Tony149 0 Report post Posted April 21, 2010 To open the start of the show, please. [size=4][color=#00BFFF][b]-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-[/b][/size] [/color] The show opens with TIM CASH frantically pacing backstage. CASH Where could they be? Cash exit’s the picture. COLE Where could WHO be?!? COACH Parts Unknown or maybe Reno, Nevada. *mimics rimshot* Cole sighs as we cut away to Miley. [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA[/video] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted April 21, 2010 Promo COLE In case you’ve joined us late, earlier tonight we saw Tim Cash worried as can be. We now understand it’s because his partners in tonight’s 6-man tag title match, One & Only World tag team champions the Lone Star Gunslingers, have yet to arrive at the arena. For more on that we send it to our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan. Backstage we go where Brannigan is with Tim Cash. BRANNIGAN All right, thank you very much. As you can see, I’m here with Tim Cash, who’s been told by OAOAST management to begin searching for new partners in the event Baron Windels and World Heavyweight Champion Mr. Dick don’t arrive before bell time or else forfeit the match. CASH Soldiers don’t quit, Tony. I’d rather enter the battlefield alone than forfeit. But I won’t have to because I know Baron and Jock will make it. Obviously they had some kind of transportation problem. But they’ll here. I promise you. Cash wanders off. BRANNIGAN Tim Cash, quite the optimist. Back to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted April 21, 2010 THE MATCH * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event! Sanctioned by the OAOAST, it’s for THE OAOAST 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER OAOAST Galaxy, ARE… YOU… READY? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! "Parade of the Charioteers" blares through the speakers as King Landon and Queen Esther walk to the ring arm in arm, James Blonde and Faqu right behind. BUFFER Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 717 pounds… the reigning and defending OAOAST 6-man tag team champions... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... and accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER, the 2010 King of the Ring... KING LANDON MADDIX! Presenting THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther holds the ropes open for King Landon who spins inside theatrically. COLE As longtime viewers know, the champion or champions are usually introduced last. Clearly the OAOAST is buying Tim Cash a bit more time for Baron Windels and OAOAST World Champion Mr. Dick, both of whom have yet to make it back from San Francisco where they were promoting the upcoming HeldDOWN~! scheduled for the first week of May earlier in the day. COACH It’s not like Baron Windels to miss a flight or Mr. Dick to pass up a shot at championship gold, so they likely ran into transportation problems. COLE Couldn’t they have called or sent a text to let everybody know what’s going on? COACH Maybe they’re with Jesse Ventura in Mexico. He’s got no TV down there. I’d go crazy without TV, phone or internet! “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues and Tim Cash emerges solo, a look of concern on his face. BUFFER And their opponent… from Peoria, Illinois... weighing 220 pounds… wrestling's last real good guy... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM CCAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash peaks over his shoulder on the way down the aisle in hopes BW and MD will be there behind him, but no. His back turned Cash is blindsided by Faqu. * DINGDINGDING * Faqu tosses Cash inside and gets met by a series of forearm smashes that have little effect. So Cash STOMPS Faqu’s foot and sprints off the ropes… but right into a SAMOAN DROP! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Faqu whips Cash to the buckle and roars at the top of his lungs. Luckily for Cash, he avoids a corner avalanche and executes a SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash ducks a clothesline and scores with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK, and then a MISSLE DROPKICK!! COLE You go boyfriend! COACH :huh: James Blonde runs in and gets hip tossed for his trouble. Blonde reverses a whip but Cash slides through his legs, leapfrogs him on the rebound and Blonde collides with Faqu! COACH I think I’d rather be in a car wreck than crash into Faqu. COLE He’s built Ford tough alright. And we’ll be in the home of the Ford motor company next week, Detroit, for the Motor City Spectacular live on TSM and The Pit in Canada. Cash gives Blonde and Faqu a DOUBLE COCONUT, but it doesn’t faze the Samoan Wrecking Ball one bit. Quick thrust kick levels Cash and King Landon immediately demands the tag. COLE Oh yeah, only once his team’s in firm control does King Landon want in. What a glory whore he is. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! In no mood to break a sweat tonight, King Landon tags out. Up top goes James Blonde, but Cash moves and Blonde smacks his knee on the canvas! COACH The lights were on but nobody was home there. Cash hooks the legs and just about has Blonde turned over in THE MIDWEST SLING when Faqu breaks it up with a HEADBUTT. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE With Cash all by his lonesome we can expect plenty of that. Cash isn’t alone for long, however. THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS take their place in his corner, much to the horror of the King and Queen. COACH What are those idiots doing? COLE I think Tim Cash just found him a couple of partners. Decked out in their street clothes, Simon and Ned rally the crowd behind Cash. But it’s not enough to prevent the corner clothesline/bulldog combo delivered by Blonde. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Simon makes the save! COACH Don’t tell me the referee is gonna allow the Orange County Cobras to participate in the match. That should be a DQ. Blonde whips Cash to the corner and tags King Landon. After a barrage of forearm strikes King Landon snaps Cash over and repeatedly kicks him in the face. COLE Tim Cash being forced to Kiss the Royal Feet of King Landon. Insulting as it is painful. King Landon follows a jawbreaker with a nonchalant cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY NED! The Handsome Hustler doesn’t stop there, though. He stomps a mud hole in the King’s ass and walks it dry! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Go in there and save your King, you fools. As if he heard Coach, Blonde jumps in and eats a clothesline. Meanwhile, a tag is made and Faqu decks Ned with an open-handed thrust. Faqu next turns his attention to Cash, splashing him in the corner. Cash drops to the seat of his pants and Faqu delivers his trademark RUNNING BUTT SMASH~! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Faqu lifts Cash off the mat and gives him a HIGH ANGLE BACKDROP SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! Faqu again lifts Cash’s shoulders off the mat. Laid out mid-ring, Cash is helpless as Faqu scales the buckles. COACH Faqu’s gonna turn Tim Cash into a human pancake, Cole. COLE More importantly, the match will be over if he connects. Suddenly Faqu loses his balance thanks to the O.C. Cobras shaking the top rope and CROTCHES himself! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" FAQU :o Ned receives the tag and with Faqu stranded on the top rope easily performs THE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! COACH Talk about luck. No way Ned gets Faqu up if he were still on his feet. COLE You need a little luck in life sometimes. Rather than go for the cover Ned tags Simon and the O.C. Cobras drop THE ATOMIC BLOND~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT… AND WITH AUTHORITY! Simon quickly delivers a DDT, but Faqu pops right back up. COACH (laughs) You know what they say about blonds, Cole. Simon just forgot Faqu is Samoan. Faqu lets out a mighty roar, which turns into a painful cry after Simon thumbs him in the eye! COLE Smarter than your average blond is Simon Singleton. What a counter there. The O.C. Cobras tag and then whip Faqu in for THE DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK. Unbeknownst to them, however, was a blind tag by King Landon who sneaks in as the ref escorts Simon to the corner and executes a LUNGBLOWER on Ned! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" King Landon slaps the mat in frustration, then attempts to make Ned GO 2 SLEEP… but the Handsome Hustler floats over and delivers a PILEDRIVER! The cover. COLE We’re gonna have new champions! The count. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BLONDE! Bedlam ensues as Simon jumps on Blonde, then Faqu on Simon, followed by Cash on Faqu. Simon dumps Blonde outside and the O.C. Cobras assist Cash against Faqu. Amazingly, Faqu still puts up a tough fight. He flings Simon over the top and floors Ned. If things couldn’t get any wilder, “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue blasts over the loud speakers. COACH Oh, shit. The crowd erupts as OAOAST World Champion/tag title co-holder MISTER DICK and fellow tag champion BARON WINDELS charge the ring. COLE They’re here! The Lone Star Gunslingers are here! No longer officially part of the match, BW is restrained by the official. That doesn’t stop MD, though. Unafraid to break the rules he sneaks in and gives CASH A STIFF KICK JUST MILLISECONDS AFTER CASH DECKS KING LANDON!! COLE Oh… my! MD stands around in utter disbelief before going to BW’s aid outside. The tag champs brawl with Blonde and Faqu as King Landon covers Cash. COLE He's not the legal man, ref! COACH With all this confusion I don't think the referee knows who is the legal man. The count. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE Like thieves in the night, the Cucaracha Kingdom steal one. BUFFER The winners of the match… and still 6-man tag team champions… "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... and KING LANDON MADDIX… THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther celebrates with her King and his men. Meanwhile, BW, Simon and Ned tend to Cash while MD shakes his head in disgust. COACH All hail King Landon and his Cucaracha Kingdom. They just defeated 5 men, Cole. COLE The look on Mr. Dick’s face says it all, ladies and gentlemen. You can tell his sick to his stomach over the events that lead to the Cucaracha Kingdom retaining here tonight. And folks, we are running low on time. We thank you for joining us tonight and hope to see you again next week for the Motor City Spectacular. Until then, have a goodnight! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
