Lord of The Curry Posted March 30, 2008 Report Posted March 30, 2008 Discussing what animal could fuck up all other animals is always fun. So, I bought the Planet Earth set earlier this week and holy shit it's awesome. Watching it made me realize that a fully grown adult bison would push the shit in of mostly any land mammal. In terms of predators I don't think they have any natural enemies so basically it would be up to the elephants and rhinos of the world to step up and even then bison have the same weight as a rhino with a height/speed advantage. Here's another one to ponder: fully grown grizzly bear vs fully grown silverback gorilla.
Lt. Al Giardello Posted March 30, 2008 Report Posted March 30, 2008 Gorilla by Round 2 TKO, 2:30. Ground and Pound baby!
Lord of The Curry Posted March 30, 2008 Author Report Posted March 30, 2008 I'm thinkin' the gorilla goes Congo on the bear, picks up two rocks and smashes the shit out of it's skull. I imagine the ape would be strong enough to take out an eye or break an orbital bone or something but also keep in mind that if the bear connected with a nice swipe of the paw it could totally disembowel the gorilla. The bears best chance would be to put the gorilla on his back and go for the throat.
Lord of The Curry Posted March 30, 2008 Author Report Posted March 30, 2008 I think it would depend on if the gorilla can get in close or not. Also, keep in mind that bears apparently turn into huge pussies if you tag them on the nose so if the gorilla managed to get a few decent shots in that might be enough to win.
CanadianGuitarist Posted March 30, 2008 Report Posted March 30, 2008 A buddy and I have long pondered polar bear vs. lion. Venue is key to any animal fight.
Guest cobainwasmurdered Posted March 30, 2008 Report Posted March 30, 2008 Komodo Dragons are complete badasses. Even if the other animal wins the fight, as long as the Komodo got a bite in, the animal will probably die from the bacteria in the Komodo's mouth.
CanadianGuitarist Posted March 30, 2008 Report Posted March 30, 2008 as long as the Komodo got a bite in, the animal will probably die from the bacteria in the Komodo's mouth. That's actually how most people die in croc/gator attacks. They were my longstanding pick in an Animal Royal Rumble, but I never appreciated how big great whites were. Should this become a knock-out bracket tournament? Or maybe a World Cup style set-up, with preliminary groups based on the continents? I say yes, but I've always liked tournaments.
Lord of The Curry Posted March 30, 2008 Author Report Posted March 30, 2008 What would be a good neutral territory for said battles to take place in? I imagine finding a common one would be difficult as footing may or may not be a factor with some animals. A tournament would be fun but difficult. It more or less would boil down to which group is making the better argument unless actual evidence can be referenced to legit fights going down in the wild.
RavishingRickRudo Posted March 30, 2008 Report Posted March 30, 2008 I know this isn't theory, but... Water Buffalo vs. Lions w/ a crocodile run-in.
Lord of The Curry Posted March 31, 2008 Author Report Posted March 31, 2008 So, back to the point of my original post: What predators out there do you think would have a shot against the almighty bison?
the max Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 A bear would totally take down a bison. I think bears are probably the scariest things on the planet. A brown bear can grow up to 9 feet tall, weigh over 1000 pounds and is still almost faster than a horse. Plus it has claws, teeth and has roughly 3 times the strength of a human (usually more). In my opinion, bears are the thing to beat until proven otherwise.
Twisted Intestine Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 What would be a good neutral territory for said battles to take place in? I imagine finding a common one would be difficult as footing may or may not be a factor with some animals. What about a big arena with all the elements? It can have grass, sand, ice, water, snow, rock walls for the monkeys, trees, and everything. The animals are let out on opposite sides, and its up to them who attacks first/where the attack takes place.
Guest Tzar Lysergic Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 One-on-one, on land, there's nothing touch a full-grown bull elephant. Tusks, size, intelligence, and speed. I think a lot of you are underestimating venomous snakes. Element of surprise. Also, against animals that aren't specialized against them (mongoose), a few strikes from a boomslang or a mamba could probably KO a grizzly.
The Niggardly King Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 Fuck these animals, give me a pack of em big as Japanese hornets, or some bot flies, and then let's see what the fuck a bear, bison, or lion gonna do
Lord of The Curry Posted March 31, 2008 Author Report Posted March 31, 2008 One-on-one, on land, there's nothing touch a full-grown bull elephant. Tusks, size, intelligence, and speed. I think a lot of you are underestimating venomous snakes. Element of surprise. Also, against animals that aren't specialized against them (mongoose), a few strikes from a boomslang or a mamba could probably KO a grizzly. No doubt but c'mon, they're poisonous. It's not like you can say it's "unfair" because they were born with that natural ability but still.
Red Baron Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 I would say a cougar could take on a bear fairly easy. Their agility and speed would make it difficult for a bear to attack.
Guest Tzar Lysergic Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 Over a long haul, I bet a bear could outrun a cat. Bears can climb, too.
CanadianGuitarist Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 Rhinos and hippos have to be sleeper picks. I'll have a World Cup prelim bracket by the end of the day. I really have nothing to do outside of the ballgame anyway.
hyperchord24 Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 This questions really only applies to Apes and the like, but are weapons legal?
Lord of The Curry Posted March 31, 2008 Author Report Posted March 31, 2008 Rhinos and hippos have to be sleeper picks. I'll have a World Cup prelim bracket by the end of the day. I really have nothing to do outside of the ballgame anyway. Hippos can be beasts but they only really have one method of attack which is to swing their jaws around and slash with their tusks. If something speedy like a tiger or bear could avoid that and end up jumping on the hippos back or locking a good grip on the hippo's neck it'd be dust.
CanadianGuitarist Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 So I'm thinking, something along the lines of: All water-based animals. All flying animals. North American land animals. African land animals. Australian land animals. But that's a little broad. That'd mean like 20 animals in one group and two or three in another. We'll see. I don't know about weapons. I mean, probably not, but who am I to say "No, dammit! No weapons! We must preserve the integrity of the fight between a hippopotamus and a kangaroo!"
CanadianGuitarist Posted March 31, 2008 Report Posted March 31, 2008 Rhinos and hippos have to be sleeper picks. I'll have a World Cup prelim bracket by the end of the day. I really have nothing to do outside of the ballgame anyway. Hippos can be beasts but they only really have one method of attack which is to swing their jaws around and slash with their tusks. If something speedy like a tiger or bear could avoid that and end up jumping on the hippos back or locking a good grip on the hippo's neck it'd be dust. Are bears that speedy?
Jorge Gorgeous Posted April 1, 2008 Report Posted April 1, 2008 Rhinos and hippos have to be sleeper picks. I'll have a World Cup prelim bracket by the end of the day. I really have nothing to do outside of the ballgame anyway. Hippos can be beasts but they only really have one method of attack which is to swing their jaws around and slash with their tusks. If something speedy like a tiger or bear could avoid that and end up jumping on the hippos back or locking a good grip on the hippo's neck it'd be dust. Are bears that speedy? Oh yes they are. And what about South America and Asia? You dare shirk the tiger, sun bear and three-toed sloth?
PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! Posted April 1, 2008 Report Posted April 1, 2008 If we're talking gang warfare, my money is on the siafu.
Lord of The Curry Posted April 1, 2008 Author Report Posted April 1, 2008 We aren't. This is one-on-one shit.
Ginger Snaps Posted April 1, 2008 Report Posted April 1, 2008 If we're talking gang warfare, my money is on the siafu. If it's gang warfare, wolves would own everything. Humans are the only thing keeping them in check. I think they covered this in the "world without people" special on TLC or Discovery or one of channels. Wolves would just multiply like crazy and just take over.
CanadianGuitarist Posted April 1, 2008 Report Posted April 1, 2008 If we're talking gang warfare, my money is on the siafu. If it's gang warfare, wolves would own everything. Humans are the only thing keeping them in check. I think they covered this in the "world without people" special on TLC or Discovery or one of channels. Wolves would just multiply like crazy and just take over. That also rules out piranha, who I always put-together as like, 50=1. If they're on their own, there's no debating sharks win the water category. I didn't do that bracket, either....yet.
Red Baron Posted April 1, 2008 Report Posted April 1, 2008 If Mama bear has any cubs around, her overall stats would increase by +15.
Lord of The Curry Posted April 2, 2008 Author Report Posted April 2, 2008 In terms of sea battles I'd really enjoy seeing a great white test its mettle against a giant squid who have taken out prey much larger then the shark.
the max Posted April 2, 2008 Report Posted April 2, 2008 Sea battles would definitely be interesting, especially whoever drew the blue whale in the early rounds of a tournament. While the blue whale isn't a predator of sharks or anything, it has been known to eat squid that it accidentally sucks up. I think it would just be exhausting for whoever drew it in the first round to take down because of its sheer size (up to 100 ft. and can weigh over 100 tons). My money would still be on the shark, or whoever just because it's more likely to attack and get the first hit in, but still. Hell of a first round draw.
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