumping back down off the ladder and bailing out of the ring, then back through the crowd with the briefcase!!!! The referees look on, no idea what to do, as Leon escapes and looks for the first exit out of Caesar's Palace!!! "BULL - SHIT!" "BULL - SHIT!" "BULL - SHIT!" "BULL - SHIT!" Everything freezes in and around the ring as complete confusion falls over everyone. Sitting up in the ring, Baron Windels looks around and yells at the referees, trying to figure out what happened, with Tim Cash trying to check his partner is okay. Alfdogg comes over and demands some answers as well as the referees are left as dumbfounded as everyone else. COLE I can't believe this! Leon Rodez... Leon Rodez has committed highway robbery! He's STOLEN the Money In The Bank briefcase! He wasn't even in the match, he wasn't even supposed to be here at AngleMania, this is... this is unprecedented! Now what!? COACH Leon wins! COLE HOW CAN HE WIN IF HE WASN'T EVEN IN THE MATCH!!!???!?! COACH Alright, alright, don't yell at me! Asshole. I'm just saying, whoever gets the briefcase first wins and he got the briefcase. What else can you do? What other call can you make? COLE Well I don't know what to make of all this. We've got no briefcase, no official winner... I guess this match is over, since there's no briefcase to even get. Baron Windels got screwed, Baron had the briefcase right there in his hands... I... I don't know. All I know is, somewhere, Josie Baker has to be spitting pure venom right about now! A very abrupt end seems to have been called to the match, with EMTs down to check on Sandman and Denzel, while a fuming Baron is escorted back by Tim Cash trying to calm him down. Alfdogg remains in the ring with his hands on his hips looking just as frustrated by what just happened. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 COLE Folks, Saturday was our annual Anglemania Fan Mayhem where the OAOAST Galaxy converged on Ceasar’s Palace for the biggest party Vegas has ever seen! Let’s take a look! OAOAST FAN MAYHEM A montage of highlights from the event is played including superstars posing for pictures with fans, fans facing off against each other in OAOAST triva, Gilbert Arenas hosting a gun safety seminar, and pop starlet Ke$ha performing. Ned and Molly stand in the PictureZone posing for pictures. What else would they be doing at a PictureZone? MOLLY Its been an enlivening and enriching experience spending time with the fine OAOAST Galaxy. I honestly wish this were an opportunity that presented itself more frequently. Ned, do you share similar sentiments? NED You told me we were going to a titty bar. Jade Rodez-Duncan, sister Maya, and D*LUX are signing autographs at an autograph table. MAYA This would be pretty awesome, if I didn’t have a seven page paper on Merchant of Venice due on Monday morning 8:00 AM, and I’m on word three. Not page three. Word three. JADE Uh, yeah, its great. Everything is really cool. The people are so polite to. I think only four of them tried to grab my ass. TYLER Woah do we get to talk? We never get to talk! This is awesome! SHAYNE Say something intelligent, make us look smart. TYLER I like fans. SHAYNE Nevermind. Melody is at the No Homo station playing No Homo with an excited fan. The OAOAST Mark becomes even more excited when he succeeds in pinning Melody’s character MELODY No one beats me in No Homo! No one! (turns to security guards) Bake him away toys. GUARD What did you just say? MELODY Laughing out loud, yeah a Simpson’s reference….get him out of here! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 Cue:: David Bowie-Heroes We fade in on a darkened basketball gym, empty except for the figure of CMJ, attired in his high school basketball jersey I I wish you could swim Like the dolphins Like dolphins can swim We find Spencer Reiger standing alone in a lacrosse field, holding a stick and wearing his high school jersey Though nothing Will keep us together We can beat them For ever and ever Oh we can be Heroes Just for one day We’re shown an image of a young Spencer holding up a lacrosse trophy sandwhiched between his parents I will be king And you You will be queen We’re then shown a similar image of Collin holding up a basketball trophy with a smile stretching across his face Though nothing Will drive them away We can be Heroes Just for one day We can be us Just for one day Another image is shown of Spencer celebrating after a monumentus soccer goal I can remember Standing By the wall And the guns Shot above our heads We see a video of Collin scoring a game winning shot in basketball, with the crowd flooding the floor to praise him as a hero. And we kissed As though nothing could fall And the shame Was on the other side We’re then shown another video this time of Spencer capturing an amateur wrestling victory within record time. Oh we can beat them For ever and ever Then we can be Heroes Just for one day The final image is that of Spencer and Colin posing with their tag team titles the night they won the belts. We can be Heroes We can be Heroes We can be Heroes Just for one day The entire entrance ramp becomes illuminated by a pulsing green light, as yellow spotlights ring out from the entrance stage into the Southwestern night. Adding to the fanciful showing light green and yellow fireworks blast through the star lit sky. Numerous pyrotechnics go off providing a treat for the eyes as it overtakes Vegas with its brilliant intensity. THE WORLD IS MINE The good mood the fireworks created is quickly laid to waste by David Guetta’s ferocious dance track. Those audience members that weren’t brought to their feet by the pyro now rise to douse the LDC Moneygang with flames. Yet even the most hateful of fan must be silenced by the sight of a helicopter hovering above the ring. The aircraft is painted green, and sparkles with glittering gold dollar signs on each side a true testament to vanity as much as the “ENTERPRISE” written in matching gold on the tail. COACH Only The Enterprise! Only The Enterprise! The cynical fans must give begrudging applause to the unusual sight of a helicopter entrance. The champions waste no further time in lingering in the hovering aircraft, and make their grand appearance into Anglemania with Moneymaker smiling a smile as big as the entire state. The three men, wearing Gucci shades, scale to the top turnbuckles and flash arrogant self-satisfied smirks to the sold out outdoor arena, knowing full well the fans can’t help but be impressed with what they’ve done. Also pretend the thing that holds up the MITB briefcase is gone! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of forty minutes and it is for the OAOAST Tag Team Titles now in the ring, accompanied by Theodore Moneymaker, first from New York City he is THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT SPENCER REIGEEEEERRRR, and his partner the United States Champion….COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOOORRRRR! CMJ, wearing hunter green biker shorts, high fives his pinstriped boss Theodore Moneymaker and the two share a round of laughter. Spencer plays it cool in the corner and stays at the height of style with this number, COLE I BE WANTIN' TO BITE SPENCER’S BOOTY LIKE A PEACH! A LONG PAUSE ENSUES AND I DO MEAN LOOOOOOONG AS FUCK, YA’LL! Just as the crowd begins to grow restless does a curtain raise over the entry way. A frightenly beautiful circus arrangement is revelead to the marveled gasps of stunned audience members. The ultra modern take on Ringling Brothers is complete with white tigers, elephants dressed in regal attire, Cirque de Solelil performers, as well as pink and red lights that hang over the stage to form a fantasy like aura. Yet even this mystical arrangement is smashed in its wonderment by the sight of Alix and Krista lowered in front of the center of the Angletron from a harness (shapped with giant telephone cords) attached to the over hanging scaffold. Massive telephone cords are also held by the performers. As if the spectacle weren’t surreal and astounding enough the one and only… LADY GAGA appears on stage! Now shit gets very interesting, as Krista lets Alix go, suspending in her in midair as Alix holds onto her arms. The fans explode with cheers, not expecting to see a trapeze routine of any sort. Beneath the girls the performers dance and glide around the ferocious white tigers and royal elephants. Lady Gaga begins serenading her crowd with her hit song… LADY GAGA (singing) Hello, hello, baby; You called, I can't hear a thing. I have got no service in the club, you see, see… Wha-Wha-What did you say? Oh, you're breaking up on me… Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy. Krista majestically twirls Alix upside down, holding them both in a letter I shape. Alix smiles brightly, clearly loving this routine. LADY GAGA K-kinda busy K-kinda busy Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy. A still smiling Alix stretches herself out forming an L shape and wowing the audience with her unbelievable flexibility. Beneath them the performers playfully lash Lady Gaga with the telephone cords. LADY GAGA Just a second, it's my favorite song they're gonna play And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh… You shoulda made some plans with me, you knew that I was free. And now you won't stop calling me; I'm kinda busy. As the audience sits in a trance with this unreal display of grace, strength and power, the girls swing from side to side. They deftly shfit their positions becoming a unified one as they entangle and untangle their bodies to delighted applause of all. LADY GAGA Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore! I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor. Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna talk anymore! I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor. Red and pink pyro fountains burst to sudden life in front of the twin video towers adding a glorious exclamation point to the stunning performance the tag title challengers are enthralling us with. Lady Gaga matches their style and form, tangling and untangling herself in the phone cords. LADY GAGA Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… Stop telephonin' me! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… I'm busy! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… Stop telephonin' me! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… The girls each climb to the top of the metal construct supporting them. With passion lighting their gorgeous eyes afire they sing their love into each other’s hearts. On the stage Lady Gaga dives backwards into a bed of telephone cords held by the peformers. LADY GAGA Can call all you want, but there's no one home, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! Call when you want, but there's no one home, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! Out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! The girls swing back and forth at an almost frantic pace, bringing some worry to the faces of the audience members. But smiles are beholden by Chicks Over Dicks as they’re in absolute rapture from their performance. In the ring the Moneygang watches with mouth agape, unable to determine how they were one upped in the entrance game. ALIX (singing) Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone won't make me leave no faster. Put my coat on faster, leave my girls no faster. I shoulda left my phone at home, 'cause this is a disaster! Callin' like a collector - sorry, I cannot answer! Not that I don't like you, I'm just at a party. And I am sick and tired of my phone r-ringing. Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station. Tonight I'm not takin' no calls, 'cause I'll be dancin'. 'Cause I'll be dancin' 'Cause I'll be dancin' Tonight I'm not takin' no calls, 'cause I'll be dancin'! The girls continue their swinging with a dare devil touch of Alix being held upside down by her darling lover. In one graceful movement of body, mind and soul, Krista and Alix shift positions to Krista hanging upside down and holding Alix within her tight and tender embrace. On the stage the dancers cocoon Lady Gaga, swinging their telephone cords like wild west lassos. KRISTA (singing) Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… Stop telephonin' me! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… I'm busy! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… Stop telephonin' me! Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh… Can call all you want, but there's no one home, you're not gonna reach my telephone! 'Cause I'm out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! LADY GAGA Call when you want, but there's no one home, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! 'Cause I'm out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub, and you're not gonna reach my telephone! My telephone! M-m-my telephone! 'Cause I'm out in the club, and I'm sippin' that bub, and you're not gonna reach my telephone!GAGA The fans let loose a raucous and heartfelt enthusiastic response for the amazing performance of the girls from Los Angeles and Lady Gaga. America’s Sweethearts are lowered to the ground where they bow graciously to the fans that can’t seem to stop chanting their name. All around them circus performers dance with their whimsical movements and add to the immense fanfare along with red and pink pyro sparklers. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” “Girlfriend” fires up and another mammoth acclaim comes with it. Alix, wearing cute white booty shorts and a low cut furry bikini top, happily charges down the entrance ramp which is adorned in pink and red glitter and surrounded by fashion photographers and journalists all dressed in black. Krista, attired in a white mini skirt and a boobalicious yellow bikini top, decides walking is for suckers and allows herself to be carried to ringside by the Roman Guards. BUFFER Introducing, the record-shattering former FOUR-TIME OAOAST World Tag Team Champions!! Hailing from Los Angeles, California! The team of, the reigning OAOAST United States Champion, "THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL", ALIX MMMAAAAARRRRIIIIAAAAA SSSSSPPEEEEEEZZZIIIIIIAAAAAA!!!! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2010’s Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are your 2010 ANDERSON CUP CHAMPIONS AMERICA’S SWEETHEARTS…….CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! COACH Are we allowed to talk now? KRISTA NO! Krista leaps onto the apron and hangs herself on the third rope, providing a beautiful shot for the birds eye view camera, making it even awesomer to be a helicopter pilot tonight. Alix for her part goes to the top rope and blows kisses to the audience, leading super imposed red lips to pop up all over the screen. Spencer Reiger vehemently complains about this even though the red lips are super imposed so he really shouldn’t care. COLE I think its safe to talk now. Folks, The Enterprise has been at war with Chicks Over Dicks almost since the group’s inception. Members of The Enterprise have come and gone, but one thing remains the same they and Chicks Over Dicks DO NOT get along. And it all comes to a head here at Anglemania brought to you by Little Caesars Pizza. The loser will have to wear a dress and in the case of Chicks Over Dicks I’m not talking Alexander McQueen. COACH A fashion joke? And you wonder why we call you gay. Wearing a dress will be the ultimate humliation for both teams. In The Moneygang you’ve got chauvinistic snobs that already attacked Alix and Krista with the dresses, and in Chicks Over Dicks you have the heights of high fashion being stuck in grandma dresses. And what’s worse for the loser? They miss out on the OAOAST tag team titles. COLE COD in their third tag team title contest at Anglemania, and America’s Sweethearts have a perfect record so far. The LDCMG refuse to enter the ring until the referee backs COD away. As he does, the champs launch a surprise attack. * DINGDINGDING * COD reverse a pair of Irish whips and deliver stereo backdrops, followed by double dropkicks to knock the LDCMG outside. Theodore Moneymaker hops on the apron and eats a knuckle sandwich! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The LDCMG reorganize, then CMJ and Alix lockup. COACH This is a mismatch here, Cole. CMJ is a wrestling machine. No way Alix can keep up. Alix makes Coach eat his words after taking CMJ over in an arm drag. Again. And again! CMJ kicks the bottom rope in frustration as Alix throws her hands in the air and waves them like she just doesn’t care. COLE You were saying, Coach? COACH Oh, shut up! Alix and CMJ lockup again, and this time Alix is backed into the corner. COLE We will get a clean break? The only thing CMJ wishes to break is Alix’s jaw via Irish uppercuts. CMJ suplexes Alix out of the corner and tags Reiger, who telegraphs a measured knee drop and smacks the canvas hard. Krista tags in and shoves Reiger in the corner for a series of punches. ONE! TWO! THREE FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! Reiger staggers out a bloody mess, to which Krista stares down at her crotch and shrugs her shoulders. REIGER (wipes face) Reiger flaps his arms like a teenage girl who just spotted a Jonas brother, not out of excitement but panic. Krista adds to his misery courtesy of an atomic drop that causes him to collide into CMJ, then get SCHOOL BOY‘D! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Krista just took fighting dirty to a whole new level, Cole. She purposely… Well, you saw it! COLE What do you want me to do, go clean her up? COACH My point is: they sell products to handle stuff like that. Why the hell didn’t Krista bother to buy one?!? Krista whips Reiger across and delivers THE HEBREW HAMMER! To add insult to injury, Krista flicks an EMPTY PACKET OF KETCHUP at Reiger. COLE Oh, it was the old ketchup trick! COACH A sick dirty trick. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger reverses a whip to the corner and delivers a running knee to Krista’s face. COACH Blood is the New Blood! Instead of going for the cover, Reiger drags Krista out of the corner and stomps the hell out of her in retaliation for her trick. Snapped over by her hair Krista receives a measured knee drop to the heart. ONE! TWO! NO! Reiger pulls Krista up and rams her face-first into the knee of CMJ. The LDCMG tag and CMJ delivers a combination of Irish uppercuts and knife-edge chops. Unlike earlier, CMJ breaks cleanly, but only to allow Reiger to CHOKE KRISTA WITH THE DRAW STRING OF HIS SHORTS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" T-Bone HARVARDPLEX leads to a cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger wants back in and CMJ grants him his wish. Scoop and a… NO, KRISTA ROLLS THROUGH! COLE Small package! COACH That’s what he said. The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Kick to the gut stuns Krista, not enough to keep her from reversing an Irish whip. With her back facing Reiger on the rebound Krista leapfrogs onto his shoulders and takes him down in a VICTORY ROLL! ONE! TW-- NO! Krista turns over and proceeds to do pushups, smashing Reiger’s head against the mat! COLE Krista working her arms, thighs and buttocks with that move there. COACH Not to mention Spencer’s pretty face. Like a hyperactive child, Alix begs for the tag. Unable to grab Krista’s attention she busts out the puppy dog face. KRISTA A tag is made and COD perform a DOUBLE BOOTYSHAKING MOONSAULT!! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY CMJ! Shocked by his act, Alix walks up to CMJ as he’s being escorted back to his corner by the referee and gives him a WET WILLY~!!! COLE (laughs) Alix being Alix. COACH In other words, retarded. Alix turns and gets nailed by a standing dropkick that knocks her outside. There CMJ extracts a little measure of revenge whipping her against the guardrail. Even Moneymaker gets in a few licks of his own, prompting Krista to rush to Alix‘s defense. That ends up doing more harm than good as she’s ordered to return to her corner, thus allowing the LDCMG and Moneymaker to triple-team Alix. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger tosses Alix back in and delivers his trademark SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger looks to follow a slam with a MOONSAULT… BUT THE CALIFORNIA ROLL ALLOWS ALIX TO ESCAPE!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix keeps rolling until realizing this is her moment to tag out, but the LDCMG tag first and CMJ gives her a HIGH-LIFTING GERMAN SUPLEX! COLE Irish Suplex! And this could be it right here. The count. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY KRISTA! She and CMJ get into a verbal spat as Reiger does a number on Alix behind the ref’s back. COACH Krista again letting her emotions get the best of her. She ought to throw in the towel and head for the kitchen wearing the beautiful dress the LDC Moneygang bought for her and Alix. It’d be much more relaxing. CMJ drops a knee into the back of Alix’s neck and then slaps on a vicious side headlock. “LET’S GO ALIX!“ clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* “LET’S GO ALIX!“ clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* “LET’S GO ALIX!“ clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* The LDCMG tag and CMJ sends Alix for the ride, dropping down on the rebound so Reiger can deliver a RUNNING INVERTED BULLDOG! COLE New York Knockout! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger paintbrushes Alix upside the head, then whips her across only to be drilled by a SPRINGBOARD SPEAR! COLE That spear came Straight out of Compton. The first to stir, Alix starts crawling towards the wrong corner. With that in mind Krista baits CMJ inside and points Alix in the right direction to Moneymaker’s dismay. COACH She can’t do that! If this were the other way around you’d be calling foul, Cole. Alix makes the tag and the crowd explodes. Reiger begs off but Krista comes at him like a runaway freight train. Reiger reverses a whip but telegraphs a background. Krista leapfrogs him and delivers an inverted atomic drop, followed by a super kick! COLE Krista's Great California Adventure! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO!! Krista moves and CMJ elbows Reiger! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix re-enters the picture and COD give CMJ a double BAAAAAACK body drop, then a LAST KISS GOOD KNIGHT! COACH When’s this idiot referee gonna put a stop to the illegal double-teaming going on in the ring? Alix celebrates on the middle turnbuckle and gets dropkicked to the floor by Reiger. Krista charges ahead but crashes hard into the buckles, then gets drilled by THE REIGER COUNTER!! COLE He got it! The Reiger Counter! COACH Talk about snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, SAVE BY ALIX! Irate, Moneymaker jumps on the apron and receives a LOW BLOW from MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER Alix dumps Moneymaker inside and gives him a YOUTUBE MOMENT! Reiger yanks Alix off and holds her in place for CMJ, but she ducks and Reiger takes a shot from his own partner, then stumbles into THE KIDOLOGY~! We get double pin attempts as Alix school boy’s CMJ. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * COLE Yes! COACH No! “Girlfriend” cues to a thunderous ovation. Meanwhile, Theodore Moneymaker throws a fit. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… and for a record fifth-time World tag team champions… KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA… CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" CMJ watches in disbelief as COD are awarded the tag titles. COLE You can almost see the realization sinking in. CMJ and Spencer Reiger must wear a dress for 30 days! COACH Are we sure all the i’s were crossed and the t’s were dotted on the match contract? COLE It’s an iron clad contract. Not even all of Theodore Moneymaker’s money can bail his men out. Right now let's send it over to our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 We cut over to Brannigan near the entryway. BRANNIGAN Thanks very much guys. I'm still out of breath over that last one. Our congratulations to COD on their historic 5th tag title reign. Still to come: OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Reject defends his title against the #1 contender, Mr. Dick. Revenge no doubt on the mind of the Real American Dick, just as the OAOAST will be in an empire state of mind for AngleMania X. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S... ANGLEMANIA X SUNDAY NIGHT APRIL 3, 2011 ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW PRESENTED IN OAOASTHD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 Maggie Nerdly is backstage with a familiar face, Reject, flanked by the Deadly Alliance. MAGGIE Backstage with the World champion, Reject...who is hopefully minutes away from being laid flat on his back at the hands of Mr. Dick. REJECT (grinning) Well, if anyone would know about getting laid flat on their back, it'd be you, sweetie! Reject's barb incites laughter from the DA members. REJECT We indeed are moments away, honey. And someone will be left prone on the mat...but you've got it twisted. Jock...the Deadly Alliance made you a star. We took you from midcard hell, from farting around with the Conquistadors and the Diablos, and made you a marquee name. And I never asked anything of you in return, except for a little respect. I don't think that's asking much, but apparently I was wrong. So is that the way you want it, Jock? No respect? Well, we can play that game. You know, this isn't even about titles for me anymore. I can settle for just leaving you laying in a pool of your own blood. I may not beat any respect out of you, but I can do that much. And no matter who walks out with the belt at the end...I can promise you, Jock, you career will never, ever be the same. Reject sends a dark stare into the camera as he walks off. QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK The sound of ducks quacking does in fact come from actual ducks, as a full flock of the waterfowl walks onto the Anglemania entrance stage. Like perfectly trained animals they line up in a row, patiently awaiting their human equally foul(lol) friend, Vinny Valentine. The groovy tunage of Rock Your Baby summons out the Disco Duck, and the jeers drown out the quacking of the duck flock. This matters not to Brooklyn native, who’s legs, clad in glittering rainbow sequin pants, jive and dance with the funky beat. He performs a fantastic twirl, before dropping to his knees and pointing his left index finger toward the open sky. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring he hails from Brooklyn, New York and weighs two hundred twenty pounds! He is the Disco Duck….VINNNNYYYYYYY VAALLLLENTIIIIIINEEEEEE! COLE Vinny Valentine making his second Anglemania appearance and it comes against his one time friend Biff Atlas. A tough challenge for the Disco Duck. COACH Please. From Nutrition guru to superhero Biff Atlas is still a bitch. V-Squared’s name announcement is met with bile from the audience who all but turn their back on the OAOAST superstar. Vinny continues to reside in his own magical world, where he is king as he twirls to show off his outrageous tights. COLE Vinny wants to prove to the OAOAST Galaxy that he was the one that carried Panic! At The Disco to greatness. I don’t know what greatness he’s referring to but there it is. COACH There is none! And that’s Vinny’s point. The team was held back because of Biff. Vinny could’ve been so much more in the tag division and it’s the fault Biff Atlas that he wasn’t. Vinny slides into the squared circle where his latest twirl is met with more rage and disgust from Vegas. Finally getting the hint, Vinny merely resides in the corner to await his one time ally. He needn’t wait for very long however as a solemn faced Biff Atlas, clad in full on superhero outfit, appears on the entrance stage. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Guys like Sandman, Bohemoth, Spencer Reiger, they’re booed out the arena but this idiot, and I can’t stress that word enough, is cheered? What is wrong with these people? Look at what this fool is wearing! My next door neighbor dresses like this. He’s eight! Biff marches to the ring, as stone faced, as he was when he made his first appearance. This battle hardened expression does little to intimidate Valentine who waves the Venice Beach native on. BUFFER And the opponent! From Venice Beach, California... he weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! COLE Biff Atlas has come under the tutelage of Melody Nerdly from what we understand. COACH There’s a recipe for disaster if ever I heard one! That explains this moron’s outfit. It looks like someone threw up on Batman. This idiot. I hate him! DING DING DING COACH Now look at Vinny, that’s style! That’s style and class, and its perfect for Anglemania! Biff Atlas has no business on this show while boys like The Hellfire Club sit on the sideline. The sparkling and bold Valentine points a finger at Biff and promises him defeat and destruction from the one man Disco Wrecking Ball. Atlas holds firm, refusing to be lured into fright from his one time best friend. “DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!” The cruel comments catch Vinny’s attention and he turns to the crowd to smear them with insults. This is Biff’s moment to strike, and he does quickly by hammering on Valentine with forearms to the back. COLE Biff getting the jump on Vinny Valentine! COACH A cowardly jump! Rip that mask off and show him what’s good, V-Squared! Already tired of being brutally pummeled, Vinny attempts to make a hasty get away. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t make it more than a few inches before Biff shoves him violently into the corner posts. Still trying to save himself, Vinny raises his hands and pleads for a stoppage. Biff questions what he should do in the situation and turns to the audience, “BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!” Problematically for V-Squared that solves Biff’s moral quandary. The would be super hero winds up with a haymaker and takes a swing at Vinny. But The Disco Duck shoots bellow Biff’s attacking him and switches places with Atlas. A wide smile appears on Vinny’s face as he prepares to unleash a torrent of chops on his former partner. But this attack pattern never comes off as Biff grabs Vinny by the neck and throws him back into the corner. There will be no reprieve for Valentine. Not at this moment as Biff begins blasting him with powerful forearms to the chin. “BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!” Biff takes hold of Vinny’s arm and throws him to the opposite corner. He comes rumbling in after him, and raises his arms to strike Vinny in the chest with a powerful lariat! As the audience cheers the beating, Vinny staggers out the corner. He throws a few punches at an opponent only he can see and then topples over to the canvas. COLE I didn’t think it was possible but Vinny is actually faring worse than he did in his first Anglemania match. COACH No. The difference tonight is he hasn’t been attacked by the Kool-Aid man. Biff grabs onto Vinny’s heavily gelled hair, and uses it to pull the disco fanatic to his feet. Never one to give up on a bad idea, V-Squared again begs for Biff to ease up. No dice. Atlas devastates his foe with a left right combo that backs him back into the corner. Biff stays in the center of the ring and raises the roof. No one ever accused him of being up on pop culture. Regardless of his out of date commentary, Biff makes another dash at his old partner. But Vinny raises his sparkling legs and nails his opponent in the face with both his knees. COACH That’s the way, V-Squared. Bring yourself back into this match. You can’t lose to a fool in a six year old’s Halloween costume. Vinny climbs to the second rope, and blows a kiss to a now repulsed lady in the front row. Ignoring her poor reaction, Vinny flies forward and connects with an elbow to Biff’s head. The superhero falls over to the canvas, landing on his knees and dazed from the strike. This works to Vinny’s advantage as he comes off the ropes and punts Biff in the back of the head. Atlas falls back first onto the mat, leaving him open to an easy pin from V-Squared…. ONE! TWO! Biff pops his shoulder off the canvas. Its an action that puts a dour expression onto Vinny’s face. He picks Biff up and stuffs him inside a front facelock. The Disco Duck calls for a simple DDT, earning jeers from the jam packed Vegas crowd. He brushes them aside and expects to hit his hold. But Biff picks him up and whirls him around before slamming him into the ground with excellent force! COLE What a show of strength from Biff Atlas! COACH Lucky break, Mikey, lucky break. If the crowd hadn’t distracted Vinny, Biff’s brains would be splattered all across this ring. Biff falls atop Vinny for a pinning situation…. ONE! TWO! Valentine performs a kickout, deflating the previously enthused Atlas. He pulls V-Squared off the canvas and tosses him into the ropes. Rebounding, Vinny faces a back elbow from Atlas. He ducks bellow the attack, however, and comes up behind his heroic opponent. This allows him to reach backwards and latch onto Biff’s neck in hopes of hitting a neckbreaker. However, Biff captures hold of Vinny’s arms and brings his opponent down for a clever backslide pin attempt! ONE! TWO! Vinny hurriedly slides himself out the unexpected pinfall, and appears frightened over having been pinned. Both men then roll themselves upright at the same moment. Its Biff who attempts to draw first blood with a swinging lariat. But Valentine ducks the attack, and succeeds in executing his neckbreaker! Pleased with his performance, he bestows upon himself a round of applause. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Vegas loves their retro acts, but there’s no love for Vinny Valentine here in Sin City. Vinny grabs hold of Biff’s thickly muscled legs and bridges backwards to hurl him into the corner. Just as soon as Biff’s chest smacks against the posts, his head is struck by a running elbow from V-Squared. Things worsen for Atlas as Vinny brings him down with an inverted DDT. The Disco Duck then celebrates his respectable performance with some groovy disco dancing! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE See what I mean. COACH These people don’t appreciate authentic acts, only imitators. I bet if the real Elvis came and cut a track these cats would call him flabby, husky voiced, and a cheap dresser. Vinny lays into Biff’s sore head with stomps from his gator skin boots. Strangely, he grows mad at Biff when the boots become scuffed and takes it out on his former best friend with a knee drop to the top of his head. Biff grabs onto his skull in pain, as agony overwhelms him. The misery only grows worse when Vinny, aided by the ropes, kneels onto the top of his head. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer begins a count on the illegal tactic. ONE! TWO! THREE! Vinny breaks the hold…merely to replay the hold for three more seconds! Once he’s forced to make a final break he mounts Biff and tags him with several powerful punches. These closed fists don’t go unnoticed by the 85 year old referee, and an annoyed Vinny is once again forced to break away from his tormenting of Biff. COLE The Disco Duck may have been “quacking”….heh….in his boots earlier in this match but its been all Vinny Valentine since then. Taunting Biff with lyrics from disco songs, Vinny begins scraping him off the canvas by his mask. But Biff heroically fights backs, peppering his foe with right hands. Biff manages to stun Vinny, and for that reason is able to take off to the ropes. When he returns, he flattens the Disco Duck with a powerful lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Although dazed and hurt, Vinny stumbles back to his feet. But this is a monumentally bad mistake as Biff merely runs through him with another lariat! Feeling a surge of adrenaline Atlas turns to the Vegas sky and lets out a mighty roar! COACH I hate it when this idiot starts getting confident. No one gets more excited about executing the most simple of wrestling moves than that clownshoe Biff Atlas. Still seething with heroic fire, Biff attempts a third lariat on the Disco Duck. But Vinny counteracts that attack by kicking out Biff’s leg, dropping his opponent to the ground. VINNY Vegas! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” VINNY I want to put on my my my my boogie shoes just to boogie with YOU! As the Anglemania audience derides him with insults, a delighted Disco Duck takes to the ropes. Once he reaches his one time compadre he nearly takes off his head with a shining wizard! Biff topples backwards, his head ringing out in anguish. COACH Hahahah! Biff got a taste of those Boogie Shoes! I love it! Vinny hooks onto Biff’s left leg for a pinfall effort…. ONE! TWO! Biff brings his shoulder up and evades certain defeat. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Angered by Biff’s pinfall escape, Vinny pounds out the canvas in frustration. When finished with his mini-tantrum. Vinny begins bringing Biff off the mat. But Atlas finds a surge of energy and runs V-Squared all the way to the ring posts! There Biff thrills the capacity crowd as he devastates his adversary with shoulder strikes to Vinny’s thin midsection! “BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!” Unnoticed amidst all the joy and celebration, Mariano has crawled from beneath the ring to slip a pair of golden knuckles onto Vinny’s hand. COLE Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Unaware of what’s transpired, Biff backs away from Vinny to set up grander attacks. That precise moment is when The Disco Duck flashes forward to strike with his gold covered hand. But Biff swiftly ducks the attack and poor Clem Buzzlefoxer is struck down in his stead. COLE That could spell the end for Clem! COACH After 85 years its long over due. Vinny couldn’t possibly care less about the injured official; instead his only focus is on destroying his one time friend. He lunges forward for another attack, but misses completely as Biff twirls him around with a spinning powerslam! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans toss cheers into the open Vegas air. But a pinfall cannot be made without any referee. Realizing that the dear offical has suffered grave malaise, Biff does what any good superhero would do and checks on the injured elder. But this leaves him open to attack, and its Quincy who strikes now, smashing him in the back with a steel chair! “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans are teeming with fury as Luther and Waldo usher referee Mike Chioda down to ringside. The official reluctantly slides into the ring and makes an even more reluctant scoring of Vinny’s pinfall… ONE! TWO! BIFF MANAGES A KICKOUT! COACH Noooooooo! I don’t believe it! Neither can the Ghetto Groove Monkeys who freak out on the outside, while the fans celebrate with cheers. Vinny shushes them, wisely assuming that Biff’s time in this match has come to a violent close. He begins picking Atlas off the canvas, but suddenly Biff shoots to life and takes Vinny onto his shoulders! Vinny struggles to fight free of Atlas, but can not find the ability to break his bonds. Within moments the Disco Duck’s goose is cooked with a DVD into a Michinoku Driver! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks scream, as Biff reaches forward to grab Vinny’s legs for a pinfall... ONE! But the GGMs have Chioda distracted. COLE Damn it! However Buzzlefoxer heroically returns to action and scores the pin himself…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…. Buffer’s announcement is interrupted by the disturbing sight of the GGMs flooding the ring and laying their tennis shoes to Biff! COLE This isn’t right! Not one bit! Vinny, despondent and enraged over the loss, quickly joins in. He takes grand pleasure in pounding at Biff, as Atlas screams bring a broad smile onto his sweat-drenched face. COLE Someone put a stop to this! That someone is MARV and MEL led by Melody Nerdly, and her bouncing breasts! The two brothers hit the ring and immediately lay waste to Marino and Luther. Quincy eats a Double Kickflip (dropsault) for attempting to attack the highflying duo. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Waldo is next to fall as he’s suplexed straight out the ring onto his partners in crime. But Vinny won’t be so easily disposed of as he wields a chair. Forgoing MARV and MEL, he turns his attention to Melody. The Nerdly girl begs to be spared, but the crazed look in Vinny’s eyes tell her that her fate will not be a kind one. However the chair is ripped out Vinny’s hands by Biff! Outraged, Vinny whirls around, only to be pounded in the head by the chair and sent flying over the ropes! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The CAE thank Biff for saving their sister from sure doom. He sheepishly accepts their gratitude and even more sheepishly accepts his hands being raised in victory by the three Nerdlies. SCHOOL'S OUT SUNDAY NIGHT, MAY 30 LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2010 *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed by an official of the OAOAST, that the following match, will be NO HOLDS BARRED! *crowd cheers* COLE Wow. That's a huge announcement! COACH I gotta think that favors the champion, Reject! The intro to Motley Crue's Motherfucker of the Year hits, and the crowd comes to its feet. I'm just the bone in your side, The disrespect in your eye, I can't control myself. Mr. Dick walks through the curtains, hearing the cheers of the Vegas crowd. I'm like the stain in your drain, I'm taking over your brain, 'Cuz I can't help myself. COLE Mister Dick on the way for the biggest match of his career! COACH And quite possibly the last match! COLE You know, Coach, I don't know that I agree that Reject is the one benefiting here from the NHB stipulation, because this now prevents him from saving his title on a DQ or a count-out! COACH Oh please, Cole, it was never going to come to that! Do you really think that after all the talking Reject's done, talking about how he wants respect, that he's going to come out here and take the easy way out like that? Get real. No Holds Barred, that just means Reject is not restricted in the amount of torture he deals out to Jock Mulligan! Mr. Dick goes through his theatrics in the ring as his pyro goes off. Final Ride by TRU hits, and the boos fill Vegas as Reject makes his way through the curtains and walks to the ring. COACH And you know, Reject was right earlier, too! Do you think for one minute that Jock would be in the main event of AngleMania right now if it weren't for the Deadly Alliance taking him in? He'd be in some undercard six-man match with Biff Atlas and Jumbo! The Deadly Alliance made this guy, and tonight Reject's going to extract his debts! Reject climbs into the ring, as Buffer preps himself. BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time, for the main event matchup of the evening! Tonight, two former associates turned bitter rivals, will do battle in this very ring. One man seeking glory, one man seeking respect...in this match, for the Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! *crowd cheers* BUFFER Introducing first, to my left, the challenger! *crowd cheers* BUFFER He hails from San Antonio, Texas, and weighs in at 238 pounds! One of the hottest, young rising stars in the business today, and tonight, he has the chance to take that final step against his former mentor. Ladies and gentlemen...the challenger...MISSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!! *crowd cheers* BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, to my right, his opponent. *crowd boos* BUFFER He hails from the Bronx, and weighs in at 232 and 1/2 pounds! A man who over the last six months has solidified himself as a top star in the business, and tonight, he makes his first appearance as the centerpiece of the grandest event of them all. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the leader of the Deadly Alliance...the reigining TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E EEEECT!!!!! Reject poses as the crowd boos. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the time has arrived. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Las Vegas, Nevada...ARRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Las Vegas, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Reject and MD meet in mid-ring, and have a staredown. As the flashbulbs go off, Reject removes the belt and hands it to the referee, who raises it in the air, and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* The two men continue to stare down, until Reject lets a sizeable wad of spit fly into MD's face! COLE The ultimate act of disrespect from Reject! COACH Like Reject said, if that's the game Jock Mulligan wants to play, two can play at that game! MD backs off and puts his hands on his hips, looking out into the crowd, then wipes his face off, and connects with a right hand! COLE And here we go! The two men exchange fists, with MD getting the better of the exchange. He backs Reject into a corner, then whips him hard across, and catches him with a backdrop! COLE And Mr. Dick taking the advantage in the early going! MD backs Reject into another corner, and begins to hammer away, but Reject goes to the eyes and turns it around. Reject delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! MD turns it back around, though, and starts drilling him with rights once again. He whips him across, and this time clotheslines him down. When Reject gets to his feet, MD meets him with a DISCUS PUNCH~!, sending Reject backwards over the top to the floor! COLE And Reject sent to the outside! MD follows Reject outside, and hammers away on him, then drops him chest-first on the guardrail! MD rolls back inside, and Reject slowly follows, but when he sticks his head through the ropes, MD grabs it and drops down to the mat, executing a necksnap on the ropes! Reject falls back to the outside, and MD goes out once again, stomping away at him, then ramming him into the steel steps! COLE It's been all Mr. Dick in the early going here, maybe Reject wasn't giving him enough respect! COACH Hey, there's still a long way to go in this match, Cole! Just wait! MD and Reject brawl into the timekeeper's table, where Reject gets hold of a chair and jams it into the gut of MD! COLE And Reject with a chair! Remember, this match is now No Holds Barred! Reject then measures MD, and lays a chairshot into the back! COLE Big shot to the back! Reject tosses MD back inside, and rolls inside with the chair. MD ends up in a corner, and Reject charges with the chair raised overhead, but eats MD's boot! COLE MD able to avoid another shot with that steel chair! MD picks up Reject and executes a back suplex onto the chair! COLE And now Reject dropped right onto the steel chair! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! MD stomps away on Reject until he falls to the outside, then follows him out, but Reject quickly recovers and meets him with a clothesline! Reject delivers right hands, and a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then charges MD, but gets backdropped over the guardrail into the stands! COACH They're taking it into the people, Cole! Reject and MD slug it out into the crowd, with Reject winning the exchange. Reject sets up for a piledriver, but MD blocks, and backdrops Reject onto the concrete! MD then finds a trash can and brings it down onto the head of Reject! COLE Mr. Dick looking great so far in this AngleMania main event! MD tosses Reject back to the ringside area, then inside the ring and grabs the chair. He waits for Reject to get to his feet, then clobbers him across the forehead with the chair! COACH Oh no! COLE What a shot with that steel chair from Mr. Dick! MD then lays the chair across the face of Reject, and drops a big elbow onto it! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Reject has been split open by that chair! Reject uses the ropes to pull himself up, and MD charges, but Reject executes a high backdrop to the floor! COLE Wow, a long way down for Mr. Dick, and Reject catching a big break here! Reject catches his wind, then follows MD outside, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then grabs MD around the waist, and rams him back-first into the apron, then rolls back inside and poses, to the boos of the crowd. COACH See, what'd I tell you, Cole? It was only a matter of time before Reject took over this match from Jock Mulligan. Reject stomps MD as he slides back inside, then sets him up in a corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject brings MD out, and executes a fisherman's buster! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks Jock up, and executes a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Reject sets MD up once again, and executes another CHOP~! in the corner! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then whips MD hard across into the other corner, then catches him and whips him back into the original corner, then catches him with another CHOP~! taking him down to the mat! COACH Beautiful sequence by the champ! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE Reject is slowly dominating this match! If he doesn't make a big mistake here, it looks like he may walk out of here still the champion! Reject picks MD up, standing him up straight, then delivers a big dropkick, sending MD rolling to the outside! Reject poses once again, drawing boos. COACH Yeah! Just a matter of time, Cole! MD climbs to the apron, and Reject hooks him, bringing him back inside with a suplex! COLE Great suplex! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Reject whips MD into a corner, and hammers him down with right hands, then chokes him with his boot. He brings him back up, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! But MD fires back with a right hand! COLE Mr. Dick fighting back here! Reject leans on MD in the corner, and delivers another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Another right from MD! Reject leans again, then delivers a third CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! MD unleashes a flurry of right hands! COLE Look at the fight from Mr. Dick! However, Reject ends the charge quickly with a thumb to the eye. Reject then grabs the chair, and clobbers MD with it! COLE And now Mr. Dick takes one on the head! COACH lol Reject scales the top rope, as the now bloodied Jock lays prone on the mat. Reject measures, and comes off for the MACHO MAN ELBOW~!!!...but MD is out of the way! COLE And nobody home! Both men lay on the mat for a few seconds, then come to their knees and slug it out. They work to their feet, and tangle into the ropes, where Reject drives a knee into the gut of MD, then shoots him into the ropes. MD ducks a spinkick, then drills Reject with a STIFF KICK~! COLE And Mr. Dick lands a big kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! MD waits on Reject, then executes an inverted atomic drop, followed by a Clothesline from Hell! COLE The Cock Shock! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE VERY close to a new champion right there! MD measures Reject, and clotheslines him over the top to the floor! COLE And now Mr. Dick taking it to the floor! MD grabs Reject by the head, and rams him into the steel steps! Reject staggers around, then is grabbed again and rammed into the ringpost! COLE Mr. Dick beating Reject all around the ring! COACH lol COLE Would you stop that?!? MD tosses Reject back inside, and whips him into a corner, charging and hitting him with a cross body block! COLE Bite My Giant Dick! Jock then lets him come into the middle of the ring, and hooks him in a full nelson...but as he lifts, Reject is able to slip out and connect with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 in mid-air! COACH He got him! COLE What a counter by Reject! COACH It's over, Cole! I told you! Reject wipes his brow, then turns over and covers... 1... 2... 3!!! NO! Reject grabs the referee's arm as it's coming down for the 3! COLE Wait a minute! COACH What is Reject doing? Jock Mulligan is out, Reject, you got the pin! Reject gets to his feet and rolls to the outside. He reaches under the ring, and comes out with a BARBED WIRE-WRAPPED steel chair! COLE Oh, wait a minute. COACH He doesn't care about winning the match, he wants to hurt Jock Mulligan, he wants to change this man's life forever! He said it earlier tonight, Cole! Reject rolls into the ring with the chair, and rakes it across the face of MD, opening his wound even more. He then waits on MD to get to his feet. He raises the chair overhead, and DRILLS MD with it, with such effort that he even falls to the mat himself! COLE Oh my! Reject really out to do a number on Mr. Dick! Reject sits on the mat for a few seconds, then covers... 1... 2... 3!!! NO! Reject STOPS THE REFEREE'S ARM AGAIN! COLE Oh, come on! Reject exits the ring, and makes his way to the timekeeper's table, grabbing a Crown Royal bag. COACH What, is he gonna have a drink between falls? Reject opens the bag up, and pulls out a pair of handcuffs! COLE Oh my God...this is getting out of hand! Reject steps into the ring, and the referee steps in front of him, trying to talk him out of what he's about to do, and is met with a right hand for his efforts! COLE And now Reject assaulting referees! Reject gets the cuffs on one hand, but MD fights him off with right hands, then hits the PURE PENETRATION~! COLE Mr. Dick fighting back, and this time he hits that full nelson slam! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! MD picks up Reject and whips him into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Reject drives him to the mat with a Rocker dropper! COACH I think the tank is empty on Jock Mulligan after that one! Reject finishes applying the cuffs, then grabs the chair and holds it in one hand as he waits for Jock to get to his feet. COLE And look, Mr. Dick is defenseless! When MD turns around, Reject kicks a field goal with his balls! COACH DAY-UM~! Reject then raises the chair, and blasts the defenseless MD with it! Reject covers, as the referee slowly comes to... 1... 2... 3!!! NO! Reject once again stops his arm! The crowd boos loudly as Reject comes to his feet. COLE Reject is a disgusting human being! MD's face is now a crimson mask, as Reject lifts the chair once again. MD is near powerless to get to his feet without the use of his arms. COLE Come on, enough is enough! Suddenly, Malaysia runs to the ring and hops onto the apron, getting halfway through the ropes before Reject clocks her between the eyes with the chair! COLE I can't believe this! Malaysia, split open instantly from the chairshot, falls limp the rest of the way into the ring. Reject stares down at her as blood streams down her unconscious face. COLE Damn him! COACH She is unconscious, Cole! One shot from Reject, and she is out! MD finally is somehow able to come up, but is immediately put back down with another chairshot! Reject places a foot on MD's chest and poses, with no count because the referee is still dazed. Reject sets up MD in a corner, and lifts the chair, then charges, but MD moves out of the way! COLE Mr. Dick simply going on instinct here! Reject continues pursuit, swinging the chair at MD on the ropes, but MD moves, and the chair hits the ropes and comes back into the face of Reject! COLE Look at that! Reject just nailed himself! Everyone is down, as Tim Cash comes running from the back with a police officer! COACH Oh, what's this idiot doing out here? COLE Tim Cash coming out with a policeman! The cop pulls out a set of keys, and finds one to unhook the handcuffs on MD! COLE And the officer, thank God, able to free Mr. Dick of the cuffs! COACH Now that is not right, Cole! No one from the Deadly Alliance has come out and interfered in this match, and we've already had two run-ins on behalf of Jock Mulligan! COLE Tim Cash didn't touch anyone! He just brought out that officer to free Mr. Dick of those handcuffs! And Malaysia was out here out of concern for Mr. Dick! COACH Oh yeah, we all know Malaysia would never interfere in a match, sorry! MD manages to prop himself on the ropes, and the first thing he sees is Malaysia laying unconscious on the mat. Seeing this, MD is able to pull himself up, with a scowl on his face. COLE Uh-oh, Mr. Dick just realized what has happened here to Malaysia, and he's got a renewed energy here! MD approaches Reject with fists clenched, and pummels him good in the corner. He whips him into the ropes, backing into the ropes himself, and drilling him with a STIFF KICK~! COLE Another big kick from Mr. Dick! MD collapses into the ropes, then pulls himself back up and executes an inverted atomic drop, followed by a Clothesline from Hell! COLE Cock Shock! MD waves for Reject to get up, as the camera cuts to the aisle, where Baron Windels is hammering away on Thunderkid, as Tim Cash is pulling himself off the floor. COLE Look at this! Tim Cash I think was just nailed by TK, and now Baron and TK duking it out in the aisle! COACH Well obviously Cash was on his way out to interfere again, and TK was putting a stop to it! COLE Oh please... The camera cuts back quickly to see Sandman9000 nail MD as he has Reject set up for the COCK BLOCK~!!!!!11111 COLE Speaking of interference, Coach! COACH Well, Baron was on his way down after his cheap shots on TK, Sandman was just cutting him off! COLE Are you blind? Sandman just took a cheap shot at Mr. Dick? Reject hooks MD as Sandman backs into the ropes with the chair...but MD slips out, and Sandman hits Reject! COACH Oh no! COLE And Mr. Dick able to escape, and Reject takes the blow! MD knocks Sandman from the ring with a STIFF KICK~!, then lifts Reject, and executes the COCK BLOCK~!!!!!11111 COLE HE HIT IT! THE COVER! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE YES! YES! YES! COACH No, no, no! COLE MISTER DICK HAS DONE IT! WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...MISSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!! Motherfucker of the Year plays, as Cash and Windels jog down to the ring to celebrate with the new champion. COLE Mr. Dick took an unbelievable amount of punishment in this match, against a man who was perhaps hellbent on ending his career! But he persevered, and now, Mr. Dick has reached the top of the mountain! He is the NEW OAOAST World champion! MD, leaning against the ropes, shakes Baron's hand, then moves in for an embrace as the crowd applauds. COLE And who'd have thought we'd ever see this again? The former Lone Star Gunslingers, celebrating together, as Mr. Dick has picked up the biggest win of his career! MD shakes hands with Tim Cash, as confetti and balloons spill from their compartments above the ring, and Mr. Dick puts his left arm around Baron for support as Cash raises his right arm, the belt in Mr. Dick's right hand, as fireworks explode in the Vegas sky. COLE And an exhausted Mr. Dick, as even in defeat, I believe Reject made true on his words, Mr. Dick will never be the same again after this war! MD then kneels in front of Malaysia, who is just coming to, and shows her the belt. MD I did it, baby! We did it! Malaysia wearily smiles, as Jock embraces her, and the two share loving kisses on the mat. COLE What a moment here, and what an unbelievable night! For the Coach, I'm Michael Cole, wrapping up yet another AngleMania! We'll see you next year in New York City, and we'll see you this Thursday on HeldDOWN~! Mr. Dick, Malaysia, Baron and Cash continue to celebrate in the ring as we... FADE TO BLACK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 29, 2010 ANGLEMANIA IX DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY Alfdogg Tony149 Patty O'Green King Cucaracha GRAPHICS King Cucaracha OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Tony149 Anglesault © 2010 OAOAST Entertainment Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
