HD: Josie segment

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Let's send it back to Josh Matthews with Josie Baker, for a big announcement.


Ready and waiting in her office, Josie stands behind her desk with clipboard in hand. Josh, obediently there with microphone in hand.

JOSH
Ms Baker, we understand you've got some big news in regards to next week's big event in Detroit.

JOSIE
That's right Josh and I'd like to take this opportunity to remind all our fans who aren't lucky enough to be able to join us live from Detroit, to watch it as it happens, live on TSM. Now, for our fans who will be in Detroit, there is some good news and some... well, sort of good news. I guess. First, the good news. I've had Lorelei DeCenzo and Theodore Moneymaker pestering me, complaining about the disrespect that they think the LDC Moneygang have been put through as of late. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is their own fault. If they dislike wearing women's clothing so much, perhaps they shouldn't have accepted the stipulation from Chicks Over Dicks. But, I digress. The Enterprise want the OAOAST to compensate them for, what they claim is, "irreperable damage to their marketing image". Well, the OAOAST are happy to pay The Enterprise... [i]and[/i], give them a chance to repair some of the damage done to their credibility. And they have been given the option to do it in Detroit by showing up and wrestling Detroit's own, D*LUX. Unfortunately, Spencer is refusing to compete again until after his 30 days are up. So, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker will be filling in for him.

Seemingly impressed, Josh nods.

JOSH
Okay, so Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker versus D*LUX next week. What about the... uh, 'not so great' news?

JOSIE
Well, that would involve another of Michigan's "finest". Leon Rodez.

Bitter at the very name Josie scowls down at her clipboard a little.

JOSIE
Seems like there's a whole queue of people lined up at more door lately, all waiting to be the next to cause me trouble. And Leon is right at the front of the queue. See Leon has essentially stolen from me, he's stolen from the OAOAST. And now he's trying to hold me to ransom, in order to keep that stolen property. It's not going to work. I could easily go through the proper legal channels to make sure that if Leon doesn't uncuff that briefcase from his wrist and hand it over as he has been asked, he'll never get within 100 feet of a wrestling ring to even cash his little contract in....

JOSH
But, you're not going to?

A little annoyed at being called on this, Josie gives Josh a sharp look.

JOSIE
I [i]could[/i]. But, I have a better idea in mind. You see, the OAOAST weren't responsible for Leon not having a match at AngleMania. Leon was the one who walked out. If he had wanted that Money In The Bank briefcase so badly, perhaps instead of sulking and running away, he could have fought for it. Not once did I try and keep him out of that match. My problem isn't with Leon Rodez holding the Money In The Bank briefcase, no matter what conspiracy theory he's dreamt up in his mind. My problem and the OAOAST's problem is that he didn't earn it. However, we can solve that. If Leon wants to keep the briefcase... all he has to do is win it.

Josie smiles to herself. And, presumably, to Leon, assuming he's watching.

JOSIE
And all he has to do to win it is to beat the man who's hands he stole that briefcase out of at AngleMania, the real "victim" in this sorry mess, Baron Windels. One on one, in Detroit.

Satisfied with her work, Josie sets the clipboard down.

JOSH
Uh, before we go Josie, do you have any comment about the current situation regarding the backstage turmoil between Anglesault and Za...

Josie quickly sticks a hand up and cuts Josh off.

JOSIE
I will have [i]no[/i] comment to make on that situation and there will be no comment of it on my show. Now, please see yourself out.

Realising he's overstepped his mark, Josh quickly skulks off.